- 18 hours ago
Black Adder is pure British comedy gold 😂 From Rowan Atkinson’s legendary sarcasm to the chaotic historical disasters, every season delivers iconic humor, savage wit, and unforgettable moments. Whether it’s medieval schemes, royal disasters, or war-time satire, Black Adder remains one of the greatest comedy series ever made. 🇬🇧🔥
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00:03Many are the tales told of the Blackadder and of his faithful henchmen, Lord Percy Percy
00:09and Baldrick, son of Robin the Dungatherer. But none is told so oft with so much hitting
00:15of heads in wonder and repeating of exciting parts as this, the final chapter in the book
00:21called.
01:00England, 1498, St. Juniper's Day, the day on which the king would lavish new honours upon
01:06his kinfolk.
01:08St. Juniper once said, by his loins shall ye know him, and by the length of his rod shall
01:15he be measured. The length of my rod is a mystery to all but the queen and a thousand Turkish
01:22whores. But the fruits of my loins are here for all to see. I have two sons, Harry and
01:34another one. Step forward, Harry, Prince of Wales.
01:49Harry, I hereby name thee Captain of the Guard, Grand Warden of the Northern and Eastern
01:56Marchers, Chief Lunatic of the Duchy of Gloucester, Wiseroy of Wales, Sheriff of Nottingham, Marcus
02:03of the Midlands, Lord Poemaker in Ordinary, and Harbinger of the Doomed Rat.
02:14Step forward, the other one.
02:27Now, thy titles have been but few. Duke of Edinburgh and Warden of the Royal Privy.
02:32Stay there, my lord.
02:34We thank thee, Egbert, for thy work in Edinburgh. Know now that we do relieve thee of thy heavy
02:39task and give the dukedom to our loyal cousin Hastings. Many half-returns, Tom.
02:45Thus am I discharged the duties of Juniper. Chiswick, fresh horses, we ride at once to rebellious
02:53Stoke, when it is my sworn intent to approach the city walls, bear my broad buttocks, and shout,
03:01Behold, I honour thee most highly!
03:06Hoor!
03:07Hoor!
03:09Hoor!
03:10Hoor!
03:11Hoor!
03:12Hoor!
03:12Hoor!
03:13Hoor!
03:13Hoor!
03:13Hoor!
03:14Hoor!
03:16Hoor!
03:17Hoor!
03:17Hoor!
03:19Hoor!
03:20Well, it could have been worse, my lord.
03:22Yeah, there was a moment there. I thought you were going to lose the privies.
03:24No!
03:26It will not do!
03:29Ah, no, my lord. You're right. It won't.
03:31I must clear away the chaff from my knife and let shine forth the true wheat of greatness.
03:39Do it at once, my lord.
03:40Very well. Percy, you are dismissed from my service.
03:43Ha, ha!
03:44Me?
03:45What?
03:46Because, Percy, far from being a fit consort for a prince of the realm, you would bore the
03:54leggings off a village idiot. You ride a horse rather less well than another horse would.
04:01Your brain would make a grain of sand look large and ungainly. And the part of you that
04:09can't be mentioned, I'm reliably informed by women around the court. It wouldn't be worth
04:13mentioning, even if it could be. If you put on a floppy hat and a furry codpiece, you might
04:20just get by as a fool. But since you wouldn't know a joke if it got up and gave you
04:25a haircut,
04:26I doubt it. That is why you're dismissed.
04:31Oh, I see.
04:32And as for you, Maldrick?
04:33My lord, you're out too.
04:36Fair enough.
04:42Well, I expect you'll go back to shoveling dung in the gutter where I found you.
04:46No, I shouldn't think so.
04:48No.
04:49No, it took me years to get that job.
04:51I'll probably be back milking pigs or bucking out the lepers or something.
04:55Really?
04:56Yeah, it'll be years before I get back to shoveling dung again.
05:09Get out of my way.
05:11Keep going on a journey, my lord.
05:13No, I thought I'd stand here all day and talk to you.
05:16You've been needing someone to tend your horse then.
05:18No, and even if I did, I wouldn't take you.
05:21I mean, look at you.
05:22What is your profession?
05:34God, a retired Morris dancer.
05:37That's all I need.
05:39Well, if you can keep up, you can come.
05:42Ha!
06:00Here he comes now.
06:04No, my son.
06:07So, Sir Wilfred Depp, your tyranny is now at an end.
06:13Prepare to be strung by your cod legs from the bow of that tree.
06:36Sir Wilfred Death.
06:39Edmond.
06:42Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:47I'm looking for some men to take over the kingdom.
06:51How many have you got so far?
07:02So, we are agreed.
07:05He who wins, takes the horse.
07:09Hey, here is our mark. You shoot first.
