- 28 minutes ago
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00:03hey powder puff that's right I'm talking to you what are you doing here I got a rash on my
00:16leg
00:19and by all means touch all our food here's the ointment Frank thanks hi yeah dad that's to go
00:38you're all wet what happened to you yeah I was in a giant's locker room I ended up in the
00:42shower with
00:43Joe Taggart doing interviews but listen to this it's after practice right and everyone's pretty
00:55much cleared out and I hear the shower still going so I look in what are you looking in for
01:02nothing shower still going it's a waste of water anyway it's Joe Taggart and he's sitting on the
01:09floor with his head down and the water's going on him and you know what he says to me do
01:14my back
01:19he tells me he just found out that his favorite receiver Ricky Freeman who also happens to be his
01:26best friend has been with his wife no women oh so you automatically blame the woman she's cheating on
01:35her husband well what about the friend he has no responsibility well let me tell you something
01:42God programmed man to sow his seed where he may he programmed women to limit the crop to one farmer
01:52this broad didn't get with the program well maybe she was unhappy did you ever think of that well he
01:58told me that everything seemed fine well maybe he was out of touch with her feelings well maybe he
02:04had a lot on his mind well maybe she needed somebody to talk to maybe all her talking was complaining
02:09well
02:09maybe he was on the road a lot maybe he had to make a living maybe all he did when
02:13he was home is
02:14going to sit on the couch and watch TV what are you going to learn Ray you can't talk sports
02:23with the wife
02:35they're coming
02:41you
03:33Hey.
03:35Hey.
03:36Hey.
03:37Fake skin.
03:43What's today, Thursday?
03:44Yeah.
03:49You want something?
03:50No, no.
03:50I just wanted to return this ointment.
03:52Oh, yeah.
03:53How'd that work out for you?
03:54Good, good.
03:56You didn't come down here to show me, did you?
03:58No, no, no, no.
04:01You know, I was throwing to Garvin and Stan, and they read your column.
04:04And they were going on about how much they liked it.
04:07Oh, yeah?
04:08Oh.
04:09Well, tell them I said thanks.
04:11Well, me too.
04:12I mean, I thought it was good too.
04:15You're a good writer.
04:16Did I ever tell you that?
04:19No.
04:21You're a good writer.
04:24Thanks.
04:26So what are you working on there today?
04:29Uh, nothing.
04:30Just, uh, something on Ken Griffey Jr.
04:32Oh, yeah?
04:33Yeah.
04:35Yeah, he's been in a slump.
04:37So he called his father to help him with his swing.
04:40Did you know that he does that?
04:41Oh, yeah?
04:42Oh, that's a good father.
04:45Hey, hey.
04:46You remember how I took you to the playground there at the school and I hit fly balls to
04:50you?
04:51Oh, yeah, yeah.
04:52I remember that day.
04:55Yeah, I like that.
04:57Me and you should do that again sometime.
05:04That is weird.
05:07It was.
05:08It's like he was trying to be father or something.
05:12You know?
05:13Last couple of days, he's been all pleasant.
05:17Pleasant?
05:18Was he feverish?
05:21Remember that construction worker in Ripley's Believe It or Not?
05:25The guy who got the metal rod stuck in his brain?
05:28You know, he lived.
05:30But his personality changed.
05:32Let me guess.
05:32He was suddenly more irritable.
05:35Yes.
05:36Yes.
05:37But with my father, it's the exact opposite.
05:39All of a sudden, he's nice.
05:41It's weird.
05:42At first, it seemed fake, you know?
05:44But then...
05:46I don't know.
05:46We were talking and he was listening.
05:51Yeah.
05:53It was nice.
05:55I don't know.
05:55I liked it.
05:57You know what I think it might be?
05:58Your father's getting older and this is how he's trying to connect.
06:02I mean, Frank's not the kind of guy that would change if you told him to.
06:05But maybe he's come around to it by himself.
06:09Well, there's a rod in there somewhere.
06:18Ma, I do my own shopping now. I don't need all this.
06:21I saw your refrigerator in that apartment.
06:24All right.
06:24Now, this is beef stroganoff and you eat it with the noodles.
06:28Oh, and I got your favorite.
06:31Steak and macaroni and ham and cheese Alfredo.
06:34Oh, well, no.
06:36Well, I appreciate it.
06:37You know, with my schedule, it's hard to eat healthy.
06:43Oh, baby.
06:44No, no, no.
