- 46 minutes ago
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00:03well first of all michael and jeffrey are so cute thank you they're very friendly and helpful and
00:10all the kids love them i love them thank you they are very special and they're so excited
00:17about doing their comedy routine at the winter concert it's so cute you must be very proud oh
00:22yeah winter concert yeah ray you know about that oh yeah i know about that i just i can't believe
00:28it's winter already he's been practicing their routine with them but he's this totally involved
00:35dad yeah and if you need any help telling them apart i'm your guy well actually it's gotten easier
00:41but there are some differences yeah you start seeing it around the eyes sure that and and then
00:46there are some other well let's see um these are the pre-k assessment forms and uh here are some
00:54numbers and they both know their numbers but they each got the nine wrong they said it was a six
00:58that's a common error but you know i guess if if you showed it to him like this right i
01:05mean it
01:05could have been upside down uh no we show it to him like this oh don't worry it's a common
01:12it's a
01:13common error
01:17and uh well here are some letters and they both know all their letters oh well i do that with
01:21them
01:21every day a b c d well you know that song
01:27you okay
01:31something bad is coming
01:35am i right no no not at all let's just um here this is a test where the child is
01:41asked to cut with
01:41scissors on the line so here's jeffrey yeah that's pretty good there and michael
01:57michael just needs to work on the skill a little a little would he chew the paper
02:06michael just doesn't know how to hold the scissors properly and he seems a little reluctant to try
02:10so why do you think that is is he stupid you should tell us
02:13no no no not at all this kind of thing is just a sign of slight immaturity that's all and
02:20michael might be just a little young for his age but they're supposed to be identical
02:27was that it is it just a scissor thing well see here's some shapes where they draw shapes
02:32so here's jeffrey and here's michael
02:42and
02:46and then they were supposed to draw pictures of themselves so here's jeffrey
02:52there's michael
02:57first he didn't want to draw but then i talked him through it and
03:00just lacks a little detail
03:05that's a nose what the hell
03:10you know um boys are just a little slower to develop than girls but but jeffrey's developing
03:15on schedule oh boy my father's gonna love that
03:20what shut up excuse me nothing my father thinks that jeffrey has homosexual tendencies
03:36don't worry about what he thinks he he's still not sure about me
03:47well in my opinion michael's only slightly behind the other children and i'm sure he'll be fine to move on
03:53to kindergarten
03:56but there's a question oh well not with me but the kindergarten teacher rita will come down and make her
04:01own evaluation
04:03so michael might have to stay in preschool for one more year it happens sometimes and it's better
04:08if it happens in preschool because there's no shame in repeating at this age
04:12sure right but this kindergarten
04:14and lady rita she'll make the call yes is she tough
04:22what do you mean
04:23you know you really gotta leave him back i mean what about that other kid i saw the one licking
04:32the blackboard
04:38great
04:39it's not a competition
04:41you know
04:42my biggest concern is splitting up the boys because they're so close
04:46well i thought of that and you know if it comes down to it they could both stay in pre
04:50-k one more term
04:51again they're on the younger side and moving forward at this age isn't crucial
04:55i don't know maybe that would be best i what do you think is the board liquor moving up
05:09what did you do for yourself
05:15they're coming
05:17they're coming
05:18i'm
05:20i
05:21i
05:22i
05:22i
05:51CHOIR SINGS
05:56Michael, like this. Like this. Come up. Like this.
06:01I can't.
06:02Yeah. You... Don't give up.
06:05How's it going?
06:06Shh. Yes.
06:08You can, Michael. You can... There you go. See? Now you're holding it. That's it. That... You're holding it. Okay.
06:12Now... Now let's cut.
06:14I don't want to.
06:15Well, sure you do. This is gonna help you get a good job someday.
06:20Come on.
06:21And let me tell you something. All the millionaires know how to cut paper.
06:25Okay. Just cut a straight line. Go ahead. Go ahead. Cut.
06:28But no, it's straight. Go straight. Go straight. Go straight, Mike.
06:32Stop. Slow down. Stop. Go straight across.
06:35Okay? No. No, no, no, no, no.
06:38Okay. Hey, hey, hey. Maybe, maybe this isn't a good idea.
06:40No, but he doesn't... Okay?