07:19Yeah, that's good. So good, in fact. I'm going to have to...
07:31Cheat.
07:34Cheat, cheat and peat!
07:43Good evening.
07:45And surrender. Your money or your life.
07:50Here, take it.
07:52It's all the money I have.
07:57Now, let me pass.
08:02I'm always doing this.
08:04Did I say your money or your life?
08:07You did.
08:08Sorry.
08:10Slip of the tongue.
08:12Your money and your life.
08:21Thanks, Ned.
08:22See you Thursday.
08:24See you Thursday.
08:27Guy!
08:28Wilfred!
08:28Now, what we need
08:31is a real bastard.
08:35Sean!
08:36The Irish bastard!
08:48Pity the blind, sir!
08:51Pity the blind, kind sir!
09:07Here, business is very quiet this morning.
09:10Aye, everyone's gone to lunch, I think.
09:17Sean!
09:27I see her greatly for her chastity.
09:32Sean!
09:34I see her greatly for her chastity.
09:39Yes.
09:41I wondered if you would take her while I'm gone.
09:47Yes.
09:48The answer is yes.
09:51I shall.
09:58Friar Bellows.
10:01Doing the Lord's work.
10:05I'm just administering extreme action.
10:10So, who shall be our seventh, Wilfred?
10:14Why, need I say?
10:16Jack.
10:20Not mad bully boy, Jack, a grave robbing assassin of Aldwych.
10:24No.
10:25Then, crazed animal, Jack, the kettle-rostling cannibal from Sudden Coffey.
10:32No.
10:33Then your man, St. Jack O'Hooligan, the man-hating goat murderer of Dingle Bay.
10:40No.
10:40Surely not Canon Jack Smollett, senior arse deacon of the Diocese of St. Botan, the entry-leasing
10:47heretic of Barton Wells.
10:48No.
10:50I'm talking of unspeakably violent Jack, the bull-buggering fixed-killer of the fixed-a-word.
11:05Are you sure he's the kind of chap we're looking for?
11:08Yes.
11:11Well, here he comes.
11:21What do you think you're doing?
11:23Are you with us, Jack?
11:24Aye!
11:54Tell me, Jack, what is your second name?
11:59Large Jack Lodge.
12:00Then, in our band, you shall be known as Large Jack.
12:06Why?
12:08Well, because you are so little.
12:11Why not Little Jack, then?
12:14Well, because Large Jack is more amusing.
12:18Is it?
12:20Pretty well, then.
12:21Little Jack.
12:24You must have mocked my size.
12:27No, no, no, no, no.
12:27No, of course not.
12:29I'm in, Keeper.
12:30Some more beer.
12:31Hooray!
12:32Six large beers.
12:34And another large beer.
12:38Let us then go on to The Plan.
12:43A motto for our enterprise.
12:45A motto.
12:46Blessed are the meek.
12:48For they shall be slaughtered.
12:52Wait, wait, wait.
12:53The plan.
12:54You've forgotten the plan.
12:56I thought that was the plan.
12:57Let's get those meek bastards now.
13:00Quiet!
13:03Who wants quiet?
13:05I want chaos!
13:09And slaughtered!
13:12Flowers!
13:14No!
13:15What?
13:16Mercilessly crushed underfoot!
13:19Silence!
13:21Silence!
13:23Silence!
13:23Peace!
13:25The word of the Lord.
13:26For Christ's sake, let's hear the plan.
13:29Very well.
13:30The plan is simple.
13:32I thought it was cunning.
13:33Go with a plan!
13:35Well, it's cunning and it's simplest.
13:40Tonight, I ride for home.
13:42I say strike now while the iron is hot.
13:45But the iron isn't hot.
13:47Isn't it?
13:47No, it's just warming up.
13:50But when it is hot, then we will strike.
13:54What?
13:54Oh, we're going to have to wait till summer.
13:57Then when the iron is hot.
13:59What iron?
14:01Well, then, how we have agreed, I shall send for you all.
14:05How?
14:05Well, by a message, a sign.
14:08What sort of sign?
14:09Well, um, something black, probably.
14:13Black boating.
14:16That's right.
14:17Uh, messenger.
14:19With the black plague, perhaps.
14:21Yes, that's right.
14:22He means to kill us.
14:24What?
14:25A messenger with black hair.
14:29Ah!
14:30A black-headed messenger!
14:32And when he comes to you, drop whatever you are doing
14:37and speed with all haste to Jasper's tavern.
14:41Whee!
14:41I know it well.
14:42How is old Jasper these days?
14:44Dead.
14:45Ow.
14:45I killed him.
14:46Whee!
14:48From there, from there, I shall take you to the castle
14:51where we will capture the king and the queen and the prince.
14:56Whee!
