- 9 hours ago
Career Day
Caitlin's career test is accidentally switched with Nikki's, which causes The Clones to be nice to Nikki because they think that she is destined to be a retail specialist. Meanwhile, Jude destroys a copy of Wayne's beloved film and is afraid that Wayne will fire him. In addition, Jonesy is working as the mall PA, but gets fired for misusing the microphone and leading Ron on several wild goose chases that Jonesy made up or caused.
Caitlin's career test is accidentally switched with Nikki's, which causes The Clones to be nice to Nikki because they think that she is destined to be a retail specialist. Meanwhile, Jude destroys a copy of Wayne's beloved film and is afraid that Wayne will fire him. In addition, Jonesy is working as the mall PA, but gets fired for misusing the microphone and leading Ron on several wild goose chases that Jonesy made up or caused.
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TVTranscript
00:00Time's less!
00:30Maybe he'll give you his professional opinion.
00:33Oh, no.
00:35Yow!
00:35That's right, it's time for a mall meltdown with the one and only Jones Meister.
00:43Scoot, it is you!
00:46I thought the announcer dude sounded human today.
00:50Thanks, man.
00:51Check it out, I got our aptitude test back.
00:54Shall we round up the posse?
00:57Allow me, dude?
00:58Nicky, Wyatt, Jen, get your butts to the lemon.
01:01The two tests are in.
01:02And for the rest of you out there, listen up.
01:05Here comes the bass now.
01:07Uh-huh.
01:08Let's bolt, man.
01:09I don't want to miss any lingerie fittings while I'm... gone?
01:14Uh-oh.
01:15Why are you polluting my office, scum?
01:19I'm on my duty now, Chief.
01:20Looks like we're neighbors.
01:22Back away from the desk.
01:28You were here!
01:30Everything outside this line is...
01:33It's enemy territory.
01:37Capiche?
01:38But how am I supposed to go to the bathroom?
01:40You hold it!
01:42The mall PA system is not a toy!
01:45It could save your miserable life!
01:48You go tinkle, pal, in your trousers.
01:51Yes, sir!
01:55That dude does not share well with others.
01:59No kidding.
02:00The lingerie fitting must be around here somewhere.
02:03Yeah.
02:03Oh, yeah!
02:04Sweet!
02:09The End
02:13Here.
02:15Oops!
02:16Let me squeeze you.
02:17I mean, help you!
02:19Come back!
02:20You can have this one for free!
02:22Ah, another satisfied mail customer.
02:25Looks like you need these.
02:29Wow!
02:30You really did need them.
02:32Where were you?
02:33Do you know how hard it was for me to get away from work?
02:35hmm real hard I'm guessing yes I have five customers waiting I'm on cash and
02:40I'm supposed to restock the whoa whoa whoa you need to work less your attention
02:45dudes and dudettes today is a momentous occasion I hold in my hand the results
02:52of our high school aptitude test it is my duty as the envelope dude tick tock
03:00dude before we open these envelopes and learn what the multiple-choice gods
03:07have chosen for us that does it bummer there you go little dudes can we please
03:18have the results now please please please please please do careers both rock
03:27Olympic snowboarder or running my own snowboard gear company say my name
03:33good thing it didn't say professional dancer food critic this is awesome I get
03:40to eat anywhere I like and get someone else to pay the bill whoa product spokesmodel
03:45sweet what's a product spokesmodel you get to look pretty and tell everyone about
03:53how great your deodorant is I'm down with that I enjoy looking pretty and I'm a
03:58daily deodorant user what do you get Nikki retail specialist it's okay these tests
04:09aren't a hundred percent accurate maybe it won't be so bad I'm gonna be a travel
04:14writer what did someone say travel writer sorry Nikki that's what Caitlin's gonna be
04:21you're still gonna be a retail specialist
04:28wow that had to hurt I feel nothing I have never written anything I don't even
04:36like English class that much those career people must see something in me that I
04:41don't all I see is black a long black hallway oh wait there's a cliff I'm out of here
04:51aren't you gonna read yours why so I can get depressed about some lousy office job
04:55no thanks later
05:01good call Jonesy this I've got to see I'm gonna go back to work later later oh I can't wait
05:12to start
05:12writing my first article yep words are power check these out the ambiance of the big squeeze is
