- 2 days ago
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00:27Come on, come on.
00:30Come on.
00:31Sir?
00:32Sir, excuse me, sir.
00:33Welcome to Wakefield Newtown Leisure Centre.
00:35How may I help you?
00:36I was just checking when the pool was open.
00:389.20 to 12.50, 1.15 to 7.45, sir.
00:40I saw that.
00:41Yes, just one moment.
00:43Could I ask you a question before you go?
00:45Yes.
00:45I wonder, were you planning to use our cafeteria during your visit today?
00:49Well, no.
00:50I only called in to check.
00:51Ah, is there any particular reason why not?
00:53No, as I said...
00:54Now, would you be more prepared to use our cafeteria if we provided vegetarian food?
00:57No.
00:58If we displayed calorie counts for each dish?
01:01No.
01:01Bait our own bread on the premises.
01:04There's no point asking me.
01:06I only called in to check pool times.
01:08OK?
01:09Disposable cutlery?
01:11Oh, please, please.
01:12It would be so helpful if you could...
01:15Have a nice day.
01:16How's it going, Carol?
01:18Oh, Mr. Butters.
01:18You haven't forgotten I want those questionnaires by four o'clock?
01:20No, Mr. Butters, would it matter dreadfully if you didn't have quite all of them?
01:24I need all 100, Carol.
01:27I cannot make meaningful deductions from a statistical sample any smaller than that.
01:31Debbie?
01:32No, of course not.
01:33Basement toilets backing up again.
01:35Oh, morning, Tim.
01:36Patrick's closed down the lid and tried to seal it down with sellotape, but there's definitely
01:38something wrong with those drapes.
01:40I'll call the man.
01:41Tim?
01:41Tim?
01:41Yes?
01:42Have you finished filling in your questionnaires?
01:44I've just handed them to Laura.
01:45Why?
01:45You didn't have any trouble getting people to fill them in?
01:47Oh, absolutely none at all.
01:49Really?
01:49The thing I had to bear in mind was that Mr. Butters needed those forms, and I had to
01:52make sure he got them.
01:53My phone...
01:54That sort of carried me through.
01:55I see.
01:58So, what do you think?
02:00Well, does this mean you'll be going away again, Mr. Butters?
02:02No, I'm not going anywhere, Gabby.
02:04Oh, yes, yes, of course.
02:05But someone else might be.
02:07Right.
02:08Someone who one day may be interested in becoming a manager, or a deputy manager.
02:13Him or herself.
02:16Right.
02:19Oh, you don't mean...
02:20Oh, right!
02:22Nyaaah!
02:24I've been watching you, Gabby Featherly.
02:26There aren't many people on this staff who have what I call LMP.
02:30Leisure management potential.
02:33But you have the attitude, and maybe even the calling.
02:36Oh, goodness.
02:37Let me know what you think at lunchtime, eh?
02:39Mr. Brittus, I wondered, do we really have room for another manager?
02:43I mean, we already have two managers.
02:44Well, three, if you count yourself.
02:46I can't be too specific at this juncture in time, Gavin.
02:50Let's just say there's a possibility that a vacancy for deputy manager may be coming up in the foreseeable future.
02:55You mean someone's leaving?
02:57That I'm not at liberty to discuss, Gavin.
03:00Got to be rather discreet at this point.
03:04Tell Colin to come to my office, please, Carol.
03:09I've got Tim's questionnaires in the pool for you.
03:11Thank you, Laura.
03:13The main thing the public seem to want is higher pay for pool staff.
03:16Really?
03:17Yes.
03:18Yes, according to these, they'd be quite happy to pay twice as much for the ticket if they knew the
03:22money was going straight into the hands of the lifeguards.
03:25Now, that does surprise me.
03:28You're planning to use this sort of information, are you, Mr. Brittus?
03:30This is going to be the basis for a complete overhaul of our administrative structure, Laura.
03:35If I'm to go to Brussels, I want this place to be as sharp and effective as possible.
03:39Oh, good.
