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Black Adder is pure British comedy gold 😂 From Rowan Atkinson’s legendary sarcasm to the chaotic historical disasters, every season delivers iconic humor, savage wit, and unforgettable moments. Whether it’s medieval schemes, royal disasters, or war-time satire, Black Adder remains one of the greatest comedy series ever made. 🇬🇧🔥
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00:03In 1486, the second year of Richard IV's historic reign, and also the year in which
00:10the egg replaced the worm as the lowest form of currency, King Richard departed England
00:15on a crusade against the Turks.
00:18As the good Lord said, love thy neighbour as thyself, unless he's Turkish, in which
00:25case, kill the bastard!
00:28He left behind him his beloved son, Prince Harry, to rule as regent in his stead.
00:33Farewell, dear Harry.
00:35Farewell, Father.
00:37And his slimy son, Edmund, to do the tasks most befitting him.
00:42Edward.
00:58My lord, with the king gone, hmm?
01:05Of course!
01:06At last, a chance for some real power.
01:11Ah!
01:12Ah!
01:13Ah!
01:14Ah!
01:15Ah!
01:19Ah!
01:19Ah!
01:29Ah!
01:31Ah!
01:35Ah!
01:36Ah!
01:45Ah!
01:50Ah!
01:52Ah!
01:54Ah!
01:54Onward, I want you scum back to the castle by sundown or you'll all be slaughtered onward
02:02Come on
02:03Come on you're going stop you were you going?
02:26Splendid! Splendid!
02:28You're not supposed to be here. That's far enough. Now get out!
02:35I could get my hands on that bastard brother Harry.
02:39Ah, Edmund!
02:44Edmund?
02:48Ah, there you are. Splendid news, Edmund. Father's coming home.
02:53He writes here that he'll be back by St Leonard's Day. Excellent!
02:57So we can celebrate both events together.
02:59Now then, I shall handle the visiting royalty of course, the guards of honour and the papal legate.
03:06And you can sort out the frolics.
03:09The frolics?
03:11Yes, the Morris dancers, the eunuchs and the bearded women.
03:15You know, the traditional St Leonard's Day entertainments.
03:19Oh, damnation. No, I don't think I'm going to have enough time to attend to the drains.
03:24Edmund?
03:24You'll have to look into those as well.
03:26Oh, yes, fine, fine. I'd be honoured.
03:30Good. You won't let me down now, will you?
03:32No, no, no, no. No, I'm really looking forward to it already.
03:36Thank you so very much.
03:38Splendid!
03:41Twelve months of chasing sheep and straightening the royal portraits.
03:48And now this, the bastard.
03:51The bastard!
03:54If only he were, my lord.
03:57What?
03:59If only he were a bastard, my lord, then you would be regent now.
04:03Ah, yes.
04:04And then one day, you would be king, my lord.
04:09Ah, yes.
04:11Yes, I would be king.
04:13And then what?
04:15You'd rule the world, my lord.
04:19Precisely.
04:20It's just not fair, you know.
04:22Every other damn woman in the court has bastard sons, but now my mother, oh no.
04:27She's so damn figure, she doesn't look down in case she nooses her own breasts.
04:32You must be so looking forward to the king's return, your master.
04:38No.
04:39No, my lady.
04:41But think he will come to your chamber and make mad, passionate love to you.
04:47Yes, I wish he wouldn't do that.
04:49It's very difficult to sleep with that kind of thing going on.
04:54Being used all night long, like the outside of a sausage roll.
04:59That's true.
05:00St. Leonard's Day, so I think she must look forward to the jesters, the jugglers.
05:06The great brown ox, steaming and smouldering all night long.
05:11Oh, yes!
05:12The feast!
05:14Sorry?
05:15I was thinking of something else.
05:18Oh, to be honest, they've got the Morris dancers.
05:20I love them.
05:22Yes.
05:24I like the eunuchs.
05:26Oh, yes!
05:27The eunuchs!
05:30Oh, I wish I owned one.
05:32I wish I'd married one.
05:35I don't know.
