Black Adder is pure British comedy gold 😂 From Rowan Atkinson’s legendary sarcasm to the chaotic historical disasters, every season delivers iconic humor, savage wit, and unforgettable moments. Whether it’s medieval schemes, royal disasters, or war-time satire, Black Adder remains one of the greatest comedy series ever made. 🇬🇧🔥
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00:00Time, that's right.
00:03To dodge.
00:16Fire strike.
00:25Fire strike.
00:41Care for a smoke, sir?
00:42Yeah, thank you.
00:44Private?
00:44Oh, thank you, sir.
00:49Oh, dash and blast all this hanging about, sir.
00:52I'm as bored as a pacifist pistol.
00:54When are we going to see some action?
00:56Well, George, I strongly suspect that you're long wait for certain days.
01:00Your breath is nearly at an end.
01:01Surely you must have noticed something in the air?
01:03Well, yes, of course, but I thought that was Private Baldrick.
01:06I must not very much mistaken.
01:08Soon we will at last be making the final big push.
01:11That one we've been so looking forward to all these years.
01:14Well, hurrah with highly polished brass knobs on.
01:17About time!
01:24Hello, the Somme public baths.
01:26No running, shouting or piddling in the shallow end.
01:30Ah, Captain Darling.
01:33Tomorrow at dawn.
01:35Oh, excellent.
01:37See you later, then.
01:39Bye.
01:41Gentlemen, our long wait is nearly at an end.
01:43Tomorrow morning, General Insanity Melchit invites you to a mass slaughter.
01:48We're going over the top.
01:50Well, huzzah and hurrah.
01:52God save the king, rule Britannia, and boo sucks to Harry Hunt.
01:56Oh, to put it more precisely, you're going over the top.
01:59I'm getting out of here.
02:01Oh, no, God.
02:03It may be a bit risky, but it sure is blooming hell worth it, Governor.
02:06How can it possibly be worth it?
02:09We've been sitting here since Christmas 1914, during which millions of men have died,
02:13and we've advanced no further than an asthmatic ant with some heavy shopping.
02:19Oh, but this time I'm absolutely pos will break through.
02:23It's ice cream in Berlin in 15 days.
02:26Oh, ice cold in no man's land in 15 seconds.
02:29Now, the time has come to get out of this madness once and for all.
02:33What madness is that?
02:34Oh, for God's sake, George, how long have you been in the army?
02:37Well, me?
02:38Oh, I joined up straight away, sir.
02:40August the 4th, 1914.
02:42Oh, what a day that was.
02:43Myself and the rest of the fellows leapfrogging down to the Cambridge recruiting office
02:47and then playing tiddlywinks in the queue.
02:50We'd hammered Oxford's tiddlywinkers only the week before,
02:52and there we were, off to hammer the bot.
02:56Trashingly superb bunch of blokes.
02:57Fine, clean-limbed.
03:00Even Arachne had a strange nobility about it.
03:04Yes, and how are all the boys now?
03:06Oh, well, Jocko and the Badger bought it at the first Eep, unfortunately.
03:10Quite a shock, that.
03:11I remember Bumfluff's housemaster wrote and told me that
03:15Sticky'd been out for a duck
03:16and the gubber had snitched a parcel sausage end
03:19and gone goose over stump's frog side.
03:22Meaning?
03:24I don't know, sir, but I read in the Times that they'd both been killed.
03:28And Bumfluff himself?
03:29Copped a packet at Gallipoli with the Aussies.
03:32So did Drippy and Strangely Brown.
03:36I remember we heard on the first morning of the Somme
03:39when Titch and Mr. Floppy got gassed back to Blighty.
03:42Which leaves?
03:44Gosh, yes, I suppose I'm the only one of the Trinity tiddlers still alive.
03:49Blummy, there's a thought, and not a jolly one.
03:51My point exactly. George?
03:53A chap might get a bit miz.
03:54If it wasn't for the thought of going over the top tomorrow...
03:57Right, sir, permission to get weaving.
