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00:03hello Raylan oh hi ma how's your book coming good yeah it is so exciting to
00:11see you writing a book thanks thank you ma does it have to be about sports yeah
00:20well it's either that or about mothers who can't let go listen Deborah mentioned
00:28you might need someone to help you get organized oh she did yeah yeah is that
00:35nice how she mentions things to you listen mom I appreciate the offer but I
00:42don't I don't know no it's not me Raymond although I'd be a terrific gal Friday
00:49oh it's I was thinking about your cousin Gerard Gerard oh I don't like Gerard yes
00:56you do isn't he always in the hospital well he's a fragile boy I mean he has allergies and he
01:06has a
01:06poor sense of balance but he's much better now I don't I don't need anybody ma especially Gerard
01:13I happen to know that Gerard is a very responsible young man and he's exactly what you need and I
01:20owe
01:20his mother well you know when Robert got divorced she set him up with Melissa I don't think he owes
01:29someone for setting up for a guy with his own cousin it was just to talk they had a lot
01:35in common yeah DNA
01:49I think you could do this one thing for me while I'm still here you mean in the basement all
02:00right relax don't go anywhere I mean spiritually physically get the hell out I'll answer it
02:06you ask him yeah yeah all right yeah okay tell him to call me tomorrow
02:12Gerard come on down
02:15he's here
02:33hiya raymond
02:37hiya drug
02:42so you're uh you're out of the hospital yeah yeah that's good that's good that's great
02:53raven
02:57so uh Gerard would you uh be interested in uh help me out around here
03:05uh okay yeah okay all right all right well I'll leave you two buddies to get to work
03:14I'll be right across the street if you need me okay thank you mom okay oh and Gerard don't forget
03:19to tell your mother that we're even now
03:34do you mind if I sit sometimes my legs give out unexpectedly
03:39yeah yeah go ahead you know you don't have to do this if you don't want to what do you
03:45mean
03:46well I mean you know you shouldn't be forced into doing something that you don't want to do
03:50I'm not gonna have to do anything weird am I
03:53what no no no no no no I mean we are in a basement
03:59remember when you had that idea we were seven
04:09all right
04:10all right so we're gonna do this good
04:13uh so the book I'm writing it's about baseball you follow baseball
04:18you want me to say yes don't you
04:22I'm just asking
04:25yes
04:29okay uh I was thinking you know what you could do is read what I've already done and kind of
04:34proofread it
04:34oh no but I gotta stand on my shirt I wanted to make a good impression I suck
04:52okay so all you gotta do is kind of just check for spelling and punctuation you know here you know
04:56just highlight anything that you see is wrong that's all
05:03oh boy
05:05what already found something already
05:07do I have to use this highlighter
05:10what what's wrong
05:11this is really throwing off fumes
05:16I'm getting high here
05:21what do you want
05:23how about that red pencil
05:25I'm using it I'm using the red pencil
05:28okay listen you're the boss
05:37thank you
05:38it was sandy koufax nolan ryan to name a few
05:46well these men are no
05:48and what are you doing
05:49yeah it's nothing it's good whatever
05:52and uh
05:53wait Gerard if there's something wrong you gotta tell me
05:56no it's just I don't know
05:58doesn't whore have a w
06:01what are you talking about
06:02you called some guy a whore in here
06:04wait wait wait a minute wait a minute
06:05wait a minute I don't I don't
06:07I don't call him a whore
06:08yes you do
06:09Lou Gehrig was the iron whore
06:12h-o-r-e
06:14horse
06:15I forgot the s
06:16he was the iron horse
06:20that doesn't make sense either
06:23but that's good that's a typo
06:25that's a typo thanks
06:26yeah but you would have found it eventually
06:28no but but you found it
06:29or someone else would have
06:31Gerard you you did it
06:32you found something you're doing good
06:34I might have missed something else
06:36though I think I was distracted by that whore
06:39it's not it's not whore
06:41I don't write whore in my book
06:57hey how did it go with Gerard today
06:59yeah thanks for mentioning things to my mom pepper squat
07:05can't get any work done
07:07he he's allergic to the pen and keeps asking me stupid questions
07:13gotta just give the guy a chance you know
07:15you try spending the day in the basement with him
07:20he's always got something negative to say about everything
07:23even when I compliment him
07:24and he keeps complaining in that nasal whiny voice
07:31oh no I spilled white out
07:38what?
07:40you could be twins
07:44what?
07:45he sounds just like you
07:48doesn't
07:49yeah yeah yeah that's you
07:50oh I spilled a white out
07:52yeah yeah that's me
07:55that's not
07:56as a matter of fact
07:59what?
08:00what?
08:01what?
08:02what were you gonna say?
08:03something about the kids
08:07you really think that I'm his twin
08:09no Ray
08:10I was just kidding
08:12no you weren't
08:13what were you gonna say?
