- 7 hours ago
The New Guy
Ron the Rent-a-cop hires an assistant security guard, Kai (Drew Nelson), who is way more fun than Ron. But after the gang gets Ron to quit, they find out that the assistant security guard is nothing but an inexperienced rookie. When Caitlin sees how sad Ron is without his job, she gets him to hang out with them. But after finding out what a downer Ron is, the others don't want to hang out with him and make another plan to get Ron's job back.
Ron the Rent-a-cop hires an assistant security guard, Kai (Drew Nelson), who is way more fun than Ron. But after the gang gets Ron to quit, they find out that the assistant security guard is nothing but an inexperienced rookie. When Caitlin sees how sad Ron is without his job, she gets him to hang out with them. But after finding out what a downer Ron is, the others don't want to hang out with him and make another plan to get Ron's job back.
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TVTranscript
00:00Time's less!
00:09Let's move, you fartknockers. Time to open up shop.
00:13What's the hurry?
00:14We only sell specialized indie movies, and no one who watches those is up this early.
00:19I don't own the store. Crazy Pete does.
00:21If I owned it, do you think I'd be in on the weekends at all?
00:25Hold up, yo.
00:26So, Wayne, how about a job?
00:28No.
00:30Why not?
00:31Top five reasons?
00:32One, you think Top M16s is a good movie.
00:35Two, you're smug.
00:37Three, you're lazier than I am.
00:39Four, and this is a big one, I don't like you.
00:42Oh, and five, I've already fired you.
00:44Yeah, but now I'm really desperate for a job.
00:48Okay, fine. Admit Top M16s sucks and you're in.
00:51Never! Top M16s will go down as the best movie of the 20th century!
00:56Okay, now you're trying to bug me.
01:00Have you even seen the star of that movie lately? Huh?
01:04Yeah, so he's crazy. So what? It doesn't detract from the impact of the...
01:09Whoa! Did you just pull my hair?
01:10You fight like a girl!
01:13Dudes!
01:18He didn't sell out to Taj Mahome Video.
01:21No way. He wouldn't do that to us.
01:24Guys, we've been Taj'd!
01:39Wow. That was really good.
01:41I know.
01:44Hey, I have your gown.
01:46Ew, gross.
01:48See you at lunch?
01:49Yeah, you bet.
01:50Later!
01:51Finally! Can we go now?
01:53Oh, I'm sorry.
01:54Joe is just so great.
01:57We've only been going out for two weeks,
01:58and I've already been invited on a family wedding date.
02:01What?
02:02Usually holidays and weddings are fair strictly for long-term girlfriend-boyfriend relationships.
02:07So, it's a good thing?
02:08Yes!
02:09It means I've moved up a whole level on the exclusivity scale, like...
02:13Overnight!
02:19No way!
02:21Do you know who this is?
02:24Fabrice, stylist to the stars?
02:26Fabrice is only the most famous hairstylist in the film business.
02:31It's as if the stars themselves are actually here.
02:35These scissors have touched Jessica Stinson and Lindsay Lonegan's hair.
02:39Caitlin, don't play with the scissors.
02:41So, if he's so famous, what's he doing here at the mall?
02:44He's opening a salon and doing 20 free cuts today.
02:48Are you serious?
02:51Sign me up!
02:52Wait, he'll be doing the cuts here?
02:55In the middle of the mall?
02:56What if I get caught?
02:57By who?
02:58By Andre, my regular stylist.
03:00Remember that disastrous home perm I gave myself in sixth grade?
03:03Andre reversed it for me, and I've been going to him ever since.
03:07So then, just stick with him.
03:08Okay, but Fabrice is a genius.
03:11All right, so take the free cut and then go back to Andre.
03:14But what if I hurt Andre's feelings?
03:16Hairstylists are very sensitive, you know.
03:18They can tell if you cheat on them.
03:20Okay, that's it.
03:20It's obvious you want Fabrice, so I'm signing you up.
03:24I'm gonna look so hot!
03:26And just in time for the wedding!
03:27Yay!
03:30Welcome to Taj Mahomes Video's newest department, Indie Films.
03:33What?
03:34Hey, I know you guys.
03:35You used to be cool.
03:38Nice hats.
03:40Let me bring you up to speed.
03:41As of today, you are officially part of the Taj Mahomes Video family.
03:45Crazy Pete would never sell out.
03:48Would.
03:49Could.
03:50Did.
03:50Why would you guys want this crappy little store anyway?
03:53You're huge!