03:59Permission granted.
04:00Thank you, sir.
04:00Bollard?
04:01Captain B.
04:02This is a crisis.
04:03A large crisis.
04:05In fact, if you've got a moment,
04:07it's a 12-storey crisis
04:08with a magnificent entrance hall
04:10counting throughout 24-hour portrait
04:12and an enormous sign on the roof
04:14saying this is a large crisis.
04:17A large crisis requires a large plan.
04:20Get me two pencils and a pair of underpants.
04:24Right, Bolrick.
04:25This is an old trick I picked up in the Sudan.
04:28We tell HQ that I've gone insane
04:31and I will be invalided back to Blighty
04:33before you can say a wubble.
04:35A poor, gormous idiot.
04:37Well, I'm a poor, gormous idiot, sir,
04:40and I've never been invalided back to Blighty.
04:42Yes, Bolrick, but you never said a wubble.
04:46Ask me some simple questions.
04:48Right.
04:48What is your name?
04:50Wubble.
04:52What is two plus two?
04:54Oh, wubble, wubble.
04:56Where do you live?
04:57London.
04:58Eh?
04:58A small village on Mars
05:00just outside the capital city.
05:02Wubble.
05:03All the men present and correct, sir,
05:05ready for the off, eh?
05:06I'm afraid not, Lieutenant.
05:08I'm just off to Hartlepool
05:09to buy some exploding trousers.
05:12Come again, sir?
05:13Have you gone barking mad?
05:15Yes, George, I have.
05:16Cluck, cluck, jibber, jibber,
05:17my old man's a mushroom, et cetera.
05:20Go send a runner to tell General Melchett
05:22that your captain has gone insane
05:23and must return to England at once.
05:26Sir, how utterly ghastly for you.
05:28I mean, well, you'll miss the whole rest of the war.
05:30Yes, very bad luck.
05:32Beep.
05:32Right.
05:33Beep.
05:35Now, Bordrick, I'll be back as soon as I can.
05:37Papa.
05:39Whatever you do, don't excite him.
05:44Fat chance.
05:46Now, all we have to do is wait.
05:48Bordrick, fix us some coffee, will you?
05:50And try to make it taste slightly less like mud this time.
05:53Not easy, I'm afraid, Captain.
05:54Why is this?
05:55Because it is mud.
05:57We ran out of coffee 13 months ago.
06:00So every time I've drunk your coffee since,
06:02I have, in fact, been drinking hot mud.
06:05With sugar.
06:07Which, of course, makes all the difference.
06:09Well, it would do if we had any sugar,
06:11but unfortunately, we ran out New Year's Eve 1915.
06:15Since when?
06:16I've been using sugar substitute.
06:19Which is?
06:20Dandruff.
06:23Brilliant.
06:25Still, I could add some milk this time.
06:28Well, saliva.
06:30No.
06:31No, thank you, Bordrick.
06:33Call me Mr. Picky, but I think I'll cancel it.
06:37That's probably because you're mad, sir.
06:39Well, quite.
06:41Well, I didn't go down at all well, I'm afraid, sir.
06:44Captain Darling said they'd be along directly,
06:46but, well, you better be pretty damn doolally.
06:48Don't worry, George, I am.
06:50Okay, okay.
06:52When they get here, I'll show them what totally and utterly bonkeroonie means.
06:56Wow.
06:57Well, then, we've got bugger all to do except sit and wait.
07:00Well, I don't know, sir.
07:01We could, uh, we could have a jolly game of charades.
07:03Oh, yes.
07:04And a sing-along of musical hits like Birmingham Bertie and, uh,
07:09whoops, Mrs. McGinsey all setting on my artichokes.
07:12Yes, I think bugger all might be rather more fun.
07:17Permission to ask a question, sir?
07:19Permission granted, Baldrick.
07:21As long as it isn't the one about where babies come from.
07:24Now, the thing is, the way I see it,
07:27these days there's a war on, right?
07:29And ages ago there wasn't a war on, right?
