Black Adder is pure British comedy gold 😂 From Rowan Atkinson’s legendary sarcasm to the chaotic historical disasters, every season delivers iconic humor, savage wit, and unforgettable moments. Whether it’s medieval schemes, royal disasters, or war-time satire, Black Adder remains one of the greatest comedy series ever made. 🇬🇧🔥
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00:28For more information visit www.fema.org
02:30You may go now.
02:31I believe you've got some other duties to attend to.
02:35Oh, yes.
02:37Excuse me, please, everybody.
03:07Sorry.
03:09Thank you, darling.
03:09Yeah.
03:10Because I've just built one.
03:12Stuff and stunts.
03:14I've heard some rubbish in my time.
03:17Every time I open my mouth, as a matter of fact.
03:19But a time machine?
03:21It's just cobblers.
03:22I can assure you it is not.
03:24This is an original sketchbook by Leonardo da Vinci.
03:28And in the last year, I myself have built a time machine to his exact specifications.
03:34Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest breakthrough in travel since Mr. Rodney Tricycle thought to himself,
03:40I'm bored with walking.
03:42I think I'll invent a machine with three wheels and a bell and name it after myself.
03:47Behold, the time machine.
03:53Well, glaze my nipples and call me Rita.
03:56It can't be real, Blackadder. It's a practical joke, surely.
03:59Certainly not.
04:00When was the last time I played a practical joke?
04:02Well, there was the time you said you were dying of kidney failure,
04:04and I donated one of my kidneys to save your life,
04:07and then you said it was an April Fool and we had to throw my kidney away.
04:12Well, yes, there has been the odd, hilarious, practical joke.
04:16But not this time.
04:18This is a working time machine.
04:20And to prove it, I suggest a wager.
04:24I will bet you each ten thousand pounds that I can travel through time
04:30and bring back any items of historical interest which you choose to nominate.
04:37Darling?
04:38Well, yes, all right.
04:39Yes, if you can travel through time, I'll pay up.
04:43So long as you bring back with you a genuine Roman centurion's helmet.
04:48Very well.
04:50A Roman centurion's helmet.
04:53No, no, that's much too easy.
04:55What about the actual Wellingtons actually worn by Wellington?
05:00On the day he won the Battle of Waterloo.
05:03Lady Elizabeth would like the actual Wellingtons worn by the Duke of Wellington
05:07on the day he won the Battle of Waterloo.
05:11Anyone else?
05:12Oh, yes.
05:13Oh, yes.
05:14Ah, yes, I've got one.
05:14I want you to get, I'd like to see you get your hands on these,
05:18an ancient, reeking, stinking pair of 200-year-old underpants.
05:2318th century body-huggers, that's the ticket.
05:30Very well.
05:31I shall be on my way.
05:32This will, of course, take no time at all in your time.
05:35I shall merely step in, there will be a momentary shuddering,
05:38and I will emerge triumphant.
05:43Farewell, dear friends.
05:48Well done, Baldus, this is very impressive.
05:50I'm sorry that I didn't have time to build it myself.
05:52Don't worry, my lord, I followed Mr. Da Vinci's instructions to the letter.
05:56Even though you can't actually read.
05:58That's right, my lord.
05:59But I have done a lot of airfix modules in my time.
06:02Right, so look at the Centurion's helmet.
06:04Very good.
06:06And the boots.
06:07Excellent.
06:09The underpants, where are the underpants?
06:10Oh, here you are, my lord.
06:12They're my very best pair.
06:14And, coincidentally, all some are very worst.
06:17So they are, in fact, your only pair of underpants.
06:19That's right, my lord.
06:21Oh!
06:22I took a slip of the bag!
06:24Oh, my god!
06:25Oh!
06:30Right, let's get all this stuff going, shall we?
06:33Right, my lord.
06:34Yes.
06:36Right.
06:37I'll shake it about a bit.
06:39Make it look real.
06:40The best New Year's Eve prank ever.
06:48Here we go.
06:49You hide there.
06:51£30,000.
06:52Here I come.
06:59Right.
07:01Interesting.
07:02What's happening, my lord?
07:04Well.
07:07For God's sake, do something, Baldrick.
07:12Something useful.
07:14Something just throw.
07:15Shoot, go on, go away.
07:18No!
07:20Soccer-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow
07:37-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow-cow...