03:41Though there is one simple change that I think we all know would do a lot more than anything else.
03:46What's that?
03:47Hasn't it ever occurred to you, Laura, that most of the upsets in this centre are caused by one person?
03:54Well...
03:54One member of the team, Laura, who means well but is consistently the dead pigeon in the jet turbines of
04:01management.
04:02Well...
04:03And have you ever tried to imagine what this place would be like without him?
04:07I have sometimes.
04:08He has to go, Laura.
04:10I cannot justify having a swimming pool manager with a skin condition which means he can't go in water.
04:16Oh, you're talking about Colin?
04:18Of course I'm talking about Colin.
04:20You're not going to fire him.
04:21That man is dead weight, Laura.
04:24Well, you must do what you think best, Mr Brittas.
04:27But I'm telling you now, you're not going to find it easy.
04:29Not today.
04:30I'm so sorry I'm late, Mr Brittas.
04:33Colin?
04:35Just to let you know, I've got your message and I'll be with you as soon as I've made a
04:39rather urgent trip to the toilet.
04:41Er, Colin, what's happened to your eyes?
04:43Ah, yes.
04:44I'm afraid I've been blinded, Mr Brittas.
04:47Still, we mustn't dwell on my little problems.
04:51I'll be as quick as I can.
04:52Do you want a hand, Colin?
04:53I beg your pardon.
04:54Oh, I see what you mean.
04:56No, thank you, Laura.
04:57I should be able to find it on my own.
05:00What happened to him?
05:01His garden blew up.
05:04You know his organic vegetable bed?
05:07Turns out it was built on 70 feet of toxic waste, dating back to the 50s.
05:11Nobody realised quite how much gas was building up until yesterday evening he went to light his charcoal pit and
05:17the hospital wanted to keep him, but he insisted on coming in.
05:22Why?
05:23He didn't want to let you down.
05:24He said you've always taught him to put duty before minor personal discomfort.
05:29I get your message, Laura, but I'm afraid it doesn't change anything.
05:32He's been blinded, Mr Brittas.
05:34Which means he's now medically incapable of doing his job as well as incompetence.
05:39I'm sorry.
05:40When he comes back here, I'm going to fire him.
05:54I shouldn't do that if I were you, Colin.
05:59Laura, what are you doing in here?
06:02This happens to be my office, Colin.
06:05Don't tell me I've taken a wrong turn.
06:08Colin, come here.
06:09I want to talk to you.
06:11Colin, stop right there.
06:13Stay right where you are.
06:15Give me this.
06:16There we go.
06:17I'll take you to the seat, please, Laura.
06:22I don't think you'll need me for this bit.
06:24Oh, I don't know if Colin mentioned it,
06:27but the eye surgeon said there was every chance he may regain his sight
06:31if he avoids all excitement and sudden shocks.
06:34You'll bear that in mind, won't you?
06:36Don't worry about me, Laura.
06:37When you've had something like your garden explode,
06:39what's left to shock you, eh?
06:43Now, Colin, I've been reviewing your job situation.
06:46I never cease to be grateful for it, Mr Brittas.
06:49Colin.
06:49The thing about having a job is it gives you a sense of purpose.
06:52Yes.
06:52And it was one thing I've learned from you, Mr Brittas,
06:54is that if you don't have a purpose in life,
06:56you may as well give up the ghost and throw yourself on the scrap heap.
06:59Colin, would you allow me to speak, please?
07:01Sorry, Mr Brittas.
07:02Right, now, I have something to say to you,
07:05and you're not making it easy for me.
07:09BRITAS!
07:10Yes.
07:11Yes.
07:12Yes, he is, Carol.
07:13Right.
07:14All right, Carol.
07:15Bye.
07:17Colin.
07:18Yes?
07:20Colin.
07:21I have to go downstairs for a minute.
07:24Just wait here.
07:24Will you have a breakfast?
07:25Thank you very much, Mr Brittas.
07:30I've told you, you can put it back, Mr Furnival.
07:32Just as soon as you finish filling in this questionnaire.
