- 2 days ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:03Look at this.
00:04It says here I can look like this guy just by working out 15 minutes a day.
00:13You better make it 20.
00:19How are you two?
00:20Yeah, super.
00:24Yeah, help yourself, Dad.
00:26Your mother's never at home anymore.
00:29She hasn't cooked for me in a month.
00:31Oh, she's really loving that sculpture class, isn't she?
00:34Yeah, thanks for talking her into that.
00:38I just ate a fistful of bouillon cubes.
00:45Hey, did you know that Marie's teacher said that she has real talent?
00:49Really? The teacher that she pays?
00:53Never mind.
00:54Look, she's meeting new people. I think that's good for her.
00:57Have you talked to them?
01:02Another season of Everybody Loves Raymond.
01:08Hi, everyone.
01:08Here we go.
01:08Come on.
01:34Hi, everyone.
01:37Oh, my God. Look, they've tented your mother for termites.
01:43I finished the piece I was working on.
01:46Is it a sandwich?
01:49I'm so excited. I can't wait for you to see it. Are you ready?
01:53Ready.
01:54Bring it in, Robbie. Be careful.
01:56Hey, everybody. Shh. Don't ruin the moment.
02:02Okay, everybody.
02:05I want to thank both Raymond and Deborah for their support and encouragement of my artistic pursuits.
02:12All right, Frank.
02:14And in the tradition of artists and their patrons, the Michelangelo's and the Medici's, I give you this.
02:25Oh, Marie, this is fantastic.
02:31You like it?
02:32Wow.
02:32Yeah. Oh, I love it. You really did this?
02:36Yeah, Ma, it's great.
02:38Robbie, turn on the light.
02:41Hey, can I talk to you? Come over here a second.
02:43Yeah.
02:45Did you look at the sculpture?
02:49Yeah, that's great. What?
02:50Yeah, well, what does it look like?
02:57I don't know. It doesn't look like anything.
03:00Oh, it definitely looks like something.
03:09What?
03:11Don't you think it looks a little like a...
03:19What?
03:22Isn't it a bit too... ladylike?
03:34Great.
03:35See?
03:35Oh, now I do. Thank you.
03:39Raymond, what do you think?
03:41What? Yeah.
03:43Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:44It's good.
03:44Uh-huh.
03:46Yeah.
03:47It's wonderful, Marie. Really.
03:51So, Ma, what is it?
03:52It's an abstract.
03:54Not abstract enough.
03:57You've done an amazing job.
03:59It looks like something, though. What does it look like?
04:09I don't think Raymond likes it.
04:12What?
04:13What?
04:14You're hardly looking at it.
04:16What?
04:16I'm looking at it.
04:18You can get close.
04:19You can even touch it.
04:20I'm fine.
04:27This is bugging me.
04:28Where have I seen this guy?
04:35You know, the Greeks used to say that the shape is in the stone just waiting to come out.
04:53Oh, my God.
04:55You're a bug.
04:57You're a bug.
04:58You're a bug.
05:00No, it's...
05:01It's nothing.
05:02It's fabulous.
05:06Abstract.
05:07Very ugly.
05:10I gotta tell you, I don't know what the hell this is.
05:14But I love it.
05:20You're really frank.
05:21Oh, thank you.
05:26Well...
05:26Can you see it, huh?
05:27Yeah, make it stop.
05:31Well, where should we put it?
05:34What?
05:35It's a gift to you and Raymond.
05:40Bad, oh, bad.
05:48I think it looks great right here.
05:51It becomes the focal point of the whole room.
05:54Oh, my God.
05:55Do you have to say something?
05:56Yeah, why me?
05:57Because this is a woman's issue.
05:59You know how you can tell it's good, Art?
06:03Because it follows you when you move.
06:10Robbie, let's take the dolly back to the studio.
06:13With pleasure, Mother.
06:17Enjoy your sculpture, Raymond.
06:23Ta-da!
06:29Dad.
