00:03so what's her name Angela and where did you meet her well I went to get a trim over at
00:10the hair
00:11barn and they have this guy who's working there Armando you know when I like the way he does my
00:15sideburns anyway he double booked I had a 315 and Angela had a 315 okay and then you know what
00:26happened you got a bad haircut now you're dating yes we're dating and Angela likes my hair so how
00:35many dates have you been on well tonight was the third one and I know it's kind of early but
00:42I'm
00:42getting this feeling I don't know I think she might be what do you mean the one are you saying
00:51that you
00:51think Angela might be the one all right whoa let's not jump the gun okay don't forget he married one
00:58that wasn't the one so when are we gonna meet her well listen I would love that but I'm a
01:06little
01:06afraid about bringing her over here because you know mom and dad will pop by and I kind of don't
01:10want her to meet them until ever no no no you bring her over to meet mom and dad right
01:18away you gotta
01:19get it over with quick it's like ripping off a band-aid yeah you let her know what she's in
01:25for
01:25and if she doesn't run away screaming then you know you gotta keep her huh am I right squeezy
01:31only go away so anyway what about Saturday night because your parents are going to Atlantic City with
01:40Lee and Stan really you're sure yes it would be perfect Saturday night I'll make dinner that's
01:45another band-aid oh what kind of law do you practice well actually I deal mostly with
01:58international trade Angela speaks four languages oh wow it's nothing really I studied Spanish and
02:05French and I speak Italian because my parents are Italian oh hey our parents are Italian you should
02:11meet them sometime Debra I have to tell you your lemon chicken is delicious oh thanks I like you
02:26I like you too should I get some dessert for us yeah dessert time all right
02:35oh great hey someone else likes you cooking we got a fly in here oh Angela I'm sorry hey Ray
02:42could you clear off the rest of the plates please oh I'll do it no no I'm doing it I
02:47like to
02:48help out around the house as much as I can it's just my nature
02:57I better I better I better help out too or I'll I'll hear about that later that's her nature
03:12hey you got them yeah I guess I did wow good hands all right um oh it's okay I got
03:18it okay
03:19I'll be about put this down how great is she she's pretty great right yeah not bad big top no
03:26Robert I
03:26am so happy for you she is terrific you see I made a laugh a couple times yeah you're hilarious
03:32go
04:16okay can you just grab those forks there Robert
04:27I don't want to hear it anymore hello hey what are you two doing back so soon
04:37your father made a scene and we were escorted out of the casino
04:43two buckets of nickels and not one payout that's no reason to throw a roast beef sandwich at the
04:49machine hello hi hi I'm Marie are you a single friend of Robert's yes yes Angela these are Ray and
05:05Deborah's neighbors mom and dad nice to meet you oh I see you having a little get-together if I
05:21had
05:21known I would have known I would have never gone to Atlantic City why didn't you tell me Raymond
05:33you know mom it was just kind of a kind of a last-minute thing who cares the point is
05:37we're here now and I see cake
05:40be quiet right sit down honey and tell me all about yourself look at that cute little figure you have
05:51can you believe this mom consents when I'm having a good time and she's here to kill it
05:56listen Robert just relax it'll be fine look if Angela really is the one she's gonna have to meet
06:00your parents at some point you might as well get it over with right right she's not the one
06:25I saw something that I have to tell you because you have to know because I saw it
06:35what are you talking about what did you see Ray Angela ate the fly
06:43what what do you mean the fly that was flying around Angela killed it it fell on the table
06:52she put it in a napkin and then she ate it
07:06what the hell are you doing Ray yeah man what is your problem I'm telling you I saw that woman
07:14eat a fly
07:15she did not you must have seen something else what then what what did I see no no no maybe
07:19it was a
07:20crouton or something a flying crouton are you drunk look I'm trying to help him how is this
07:28supposed to help me Raymond I'm doing what any brother would do if you see Debra eat a fly I
07:32want
07:32you to tell me right away she did not eat a fly yes she did no she yes
07:45now just a second because what I think you're really saying is uh-oh Robert found someone special
07:51someone who's so great that she actually may be the one but because you're such a sniveling little
07:56insecure man you'll do anything to keep me from having what you have
08:03she ate a fly
08:12goodbye Raymond
08:14Robert what is wrong with you oh Robbie sit down we're having such fun with your single friend here
08:25I'd love to mom but I must have left my pages somewhere and if the captain tries to get a
08:30hold
08:30of me I can be in trouble so uh I'm sorry Angela but uh we have to go oh I'm
08:34sure of course we were
08:36just getting to know each other yeah Robert please stay I'm sorry Deb really thanks very much
08:41everything was great that you did you guys this was great thank you so much my pleasure
08:51oh thanks Ray yeah it was nice very nice to meet you yeah it was really good
09:18well they did say it was gonna rain I think we made it just in time here let me take
09:23a coat
09:24oh thank you sure would you uh like a drink no no thanks i'm fine now that's a nice place
09:31you
09:31got here oh thanks well come here sit down was um something bothering you tonight robert no it's
09:39nothing just my brother your brother he seems so sweet i don't want to talk about it my brother
09:45has a lot of issues let's just leave it at that did he do something no he's just crazy
09:57you know what i think i think that your brother may be a little jealous of you
10:04what well it's obvious i mean you're the tall funny heroic good looking one
10:17actually he's always been a little jealous of me
10:21who wouldn't be and it's always bothered him that our mother prefers me
10:29who wouldn't prefer you i really like you i really like you
10:38you know he once sold my bicycle to another kid robert yes can we kiss now
11:05you okay oh i'm very okay
11:16want to be more okay okay want to go in there okay
11:29i'll be in in a minute and i'll be in there
11:33i'll be in there being very okay
11:39oh
11:50oh
12:12I'll be right in.
