- 2 days ago
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FunTranscript
00:03oh honey you look so beautiful okay so you go wait out in the car and daddy
00:09you'll be right out all right bye mommy sweetie oh Ray what are you doing can't
00:20you take her to this thing because it's a father-daughter dance
00:27father-daughter poker night at the racetrack you know what I would love ask one of the
00:33other fathers to film you two dancing oh fast and slow and stay the full two hours
00:51watch me daddy
00:57that's good what'd you learn now I don't know
01:00what are you like 21 22 now I'm nine oh right nine yeah
01:10good
01:10good
01:10good
01:10good
01:10good
01:46Hello, Raymond.
01:47Want to make a baby?
01:57Oh, really, Ray, again?
02:12Oh, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
02:14Uh-huh.
02:17Dev, Dev, just wait a minute.
02:19Wait a minute.
02:20What?
02:20Well, we've been having sex every day for the last three months.
02:27I'm starting to feel like a piece of meat.
02:37Okay.
02:43Boy, you really want a kid, huh?
02:45What do you mean?
02:46Don't you?
02:47Yeah, you know.
02:49Huh?
02:49I don't know.
02:51Well, what?
02:52I mean, wasn't this the plan?
02:55We've been trying for three months.
02:57Aren't you the one that said you wanted a little Ray or Raymona?
03:05Yeah.
03:07Yeah.
03:08I don't know.
03:11What are you saying?
03:13You don't want to have kids?
03:15Does it have to be right this second?
03:18I can't believe you're telling me this now.
03:22You just don't want responsibility.
03:24That's what this is about.
03:25You're a baby.
03:26Yes, and you know what they say about babies having babies.
03:29It's a crisis.
03:33Oh, my God.
03:34This is all I've thought about for a year.
03:38Well, maybe you should develop some other interest.
03:41Look, what?
03:42Stop.
03:42Look, all I'm saying is you shouldn't get so nutty about being pregnant.
03:46Well, why the hell not?
03:47Well, first of all, the language.
03:49Not really for children.
03:51Let's just let it happen, okay?
03:53If it happens, then it happens.
03:54No, no, no.
03:54You have to keep at it.
03:56There's only so many days per month.
03:58I'm just saying that we shouldn't get our hopes up, okay?
04:00In case...
04:04You know...
04:06Whatever.
04:15Ray, you do know that three months of trying isn't that long, right?
04:19Yeah, don't look at me only once.
04:21Oh, sweetie.
04:23It's normal.
04:25Really.
04:27I don't know.
04:29I got this feeling.
04:31Yeah, a feeling?
04:33Three months.
04:35We should have had a kid already.
04:38No.
04:39Listen, Ray, I'm telling you.
04:42Look, my father said some stuff, okay?
04:44Us barones, we're supposed to be really virial.
04:47I mean, I should have...
04:49I should have been able to impregnate you by now.
04:52Your dad said that?
04:53He said knock you up, but yeah.
05:01Ray, look.
05:02Honey, my gynecologist said that it might take several months...
05:07to knock me up.
05:11Oh, honey, you have nothing to worry about.
05:15We have nothing to worry about.
05:23I guess if it's a girl, it doesn't have to be Ray Mona.
05:26I also like Alexandra.
05:30Allie.
05:32Yeah.
05:33I like that.
05:42My father's an idiot.
05:45Yeah, yeah.
05:45No, I could use less of a Frank image right now.
05:55Oh, hi, Marie.
05:57Hi, dear.
05:58Hi.
05:59Come on in.
05:59Ray's not even home yet.
06:00Frank and Robert still parking?
06:02Oh, Frank's looking for a broken meter.
06:04If Robert wasn't with him, he'd break one himself.
06:06No.
06:08I made you some appetizers for tonight.
06:10I hope you don't mind, dear.
06:12Oh, please.
06:12Anytime you want to come over with food, you're more than welcome.
06:15Oh, yeah.
06:18So, how have you been?
06:19Good.
06:20And you?
06:20Good.
06:22You're pregnant.
06:25No, I'm not.
06:26Yes, you are.
06:27Yes, I am.
