- 2 days ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:08What are you doing?
00:09I got the kids ready for school.
00:12What are you talking about?
00:13It's Saturday.
00:17Oh, my God.
00:19It is Saturday.
00:22Because yesterday was Friday.
00:27Very good.
00:30You don't know the day.
00:35Extra hour of sleep.
00:41Minus five minutes of heaven.
00:46Honey, come on, the kids.
00:47The kids.
00:50Come on, it's Saturday.
00:52They're downstairs watching cartoons.
00:53No, but what if they come up?
00:54No, no, they're in the zone, okay?
00:57We're safe as long as there's electricity.
01:04What?
01:05Is that it?
01:05Are we done?
01:08Something hit the wall.
01:17You scared the crap out of me.
01:19What the hell are you doing?
01:22I'm painting your house.
01:23What's it look like?
01:25Looks like we have the world's ugliest shutters.
01:34Listen, Frank, we were going to hire painters to do that.
01:38So, you can thank me later.
01:40I like fine chocolates.
01:43Yeah, please, get down from there, okay?
01:45We're trying to sleep here.
01:47Oh, sure.
01:48Yeah, I gotcha.
01:50A little, uh, Saturday morning wake me up.
01:54Just close the window.
01:55I won't listen.
02:02You know, I'm not worried about the listening.
02:04It's the heckling.
02:14So, get your father off that ladder, would you?
02:16Okay.
02:17Well, look who finally decided to get out of bed.
02:20What?
02:21Ma!
02:227.30, Marie.
02:24Well, Debra, I was coming over here with French toast for Frank,
02:26and then I noticed that your children were starving.
02:29Yay!
02:30French toast!
02:33Ma, why is Dad painting the house?
02:35Oh, that's my gift to you.
02:39What?
02:40Well, you two always talk about having your house painted,
02:43so I put your father on the job.
02:47Marie, we were going to hire professionals.
02:49Oh, well, Frank is very good.
02:51He did a nice job on our house, and he likes the fumes.
02:57Well, yes, he did do a nice job on your house,
03:00and I would hate to kill anyone's buzz, but...
03:04Yeah, but we were kind of thinking that we would be the ones
03:06to make that decision, because it is kind of our house.
03:11Yes, but we're the ones who have to look at it.
03:17All right, I'm going to use this French toast to lure him off the ladder.
03:19Okay, okay, okay. Just let your father do this.
03:22I need him out of my house.
03:24Ever since he's retired, he's around all the time.
03:28But that's what happens when you retire.
03:30I know, but I never thought he'd live this long.
03:36Come on, Ma, look.
03:38That's not our problem, all right?
03:40You've had 40 years to poison him.
03:42Okay.
03:43All right, Raymond, please.
03:45I need space.
03:46I need a little time to myself.
03:48I don't want him around when I'm trying to do things.
03:50What? Do what things?
03:52When I'm trying to improve myself.
03:56This doesn't just happen.
04:00I mean, I practice my languages, I have my opera,
04:03and I'm starting yoga.
04:10What? Is that so strange?
04:12Yes.
04:16What are you doing?
04:17Painting your house.
04:18Oh, come on.
04:20You too?
04:21Ma said we had to.
04:23Oh, so you do everything Ma tells you?
04:25It's a little late for rebellion, Raymond.
04:28Come on, look.
04:29I don't need both of you guys hanging off my house, okay?
04:31So go back in your truck, ring a bell, and sell some fudge pops.
04:40All right, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute, Ray.
04:43You know, that was very sweet of you to help.
04:46Thanks a lot, Robert.
04:48What?
04:48Now you want him to.
04:49Well, I mean, Robert's offered.
04:51Your dad's already started scraping.
04:53So, you know, I say fine.
04:54Well, come on.
04:54You don't want them.
04:55Hey, hey, hey.
04:56I've been asking you to get on this for months.
05:00All right, fine.
05:00Go.
05:01You want to paint the house?
05:02Go.
05:02Paint the house.
05:04All three of you can paint it together.
05:07Wouldn't that be nice?
05:08No, no.
05:09Look, it's Saturday, and I got a lot of Saturday things planned, okay?
05:14Hey, Bud Bunny.
05:16Hey.
05:17Oh, what is this?
05:18Duck season or rabbit season?
05:20Yeah.
05:26Oh, no, look out, look out.
05:38Raymond.
05:46Raymond.
05:47Raymond.
05:48So you're fine with them painting your house?
05:51Yes.
