Black Adder is pure British comedy gold 😂 From Rowan Atkinson’s legendary sarcasm to the chaotic historical disasters, every season delivers iconic humor, savage wit, and unforgettable moments. Whether it’s medieval schemes, royal disasters, or war-time satire, Black Adder remains one of the greatest comedy series ever made. 🇬🇧🔥
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00:36Oh! Oh! Oh! Blackadder! Blackadder!
00:40Your Highness.
00:41What time is it?
00:43Three o'clock in the afternoon, Your Highness.
00:45Oh, thank God for that. I thought I'd overslept.
00:48I trust you had a pleasant evening, sir.
00:50Well, no, actually. The most extraordinary thing happened.
00:54Last night I was having a bit of a snack at the naughty Hellfire Club,
00:57and some fellow said that I had the wit and sophistication of a donkey.
01:02Oh, an absurd suggestion, sir.
01:04You're right, it is absurd.
01:05Unless, of course, it was a particularly stupid donkey.
01:10See, if only I'd thought of saying that.
01:13Well, that is so often the way, sir, too late one thinks of what one should have said.
01:16Sir Thomas More, for instance, burned alive for refusing to recant his Catholicism,
01:21must have been kicking himself as the flames licked higher,
01:24that it never occurred to him to say,
01:26I recant my Catholicism.
01:29Well, yes, you see, only the other day, Prime Minister Pitt called me an idle scrounger.
01:34And it wasn't until ages later that I thought how clever it would have been
01:37to have said,
01:38Oh, bugger off, you old fart!
01:41I need to improve my mind, Blackadder.
01:43I want people to say,
01:44That George, why, he's as clever as a stick in a bucket of pig swill.
01:48And how do you suggest this miracle is to be achieved, Your Highness?
01:52Easy!
01:53I shall become best friends with the cleverest man in England.
01:57That renowned brain box, Dr Samuel Johnson,
02:00has asked me to be patron of his new book,
02:02that I intend to accept.
02:03Would this be the long-awaited dictionary, sir?
02:06Who cares about the title, as long as there's plenty of juicy murders in it?
02:09I hear it's a masterpiece.
02:11No, sir, it is not.
02:12It's the most pointless book since How to Learn French was translated into French.
02:19You haven't got anything personal against Johnson, have you, Blackadder?
02:23Good Lord, sir, not at all.
02:25In fact, I'd never heard of him until you mentioned him just now.
02:28But you do think he's a genius?
02:30No, sir, I do not.
02:32Unless, of course, the definition of genius in his ridiculous dictionary
02:35is a fat dumbard or wobblebottom.
02:39A pompous ass with sweaty dewflap.
02:44Well, close shave there, then.
02:47Lucky you warned me.
02:48I was about to embrace this unholy arse to the royal bosom.
02:51I'm delighted to have been instrumental in keeping your bosom free of arses.
02:57Bravo!
02:58Don't want to waste my valuable time with wobblebottoms.
03:01A fraction tea, will you, Blackadder?
03:02Certainly, sir.
03:02Oh, and make it two cups, William.
03:04That splendid brain box, Dr Johnson's coming round.
03:12Something wrong, Mr B?
03:14Oh, something's always wrong, Borders.
03:17The fact that I'm not a millionaire aristocrat with the sexual capacity of a rutting rhino
03:22is a constant niggle.
03:24But today, something's even wronger.
03:27That globulus fraud, Dr Johnson, is coming to tea.
03:30I thought he was the cleverest man in England.
03:32Baldrick, I'd bump into cleverer people at a lodge meeting of the Guild of Village Idiots.
03:38That's not what you said when you sent him your navel.
03:41Novel, Baldrick, not navel.
03:44I sent him my novel.
03:47Well, novel or navel, it sounds a bit like a bag of grapefruits to me.
03:51The phrase, Baldrick, is a case of sour grapes.
03:54And yes, it bloody well is.
03:56I mean, he might at least have written back, but no, nothing.
03:59Not even a dear Gertrude Perkins.
04:01Thank you for your book, Get Stuffed, Samuel Johnson.
04:05Gertrude Perkins?
04:06Yes, I gave myself a female pseudonym.
04:09Everybody's doing it these days.
04:11Mrs Radcliffe, Jane Austen.