05:36Fine, fine.
05:37Could have happened to anyone.
05:38Never mind, never mind.
05:40Oh, God, I don't believe it.
05:44We've only got one axe and she shaved her beard off.
05:49There's always the eunuchs, my Lord.
05:51Oh, yes, sir.
05:52The eunuchs and the amazing beardless woman.
05:56There must be someone else.
05:58There must be.
05:58Look.
05:59Ah, there's the jumping Jews of Jerusalem, my Lord.
06:02What do they do?
06:03They jump, my Lord.
06:06They come in, my Lord, and they jump.
06:08A lot.
06:10It's humorous now.
06:11There must be something else, surely.
06:14Ah, what's this?
06:15The death of the Pharaoh.
06:18Sir Dominic Prick, in his magnificent stone in The Week of Moonies,
06:23performed the tragic ancient Egyptian masterpiece,
06:25The Death of the Pharaoh.
06:27That sounds funny.
06:28Oh, no, no, no.
06:29I found that very moving, my Lord.
06:31Well, it better be funny,
06:32or Prick will get his comeuppance, I can tell you.
06:34Look, what about Jerry Meriwether and his four chickens?
06:38What do they do?
06:39Lay eggs?
06:40Yes, sir.
06:42All right, all right.
06:43We'll have them, we'll have them.
06:56What is it, Mum?
06:59The eunuchs.
07:03Oh, dear.
07:04Ha!
07:05I should have known.
07:06Never trust a eunuch.
07:07What are we going to do?
07:08Well, I know what I'm going to do.
07:09Baldrick, give me an execution order.
07:12I'm going to teach them a lesson they'll never forget.
07:15And remove whatever extraneous parts of their body still remain.
07:21My Lord.
07:22Take that to the Lord Chancellor.
07:25Oh, God, this is desperate, desperate.
07:28We could have the Morris Dancers, my Lord.
07:31Now, look, we are not that desperate.
07:34Morris Dancing is the most fetuous, tenth-weight entertainment ever devised by man.
07:40Forty effeminate blacksmiths waving bits of cloth they've just wiped their noses on.
07:45How it's still going on in this day and age, I'll never know.
07:49Sorry, so do you want them or not?
07:53Ah, Edmund.
08:02And rest.
08:03How are the rest of the entertainments coming along?
08:07Oh, very, very, well, indeed.
08:10I think it's going to have a slightly Spartan look.
08:14What, Greek?
08:15Ah, yes, that's right.
08:17Yes, Greek.
08:18Oh, look, everyone turning up?
08:20Oh, absolutely, everyone.
08:22Um, so many people, in fact, I'm afraid I've had to let the eunuchs go.
08:27Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
08:30No?
08:30No, that won't do at all.
08:33Not on St. Leonard's Day.
08:35Because, well, correct me if I'm wrong, Lord Percy, but St. Leonard himself was an eunuch.
08:43Yes, that's right.
08:49Well, that's why I thought it might be more tactful.
08:52Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
08:54To leave out the eunuchs on St. Leonard's Day would be like, well, it would be like leaving out the
08:58Morris dancers or the bearded women.
09:03Besides, Lord Dougal McCangless, the king's supreme commander, is expected at the feast.
09:08And as you know, eunuchs are his particular favourite.
09:13Hmm?
09:14Scottish, you see.
09:17Ah.
09:18Good, good.
09:19Well, I'm relying on you, Edmund.
09:21Hang on.
09:25So!
09:27Some carrot-faced, thistle-arsed Scottish orangutan!
09:34Apparently he's a great warrior, my lord.
09:35Oh, yes, that's what they all say.
09:37Those Scots, they're just barbarians.
09:39Half of them can't even speak English.
09:41What do they speak?
09:42I don't know.
09:43It's all Greek to me.
09:44Do they speak Greek?
09:46No, I mean, it sounds like Greek.
09:49Well, if it sounds like Greek, it probably is Greek.
09:51It's not Greek.
09:54It sounds like Greek.
09:57What's not Greek, but sounds like Greek.