07:32So, there must have been a moment
07:34when there not being a war on went away, right?
07:38And there being a war on came along.
07:41So, what I want to know is,
07:44how did we get from the one case of affairs
07:48to the other case of affairs?
07:50Do you mean, how did the war start?
07:54Yeah.
07:56The war started because of the vile Hun
07:59and his villainous empire building.
08:01George, the British Empire at present covers a quarter of the globe,
08:04while the German Empire consists of a small sausage factory in Tanganyika.
08:09I hardly think that we can be entirely absolved from blame
08:12on the imperialistic front.
08:14Oh, no. No, sir. Absolutely not.
08:17Man, it's a bicycle.
08:19I heard that it started when a bloke called Archie Duke
08:23shot an ostrich because he was hungry.
08:27I think you mean it started when the Archduke of Austro-Hungary got shot.
08:32No, there was definitely an ostrich involved.
08:36Well, possibly.
08:37But the real reason for the whole thing
08:39was that it was just too much effort not to have a war.
08:42By gum, this is interesting.
08:44I always loved history.
08:45The Battle of Hastings, Henry VIII and his six knives, all that.
08:50You see, Baldrick,
08:51in order to prevent war in Europe,
08:52two super blocs developed.
08:54Us, the French, and the Russians on one side,
08:56and the Germans and Austro-Hungary on the other.
08:58The idea was to have two vast opposing armies,
09:02each acting as the other's deterrent.
09:04That way, there could never be a war.
09:06But this is a sort of a war, isn't it, sir?
09:10Yes, that's right.
09:11You see, there was a tiny flaw in the plan.
09:14What was that, sir?
09:14It was bollocks.
09:20So the poor old ostrich died for nothing.
09:24Here, sir!
09:26Right, they're here.
09:27Baldrick, you keep him warm.
09:29I'll go and prepare the ground.
09:33Sir.
09:33George!
09:35How's the patient?
09:35Well, it's touch and go, I'm afraid, sir.
09:37I really can't vouch for his behaviour.
09:39He's gone mad, you see.
09:40Stir-fry crazy.
09:41Is he?
09:42Is this genuinely mad?
09:44Oh, yes, sir.
09:45Or has he simply put his underpants on his head
09:47and stuffed a couple of pencils on his head?
09:50That's what they all used to do in the Sudan.
09:53I remember I once had to shoot a whole platoon for trying that.
09:57Well, let's have a look at him.
10:00Ted!
10:01Shut!
10:01And the other thing they used to do in the Sudan
10:03was to get dressed up like this and pretend to be mad.
10:07But don't let me catch you trying that one, Baldrick,
10:09or I'll have you shot, all right?
10:11Dismissed.
10:12Oh, hello, sir.
10:13Didn't hear you come in.
10:14Oh, now, Blackadder.
10:16They tell me you've gone mad.
10:18No, sir.
10:18No?
10:19No.
10:19Must be a breakdown of communication.
10:21Someone obviously heard I was mad with excitement,
10:24waiting for the off.
10:24Anyway, you see, darling,
10:25I told you there'd be a perfectly rational explanation.
10:29Right, George, have your chaps fall in.
10:31Very good, sir.
10:32Well, it's rather odd, sir.
10:33The message was very clear.
10:34Captain Blackadder gone totally tonto,
10:36brings straitjacket for immediate return to blight.
10:39Don't be ridiculous, darling.
10:41The hero of Mboto Gorge, mad?
10:44You've only got to look at him,
10:46because he's as sane as I am.
10:47Baa!
10:49Would that be the Mboto Gorge
10:51where we massacred the peace-loving pygmies
10:53of the Upper Volta
10:53and stole all their fruit?
10:56No, a totally different Mboto Gorge.
10:59No.
11:01Cup of coffee, darling.
11:07Aldrich, do the honours.
11:08Sir.
11:09Sugar, sir?
11:10Three lumps.
11:13Think you can manage three lumps, Aldrich?
11:16I'll rummage round, see what I can find, sir.
11:20Maybe get a milky one.
