- 2 days ago
The Lords of Malltown
Jude teaches Wyatt to loosen up by coaching him to skateboard like a pro, while Caitlin makes Jen go out with her on an unwanted double-date. Jonesy also works as a janitor in disguise only to be fired for hiding trash throughout the mall and not properly cleaning up the place (the episode title is a reference to the 2005 skateboarding film Lords of Dogtown).
Jude teaches Wyatt to loosen up by coaching him to skateboard like a pro, while Caitlin makes Jen go out with her on an unwanted double-date. Jonesy also works as a janitor in disguise only to be fired for hiding trash throughout the mall and not properly cleaning up the place (the episode title is a reference to the 2005 skateboarding film Lords of Dogtown).
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:10Okay, you will not believe how gorgeous this guy is.
00:15Where is he?
00:16That's him at the cash.
00:19Wow, hunky.
00:21Look at that cute butt.
00:23I know, right?
00:24It looks like it's made of granite.
00:30Is he interested?
00:31He looked like he was totally into me yesterday, but...
00:33Here he comes, act normal.
00:37Hello again.
00:39Oh, hey!
00:41Ah, so you're DNA fans too.
00:44Yo, Chad, special request.
00:46This is Jen.
00:47Hey.
00:48Hey, have you guys met my buddy Carl?
00:52Uh...
00:52Hi.
00:55Oh, you two are friends.
00:57Carl and I go way back.
01:00You have a cute butt too.
01:01Ew.
01:03All right!
01:10That was awesome!
01:12I did it just for you.
01:14Oh, it looked really good.
01:16Thanks.
01:18You can stop looking at my butt any time now.
01:26Oh, man.
01:28We're late for work again.
01:29Wayne's gonna roast our butts.
01:31Relax, dude.
01:32Wayne's cool.
01:34Hey, dude.
01:36Late again, I see.
01:37We can explain.
01:38There was this huge lineup at the bank and...
01:40Chill, my brother.
01:41There's no need for drama.
01:42Just hand over my suck-up coffee.
01:44But that was...
01:46Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, mine.
01:51Told you, dude.
01:52Wayne's cool.
01:53Dude, hand.
01:56Wayne, you're the second person today to tell me to chill.
01:59Do you think I'm too uptight?
02:01Does a fish have lips?
02:02But I can be cool.
02:05Really?
02:06Check out this crazy tattoo action.
02:08I got it on a dare.
02:09What is it?
02:10A tadpole?
02:10It's a music note.
02:12You sure that's not a mole?
02:14Because it looks like a mole.
02:16You seen this?
02:17Uh-huh.
02:17My tattoo kicks his tattoo's butt.
02:20Oh!
02:20Get that away, man!
02:21Yo, I need to disguise fast.
02:24You guys still have those fake mustaches?
02:25Not on me, bro.
02:26Sorry, man.
02:27Hi.
02:28Um, could you recommend a video for a cozy night at home on the couch?
02:33Tango Me Later is good.
02:34It's a commentary on guy-girl relationships.
02:37Very poignant.
02:40Riding Monster Waves 2, definitely.
02:43Oh, sounds intense.
02:45You may not want to watch that one alone, ladies.
02:48Need a little company on that couch?
02:51We have a Moondance Film Festival section I can show you.
02:56We'll take the Monster Wave.
02:58Thanks for the advice, guys.
03:00I don't get it.
03:01Why'd they completely ignore me?
03:02Two words, up and tight.
03:05No, I'm not.
03:06You're tighter than an airlock.
03:08What?
03:08You're so tight, you squeak, man.
03:13Hey, do you two like comic books?
03:15Yes.
03:16No.
03:16Because Nitro Bob is signing his graphic novel at Books, Music and Beyond tonight.
03:21We could check it out, then see a flick.
03:22Nitro who?
03:24Nitro Bob.
03:25He's the genius behind such classic comics as Nitro Bob kicks butt and Nitro Bob, the man, the legend.
03:33We're pretty busy.
03:36Excuse us.
03:39I am not going on a double date with Big Slurp over there, so you can just forget it.
03:44Oh, please, please, please.
03:47Billy is so amazing.
03:49You saw us together?