05:18passable but the lemon smoothies are lacking in character considering the price point that lemon smoothie
05:26was free oh yeah hey dude wait up this DVD of the ranch hands revenge skipped you say
05:35yeah but it was only when the ranch hand was about to kill the bad guy no biggie
05:41no biggie you missed the pivotal scene that's a complete travesty if I were you I would demand free
05:48rentals for a year you would absolutely you got hoes stand up for yourself for Pete's sake
05:54what are you a little girl oh okay I demand free rentals for a year oh sure now
06:02you're outraged do any spine at all you know what you make me sad you're banned from the store get
06:08out
06:13I'm being banned for not complaining that Wayne is one moody dude dude no kidding we've got to watch
06:22our step if Wayne fires us we're out of employment options hey hey cover for me bro done hello
06:39do you know who Oshitake Obligato is course you don't he's a legendary director this is my shrine to him
06:47I see that is a copy of his masterpiece the 77th samurai it's very rare I only watch it when
06:54things get
06:54totally twisted never touch it unless I say so which I won't if I die burn it
07:02okay be warned I made the last fool who touched it swim with the fishes you whacked him oh man
07:13I just dunked
07:14him in the aquariums goldfish pond come on let's get lattes you look like you need one
07:22I love the smell of toddler puke and sawdust in the morning smells like the food court board boy you're
07:29in charge
07:29I won't let you down boss see that you don't you two are still on double secret probation
07:35so will you lend it to me you gotta understand that board warriors 3 stays with me at all times
07:43to protect
07:43me from wipeouts and vampires but I can make you a copy
07:47cool
07:52hello tired old VHS tape you're gonna make star one happy little lady
07:59welcome to the khaki barn
08:02we heard the news
08:03what news
08:04that you're going to be a retail specialist too
08:07uh two
08:08that's what we all got on our aptitude tests
08:11no kidding
08:13okay we totally get it now
08:14you've been in denial all this time
08:16and that's why you were such a big big party pooper
08:20but we're totally cool with you now
08:22sister
08:23I am not your sister
08:27sister
08:28sisters
08:29we are khaki sisters
08:31ooo
08:32ooo
08:33ooo
08:33ooo
08:34ooo
08:35but the stimu latte is a way better morning brew
08:38it ignites the palate
08:39it's for sissies
08:41now the chai choco charmer starts your day on a low charge
08:44so you can arc to caffeine overload gradually
08:47oh yeah well you're looking at a future food critic
08:50I'm getting the impression that you want to get your butt fired
08:53I'll uh get back to work now
08:55do that
08:56I'll just hang here and finish my superior beverage
09:01whatever
09:03what do you mean you taped over the video in the statue
09:06that is Wayne's favorite movie
09:09he's gonna go postal
09:10we need a plan
09:11right
09:14hide
09:25and the gold medal is going to
09:27Jen Masterson of Canada
09:30hmm
09:35excuse me miss
09:36miss
09:37hello
09:39excuse me sir
09:41can someone help me
09:42I'm in great need of help
09:43this isn't the Jen Masterson super focused salesperson
09:46I've come to know
09:47and be slightly freaked by
09:48you know
09:49Jonesy's got a point
09:51Coach Holder's been working me way too hard
09:53you're taking career advice from Jonesy now?
09:56well
09:56it's not like I'm going to be a retail clerk forever
09:59thanks a lot
10:01Masterson!
10:02bad posture
10:03ten minutes in the penalty box for slouching
10:05nobody likes a sloucher
10:08I've sunk to a new low at the barn
10:10the clones are trying to adopt me
10:12ugh
10:12it's gruesome
10:14hey Wyatt
10:16you did what?
10:18he taped over Wayne's only copy of the 77th Samurai
10:21what's the 77th Samurai?
10:24only Wayne's favorite movie of all time
10:26and arguably one of cinema's finest moments
10:29he's gonna kill us
10:30or worse
10:31he could fire us
10:33just put some other tape in its place
10:34I'll be right over
10:35great
10:36uh Jen your penalty's not over yet
10:39what am I doing in here?
10:52yo
10:52okay
10:53calm down
10:54we'll think of something
10:55awesome
10:56this pacing is making me dizzy
10:58and not a good dizzy
11:00there's a good dizzy?