11:22Coming up, sir.
11:24Hello.
11:25Oh, George, you must have been delighted
11:27to hear the news of the big push.
11:28Absolutely, sir.
11:29Our chance to show the hum
11:30that it takes more than a pointy hat
11:32and bad breath to defeat the armors of Jim George.
11:34That's the spirit.
11:41Here you are, sir.
11:43Ah, cappuccino.
11:46LAUGHTER
11:50Have you got any of that brown stuff you sprinkle on the top?
11:54Well, I'm sure I could...
11:55No.
11:56No.
11:57Shut up.
12:03Fine body of men you've got out there, Blackadder.
12:05Yes, sir.
12:06Surely to become fine bodies of men.
12:09Oh, nonsense you'll pull through.
12:12I remember when we played the old Horovians back in 96.
12:15They said we'd never break through to their back line,
12:17but we ducked and we bobbed and we wove
12:19and we damn well won the game 15-4.
12:22Yes, sir, but the Harrow full-back
12:24wasn't armed with a heavy machine gun.
12:26No, that's a good point.
12:27Make a note, darling.
12:28Sir.
12:29Recommendation for the Harrow governors.
12:31Heavy machine guns for full-backs.
12:33Nice idea, Beargetter.
12:35Now then, soldier.
12:36You looking forward to giving those Frenchies
12:38a damn good licking?
12:40Uh, no, sir.
12:41It's the Germans which he'll be licking, sir.
12:43Don't be revolting, darling.
12:47I wouldn't lick a German if he was glazed in honey.
12:52Now then, soldier.
12:53Do you love your country?
12:55Certainly do, sir.
12:56Do you love your king?
12:57Certainly don't, sir.
12:59Then why not?
13:00My mother told me never to trust men with beards, sir.
13:03Ha, ha, ha, ha.
13:05Excellent native cockney wit.
13:08Well, best of luck to you all.
13:11Sorry I can't be with you,
13:12but obviously there's no place at the front
13:14for an old general with a dicky heart and a wooden bladder.
13:17By the way, John,
13:18if you want to accompany me back to HQ
13:21and watch the results as they come in,
13:23I think I can guarantee a place in the car.
13:24Oh, no, thank you, sir.
13:25I wouldn't miss this show for anything.
13:27I'm as excited as a very excited person
13:30who's got a special reason to be excited, sir.
13:32Excellent.
13:33Well, chuff, chuff, then.
13:34See you all in Berlin for coffee and cakes.
13:37Bye.
13:39Pfft.
13:42What is the matter with you today, darling?
13:45I'm so sorry, Blackadder.
13:47Come on, darling.
13:48We're leaving.
13:49There you go, sir.
13:50I'm glad you're not barking anymore.
13:52Well, thank you, George.
13:53Although quite clearly you are.
13:55You were offered a way out
13:56and you didn't take it.
13:57Oh, absolutely not, sir.
13:58No, I can't wait to get stuck into the Bosch.
14:01You won't have time to get stuck into the Bosch.
14:04We'll all be cut to pieces by machine gun fire
14:06before we can say charge.
14:09Right, so, what do we do now?
14:11Shall I do my war poem?
14:12How hurt would you be if I gave the honest answer,
14:15which is,
14:16no, I'd rather French kiss a skunk.
14:20So would I, sir.
14:26All right, fire away, Bournemouth.
14:29Hear the words I sing,
14:32war's a horrid thing.
14:34So I sing, sing, sing,
14:38ding-a-ling-a-ling.
14:42Oh, brother, yes.
14:44Yes.
14:45Well, it started badly
14:47and it tailed off a little in the middle
14:48and the less said about the end,
14:51the better, but apart from that,
14:53excellent.
14:54Oh, shall I do another one then, sir?
14:55No, we wouldn't want to exhaust you.
14:56No, don't worry,
14:57I could go on all night.
14:58Not with a bayonet through your neck,
14:59you couldn't.
15:01This one is called the German guns.