03:50I think he might be the one.
03:53We can't blow this.
03:55We?
03:55Just one date.
03:57Once Billy and I get to know each other better, you'll never have to speak to Carl again.
04:02Okay, fine.
04:04But just this one.
04:06Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
04:09Hmm.
04:23Hmm.
04:38Excuse me.
04:39Hold on, Jen.
04:41Are you sure you want to spend this much on a hair clip?
04:43I have to look perfect tonight for my date with Billy.
04:46I'm so nervous.
04:49She's nervous?
04:50You should see who I have to spend the night with.
04:53I'd do it for you in a second.
04:54She has no idea how gross this guy is.
04:58Uh, do I have free phone minutes written on my forehead?
05:01Jen, you're a good friend.
05:03Caitlin, you owe her one, okay?
05:05Okay, done.
05:07Thanks, Nikki.
05:08Wish me luck.
05:10Finally.
05:11Where have you been?
05:12I've been caffeine-free for like five hours.
05:14You're welcome.
05:15Here, listen to my newest song.
05:19When you dumped me, you made me feel like a long-lost puppy.
05:25Crying all the time.
05:28I thought that you and I would fly so high like butterflies.
05:38What's wrong with it?
05:39Honestly, you're in a rut.
05:42Your dumped and heartbroken thing is totally tired.
05:45And your sound is kind of, uh, what's the word?
05:50Uptight?
05:51Yes, yes, that's the word I was looking for.
05:53So it's true.
05:55I am uptight.
05:56Even my music sucks now.
05:58I've got to do something.
05:59Hey, ow.
06:02I've fallen into a rut and I can't get out.
06:04You're the only one who can help me.
06:06Bro, I can offer you freedom from your rut.
06:09I can introduce you to the inner world of the skater.
06:14If you're ready for it.
06:15Oh, I'm ready.
06:19The first thing you've got to do is say hello to this little dude.
06:24Um, hello?
06:26Show him who's boss.
06:27Watch this.
06:31Dude!
06:36Dude?
06:38Sweet!
06:39Now you're ready to take this little man for a spin.
06:44Maybe we should have a code word in case I really need to get the heck out of there.
06:48Jen, it'll be fine.
06:50How do you know that?
06:51You only met Billy.
06:53What?
06:53Does that cleaning guy look familiar to you?
06:57Yeah, a little.
06:59Hmm.
07:10You made it.
07:11Hi.
07:12Let's go meet Bob.
07:18You want to see my Nitro Bob tattoo?
07:22No.
07:25Please say something to Carl.
07:28Billy thinks you don't like him.
07:29He's right.
07:33So, Carl, what are these buttons for?
07:37I wore them for Bob.
07:39I love Nitro booty.
07:41Pull my glowing finger.
07:43Hey, come to the travel section with me.
07:46I'll show you where I want to go after graduation.
07:48Okay.
07:49Where are you going?
07:50Nepal.
07:54This your woman?
07:56Yeah.
07:59I mean, no.
08:03This is your time, bro.
08:05Is there anything I need to know?
08:07Wyatt, dude.
08:09Skateboarding is all about getting into the right head space.
08:12In the eyes of a skater, every open space is an opportunity to crank up your speed.
08:19Every garbage can is a potential hurdle to conquer.
08:26Conquer.
08:27Right.
08:28Um, aren't you going to tell me where to put my feet or something?
08:32There are only two crucial steps in learning to skateboard.
08:35Number one, get a board.
08:38Number two, ride it.
08:41Okay, then.
08:45This escalator is yours, dude.
08:49Own it.
08:51You are mine, escalator!
09:03Huh.
09:06Maybe we should take some baby steps first.
09:10Hey, Tina.
09:11Did you invite the rugby team?
09:14What's up?
09:15We're here to trash your house.
09:22Guys, get off the chandelier.
09:25And you brought the tiger.
09:29Check it out.
09:31An alley-oop fishbrain burn twist.
09:39Surf's up, Wyatt, man.
09:41All right.
09:44Check it out.
09:53Okay, this is seriously embarrassing.
09:55I look like a joke.
09:57Hmm.
09:58What you need, dude, is a little privacy.
10:02Follow me.