06:39Oh, I am so happy for you.
06:41Oh, I'm so happy.
06:42When did you find out?
06:44Today.
06:44I haven't even told Ray yet.
06:46You haven't?
06:46Oh, how exciting.
06:48Oh, you're going to make such a good mother.
06:50Oh, you're going to be such a good grandmother.
06:52I know.
06:56Good night.
07:07So, you found a parking space, Frank?
07:10I hate all these damn fire hydrants.
07:13I'm glad dogs pee on them.
07:22Sorry about that, Frank.
07:24Well, damn fire hydrants.
07:28So, how are you doing, Robert?
07:29Oh, actually, I'm doing good.
07:31I met a girl.
07:33Oh, really?
07:34What's her name?
07:35Joanne.
07:37Oh, she's great.
07:40We've only been out one time, but I really think that this...
07:42Deborah's pregnant!
07:45It's true, it's true, it's true.
07:47It's just a problem.
07:52Now I feel bad going on about not being able to park, but...
07:57Uncle Robert.
07:58Yeah?
07:58No, no, no.
07:59Uncle Bobby, yes.
08:00Hey, Uncle Bobby, what's up?
08:02I'm nothing much, kid.
08:03I just don't care.
08:05Okay, so listen, listen, listen.
08:07Ray doesn't know yet.
08:08So, when he gets home, you have to let me...
08:10Raymond!
08:11My beautiful boy!
08:14Hey.
08:18So, how was work?
08:19Oh, God.
08:20My editor is such an idiot.
08:21Okay, so you had a bad day.
08:23But how about everybody else?
08:25I mean, your father's fine, and I'm fine.
08:27And Robert's the same as always.
08:32But how...
08:33How was your day, Deborah, huh?
08:35Yeah, it was okay, Marie.
08:38You okay, Mom?
08:39Yes.
08:39But the question is, how is Deborah?
08:47What's going on?
08:48Nothing.
08:48What?
08:49You know what, Marie?
08:50Why don't you go break out your appetizers?
08:51Yeah, Mom, go get those.
08:53Okay, okay.
08:53But nobody talk until I get back, all right?
08:56Oh, and in fact, you know what's a fun game to play?
08:59Silent Indian.
09:00The no-talking game.
09:01Play that.
09:04Hey, what?
09:05What are you doing?
09:07What?
09:07Deborah, what?
09:08What the hell?
09:09Ray, our first few years together have been a joy to me.
09:14Hey, what are you two doing out there?
09:16What are you doing?
09:19And I think of our life together as a journey.
09:25Watch your appetizers.
09:28I've had a great journey.
09:30And that along this path, we would share many joyful moments together.
09:39Moments that we will remember all of.
09:42Okay!
09:42Hey!
09:44I'm pregnant!
09:46What?
09:51Pregnant!
09:51Deborah's pregnant!
09:53Pregnant!
09:55Pregnant!
09:57Pregnant!
09:57Pregnant!
10:09Pregnant!
10:11Oh, no, thanks. I'm not hungry, Marie.
10:12Hit me. I'm open.
10:15But your baby's just three weeks away. You need your strength.
10:18I know, but I told you the doctor said I shouldn't be eating anything heavy.
10:22So you're just going to do everything the doctor says?
10:25When I was with child, I ate three healthy meals a day.
10:29And look how my boys turned out.
10:31Stop eating immediately.
10:35I thought some motherly wisdom would be appreciated, but I guess I'm not worth it.
10:39Okay. I'll eat it. Thank you. Thank you.
10:42No trouble, dear. I'm going to make you some tea.
10:45Pregnant women love tea.
10:49Come out!
10:53Come out!
11:09No, no. I got it.
11:13Huh? What was that? What?
11:15Nothing.
11:16I'm going to go to the bathroom.
11:18Hey. Hurry back, Mommy Cakes.
11:28Hey. Okay.
11:30I've got some big news, and I wanted to tell you guys first.
11:34All right.
11:38I've been dating Joanne for about six months now,
11:40and I think that I just might have found my Deborah.
11:43So after careful deliberation,
11:44I have decided that I'm going to ask her...