15:05Oh, sniffing, yes, let's hear that.
15:08Boom, boom, boom, boom.
15:12Boom, boom, boom.
15:17Boom, boom, boom, boom.
15:20Boom, boom, boom?
15:22That's a guess, sir.
15:24Say, sir, that is spooky.
15:26I'm sorry, I think I've got to get out of here.
15:28Well, I have a cunning plan, sir.
15:32All right, Boric, for old time's sake.
15:34Well, you phone Field Marshal Haig, sir,
15:37and you ask him to get you out of here.
15:41Boric, even by your standards, it's pathetic.
15:44I've only ever met Field Marshal Haig once,
15:46it was 20 years ago,
15:47and my God, you've got it, you've got it!
15:52Well, if I've got it, you've got it, too, no?
15:55I can't believe I've been so stupid.
15:58One phone call will do it.
16:00One phone call, and I'll be free.
16:02Let's see, it's 3.30 a.m.,
16:03I'll call about quarter to six.
16:06Excellent, excellent.
16:07Well, I'll get packing.
16:09You know, I won't half miss you, champs,
16:12after the war.
16:12Don't worry, Lieutenant, I'll come visit you.
16:15Oh, really?
16:16Oh, bravo, yes.
16:17Jump into the old jalopy
16:18and come down and stay in the country.
16:20We can relive the old times.
16:21What?
16:22Dig a hole in the garden,
16:23fill it with water,
16:24and get your gamekeeper to shoot at us all day?
16:28Oh, that's the thing
16:29I don't really understand about you, Captain.
16:31You know, I mean, you're a professional soldier,
16:32and yet sometimes you sound as if
16:34you very well haven't enjoyed soldiering at all.
16:37Well, you see, George, I did like it.
16:38Back in the old days,
16:39when the prerequisite of a British campaign
16:41was that the enemy should,
16:42under no circumstances, carry guns.
16:46Even Spears made us think twice.
16:48The kind of people we liked to fight
16:49were two feet tall
16:51and armed with dry grass.
16:53Oh, now, come off it, sir.
16:54What about Mvoto Gorge, for heaven's sake?
16:57Yes, that was a bit of a nasty one.
16:58Ten thousand Watusi warriors
17:00armed to the teeth
17:02with kiwi fruit and guava heart.
17:05After the battle,
17:06instead of taking prisoners,
17:07we simply made a huge fruit salad.
17:11Now, when I joined up,
17:12I never imagined anything
17:13as awful as this war.
17:15I'd had 15 years of military experience
17:17perfecting the art of ordering a pink gin
17:20and saying,
17:21do you do it doggy-doggy in Swahili?
17:25And then suddenly,
17:26four and a half million
17:27heavily armed Germans
17:28opened up you.
17:29It was a shock, I can tell you.
17:31I thought it was going to be
17:32such fun, too.
17:34We all did.
17:35Joining the local regiment
17:36and everything.
17:38Turnip Street Workhouse, pals.
17:40It was great.
17:41I'll never forget it.
17:42It was the first time
17:43I ever felt really popular.
17:45Everyone was cheering,
17:46throwing flowers.
17:48Some girl even come up
17:49and kiss me.
17:50Poor woman.
17:51First casualty of the war.
17:53And I loved the training.
17:54All we had to do
17:55was bayonet sacks full of straw.
17:58Even I could do that.
17:59I remember saying to my mum,
18:01these sacks will be easy
18:02to outwit in a battle situation.
18:05And then,
18:06shortly after,
18:07we all met up,
18:08didn't we?
18:09Just before Christmas 1914.
18:11Yes, that's right.
18:12I'd just arrived
18:13and we had that wonderful
18:14Christmas truce.
18:15Do you remember, sir?
18:16We could hear
18:17silent night
18:18drifting across
18:19the still, clear air
18:20of no man's land.
18:22And then they came,
18:22the Germans,
18:23emerging out of the
18:24freezing night mist,
18:25calling to us.
18:26And we clambered up
18:27over the top
18:27and went to meet them.
