- 2 days ago
The Wedding Destroyers
As the wedding between Jonesy's Dad and Jen's Mom approaches, it's all too clear that the amalgamation of the two families is not going to be smooth sailing. The feud starts when Jonesy sees Jen topless. When "Grind Me" gets double booked for their Mom's wedding shower and Jonesy's Dad's Stag, everything breaks loose. The parents are finally forced to make a decision to postpone their wedding until the children are grown and out of the house. The kids and parents want to work things out. Meanwhile, The Clones accuse Nikki of stealing merchandise, and desperately call in Ron the Rent-a-cop to prove it
As the wedding between Jonesy's Dad and Jen's Mom approaches, it's all too clear that the amalgamation of the two families is not going to be smooth sailing. The feud starts when Jonesy sees Jen topless. When "Grind Me" gets double booked for their Mom's wedding shower and Jonesy's Dad's Stag, everything breaks loose. The parents are finally forced to make a decision to postpone their wedding until the children are grown and out of the house. The kids and parents want to work things out. Meanwhile, The Clones accuse Nikki of stealing merchandise, and desperately call in Ron the Rent-a-cop to prove it
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00:10I can't believe my wedding is only seven days away.
00:13Tell me about it. I'm about to inherit three smelly stepbrothers.
00:17I don't think this dress will fit me.
00:19Sure it will. And don't forget, they'll be my smelly stepsons.
00:23Yeah, well, you don't have to share a bathroom with them.
00:25Oh, maybe it won't be that bad.
00:27You don't know, Mom. They spit all over the sink, leave their nasty underwear on the ground, and they never
00:32wash their towels.
00:34Oh, and yesterday, they ate all the nacho chips.
00:39I'm not saying that I don't want you to marry Jonesy's dad.
00:42I just wish we could stay in our house instead of moving into theirs.
00:46Jen, we already went over this. Their house is much bigger than ours, and there's seven of us now.
00:51At least Jonesy and Diego are moving up to the loft as soon as it's finished so we can have
00:54their rooms.
00:55All set.
00:57Oh, Courtney, you look beautiful!
01:04It's so pretty, Mom.
01:06Oh, you have the perfect body for this dress.
01:10Jen, come out. Let's see you.
01:14Oh, dear.
01:19I know, I know. Flat-chested Jen can't even fill out a size six!
01:24That's so weird. My size six fits me perfectly.
01:28I'll start peeling.
01:30Ow! Watch it!
01:32She has surprisingly large thighs.
01:35Oh! I hate this wedding!
01:55Do you like white flowers or pink?
01:57I... don't... care.
02:00Do you think you'll get married outdoors or inside a church?
02:07Oh, my gosh! You look awful! What's wrong?
02:11Oh, nothing. Except that I had zero bathroom time this morning. It's bad enough Courtney needs an hour in front
02:18of the mirror.
02:18But now I have to deal with three boys, too. And they'll fight you for the bathroom. I have practically
02:23no feeling left in my upper arm.
02:25Surprise, surprise. The move-in's not going well.
02:27No. And don't even ask about the dress. Here, let me fix you up.
02:32Why can't they get married and just stay in their own houses? Then everything would be perfect.
02:36Good thinking. Then you could yell even louder at each other.
02:39I don't think it works that way.
02:42Well, it should. It would be better for the kids. Jonesy and his brothers are impossible.
02:47Excusez-moi, it's girls that are impossible to deal with. Try having a bathroom drawer stuffed with tampons and makeup
02:54and listening to chick music all night.
02:56Oh, yuck.
02:58Exactly!
02:59We only moved in two days ago, and already they're playing Couch Commando and totally hogging the remote.
03:04Oh, I hate that!
03:06Then, the guys have this rule about the big comfy armchair.
03:09Oh, the eating chair? Yeah, that's the one.
03:11Anyone who's eating gets to sit in it. And if someone has a bigger meal than you, then they get
03:16to kick you out of the chair.
03:17Which is so unfair because they're guys. We'll never eat more than them.
03:22Okay, that is a great rule.
03:24Cool. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
03:27I ate an entire pint of ice cream last night just to be able to sit in the chair for
03:3120 minutes.
03:32You can't change 16 years of tradition. That's how it's always been, and that's how it will always be.
03:37I have to get to work. At least one thing in my life hasn't changed. Later, girls.
03:44What? Have a cow, why don't you?
03:49Ugh, gross!
03:54You're offside, Masterton!
