#nostalgia #tvcommercials #videogamecommercials #gamingcommercials #oldvideogamecommercials #90scommercials #90sads #1990scommercials #2000scommercials #2000sads #2001commercials #1991 #1992 #blockbuster #tacobell #nintendo #nintendocommercials #mcdonalds #dailymotion #youtube #facebook #twitter #twitch #motiongraphics #deezer #tv #dlive #instagram #stream #motion #twitchstreamer #fightingmentalillness #twitchclips #twitchretweet #twitchaffiliate #twitchshare #ant #scribaland #tiktok #greece #spotify #gelio #games #vimeo #google #motionmate #youtuber #greekquotes #vhs #fullmovies #fullmovie #Music #Video #Funny #Gaming #Viral #Trending #Movie #Trailers #Sports #News #Entertainment #Education #Howto #DIY #Travel #Food #Animals #Cars #Technology #Science #top #acharliebrownthanksgiving #timetraveltv #charliebrown #2000 #a #animated #movie #movies #anime #videogames
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:05In this episode of Scientific Truth Journal, we'll explore the theory of evolution, and we'll
00:11implicitly mock the people who hold opposing viewpoints.
00:14Ugh, evolution.
00:16What a crock.
00:17Can we change it, please?
00:18Evolution is a scientific fact, unless you're ignorant.
00:22If it's a fact, why is it called a theory?
00:25There are scientific reasons.
00:27It's all very complicated.
00:28Give me one good argument for evolution.
00:31First of all, the only alternative is unthinkable.
00:38It's raining toads.
00:40Maybe I should say the only alternative is unproven.
00:43Is that your whole argument?
00:44No.
00:45There's extensive fossil records.
00:48Extensive fossil records, including this definitive find on the African subcontinent.
00:55It's a skull fragment of our earliest ancestors.
00:59I have found the missing link.
01:03Look, the rest of the skull.
01:13I'll grant you that some of the evidence is inconclusive, but when you put it all together...
01:17Thanks to Advanced Computer Graphics and Clay, we have recreated the missing link.
01:24Now, this would be a good time for you to renounce your irrational belief in evolution and change the channel.
01:31I'd like to hear your theory.
01:33My theory is that all the species that ever existed are still around.
01:37They're just hiding.
01:38That's ridiculous.
01:40Hey, guys.
01:41Hi, Bob.
01:46Finally.
03:18Who had the unmitigated goal to soil my mouse with their grubby paws?
03:23Hey, shut up in here.
03:25Some of us are trying to work.
03:29Hypothetically.
03:30My cubicle's been defiled.
03:32Someone's been in here.
03:33Did they take anything?
03:34I don't think so, but...
03:35Is that a yes?
03:38Someone's been accessing the internet with my computer.
03:41I'm no psychologist, but I think Dilbert is suffering from manic-depressive episodes coupled with an acute delusional paranoia.
03:47If you're not a psychologist, then how can you say that?
03:51I'm entitled to my opinion.
03:52Wally?
03:53Yes?
03:53Were you using my cubicle?
03:55I barely use my own cubicle.
03:57Alice?
03:58Please.
03:58Your cubicle's a hotbed for cooties.
04:00You can get fired for using the internet for personal stuff.
04:04You're in big trouble.
04:05How many personal websites have you accessed?
04:07I haven't accessed any.
04:08So you say.
04:12Ew!
04:12I touched your mouse!
04:16Ew!
04:17Ew!
04:17What the hell am I thinking?
04:18Look at all those websites on the history log.
04:20I've never heard of any of them.
04:21Elf, hooters, naked troll booty, little people, huge...
04:28What was I thinking?
04:31Someone's into hardcore leprechaun porn.
04:34Big time.
04:34Dilbert, you disgust me!
04:36It wasn't me!
04:39Boss alert.
04:43Am I interrupting anything important?
04:44We've never done anything important.
04:46Well, before you do, I need the three of you to attend a meeting with the vendor who sells
04:51us the dully dry erase markers for the whiteboards.
04:54Why?
04:55Just because they asked for a meeting?
04:56Right.
04:57I said I'd go, and I realized I'd have to have some technical support.
05:01Technical support?
05:02For marker pens?
05:04Do I detect a hint of sarcasm in your voice?
05:07No!
05:08I didn't think so.
05:09You don't know where these conversations can end up.
