- 17 hours ago
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FunTranscript
00:05Oh, hey, guys.
00:11Don't mind me.
00:12I'm just gonna live here.
00:17Hey, monkey.
00:18Hey.
00:20Sorry I'm late.
00:21Yeah.
00:22I'd ask how your day was, but I just walked past 500 pounds of bad day on the couch.
00:29Yeah, and your father was in our yard today with his metal detector.
00:34Oh, you're kidding.
00:35Did he dig again?
00:36Yep, four-foot hole, found a nickel.
00:41If you sprinkle a roll of quarters out there, it'll dig us a pool.
00:46What else?
00:47What else happened?
00:48Oh, some kid on Allie's bus has been picking on her.
00:51You want two pieces of chicken or...
00:52Wait a minute.
00:53What?
00:53Somebody's picking on Allie?
00:54Oh, nothing.
00:55Some kid calling her names.
00:57Oh, no.
00:58What kind of name is he calling her?
01:00It's nothing.
01:01Kid stuff.
01:02Oh, kids are the worst.
01:04All right, what bad thing rhymes with Allie?
01:07Pally, Crowley, Schnelly?
01:11Schnelly?
01:12Ray.
01:12This is how bullies work, Debra.
01:14They find a word that rhymes with your name and then you're that until college.
01:20Trust me, I grew up with the name Raymond.
01:22What rhymes with Raymond?
01:24How about layman, gayman, go-awayman?
01:32I still don't see the humor.
01:44They're coming!
01:46They're coming!
01:53They're coming!
02:27Guess what Debra just told me.
02:28To come in here and flap your gums when there's two minutes left in the game.
02:36Some kid's been bullying Allie.
02:39What are you talking about?
02:40Who? Who is it? Who's doing it?
02:41I don't know.
02:43I don't know. Some older kid's picking on her, calling her names.
02:46Oh, boy.
02:48Well, at least Allie's name doesn't rhyme with anything bathroom-related.
02:53Unless...
02:55No, no, you're clear.
02:58This really bunches my shorts.
03:07What, you care?
03:08Hey, we're talking about my granddaughter here.
03:11Of course I care.
03:12Yeah, like you cared when we got bullied?
03:14Stop crying. People are looking at us.
03:18Yeah. These aren't my kids.
03:22You never helped us.
03:25Allie's a girl, Nancy.
03:29Deb, what's this about Allie being picked on?
03:32Oh, she's fine.
03:34Just some boy on her bus.
03:36A boy?
03:37All right.
03:39Let's get him.
03:43Wait, what?
03:44What, what do you mean?
03:45We'll figure something out in the car.
03:47Let's roll.
03:50Yeah, I can run a check to see if the family has any outstanding warrants.
03:54Great.
03:57Can't we even run a check?
04:00Listen, that's really nice, but, you know, you guys don't have to saddle up and form a posse.
04:07Debord doesn't get it.
04:08What? What don't I get?
04:09What it's like to be picked on.
04:11Oh, yeah. You were popular.
04:13Yeah.
04:14We know.
04:14We know what a big deal this is to Allie, because we went through it.
04:17Especially on the bus.
04:19Oh, the bus.
04:20Wedgies, wet willies.
04:22Who's wet willie?
04:23Well, they would wet their finger and stick it in your ear.
04:26It was chilly.
04:31You're supposed to warn me when he's next to me.
04:36Why are you still here, Frank?
04:38You said you were coming across the street to read the twins at bedtime story.
04:42I did.
04:43And when Hansel and Gretel got away from the witch, I got inspired and stayed here.
04:50Hey, Bob, did you hear? Allie's been bullied.
04:52What?
04:53Yeah, yeah, some kid named Todd Feeney.
04:55Feeney? Got it.
04:56And I'll take care of it.
04:56What?
04:57What do you mean?
04:58Wait, wait, wait, wait.
04:59Take care of it.
05:00I'll call his mother.
05:02Don't worry.
05:02I'm very good at this.
05:04All right, wait.
05:04Listen, Allie will be fine.
05:06She's a very strong little girl.
05:08No, she's not.
05:09She's got arms like twigs.
05:11I didn't mean...
05:12Look, I appreciate that y'all care about her.
05:15I do.
05:16But enough, really.
05:17Well, what are we supposed to do?
05:18Nothing?
05:19Yes, Ray.
05:20Nothing.
05:21How about we don't interfere and let her live her own life?
05:24Maybe we could set an example.
05:31An example for who?
05:40Hey, Allie.