07:35Thank you very much.
07:39Whitby Newtown Leisure Centre.
07:40How can I help you?
07:40Oh, Miss Briss.
07:41You want to speak to Miss Briss?
07:43Yes, I can take a message.
07:46You...
07:47want...
07:48a...
07:48divorce?
07:51Yes, I'll say that he gets.
07:53Helen, come on.
07:54Helen, Helen, it's me.
07:55Are you all right?
07:57Of course I don't mind.
07:59I'd love to talk about it.
08:01How soon can you get in?
08:05Oh, Helen.
08:08Have you got Mrs Brittas' box?
08:09Yes, of course.
08:12Come on, tell me all about it.
08:15Right, Carol, what is it?
08:16Ah, Miss Briss.
08:17We've had some news for Colleen.
08:18Yes, it's about his wife.
08:19It's very sad.
08:20You seem...
08:22Linda!
08:23I'm sorry, Miss Briss.
08:24There's all this stuff coming out of the lavatory.
08:28I tried flushing it, but just more of it pours out over the floor.
08:31You must know the routine for a backed-up toilet by now, Linda.
08:35Yes, but...
08:36You block the bowl, put an out-of-order notice on the door,
08:38then get Carol to call some drainage engineers.
08:40Well, as a matter of fact, Mr Briss, I did try earlier...
08:43No, I don't want to hear about trying, Carol.
08:45I want a trained operative here and on the job, all right?
08:47Now, what is it about Colleen's aunt?
08:49Oh, she died.
08:50Died?
08:51Yes, I'm afraid Colleen's going to be terribly upset.
08:53This is the aunt who brought him up as a boy, you see,
08:55after his parents passed away in the combine harvester.
08:59Yes.
09:00The nursing home wanted to know if you wouldn't mind breaking the news.
09:04Right, I'd better do that, Carol.
09:05Yes, ma'am.
09:06I don't want to go to Brussels, Laura.
09:09Oh.
09:10It's bad enough when things go wrong in this country,
09:12but when you can't even speak the language.
09:15Yeah.
09:15I mean, how do I tell a doctor I need stronger pills in Flemish?
09:19You think he might get the job, then?
09:21Oh, he sailed through the first floor interviews.
09:24Everyone thinks because of his medals he's the hero.
09:27And you saw Jeremy Paxman fawning all over him on news night.
09:31I hadn't realised things were going so well.
09:34Oh, I've tried everything to stop him.
09:35Three weeks ago, I even decided to stop letting him, you know.
09:40Just to show him how upset I was.
09:43How's that working?
09:44Oh, it's been hell. I've never felt so pleased.
09:49You met with Gordon, didn't you?
09:50Yeah.
09:51I don't think he's actually noticed yet.
09:55You have told him, have you?
09:57How do you mean?
09:57That you don't want to go to Brussels.
09:59You have actually told him.
10:00You think that would help?
10:03I think it might.
10:05Look, if you like, I can have a...
10:07Oh, would you, Laura?
10:07A divorce would sound so much better coming from me.
10:11I meant that I could say that you wanted to have a talk.
10:14Oh.
10:15Oh, I see.
10:16Well, give me five minutes, eh?
10:18Is that you, Mr Britas?
10:20Yes, Colleen.
10:21Julie very kindly made some coffee.
10:23Can I pour you one?
10:28It's, er, one sugar, isn't it, Mr Britas?
10:32Colleen.
10:34Oh, my word.
10:41That sets you up.
10:43Colleen, Carol's just given me some news for you.
10:46I haven't won the pools, have I?
10:47No.
10:48It's about your aunt, Mrs Witherspoon.
10:50That's Miss, actually, Mr Britas.
10:52She never married.
10:54I'm the nearest thing she has to a son.
10:56Colleen.
10:56Oh, it's not the hiccups again, is it?
10:58What?
10:59Only the last time they lasted a fortnight walk that woman suffered.
11:02Colleen, will you just shut up and let me speak, please?
11:05I'm sorry, Mr Britas.