03:57Fine. Give me a penalty. But it's not my fault. His beef do stink.
04:07Holy! Oh my lord! Holy jumping!
04:11Yellow. Okay. Am I overreacting, or are all men barbarians?
04:16Guys are like badly trained dogs. They'd all pee on the furniture if we let them.
04:21You don't think that if I like Jonesy's dad, it's kind of cheating on my dad, do you?
04:25I mean, even though he's gone, I still feel like he's my dad.
04:29I think he'd be psyched to know you have someone cool like Jonesy's dad to be your stepfather.
04:33He'd want you to be happy.
04:35Can you believe such a nice dad has such annoying sons?
04:38I know. They must be adopted or something.
04:45Jen, I've got to go. The clones are staring at me.
04:49Yes? What is that?
04:52It's a bandana. We use it to decorate customers, remember?
04:56Why is it stuck in your pocket?
04:58I don't know. I was decorating the front window like you told me to, and I must have stuck it
05:01in my pocket.
05:02Admit it. You were trying to steal this bandana.
05:05Yeah, right. I wouldn't be caught dead in one of these.
05:08Maybe you'd be caught alive.
05:10What?
05:11That's not all. Our khaki barn logo label gun is missing too.
05:16Oh, and what would I do with one of those? Wallpaper my bedroom with khaki barn logos?
05:21Ooh, cute idea!
05:23Okay, is the interrogation over or are you going to call in CSI?
05:26We'll be watching you, Nikki.
05:31Ah!
05:32Uh, that must have been so bad in a previous life.
05:41I thought you girls already tried your dresses on.
05:44Knock, knock.
05:46Mine's already perfect, but Jen needed a second fitting.
05:49I heard that.
05:51You guys clean up pretty well.
05:53I've got to say, I look pretty money in this tux.
05:56I am so the man.
06:04I can barely move in this dress now.
06:08Well, chicks at Grind Me are going to go wild when they see me in these duds at the stag
06:12party.
06:12Did you just say your stag party is at Grind Me?
06:15Yep. Thursday night, baby.
06:17They double booked us?
06:19So? Grind Me's a big place. We can have them both there. It'll be fun.
06:22You can't have a stag party at the same place we're having our shower.
06:26Why not?
06:28Nice dress.
06:30Shut it.
06:30Because showers are nice, classy events.
06:32And what the heck does your dad need a stag for anyway? He's been married before.
06:37Well, what the heck does your mom need a shower for?
06:40It's tradition.
06:41Exactly.
06:42And you're supposed to be wearing purple ties to match our dresses?
06:45We like green.
06:47Well, too bad.
06:48Who says you get to decide?
06:50That's just the way it is.
06:51I don't want to wear a purple tie.
06:57Ow.
06:58Take it easy, sis.
07:01Josie, control your brothers.
07:05Okay, we'll wear the stupid purple ties, but we're not moving the stag.
07:09We booked it first.
07:11And another thing.
07:18I hate guys.
07:24We'll just move the stag.
07:37Hey, no!
07:44What's going on?
07:45A baby blue tube top has gone missing.
07:48Care to enlighten us?
07:50Okay, how about it's ugly and never should have been available for public consumption?
07:54We think you stole it.
07:56Fascinating.
07:57Do you have any proof?
07:58We don't need proof.
07:59We voted, and we all think that you did it.
08:02Oh, now this is a democracy?
08:04No, it's a khaki-ocracy.
08:06And if we had proof, you'd be fired by now.
08:09Right now, we're just majorly suspicious.
08:11Okay, this is starting to get annoying.
08:15From now on, you carried this into and out of the store with all your belongings in it, so we
08:21can see them clearly.
08:22You're kidding, right?
08:23I wish I was.
08:25Wait.
08:26No, I don't.
08:30Nice bag, Nikki.
08:32The clones think I'm trying to steal their crappy clothing.
08:35Bug off, you nosy little creep.
08:38So, how's the moving going?
08:40Last night, Jen just started crying out of nowhere.
08:43Well, there had to be a reason, Jonesy.
08:45Did you ask her?
08:45I don't know.
08:46Something about no one listening to her or something.
08:49I wasn't really paying attention.
08:51Huh?
09:02What happened here?
09:04I feel it, too.
09:05Serious tension.
09:06Jonesy saw Jen naked yesterday.
09:10Ow!
09:11She's your stepsister.
09:12Show a little respect.
09:14And you...
09:15It was an accident.
09:16I swear.
09:16I didn't see anything.