09:59That's a good one, my lord.
10:01Look, it's not meant to be a brain teaser, Percy.
10:03I'm going to tell you that I cannot understand the blind word they're saying.
10:07Well, no wonder, my lord, you never learn Greek, of course.
10:12Percy, have you ever wondered what your insides look like?
10:17Sometimes, my lord, yes.
10:18Then I'd be perfectly willing to satisfy your curiosity.
10:21Is it?
10:22Oh, my God, this Scotsman's beginning to annoy me already.
10:25I'm the Duke of Edinburgh, you know.
10:28When Laird of Rooksborough, Selkirk and Peebles,
10:31I can make things very difficult for him.
10:33As for these entertainments, I don't know.
10:36Baldrick, you've got a beard.
10:38Go and get yourself a nice dress.
10:40Oh, great, my lord.
10:41Percy, you'd better go and get...
10:43Burn a good bear baiter.
10:45Yes, my lord.
10:46Looks like we'll be needing him.
10:47Now, Percy.
10:48Yes, my lord.
10:49Tell him to bring a bear this time.
10:53The improvising last year was pathetic.
10:58Now, Mother, a toast.
11:00Two fathers return.
11:03What the devil?
11:07hand, coward take care with me.
11:09Oh, camel,�ila.
11:17Now, Winkangus!
11:18Double Harry, Prince of Wales!
11:20Tug all my kagans' greets
11:21you and lays at your feet
11:22the spoils of an enemy at war.
11:26Oh, sorry, that's my overnight bag.
11:30Behold, treasure's torn from the torsos of the top.
11:33Oh, my kangus, it fills me with joy and hope to see you.
11:38What news of my father the king?
11:40When I last saw him, he swore he would be back by the feast of St Leonard and die near
11:44Teb.
11:44God for fiend, we shall pray for his safe passions.
11:47Join us, join us, you must be starving.
11:50And young Lachinvar.
11:51Oh, yes, and him too.
11:52Come on, Lachinvar.
12:02You must be the king's wee bit of rumpy-pumpy, eh?
12:05I am the king.
12:06Aye, aye.
12:07Well, I've got a message for you.
12:08My father asked me to send his regards to you.
12:11Do I know him?
12:12Oh, I think you can say that, yes.
12:14He's Donald McAngus, third Duke of Argyle.
12:21Ah, Edmund, there you are.
12:22McAngus, this is the man who's providing the entertainments for us tomorrow.
12:26Ah, the eunuch.
12:28What do you like to do?
12:29Here, there's a grope for your trouble.
12:33Er, I am not a eunuch.
12:36Oh, you sound like wine to me.
12:37I am not a eunuch.
12:39I am the Duke of Edinburgh.
12:41Oh, you are, are you?
12:43Yes.
12:44Same old story, eh?
12:46Duke of Edinburgh had about as Scottish as the Queen of England's tits.
12:49Oh, sorry, eh.
12:50May offend, Your Majesty.
12:52I'm sorry, you're in my chair.
12:55Don't apologise.
12:59Well, now we've all got to know each other, I have rather a special announcement to make.
13:05Well, tell me you're a eunuch as well.
13:06Look, Angus.
13:07As reward for your heroic deeds in battle, my father here empowers me to grant you anything that you may
13:14desire of me.
13:15Have you got any sense? He'll ask for a haircut.
13:18What?
13:19I'm honoured.
13:21Only ask for is a scrap of land.
13:23Grant me fair Selkirk and the noble sire of Roxburgh.
13:26What?
13:27Very well, by the power vested in me.
13:29Excuse me.
13:30Um, I'm sorry to dip my little fly in your ointment, but those lands do in fact belong to me.
13:38Yes.
13:39Well, so perhaps, perhaps he'd like to choose somewhere else.
13:43Look, Angus, not all of Roxburgh and Selkirk.
13:47But that leaves me with peebles.
13:49Oh, yeah, and peebles.
13:51Are you trying to say something, Edmund?
13:53Well, I don't know.