05:41Waiting for the bus?
05:42Yeah.
05:44I didn't get a chance to say have a good day before, you know, with mommy all around, so I
05:50thought I'd come out here.
05:51So have a good day there.
05:54Okay.
05:54Okay.
05:55Hey, who's this?
05:56Todd Feeney?
05:57No.
06:00You know, now that I'm all the way out here, why don't I just wait for the bus with you?
06:06Yeah.
06:07Okay.
06:08Great.
06:09Good.
06:10Waiting for the old school bus.
06:13I remember this.
06:17Long time ago, though.
06:18I remember waiting for the bus to be invented.
06:25That's the long of a bus.
06:29You know what else I remember as a kid?
06:33That not all the kids were nice.
06:37Bye, Daddy.
06:39Well, wait, Allie.
06:39I wanted to also tell you that...
06:42Okay.
06:43Bye, Allie.
06:44Have fun.
06:45I love you.
06:51No.
06:52Oh, hey.
06:52I'm sorry.
06:53Did I get you?
06:54No.
06:54No.
06:55No.
06:55Not really.
06:56Hi.
06:57I'm, uh...
06:58I'm Allie's dad, Ray.
07:00Nice to meet you.
07:00I'm Daddy.
07:01Hi.
07:02Nice looking ride you got here.
07:04Thanks.
07:07You need something?
07:09Yeah, no.
07:10No.
07:10I just wanted to say good morning.
07:13And...
07:13Oh, one thing.
07:16I heard something about a little problem between Allie and another child.
07:22Oh, yeah, right.
07:23Okay, great.
07:24Good.
07:25I just wanted to make sure that you were aware of the situation.
07:28I am.
07:29Okay.
07:30Okay.
07:31Good.
07:33Do you want to ride with us today?
07:36Oh, no.
07:38No, no, no.
07:40No, no.
07:41Yeah?
07:42Yeah?
07:42Behind the white line.
07:55Hi, honey.
07:57What are you doing?
07:58Going for a ride.
08:08Hi, there.
08:09Mind if I sit with you?
08:11Saved.
08:12What?
08:14Saved.
08:18Oh, okay.
08:19Fair enough.
08:27Is this saved also?
08:30Okay, look.
08:31Is that allowed?
08:32Because...
08:32I can't drive until everyone's seated.
08:34They won't let me.
08:37Okay.
08:39Okay.
08:52So, not a day, huh?
08:54Not a day, right?
08:58Yeah, school sucks.
09:03Like math.
09:05Give me a break.
09:07When are you ever going to use that?
09:10How about never?
09:19Hey, uh...
09:21Do you know which...
09:21Which kid is Todd Feeney?
09:25Hello?
09:28Look.
09:30How about...
09:31How about I give you a dollar
09:32if you tell me which one Todd is?
09:49You had your chance, Missy.
10:07Did you fail the sixth grade
10:09like a thousand times or something?
10:15No.
10:34Okay, well, thanks for letting me ride along.
10:37I kind of wish there had been some bullying
10:39so I could have put a stop to it.
10:40Oh, she would never do anything with you on the bus.
10:43She?
10:43No.
10:44I'm talking about Todd Feeney.
10:45Todd Feeney.
10:47All he's ever done is defend his little sister, Judy.
10:51What?
10:52Allie's been picking on Judy Feeney.
10:55Allie?
10:55My Allie?
10:56Allie Barone.
10:58Yeah.
10:59Wait a minute.
11:00Wait a minute.
11:02This one?
11:03The little ballerina here?
11:04Yeah, yeah.
11:05They're all angels.
11:08Are you sure that it's Allie making the trouble?
11:10Because, you know, if you're looking in that mirror,
11:12everything's reversed.
11:15Judy Feeney wears these big, big glasses,
11:18and your little Allie says she looks like an owl.
11:21Okay, well...
11:22So she hoots at her.
11:24And she goes,
11:25Judy, hootie, she's got cooties.
11:28Oh.
11:31Oh.
11:34The kids like to find a word that rhymes with someone's name.
11:38And when they do, they just never let up.
11:40I know.
11:41I know.
11:53Hey.
11:53Hey.
11:54Hey, I thought you left for work without kissing me goodbye.
11:55I rode the bus to school today with Allie.
11:58You did?
11:59Yes.
12:00And Allie's the bully.
12:02What?
12:03Well, Dottie told me...
12:04Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
12:05Dottie?
12:05The bus driver.
12:07Take an interest.