04:13What, Jane Austen's a man?
04:15Of course.
04:16A huge Yorkshireman with a beard like a rhododendron.
04:20Oh, quite a small one, then.
04:22Well, compared to Dorothy Wordsworth, certainly.
04:25James Boswell is the only real woman writing at the moment.
04:28And that's just because she wants to get inside Johnson's britches.
04:32Perhaps your book really isn't any good.
04:34No, codswallop.
04:36It's taken me seven years and it's perfect.
04:38Edmund, a butler's tale.
04:40A giant rollercoaster of a novel in 400 sizzling chapters.
04:45A searing indictment of domestic servitude in the 18th century
04:49with some hot gypsies thrown in.
04:52My magnum opus, Baldrick.
04:55Everybody has one novel in them and this is mine.
04:57And this is mine.
05:00My magnificent octopus.
05:03This is your novel, Baldrick.
05:05Yeah, I can't stand long books.
05:08Once upon a time there was a lovely little sausage called Baldrick.
05:13And it lived happily ever after.
05:17It's semi-autobiographical.
05:19And it's completely, utterly awful.
05:22Dr Johnson will probably love it.
05:26Oh, speak of the devil.
05:28Well, I'd better go and make the great doctor comfortable.
05:32Let's just see how damn smart Dr Fatty know-it-all really is.
05:37Oh, and prepare a fire for the prince, will you, Baldrick?
05:39What shall I use?
05:41Oh, any old rubbish will do.
05:42The paper's quite good.
05:43Here, try this for starters.
05:48Enter.
05:50Dr Johnson, Your Highness.
05:52Ah, Dr Johnson.
05:53Damn cold day.
05:54Indeed it is, sir, but a verified one.
05:56For I celebrated last night the encyclopedic implementation of my premeditated orchestration of demotic Anglo-Saxon.
06:06Nope, didn't catch any of that.
06:08Well, I simply observed, sir, that I'm felicitous.
06:10Since during the course of the penultimate solar sojourn,
06:13I terminated my uninterrupted categorisation of the vocabulary of our post-Norman tongue.
06:22Oh, I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds damn saucy, you looking thing.
06:26I know some fairly liberal-minded girls, but I've never penultimated any of them in that solar sojourn.
06:32If that might have been given any Norman tongue.
06:37I believe, sir, that the doctor is trying to tell you that he is happy because he has finished his
06:42book.
06:42It has apparently taken him ten years.
06:46Yes, well, I'm a slow reader myself.
06:52Here it is, sir, the very cornerstone of English scholarship.
06:56This book, sir, contains every word in our beloved language.
07:00Oh, every single one, sir?
07:02Every single word, sir.
07:04Well, in that case, sir, I hope you will not object if I also offer the doctor my most enthusiastic
07:09contrafibularities.
07:12What?
07:14Contrafibularities, sir?
07:15It is a common word down our way.
07:18Damn!
07:20Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
07:21I'm anuspeptic.
07:23Prasmotic.
07:26Even compunctuous to have caused you such pericombolation.
07:31What?
07:31What?
07:32What are you all about, Black Panther?
07:33This is all beginning to sound a bit like Dago talked to me.
07:37I'm sorry, sir.
07:38I merely wished to congratulate the doctor on not having left out a single word.
07:43Shall I fetch the tea, Johannes?
07:44Yes, yes.
07:45And get that damn fire up here, will you?
07:47Certainly, sir.
07:48I shall return inter-frastically.
07:54So, Dr Johnson, sit you down.
07:57Now, this book of yours, tell me, what's it all about?
08:00It is a book about the English language, sir.
08:03I see.
08:04And the hero's name is what?
08:07There is no hero, sir.
08:09No hero?
08:10Well, lucky I reminded you.
08:11Better put one in, pronto.
08:13Call him George.
08:15George is a good name for a hero.
08:16Now, what about heroines?
08:18There is no heroine, sir, unless it is our mother tongue.
08:21The mother's the heroine.
08:23Nice twist.
08:24How far have we got, then?
08:25Old mother tongue is in love with George, the hero.
08:28Now, what about murders?
08:30Mother tongue doesn't get murdered, does she?
08:31No, she doesn't.
08:32No one gets murdered, or married, or in a tricky situation over a pound note.