09:17It's actually good that this happened now and not in a year or two when you finally get your boobs,
09:22Jen.
09:22Ow!
09:23Can we just go and get this stupid present now, please?
09:28Ah.
09:30Ah.
09:31Ah.
09:32No.
09:32No way.
09:33Oh, we are not getting them a massage chair.
09:36You guys just want it for yourselves.
09:38Frankly, I'm insulted that you would even say that.
09:42Ah.
09:42Ah.
09:43A Tush Control 3000 is not an appropriate wedding gift.
09:47Oh, wait.
09:48The lumbar cycle's about to start.
09:50Wait for it.
09:51Wait for it.
09:53Ah.
09:55No way, Jonesy.
09:57There's an easy way to settle this.
09:59We'll do it the democratic way and take a vote.
10:02All in favor of the Tush Control 3000, say aye.
10:05Aye.
10:07Sorry.
10:07We can't help it if you're outnumbered.
10:10Ring this up, my good man, and tie a bow on it, will you?
10:13It's a gift.
10:16This is so not fair.
10:18You can't just do this.
10:20Calm down now.
10:21Tell you what, we'll let you pick the color.
10:26Ah.
10:28Come on, Courtney.
10:30That was harsh.
10:31But we got the chair.
10:33Calm down.
10:34I can't believe that guy.
10:35We've got to get them back.
10:37Seriously, if we don't put a stop to this now,
10:39think of how it's going to be after the wedding.
10:42Oh, I know.
10:43And I think I know just how to do it.
10:54No, but Dad.
10:56But Dad.
10:58Great Wall of China, this sucks.
11:01Let's go, boys.
11:04Welcome to the khaki barn.
11:11What?
11:12Stop staring at me!
11:16Do you think this would be appropriate for a wedding shower?
11:19Careful.
11:20She might steal your purse.
11:28It's so weird seeing your mom get married.
11:31But you do like Jonesy's dad, right?
11:33Sure, he's okay.
11:35I just wish the guys weren't such guys.
11:38Don't worry.
11:39They should be getting the good news any minute now.
11:41Hey, what's the big idea?
11:43Diego and I were supposed to split the cool loft space in the attic.
11:47But someone just convinced my dad to give it to Jen and Courtney.
11:51Yes, we're just picking our paint color now.
11:54Want to help?
11:55How'd you do it, huh?
11:56You pulled the sweet little girl act, didn't you?
11:58Maybe.
11:59Do you like this one?
12:00Ooh, good choice.
12:02That is totally offside.
12:04He has no experience with daughters.
12:06He doesn't know how to say no.
12:07We can't help it if we're resourceful.
12:10Gee, I feel calm right now.
12:11Do you feel calm?
12:12I feel really calm.
12:14So you want to play this way now?
12:16Fine.
12:17We're not moving the stag.
12:19What?
12:20You said you were going to.
12:21That was before you stole our loft.
12:23So you can throw your little wedding shower at Grind Me if you want.
12:26But we will be there.
12:29Fine.
12:37I understand there's been an H-719 Section B Disturbancy.
12:43That's right, officer.
12:45You suspect an inside job?
12:47Oh, definitely.
12:48So inside.
12:50Oh, come on.
12:51You actually called in the rent-a-cop?
12:54That's mall security officer.
12:56Is that the perp?
13:08Girls, this is such a lovely party.
13:10You've done a beautiful job.
13:18You go, bro.
13:24There just had to be a game on.
13:27Finger sandwiches, anyone?
13:29Oh, streaking.
13:36Was that my new stepson?
13:37Oh, that is it.
13:47Yeah!
13:50What the streaking?
13:56But we booked it until 10 p.m.
13:58You never said anything about noise restrictions.
14:01This is so unfair.
14:03Ugh.
14:05Well, I guess we'd better get going.
14:08Thank you for a lovely party, girls.
14:13Good times while it lasted, bro.
14:17Well, I hope you're happy.
14:18Us?
14:19You guys just ruined our wedding shower.
14:21You know what?
14:22Just don't talk to me again.
14:24Ever!
14:24Fine by me!
14:36Let me in there, missy.
14:37Look, can you just go away for a while?
14:40Negative.
14:41You go, I go.
14:42There are items in that washroom that need to be protected.
14:53Okay, okay, that's it.
14:55I can't live like this.
14:56I quit.
14:57No way!
14:58Yes!
14:59My work here is done.
15:01I don't know how to thank you.
15:03Uh-oh.