06:41No.
06:42It's okay, Ray. No.
06:43It's okay.
06:43It's okay.
06:44I think it's better if he doesn't associate cutting paper with you foaming at the mouth.
06:50Just help him with his comedy routine.
06:52Yeah, yeah. Great, great, great. That's a future. Hey, hey, funny boys.
06:57Put on these chicken heads and hand out these coupons.
07:01Don't worry, Michael. We cut them out for you already.
07:06Hey.
07:06Hey, Robert.
07:07All right, Mike.
07:08Go upstairs and here, practice cutting. Take the scissors. Don't run.
07:12No, don't run. Don't run.
07:16Idiot.
07:21This is how Michael cuts paper.
07:23So we hate him now?
07:27He just needs to work on his fine motor skills a little.
07:30They're thinking of keeping him in pre-K one more year.
07:33Really?
07:34Interesting.
07:37All right, why is that interesting?
07:38Oh, nothing.
07:40You got any donuts?
07:41Don't give him any. He already had two.
07:43I still have coffee left.
07:45You refill that coffee so you could have more donuts.
07:49So she ate them.
07:50That's right, because two donuts are enough.
07:52Well, how many did you have?
07:54Why do you change the subject?
07:56All right, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I know what you do. I know what you
07:59do.
07:59Get out.
08:04What's the matter, dear?
08:05Michael might get left back in preschool.
08:08What?
08:09Oh, interesting.
08:12What? What's so interesting?
08:14What? Is he stupid?
08:17Nobody's stupid, Frank.
08:18Michael's a little young for the class.
08:20And besides, girls mature faster than boys.
08:23Oh, so I guess Jeffrey's fine then.
08:26Yeah.
08:29Stop it, Frank.
08:31Raymond's upset.
08:32It's okay, dear.
08:34It's just free school.
08:35That's what I told him.
08:36And if he has to stay, Jeffrey will stay with him.
08:39Oh, that's good.
08:40No, no, no.
08:41Why not, Frank?
08:42Law of nature. You get left behind, you get eaten.
08:47You're too soft on the kids.
08:49You gotta push them.
08:50Push them forward.
08:52Just keep pushing them.
08:55Until when, Frank?
08:57Until they cry.
09:01That's nature's way of letting you know you pushed enough.
09:09Here's a man they let have two children.
09:14Hey, Raymond, don't worry about the boys.
09:16They're beautiful, sweet boys.
09:19They're gonna fly away soon enough.
09:22Yeah, all right, Ma.
09:22Look, I want them to move up to kindergarten
09:25and be with the other children.
09:27Other children are overrated.
09:31It won't hurt, Michael and Jeffrey,
09:34to stay little one more year.
09:36Well, you know, that's what I did with you.
09:42What?
09:44It's funny.
09:47I never told you this,
09:48but when you were the twins' age,
09:51do you remember a nursery school
09:52that used to be on J Street
09:53with the pretty yellow flowers out front?
09:56Well, you and I would walk there and back together
09:59every morning,
10:00and you were so cute holding my hand.
10:02So when it came time for you to go to kindergarten,
10:05which was cross town with a bus,
10:07I decided it would be nice for everybody
10:09if you stayed in preschool one more year.
10:17You left me back?
10:19Left back for love.
10:24That and you were slow.
10:26I remember you couldn't even cut paper.
10:36Wait, what?
10:39What was wrong with me?
10:41Nothing, sweetie.
10:42You were just a little young, too.
10:44So you stayed there one more year,
10:46and we got to walk by the yellow flowers some more.
10:58That's why I was always the oldest in my class.
11:03Yellow flowers?
11:07You knew?
11:08No.
11:09Yes, of course you did.
11:11That's what was so interesting.
11:12Okay, I knew.
11:14Why didn't you tell me?
11:15I don't know.
11:16You tell your brother this.
11:17I couldn't.
11:18Why?
11:19Because.
11:19Because why?
11:20Because I felt sorry for you.
11:23You felt sorry for me.
11:26You felt sorry for me.
11:33Ray, it was just pre-
11:34I was just cut.
11:51Maybe I should have waited another year to tell him.
12:05Deb.
12:07Deb.
12:11Deb.
12:11Deb.
12:13Deb.