06:45No, Robbie, no.
06:46That's not for you.
06:47Chicken is for Raymond.
06:51Of course.
06:53Raymond gets the chicken.
06:56Hey.
06:57Hey.
06:58Stand around?
06:59No, you just missed him.
07:00He's on his way to the barber shop.
07:02Barber?
07:03Why doesn't he just go down to the bowling alley and stick his head in the ball buffer?
07:13Come on, man.
07:14That's a little rough.
07:18What?
07:19Listen, listen.
07:21Has Dad been acting different lately?
07:25Do you know, now that you mention it, he has been in a very good mood.
07:29Yeah?
07:29Yeah.
07:30And I noticed he hasn't been quite so cheap.
07:34Like today, he's not only getting a haircut, he's also getting a shave.
07:39Uh, I think if you're charging Dad for a haircut, you throw in the shave.
07:50I don't know.
07:51Lately, Dad's been acting different to me, you know?
07:53Like, nicer.
07:56Yeah?
07:57Typical?
08:00So, so, he hasn't been acting nicer to you?
08:03Surprising, isn't it?
08:11Robbie.
08:13Chicken doesn't go there.
08:15Come on.
08:15Come on.
08:16Come on.
08:18And it's not for you, it's for Raymond.
08:24I'm good.
08:29Raymond, would you get that for me, please?
08:33Give me that.
08:34Raymond said I could have it.
08:44You'd rather throw it in the garbage and give it to me?
08:48It's the only way you'll learn.
08:58Hey!
08:59Hey, Stan.
09:00Hey, Corbin.
09:00Hey, Ray's here!
09:02Ha, ha, ha!
09:05Ha, ha, ha!
09:08Ha, ha, ha!
09:08Hey, Ray, we got the money.
09:10We owe your old man.
09:11Frank!
09:12It's not here.
09:12It's not here.
09:13He went to the barbershop.
09:14He was getting a haircut and a shave.
09:15Oh, how do you like that?
09:16Diamond Jim Brady's getting a shave, too.
09:19I guess we're paying for that shave.
09:21Hey, ain't tonight your poker night?
09:23Why don't you just give it to him then?
09:24I'm not gambling with him anymore.
09:26Me neither.
09:28I've never seen a guy on such a hot streak.
09:30It's not natural.
09:31It's supernatural.
09:32You know why?
09:33Because he's a witch.
09:34That's what he is, a witch.
09:36Not a witch, a warlock.
09:38Nobody says warlock anymore.
09:39They're all witches.
09:40Okay, guys.
09:41You're telling me he's a male witch?
09:43Don't say a male witch.
09:44We're just like male nurse.
09:45Nowadays, they're all just nurses.
09:46I'll see that he gets that.
09:47Then I say he's a witch doctor.
09:50That's right.
09:51He put some kind of voodoo curse on Joe Taggart last week.
09:54Yeah, he kept saying he had this feeling that Joe Taggart was off his game.
09:58Wait a minute.
09:59I thought you were talking about poker.
10:00No, no.
10:01We've been betting sports.
10:03Yeah, yesterday your father takes Seattle over the Yanks.
10:05And would you believe?
10:06Griffey breaks out of his slump and knocks in a couple of homers.
10:09How could he know about Griffey?
10:10Come on, Garvin.
10:12Let's catch up to him at the barbershop.
10:14Uh, wait a minute.
10:15Wait a minute.
10:16You know what?
10:17I'll see that he gets that.
10:18That's all right.
10:18We'll do it.
10:19No.
10:20If you don't mind, I'd really like to give it to him.
10:24Fine with me.
10:25He's not a gracious winner, your father.
10:29You know what he is?
10:30He's a witch who made a pact with the devil.
10:33He didn't make a pact with the devil.
10:36He is the devil.
10:38Psyched!
10:39Reelzebub!
10:40The statue of 666!
10:43Hey, nice to see you, Ray.
10:45Say hi to your mom!
10:56I feel like I'm back in the womb.
11:0115 years you've been coming to me, Frank.
11:04How come you finally sprung for a shave?
11:07Times are good, Sal.
11:08Times are good.
11:11Hey, Dad.
11:13Hey, Ray.
11:14Sal, this is my son Ray.
11:17A son?
11:1815 years.
11:19You never told me you had a son.
11:23I got two.
11:24This one's a sports writer.
11:26A great sports writer.
11:27Ah, come on, Dad.