11:03duuuude
11:04Wyatt come with me
11:05there must be another copy of that movie somewhere
11:10this 77th Samurai?
11:12never heard of it
11:13which means
11:14it must suck
11:18what do you mean you never heard of it?
11:20the 77th Samurai is one of cinema's finest moments
11:22come on
11:26look
11:26the Samurai fan club has a list of copies
11:28ooh
11:29there's one right here at the mall at
11:31super terrific happy sushi?
11:34master's in!
11:35half time coffee is over!
11:37hut hut hut
11:38guess you better get back to work
11:40nah
11:40they'll survive without me
11:42great
11:42i'll tell duude the good news
11:45i wonder how my old friends
11:47crystal and blade are doing
11:50so who wants to see my advanced preview screener of starship to mars?
11:56heads up mall people
11:57there's an 80% off sale at Taj Mahome video starting now
12:01huh?
12:03get there while the going's hot and leave with a trunk full of flicks
12:06hot sale
12:13let's have a meeting of all future khaki retail specialists
12:17uh... no
12:17hey nicky
12:18do you know where the 40 pocket cargo pants are?
12:21no
12:22do you know where my life went?
12:24still bummed about your aptitude test?
12:26no no
12:27i love the sensation of being smothered by a large khaki pillow
12:30how's the writing going?
12:32oh
12:33i haven't written anything yet
12:34but finding the right pair of cargos will totally get me in the mood
12:37follow me
12:39oh
12:40and i need a terry hoodie
12:41we've got some great ones in baby blue
12:44ha ha
12:45ha
12:46good news
12:47we found another copy of the movie
12:49huh
12:51jonesy? you there?
12:52security report to the first aid tent on level 2 to patch up some victims of the Taj Mahome stampede
12:56hmm
12:59and to get you there is a sweet remix of one of jonesy's favorites oh yeah
13:05you are so gonna get fired
13:09to borrow 77th samurai
13:11one must prove himself worthy
13:14you must slay
13:16bacteria
13:18um...
13:19how do we do that?
13:20you come here on your bricks and mop out fish locker
13:23ugh
13:24jude, get over here
13:25now
13:25okay
13:26mopping fish is way beyond the call of duty for this girl
13:29later
13:31just in time for fish locker detail
13:33huh?
13:34huh
13:35wow
13:36love to bro
13:37but i've been thinking of myself as more of a spokesmodel dude these days
13:41ah
13:43spokesmodel
13:44hey
13:45hey
13:46hey
13:47who's into raw fish
13:50hehehe
13:50ha ha ha
13:51oof
13:52man
13:54penis spokesfish sucks
13:56while the sushi is fresh the presentation lacks a certain flair
14:01so
14:01less grieber
14:04more sweat
14:06waka no teenager
14:09hmm
14:10what have you written?
14:12hmm
14:12nothing
14:12i'm drawing a total blank
14:16what's that smell?
14:17hey guys
14:18what's up?
14:20why it's been on sushi duty
14:21oh
14:21ew
14:22back
14:23back
14:25a little further
14:26can i borrow some lemons to get the stink off?
14:32why don't you both try to do some writing?
14:34we can go hang out at a restaurant and hog a table all day
14:37okay
14:38but only if you de-stink yourself first
14:43security
14:44witnesses have spotted a kid peeing in the main fountain
14:48security
14:49security
14:49please report to the food court for puke spillage
14:53security
14:54there's a couple making out in the photo booth
14:59okay
15:00i'm ready to write
15:02hmm
15:07hmm
15:08hmm
15:09hmm
15:10hmm
15:11hmm
15:12hmm
15:15hmm
15:16hmm
15:17hmm
15:17hmm
15:18i still can't think of anything to write about
15:20it'll come
15:21how's this
15:22ahem
15:23ahem
15:23the soup is cafeteria quality
15:26and the waitress has a charm of a linebacker with a groin injury
15:30uh
15:30hmm
15:31hmm
15:32huh
15:34oh
15:34hi
15:37ahem
15:39hey
15:39i thought of something to write
15:41i found the flow
15:42thanks quiet
15:44flow is good
15:45fractures
15:46fractures are bad
15:47ugh
15:50nikki
15:50nikster
15:52she's definitely out of it
15:54you said nikster
15:55and she didn't belt you
15:58even after forty years i still love a good sweater sale nikster
16:05let's all get matching ones again
16:12nikster
16:14nikkikins
16:15nicarama ding dong
16:16huh
16:19ahhhh
16:20nikki
16:22are you all right
16:23this can't be happening
16:25how did i end up with retail specialist
16:28there must have been a glitch in your aptitude test
16:32Jude!