10:06I've never met anyone like Billy before.
10:09Not only is he cute, he's the funniest guy I've ever met.
10:13And how was your lover boy, Jen?
10:15I've had more fun popping my own zits than I did last night.
10:19Maybe I'm being a little overcritical,
10:21but I like guys who play sports
10:23who don't talk about how great their last burp was.
10:27Hi, Billy.
10:29Hi, Billy.
10:30Tomorrow afternoon?
10:31Yeah, I'm free.
10:32Uh-oh.
10:33Don't worry.
10:34Caitlin already promised no more double dates.
10:37Jen?
10:38Oh, I don't know.
10:40She's pretty busy with practice and stuff.
10:44Oh.
10:45Well, okay.
10:47Sure.
10:48She'll be there.
10:49Tell me you didn't just book me on another double date.
10:52Are you out of your mind?
10:54But Billy and Carl are best buddies,
10:56and Carl doesn't have anyone else to hang out with.
10:58Isn't that sweet?
10:59You wouldn't think it was so sweet
11:01if you spent an evening sitting next to a human fart machine.
11:04It won't be like a date.
11:06It will just be four people having lunch for like 45 minutes.
11:09I promise.
11:10I don't know.
11:12Please, please, please.
11:15Fine.
11:1645 minutes, not 46.
11:20I'm going to regret this, aren't I?
11:22Undoubtedly.
11:29Welcome to your very own private skateboarding school.
11:33You can wipe out as many times as you want here,
11:36humiliation free.
11:37I don't know, Jude.
11:39Maybe I'm just not the risk-taker.
11:40I see now that the escalator was probably a bad call.
11:45But don't worry.
11:46You'll be riding this mall like a giant wave in no time, bro.
11:50First, we'll fix your stance.
12:08Yes!
12:08You killed that one!
12:10Woo-ha-ha!
12:16Jonesy?
12:18Ah!
12:22Okay.
12:24I'm busted.
12:25What's with the disguise, dude?
12:27Isn't it obvious?
12:29I don't want anyone to know I'm the mall janitor.
12:31My street cred will plummet.
12:33What's wrong with being a janitor?
12:34You've had worse jobs than this.
12:35Yeah.
12:36Remember when you had to dress up like a giant banana?
12:39And a soup can?
12:40Oh!
12:40And that milkmaid costume?
12:42That was way worse, dude.
12:45My plan is to do this for about three weeks,
12:48save up some green,
12:49then ride out the rest of the year work free.
12:52That would be two weeks and six days longer
12:54than you've kept any other job.
12:56Good luck, dude.
12:56I've got to go.
12:58Just don't tell anyone,
12:59especially Nicky.
13:01Don't worry.
13:02It's in the vault.
13:04Wyatt, you've mastered the basics.
13:06Now, it's time to play!
13:14I like to call this particular game
13:16Annoy the Rent-A-Cop.
13:19Follow my lead.
13:29Payback.
13:31Maggot.
13:33Come on.
13:34I know you want some.
13:37Cut it out.
13:39Okay, maybe one.
13:42Just four people having lunch, huh?
13:45Want one of my fries?
13:47Caitlin, bathroom break.
13:49Now.
13:51Okay, Carl thinks he's on a date with me,
13:53which isn't surprising
13:54since we might as well be alone at the table.
13:57Hello?
13:58Caitlin?
13:58Did you see the way Billy looked at me?
14:02He has the cutest smile.
14:05Okay, whatever you do,
14:07just don't leave me alone with Carl.
14:09Washroom check!
14:14Jonesy?
14:15Is that you?
14:16Why are you wearing a beard?
14:18And checking washrooms?
14:20I'm trying to keep this gig on the QT.
14:22Why?
14:23You're not embarrassed, are you?
14:26Nah.
14:26Just don't tell Nikki.
14:28Deal.
14:29Come on, Jen.
14:29Billy's waiting.
14:35Washroom check.
14:36Still here.
14:40Carl, come on, man.
14:41I really don't want to blow it with this girl.
14:43Caitlin's the real thing.
14:45Just try to show some manners around Jen.
14:47Sorry, Billy.
14:49No worries.
14:49No, I'm sorry.