14:56And we shall say to them, the kingdom of Albion is ours.
15:02You are doomed to lives of exile.
15:05Get out!
15:09Yes, exile.
15:11For life.
15:13But why don't we just kill them?
15:18I suppose we could kill them.
15:22Wait, wait, wait.
15:24Wait till I send the sign.
15:26Before I get a messenger, we're blackheads all over each other.
15:28Why, now, it isn't a trap.
15:33Oh, because the black adder gives you his word.
15:39We want your word, not this black adder, fellows.
15:43But I am the black adder.
15:47Oh, I see.
15:49And when all is done, the black seal shall rule England.
15:54Oh!
15:55We few, we happy few, we band of ruthless bastards.
16:03All for one.
16:05And each man for himself.
16:13We're in a merry mood, my lord.
16:15Oh, yes.
16:16No one can stop me now.
16:18No one?
16:19No, no one.
16:23Except perhaps...
16:25No, not even him.
16:27And who might that be, my lord?
16:29Well, there was a man, Philip of Burgundy, known to his enemies as the hawk.
16:40We were deadly childhood rivals.
16:43Although, of course, in those days, he was known as the thrush.
16:48But no one's heard of him for years.
16:53Well, come on, let's go.
16:54We've got work to do.
16:55It's hard so far, Stettenborough.
16:59This hawk, did he look something like this?
17:17Mmm, not really, no.
17:24Oh, my God, Philip of Burgundy.
17:27Known to my enemies as...
17:31The hawk.
17:34But...
17:35But your horse used to be a huge brown...
17:39Yes, that's the one.
17:44Well, it's been very good to see you, uh...
17:48Phil.
17:50This time, not fast enough.
17:52What do you want with me?
17:54I'll tell you later.
18:03I return at last after 15 years.
18:07And what have you been up to?
18:09Waiting, plotting, nurturing my hatred and planning my revenge.
18:13Ah, so you've kept yourself busy.
18:16Yes.
18:1715 years in France teaches a man to hate.
18:2215 years of wearing perfume.
18:2415 years of eating France.
18:2615 years of saying pardon.
18:29And all because of you.
18:32But surely, the scenery...
18:34I never went outside.
18:35I couldn't stand a snake.
18:38What has all this got to do with me?
18:40Because, Edmund, it is going to take you 15 years...
18:45...to die.
18:46A snake.
18:48Senior?
18:49Yes.
18:49How?
18:50I think it might be more amusing if you found out for yourself.
18:54Let us just say it has something to do with...
18:59...slaves.
19:06Oh, my God!
19:07Where are you going?
19:08Fire to the castle to kill the royal family and claim a throne that isn't mine by right.
19:22Dear Lord, who made the birds and the bees and the snails, presumably, who made you help me?
19:33A little animal, too, in my despair.
19:37I have been a sinner, but now I intend to follow the path of the saints, particularly the very religious
19:45ones.
19:47In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
19:51Amen.
19:52Amen!
19:53What?
19:55Amen, I say!
19:57But, did I get it wrong?
19:59I haven't said it that way in 20 years, you see?
20:01Who are you?
20:02I...
20:03I didn't realise I had company.
20:05Oh, company!
20:06I haven't said that way for 20 years, either.
20:09I'll realise.
20:10I've completely forgotten.
20:11Realise.
20:12Oh, no, you're not mad, are you?
20:14Yes, I'm very mad, thank you.
20:16Mad!
20:17That's the words I know.
20:18I say to myself every day, I say,
20:20Good morning, Mad Gerald.
20:21How are you today?
20:22I say, I'm completely mad today, thank you.
20:25There's not much change there, then, is there, Gerald?
20:27I say, no.
20:27Well, you'd be mad to expect any, wouldn't you?
20:30But I am mad.
20:31I'm Mad Gerald.
20:32Quiet!
20:34Shh!
20:35Shh!
20:36Look, this may seem a stupid question.
20:40Question?
20:40Yes, sir.
20:41But you don't know if there's a way out of here, do you?
20:44A way out?
21:09A way out, you say.
21:12I haven't heard those words, a way out, for, ooh, 20 years.
21:18Yes, yes, 20 years.
21:20Not like Mr. Rat.
21:23I'm always saying Mr. Rat.
21:26Hmm?
21:27Mr. Rat.
21:28I tend to say, good morning, Mr. Rat.
21:31Er, how are you today?
21:34Er, how are you today?
21:34And he said, um...
21:36Beep, beep.
21:43Er, how are you today?
21:45Er, how are you today?
21:47Er, how are you today?
21:48You mustn't be rude about Mr. Rat.
21:51He's my best friend.
21:53Yes.
21:56Well, there's him and there's Mr. Key.
22:01What?
22:02Mr. Key.