12:23I'll be right in.
13:08I'll be right in.
13:22Yes, I am, but just for a second, because my car has my poncho in it.
13:35So, I'm going to run and get my trusty poncho, and then I'm going to go get some ice cream
13:42for us.
13:44Do you like ice cream?
13:46I do.
13:49I like it with chocolate chips or nuts and sprinkles.
13:58And actually, somebody told me that you might prefer a different toppy.
14:11You know, Robert, we all come from frogs.
14:23Oh, interesting.
14:28Good night.
14:38I'm going to get super modern.
14:49Oh, you're happy.
14:52Hello?
14:55Look at you.
14:58Was it raining?
15:02No, Raymond.
15:04I'm a pearl diver.
15:08Robert.
15:10What happened?
15:13Well, Raymond was right.
15:17Ha!
15:18Ha!
15:24What?
15:25Right about what?
15:27The girl.
15:28If he said she had a nice upstairs and an ample downstairs, then I agree.
15:34What about Andrew and Robbie?
15:37She seems so genuine and so refined.
15:40We have so much in common.
15:43Forget it, Ma.
15:44It's not going to happen.
15:46Oh, no.
15:47What did you do?
15:52What happened, Robbie?
15:53Did she eat another one?
15:59What?
16:00Eat another what?
16:01You don't want to know.
16:02Ma.
16:04You tell me right this minute, young man.
16:07All right, Ma.
16:08Fine.
16:09She eats bugs.
16:13Come again?
16:14Come on, Robert.
16:15She does not.
16:16Oh, what is it about you that you don't believe me when I tell you?
16:19She sat right there at your dinner table and ate a fly.
16:24I could believe that.
16:33No, Mom.
16:34It wasn't in the food.
16:35Oh.
16:36I don't believe that.
16:41Well, you can believe it, Ma.
16:43It's a story of my life.
16:45I finally meet a girl who has absolutely everything I ever wanted.
16:48She's the frog woman of Massapequa.
16:53I thought you said it was flies.
16:55She keeps frogs.
16:56Thousands of frogs all over her apartment and she feeds them flies, I guess.
17:00I don't know.
17:01She's a freaking sideshow.
17:02What do you want from her?
17:06I don't believe a word of that, Robbie.
17:08She had such nice shoes.
17:13I had to go out the window.
17:16Did she try to stop you with her tongue?
17:23It's not funny, Raymond.
17:32Yeah, yeah, you know what?
17:34Laugh all you want, because I'm done.
17:36What do you mean you're done?
17:37I'm done.
17:38I'm done dating.
17:39I'm done trying to meet someone.
17:41I'm done with humiliation.
17:42I can't anymore.
17:43There's nothing humiliating about going out the window.
17:46If your mother's apartment had been one floor lower, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
17:58Just stop it, Frank.
18:01All right, Robert, now look.
18:02I know that it's tough out there, but you will find someone.
18:05You have so much going for you.
18:07You're kind.
18:08You're sensitive.
18:09You're honest.
18:10Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
18:17Good luck with the frog lady.
18:25Robbie, honey, I know what you're going through, and I can help you.
18:30I just want you, once and for all, to say it to me.
18:33What are you talking about?
18:34To say what to you?
18:36That you're homosexual.
18:37No!
18:39Don't say it!
18:40No, I don't say it!
18:42I'm not saying it!
18:43This again?
18:43A woman ate a fly?
18:45Nobody believes your stories, Robbie.
18:47Just say it!
18:48No!
18:48I'm a gay!
18:50What?
18:51You feel better!
18:53Hello, I'm queer, and now I'm here!
18:59Who says that?
19:00That's the slogan.
19:03Just admit it already!
19:04No, would you stop?
19:06Well then, what is it?
19:07Because I can't take it anymore.
19:09You're torturing me, do you know that?
19:11You are into your forties, and still you can't settle down.
19:15I stay up nights, tossing and turning in my bed, because I'm so sick about it.
19:21I just want you to be with someone, anyone, I don't care who it is.
19:27I mean, for God's sakes, do you want to die alone?
19:32Yes!
19:43Oh, him.
19:48Ma, I saw that girl eat a fly!
19:51Stop it, Raymond!
19:51Why can't you just accept that your brother is different?
19:56I accept you, Robbie.
20:02Listen, Ma, I would love nothing more than to tell you I'm gay.
20:07Marie, look what you're doing!
20:10But I'm not that, alright?
20:12So you can unclench your intestines.
20:17I wish I had a good reason why I'm always striking out.
20:20But I don't.
20:23It's me.
20:25It's me.
20:29Most people find their other half.
20:31And I just have to wake up and accept already that maybe there is no other half...
20:38...for this.
20:45Oh, Robbie.
20:47See you later.
20:48Robert, please.
20:49Come on, man.
20:50Hey, son!
21:05There you are, Rick.
21:07Sky Trust.
21:08Coming up.
21:10Lot of fresh faces here tonight, big man.
21:13I'll just take the drink.
21:15That's all right.
21:20Oh!
21:21Oh!
21:28I'm sorry, you okay?
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