14:54No, Carl, that's disgusting.
14:58Silent, but deadly.
15:01We're back.
15:12Hey, how's it going?
15:14Thanks, man.
15:15Hey!
15:24Hey, come back here, punk!
15:29Hey!
15:43Billy and I are going to go check out a matinee.
15:45Caitlin!
15:47Here!
15:47Lunch and dessert are on me.
15:52Well, I'm out of here.
15:54You want to, you know, hook up again later or something?
15:59Look, nothing personal, but I am not.
16:01Nor will I ever be even remotely interested in you, Carl.
16:06Gee, you ever heard of the word no?
16:10Sorry, I just don't like being set up with people, especially ones who fart at dinner.
16:15I hear you.
16:16Billy's a good guy, and he's really into your friend.
16:20Yeah, well, Caitlin's pretty amazing, too.
16:22Most of the time.
16:24Yeah, you did her a pretty big favor.
16:26I'd say she owes you.
16:29How big do you think she owes me exactly?
16:32Really, obscenely, massively big-time owes you.
16:37Waitress!
16:40This is the best cup of coffee I've ever had.
16:44Dude.
16:46Wyatt!
16:46You were amazing out there on your skateboard.
16:49The way you totally harassed that rent-a-cop was so hot.
16:54Death moves out there, Wyatt.
16:57Nice, Wyatt.
16:59Oh, yeah.
17:00I'm out of my rut.
17:03Oh, yeah.
17:06Hmm.
17:08Oops.
17:10Oh, excuse me, cleaning staff.
17:13We have a spillover here?
17:17Hmm, I think you missed a spot.
17:20Have we met before?
17:22Because I think that beard of yours is really hot.
17:28Okay.
17:29Who told her?
17:32Bring it on.
17:32You got some janitor jokes for me?
17:34Want to tell me how rank I smell, huh?
17:37I don't care about your job.
17:38Can't be any worse than working at the tacky barn.
17:41I guess I won't be needing these anymore.
17:44So, dude, I have the most awesome idea for doing some rap tricks.
17:47What's that, dude?
17:48We get Jonesy over here to help us empty the fountain, then we take it over at Skateboard Central.
17:53Are you nuts?
17:54You're running out of limbs to break as it is.
17:57Okay, okay.
17:58Hey, that sounds a little intense, dude, even for me.
18:04So, Caitlin, I think you're really special, and I'd like to see more of you.
18:09A lot more.
18:11Oh, my gosh.
18:12I'm so sorry.
18:13No worries.
18:24Oh, my gosh.
18:26What happened to your back?
18:28It's just a bit of acne.
18:30Now, where were we?
18:37Hey, Caitlin, here's your wallet.
18:39Billy and I broke up.
18:40Oh, no.
18:41What happened?
18:43He had...
18:44Bacne.
18:46Uh-huh.
18:47And?
18:48And that's it.
18:49It was so gross, Jen.
18:52I don't believe this.
18:54You broke up with Billy because of a pimple on his back?
18:57There were, like, 20.
18:59So you forced me and Carl to sit through two double dates to help you hook up with the one,
19:04and you go and dump him for a skin condition?
19:07And I was actually starting to feel bad about yesterday.
19:11Why?
19:11Well, after the restaurant, Carl and I went to the arcade, and then the amusement park,
19:16and Caitlin paid for the whole thing.
19:20Good one.
19:23Thanks for a great evening, Caitlin.
19:32Good one.
19:32Shouldn't you be at work?
19:33Nope.
19:34I can't.
19:35Something about a bunch of complaints.
19:37Sorry to hear that, dude.
19:38I just wish I'd kept my disguise on.
19:41I could have reapplied as myself this time.
19:43Hey.
19:44All right!
19:45All right!
19:46So are we gonna hear you whine about Serena dumping you again?
19:49Serena who?
19:54Check it out.
19:56I've been down and out.
19:58Took the long way down the track.
20:01But now I'm back.
20:06Something had to change.
20:08Now I take life day to day.
20:10And live for the now.
20:14Oh, live for the now.
20:18Live for the now.
20:22I live for the now.
20:26Yeah.
20:28Yeah.
Comments