08:37Well, now, look, Dr Johnson, I may be as thick as a whale omelette,
08:41but if I know, a book's got to have a plot.
08:45Not this one, sir.
08:46It is a book that tells you what English words mean.
08:49I know what English words mean.
08:52I speak English.
08:53You must be a bit of a thicko.
08:55Perhaps you would rather not be patron of my book,
08:57if you can see no value in it whatsoever, sir.
08:59Well, perhaps so, sir.
09:00As it sounds to me, as if my being patron of this complete cowpat of a book
09:04will set the seal once and for all on my reputation as an utter turnip head.
09:09Well, it is a reputation well desert, sir.
09:12Farewell.
09:16Leaving already, Doctor?
09:18Not staying for your appendage-statery interludicule?
09:23No, sir.
09:24Shun me out.
09:25Certainly, sir.
09:26Anything I can do to facilitate your velocitous extramuralisation.
09:31You will regret this, doubly, sir.
09:33Not only have you impeculiated my dictionary,
09:36but you have also lost the chance to act as patron
09:39to the only book in the world that is even better.
09:42Oh.
09:42And what is that, sir?
09:44Dictionary two?
09:46The return of the killer dictionary?
09:49No, sir.
09:50It is Edmund, a butler's tale by Gertrude Poets.
09:54A huge rollercoaster of a novel crammed with sizzling gypsies.
10:00Had you supported it, sir, it would have made you and me and Gertrude millionaires.
10:06Millionaires.
10:09But it was not for me, sir.
10:11I fare you well, I shall not return.
10:13Excuse me, sir.
10:15Uh, Dr Johnson.
10:17A word, I beg you.
10:19A word with you, sir, can mean seven million syllables.
10:22You might start now and not be finished by bedtime.
10:25Oh!
10:25Blast my eyes!
10:27In my fury, I have left my dictionary with your foolish master.
10:30Go fetch it, will you?
10:30Sir, the prince is young and foolish, and has a peanut for a brain.
10:36Give me just a few minutes and I will deliver both the book and his patronage.
10:40Oh, will you, sir?
10:41I very much doubt it.
10:43A servant who was an influence for the good is like a dog who speaks.
10:47Very rare.
10:48I think I can change his mind.
10:50Well, I doubt it, sir.
10:52A man who can change a prince's mind is like a dog who speaks Norwegian.
10:56Even rarer.
10:57I shall be at Mrs. Miggins' literary salon in 20 minutes.
11:01Bring the book there.
11:03Your Highness, may I offer my congratulations?
11:05Well, thanks, Black Adam.
11:07That pompous baboon won't be back in a hurry.
11:09Oh, on the contrary, sir.
11:11Dr Johnson left in the highest of spirits.
11:13What?
11:14He is utterly thrilled at your promise to patronise his dictionary.
11:19Told him to sod off, didn't I?
11:21Yes, sir, but that was a joke.
11:23Surely.
11:24Was it?
11:25Certainly.
11:26And a brilliant one, what's more?
11:29Yes.
11:30Yes.
11:30I, you know, I suppose it was rather, wasn't it?
11:32Yeah.
11:33So may I deliver your note of patronage to Dr Johnson, as promised?
11:37Well, of course.
11:38If that's what I promised, then that's what I must do.
11:40And I remember promising it distinctly.
11:42Excellent.
11:43Nice fire, Baldrick.
11:44Thank you, Mr B.
11:45Right, let's get the book.
11:47Now, Baldrick, where's the manuscript?
11:50You mean the big papery thing tied up with string?
11:53Yes, Baldrick, the manuscript belonging to Dr Johnson.
11:56You mean the baity fellow in the black coat who just left?
11:59Yes, Baldrick, Dr Johnson.
12:01So you're asking where the big papery thing tied up with string belonging to the baity fellow
12:07in the black coat who just left is?
12:09Yes, Baldrick, I am.
12:11And if you don't answer, then the booted, bony thing with five toes on the end of my leg
12:16will soon connect sharply with a soft, dangly collection of objects in your shop.
12:23For the last time, Baldrick, where is Dr Johnson's manuscript?
12:28On the fire.
12:30On the what?
12:31The hot orangey thing under the string of the magic.
12:35You've burnt the dictionary?
12:37Yup.
12:38You've burnt the life's work of England's foremost man of letters?