11:07Colleen, the news is rather serious, I'm afraid.
11:10More serious than hiccups.
11:12I'm afraid it falls to me to have to inform you.
11:16She's died, hasn't she?
11:19Well, yes, she has.
11:20That's typical of you, Mr Britas.
11:22What?
11:23Here you are, trying to spare my feelings and all I can do is chatter away.
11:27I am very sorry, Colleen.
11:28It's all right.
11:29You can't expect.
11:30She was 93.
11:31You can't expect.
11:33Would you have a tissue, please?
11:36There you go.
11:38What have I done, Mr Britas?
11:40It's all right, Colleen.
11:40I'll get it.
11:41Oi!
11:42You, come back!
11:42What?
11:43What is it?
11:43That bird of yours is flying around my office.
11:46Shut the door, Mr Britas!
11:47If it gets out of the centre, we'll never get it back!
11:49Shut the door!
11:52It didn't make it into the passage, did it?
11:56No.
11:57No, it didn't make it into the passage, Colleen.
12:00Oh, sorry, I made such a fuss, Mr Britas.
12:02It's just that with Aunty dying, Jeremy's the last person I've got left.
12:07Come on.
12:09Come to Daddy's, son.
12:11It's all right, Colleen.
12:12I've got it.
12:13Thank heavens for that.
12:18I'll tell you what, Colleen.
12:19I'll take it downstairs.
12:21I think what it needs now is a drink of water.
12:26And you've no idea who did this to you?
12:29No.
12:30Well, I'll go and call a locksmith.
12:32In the meantime, I wonder, would you fill in the questionnaire about her cafeteria?
12:38We've got to pop out for five minutes, Carol.
12:40Anyone need to be mobile.
12:41Yes, Mr Britas, Miss Britas.
12:43Now, Laura.
12:43Your wife wants to talk to you very urgently.
12:45Well, tell her to wait, Will.
12:46You're going to pop down to the pet shop to buy canaries.
12:48She is very upset.
12:50Upset?
12:51Yes.
12:52Have you noticed anything odd about her behaviour recently?
12:55Well, she has been tanked.
12:57Anyone who starts picking off strips of wallpaper at three in the morning
13:00is obviously frustrated about something.
13:02But I am dealing with it, Laura.
13:05Dealing with it?
13:05I bought her a present.
13:15It's a mini keyboard.
13:17It's actually a castle at a club, Laura.
13:19I thought she had an outside interest.
13:21Mr Britas, I think the main cause of the problem is that your wife doesn't want to go to Brussels.
13:26Really?
13:27And I think you should talk to her about it.
13:29I will.
13:29She's in the staff room.
13:30I will, Laura, just as soon as I've found someone to buy this bird foot.
13:33Tim?
13:34Yes, Mr Britas.
13:35I want you to do something for me, please.
13:36It's past the first floor now, Mr Britas.
13:38What?
13:38The toilets.
13:39I've bunged out the ones on the ground floor like you said.
13:41But now it's coming through upstairs.
13:43I thought Carol was calling the drainage engineers.
13:45I did, Mr Britas, but they won't come.
13:47Something about a letter you sent to customs and excise?
13:49But there must be some others.
13:50What about the ones we had last week?
13:51If you mean the people on Tuesday, you sent them home because they had the Union Jack upside down on
13:55their overalls.
13:56I've tried lots of others, but we seem to be on some sort of list.
14:00Look, do you still want me or can I go away?
14:01Yes, I still want you to go down to town and buy another one of these, please.
14:05It's Jeremy.
14:06What?
14:07It's Colin's canary.
14:08What have you done to him?
14:09I haven't done anything, Gavin.
14:11It got trapped in a door.
14:12You killed him.
14:13Just do as you're told, please, Timothy.
14:15As near like this one as you can, please.
14:17You mean with a crushed thorax and blood all over it?
14:19Just do as you're told.
14:26Right.
14:26As I see it, we have one flushing closet on the top floor here with no knowing how long it's
14:31going to hold out.
14:32This is what will happen.
14:34He won't be long, Helen.
