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  • 21 hours ago

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Fun
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00:02all right see you later okay have fun driving your little scooters they're not scooters okay
00:08they're professional go-karts you know you know they're go-karts whatever look look at me andy's
00:18the one who wants to go he's all excited about it i don't want to go ray i heard you
00:22making
00:23vroom vroom noises in the back
00:27what are you listening to me in there for read a book
00:32hey good news rayman they had the meat lovers pizza special today you order one meat lovers
00:37you get another free meat lovers
00:41you know after breaking up with amy i know you swore off women but i don't think turning to meat
00:46is the answer yeah very funny that's a good one i got side salads and wings too all for the
00:52big game
00:53all right so i'll fire up the satellite because the food's gonna be here right in a minute
01:00oh man robert i completely forgot about this me and andy we gotta go to work
01:11what uh on a saturday yeah saturday tell me about it we we lost our columns in the computer
01:18apparently some janitor he spilled coffee on the mother board
01:30all right okay well you know maybe we'll do it next week huh yeah definitely next week don't
01:36even try to get out of it we're doing this next week okay yeah all right look you mind if
01:41i use the
01:42phone no no go ahead why can't robert go with you oh yeah right why don't i bring you too
02:08what are you doing that book is boring
02:14oh you should read more often
02:20ray hey ray you upstairs yeah but we're reading
02:34dad let's go your brother's in the hospital what happened what do you mean i don't know he's in the
02:39hospital queen's hospital but why he was on duty he got hurt that's all they would tell me
02:44let's go oh my god come on mr scarpool is coming over she'll watch the kids
02:48i'll meet you at the car okay oh my god
02:51robert oh my baby oh hi ma how you doing son are you okay what happened you look okay yeah
03:05i'll be fine
03:05oh robert oh never be careful are you okay i didn't hurt you no no i'm okay hugging is fine
03:12oh god oh oh what happened were you shocked no switchblade no who did this tell me who did this
03:23to
03:23you what are you gonna do mom you'd be surprised all right all right back it up let's back it
03:30up a
03:30little some guys were running a rodeo and we got the call to shut them down wait a minute rodeo
03:36what is that police talk for whorehouse
03:40no it was a real rodeo the rootin tootin rodeo in new york in queens it was an illegal rodeo
03:49see
03:49these guys set them up in parking lots with animals rides music this city's got everything
03:56so we roll in and everyone scatters and we're running after them and then we realize some of
04:02the animals were heading down queen's boulevard so i took off after the horses you always wanted
04:09a pony all right wow nobody cares about that what happened to you well the horses were too fast
04:18so i gave up and then i hear boom boom and i look over and there he is who a
04:27bull
04:29a bull a bull yep a big old bull
04:35he was tied to a telephone pole but he broke loose and then he started heading right for judy
04:40oh my god what happened well i i yelled hey hey bull
04:48i i don't know i i guess i distracted him because he stopped cold and then he turned
04:57and then he started coming for me oh no oh yeah it was like that wall street ad
05:03oh that malt liquor commercial yeah so he's coming towards me right did you get away
05:32i'm telling you the ground it shook why didn't you run
05:43i did run dad i don't know if you've ever been in this situation before but the first thing that
05:49comes to mind is run
05:54so i'm running and running and he's getting closer and closer and then his horn gets me
06:01and my feet are off the ground like like i'm flying incredibly painful flying
06:08and then he tosses me aside like a sock and i'm on the pavement and he gives me a couple
06:15of snorts and
06:15lumbers up the ramp and into his trailer
06:20unbelievable you were gored by a freaking bull
06:27holy crap
06:29what did he get you in my adductor magnus your what it's my upper thigh area
06:42sounds like he's got you in the ass
06:46i got i'm not laughing it's horrible it's horrible i'm not laughing it's upper thigh
06:54oh i hate all this police business i always knew i'd get this call
06:59really uh your son has been gored in the ass by a bull call
07:06it's upper thigh
07:09your job is so dangerous they should have prepared you better
07:12yeah they should have started you out as one of those clowns in the barrel
07:18you know enough already this is a serious injury and i don't see you taking a bull for your partner
07:27hello officer barone i just need to check your id
07:34do you realize in a group that includes your father you're being the most insensitive
07:42yeah i don't know what's wrong with that he must be tired
07:47come on he's okay laughter is the best medicine right i'm i'm keeping it loose i'm keeping it light
07:56how about keeping it shut
07:59see you're funny you should get in there with me
08:04if you're going to sustain a puncture wound the best place is actually a fleshy area like the rump
08:13you know i'm getting a little tired i really think that's enough visiting for today all right
08:19you rest sweetheart okay see you tomorrow all right there son take it easy good job
08:35no don't don't try and move so much i'll be back a little later robert this will teach you to
08:40pick
08:40up an extra shift huh yeah really all right i'll see you guys huh wait a minute what what you
08:46mean
08:46extra shift well he said you had to work so he came in early see you okay we'll see you
08:53robert you
08:53feel better okay okay thanks deb okay yeah yeah feel better all right robert
09:03oh my god what's all my fault it's my fault stupid go-karts
09:11for the rest of my life i'm gonna have robert's ass hanging over my head
09:21all right let's get back to bed now oh oh oh oh oh i'm hating this i'm hating this
09:32hey robert how you doing yeah i'm doing great raymond i was just showing her a magic trick