12:42Well, you did say burn any old rubbish.
12:45Yes, fine.
12:46Isn't it a bit difficult for me to patronise this book if we burnt it?
12:52Yes, it is.
12:54If you would excuse me a moment.
12:56Of course, of course.
12:57Now I've got my lovely fire, I'm as happy as a Frenchman
12:59who's invented a pair of self-removing trousers.
13:02Baldrick, would you join me in the vestibule?
13:09We are going to go to Mrs McGinn's.
13:11We're going to find out where Dr Johnson keeps a copy of that dictionary
13:14and then you are going to steal it.
13:16Me?
13:16Yes, you.
13:17Why me?
13:18Because you burnt it, Baldrick.
13:20But then I'll go to hell forever for stealing.
13:23Baldrick, believe me,
13:25eternity and the company of Beelzebub
13:27and all his hellish instruments of death
13:29will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me
13:32and this pencil.
13:35If we can't replace this dictionary.
13:38Now, come on.
13:40Oh, love, Lord, ecstasy, that is Mrs McGinn's.
13:43Wilt thou bring me but one cup of the brownie juicings
13:46of that naughty bean we call coffee ere I die?
13:50Oh!
13:51Oh, you do have a way of words with you, Mr Shelley.
13:54To hell with this fine-talking coffee woman!
13:57My consumption grows ever more acute
14:00and Coleridge's drugs are wearing off.
14:02Oh, Mr Byron,
14:04don't be such a big girl's blouse.
14:09Don't forget the pencil.
14:10Oh, I certainly won't, sir.
14:14Ah, good day to you, Mrs Mickens.
14:17A cup of your best hot water with brown gris in it.
14:21Unless, of course, by some miracle,
14:23your coffee shop has started selling coffee.
14:25Be quiet, sir.
14:26Can't you see we're dying?
14:28Don't you worry about my poets, Mr Blackadder.
14:31They're not dead.
14:32They're just being intellectual.
14:34Mrs McGinn's, there's nothing intellectual
14:36about wandering around Italy in a big shirt
14:38trying to get laid.
14:39Why are they here of all places?
14:41We are here, sir,
14:42to pay homage to the great Dr Johnson,
14:45as, sir, should you.
14:46Oh, well, absolutely.
14:48I intend to.
14:49You wouldn't happen to have a copy of his dictionary on you,
14:51would you, so I can do some revising
14:53before he gets here?
14:54Friends, I am returned.
14:57Hooray!
14:58So, sir, how was the prince?
15:00The prince was and is an utter fool
15:03and his household filled with cretinous servants.
15:08Good afternoon, sir.
15:10And you are the worst of them, sir.
15:12After all your boasting,
15:13have you my dictionary and my patronage?
15:15Not quite.
15:16The prince begs just a few more hours
15:18to really get to grips with it.
15:20Bah!
15:21Bah!
15:22However, I was wondering if a lowly servant,
15:24such as I,
15:25might be permitted to glance at a copy.
15:27Copy?
15:28Copy!
15:29There is no copy, sir.
15:31No copy?
15:32No, sir.
15:33Making a copy is like fitting wheels to a tomato.
15:36Time-consuming and completely unnecessary.
15:39But what if the book got lost?
15:41I should not lose the book, sir.
15:43And if any other man should,
15:45I would tear off his head with my bare hands
15:47and feed it to the cat.
15:51Well, that's nice and clear.
15:53And I, Lord Byron,
15:55would summon up 50 of my men,
15:57lay siege to the pharaoh's house
15:59and do bloody murder on him.
16:01And I would not rest
16:02until the criminal was hanging by his hair
16:04with an oriental disembowelling cutlass
16:07thrust up his ignoble behind.
16:10I hope you're listening to all this boring.
16:12Sorry.
16:16Sir,
16:17I have been unable to replace the dictionary.
16:19I am therefore leaving immediately for Nepal,
16:22where I intend to live as a goat.
16:27Why?
16:28Because if I stay here,
16:30Dr Johnson's companions
16:31will have me brutally murdered, sir.
16:33Good God, Blackadder, that's terrible.
16:35Do you know any other butlers?
16:38And of course,
16:39when the people discover
16:40that you have burnt
16:41Dr Johnson's dictionary,
16:42they may go around saying,
16:44look, there's thick George.