18:29Both sides advanced more
18:30during one Christmas piss-up
18:32than they managed
18:33in the next two and a half
18:34years of all.
18:35Do you remember
18:36the football match?
18:37Remember it?
18:38How could I forget it?
18:39I was never offside.
18:40I could not believe
18:41that decision.
18:44And since then,
18:45we've been stuck here
18:47for three flipping years.
18:48We haven't moved.
18:50All my friends are dead.
18:52My pet spider, Sammy.
18:55Katie the worm.
18:57Bertie the bird.
18:59Everyone except
19:00Neville the fat hamster.
19:02I'm afraid
19:03Neville bought it too,
19:04Bertie.
19:06I'm sorry.
19:07Neville gone, sir?
19:09Actually, not quite gone.
19:10He's in the corner
19:11banging up the sink.
19:14Oh, no.
19:15It didn't have to happen, sir.
19:17If it wasn't for this
19:18terrible war,
19:19Neville would still
19:20be here today,
19:21sniffling his little nose
19:23and going eek.
19:25On the other hand,
19:26if he hadn't died,
19:27I wouldn't have been able
19:27to insert a curtain rod
19:29in his bottom
19:29and use him as a dish mop.
19:32What can't we just stop, sir?
19:34What can't we just say,
19:36no more killing,
19:37let's all go home?
19:38Why would it be stupid
19:40just to pack it in, sir?
19:41Why?
19:41Now, now, now, look here.
19:42You just stop that
19:44conchie talk right now,
19:45Private.
19:46It's absurd,
19:47it's Bolshevism
19:48and it wouldn't work,
19:49anyway.
19:49Why not, sir?
19:51Why not?
19:52What do you mean?
19:54Why wouldn't it work?
19:55It wouldn't work,
19:56it wouldn't work,
19:57because they're...
19:58Now, you just get on
19:59with polishing those boots,
20:00all right?
20:01A little bit less of that lip.
20:04I think I managed
20:05to crush the mutiny
20:06there, sir.
20:08I don't think so,
20:09in just a few hours
20:10we'll be off.
20:11Nope, of course,
20:12not that I won't miss
20:12all this, sir,
20:13but, I mean,
20:14we've had some good times,
20:15we've had some
20:16damnably good laughs, eh?
20:18Yes, can't think
20:19of any specific ones.
20:24Darling!
20:25Sir!
20:26No, no, sit, sit, sit, sit.
20:28Can't sleep either, eh?
20:30Ah, no, sir.
20:32Thinking about the push, sir.
20:35Hoping the boss
20:35will forget to set
20:36their alarm clocks
20:37oversleep and still be
20:38in their pyjamas
20:38when our boys turn up, sir.
20:40Yes, yes.
20:44I've been thinking, too, darling.
20:46Sir?
20:46You know,
20:47over these last few years,
20:49I've come to think of you
20:50as a sort of son.
20:52Not a favourite son,
20:53of course.
20:54Lord, no.
20:55More a sort of
20:56illegitimate backstairs
20:57sort of sprong, you know.
21:00The sort of
21:00spotty squid
21:01that nobody really likes.
21:03But nonetheless,
21:04still fruit
21:05of my overactive loins.
21:07Thank you, sir.
21:08And I want to do
21:09what's best for you, darling.
21:10So I've given it
21:11a great deal of thought
21:12and I want you
21:14to have this.
21:17A postal order
21:18for ten shillings.
21:19Oh, no.
21:20Sorry.
21:21That's my godson's
21:22wedding present.
21:23Ah.
21:24Here.
21:26Ah, no, sir.
21:28This is a commission
21:28for the front lines.
21:30Yes.
21:31I've been awfully selfish,
21:33darling,
21:34keeping you back here
21:35instead of letting you
21:36join in the fun game.
21:38This will let you
21:39get to the front line
21:40immediately.
21:41But,
21:43but, sir,
21:44I don't want to.
21:45To leave me?
21:46Ha, ha, ha.
21:47I appreciate that, darling.