22:05I made him out of my own teeth.
22:11Good morning, Mr. Key.
22:13Good morning, dear.
22:17Close your bloody door!
22:23Stop! Stop!
22:26Where are you going?
22:27I'll tell you where.
22:28Where I can sell these six black omen pigeons I've got in the back here, that's where.
22:33Black omen pigeons?
22:35Well, mostly.
22:38How much are they?
22:39Six shilling.
22:41Damn!
22:43Well, I suppose if you beat me and gagged me and tied me to that tree over there, you could
22:47have them for less.
22:49Right.
23:13What?
23:20What?
23:21What?
23:23What?
23:23What?
23:23What?
23:41At the striking of ten bells,
23:45I shall claim the throne.
24:09Gentlemen, to what do I owe this pleasure?
24:18To me, Burgundy.
24:21Edmund, I had not expected to see you again.
24:24No.
24:25Dead men don't tend to make social calls, do they?
24:30Prepare to die!
24:32Wait!
24:33Let me say just one last thing.
24:35If these men are indeed, as they seem to be,
24:38the six most evil men in the land...
24:40Yes, they are. Your last sentence, please.
24:44Then they've made a pretty damn peculiar choice for their leader, haven't they?
24:47I, my Lord Warden of the Privilege!
24:50You think they should have chosen you?
24:53Thrush!
24:54A man twisted by unbridled ambition?
24:58Oh!
24:59A man tortured by insatiable greed?
25:02Oh!
25:03The most evil man in the world?
25:06You think they should have chosen you?
25:09Yes!
25:10Yes!
25:12But he's a mindless killer!
25:14Hooray!
25:15He'll destroy the kingdom!
25:17Hooray!
25:18He murdered his own family!
25:21Well, who didn't? I certainly killed mine.
25:22And I killed mine!
25:24And I killed yours!
25:25Did you?
25:25Yes.
25:25Good on you, Father!
25:27Hooray!
25:27You with me, then?
25:28Yes!
25:29Prepare to die!
25:31Kill!
25:32Wait!
25:33I have a more amusing method!
25:37Amusing for whom, I wonder?
25:40Gentlemen!
25:42Oh!
25:44Oh!
25:46Oh!
25:46Oh!
25:46Oh!
25:47Oh!
25:48Wait a minute!
25:49The spike will go up your meathers!
25:53Oh!
25:54Oh!
25:54The shears will cut off your ears!
25:58Oh!
25:59Oh!
25:59Is that so?
26:00Yes!
26:01Oh!
26:03Then these axes will chop off your hands!
26:06Oh!
26:06Yes!
26:06And I do not think we need to go into the attributes of the coddling grinder!
26:14Oh!
26:15These feathers here will tickle you under what's left of your arms!
26:21And that is the amusing part!
26:27Gentlemen!
26:29Let us go and slaughter all the rest of the royal family!
26:33God save the king!
26:35Cause nobody else will!
26:39On the way!
26:42Stop!
26:44First let us relieve these wenches of their delightful burden!
26:47And drink a toast to our enterprise!
26:50May good thrive!
26:52Over our dead bodies!
26:54Ha Ha ha ha ha ha!
27:00Ha....
27:01Aaaaaaahhhh!
27:12Hmm...
27:13It's got a bit of a sting in its tail!
27:39Oh, Edmund, Edmund.
27:43Edmund!
27:45He lives!
27:52Father, you called me Edmund.
27:57Sorry, Edgar. How are you?
28:00Not so well. Harry, what do you think my chances are?
28:09Oh, good. Good.
28:11He will live.
28:13Oh, no. Sorry, I thought you meant your chances of going to heaven.
28:18Calm down.
28:21Never fear, my son. Your body may be mutilated beyond recognition,
28:26but your spirit will live forever!
28:29My lords!
28:30What did you say?
28:32I give you Edgar!
28:39I told you to poison the black seals and goblins,
28:41not poison the whole bat!
28:43Edgar!
28:45What did you...?
28:49The Black Dagger!
28:56May his name last as long as our dynasty!
29:11Good Lord. I wonder if it was the wine.
29:25No?
29:27Seems perfectly all right to me.
29:31And now, at last, I shall be king of...
29:36.
29:45So now the wage of sin is paid,
29:52the blade.
29:55The blade is still the Blackstead grazes.
30:01The only sound across the glade
30:07is Edmund pushing up the daises.
30:17Blackadder! Blackadder!
30:22Blackadder! Blackadder!
30:23A shame about the plan!
30:33Blackadder! Blackadder!
30:36That woman is male.
30:45That woman is male.
30:53That she is young...
30:54The old man of the world drew nothing off the main duck.
30:54why don't you hurt the van sickle?
30:56You're tired!
30:56I incident happened.
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