14:35Attention, all staff.
14:37Attention, all staff.
14:38We are moving to emergency toilet procedure green.
14:42I repeat, we are moving to ETP green.
14:46This is what it's going to be like in Brussels, isn't it?
14:49Only out there, we won't even understand the ambulance men.
14:52It might not be.
14:54How do you mean?
14:55Has he told you anything about the job?
14:56Oh, he never stops.
14:57No, no, only I just thought.
14:58It's mostly making rules, isn't it?
15:00Preparing reports, setting up initiatives, theory.
15:04So?
15:04Well, he does that sort of thing rather well.
15:06Look, Helen.
15:07Most of the trouble here is because he has to deal with people and he's dreadful at that.
15:11But working in Brussels has got nothing to do with people.
15:14I think he may have found his niche.
15:16His what?
15:17Put him in the right place, Helen.
15:19Make him a square peg and a square hole.
15:21He could be a different person.
15:23Do you really think so?
15:24It could be better for you, better for him, better for everyone.
15:28It's Brussels.
15:29It's quite close to Amsterdam, isn't it?
15:31Quite.
15:33I've always thought they had very sensible laws about drugs and things.
15:38Get on the talking pages, Julie.
15:40There must be someone in this country prepared to rot a drain.
15:43What are you going to do about Colin?
15:44What?
15:44He's still waiting.
15:46Colin.
15:47I'll give him five minutes.
15:48Get his cards ready, will you?
15:49Now, where's that pamphlet I wrote on unemployment?
15:52See you.
15:55Right.
15:59Sorry to have kept you waiting, Colin.
16:02Don't you worry about me, Mr Britas.
16:04Now, you probably know what I want to say to you.
16:07I have a sneaking suspicion, yes.
16:10Well, that makes it easier for both of us, doesn't it?
16:13Let me start by giving you this.
16:16Thank you, Mr Britas.
16:18Now, Colin, you've been here for five years.
16:20Can you still remember our birthdays?
16:23What?
16:25I only wish I could see the card.
16:27Has everybody signed it?
16:29Well, Colin.
16:30I wonder if I could ask a favour, Mr Britas.
16:32Only yours isn't the only card I have this morning.
16:35I wonder, have you time to tell me who they're from?
16:37Yes, of course, Colin.
16:40Right.
16:41Well, this one is from Pauline the Milkman.
16:44Oh, very thoughtful.
16:45This one's from The Young Telegraph.
16:49Happy birthday, clobber.
16:54And this one says,
16:55Dear Colin, I'm so sorry it's all gone.
16:59There's nothing left.
17:00I'm so sorry.
17:01So terribly sorry.
17:02Signed G Adams.
17:03Who's G Adams?
17:04That's my accountant, Mr Britas.
17:07Your accountant?
17:08What's he doing in Rio?
17:09Rio?
17:11No idea, Mr Britas.
17:12I was under the impression he was still living in Wellington Road.
17:15I hope this man hasn't got any of your money, Colin.
17:18Everything, Mr Britas.
17:19Life savings, insurance policies, pension plan.
17:24I see.
17:24It's all right, Mr Britas.
17:26These things happen.
17:28Where are you going, Colin?
17:29I think, if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to work.
17:32Colin, I...
17:33As you so often say, Mr Britas, work is the great healer.
17:37Thank goodness I've still got that, eh?
17:39There wasn't anything else, was there?
17:41Colin...
17:43You just get back to work, Colin.
17:49I have called our engineer, sir.
17:52In the meantime, I wonder, would you mind filling in one of these?
17:57What's going on?
17:58It's the only way I can get anyone to fill in one of these forms, Tim.
18:01Oh, Carol.
18:03What are you doing?
18:03What?
18:05I think you'll find it's all right now, sir.
18:09You fill the forms in yourself, Carol.
18:11That's what everybody else did.
18:13I'll show them.
18:14What are you doing, Tim?
18:15No, no.
18:16Now, that's because Brita says in any genuine survey,
18:182% of the papers are always spoiled.