11:46My water just broke.
11:47What? Holy crap.
11:52Come on.
11:53Are you sure?
11:55Very, very, very much so.
11:56What?
11:57No, no, no.
11:58The book says this stuff ain't supposed to happen for, like, three weeks now.
12:01Oh, really? Let me see that.
12:02My water just broke, Ray!
12:04I thought the pains in my back were from your mother,
12:07but apparently they're contra...
12:09Oh, can't...
12:10Contra...
12:10You're having contra...
12:12Contraction.
12:13Definitely a contraction.
12:14Are you sure?
12:16Yeah, okay.
12:16Definitely.
12:17Yeah, definitely.
12:18What do you do?
12:19Don't you have to go away from here?
12:22What?
12:22Oh, no.
12:23I don't have a route mapped out to the hospital from here.
12:25All right.
12:25Shh.
12:26Quiet.
12:27I don't want Marie to know.
12:28Let's just get out of here.
12:29What?
12:29What are you...
12:30Whoa, whoa, whoa.
12:30You're not going to tell my mother?
12:31Look, after we're in the hospital
12:32and we're well underway,
12:33then you can tell her.
12:34What's well underway?
12:36Kindergarten.
12:36Oh, I don't want her in my delivery room.
12:40Well, maybe she could just bring cookies.
12:41I am going to bite your nose right off.
12:45Maybe you give us a head start, okay?
12:47Come on.
12:48Easy, easy, easy.
12:51What's going on?
12:53Nothing.
12:54Ray and I were just thinking of taking a little walk.
12:57Right, Ray?
12:57We're just going to take a walk around the block.
13:01Robert, you want to come with us?
13:02I don't know.
13:02Do I?
13:05I just thought that since you're a cop,
13:06maybe we could walk a little faster,
13:08like right through the red lights.
13:11Since you're a cop.
13:14Oh, yeah, right.
13:17Why, wait, wait.
13:18Let me get my jacket.
13:19No, no, no.
13:20Go, go, go.
13:21No.
13:22Go, go.
13:24You should go off.
13:27I don't know.
13:27Why don't you just stay?
13:28Why don't you just stay?
13:29Well, why would I do that?
13:31Because, because, uh, oh, hi, honey.
13:34Mwah, yeah.
13:36Mom.
13:37But, uh, Marie, uh, uh, you should stay here.
13:42Why, Frank?
13:44Because...
13:47Then you and I could have some...
13:55...alone time.
13:59Really?
14:02Okay.
14:04Well, I guess we'll see you kids in a while.
14:07Okay.
14:07All right.
14:10I hope everybody remembers this moment
14:12when it's time to name the baby.
14:17Oh, my.
14:18Wait a minute, Robert.
14:19Which way are you going?
14:20This is the L.I.E.
14:20I said to take the print.
14:22Look, I know what I'm doing.
14:23I mean, I...
14:24Uh-oh.
14:26What?
14:27Uh-oh.
14:27Why, uh-oh?
14:29Uh, uh, well, there seems to be a little traffic.
14:34Traffic!
14:35Traffic!
14:36Bridge!
14:36I said the bridge!
14:37All right.
14:38There must be an accident up ahead.
14:40Well, go around him.
14:42Just put your siren on.
14:43There's no room to move.
14:44A siren would just annoy people.
14:46Oh.
14:47Maybe the bridge would have been faster.
14:49Would have been faster to put a stamp on her butt and mail her.
14:57Oh, my God.
14:58Oh, what, what, what?
14:59Oh, what?
15:00Oh, the baby is coming right now.
15:02Oh, my God.
15:03Keep your legs together.
15:04Oh, my God.
15:05Oh, this is it.
15:07This is it.
15:08Oh.
15:08It's not just love as a maroon.
15:09I'm on the L.I.E.
15:10I got a woman in labor.
15:11I did an ambulance on the Woodhaven exit all day.
15:17What are you doing?
15:18Where are you going?
15:18Oh.
15:19I don't know.
15:20What are you doing?
15:21If need be, I'm delivering this baby.