05:52It's Saturday.
05:58All right.
06:00Sorry, kids.
06:01Guess Daddy isn't gonna be able to spend any more quality time with you.
06:10Hey.
06:11What do you got?
06:13They finally making popsicles in your size?
06:17Would you stop?
06:19I can't take the old man anymore.
06:20He's driving me nuts.
06:22Ordering me around like a monkey.
06:24Calling me every name in the book.
06:26Nancy.
06:27Powderpuff.
06:27Princess.
06:29Monkey.
06:31So I'm getting a dopey, idiot, moron.
06:35At least yours makes sense.
06:43Well, best of luck.
06:45Hey, oh, no.
06:45No, no, no, no.
06:46You know, come on.
06:47You're not leaving me here with him.
06:48You knew what it was gonna be like working with Dad.
06:52I had him too, Raymond.
06:55He was up on the ladder.
06:59Would have looked like an accident.
07:03Hey, what's with all this standing around?
07:05You two working for the government?
07:08No.
07:09Well, I hate to break up this meeting of the campfire girls,
07:12but let's get to work.
07:14Chop, chop.
07:15We're working, Dad.
07:17Oh, yeah?
07:18Are you finished caulking, Lady Chatterley?
07:22That is a good one.
07:24Why aren't you done caulking?
07:27There's a wasp's nest by the downspout.
07:29So you take a stick and knock it down.
07:32They're wasps.
07:33They don't like that.
07:35Oh, well, here's what you do.
07:38If they come at you,
07:39you pull your skirt over your head and run.
07:42All right.
07:44Hey, Dad.
07:45You know, you don't have to caulk by the downspout.
07:47It's not that important.
07:48It's important if I say it's important.
07:51Okay, but this is my house.
07:53This is my job.
07:55People see me working out here.
07:57They're gonna know that Frank Barone did this job.
08:00So it's gonna get done right.
08:03Why are you still here?
08:07Hey, hey. It's just a couple of bugs.
08:09Knock it down with something.
08:11A stick, a broom, your binky.
08:14I don't care.
08:15Get up there and knock out that nest.
08:18All right.
08:25And what about you?
08:27Are you gonna scrape that paint or do a dance?
08:29I'm scraping.
08:31Whoa.
08:32Hey, wait a minute, Dad.
08:33You got the wrong color.
08:35Deborah wanted white.
08:37This is close.
08:38It's not close.
08:39It's yellow.
08:41And she wants white.
08:42She said Chantilly lace.
08:44Well, this is lemon meringue.
08:48Well, why did you get yellow?
08:50Because yellow is better.
08:52Yeah.
08:53Yeah, but Deborah likes white.
08:54Well, I don't care what Deborah likes and I don't care what you like.
08:58It's yellow, okay?
09:00And we're doing it yellow.
09:01Oh!
09:03Oh!
09:03Who's got the orange?
09:09Big baby.
09:14Listen, Dad, I gotta tell you, it's not only Deborah, okay?
09:16I want Chantilly lace, too.
09:19Dad, you hear what I'm saying?
09:20Dad, don't paint my house yellow.
09:22Dad, don't you open that paint can.
09:25Dad, you're not listening to me.
09:32Dad, Dad, don't you stir that paint.
09:34If you stir that paint,
09:35okay, you're just gonna have to return stirred paint now.
09:39And now that the can's open, you're gonna have to pay for it, okay?
09:42Because I'm sure as hell not paying for no lemon meringue.
09:44You hear me?
09:46I'm...
09:46Oh, no, you don't, Dad.
09:49Don't you go near that.
09:51You hear me, Dad?
09:52Don't you dip that brush.
09:54Dad, you do not dip that brush.
09:56I'm warning you.
09:56Dad, don't...
09:58Dad, if I see paint on that brush, I'm...
10:01Okay, that's yellow.
10:02That's yellow.
10:02Dad, don't you paint my house yellow.
10:05Do you hear me, Dad?
10:07Dad, I'm warning you!
10:12Okay, all right.
10:13Hey!
10:13That's it. That's it. Go home.
10:15Excuse me?
10:16Look, if you're not gonna do what I want, then I don't want you here.
10:18Go home.
10:18You don't tell me what to do.
10:20I do when it's my house, and it's my house, and I'm the boss, okay?
10:23So you're fired.
10:24I'm fired?
10:26Okay, I'm all right now.
10:28Hey, give a load of this, Robert.
10:30But Raymond says I'm fired.
10:31That's right. You're fired.