09:48you look great and hey guess what from your past a special special lady oh god
10:02hi robert amy hi
10:09you know what i'm gonna get you a bigger seepage pad
10:17thank you
10:22robert i heard about what happened yeah well nice to see you again amy you too
10:30i'll be back later don't forget to fill out your menu remember you're on a soft diet
10:37correct me if i'm wrong sounds to me like someone can have all the soup he wants huh
10:45there's nothing in the world like soup
10:49well stew stew is like soup
10:55so you're looking well i read about you in the paper you're famous great
11:05look at this amy the animal rights people sent uh sent robert a thank you for the humane way that
11:11he
11:12stopped the bull
11:15all right raymond look amy it was nice of you to stop by huh oh okay i guess you should
11:24get your
11:24rest get better all right that's what i'm here for
11:34that was great seeing amy again huh
11:38yeah once we stopped dating i was worried i wouldn't get to be humiliated in front of
11:42her anymore
11:46so i heard you're you're packing up going home soon that's good i'm not going home
11:52what do you mean why not i can barely hobble ray i can't take care of myself
11:58i have to move in with mom and dad tomorrow oh god that's right
12:07all right come on cheer up come on cheer up cheer up cheer up or i'm gonna get you
12:33all right
12:34all right uh look i gotta tell you something
12:42when you took the extra shift because i didn't watch the ball game with you i know that you thought
12:49i had to go to work but see i kind of forgot that we had plans and i didn't want
12:55to hurt your feelings so
12:56i i told you i had to work but really i went with andy to drive go-karts
13:07why are you telling me this what do you mean i feel bad i want you to know you want
13:13me to know that yeah
13:16yeah yeah and to give you this get well soon card yeah see the monkey slipped on the banana
13:26i got it because looks like he hurt his upper thigh
13:40so you want to make me feel better of course i do what what do you think i think you
13:45want to make
13:46you feel better what all this ray your little telethon here the balloons and the guest stars this
13:55is because you feel guilty and then by telling me that you dumped me so so you could sit in
13:59a bumper
14:00car with andy how's that supposed to make me feel better go-kart
14:11well as long as you feel better good night raymond all right well listen i said good night but i
14:18don't i don't feel
14:23come on robert come on robert you can't do this here okay there you're gonna end up in the basement
14:35with a tag on your toe
14:40i'm telling you i did what you said i went over there i gave him compassion told him how i
14:46felt made
14:47it worse nice going and how exactly did you show your compassion with balloons did you tell him that
14:59you care about him it said it on the balloon you're number one why don't you try actually telling him
15:06that you care about him all right look don't get all girly on me okay he's my brother he doesn't
15:12know
15:12that you care about him he knows he knows i would do anything for him yeah and he knows because
15:17you
15:18dumped him for andy because you told him you dumped him for andy or because you feel bad that he's
15:24mad at
15:24you for telling him that you dumped him for andy first of all nobody likes a mock multiple choice
15:39and therefore there will be no second of all
15:55hey robert busy
16:02what do you want yeah just to hang out
16:07uh my old room
16:12i'm glad someone else can enjoy it
16:17yeah you get the stereo vcr
16:20got a nice setup here yeah walkie talking
16:25what's the eta on that apple juice
16:30apple juice coming up
16:36hey robert i got all the papers you've been in the last few days
16:40i've seen them here's my favorite runaway bull cop gets horny
16:53i think it's clever
16:58and it's just uh headlines nobody reads that really
17:02here's your apple juice dear all right i'm going to the store to get you some more yodels
17:07do you want anything else to you my dignity
17:12silly
17:19listen uh
17:23i just want you to know
17:27that you know i'm sorry about what happened to you
17:32and you know
17:36you're my brother and
17:38i really care about you
17:42i told you to say that deborah
17:46no
17:47what do you mean of course not i'm just i'm
17:51i'm telling you how i feel about you and what you say doesn't matter raymond okay just go
17:55well come on
17:57ma
17:58what are you gonna do get her to throw me out
18:00i just need her ma do you copy
18:03she went to get your stinking yodels
18:07what do you want what is it i'll do whatever you want
18:11three o'clock i need my bandage changed
18:15ma come in
18:19relax raymond
18:21i can do it myself it's bothering me listen i'll do whatever else you want
18:27just not good with the body in general
18:31preferred to remain a wondrous mystery
18:34i'm not asking you to raymond
18:37you know mom's gonna be back real soon
18:40forget it
18:46all right all right come on let's move you over what are you doing i said you didn't have to
18:51i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i want to do it
18:57how do you do it
19:01you're gonna change my band that's right it's the upper thigh right
19:08okay the fresh ones are over there
19:19i guess this is this is my payback for not changing enough diapers
19:25are you gonna do it or not yeah yeah what do i do
19:30just lift up the plastic and take the old bandage off okay
19:41it's kind of like christmas morning
19:51if i was really bad
20:06what's the matter
20:07nothing it's uh it's just big bull
20:15yeah
20:18yeah what what do i do now
20:22put on the new bandage and just pull the plastic over
20:31i don't know i hope i'm i hope i'm doing this right
20:38you're doing good raymond yeah
20:40doing good
20:55thanks
20:59hey where are my keys
21:16good
21:16good yodel huh
21:18yeah but this one's hard to peel
21:21little pieces man little pieces
21:27coming up on news two at 11 we have exclusive home video of a police chase
21:31only this time the police are being chased by a bull
21:41you won't believe it all that more coming up on news two
21:59you look good
22:08you
22:13you
22:14you
22:14you
22:14you
22:14you
22:15you
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