15:23No, you're not a doctor.
15:24Raymond, I've had training in emergency child deliveries.
15:27No, no, no.
15:27I don't care.
15:28I don't care.
15:28You don't talk anymore.
15:29More.
15:30Come on.
15:30Come in here.
15:31Come in here.
15:31Oh.
15:33Oh.
15:37Oh.
15:37Oh.
15:38Oh.
15:38Oh.
15:40Oh.
15:41Oh.
15:43Oh.
15:44Oh.
15:45Oh.
15:46Oh.
15:47Oh.
15:58Holy Moses.
16:02What are you looking at?
16:03I'm waiting for the baby, Raymond.
16:05Your eyes got to be so open.
16:08All right.
16:08I'm going to need something to wrap the baby in.
16:10Raymond, give me your shirt.
16:11What?
16:11No, no, no, no.
16:13Punch him and take that shirt, Robert.
16:14All right, all right, all right.
16:15All right, man, this is not a right.
16:18This is against God.
16:20Now, shall not look at thy brother's wife there.
16:24That's not a commandment.
16:25It didn't have to be a commandment.
16:27It's so bad, God just figured that it was understood.
16:33Ray, Ray, where's my relaxation music?
16:35I don't have the tape, honey.
16:37Honey, I need my music.
16:38I don't have the tape.
16:38I gotta have my music!
16:40You are the sunshine of my life.
16:43Whoa, that's why I'll always be around.
16:47You're looking too much.
16:48You are the apple of my life.
16:50Stop it!
16:51Stop it!
16:52He's delivering our child.
16:53All right, we'll deliver her, Ray.
16:55They start delivering.
16:56Well, actually, Debra, you're not set to pop.
17:00What do you mean?
17:02Well, I don't think I'm seeing what I'm supposed to be seeing.
17:05What do you mean?
17:06You're seeing everything.
17:09What else are you supposed to see?
17:11A head!
17:20You know, maybe it's not hurting so much anymore.
17:26Well, you stop looking, then.
17:27Stop looking!
17:56I think I'll go back.
17:57I'll go back up there and wait for the traffic to start moving.
18:02In case the traffic starts moving.
18:22Sorry.
18:32Sorry.
18:33I'll go back up there, everybody.
18:42Oh, you did great, honey.
18:44Just great.
18:45Thanks.
18:46Here you go, Ray.
18:48There's your little girl.
18:50Oh, right.
18:58Oh, look at me.
19:07Hiya, Allie.
19:13Excuse me.
19:15We can't hold your mother back any longer.
19:21She just turned over a gurney.
19:27Okay, let him in.
19:30We should keep the baby between us and her like a shield.
19:36Oh, look at him.
19:38Oh, boy.
19:39There she is.
19:40There she is.
19:43The fountain of youth.
19:44I'm sucking in that youth.
19:47Oh, man, is that great stuff.
19:51Ma, you want to see the baby?
19:53I see her.
19:56Very nice.
20:03Marie, I want you to hold her.
20:05No, no.
20:06It's fine.
20:07I know my place.
20:11Give her to me.
20:15Oh, Allie, sweet baby.
20:18Grandma, I see you.
20:20Okay, we're going to need a little privacy now.
20:22It's time for our first breastfeeding lesson.
20:24Oh, okay, guys.
20:27Oh, well, it's real.
20:30I'll come back.
20:31I'll see you soon.
20:33Okay.
20:34Bye.
20:35You guys downstairs.
20:37Do I have to go?
20:38Because I already...
20:39You've seen enough.
20:40I'll see you soon.
20:41Bye.
20:42Bye.
20:53Bye.
20:53Bye.
20:53Bye.
20:54Bye.
20:54Bye.
20:54Bye.
20:54Bye.
20:54Bye.
20:54Bye.
20:56Bye.
20:56Bye.
21:02Bye.
21:11Do you want to go home now?
21:13No, no, we can stay.
21:21Want to dance with me?
21:22That's okay.
21:23You don't like the slow songs.
21:25No, I want to.
21:30It's going fast enough.
21:36It's going fast enough.
22:14It's going fast enough.
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