08:15it's just that
08:16I noticed
08:17your heads are kind of the same shape
08:23heads
08:34oh no I spilled white out
08:43oh my god I am Gerard
08:47no you're not Ray
08:49hey I'm not blind
08:51I can see and hear it
08:52no you're from the same family
08:54okay
08:55so you sound a little bit of like
08:57you have a few similar mannerisms
08:58your head shape is a tiny bit the same
09:01but you're two completely different people
09:03you're not Gerard
09:05I know I know
09:07I know I know I know I know
09:08I know
09:11goodnight
09:12goodnight
09:13alright
09:16you're a much better kisser
09:21that's you know
09:23that's not even funny
09:25you hear me?
09:26I'm just kidding you
09:28goodnight
09:29yeah alright
09:29I'm just saying
09:31it's not even funny
09:37you got your uncle's butt
09:51so you don't live here anymore?
09:53no no I've had my own place for about a year now
09:56you?
09:57yeah 12 years I've been on my own
09:59eight if you don't count the hospitals
10:04hey
10:04huh
10:05hiya Raymond
10:07hiya Gerard
10:08uh good morning cousin
10:10yeah
10:12hello Raymond
10:13you hungry dear?
10:15I'm making some eggs for you too
10:16is that my shirt?
10:18oh well he had a stain on his other one
10:23all done Aunt Marie
10:24do you mind if I visit your restroom?
10:26no
10:26good
10:26be careful in there alright
10:29cause you're not getting my pants
10:33where is he going?
10:35take a wild guess
10:37again?
10:38what is he on the installment plan?
10:42Marie how long is he gonna be around?
10:44ugh I don't know
10:45when are you gonna be finished with your book Raymond?
10:49I don't know
10:49geez Alou
10:50I can't take it anymore
10:52I'll tell you something
10:53my relationship with his mother is not worth this
10:56hey oh wait a minute
10:58you're the one who told me to
10:59I know
10:59but he's such a mopey fellow
11:03oh no
11:04my legs bother me
11:07oh
11:14wait a minute
11:15wait a minute
11:17he's not that bad
11:19he's a schmo
11:22he's got no zest for life
11:24I mean he's very negative
11:26how did you put it Robbie?
11:29loser
11:33and he only comes over here to eat
11:35your eggs are ready dear
11:40you know Debra thinks
11:41that I'm a lot like him
11:48what the hell was that?
11:50what dear?
11:51it was like time froze there
11:53for a second
11:54and
11:55and when
11:56what are you laughing at?
12:01you agree with Debra?
12:02no not at all dear
12:04it's just that
12:05did now that you mention
12:09it's uncanny
12:13you think I'm like him
12:14and you think he's annoying
12:15so you think I'm annoying
12:16I believe that's the transitive property
12:20there is something
12:21oh Raymond
12:22nobody says you're annoying
12:24you're just blowing this whole thing out of proportion
12:26well am I?
12:27yeah
12:28I don't hate you
12:31I wonder why that is
12:34just say it
12:35I'm annoying
12:36right?
12:37I got the same nasal voice
12:39I look droopy like him
12:41I'm negative
12:41no no no no
12:42I know all that
12:46it's just it's different with you
12:48I
12:48damned if I know what it is though
12:50I know what it is
12:52you're our son
12:55that's it
12:57wait what does that mean?
12:59I don't know
13:00we're used to you
13:01used to me
13:02yes
13:03this means you are annoying
13:04we've just developed a tolerance for you
13:11tolerance for me
13:13you tolerate me
13:16goodbye everybody
13:16hey
13:17hey
13:18don't get mad at us
13:19come on
13:19he's right dear
13:20you're the one who came over here
13:21asking us if you're annoying
13:23which
13:24in and of itself
13:25is quite annoying
13:28why huh?
13:29why is that annoying
13:31Robert?
13:33because you already know the answer
13:37see that's you all over
13:39Debra already told you yesterday
13:41you were like Gerard right?
13:43but is that good enough for you?
13:45no
13:45you have to check with everybody else
13:49poll the world
13:51oh they won't mind
13:52because no one else
13:54is really important
13:56are they Raymond?
13:59what do you think?
14:00we're just hanging on hooks over here
14:01waiting for you to stop by
14:03hi
14:04hi
14:05hi
14:05hi
14:05my mom says next time
14:07they're working on my sinuses
14:08they should do a whole nose job
14:10what do you think?
14:14well we were having a conversation
14:16about something else
14:17but we could stop
14:18to address your concerns
14:20Gerard
14:24hey
14:24Robert
14:25you really want to see annoying
14:26why don't you check in the mirror
14:29bravo
14:40alright break's over
14:41everybody back on the hooks
14:47hi Daddy
14:48hi Daddy
14:49hi
14:49hi
14:49hi Dad
14:52you forgot something about last night
14:54what?
14:55that I'm annoying
14:56what?
14:57yeah like you don't know
14:58now you're there
14:59hi Gerard
15:00now you're kids
15:04got your nose
15:08can I be excused?
15:18well Raymond
15:18I'm punching in
15:19I'll be down in the salt mine
15:21okay
15:22I'll be down in a little while
15:25alright I'm firing him
15:28why?