18:20Now, you think of a name and...
18:22Is that you, Tim?
18:23Colin, I thought you'd gone home.
18:24I haven't actually got a home to go to at the moment, Tim.
18:27Shouldn't we be on duty?
18:28Yes, but you're still...
18:29Ah, Mr. Brita says orders, if you'd like to lead the way.
18:32Yes, yes, of course.
18:34Carol, could you make sure Mr. Brita gets that filing cabinet?
18:37Filing cabinet?
18:38Oh, yes!
18:39Excuse me, I can't seem to find a working lavatory.
18:43No, that's because we haven't any.
18:47I wonder, could you tell me, was it a number one or a number two?
18:52I'm sorry?
18:53Well, if it was a number one, there's a bucket behind the screen in a gymnasium.
18:58And if it's a number two, you want to follow the signs out to the little wooded area that would
19:03do the carriageway.
19:05And if I could ask you to return the spade in a condition that you would expect to find it.
19:10Mr. Brita, I have your canary.
19:13Mr. Brita, everything went all right, did it?
19:16Well, he's a bit more yellow than I'd have liked, Laura.
19:18No, no, no, I'm in with your wife. Is she feeling any better?
19:21Unfortunately, Laura...
19:21You haven't seen her, have you?
19:22I fully intend to.
19:24Yes, of course, I should have realised that buying a canary was far more important than the break-up of
19:28your marriage.
19:29How silly of you!
19:30Laura?
19:31I'm going to see you, Laura. I'm going to see her right now.
19:34Mr. Brita?
19:35Not now, Gavin.
19:36Oh, what is it?
19:37Well, I'm sorry to disturb you, Mr. Brita, but Tim wondered if you were sure about Colin.
19:41What about Colin?
19:41Well, if it was a good idea for him to go back on duty?
19:43Yes.
19:44In the swimming pool?
19:55I'm in trouble here, Tim.
19:59It's OK, I'm on to it.
20:05Help me!
20:09Can you slide something there, Tim? Can you give us a hand?
20:18OK, lad, get a hold of this.
20:24I'll soon have you into the side.
20:29Oh, let's go now, I'll pull you out.
20:32We've got another one, Tim.
20:34I'm not sure I can manage them both on my own.
20:37Tim!
20:38Colin, what the hell do you think you're doing?
20:41Thank heavens you're here, Mr. Brita.
20:42I'm working at a slight disadvantage here, you see.
20:45I'm glad that you've done quite well, Colin.
20:47I've only got one so far.
20:48Oh, no, no, you've got four.
20:50Really?
20:51I've always could see.
20:52I'll be grateful you can't.
20:54Colin, up to my office now.
21:00OK, Linda, getting ambulatory oxygen resources as fast as possible.
21:04Julie, chair to support this lady's head, please.
21:08Quick, come on, this is an emergency.
21:10All right!
21:10Right, there we go.
21:11Patrick, I want you to find out the names of that man's parents
21:14and get them down here.
21:15Sandra, that head injury needs a proper compress.
21:18Medical box left-hand side of the corridor.
21:20Linda, see if you can rustle up some hot drinks.
21:22Gavin blankets and insurance forms.
21:24Is this a good time to talk, Colin?
21:25Not exactly, my dear.
21:26It's all right, Mr. Brita, I'll take over now.
21:28Colin!
21:29Leave that woman alone, Colin.
21:31We have no care to the injury, Mr. Brita.
21:32Get out of here, Colin.
21:33But, Mr. Brita...
21:34Up to my office now.
21:35Yes, right.
21:38Right, that does it.
21:39I want that man out of this building now.
21:41Patrick, attend to her, please.
21:43Julie, not now, my darling.
21:45Julie, write out a cheque for Colin's salary plus a week
21:47and draft a standard thank you and goodbye letter.
21:49You're not going to fire him.
21:50Just watch where you're dripping blood, please, Tim.
21:52I've got the insurance forms, Mr. Brita.
21:53Right, well done, Gavin.
21:54I want you to clear Colin's locker for me.