07:56fascinating one of history's great mysteries solved the dinosaurs were in fact wiped out
08:03by your parents well this is a turnip for the books you have built a working time machine
08:11and are therefore rather surprisingly the greatest genius who has ever lived
08:15thank you very much my lord right let's get out of here shall we no problem my lord
08:26can you set the date so we can get home yes turn that there pull that there we set that
08:31there
08:32pull this lever like that and the date should come up but unfortunately it doesn't because i was going
08:39to write the numbers on in felt tip pen but i never got around to it right
08:45so the date we're heading for is two watermelons and a bunch of cherries that's right my lord
08:51in other words we can't get home not as such excellent
08:59rather a spectacular return to form after the genius moment waldrick
09:05still i think someone with common sense ought to be able to resolve this all we've got to do is
09:09put
09:09these controls back to where they were when we first set off i think that was about there
09:19and that should get us home excellent you threw away our winning items waldrick but at least we're home
09:32typical they must have got bored and gone back for pudding
09:39right now you're not going to believe that
09:51elizabeth
09:52the first
09:54you're wearing very weird clothes
09:57and you're looking rather old and ugly actually
10:00is that right
10:01of course it's right i'm always right
10:03of course it's right
10:05belchy
10:06ma'am
10:06edmund has been very cheeky
10:08shall i laugh at him or chop his ugly head off
10:12well one hates to be harsh ma'am but i do think a bit of choppy choppy is the only
10:16apt reaction
10:17very well
10:18kill him
10:21unless of course eddie you've got a present for me
10:25uh a present
10:28um yes certainly your majesty
10:31a present
10:33um
10:34uh
10:36quickly getting bored now
10:38ah
10:38yes
10:39now
10:41now
10:42these may not look much
10:44they don't
10:45no
10:46but um
10:47um
10:48well
10:48well let's say
10:50let's say
10:51let's say that there was a place
10:53where you could buy absolutely everything
10:55we already have those blackadder and they're called markets
10:59oh right
11:00right
11:00well imagine that
11:02but times ten
11:03as it were a super market
11:06now if you gave someone at one of these super markets
11:10this
11:12he would give you
11:14some bonus points
11:17which would mean
11:19that once a month
11:20you could buy a tin of baked beans
11:23at half the normal price
11:26kill him
11:27no
11:28no
11:28no
11:29no
11:29no
11:29no
11:29no
11:29no
11:29no
11:30no
11:30oh
11:34they're just sort of sweet
11:36minty things
11:38i want one
11:40yes
11:41yes
11:44oh
11:45it's got a hole in it
11:46no
11:47they're meant to be like that
11:48oh
11:48that's how they're made
12:00you are so naughty
12:03it's the tastiest thing in the history of the world
12:07try one melchie
12:09for the sake
12:10oh yes indeed ma'am
12:12most pleasant
12:13this is incredible
12:15because do you know this melchie
12:16the way it usually smells so bad it's like you've eaten a hell's dope for your breakfast
12:20well i am aware i have a less than orthodox mouthful odor ma'am yes
12:24yes well
12:25you don't smell like that anymore
12:26you smell absolutely yummy now
12:28i'm not at all like a turd
12:30ah what a pity
12:32well done blackie
12:34here
12:35take this
12:36you sexy blood
12:39oh
12:40uh thank you ma'am
12:41now
12:42go forth
12:44and bring back lots more
12:46minty things
12:47in the next five minutes
12:49or i'll come after you
12:51and crush your skull like an egg
12:55certainly your majesty
12:56i'll be right back
12:57thank you very much
12:58thank you
13:05oh
13:05oh i'm
13:06i'm so sorry
13:07i am sorry
13:10wait a minute
13:12you're not will shakespeare yes
13:14don't say it i know
13:15you hated two gentlemen of verona
13:17this one's much better
13:18well
13:19bugger my giddy aunt
13:21you couldn't just
13:23sign something
13:24for me could you
13:25well certainly
13:26uh sorry sister biro
13:35thank you
13:36oh and just one more thing
13:38yeah
13:40that is for every schoolboy and schoolgirl
13:42for the next 400 years
13:45have you any idea
13:46how much suffering
13:48you're going to cause
13:49hours spent at school desks
13:51trying to find one joke
13:53in a midsummer night's dream
13:56years wearing stupid tights
13:58in school plays
13:59and saying things like
14:01what ho my lord
14:02and oh look
14:03here comes othello
14:03talking total crap as usual
14:06oh and
14:07ow
14:08that is for ken branner's endless uncut
14:12four hour version of hamlet
14:16who's ken branner
14:18i'll tell him you said that
14:20and i think