16:35He must have switched yours and Caitlyn's results.
16:38You should have gotten travel, writer.
16:40That's it! Oh, oh, thank you, thank you!
16:43Now, should I, should I, should I burst Caitlyn's bubble first or kill Jude?
16:47Decisions, decisions.
16:49Shh!
16:59That totally hot guy just walked away with a lemonade. Unharmed.
17:03She didn't even check out his butt.
17:05Hey, guys! I finally got my writing game on!
17:08I'm doing a piece about my trip to Banff last summer.
17:12Oh, we can't tell her about the mix-up.
17:14Who knows? She might even be good at it.
17:18You're offside, Masterson!
17:20This is your fourth break this shift!
17:22You are finding my way back to work now, sir!
17:26Uh, right.
17:27And then I'll tag all the jockstops for next week's sale.
17:30Yeah! You do that! Nice kid!
17:32Does this mean our afternoon movie plans are canceled?
17:35My big career is still a few years away, and I might need a reference.
17:38I should get back to work.
17:40The Jones Meister is still accepting applications for the position of hot female assistant DJ.
17:47Some people should not be allowed to play with microphones.
17:50Come on in, ladies. Jonesy is ready and waiting.
17:54Son?
17:55Uh-oh.
17:56You've cried wolf one too many times, maggot.
17:59You should be brought up on disorderly conduct charges.
18:03You're a disgrace to these barracks, soldier!
18:06Whoa!
18:07Dispressed!
18:16Pass me the tape, Jude.
18:17I want to make sure it's in mint condition before we put it back on the shelf.
18:22Uh...
18:23Jude?
18:24Where's the tape?
18:25I...
18:26Hey, Jude.
18:27Thanks for the spare tape.
18:29I used it to make another copy of the movie.
18:33AAAAAAAAHHHHH!
18:34AAAAAAAAHHHHH!
18:35What's with all the screaming, ladies?
18:36I won't lie to you, dude.
18:38I copied over your samurai tape.
18:41Twice.
18:42I see.
18:44With what?
18:45Bored Warriors 3.
18:47Ah.
18:48That is just sad.
18:50Does this mean we're fired?
18:53Do you really think I'd be stupid enough to trust you two with my only copy of an Obligato?
18:57I have a moron-proof one at home.
19:00You know, since you're both on probation, I should downsize your pathetic butts right now.
19:05But I have another punishment in mind.
19:08Where is he taking us, bro?
19:11He's going to make us swim with the fishes.
19:13Whoa.
19:14He's gonna whack us?
19:15Nope, but you better hope your fish tooth floats.
19:21What's that fish smell?
19:22Don't ask.
19:30Caitlin, I need a lemon whip. Fast.
19:32Still clinging to that masochistic job of yours?
19:35So far, but Coach Halder is all over me like a rash.
19:38The Olympics are gonna have to wait.
19:40Well, I'm sticking the music from now on.
19:42The food critic business is too...
19:44Ow.
19:45Ditto the spokesmodel gig.
19:47This outfit is giving me a scaly wedgie.
19:50How about you, Caitlin?
19:52Any luck with the writing?
19:53Actually, I loved my travel article so much, I decided to hand it in instead of that Shakespeare essay.
19:58What did Mr. Holmes do?
20:00He failed me.
20:01But, he did say my writing style was excellent.
20:06Way to go, girl.
20:09Well, I got canned from my announcer job.
20:12I'm gonna miss that one.
20:13Yep, things are back to normal.
20:15You have no job and I'm late for mine.
20:18Aren't you even a little curious about your test results?
20:21Okay, since you want to spill so badly, lay it on me.
20:25Sure.
20:25Mr. Floral Designer?
20:28Show me that!
20:29See you later, flower man.
20:32Get back here, Masterson.
20:33I'll show you the flower ranger.
20:36I'll show you the flower ranger.
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