12:19Deb.
12:23hey what's up what are you doing am I stupid if this is your new way of asking
12:33for sex then yes don't you see that's what I passed on to Michael that's my
12:43legacy the dumbness oh you've passed on other things your lack of tushy
12:56ah yeah very funny you have a stupid kid you don't even care he is not stupid then
13:02why isn't he the same as Jeffrey can't even get good twins anymore why don't you think of it this
13:10way okay Michael is the way the twins should be and Jeffrey is exceptional Jeffrey's your favorite
13:20you're kidding now admit it you've always liked Jeffrey better and that's why Michael's goofy
13:28good night maybe if you were around a little more Michael could cut paper
13:37uh-ha I knew it was right there under the surface right so I should go to work and raise
13:44the kids
13:44all right it should be all me yeah and what do you do all day I'm sorry excuse me I'm
13:57sorry that's
13:58right you're sorry that's right I'm sorry look I just I want the kids to be just like everybody else
14:08they are no no they should they should move up and go to kindergarten and be with their friends
14:14and keep up with the board lickers and how about this what what if what if one day Jeffrey finds
14:22out
14:22that he's the smarter one he'll never let Michael live it down he'll glow just like Robert's gonna do
14:28to me now he's gonna glowed he's gonna glowed all over me ray it's preschool and if they have to
14:36stay
14:36behind it'll be because that's what's best for them right isn't the most important thing that
14:42they're healthy and happy you don't care about either one of them all right good news I went down
14:56to that school and had a little visit with the kindergarten broad that's right I schmoozed her hey
15:06she's a human being and a woman no and being a woman she's a sucker for the old look how
15:15many
15:15photos of the children grandpa has in his wallet bit oh look they're so adorable and what a charming
15:23grandpa and what a distinguished looking forehead she said that I paraphrase anyway the real reason for
15:34the bit is to accidentally allow a peek at the wallet being extra full yeah she didn't give me a
15:45definite
15:45answer about Mikey but I saw her eyes light up you know those teachers don't make squat I always told
15:57you we should have a trap door right there all right now you're mad I don't get you two I'm
16:10thinking of
16:11the kid you know we we thought that leaving little Raymond back didn't hurt him any but who the crap
16:17knows
16:19you could have been a year ahead in your life right now that car you're saving up for you could
16:24be driving
16:24that today you could have bought the house a year sooner met Debra a year sooner had the kids a
16:33year
16:33sooner which if you did by the way would put Michael right on track and we wouldn't have to have
16:39this
16:39conversation all right just hold it Frank do you want to help the kids why don't you start by setting
16:48a decent moral example none of this matters do you understand there are four we just want them to be
16:56healthy and happy good luck on that one that's where you get it from that's great I'm gonna be
17:09stupid and bald hey chuckleheads let's go make the beds come on isn't today the big winter concert gig
17:21yeah yeah you're excited right so let's move like little excited people I got the call from the
17:34principal what about them yeah they think that Michael should stay in preschool another year
17:48so then Jeffrey too yeah yeah so then that's okay right I mean that's what we said happy and healthy
18:03we still want that okay yeah I just thought you'd be upset well I'm you know I'm good good yeah
18:18yeah they'll be fine yeah they'll be together yeah no it's it's good it's good okay all right you guys
18:29come on you're the big comedy stars today okay I made my bed yeah Jeffrey did a good job
18:49Mikey you're doing it there good hey Mike come here you like your school yeah yeah yeah you're
19:06like Sarah teacher yeah yeah me too how would you like to stay in her class next
19:15year okay yeah good okay I'll tell you what if you want to you can okay good
19:27good do I have to cut paper now unless you want to look I have pants like daddy hmm yeah
19:46how about that
19:49just like daddy
20:22thanks everybody and now for a very special treat the comedy team of Michael and Jeffrey Barone
20:35hello Michael I just flew in from Cleveland
20:41and your arms are very tired
20:49you know I've been swimming since I was three
20:57and your arms are very tired
21:11if you're American in the living room what are you in the bathroom
21:41hey hey what's up yeah well you know I got that garden growing on my
21:45terrace over my apartment and I thought I'd bring you guys some plants really all right
21:50good I know how much you love these
22:07enjoy
22:17so
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