14:20he'll be very hurt
14:27right let's get out of here boulders
14:28certainly my lord
14:29by the way
14:30if we're lucky enough to get out of this alive
14:32yes my lord
14:32remind me to kill you will you
14:34oh all right my lord
14:35now it was down here when we're at the dinosaurs
14:38it's in the middle now
14:39so why don't we try it here
14:43should do the trick
14:47uh yes i suspect that's a little too far for
14:50oh god where are we now
15:03oh dear
15:04you think it's safe
15:06i don't know
15:07does this look like a dangerous place to you boulders
15:10this empty wood
15:18well well
15:19what have we here my tough band of freedom fighters
15:22who have good muscle tone and aren't gay
15:24oh god
15:35good lads we've captured lord blackadder
15:39wait a minute
15:41are you robin hood
15:44am i robin hood
15:45is will scarlet a puffin tights
15:49is friar turk a fat tub of lard with a ridiculous haircut
15:54is made marion a hot little honey with thighs like two halves of a nutcracker
15:59yes i am
16:01yes i am
16:01yes i am
16:05oh yes it's nice to meet you at last
16:09because there's one question i've always wanted to ask you
16:12fire away one final question before i impale you with my magnificent weapon
16:16and i'm not talking about my enormous
16:18yes i know you're not
16:18all right sorry
16:19what puzzles me is this
16:21you rob from the rich
16:23yes
16:24that's right yeah
16:25and then when you've robbed the rich
16:27you give it all
16:29to the poor
16:30yes
16:30i love giving it to the poor
16:33woof
16:34woof
16:35now that's the bit i don't understand
16:38you men risk your lives in combat
16:41yes
16:42you risk certain death
16:44if you're caught
16:45yes
16:46you live here in this forest in total squalor
16:51i mean i'd hate to think what the toilet facilities are like around here
16:54not very nice actually
16:56and yet you still give every single penny to these
17:01so-called poor
17:02who just sit on their backsides all day
17:06all right shut up now
17:07laughing at you saying
17:09oh no need to go to work today
17:10robin hood and his merry men will be along in a minute with a big pile of cash
17:13i said shut up
17:15i'm surprised they don't call you robin hood and his bunch of complete lunatics
17:21right that is it
17:23shoot him boys i'm great and he's not
17:25robin hood and his band of merry morons
17:29ready
17:29ready
17:31ready
17:31aim
17:35fire
17:35fire
17:43can i say that i think you made the right decision
17:45so do i
17:46gorgeous
17:47ding
17:49door
17:54well
17:55maid marion was pretty friendly
17:57so was will starlet
17:59really nice guy
18:02still the sooner we get home the better
18:04we've started to affect history and that's dangerous
18:07we've already wiped out the dinosaurs and killed robin hood
18:10god only knows what's going to happen next time
18:23my lord emperor
18:24i the duke the darling bring news
18:27the english have reached waterloo
18:30good prepare to attack
18:31very well
18:33but first i would like to ask
18:35why do we want to invade britain in the first place
18:38i mean their wine is made of the peepee of cows
18:41and their women all have big beards
18:43we invade darling
18:45because the british think they are so tough
18:47they think we french are sissies
18:49they call us weeds and whoopsies and big girls blouses
18:52with respect my emperor
18:54we are whoopsies
18:55we invented the tapestry
18:57the souffle and the sweet liqueur
18:59we will be slaughtered the minute we mince up the hill
19:03do not despair
19:03it is my firm belief that god hates the british
19:07he will intervene miraculously
19:09and send us a glorious victory on this field of waterloo
19:13oh bravo
19:16the lovely uniform today by the way
19:18oh thank you i think it works
19:28your grace the french are approaching
19:30excellent i have a superb plan which cannot fail
19:32but results in the complete destruction of the french army
19:36splendid well tell me at once your grace and i'll spread the news to the truth
19:38very well the plan is
19:40god i'm brilliant you know i surprise myself sometimes i really do
19:43yes the plan is
19:45yes to allow the french to come within a hundred yards of us and then
19:48and this is the completely original and brilliant part
19:51yes
19:52then
19:54your grace
19:58the duke of wellington is dead
20:01whoops
20:02alas
20:03alas
20:04without the plan the day is lost
20:07pardon me
20:11thanks very much
20:13may as well try and win that cash anyway
20:18why don't we try pressing this button
20:24well fingers crossed
20:29what can you see borders
20:31people in very short skirts my lord
20:34ah excellent the 1960s at last we're getting close
20:38i might stay a while actually for a bit of hippie free love