21:49But, dammit,
21:49I'll just have to enter Berlin
21:51without someone
21:51to carry my feathery hat.
21:53No, sir.
21:54I don't want
21:55to go into battle.
21:56Without me?
21:57I know.
21:58But I'm too old, darling.
22:00I'm just going to have
22:01to sit this one
22:02out on the touchline
22:03with the half-time oranges
22:04and the fat wheezy boys
22:05with a note from Matron
22:06while you young bloods
22:08link arms
22:09and go together
22:10for the glorious
22:10final scrum-down.
22:12No, sir.
22:13You're,
22:14you're not listening, sir.
22:17I'm begging you,
22:18please,
22:19for the sake
22:20of all the times
22:21I've helped you
22:22with your dicky bows
22:22and your dicky bladder.
22:24Please,
22:26don't make me...
22:27Make you go through
22:28the farewell
22:28debagging ceremony
22:30in the mess.
22:31No, I've spared you
22:33that, too,
22:33you touchingly
22:34sentimental young booby.
22:36Look,
22:37no fuss,
22:37no bother.
22:38The driver
22:39is already here.
22:42Do I...
22:43No, no,
22:44not a word, Kevin.
22:45I know what you
22:46want to say.
22:47I know.
22:49Goodbye,
22:50Kevin, darling.
22:53Goodbye, sir.
22:56It stopped raining
22:57at last, sir,
22:58begging your pardon.
22:59Looks like we might
23:00have a nice day for it.
23:01Yes,
23:01it's nearly morning.
23:03Good Lord.
23:04So it is.
23:04Right,
23:05time to make my call.
23:11Hello?
23:12Phil Marshal,
23:13Sir Douglas Haig,
23:13please.
23:14Yes,
23:15it's urgent.
23:16Haig?
23:17Hello,
23:18Sir Douglas.
23:18Who is this?
23:19Captain Blackadder,
23:21sir.
23:21First while of the
23:221945 East African
23:23Rifles.
23:24Good Lord,
23:25Blackie.
23:26Yes, sir.
23:27Haven't seen you
23:27since...
23:2892, sir.
23:29Mboto Gorge.
23:31By Jingo,
23:32yes.
23:32Oh,
23:33we sure gave
23:33those pygmies
23:34a good squashing.
23:35We...
23:35We certainly did,
23:36sir.
23:37And you remember...
23:38Oh, my God,
23:39yes.
23:39You saved my damn
23:40life that day,
23:41Blackie.
23:41If it weren't for you,
23:42that pygmy woman
23:43with the sharpened
23:44mango could have
23:44seriously...
23:45Well, thank you.
23:46And you remember
23:47then that you said
23:48that if I was ever
23:49in real trouble,
23:49if I ever really
23:50needed a favour,
23:51then I was to call you
23:52and you'd do
23:53everything you could
23:53to help me?
23:54Yes, yes,
23:55I do.
23:56Now, stick by.
23:57You know me,
23:58not a man to
23:59change my mind.
24:00No, we've
24:01noticed that.
24:02So, what do you want?
24:03Spit it out, man.
24:04Well, you see, sir.
24:05It's the big push
24:06today, and I'm not
24:08all that keen
24:09to go over the top.
24:11Oh, I see.
24:12Well?
24:13It was a viciously
24:15sharp slice of mango,
24:16wasn't it, sir?
24:18Well, this is
24:20most irregular,
24:21but, um,
24:22all right,
24:23if I do fix it
24:24for you,
24:25I never want to
24:26hear from you again.
24:26Is that clear?
24:28Suits me,
24:29Dougie.
24:31Very well.
24:32Listen carefully,
24:33blackadder.
24:33I won't repeat this.
24:34Put your underpants
24:35on your head
24:36and stick two pencils
24:37up your nose.
24:38They'll think you're crazy
24:39and send you home.
24:40Right, favour returned.
24:45I think the phrase
24:46rhymes with
24:47clucking bell.
24:54Something
24:54needs to be going
24:55over the top,
24:56now, sir.