03:54Simple.
03:55Taj Mahomes is the leader in every category of video rentals and sales except for one.
04:00Indie Films.
04:00Now, if you'll follow us, we'll get your uniforms set up.
04:04Uniforms?
04:04Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
04:09Wow.
04:10Now I'm glad you didn't hire me.
04:20So you're sure Andre was busy?
04:22Absolutely.
04:23He has three highlight appointments back-to-back this act.
04:26He's not going anywhere.
04:27Next up is Caitlin Cook.
04:33Look at you, you darling thing.
04:36What can I do for you?
04:37Oh, I defer to your vast hairstyling expertise.
04:41Just make me fabulous.
04:43Excellent.
04:44I'm thinking punk meets classic.
04:46You likey?
04:47Oh, yes.
04:49I likey.
04:59Quick, take a picture, because this is the hottest new-looking hair.
05:09What?
05:10Isn't it fabulous?
05:13Guys?
05:17Guys?
05:31I guess she doesn't like it.
05:37All right, looking good.
05:40Welcome to our morning spirits-up session.
05:42Morning what?
05:52At Taj Mahome, we try to please.
05:56We specialize in video and DVDs.
06:01With a thousand stores across the nation,
06:05We force the competition into starvation.
06:10With a please, you'll join our team.
06:13With a lot of fun, if you know what I mean,
06:15Now we own your store as well.
06:17And stock can be yours if you sell, sell, sell.
06:22Remember, I'm not the ways we love to sell,
06:24And you'll all go so very, very well.
06:27It's easy to sell a DVD to a spa,
06:29Who's a table to his TV.
06:33Now you're part of the Dars Mahome team.
06:41Katelyn, are you okay?
06:42Don't come in!
06:43I'm too ugly!
06:46I'm hideous!
06:49I'm a freak!
06:51You are not a freak!
06:53I have a mullet, Jen!
06:55It's not that bad.
06:59Okay, yeah, it's that bad.
07:01He actually put in mullet extensions.
07:04Wow.
07:05Oh, what do I do?
07:07I can't go to a wedding with a red mullet!
07:12Why don't you go back to Andre?
07:14I can't!
07:15If I go to him looking like this,
07:17He'll know I cheated with another stylist.
07:20Well, he might believe some kid did it to you in your sleep.
07:23D'awww!
07:25Okay, okay, calm down.
07:27I know someone who can help.
07:29We'll take it from here, Nikki.
07:32Okay, the first thing we need to fix
07:34is this hideous hair color.
07:40I believe the policy on greeting customers is
07:43Welcome to Taj Mahome Video's Indie section.
07:46Drop dead.
07:47Fine.
07:48I'm sure Blade and Christo would love to hear
07:50how you're ignoring the rules.
07:51Okay, that's it!
07:52You're toast!
07:53Bring it on, Aladdin!
07:55That's enough, guys!
07:57I am not working for a big box store.
08:00I think I can actually feel my soul dying inside me.
08:04There's nothing we can do.
08:05They own us.
08:06Do you want to cheer every morning before your coffee?
08:09No.
08:10Right!
08:10So let's think.
08:12You should have hired me.
08:15Easy!
08:16I know your pants are riding up your butt right now,
08:19but don't take it out on me.
08:21Wait.
08:21Taj Mahome Video only bought us
08:23because we sell lots of weird videos, right?
08:26Yeah.
08:27So what would happen if Underground stopped making money?
08:32He's right.
08:33If they were running our department at a loss,
08:35the Taj would have to sell us off.
08:37Jude, if this works,
08:38you get free rentals for the rest of your life.
08:41Sweet!
08:43All finished.
08:45What have you done?
08:47I thought you guys knew what you were doing.
08:49We do.
08:50Green balances out red.
08:52That's why you apply green tinted moisturizer
08:54to reduce the redness.
08:56On your face?
08:57It doesn't work that way with hair.
09:00Uh, yeah.
09:00And now we know that.
09:04Wait.
09:05I have one more idea.
09:07Here.
09:08It's the Bad Hair Day hoodie
09:10with the extra wide hood.
09:15It's Joe!
09:16Cover me!
09:17Hey, have you seen Caitlin around?
09:20Hi.
09:20Uh-huh.
09:21We haven't seen her all day.
09:24Hey, look!
09:25Free movies!
09:30Oops.
09:30Must have been mistaken.
09:33Look, I just wanted to check in with her about the wedding.
09:35Sorry.
09:36She's not here.
09:37Well, tell her I said hi.