16:45He's got a brain
16:46the size of a weasel's wedding tackle.
16:51Well, in that case,
16:52something must be done.
16:53I have a cunning plan.
16:57Hurrah!
16:57Well, that's that, then.
16:59I wouldn't get over-excited, sir.
17:01I have a hard suspicion
17:02that Baldrick's plan
17:03will be the stupidest thing we've heard
17:05since Lord Nelson's famous signal
17:08at the Battle of the Nile.
17:09Well, England knows
17:11Lady Hamilton is a virgin.
17:13Poke my eye out
17:14and cut off my arm
17:15if I'm wrong.
17:17Oh, great!
17:19Let's hear it, then.
17:21It's brilliant.
17:23You take the string,
17:25that's still not completely burnt,
17:27you scrape off the soot
17:29and you shove the pages in again.
17:32Which pages?
17:33Well, not the same ones, of course.
17:35Yes, I think I'm on the point
17:36of spotting the flaw in this plan.
17:40But do go on.
17:41Which pages are they?
17:42Well, this is the brilliant bit.
17:44You write some new ones.
17:47Some new ones.
17:48You mean rewrite the dictionary.
17:50I sit down tonight
17:52and rewrite the dictionary
17:53that took Dr Johnson ten years.
17:55Yep.
17:57Baldrick,
17:57that is by far and away
17:58and without a shadow of doubt
18:00the worst and most contemptible plan
18:02in the history of the universe.
18:05On the other hand,
18:06I hear the sound
18:08of disembowelling cataluses
18:10being sharpened.
18:11That's the only plan we've got.
18:12So, if you will excuse me, gentlemen.
18:15Perhaps you'd like me
18:16to lend a hand, Blackadder.
18:17I'm not as stupid as I look.
18:18I am as stupid as I look, sir.
18:21If I can help, I will.
18:23Well, it's very kind of you both,
18:24but I fear your services
18:26might be as useful
18:27as a barber shop
18:28on the steps of the guillotine.
18:29Come on, Blackadder.
18:31Give us a try.
18:33Very well, sir.
18:34As you wish.
18:35Let's start at the beginning, shall we?
18:37First, A.
18:38How would you define A?
18:40Oh, A.
18:41Oh, I love this.
18:41I love this quiz.
18:43Hang on, it's coming.
18:44A.
18:45Oh, crikey.
18:46Um.
18:47Oh, yes, I've got it.
18:48What?
18:49Well,
18:50it doesn't really mean anything,
18:52does it?
18:53Good.
18:54So, we're well on the way, then.
18:57A.
18:58Impersonal pronoun
18:59doesn't really mean anything.
19:02Right, next.
19:03A.
19:03A, B.
19:04Um,
19:05A, B.
19:06Well, it's a buzzing thing, isn't it?
19:08A.
19:09Buzzing thing.
19:12I mean, something that starts with A, B.
19:15Honey?
19:16Honey starts with A, B.
19:18He's right, you know, Blackadder.
19:20Honey does start with a B.
19:21And a flower, too.
19:22Yes, look, this really isn't getting anywhere.
19:24And besides, I've left out Aardvark.
19:27Oh, well.
19:28Can't say we didn't give it a try.
19:29No, Your Highness, it was a brave stab.
19:31But I fear I must proceed on my own.
19:33Now, Baudric,
19:34go to the kitchen and make me something quick and simple to eat, would you?
19:37Two slices of bread with something in between.
19:39What, like Gerald Lord Sandwich had the other day?
19:41Yes, a few rounds of Gerald's.
19:52How goes it, Blackadder?
19:54Not all that well, sir.
19:55Well, let's have a look.
19:58Medium-sized insectivore with protruding nasal implement.
20:04Doesn't sound much like a B to me.
20:06It's an Aardvark!
20:07Can't you see that, Your Highness?
20:08It's a bloody Aardvark!
20:11Dear, still on Aardvark, are we?
20:13Yes, I'm afraid we are.
20:15And if I ever meet an Aardvark,
20:16I'm going to step on its damn protruding nasal implement
20:19until it couldn't suck up an insectivore's life depended on it.
20:22You've been stuck, have you?
20:24I'm sorry, sir.
20:25It's five hours later
20:26and I've got every word in the English language
20:29except A in Aardvark still to do.