06:30Dad, you can go now, too.
06:32In a minute.
06:34Come on, you can visit it later, all right?
06:36Come on.
06:36Hey, you know, I'll tell you what.
06:37I'm gonna bring my camera over here and get a shot of all of us standing around it.
06:42Hey, that could be our Christmas card.
06:44Yeah.
06:49You know...
06:52Maybe...
06:52Well, from this angle, it looks kind of like a...
06:57Like a...
06:59A sailboat.
07:00Yes, I see a sailboat.
07:02A sailboat that could use a pair of underwear.
07:10Okay, listen.
07:12Your mother gave this to us, and if we have to live with it, it's gonna be a sailboat.
07:16Whoa, whoa, whoa.
07:16I'm not living with it, okay?
07:18I can't live with it!
07:19You can't tell her that.
07:21Now, this may make you uncomfortable, but we have got to support her.
07:24Oh, great.
07:25Yes, we'll support her.
07:26Meantime, there's gonna be a cover charge to get in our living room.
07:33I can't find my crayons.
07:35Crayons?
07:36No, there's no crayons here.
07:37Here.
07:38Here they are, honey.
07:39There you go, sweetie.
07:40What's that?
07:41What?
07:42What?
07:43Oh, look.
07:44It's something that your grandmother carved out of stone.
07:47This is called a sculpture.
07:49This is art.
07:54Okay, maybe that's enough art for now.
07:56Shoot.
07:57Go play.
07:58Can I call him?
07:58No.
07:59Go upstairs.
08:05You know, not that I would encourage it, but the way he was looking at it, that's good,
08:09right?
08:09He's like a little man.
08:14Idiot.
08:15What?
08:16Because my father was concerned about him in that department.
08:28Oh, damn.
08:29It does follow you.
08:42All right, if you're gonna stand there, at least block my view.
08:48What?
08:51I've been thinking about it, and I'm wondering, where's my sculpture?
08:55What are you talking about?
08:56You want one of these?
08:58You mean a sign of affection for my mother?
09:00I don't know.
09:00What's that like?
09:03This is a sign of affection?
09:05In its own disturbing way, yes.
09:08Oh, yeah.
09:09You're sick.
09:10You're sick.
09:10You.
09:11I love you.
09:12Okay.
09:13All right, anyway.
09:14Bye.
09:15Okay, great.
09:16Parker's basement is flooded.
09:18That's funny.
09:18I hate that, Parker.
09:21No, that's not funny, Ray.
09:22Their whole house is flooded.
09:23That means no play date.
09:25Oh.
09:26So why can't the kids just come over here?
09:27I don't know, Ray.
09:28Do we really want to have all the neighborhood kids come over here and learn about the birds
09:32and the gigantic bees?
09:35I thought it was a sailboat.
09:37Frank, what are you doing?
09:38He's been standing there for an hour.
09:40Would you stop staring at that?
09:41You're freaking me out.
09:44Why?
09:44It's just a sailboat.
09:45That's no sailboat.
09:46All right.
09:47Look, come on, Dad.
09:49Where are we going?
09:50Pizza.
09:51Can't we just order in?
09:53Let's go.
09:56You know what?
09:57Pizza sounds good.
09:58I'm going to get a couple.
09:58Oh, no, no, no, no.
09:59You're not going anywhere.
10:01Why?
10:01Why not?
10:02Because I can't take one more day being stuck here with that.
10:05And the kids and their questions.
10:07Why did Grandma make that?
10:08What is it?
10:09Why is it so big?
10:11I can't take it anymore.
10:13I'm seeing it in my sleep.
10:15I see it, and I know it's your mother's, and we have to get rid of it.
10:23All right.
10:24I'm with you.
10:25How?
10:26I don't know, honey.
10:26Just do it, okay?
10:27I can't look at it anymore.
10:29All right.
10:29Okay.
10:30You know what?
10:31I'm...
10:33I'm covering it up for now.
10:36I'll start sanding it down tomorrow.