21:56You'll find some protective gloves in the resources cupboard.
21:58Put everything in a plastic bag and put it by the door.
22:00But you can't do that!
22:01Look, you keep out of this.
22:02You're supposed to be injured, Tim.
22:03Linda, organise a taxi for me, please.
22:05Gordon, it really won't take more than the moment.
22:06You can't fire a blind man on his birthday.
22:08I can do what I want, Tim.
22:10I'm the manager.
22:10Gordon, you are just...
22:11Hi, darling, I think I know what your problem is.
22:13If you take this into the restroom, put some batteries in it,
22:16I think you'll find it will relieve your frustration.
22:19Is it true you killed Mr. Nell?
22:20What?
22:21How can you fire him on the day he's lost all his money?
22:23And his aunt's died.
22:24What?
22:24His favourite aunt died this morning.
22:26Look, for goodness sake, how many times have I told you people
22:29Colin doesn't matter?
22:30Oh, I'll put that in the letter, shall I?
22:32Look, Colin is not important.
22:34Dear Colin, you are not important.
22:35We're running a public service here.
22:37Colin's not important.
22:38I'm not important.
22:39You're not important.
22:40The only person who matters in this building is that lady over there.
22:44Our public.
22:45She doesn't care if it's a blind man with a dead budgery gar in a birthday.
22:49All she wants.
22:50I'll tell you what she wants.
22:51She wants...
22:51I want someone to explain why there is six inches of sewage
22:55in the downstairs changing room.
22:58Can we go over, Mr. Britters?
23:00They're working again.
23:01What?
23:02Toilets all flushing normally.
23:03The goodness knows where all that stuff went.
23:09Well, if you're shoveling it down a toilet, Linda,
23:11of course you're not going to get anywhere.
23:13It's just going to come straight back up in the basement.
23:15Well, if you've run out of buckets, use some saucepans from the cafeteria.
23:19And then you empty it in the area under the swings, alright?
23:23Bye.
23:25Any luck?
23:26Yeah, he's on his way.
23:27About time two.
23:28He's putting his rodding equipment straight in the van and he'll be only eleven hours.
23:32Eleven hours?!
23:33He's a long way from Lannock.
23:35On the other hand, he's never heard of you.
23:37Do you still want this?
23:38No, I certainly do.
23:42Right, Colleen.
23:43No time to be nice about this.
23:45You're fired.
23:46I'm giving you one week's money in lieu of notice.
23:50Laura?
23:51I've been thinking, Mr Buttis.
23:53Where's Colleen?
23:54The reason I've always supported you...
23:57Laura, I don't have time...
23:58No matter what you've done,
23:59however stupid or half-baked everyone thought it was,
24:03I've always known that underneath it all you meant well.
24:05Laura, I have an emergency...
24:06However many people got hurt,
24:08it was always because you were trying to do what you believed was best,
24:12particularly what you believed was best for your staff.
24:14Yeah, you're not still going on about Colleen, are you?
24:17I'm afraid I am.
24:18Colleen is the least of my problems at the moment, Laura.
24:20You can't fire him, Mr Buttis.
24:22Not Colleen.
24:23It's wrong.
24:24Laura, do you think I want to?
24:26Do you think he gives me some sort of pleasure?
24:28I don't have any choice.
24:29He's useless.
24:30You tell me one thing Colleen is good at.
24:33Go on.
24:34Tell me one thing Colleen can do.
24:36I'll tell you what, I'll give you a promise.
24:37If you can tell me one thing that Colleen is good at,
24:41I will make him manager.
24:42Not only that, I'll make him Lord High Executioner of him.
24:45Where's your problem, Mr Buttis?
24:48When I heard downstairs they were getting back up again,
24:51I said to myself,
24:52I wonder, they can't have can they?
24:54So I opened up the gratings and sure enough,
24:57they'll put the R17 in back to front.
24:59What's an R17, Colleen?
25:00It's a one-way solids exclusion valve, Laura.
25:04It works a bit like a cat flap, you see.