15:05Uh, Chrissy?
15:07Chrissy?
15:07What?
15:14Stanley has something to say to you girls.
15:18Sorry I stole all this stuff.
15:21I don't know what to say.
15:23He's usually such a good little boy.
15:26Uh, thank you for returning these.
15:31She's really going to make me grovel, isn't she?
15:41I can still remember the time when my mom first met Mr. Garcia.
15:45It was when I was five years old and we had just moved into the neighborhood and our basement was
15:50flooded.
15:50Actually, I think they met at our little league game.
15:53Uh, no, it was when the basement leaked.
15:55Your dad helped bail us out.
15:56I think he's right.
15:57I think you're right, dude.
15:59Okay, anyway.
16:01A lot has happened and now we all have to live together, so cheers.
16:07Hey!
16:09Oops!
16:11Uh, Nikki?
16:14Can we talk to you?
16:19We know you didn't steal anything.
16:22It was that annoying little boy who comes in here with his mom.
16:25You know, the mom who dresses like a cougar.
16:27We brought you your knapsack.
16:29You can use it any time in the store.
16:32Gee, thanks, Kirsten.
16:34I'll be sure to mention that when I call head office.
16:36Tell them about how you guys harassed me.
16:38Later.
16:38Wait, you can have any shifts you want.
16:41An unlimited elite washroom usage.
16:43And two extra breaks a day.
16:46Make a three and you have a deal.
16:48You are such a pig.
16:49You've had like ten of these already.
16:55Ew, were you just staring at my chest?
16:58Pervert!
16:59No!
17:00Ew, no!
17:01I wasn't that!
17:02That's it!
17:03You are such a jerk!
17:05Hey, if you're so hungry, take mine!
17:07This is getting really ugly, dude.
17:13Excuse me, excuse me, everyone.
17:15We have an announcement to make.
17:16Where did you learn your manners anyway?
17:18A barnyard?
17:19The only cow around here is you.
17:22We have decided to postpone the wedding.
17:25We had no idea how miserable this was making you all,
17:29but it's clear to us now that you just aren't ready for this kind of change.
17:34So we've decided to wait until you're all grown up and on your own.
17:40Wow, I feel so bad.
17:43You should.
17:44Shut up, you little pain in my butt.
17:45Guys, you've got to stop it!
17:47You're ruining your parents' wedding.
17:50Nikki's right.
17:51And as much as I can't stand you guys, your dad does make our mom really happy.
17:56Yeah, ditto.
17:57But what are we going to do?
17:58We can't agree on anything.
18:00We need someone neutral.
18:02Someone who's gotten out of tough situations before.
18:05Someone you all respect.
18:07How important is the respect part?
18:11Gentlemen, ladies, I know seeing your parents get married is about as comfortable as wearing a pair of synthetic thong
18:18underwear.
18:19But from where I sit, you soldiers have it pretty good.
18:25Good.
18:26Now let's turn you maggots into a family.
18:30I don't feel as if I'm being heard.
18:32Like, when I say I really have to pee, I really have to pee.
18:36You will let the girls into the washroom when they have to pee.
18:39Deal.
18:41The rules of the eating chair must be observed.
18:44It's tradition.
18:47Will you concede at least one hour of girl programming per night if the girls agree to relinquish all rights
18:53to said chair?
18:54We will.
18:55Very well.
18:56Let's call that bylaw 27.
18:58And in accordance, the girls shall play their chick music at a sound level no louder than 110 decibels.
19:04And the boys shall refrain from farting in presence of the girls.
19:08All parties copacetic?
19:09Yes.
19:10Okay.
19:10Definitely.
19:11Sign here.
19:12I now pronounce you a family.
19:14Nice.
19:15Thanks, man.
19:16You saved our lives.
19:18I know.
19:18Now suck it up, you little mama's boy.
19:21And go tell your parents the wedding is on.
19:35I love you, mom.
19:37Love you, too, sweetie.
19:38And thank you.
19:54Everybody smile.
19:56Yeah!
19:56Okay!
19:58Mmm.
20:01This is one heck of a good cake.
20:06Hey, you can stop staring at my boobs any time.
20:10Gosh, you guys are annoying.
20:11Yeah, but you'll grow to love us.
20:14So, it's official.
20:16You're my brother now.
20:17I guess it could be worse.
20:19Yeah, you're not so bad.
20:21By the way, as your new brother, I think I should warn you, we can all see your underwear.
20:31I think I'm gonna like having sisters.
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