15:29why?
15:29because everybody hates me
15:31and before he got here
15:32they didn't know that
15:34oh so you're gonna take it out
15:36on that poor guy?
15:38yeah
15:39can I make a suggestion?
15:41you want to fire him?
15:43no but if there's something
15:45about yourself
15:45that's bothering you
15:47then why don't you
15:48work on you?
15:51why do I talk to you?
15:54why do I talk to you?
16:16hey
16:16oh hey
16:17sorry
16:18is there a song you like?
16:22no no
16:27listen Gerard
16:28oh boy
16:29what?
16:30you're firing me?
16:33what?
16:34it's just every time in my life
16:35someone has said
16:36listen Gerard
16:37it's either I'm being fired
16:38or there's a medical complication
16:44no no no no
16:47no no
16:47no no
16:47I just wanted to
16:48talk you know
16:49just
16:50talk
16:51okay
16:51yeah
16:54okay um
16:56I just wanted to apologize
16:59you know
16:59because I've been kind of
17:00grumpy
17:01with you
17:02I didn't want to say anything
17:05it's okay
17:06you know
17:08people have told me
17:10that if you're not
17:10happy with yourself
17:12you should work on yourself
17:14and I've been kind of
17:16thinking about that
17:17and that's why
17:18I think that
17:19we should work on you
17:27what?
17:28I
17:29no you see
17:30because since you're working for me
17:32you are then a reflection of me
17:35and that is why
17:37we should work on you
17:40I don't know
17:42I
17:42now see
17:42see right there
17:43right there
17:43you're not looking at me
17:45when you talk to somebody
17:46you should make eye contact
17:47you know
17:47just try
17:48try saying something to me
17:49what do you want me to say?
17:51no no
17:51you're looking at your shoes
17:52you should look up
17:53look
17:53make eye contact
17:54you said I wouldn't have to do
17:56anything weird
18:01and another thing
18:02why you
18:02you always gotta look so
18:03mopey all the time
18:05for
18:05that's my face
18:06I can't change that
18:09have you tried?
18:10you should just like
18:10raise your eyebrows
18:11and smile a little
18:12you know
18:13like this
18:15yeah
18:15well
18:16not a big scary
18:19that's
18:20that's a big scary smile
18:22just a little
18:22no but smile a little
18:23smile a little
18:24no don't
18:24well you look like you're
18:26in pain now
18:27just
18:29smile
18:29a little smile
18:30but not a big smile
18:32I don't like this
18:33nobody likes to work on themselves
18:35Gerard
18:36you gotta stand up straight
18:37too
18:38I'm not supposed to move like that
18:40I think I have sciatica
18:43see that's another thing
18:44that's another thing
18:44why do you gotta be so negative
18:46all the time
18:46cause I'm not very happy
18:49I
18:49well whose fault is that
18:51Gerard
18:52right now
18:59you can talk strange
19:00you're all nasally
19:01and whinely
19:01and
19:02like the word you just said
19:03right
19:04now
19:06okay
19:06what does a cat say
19:09you mean a talking cat
19:10no
19:13regular cat
19:14a regular cat
19:15what does a regular cat say
19:16meow
19:17meow
19:18meow
19:19meow
19:19meow
19:19you see that
19:20see how annoying that can be
19:22yeah but what do you want
19:26try it like this
19:27right
19:28now
19:30right
19:31now
19:33try it again
19:34right
19:34now
19:35right
19:36now
19:46you say it just like I do
19:47no I don't
19:48just try it again
19:49try it again
19:50now
19:50now
19:51now
19:52now
19:53now
19:53it's a saying
19:53it isn't
19:54now
19:54now
19:55now
19:56this isn't about me Gerard
19:58well knock it off
19:59you're really annoying
20:09that's right
20:10you know what
20:11I quit
20:12I had it with you and your whole side of the family
20:15I only took this job because my mom owes Aunt Marie
20:20my mom owes your mom
20:22yeah yeah believe whatever you want
20:23I'm out of here you crazy bastard
20:29you got problems pal you got problems alright
20:33I'll tell you something you're gonna go through life blind to your problems
20:38and there's no call for that kind of language
20:45now
20:49right now
20:56right now
20:57now
20:57right now
20:59right now
21:10oh good glad you're here
21:13I'm annoying huh you think I'm annoying
21:15where's mom and dad
21:16shopping
21:18okay well you're on page three
21:22I'm annoying
21:24you have your own place
21:25and yet you're always over here
21:27annoying
21:30that's loyalty
21:31that's a devoted son
21:35fine that's your spin on it
21:36okay good
21:37you can have that
21:38how about the way you eat
21:40every time you take a bite
21:41you touch it to your chin first
21:42what do you call that
21:44quirky
21:45if I was famous
21:47everyone would be doing it
21:53your feet smell
21:56alright now you're grasping
21:58how about that
21:59how about that laugh right there
22:00huh that's annoying
22:01Amy thinks it's cute
22:03she's annoying too
22:04I made my food
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