13:54I mean, some people might say, well, what an absurd idea, giving away half of Scotland to a kilted maniac
14:01for slaughtering a couple of syphilitic Turks.
14:05Oh, I swear.
14:08I say, let's reward him.
14:11Good, good.
14:13So be it.
14:17Hooray.
14:25I'm going to kill him, and I'm going to kill him now.
14:28Who, my lord?
14:29That stinking Scottish weasel.
14:31Why, my lord?
14:32Because he's a thieving, stinking Scottish weasel.
14:34That's why.
14:35How?
14:36I'm going to stab him.
14:37Where?
14:38In the great hall, and in the bladder.
14:42But if you do it in front of everybody, won't they suspect something?
14:47There's a drawback.
14:51Yes, perhaps we need something a little more cunning.
14:58I have a cunning plan.
15:00Yes, perhaps, but I think I may have a more cunning one.
15:02Oh, mine's pretty cunning, my lord.
15:03Yes, but not cunning enough, I mentioned.
15:05Well, it depends how cunning you mean, my lord.
15:06Well, I'm pretty damn cunning.
15:07How cunning do you think I mean?
15:08Oh, mine's quite cunning, my lord.
15:10All right, then, let's hear it.
15:11Let's hear what's so damn cunning.
15:14Right, well, first of all, you get him to come with you.
15:16Oh, yes, very cunning, brilliantly cunning.
15:18I ask him to come with me and then stab him, perhaps.
15:21Oh, cunning can you get it?
15:22No, my lord, you get this enormous great cannon.
15:24Oh, I see.
15:25Take him outside, get him to stick his head down a cannon,
15:28then blow it off.
15:29Oh, yes, Morbignot, a wonderful idea.
15:34No, I think I have a plan that will give us a little more entertainment.
15:41Ha!
15:42Ha!
15:42Ha!
15:44Ha!
16:13Ha!
16:15Ha!
16:16Ha!
16:25Oh, my God.
16:47Oh, my God.
17:19Oh, my God.
17:20I'm not in your way over here.
17:22No.
17:28Oh, there is just one thing.
17:31I was wondering if you could do me a little favor.
17:37Uh-huh.
17:38Um, I was wondering if you'd like to help with the celebrations tonight.
17:43Oh, but stay away, do you mean?
17:52Um, well, the thing is, um, we were hoping to present a mystery play by one of our leading thespianic
18:02troops.
18:02Um, but unfortunately, one of their number is ill, um, and I thought you'd be the perfect person to take
18:12his place.
18:12Well, I warn you, I'm no actor.
18:18Well, there shouldn't be much acting required.
18:21Um, it's an ancient Egyptian piece, uh, called The Death of the Scotsman.
18:32You, uh, you can play the Scotsman, if you like, who, who dies at the end of the play.
18:39Oh, acting dead.
18:41Now, that I can do.
18:42Yes, well, as I say, there, there may not be much acting required.
18:53Oh, and, uh, mind the weasel pit.
18:55Oh!
18:56Oh!
19:00Oh, my God.
19:29Oh, the tree. Let's see those branches waving and swaying the breeze.
19:33All, all, all, all. Now, smaller. Small, smaller, smaller, smaller, smaller, smaller.
19:37Have you made necessary changes?
19:40Yes, my Lord.
19:46My Genghis.
19:49Meet your learners.
19:59How did it go?
20:01Not bad.
20:03You know, I don't really think they understood it.
20:09We three are gathered with most bold intent.
20:13Here by the banks of the graceful Nile.
20:17Where camels ride and deserts blow.
20:21For spill the blood of this Scotsman vial.
20:23What is a Scotsman doing in Egypt?
20:27I'm not sure.
20:28But apparently they've had very good reviews.
20:31So, your mother there?
20:32I let my father on the way back from France.
20:35Apparently him and your mother used to...
20:38No, don't be absurd.
20:40Such activities are totally beyond my mother.
20:43My father only got anywhere with her because he told me it was a cure for diarrhea.
20:48Don't you believe it?
20:48I've got some letters I took for his tent.
20:51By God, they're hot stuff.