24:58Field Marshal.
25:00Well, not, uh,
25:02not quite,
25:03blackadder.
25:03At least,
25:04not yet.
25:05No, I just wanted
25:06to let you know
25:07that I've, uh,
25:07sent a little surprise
25:08over for you.
25:10Sir.
25:14Captain Darling.
25:16Captain Blackadder.
25:17Here to join us
25:18for the last waltz?
25:20Um, yes.
25:22Tired of
25:24folding the general's
25:25pyjamas.
25:26Well, this is
25:27splendid comradely news.
25:29Together we'll fight
25:30for king and country
25:31and be sucking sausages
25:32in Berlin by tea time.
25:34Yes, I hope their cafes
25:35are well stocked.
25:36Everyone seems determined
25:38to eat out
25:38the moment they arrive.
25:41No, really, this is
25:42brave, splendid
25:43and noble.
25:46Sir?
25:46Yes, Lieutenant?
25:48I'm scared, sir.
25:51I'm scared, too, sir.
25:52I mean,
25:53I'm the last
25:54of the tiddly-winking
25:55leapfroggers
25:56from the golden
25:57summer of 1914.
25:58I don't want to die.
26:00Really,
26:01not over-keen
26:02on dying at all, sir.
26:04How are you feeling, darling?
26:08I don't want to die.
26:09not all that good,
26:10Blackadder.
26:12Rather hoped
26:13I'd get through
26:13the whole show.
26:14Go back to work
26:15at Pratt & Sons.
26:17Keep wicked
26:18for the Croydon gentleman.
26:20Married Doris.
26:23Made a note
26:24in my diary
26:24on the way here.
26:25Simply says,
26:28bugger.
26:30Well, quite.
26:32Let's move.
26:34Thanks.
26:34May it end.
26:38Don't forget
26:39your stick, Lieutenant.
26:40Rather, sir.
26:41Wouldn't want to face
26:42a machine gun
26:42without this.
26:52Listen.
26:53Our guns have stopped.
26:55You don't think...
26:56Maybe the war's over.
26:59Maybe it's peace.
27:00Oh, hurrah!
27:01The big knobs
27:02have got round the table
27:03and yanked the iron
27:04out of the fire.
27:05Thank God.
27:06We lived through it.
27:08The Great War,
27:091914 to 1917.
27:12Hip, hip, hurrah!
27:14I'm afraid not.
27:16The guns have stopped
27:17because we're about to attack.
27:20Not even our generals
27:21are mad enough
27:21to shell their own men.
27:23They think it's far more sporting
27:24to let the Germans do it.
27:26So we are, in fact,
27:27going over.
27:28This is, as they say,
27:30it.
27:30I'm afraid so.
27:31Unless I can think
27:32of something
27:33very quickly.
27:35Company,
27:36one,
27:37pace,
27:37forward.
27:40Oh, there's a nasty
27:41splinter on that ladder, sir.
27:42A bloke could hurt himself
27:43on that.
27:44Stand ready!
27:47I have a plan, sir.
27:50Well, you, Bullrich,
27:51a cunning and subtle one?
27:52Yes, sir.
27:53As cunning as a fox
27:54who's just been appointed
27:55Professor of Cunning
27:56at Oxford University?
27:58Yes, sir.
27:59On the signal,
28:00company will advance!
28:02Well, I'm afraid
28:03it'll have to wait.
28:04Whatever it was,
28:05I'm sure it was better
28:06than my plan
28:07to get out of this
28:07by pretending to be mad.
28:09I mean,
28:10who would have noticed
28:10another madman round here?
28:14Good luck, everyone.
28:55Good luck, everyone.
29:11Good luck, everyone.
29:15Good luck, everyone.
29:18Good luck, everyone.
29:19Good luck, everyone.
29:23Good luck, everyone.
29:25Good luck, everyone.
29:25Good luck, everyone.
29:25Good luck, everyone.
29:25Good luck, everyone.
29:25Good luck, everyone.
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