11:29Ah, don't be modest.
11:30He's one of the best.
11:32You ever hear of Ray Barone?
11:34Ray Barone?
11:35You're Ray Barone's father?
11:3815 years you never told me your last name.
11:41I didn't want to bother you.
11:44Hey, Stan and Gordon came by and they wanted me to give you this.
11:47Ah, thank you.
11:49Yeah.
11:50What'd you, uh, win at poker or something?
11:52Uh, something like that.
11:53Uh, hey, Ray, how about a shave?
11:55Uh, uh, I don't think so.
11:57Hey, I know this is not the kind of highfalutin salon you usually go to.
12:02The hair barn?
12:06Come on, we'll talk.
12:08Hey, you want to talk?
12:10All right, great, yeah.
12:11Let's talk, yeah.
12:12Yeah, my treat.
12:13Your treat, yeah.
12:14In that case, give me a perm.
12:17A shave for my boy, Sal.
12:21Dominic.
12:22Customer.
12:24Ah, sit down there, Ray.
12:27Uh, yeah.
12:29See?
12:30See, this is nice.
12:33Father and son getting a shave together.
12:36Uh, my son won't even talk to me.
12:39I don't know.
12:40Maybe it's that metal bolt he's got stuck through his tongue.
12:44I don't know.
12:47That's too bad.
12:48The father should be able to talk to his son.
12:51Right, son?
12:52Right.
12:52Right, Dad.
12:53We've been having some real good conversations lately, haven't we?
12:56We sure have.
12:57Yeah.
12:59Yeah, they've been enriching.
13:01Have they been enriching for you, Dad?
13:04Ah!
13:04Oh, my God!
13:08That's hot!
13:10Hot towel.
13:14What, you got that, uh, sensitive skin?
13:16Yeah, it's sensitive to fire.
13:23So, uh, what you working on there today, Ray?
13:27Hockey.
13:27Hockey.
13:28The avalanche.
13:29They're in town to play the Rangers.
13:31Oh, yeah?
13:32The Rangers don't have a chance.
13:34Oh, I wouldn't be so sure about that.
13:36Oh, yeah?
13:37Why?
13:38Well, nobody knows...
13:39No!
13:48You moved.
13:53What, Ray?
13:54Nobody knows what?
14:00Nobody knows about, uh...
14:03Patrick Hoare.
14:06The avalanche goalie?
14:08Yeah, he's out.
14:08Knee problems.
14:10I think the Rangers got a pretty good shot.
14:13Yeah, no kidding.
14:15Uh, thanks, Sal.
14:17Thanks.
14:18I feel like a baby's butt.
14:21Well, what's your hurry, Dad?
14:22I gotta see a guy about to think.
14:24Well, I thought we were gonna talk.
14:26Here you go, buddy.
14:27And here.
14:28This is for my favorite son.
14:30Huh?
14:35Father and son.
14:36It's a sacred thing.
14:38What you two got is beautiful.
14:43Now, don't move your head.
14:44This is very sharp, honey.
14:52So, your father's just been using you?
14:54Yep.
14:55I'm just a tip sheet to him.
14:57Yeah.
14:59What are you laughing at?
15:00Uh, I thought Dad liked you more.
15:05Welcome home.
15:08All right.
15:09Come on, Allie.
15:10Bedtime.
15:10Daddy, will you tell me a story?
15:12Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:13Jump on.
15:15Oh.
15:16Once upon a time, there was a little boy who had a very mean father.
15:23Well, Robert, I'm glad you're here.
15:27I think I figured out why your father's been acting so differently.
15:32It all adds up.
15:34I mean, the pleasantness, and the spending, and the haircut.
15:37He's fooling around.
15:40Fooling around?
15:41Come on.
15:42I'll tell you something.
15:43If that weasel thinks he can stay with me and keep some chippy on the side.
15:47Where is Ray?
15:48Who is it, Frank?
15:50Harriet Lichtman?
15:51Ray!
15:52Oh, sure, sure.
15:53You know, that's a wig she wears.
15:57Ray!
15:58Hey, keep it down.
15:59The kids are in bed.
16:00Ray!
16:01What?
16:02Mommy!
16:04You're killing me, Frank.
16:08What, did you come by to have another chat?
16:10Don't think you can come crawling back, Frank.
16:13Cause lips that touch Harriet Lichtman will never touch mine.
16:20Quiet, Marie.
16:22I go to the lodge tonight.