20:52I'll tell you, they certainly cast a wee shadow of doubt over the parent who'd a young Harry for a
20:57start.
20:58Don't doubt be a...
20:59Silence.
21:00What?
21:01A bagpipe strums.
21:03Behold, this way our victim comes.
21:06Oh, that's my cue.
21:07Come on.
21:08Litters, litters.
21:09Where are these litters?
21:10They're safe for heading away.
21:12I'll show you them later.
21:13All right.
21:14The mighty Ben Nettles.
21:18To some common person, you come not a whit too soon.
21:22For is this not the weather fair?
21:24For this the Ige of June?
21:27Aye.
21:28It is.
21:30What business do you mean?
21:34Quick.
21:34Oh, my God.
21:35My canvas is going to die.
21:37Oh, I am.
21:37Oh, my God.
21:38Carrot-faced orangutan.
21:40Leaving scouts, weasel.
21:41Die.
21:42For a scart.
21:43No, no, look.
21:44No, look.
21:44He knows too much.
21:46That is why he must die.
21:48No, look.
21:49He mustn't.
21:49He mustn't.
21:50He has vital information.
21:51I've changed my mind.
21:53I've changed my mind.
21:53Oh, my God.
21:54What am I going to do?
21:56Stop the show, my lord.
21:57How?
21:57How?
21:58Well, just say stop.
21:59What's our reason?
22:00What's our reason for stopping the show?
22:02Because the knives are real and the kangas is just about to get killed.
22:05Oh, you bastard.
22:10What a mortal queen.
22:11What a mortal queen.
22:12What a mortal queen.
22:16Oh, Pat.
22:19Sorry I'm late.
22:21Yes.
22:24All right.
22:35good excellent it's certainly my mother's handwriting when did you say
22:39these words 1460 yeah my brother was born get in here
22:50public get out there and tell everyone that the rest of the entertainment have
22:54been cancelled why why would I tell you to be serious about now why have they been
22:58cancelled my lord 30 well I have a very important announcement
23:03to make
23:07does that mean I have to take the dress off
23:15no if you played your cards right you could become king yes one day
23:20yeah someone you think baby it's the last time I saw your father you just
23:24charge that he Constantinople when they shut the gates on no yes 10,000 of the
23:30Turk in their arm with cimeters and your father with a small knife for peeling
23:43fruit
23:44Jerry Meriwether another nail in the coffin of variety
23:53thank you thank you look Edmund is this announcement going to take long I haven't
23:59seen hide nor hair of a eunuch yet oh don't worry Harry it will soon all be over
24:06my dear mother my dear brother lords and ladies of the court today they came into my possession from the
24:16hands my lord of your faithful servant Dougal McAngus certain letters rather
24:23extraordinary letters concerning the lineage of Prince Harry
24:29letters what is so extraordinary about them
24:34letters well Harry they were written by your mother to your father
24:42your father Harry being of course Donald Sir Duke of Argyle
24:47I beg your pardon
24:48these letters are of quite an intimate nature let me give you an example
24:54Arundel Thursday my dear hairy wary
24:57often as you sit at table with my husband probing deeply into the affairs of state I long for the
25:05day when you will probe
25:07Edmund are you sure you know what to say as sure as our mother was Harry when she wrote these
25:13words
25:14dear big boy
25:16sail south
25:17as you know your galleon is always assured a warm welcome in my harbour
25:24big boy
25:26mother do you know anything about this
25:28well what chance did I have I was just a little foreign girl
25:32then I must renounce the regency
25:35and high me to a monastery
25:37Edmund you shall be regent until your father returns
25:42the king will not be returning
25:44what
25:45oh dear
25:46no when Angus last saw him
25:49he was facing half the Turkish army
25:51armed only with a small piece of cutlery
25:54so
25:55if you'd like to start things off
25:57the king is dead
25:59long live the king
26:01the king is dead
26:03long live the king
26:05probably dead
26:06the king is probably dead
26:09long live the king
26:11the king is probably dead
26:13long live the king
26:15the king
26:17not dead