12:11Anyway, she told me that Allie's been picking on this little girl with big glasses,
12:15calling her an owl.
12:16Judy, hootie, rhyming.
12:20Huh.
12:21That's your reaction to your daughter's a bully, huh?
12:25No, it's not right, and I'll talk to her.
12:29That's it.
12:30You seem pretty laissez-faire about this.
12:36Laissez-faire.
12:38She's just being a kid.
12:40That's what kids do, honey.
12:41No, no, not all kids.
12:42Not me, not Robert, not little Judy Hootie, who's been accused of having cooties.
12:48I think you're overreacting.
12:51I don't think you know your daughter.
12:54Yeah, yeah.
12:55Cute little face, blonde hair.
12:57That's her cover.
12:59Right?
12:59She seems harmless.
13:01Okay, yeah.
13:02She's like the fish that disguises itself as a rock.
13:05You know, and then you swim by.
13:06Blah!
13:10She's a normal kid.
13:11No, normal kids don't pick on other kids.
13:14What are you talking about?
13:16You were a kid.
13:18You know, the bus, the playground, those are all tough places.
13:23Yeah, well, it turns out they weren't so tough until she showed up.
13:26Oh, please, Ray.
13:28Oh, that's right.
13:29Just walk away.
13:30You know, I don't like to point a finger, but she's this way because of you.
13:36Excuse me?
13:37That's right.
13:37You heard me.
13:38You're the role model for her, not me.
13:40I'm not the woman here.
13:41Oh, no?
13:42Oh, see, right there.
13:44That's what I'm talking about.
13:45That attitude, that smarty pants, stick up for yourself, don't take any crap from anybody.
13:50So you're accusing me of teaching my daughter to be self-confident.
13:52That's right.
13:53Every jerk I ever met was self-confident.
13:57Yeah, not every jerk.
14:01Listen, I know the idea of being independent is very different than the way your mother
14:05raised you.
14:07Hey, hey, hey.
14:08Never mind what my mother did, okay?
14:10At least I didn't turn out pushy and mean, like...
14:17Me?
14:20You think I'm pushy and mean?
14:23You want to push me right now, don't you?
14:28Yeah, you'd probably tattle.
14:31Well, I'll tell you.
14:33Good thing we didn't know each other when we were little, because I wouldn't have liked
14:35you.
14:35I wouldn't have liked you either, okay?
14:37Yeah, yeah.
14:37Standing in your little groups at school, making fun of the kid whose mom showed up with his
14:43snow pants.
14:47Snow pants.
14:49There's a good chance of snow.
14:54See?
14:54You're bringing Allie into the family business.
14:57Deborah Barone's ass-kicking Incorporated.
15:02Pushing people down since 1972.
15:04Yeah, yeah.
15:05That's better than working at Ray's house of wuss.
15:10You want her to be totally dependent on you.
15:13No, I don't.
15:14You rode her bus today.
15:16So, yeah, and you taught her to be self-confident, and now she's hanging kids out the bus window
15:20by their ankles.
15:20I told you that I would talk to her about picking on that little girl when she gets
15:24home.
15:24No, no, you don't talk to her.
15:25You'll spin it.
15:26I'll talk to her.
15:27Yeah, don't you have to go to work or someplace?
15:29Yeah, yeah, and you can forget about the kiss goodbye.
15:32Oh, no, I would like to...
15:34You'll miss it, baby.
15:35Oh, yeah.
15:36Hey, hey, layman, gayman, go layman.
15:41Bowie!
15:43You?
15:44Bowie!
15:45Relax.
15:46Relax.
15:47Deborah, Deborah, lovely wife.
15:49Why am I stuck with you for life?
15:56Sounds like you've had that one for a while.
15:59Maybe.
16:00Why?
16:00What?
16:01You want one off the top of my head?
16:02Yeah.
16:03Yeah?
16:05You're a stupid idiot stinker, BM!
16:20Allie?
16:23What are you doing?
16:24Trying to get to it before I can?
16:27No.
16:29What are you doing looking outside?
16:31I was looking.
16:33For your information, there's a shrubbery thief going around.
16:41Oh, crap.
16:46We were just on our way to the market, and I...
16:49What's wrong?
16:51Nothing.
16:52What do you mean?
16:53I sense tension and anger.
16:56Maybe you're picking up your own scent.
17:05We're fine, Marie.
17:08Raymond?
17:12Allie's the one that's been bullying the kids on the bus.
17:15Oh, my...
17:16Oh, yeah?
17:18Good for her.