25:06This door here is to stop waste matter going back up the floor.
25:10But if you put it in backwards,
25:13I'll put the spare in.
25:15You mean it's working again?
25:16Smooth as ketchup out of a bottle, Mr Buttis.
25:21And don't you worry about the mess, I'll soon clean that up.
25:23Oh, just a minute, Colleen.
25:24I think Mr Buttis may have some good news for you.
25:29Well, Colleen, never hurt a fly.
25:31Not unless it ate something off his skin.
25:33So, we're all agreed then, are we?
25:35Yes.
25:35What did going on strike mean having to stay out of the centre?
25:38Well, there's not much point if we all come to work, Carol.
25:40No, no, I know that,
25:40but some of us do have family commitments in the building.
25:43Well, I'll organise a chest of drawers on the picket line for you.
25:45The important thing is that we all stand together.
25:48Right, right.
25:49I was wondering if Mr Buttis doesn't actually have a point.
25:51What?
25:52Well, I mean, from a management point of view, Colleen is a bit...
25:54Look, if we let him sack someone for not doing his job,
25:57then none of us is safe.
25:58Well, I'm not.
25:59Right.
26:00As union representative, I'll tell Buttis that no one here does any work
26:04until Colleen...
26:05I want six volunteers for the basement.
26:07Colleen!
26:07Thank you, Tim.
26:08Just five more.
26:10I thought you'd been fired.
26:12Fired?
26:13Yes, isn't that why Mr Buttis wanted to see you?
26:14We heard he was looking for a new deputy manager.
26:17Well, I suppose he is, now that I've been promoted.
26:19Promoted?
26:20To manager in charge of building fabric
26:23with a new uniform, a 2.5% pay rise
26:26and my own office in the basement when I've dug it out.
26:31Colleen!
26:31Are you sure you're up to it?
26:33I'm grand, thank you, Carol.
26:35You know, this could have been such a bad day,
26:38but in that special way of his,
26:40Mr Buttis made everything right.
26:42Hey!
26:43Just a minute.
26:48I can see!
26:57Helen!
27:01I was supposed to be seeing you, wasn't I?
27:03Never mind.
27:04I'm sorry, my darling.
27:05Got caught up in a couple of things and then...
27:07I just heard about Colleen.
27:09Colleen?
27:09I've never seen anyone look so happy.
27:11I'm so glad you decided not to fire him.
27:14Well, Colleen's not a bad man, my darling.
27:17The trick with Colleen was to help him find his niche.
27:19I knew if I could do that, it would be better for him,
27:22better for me, better for everyone.
27:24Thank you, sir.
27:26Yes, I think you'll be alright now.
27:28A complete disaster as a swimming pool manager,
27:31but the man does have a good feel for toilets.
27:33Oh, that's nice.
27:35Laura tells me you don't want to go to Brussels.
27:37Oh, that's what I've been trying to tell you.
27:39You see, I think...
27:40My darling, if you don't want to go to Brussels, we won't go.
27:43You mean much more to me than any job.
27:45You do know that, don't you?
27:46No, no, I think a change could be a good idea.
27:49You know, better for you, better for me, better for everyone.
27:53Yay.
27:55What's all this, then?
27:56This happens to be a rather important survey
27:58Carol's been doing about the cafeteria.
28:00Oh.
28:01Who would have thought that what people really wanted
28:03more highchairs, a proper child menu
28:05and an area for breastfeeding?
28:07Really?
28:08Two percent of paper's unfortunately spoiled,
28:11but we normally get that sort of thing.
28:13The big question is, what do we do next?
28:15I have an idea.
28:17Yeah?
28:18Has Julie gone home yet?
28:20Yes, I suppose we've got some freestanding screens
28:22from the lecture hall.
28:23We can cordon off the mother and child area.
28:26Helen?
28:26We're going to do my idea first, Gordon.
28:45That's it,על?
29:04We're going to do!
29:06There's Everywhere, here.
29:08I've never got one of the videos on the internet in the desert,
29:09And with bad people around...
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