10:40Every day a little bit more.
10:41I'll sneak the dust out of my pants to the yard.
10:45If I was just in the...
10:53You know what I'm doing?
10:56I'm covering it up because it seems so alive that it should rest at night.
11:13Nighty-night.
11:21Nighty-night.
11:23Raymond?
11:24You're covering my sculpture with a garbage bag?
11:29Well, um...
11:30Well...
11:31We didn't want it to get dirty.
11:32You know how dusty I let this house get.
11:36I know, dear, but that's all right.
11:39I gave it to you to enjoy.
11:41A little dust can't hurt it.
11:44Yeah, I know, but don't you want to enjoy it, too?
11:46You know, it doesn't seem fair that we get all the enjoyment.
11:48Maybe you could keep it in your house, and we could come by for enjoyable visits.
11:53Yeah, that would be great.
11:55But I gave it to you.
11:57Yes.
11:58Yes, you did.
11:59And...
12:00And we love it.
12:01Love it!
12:07But I was just thinking...
12:09Just now...
12:10Um...
12:11It's so precious.
12:12I mean, what if one of the kids breaks it?
12:14Yeah.
12:15That would be bad.
12:20Well, if you're worried about that, we could move it.
12:23Or we could go in your bedroom!
12:25No!
12:25No!
12:26No!
12:26No!
12:27No!
12:28No!
12:28No!
12:29No!
12:29No!
12:29No!
12:29No!
12:30No!
12:33No!
12:34We're bipalutin'.
12:36We're simple folks.
12:44Are you saying you don't want it?
12:52Well, the thing is
12:55It's not really my taste
12:58You know, I like the kind of statues
13:01Like a horse
13:03Or somebody's head
13:05You know, or the Heisman Trophy
13:07That's a beauty
13:13I'm really into unicorns myself
13:18I see
13:20All right
13:22Well
13:24Thank you for your candor
13:26But you're really a great sculptorist
13:28You know, why don't you
13:30Why don't you do like a
13:32Mount Rushmore only with us
13:38It's okay, Raymond
13:39You don't have to keep it
13:41And I don't expect you to come to the class exhibit either
13:44I think it's safe to say you wouldn't enjoy it
13:47Oh, Marie
13:47Oh, and I'm sorry that it had to be in your house for so long
13:51I'll have it removed just as soon as possible
14:01I think it's mad
14:23Oh, hello
14:24Hello
14:26Raymond Barone
14:29I'm Sister Anne
14:30This is Sister Beth
14:31We're here to pick up the sculpture
14:42You're what?
14:44The one your mother donated to the church auction
14:46Oh, um, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah
14:49That sculpture, that's not here anymore
14:50It's not?
14:51No, no, no
14:51Isn't that a sculpture?
14:53No, no, no, no, no
14:54But, but, but, but, but, but
14:55Ow!
14:55It's not
14:58Ow!
15:00Oh
15:01I'm sorry
15:02I'm sorry
15:03I'm sorry
15:04Sorry, Sister, yes
15:05Uh, you mean that sculpture
15:06Yeah, yeah, that's the sculpture
15:08I, I, we
15:09We had another sculpture
15:11I got confused, that's all
15:12That's, that's the sculpture
15:14I was not lying to nuns
15:18Okay, let's load it up
15:19Okay, all right
15:20Take it away
15:21Enjoy it
15:23The sheet comes with it
15:25You get that for free
15:26No lie
15:26Ha, ha
15:27You know what?
15:28The sheet should stay on it all the time
15:29It's kind of part of the sculpture
15:30You, no, no
15:53Oh, my
15:55Wow
15:58Pretty abstract
15:59Uh, okay, all right, all right
16:01Let's, uh
16:01Let's load this puppy up
16:03All right
16:09Good sisters, I'm glad you're here
16:11Oh, boy
16:13Mrs. Barone, hello
16:14Hello
16:15Is that the sculpture
16:17You intended to contribute
16:18To the church auction?