16:23I turn on the Ranger avalanche game.
16:25It's in overtime.
16:27Guess who's playing goalie for the avalanche?
16:30Well, I believe that's Patrick Watt.
16:34Does anybody care about me?
16:39Ma, Dad's not cheating on you.
16:41He's cheating on Ray.
16:44You told me he wasn't gonna play tonight.
16:47Must have got it wrong.
16:48Whoops.
16:51I got a lot of money on this game.
16:53Money?
16:54Dad, you wouldn't be betting with information I gave you, would ya?
17:01You set me up.
17:04Yes, sir.
17:05I'm family.
17:06You never go against the family.
17:09What family?
17:10You used me.
17:11Coming around here being all warm and cuddly.
17:14Compliments out the wazoo.
17:16You just wanted inside information so you could bet guys at the lodge.
17:20So you're not having an affair with Harriet Lichtman?
17:25Was there an offer?
17:29See, Ma.
17:31I told you it was nothing.
17:34Huh.
17:35You would think I'd be happier.
17:39Come on, Robbie.
17:40Hey, Dad.
17:41If you want, you can use me for stuff.
17:44Cause I wouldn't mind the occasional compliment.
17:47Even if it is from your wazoo.
17:53Oh, power play, Dad.
17:54Your Rangers are in trouble.
17:55You're going down.
17:57Damn you.
17:58Over to Flurry.
17:59Come on, you, Mamie.
18:00Center it.
18:01Center it.
18:01Hit him off the puck.
18:02There it is.
18:03Flurry hold.
18:04Hold.
18:06Shoot.
18:06Scoot.
18:07Yes.
18:07Rangers win.
18:09Yes!
18:11Yes!
18:13Yes!
18:19You see this?
18:21This is proof of God here.
18:25You go against your father, thou art smited.
18:36I tell you what I'm going to do, I'll, I'll, I'll split the money with you.
18:42Come on, you're not going to say no to 15 grand.
18:4515 grand?
18:48Okay, 80 bucks.
18:54Don't talk to me anymore.
18:56What do you get so mad about?
18:58You know, we had fun, didn't we?
19:00Come on, hanging out, piling around, having conversations.
19:04Yeah.
19:04You know what, Dad?
19:05I did have fun.
19:07I thought you were talking to me like a real father.
19:09There you go.
19:11Look.
19:13Good.
19:14Good.
19:14Good.
19:14Go.
19:15Hey, you, you think I, I like having to do the hokey pokey around you just to get some
19:19information?
19:21I mean, if, if you weren't such a boy scout, I could just come right out and say, Ray, who
19:25do you like in the game tonight?
19:27And then we'd bet together and, and we'd win together.
19:32And then we'd go to one of those restaurants where the girls have the tight tops and bring
19:37you the big burgers.
19:42That's the real father and son stuff.
19:47That's real nice, Dad, but you know what I do for a living.
19:51You know I could never bet with you.
19:54Hence the roose.
20:11You know, you're out of line if you think that I was faking the part about enjoying whatever,
20:21you know, you and me.
20:24And, uh, if that's how you feel about the betting stuff, I won't do it anymore.
20:31Okay?
20:44What are you doing?
20:49Uh, how are the kids?
20:54Yeah.
20:55They're good.
20:56And how do the twins like that new preschool there?
20:59Yeah.
21:00They like it.
21:00It's good.
21:04Good.
21:06Okay.
21:09What?
21:10I think that was a good start.
21:12Don't you?
21:12Let's not push it.
21:14Yeah.
21:14Okay.
21:14Okay.
21:14Maybe we'll do some more tomorrow.
21:16Let's play it by ear.
21:25Hey, Dad.
21:27Hey.
21:29Listen.
21:30You know the corner of Hempstead Turnpike and Uniondale?
21:33Yeah.
21:35There's a new speed trap there.
21:44Good to know.
21:47Ray already told me.
21:49Come on!
21:51Go!
21:52Go!
21:54Go!
21:57Go!
21:57Go!
21:59Go!
22:01Go!
22:01Go!
22:02Go!
22:02Go!
22:02Go!
22:04Go!
22:06Go!
22:15Go!
22:19Go!
22:21Go!
22:22Go!
22:24Go!
22:24Go!
22:24Go!
22:27Go!
22:27Go!
22:27Go!
22:28Go!
22:31Go!
22:32Go!
22:33Go!
22:34Go!
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