05:12You start with dry erase markers.
05:13Next thing you know, you're talking about...
05:15Oh, I don't know.
05:16Something very technical?
05:18Exactly.
05:19See, Wally knows.
05:20I know it's a meeting with outside vendors, and that means free food.
05:24And quality.
05:25Not those stale chips and the black guacamole.
05:27What color is guacamole supposed to be?
05:31All right, all right.
05:32What time?
05:32Check with your secretary.
05:34I don't have a secretary.
05:35Oh, too bad.
05:36They're really quite great.
05:43Hey, here's a strange coincidence.
05:45Another website that's been surfed.
05:47The Dully Dry Erase Marker website.
05:49Someone around here is into a weird scene.
05:52Says the woman who collects unicorn art.
05:56Email.
06:02Busted.
06:03Someone's going down.
06:05Someone's going to take the fall.
06:06Someone's going to...
06:07Wally, shut up.
06:08You'll be okay if you just stick with the story you told us.
06:11It's not a story.
06:13Hey, that's good.
06:14That look of indignation really sells it.
06:25Do you have an appointment?
06:27You called me.
06:28Excuse me.
06:29I said...
06:30Answer my question.
06:31I did.
06:32I did.
06:33I see.
06:35Still want to play games.
06:37Me?
06:37Yes, you.
06:38What do you want with me?
06:39Sign the papers.
06:40I can't see them.
06:41Oh, poor you.
06:42It's just a simple confession.
06:44Standard procedure in the human resources department.
06:47Using the internet for personal business.
06:49Pilfering dry erase markers.
06:51Kidnapping the Lindbergh baby.
06:53Shooting Larry Flint.
06:55Wait a minute.
06:55I'm not signing this.
06:57Oh, yes you are.
06:58I make a fortune that autograph shows.
07:00Hey, wait a minute.
07:02I didn't do any of these things.
07:03You should have thought of that before I forged your confession.
07:06Thanks for playing.
07:07Now, go away.
07:12Attention, attention.
07:13Dilbert has signed the confession.
07:15You may treat him like a pariah.
07:17That is all.
07:19Also, outside vendor meeting in conference room.
07:28Come on, Dilbert.
07:29We know a shortcut to the meeting.
07:32Where are we?
07:33In the Jefferies tube?
07:35It's the air conditioning duct.
07:37Oh, that's a disappointment.
07:39We're close to the conference room.
07:41I smell free lunch meat.
07:43And, if I'm not mistaken, cantaloupe.
07:48Why would someone leave a dry erase marker here?
07:51Maybe it's empty.
07:52That answer is, like, so stupid.
07:54Never mind that.
07:55We're here.
07:59Food glorious.
08:01Ah!
08:02Oh, my Lord.
08:04Pick clean.
08:05This can't be happening.
08:07We're the only ones who knew the shortcut.
08:09Wally, pull yourself together.
08:11Put the feed bag on, boys!
08:14The food!
08:15It's gone!
08:17All the food!
08:18It's gone!
08:20It's all gone!
08:21Gone!
08:22The food!
08:24It's all gone!
08:27Why couldn't you share?
08:31It wasn't me.
08:32Ask Dilbert.
08:33Wally didn't eat anything.
08:34I can vouch for him.
08:36Then maybe it was Dilbert.
08:37Tell him, Wally.
08:38Tell him what happened.
08:38Well, I wasn't with him the whole time.
08:41Wally, you wouldn't want me to lie, would you?
08:43He's a pig!
08:44Get a fool!
08:45String him up!
08:45Hang Dilbert!
08:46Get a rope!
08:46Back down!
08:47None of us ate it.
08:48It was like this one we got here.
08:49How do we know it wasn't you, Alice?
08:52Yeah!
08:53I can prove it!
08:55Look here!
08:58Any more questions?
09:0267, 68.
09:03Okay, you see, yesterday I had 273 staples in here.
09:07Today, 272.
09:09Did you staple anything?
09:11Oh.
09:12Yeah.
09:13But I'm definitely missing 26 millimeters of scotch tape.
09:17And someone used my ruler.
09:18How can you tell?
09:19Is it shorter or something?
09:21Look at the edge.
09:22That's graphite from a regular pencil.
09:24I only use mechanical pencils with the ruler.
09:27Doesn't leave a mark.
09:28Here's your mail, Dilbert.