16:19Yes
16:19Well, don't you think
16:22The subject matter is
16:24Might be
16:25Inappropriate
16:27Subject matter?
16:29What do you mean?
16:30Forgive me
16:31But is that not
16:33A sculptor of
16:35What?
16:44What's wrong with you?
16:48It's just that
16:49It may not be right
16:50Are you crazy?
16:52Okay, uh, sisters
16:53Thank you for coming by
16:54We certainly appreciate it
16:56If you have anything else
16:57We'll be happy to take it
16:58If you have a sculpture
16:59Of almost anything else
17:01Yeah, uh, we don't
17:02We don't have any more sculptures
17:03We don't
17:04I have a ceramic pig upstairs
17:05It's full of quarters
17:06You want that?
17:07That's all right
17:08We'll, we'll just be going
17:09Okay, all right
17:10Thank you
17:11God bless you
17:12I'll, I'll see you Sunday
17:13I'm gonna breed the pig
17:21Nuns, right?
17:22What's going on?
17:32Raymond, do you see
17:33What they see?
17:38Um, I don't know
17:39Now, tell me the truth
17:43Well
17:44Maybe if I squint a little
17:49Oh, my God
17:53I'm a lesbian
18:05Mom
18:06Well, look at it
18:07I've seen it
18:08I mean, it's, it's so obvious
18:11No, no
18:12It's not, really
18:14I'm a failure
18:18Hey
18:22There
18:28So what?
18:30You, you made a thing
18:34It's not that, Raymond
18:36I'm not a prude
18:38I mean, the female body
18:39Is a beautiful thing
18:40Okay, okay, okay
18:43So, so what is it?
18:44What's bothering you?
18:46It's supposed to be an abstract
18:49The teachers told us
18:50That we could make
18:51Any kind of a statue we wanted
18:53And so I chose an abstract
18:55Because I thought it was easy
18:57Turns out I can't even do that
19:02Deborah thinks it looks like a sailboat
19:08There's something wrong with her
19:15I just tried to
19:17Do something different
19:20Find
19:21Something new
19:22That's all
19:24Something more than just being a
19:26Short order cook for your father
19:31You wanted to find something new
19:33About yourself?
19:35Well
19:37Nobody expected this
19:42Ta-da
19:45All right, Raymond
19:46No, I mean, come on, Molly
19:47Look, you made something here
19:49It was an accident
19:51Hey, so was penicillin
19:53And Robert
19:56No, come on
19:57Really, come over here
19:59Look, look at this
20:00I mean, look
20:02All right
20:03It may not be my taste
20:04But
20:05But this used to be just a rock
20:07Okay, even I can appreciate that
20:10Now, what do most people
20:11Who take an art class
20:12What do they make?
20:12Like a
20:13A little paperweight
20:14Or an ashtray
20:15But
20:16Look what you did
20:18You
20:19You know, I mean
20:22Look at this
20:23You made this
20:25You
20:26You
20:26You got people talking
20:27You shocked people
20:29Right?
20:31I think that's what real artists do
20:35I'm proud of you
20:39Thank you, Raymond
20:41You're a good boy
20:47But really, you gotta get it out of here
20:55Oh, thank you for coming
20:57I'm just so thrilled you came
21:00Wilbury, your piece was the hit of the show
21:02Oh, thank you, dear
21:03Great
21:04Congratulations, yeah
21:05You didn't have to dedicate it to me
21:09Who else?
21:11Who else?
21:16Yeah
21:17Alright, I gotta go home
21:18And wash my eyes
21:20Okay, let's go
21:21Where's Frank?
21:29If you ask me
21:31It looks like a
21:49Holy crap
21:51This is just like that
21:51We'll come back
21:53And help me
21:54We'll come back
21:55And help me
21:56Mm-hm
22:08Ah, my people
22:08Just remember
22:08Is the truth
22:08Top
22:08Top
22:09Top
22:09Top
Comments