10:32You fired him?
10:34You wanna fire me?
10:37You can't fire me.
10:38Look, Dad, I'm not a kid anymore, okay?
10:40I don't like the way you treat me, and I don't like the way you treat the help either.
10:43So that's it.
10:51Fine.
10:52Paint your own damn house.
11:00Whoa.
11:01That's right.
11:03Now, I'm in charge of this now.
11:05Okay?
11:06And the first thing we're gonna do?
11:09Lunch.
11:11Yeah, but it's only 9.30.
11:12Lunch!
11:13Hey, you can't come in like that.
11:16You're soaking wet.
11:25Here, I thought it would be so nice, all the Barone men working together.
11:28No one works with Dad.
11:30You work for him.
11:32Because nobody can do anything right except him.
11:34Mm-hmm.
11:34Yeah, remember the fort?
11:36That's right.
11:37Robert and I were building a fort in our backyard.
11:40Nothing fancy, just this little fort.
11:42Yeah, just a place where we can read our comic books and other periodicals.
11:55And we were having fun, too, building the fort all by ourselves, right?
11:59Until Dad came home and told us we were doing it all wrong.
12:02Yeah.
12:02Didn't show us how to do it right.
12:04Just called us stupid stinking humps and did it himself.
12:08That's why when, when you get mad that I'm not the handiest guy around here, you know,
12:12it brings up a lot of stuff.
12:17I'm sorry.
12:19So it has nothing to do with you being lazy and watching TV all day?
12:25That's how I cover the hurt.
12:31Come on, Rick.
12:32Come on, dear.
12:32Hey, Mom.
12:33Oh!
12:36What are you doing?
12:37This is how you watch out for your father?
12:39What did I do?
12:40You made him carry ladders around.
12:42He didn't carry ladders.
12:43Then how did he wrench his back?
12:44What?
12:45He wrenched his back carrying ladders.
12:47Now, he's lying on my couch demanding soup.
12:50And don't tell him I told you about this.
12:52He didn't want me to make a big deal out of it.
12:54So why are you over here?
12:55I don't listen to him.
12:58His back is fine, Ma.
12:59I sent him home.
13:00I don't understand.
13:01He was being a big jerk, so I fired him.
13:07What do you mean you fired him?
13:08You fired your father?
13:10It had to be done, Ma.
13:13How could you do that to him?
13:15What do you mean him?
13:16What about what he does to us?
13:17We're not talking about that!
13:20Oh, God.
13:22Oh, God.
13:24Oh, God.
13:25All right.
13:26There's something about your father you don't know.
13:34He wears your things?
13:41What is it, Marie?
13:44Your father never retired from Pelk accounting.
13:47What are you talking about?
13:49If he's not retired, why does he buy his pants at the pharmacy?
13:53He told me he retired.
13:56But I found out the truth.
13:58They fired him.
14:01What?
14:02Why?
14:03Why?
14:04I have to tell you.
14:10Why did you fire him?
14:13And your father believes that his way of doing things is the only way.
14:16And after 25 years, that starts to get on people's nerves.
14:22So Frank never told you he was fired?
14:25How could he?
14:26You don't understand, Deborah.
14:28In my generation, the men had their jobs, and that's who they were.
14:35Oh, it must have been so humiliating for Frank to have that little Alvin Pelk fire him from his job.
14:41And now you boys just did the same thing to him.
14:47It was Raymond.
14:52Hey.
14:53No.
14:54Come on.
14:55Look, this isn't the same thing, okay?
14:57This wasn't his career.
14:58This was my house.
15:00What else does he have?
15:01Your house.
15:02He did that already.
15:04I think you're overreacting, okay?
15:05This wasn't that big a deal.
15:07It was a big enough deal for him to make up a story to me about hurting his back.
15:11You're his son.
15:13How do you think that made him feel?
15:15I hope you're happy, Raymond.
15:17Oh, shut up.
15:19And why should I worry about his feelings?
15:21He doesn't care about anybody else's.
15:23You don't think he cares about you?
15:25He's your father.
15:27He just isn't good at, uh...
15:29Living among humans.
15:32You know, I think you're the only one who thinks you're funny.
15:39Amen to that.
15:42Come on, come on.
15:42Go over.
15:43No, no, no, no, no, no.
15:45Ma, look, I'm sorry about his whole life, okay?
15:47But he was completely wrong here.
15:49He wanted to paint my house yellow.
15:51Yellow?
15:51Yeah, you believe that?