09:39Sure.
09:40Bye.
09:40Catch you later.
09:42Later.
09:43See ya.
09:46Oof.
09:49You can't hide from Joe forever, Caitlin.
09:51Why didn't you just tell him the truth?
09:53Because of this.
09:55Oh.
09:56Yeah.
09:56Uh, a good call.
09:58No!
10:09Okay.
10:10So the plan is to chase every customer out of the store and to try and lose money at every
10:15opportunity.
10:16Not a problem.
10:20Can I just ask you something, because you're here every day?
10:24Don't you have any friends?
10:27Hey.
10:28Oh, goody, the vampire is here.
10:31The tanning salon, is that a way?
10:33Yeah.
10:35Do you carry Celine Murray unplugged?
10:37Try the deli. Just ask for the cheese section.
10:43Excuse me.
10:44No, excuse me.
10:51Nasty.
10:52Mission accomplished.
10:54Good strategy, though.
10:56I'll take that.
10:59There you go.
11:00That should ensure that the tape is completely erased.
11:04Well, won't that mean I can't watch the movie?
11:07Yeah, have a nice day.
11:12We're still making money here.
11:14We're gonna have to crank this operation up a notch.
11:16Amateurs?
11:17I'm the world champion at losing money, and I'm sitting here on my butt, an unused resource.
11:22It's true, dude.
11:24Yeah.
11:25I'll wear this turban to a concert before I hire you back.
11:29Okay.
11:30Men, do your worst.
11:33Aye aye, Captain.
11:34The guy dies at the end.
11:38The guy's a ghost, but doesn't know it yet.
11:40That's the big twist.
11:42Thanks a lot.
11:51Dude?
11:51No.
11:52Oh, no.
11:54Whoa.
12:00Nice shiner, buddy.
12:03Gutsiest move I ever saw, man.
12:08Stupid loyal customers.
12:10You keep making money.
12:12The best advice in the biz is just a few feet away.
12:16I've got the plan to end all plans.
12:18Just get Wayne to hire me back, and it's yours.
12:22I'm gonna get more ice.
12:24Why don't you just help them now, Jonesy?
12:28Why is the lemon closed?
12:30I went to a new hair stylist.
12:32Man, that's bad.
12:34I know.
12:35I'm hideous.
12:37Why don't you just go back to your usual guy and ask him to fix it?
12:39I can't show him.
12:41He cannot ever know that I cheated on him, or he'll never book me in again.
12:45That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
12:47It's like saying, I can't buy hockey pucks from any store but the penalty box.
12:52It is totally not the same thing.
12:54It's like cheating on a boyfriend.
12:56I mean, you get close to someone, tell them all your secrets, and then just brutally dump them for someone
13:00more famous.
13:02What do you guys think I should do?
13:04If you ever want to show your face to Joe again, you're gonna have to come clean.
13:08You're right!
13:10Let's do this.
13:12Okay.
13:13I'm going in.
13:16That's it.
13:17Butter him up with the free Squishy.
13:19Ooh, Squishy refused.
13:22He can't see me until Tuesday.
13:24I'm not gonna be able to go to this wedding.
13:27Oh, yes you will.
13:28I've got a plan.
13:31Uh, so, you think it's me?
13:33Uh, oh, yeah.
13:35Yeah.
13:36That is so fetch.
13:38Uh, very, uh, retro.
13:42Retro.
13:43And, and it totally covers all of your real hair.
13:46So, uh, let's go.
13:48Let's go.
13:55What?
13:57Yo, my sister.
13:58Catch you on the flip side, soul queen.
14:00Uh!
14:07Why did you tell her to take off the wig?
14:10You want her showing up at a wedding looking like a deranged disco queen?
14:13I'll catch you later.
14:15Jonesy's right.
14:16My only hope is to skip the wedding and try to avoid Joe until Tuesday.
14:23It's him!
14:24Hello?
14:26Oh, I'm, uh, homesick.
14:33I'm so sick.
14:34I don't think I can come to the wedding.
14:39Okay.
14:40Thanks.
14:41Bye.
14:43He sounded so sad.
14:45Are you sure you want to miss this wedding over a bad hair day?
14:49And have him see me like this?
14:51Definitely.
14:51Oh, I am never going to anyone but Andre again.
14:58We've got a serious problem here.
15:00Oh, I'd say we have a few.
15:02Where would you like to start?
15:03How about this?
15:04There's no partying going on.
15:07It's the Taj Mahomes video party patrol.