17:21What did she do?
17:22Never mind, and it's not good.
17:25Hey, there you are.
17:26Hey, tiger.
17:27All right, all right, Frank.
17:28Frank, honey, I need you to come over here and sit down for a minute.
17:32Allie.
17:33Allie.
17:33Boom, bye, hey.
17:34Allie.
17:35Allie.
17:36Allie.
17:36Stop it, Frank.
17:39I know.
17:40Have you been picking on other children?
17:42Oh, Marie?
17:43Allie, Daddy told me that you've been making fun of Judy Feeney.
17:48Why were you on my bus today?
17:51Because Daddy loves you very much.
17:53Yeah.
17:56All the kids were making fun of me on the ride home.
17:59Which ones?
17:59Give me their names.
18:02Look what you did.
18:03They were making fun of you?
18:04Yes.
18:05They kept saying, Baby Allie and her dorky Daddy.
18:10You're a dorky Daddy.
18:13Honey, I'm sorry.
18:15Look, I was just trying.
18:17I didn't know.
18:18Do I have to ride on the bus tomorrow?
18:20Look, sweetie, in a couple of days, those kids will forget about it,
18:22and they'll move on to something else.
18:25I'm going to make up a mean song about Judy.
18:27Oh, honey, we don't sing mean songs.
18:30All right, Marie, please.
18:32Alec, now, I know I told you to stick up for yourself.
18:35But, but...
18:36Yes, so I'm going to make fun of Judy Hootie,
18:38and then all the other kids will laugh at her.
18:47You're doing a good job with her.
18:56Honey, you need to talk, okay?
18:59Okay.
19:00You want to?
19:01No, you go ahead.
19:02You were right.
19:02You should do it.
19:03Okay.
19:05Um, okay, honey, you see, you saw today that it's not fun to get picked on, right?
19:17And, um, you know, there are a lot of bad kids out there, and, and you should stop being one.
19:25Don't say that.
19:27You just said she was a bad kid.
19:30I did not.
19:31Yes, you did.
19:31You just said you should...
19:32All right, fine.
19:37There are a lot of great kids out there, and you should try to be like them.
19:41All right, Ray, stop.
19:42It's just what Daddy's trying to say.
19:44Well, you don't have to interpret for me.
19:48Ray, what Mommy's trying to say...
19:50Ray!
19:51See, you don't like it.
19:56Do you understand what I'm trying to say, Allie?
20:01There's a kind of fish that looks like a rock.
20:03Oh, Ray, would you stop?
20:05My God.
20:06Do you think I'm bad?
20:08Oh, no.
20:09No, no, no.
20:11No, no, no.
20:11We're bad.
20:11We're the bad ones.
20:12Oh, honey, Dad, don't say that.
20:15I'm saying she's not bad.
20:16Well, did you get a book once in a while?
20:18I'll read a book, yeah.
20:19I've got to talk to her instead of saying this.
20:20I make a living, actually.
20:21All right, all right, you're right, enough.
20:22Listen.
20:24Sweetie, what you did to Judy was bad.
20:28Now, Daddy and I...
20:32See, the thing is...
20:36You want me to be nice?
20:38Well, no.
20:39Yes, yes, we want you to be nice.
20:41Yes, wait.
20:41Yeah, it's nice.
20:44Okay.
20:45Okay, good.
20:46Yeah.
20:47Can I go downstairs and watch TV?
20:49Sure.
20:50Yeah.
20:50Go ahead.
20:50Yeah, go.
20:51Go watch TV.
20:52Okay, good.
20:52Have some fun.
20:53Nice, be nice.
20:54Be nice, little girl.
20:56Hey, nice.
20:58See that?
20:59Came up with that all by yourself, hmm?
21:00Well, not really.
21:02What?
21:02What?
21:02She just came up with it.
21:03Oh, come on.
21:04Be nice.
21:04That's my whole thing.
21:07Huh?
21:08Yeah, yes.
21:10See?
21:11Oh, I feel sorry for you.
21:23That's a good one.
21:24Yeah.
21:24All right, all right.
21:25Here's what you can use.
21:27Deborah, Deborah, real good looking.
21:30Never want to try her cooking.
21:36Ah, that's a good one.
21:37Yeah, yeah.
21:37Is that yours?
21:38I'll be right now.
21:39All right, good start.
21:40Hey, what are you guys doing?
21:41Hi, nothing.
21:42How are you?
21:43How are you?
21:43Good.
21:48Let's do one about a butt.
22:16I'll be right now.
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