20:31And I'm not very happy with my definition of either.
20:35Well, don't panic, Blackadder,
20:36because I have some rather good news.
20:39Oh, what?
20:41Well, we didn't take no for an answer
20:42and have, in fact, been working all night.
20:45I've done B.
20:46Really?
20:47And how have you got on?
20:48Well, I had a bit of trouble with belching,
20:51but I think I got it sorted out in the end.
20:54Oh, no!
20:55There I go again!
21:01You've been working on that joke for some time, haven't you?
21:04Well, yes, I have, as a matter of fact, yes.
21:05Since you started, in fact.
21:06Basically.
21:07So, in fact, you haven't done any work at all?
21:09Not as such, no.
21:10Great.
21:12Baldrick, what have you done?
21:13I've done C and D.
21:15Right, let's have it, then.
21:17Right.
21:18Big blue wobbly thing that mermaids live in.
21:24C.
21:27Yes.
21:30Tiny misunderstandings, still.
21:32My hopes weren't high.
21:34Oh, and what about D?
21:36I'm quite pleased with dog.
21:37Yes, and your definition of dog is?
21:39Not a cat.
21:45Excellent.
21:47Excellent.
21:48Your Highness, may I have a word?
21:50Certainly.
21:51As you know, sir, it has always been my intention to stay with you
21:54until you had a strapping son, and I one likewise,
21:57to take over the burdens of my duties.
21:58That's right, Blackadder, and I thank you for it.
22:00But I'm afraid, sir, that there's been a change of plan.
22:02I'm off to the kitchen to hack my head off with a big knife.
22:06Oh, come on, Blackadder!
22:08It's only a book!
22:10Look, let's just damn the fellow's eyes,
22:12strip the britches from his backside,
22:14and warm his heels to Putney Bridge!
22:16Hurrah!
22:17Sir, these are not the days of Alfred the Great.
22:20You can't just lop someone's head off and blame it on the Vikings.
22:23Can't I, my God?
22:24No.
22:26Oh, well, all right, then.
22:27Well, let's just get on with it.
22:27I mean, boil my brains.
22:29It's only a dictionary.
22:30No-one's asked us to eat ten raw pigs for breakfast.
22:34Good Lord, I mean, we're British, aren't we?
22:37You're not.
22:38You're German.
22:40Get me some coffee, Baldrick.
22:42If I fall asleep before Monday, we're doomed.
22:48Mr Blackadder, time to wake up.
22:52What time is it?
22:53Monday morning.
22:54Monday morning?
22:55Oh, my God, I've overslept.
22:57Where's the quill?
22:58Where's the parchment?
22:58I don't know.
22:59Maybe Dr Johnson's got some with him.
23:01What?
23:02He's outside.
23:03How?
23:04Are you ill, sir?
23:05No, you can't have it.
23:06I know I said Monday, but I want Baldrick to read it, which unfortunately will mean teaching
23:11him to read.
23:13Which will take about ten years.
23:14But time well spent, I think, because it's such a very good dictionary.
23:17I don't think so.
23:18Oh, God, we've been burgled!
23:21What?
23:22I think it's an awful dictionary, full of feeble definitions and ridiculous verbiage.
23:27I've come to ask you to chuck that damn thing in the fire.
23:30Are you sure?
23:31I've never been more sure of anything in my life, sir.
23:33I love you, Dr Johnson, and I want to have your babies.
23:40Sorry, excuse me, Dr Johnson, but my Auntie Marjorie's just arrived.
23:45Baldrick, who gave you permission to turn into an Alsatian?
23:49Oh, God, it's a dream, isn't it?
23:52It's a bloody dream.
23:55Dr Johnson doesn't want us to burn his dictionary at all.
24:04It's the blackadder, time to wake up.
24:09Monday morning.
24:10Monday morning?
24:11Oh, my God, I've overslept.
24:12Where's the quill?
24:13Where's the parchment?
24:14I don't know.
24:15Maybe Dr Johnson's got some with him.
24:17What?
24:18He's outside.
24:20No, hang on.
24:21Hang on.
24:21If we go on like this, you're going to turn into an Alsatian again.
24:26Oh, my God.
24:28Quick, Baldrick, we've got to escape.
24:30No, sir, without the dictionary at once.