26:19long live the king
26:23the king
26:25death
26:26war
26:27rapey papi
26:29triumph
26:32macandus
26:34my companion in blood
26:37and most trusted friend
26:39you made it
26:40yes
26:41I made it
26:42thanks to my trusty fruit life
26:52wait a minute what's going on here who are you he's our son what yes my beloved father
27:11certain letters have come to light which might change things a bit around here
27:17letters what letters they speak of acts of love between your wife and Donald the gay dog of the
27:25Glenn I long to be in that kingdom between the saffron sheets where you and your ruler are the
27:33only ruler and then acts of love consummated oh you enormous Scotsman
27:39and these letters are dated November and December 1460 which Harry in relation to your date of birth
27:47is precisely nine months after I was born
27:55for about nine months before your birth Edmund
28:03you bastard no I think you're the bastard Edmund
28:10silence I want an explanation
28:15my leech the reason I have gathered you all here today is to try to get some proper justice
28:24meted out against this Scottish turd who has clearly forged these obviously fake letters
28:30let me see them no I rip them up in his face so no hint of that filthy slander can
28:36remain
28:41you come in here fresh from slaughtering a couple of chocos when their backs were turned
28:47and you think you can upset the harmony of a whole kingdom I challenge you to a duel to the
28:54death
28:54um yes all right excellent idea after all it is St. Leonard's day there's meant to be some
29:03entertainment
29:06oh
29:06very good take your pleasures
29:16your neighbor can go spend your time with the feet of the human set
29:19he got me
29:23very well
29:25let the killing begin
29:52Come on, what's the hold up?
29:54I'll give you everything I own, everything.
29:59I'm hardly a rich man.
30:01You're hardly a man at all.
30:04But my horse must be worth a thousand ducats.
30:08I can sell my wardrobe, the pride of my life, my swords, my curtains, my socks and my fighting
30:15cocks.
30:16My servants I can live without, except perhaps he who oils my rack.
30:22And then my most intimate treasures, my collection of antique codpieces, my wigs for stator
30:28occasions, my wigs for private occasions and my wigs for humorous occasions.
30:33My collection of pokers, my Grendel stretchers, my ornamental Pumphreys.
30:40And of course, my autographed miniature of Judas Iscariot.
30:51That's nowhere near enough.
30:53Ah!
30:54Ah!
30:55Ah!
30:55Holy kid!
30:57Actually, I'm quite interested in the wigs.
30:59Ah!
30:59Ah!
31:03Ah!
31:04Ah!
31:05Ah!
31:06Ah!
31:09Ah!
31:09Ah!
31:09Ah!
31:10Ah!
31:11Ah!
31:13trabalh
31:13Ah!
31:15Ah!
31:15Ah!
31:16Ah!
31:17Ah!
31:21we're all terribly pleased your back father I'm not I miss the smell of
31:26blood in my nostrils the Queen's got a headache but we do have a fascinating
31:33week ahead and in fact the Archbishop of York has asked me if you'd care to join
31:37his formation Italian dance class and I really ought to give him an answer do
31:42you want me to be honest or tactful tactful I think tell him to get stuffed as a
31:49little hooligan the Kangas left no Edmund's giving my last look around the
31:53castle now while this well I'll be sorry to see him go very interesting yes and so
32:02will Edmund they've become the Turks the drains father Harry there's been rather
32:12a messy accident you must come for me
32:14Oh my god I should need my plunger
32:21the sound of hoofbeats cross the glade
32:24good folk lock up your son and daughter
32:28beware the deadly flashing blade
32:33unless you want to end up shorter
32:36black
32:38black
32:38black
32:39black
32:39Blackadder, he rides a pitch black steed
32:46Blackadder, Blackadder, he's very bad indeed
32:53Black, his glove's our finest mole
32:56Black, his codpiece made of metal
33:00His horse is blacker than a vole
33:04His heart is blacker than his cattle
33:08Blackadder, Blackadder, with many a cunning plan
33:16Blackadder, Blackadder, you horrid little man
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