20:42not that free love would make a lot of difference to you would it boulders
20:45i mean what would a sheep do with money
20:47not girls in skirts my lord men
20:50ah spandau ballet 1983
20:52i think not my lord
20:55but
21:00romans
21:00we're still centuries out
21:02come on let's go
21:04although i might just steal myself a roman helmet while we're here
21:09that's interesting
21:10the machine seems to be seeking out our dna across time
21:13just brilliant
21:14what our centurion
21:16we're facing a horde of ginger maniacs
21:18with wild goats nesting in their huge orange beards
21:21or to put it another way
21:23the scots
21:24and how does our inspired leader hadrian
21:27intend to keep out this vast army of lunatics
21:29by building a three foot high wall
21:33a terrifying obstacle
21:34about as frightening as a little rabbit with the word boo painted on its nose
21:39ooh
21:40oh come now centurion i won't have that
21:43this wall is a terrific defense mechanism
21:45why surely not suggesting that a rabble of scots could get the better of roman soldiers
21:55welcome general
21:56splendid
21:59good to see you practicing your english
22:01georgias
22:20did you hear that boulders
22:22i certainly did oh centurion
22:24back to rome at last
22:26say this is interesting
22:28there appears to be a large orange hedge moving towards us
22:33that's not a hedge consul
22:35that's the scots
22:49perhaps we could negotiate
22:51last one there gets hacked to pieces by rod stewart's great great grandfather
23:04let's get home
23:05we don't know where home is
23:07we're doomed to float through time for all time
23:12oh woe is me
23:15shut up boulders shut up
23:17there is one final thing to push which may be our salvation
23:21or not because it is in fact a lollipop
23:25raspberry flavored my lord
23:27oh god
23:29i'm gonna spend the rest of my life in a small wooden room with two toilets and the stupidest man
23:36in the world
23:37wait my lord do not despair
23:39can i say i'm not optimistic
23:47to be quite frank my lord neither am i my family have never been very good at plans
23:53so with suitably low expectations what is your cunning plan to get us home
23:57well my lord you know how when people drown their whole life flashes in front of them
24:03yes
24:04well if you stuck your head in a bucket of water
24:08and didn't bring it out again
24:09then your whole life would flash in front of you
24:12and you'd see where all the knobs and levers were when we first set off
24:16and then if you pulled your head out again
24:19just before you died
24:21you could guide us home
24:24Aldrich
24:25my lord
24:27good plan
24:28with perhaps just one tiny modification
24:40how's it going
24:41i'm 18 years old
24:42i've just left nursery school
24:43okie dokie
24:52i'm 25
24:53i'm back at nursery school
25:11got it
25:12very good
25:12i wish
25:14i wish i flushed the loo first
25:18ah yeah
25:20as we approach the end my lord
25:23what do you think we've learnt on our great journey
25:26good question
25:27baldrick
25:28i suppose i've learnt that i must buy you a much stronger mouthwash for christmas this year
25:33how about you
25:34oh i don't know
25:36i suppose i've learnt that human beings have always been the same
25:39some nice some nasty
25:41some clever some stupid
25:43there's always a blackadder and there's always a baldrick
25:46yes very profound baldrick
25:48also it occurs to me
25:50oh god there's not more is there
25:51if you're in the right place at the right time
25:54then every person has the power to go out
25:57and change the world for the better
25:59god you really are as thick as clotted cream
26:03that's been left out by some clot
26:06until the clots are so clotted up
26:08you couldn't unclot them with an electric declotter
26:11aren't you baldrick
26:13real change comes from huge socio-economic things that individuals have no effect on
26:19unless you're king or prime minister or something
26:21oh yes i suppose they can make a difference
26:23but for the rest of us
26:25all we can do in life is to try to make a bit of cash
26:30which is what i intend to do right now
26:32hang on
26:35did you see
26:36good lord blackadder what happened there
26:39yes everything went sort of squiggly
26:41i have in fact returned from the past
26:45you surely don't expect us to believe that blackadder
26:47clearly that was all some sort of cheap conjuring trick
26:50on the contrary darling
26:54oh bravo with big brass bells on
26:57and as a little bonus
26:59the crown of queen elizabeth the first of england
27:06well done blackadder
27:08but tell me all this stuff about changing history with time travel
27:12you must have had to be damn some careful
27:14oh i was very careful