24:32Bring it out, sir, or in my passion, I shall kill everyone by giving them syphilis.
24:36Bring it out, sir.
24:37And also any opium plants you may have around there.
24:40Bring it out, sir.
24:41We shall break down the door.
24:43Hi, good morning.
24:44Dr Johnson?
24:45Where is my dictionary?
24:47And what dictionary would this be?
24:49The one that has taken 18 hours of every day for the last 10 years.
24:53My mother died, I hardly noticed.
24:55My father cut off his head and fried it in garlic in the hope of attracting my attention.
24:59I scarcely looked up from my work.
25:01My wife brought armies of lovers to the house who worked in droves so that she might bring
25:05up a huge family of bastards.
25:08I cannot.
25:10Am I to presume that my elaborate bluff has not worked?
25:13Dictionary.
25:14Right.
25:15Well, the truth is, Doctor.
25:16Now, don't get cross.
25:17Don't overreact.
25:17The truth is, we burnt it.
25:20Then you die!
25:22Morning, everyone.
25:24You know, this dictionary really is a cracking good read.
25:27It's an absolutely splendid job.
25:29My dictionary?
25:31But you said you burnt it.
25:33Um...
25:33I think it's a splendid book and I look forward to patronising it enormously.
25:37Oh, well, thank you, sir.
25:38Well, I think I'm man enough to sacrifice the pleasure of killing to maintain the general
25:42good humour.
25:43There's to be no murder today, gentlemen.
25:45But prepare to Mrs. Miggett's.
25:48I shall join you there later for a roister you will never forget.
25:53So, tell me, sir, what words particularly interested you?
25:57Oh, er, nothing.
25:59Anything, really.
26:00Yeah, I see you underlined a few.
26:03Bloomers, bottom, burp.
26:08Fart, fiddle, fornicate.
26:10Well, sir, I hope you are not using the first English dictionary to look up rude words.
26:14I wouldn't be too hopeful.
26:16That's what all the other ones will be used for.
26:19Sir, can I look up turnip?
26:21Turnip isn't a rude word, Baldrick.
26:23It is if you sit on one.
26:25Anyway, sir, do we have more important business in hand?
26:28I refer, of course, to the works of the mysterious Gertrude Perkins.
26:33Mysterious?
26:34No more, sir.
26:35It is time for the truth.
26:36I can at last reveal the identity of the great Gertrude Perkins.
26:40Sir, who is she?
26:42She, sir, is me, sir.
26:44I am Gertrude Perkins.
26:45Good Lord!
26:47And what's more, I can prove it.
26:48Bring out the manuscript and I will show you that my signature corresponds exactly with that on the front.
26:54Why, I must have left it here when I left the dictionary.
26:57This is terribly exciting.
26:59Baldrick, fetch my novel.
27:01Your novel?
27:02Yes, Baldrick, the big papery thing tied up with string.
27:04What, like the thing we burnt?
27:07Exactly like the thing we burnt.
27:08So you're asking for the big papery thing tied up with string, exactly like the thing we burnt?
27:14Exactly.
27:16We burnt it.
27:19So we did.
27:20Thank you, Baldrick.
27:22Seven years of my life have been spoken.
27:25Your Highness, would you excuse me a moment?
27:27By all means.
27:31Oh, God, no!
27:35Thank you, sir.
27:37Burnt, you say?
27:38That's most inconvenient.
27:39A burnt novel is like a burnt dog.
27:42Oh, shut up!
27:45Sir, I have a novel.
27:49Once upon a time, there was a lovely little sausage called...
27:53Sausage?
27:55Sausage!
27:57Blast your eyes!
27:59Oh.
28:01Well, I didn't think it was that bad.
28:03I think you'll find he left sausage out of his diction.
28:09Oh, and aardvark.
28:12Oh, come on, Blackadder.
28:13It's not all that bad.
28:15Nothing a nice roaring fire can't solve.
28:17Oh, Baldrick, do the honours, will you?
28:18Certainly, Your Majesty.
28:19All of them...
28:20Oh.
28:22LAUGHTER
28:42MUSIC SINCE
28:44Active
28:50Blackmon
28:51Blackmon
28:54Blackmon
29:06Blackmon
29:07Blackmon
29:11Blackmon
29:13Adam.
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