15:09Come on!
15:10Let's see your team spirit!
15:12Let's get it!
15:18Most thing snobs for dinner party.
15:22We have films that are totally artsy.
15:27A fun night in with just the girls.
15:31Watch our romance as you break your curves.
15:36And if you want a really bad scare
15:39And to the living dead if you dare
15:41We've got your movie
15:42It's all good
15:43Action, romance, Bollywood
15:49This has got to end
15:51I'm going to ask you guys to go ahead and learn all the songs for tomorrow
15:54Alrighty
15:55Thanks
15:58In the name of all that is precious
16:01Hire Jonesy
16:03If you want this ship to go under
16:05He's the only man for the job
16:10Alright
16:15Yo, speak
16:16It's Wayne, you're hired
16:18Ouch
16:19Well, well, welly, well, well
16:22If you admit that Top M16s is a great film
16:26I'll consider your offer
16:27No way
16:28Okay then, if you'll excuse me
16:30I've got more ogling to do
16:32Okay
16:33Top M16s is a great film
16:37Say, Top M16s is a cinematic masterpiece
16:41Top M16s is a cinematic masterpiece
16:45I want you to make me believe it
16:47Yell it for me
16:48I love Top M16s
16:50Show me Top M16s
16:53I love Top M16s
16:54Show me the movie
16:55Show me the movie
16:57Top M16s is the best movie ever made
17:00Top M16s is the best movie ever made in the history of movies
17:04He's really making him work for it
17:07Take Top M16s and put it on the Wayne's Picks wall
17:10Do it, do it
17:11Okay, it's on my Picks wall
17:13Now will you just get your butt down here
17:15I don't know
17:16I'm a little busy
17:21All right, I'll be right there
17:23Consider your store bankrupt
17:27All right, listen up
17:2970% of the customers in this store are guys, right?
17:32Well, we're about to turn every single one of them off this store for good
17:36And I've got the perfect weapon
17:42But they're all hot
17:44Do you trust me or don't you?
17:46We trust you, we trust you
17:48Think his family would have liked me?
17:51Definitely
17:51What's not to like?
17:53Guys, you've got to see this
17:55Come on
17:56I can't
17:57What if I run into Joe?
17:59Jen, are you coming?
18:00Come on
18:01Go
18:01Tell me all about it
18:03I'll just sit here
18:04Alone
18:06Ugly
18:07No way
18:12What did I tell you?
18:14This is just so bad
18:17That's the idea
18:26It's working
18:27No one's coming in
18:29How do you like that spirit, huh?
18:38Hey dude, have you seen Caitlyn?
18:40Not since this afternoon
18:41Hey, you're good friends with her
18:43Do you think she's acting kind of weird lately?
18:45I feel like she's avoiding me
18:46All I know is that she was feeling really guilty about cheating on some guy
18:50Oh?
18:51Well, just pass on a message for me
18:53We're through
18:53You got it
18:56Okay, dude
18:57Thanks
18:59I can't believe he dumped me
19:01He must have seen my hair
19:04There he is
19:06Hey, I want to talk to you
19:08How could you dump me over a haircut?
19:10I mean, okay
19:11It was a really, really bad haircut
19:13But a woman has an inalienable right to choose her own hairstyle
19:17I broke up with you because Jude told me you cheated on me
19:20What?
19:21Jude said you were avoiding me because you cheated
19:23Oh, I cheated on my hairstylist, not on you
19:26Yes, I know
19:27It was a really awful thing to go do
19:29But it was Fabrice
19:31So, we're okay?
19:33Totally
19:33And you have to come to the wedding
19:34But bring the wig
19:37Okay
19:44So, it worked
19:45Taj Mahome Video finally caved and sold underground off cheap to me
19:50Victory is ours
19:52So, now we can take these dresses off, right?
19:55Uh-huh
19:56And you, my friend, will now be getting all of your rentals free
19:59Cool
20:00So, now you're the owner?
20:02You know what this means, don't you?
20:03I get free rentals, too?
20:05Sweet
20:06No, you're fired
20:08What?
20:08After I saved your store and wore this for two days, you'd do that?
20:13Oh, and top M16s?
20:15Sucks
20:15Hi
20:17Nice hair
20:18So, how was the wedding?
20:20Oh, it was so dreamy
20:22What do you think?
20:25Fabrice did it
20:25I think we should talk
20:27Maybe this relationship is going a bit too fast
20:31Oh, he's done
20:32Like a turkey dinner
20:36A turkey dinner
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