15:53Wow.
15:55Actually, yellow would be kind of nice.
15:57What?
15:58Oh, I like yellow.
16:00Look, you said Chantilly Lace.
16:02I heard you say Chantilly Lace.
16:04I fought for your damn Chantilly Lace.
16:06And now you're saying yellow?
16:07Who are you?
16:11What?
16:11Yellow just never occurred to me.
16:14But, you know, it's actually kind of sunny.
16:16What?
16:17You hear this? Okay?
16:18This is marriage.
16:19This is what you want.
16:20This is what you can't live without.
16:23Step aside.
16:28Raymond, go talk to your father.
16:29No, no.
16:31Yeah, you know, you should.
16:31Oh, excuse me.
16:32Who's speaking?
16:33Is that white Deborah or yellow Deborah?
16:36No, you really should.
16:37Look, I know your father can be a real jerk sometimes.
16:39Right.
16:40No one is arguing that.
16:42He's a bully and he's obstinate
16:44and he doesn't bathe every day.
16:47But I know that man.
16:49And I know he needs one thing.
16:52He needs to be needed.
16:57Do with that what you will.
17:07He's your father.
17:18Hey.
17:19Hey.
17:23Listen.
17:25I'm sorry about before.
17:27Okay, so...
17:29I'll come back over.
17:31We'll do a yellow.
17:33Yellow's okay.
17:34I talk Deborah into it.
17:38Okay?
17:40No.
17:42What do you mean, no?
17:45I mean, I'm not interested.
17:47I'm kind of busy right now.
17:50Oh.
17:51Right, I see.
17:52You got soup.
17:55And a puzzle.
17:57Well, it doesn't have to be right now.
17:59Whenever you feel like it.
18:04What, are you eating out of a pot?
18:05Because you don't like to clean a bowl?
18:09No, it's better this way.
18:12Oh.
18:16Hey, that's a keen eye you got there.
18:21The death of General Stonewall Jackson.
18:25Like this one?
18:26Very interesting figure in history.
18:29Considered the Confederacy's finest general.
18:32Shot by one of his own men.
18:36All right.
18:37You stop.
18:38God, I can't believe I invited you back.
18:40I can't believe I apologized to you even.
18:42Well, you should apologize to me.
18:43I was right.
18:44How are you right?
18:46How are you right?
18:47It's my house and you wanted to paint it yellow.
18:49How is that right?
18:49Because yellow covers better.
18:52It won't fade as fast.
18:54And you got white houses on either side of you.
18:57It makes your house pop a little.
19:00And it goes with your trim and the friggin' little daisies you got.
19:09Well, why didn't you just say that?
19:11I shouldn't have to say it.
19:13What?
19:13Because if I say it's yellow, that should be good enough for you.
19:16I shouldn't have to explain everything.
19:19I'm right.
19:22Okay, you're right.
19:23But you know, it's not always about being right.
19:25Yes, it is.
19:26Being right is all that matters.
19:28Everything else is crap.
19:31Oh, you have to consider people's feelings.
19:34Oh, what if they don't like you?
19:37They should like me because I did the job right.
19:40Yeah, that makes perfect sense if you work in a lighthouse.
19:46Exactly.
19:47I'd be fine if it weren't for people.
19:49No, it's those damn people.
19:51Well, you forget one thing.
19:52Me and Robert are people, too.
19:57Never mind.
19:58Never mind.
20:03Better mind.
20:09I don't know what happened.
20:10I don't know what happened.
20:10So what?
20:11Are the two of you gonna paint the house now by yourselves?
20:15Yeah.
20:19If you want me to help you, I'll help you.
20:24Okay.
20:26But if you're asking for my help, we gotta do it my way.
20:30Because it's the right way.
20:32All right.
20:33With the yellow.
20:35I said with the yellow.
20:36And nobody tells me what to do.
20:39I get to be in charge.
20:40I get to be the boss.
20:42All right?
20:43All right, Dad.
20:43You're the boss.
20:44I'm the boss?
20:46Yes.
20:47Good.
20:47You're fired.
21:00How come Robert gets to use the power painter?
21:03You know, I want to use the power painter, too.
21:05Learn how to handle a brush first.
21:07Learn how to handle a brush.
21:09Are you questioning me?
21:12No.
21:12No.
21:14Sir.
21:15Sir.
21:34Let's go.
21:36Let's go.
21:37Let's go.
21:50That's going to need another coat.
22:07That's going to need another coat.
22:12Let's go.
Comments