27:16so blackadder tell us did you did you hang out with any you know big time celebs
27:20well yes actually for example this belonged to none other than robin hood
27:25who
27:27robin hood
27:27never heard of him
27:29you'll have to do better than that blackadder
27:31right
27:32so you've never heard of robin hood
27:35no
27:36well this is the title page for macbeth
27:40signed by shakespeare himself
27:44oh no no no no come on you've heard of shakespeare
27:46he's the fellow who invented the ballpoint pen
27:49oh yes well i might have had an effect on one or two things but nothing important
27:54well never mind blackadder you've certainly won your bet
27:57so here's your 10 000 francs and jolly well deserved to
28:01what do you mean francs what do you mean what do i mean francs
28:06well surely you mean 10 000 pounds
28:11we haven't used those for 200 years not since the emperor napoleon won the battle of waterloo
28:16which reminds me it's time for us to get to the television
28:19monsieur le président will be broadcasting from versailles any moment
28:22are you coming
28:24uh no i might just go on one final little trip
28:27oh no don't go you haven't had a bite of the delicious garlic pudding
28:31after which i'm going to do
28:33a petit peu de ballet
28:40right that's it
28:43come on molars
28:45we've got to save britain
28:53i thought i'd just drop in to wish you good luck with the battle
28:56you can't lose
28:58hello darling
29:04there's one question i've always wanted to ask you
29:07yes
29:07how come you're so great
29:11because i'm mean
29:15i'm a very big fan bill
29:16thank you keep up the good work
29:18king lear
29:20very funny
29:27good lord what happened there
29:33and here a front page of macbeth
29:35signed by shakespeare himself
29:38oh my god
29:40that's better
29:41well done blackadder
29:43but what about all this stuff about changing history through time travel
29:47you must have had to be damn some careful
29:49oh i was
29:50very very careful
29:53intriguing thought actually isn't it
29:55you know
29:55the smallest thing can change history
29:57imagine if wellington had died before the battle of waterloo
29:59we'd all be french
30:00or if someone hadn't invented deodorant
30:02we'd all be smelly
30:03the tiniest thing can affect the course of human history
30:07think what turmoil an unscrupulous person could wreak
30:11yes
30:14could you excuse me
30:15for just five seconds
30:17yeah absolutely
30:19why don't you just go upstairs and watch television
30:22i'll be back very very soon
30:24splendid but do hurry blackadder
30:26don't want to miss the big shindig at midnight
30:28don't worry
30:29i'll be back
30:32walrick
30:33i have a very very very cunning plan
30:36is it as cunning as a fox
30:38what used to be professor of cunning at oxford university
30:41but has moved on
30:42and is now working for the un
30:44at the high commission of international cunning planning
30:47yes it is
30:49hmm
30:51that's cunning
30:57right here goes
30:58and now excitement is reaching fever pitch
31:01as the final guests of honour arrive
31:03at the down room
31:04many of the crowds have been here for up to 36 hours
31:07waiting for this moment
31:08and i'm sure they won't be disappointed
31:12as the great car sweeps into view
31:14because here at last is
31:17the king himself
31:18king edmund the third
31:20universally loved
31:2198% approval rating
31:23across the country
31:24and with him his gorgeous new bride
31:27queen marion of sherwood
31:28the nation's most famous beauty
31:30beloved by all
31:32and here to greet them is the prime minister
31:34unmarried of course
31:36but now entering his fifth term of office
31:38the relationship between the king
31:40and his first minister
31:41particularly close nowadays
31:43since the dissolution of parliament
31:45two years ago
31:46and what a great partnership
31:48these two have become
31:49leading britain magnificently
31:51into a prosperous and triumphant new millennium
32:05let joy fill every britain's heart
32:10for now our country's going to make it
32:14at last a king who looks the part
32:18at last her queen who looks good naked
32:22black fernard
32:24black fernard
32:27a monarch with a dash
32:30black fernard
32:33black fernard
32:35he's got a nice mustache
32:39everything he wants you get
32:43black fernard
32:44the world is now black fernard's oyster
32:47most prime ministers are wet
32:52but baldrick he's even oyster
32:56black fernard
32:58black fernard
33:00A dog who's got his role
33:04Black man, black man
33:08The master on the throne
33:12Black man, black man
33:17With his feet he churn
33:21Black man, black man
33:25Black man, black man
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