09:30Troll TNA,
09:31Pygmies in panties,
09:32and hot homunculi.
09:34Great!
09:35Now I'm on a mailing list.
09:38Hello, Thumbelina.
09:40That's disgusting!
09:41I could sue you both for making this a hostile workplace.
09:43Ten minutes ago, you beat a man senseless.
09:45He was senseless before I beat him.
09:47We've got to solve this thing.
09:49Let's start by making a list of all the missing items on the board.
09:53Oh, there are a lot of advantages to tiny women.
09:56Give me those.
09:58Now hand me a dry erase marker, please.
10:01I don't see any.
10:02It's right over...
10:03Hey, where'd it go?
10:04Don't have a panic attack.
10:05I'll get you one.
10:12Wait, mine are all gone, too.
10:13Same here.
10:14This is very odd.
10:16I wonder if the literature says anything about this phenomenon.
10:20Hello?
10:21Hello?
10:28That's it?
10:29There's only one left?
10:33Got it.
10:34Hey!
10:35Hey, hey!
10:37What's going on?
10:41Okay.
10:42Oh!
10:46What happened?
10:48We're not alone.
10:57All right.
10:58First things first.
11:00Unless something more important comes up, and then we can handle that prior to the first
11:05thing.
11:05Wouldn't the thing prior to the first thing be the first thing?
11:08Technically, we're doing the first thing now.
11:10So that would be the second thing.
11:12Everything's moving so fast!
11:14One of the topics, I forget which one, is the rash of thefts in the office.
11:21You can get a rash from stealing?
11:22I think I had that once.
11:24Our losses due to the theft of dry erase markers has skyrocketed.
11:28It's ruining the company.
11:30Why don't we stop buying dry erase markers?
11:32Because then we wouldn't have any.
11:34We don't have any now.
11:35Alice, you're thinking like an engineer.
11:38Try to think like a manager.
11:40Okay.
11:41I can't think.
11:42Does anyone have a theory about who's taking the dry erase markers?
11:47Well, this might sound crazy.
11:48I'm all ears.
11:50Well, not really, but go on.
11:52I believe the markers are being stolen by tiny people.
11:56A new species, like elves.
11:58Sort of an evolutionary offshoot from humans.
12:00I don't know why you would think that would sound crazy.
12:03Woo woo.
12:04Well, dammit, how do we stop this evolution thing?
12:07We can't stop evolution.
12:09If anything, it may be an opportunity to understand it better.
12:13Loud Howard?
12:14I'm afraid of tiny people.
12:16They can run in your mouth.
12:20Am I the only one worried about that?
12:22These tiny people can't be evolved from us.
12:25If they were, they'd be size of an intermediate species.
12:29People who are in between normal-sized people and elf-sized people.
12:34Shut up.
12:35We can't handle this situation alone.
12:37We need someone who is an expert on evolution.
12:40How about someone who finds elves using a divining rod?
12:44No, that would be like the opposite of what we need.
12:47Oh, too bad.
12:48I hired him this morning.
12:51Grab a seat.
12:53Empty chair.
12:57This is ridiculous.
12:58You can't find tiny people with a stick.
13:00That's what they said to Jonas Salk.
13:02Jonas Salk invented the polio vaccine.
13:05Yes, but after they told him that he couldn't find tiny people with a stick.
13:09Fine, you use the stick.
13:10I've got a few tricks in my engineering bag.
13:13You don't have an engineering bag.
13:15You could use Alice.
13:17Ow!
13:22It looks like a variation on the Lancaster Phelps containment design.
13:26But can it catch an elf?
13:28That's the question.
13:30Only one thing can kill an elf.
13:32A silver bullet.
13:34After I find them, it's up to you to gun them down.
13:37These aren't real silver bullets.
13:38They're just regular bullets, spray-painted silver.
13:41Mine's only half-painted.
13:43I need more silver.
13:51It is done.
13:54If any beam is broken, it will set off the system.
13:57And now, the cheese.
14:12All right, Wally.
14:13It's my watch.
14:14You can catch some sleep and...
14:18Wally, wake up!
14:21What?
14:22How long have you been asleep?
14:23I'm not sure.
14:24What's today?
14:25Oh!
14:2699 dry erase markers on the whiteboard.
14:2999 dry erase markers.
14:31You take one down and sniff it all dry.
14:3499 dry erase markers.
14:36Wait, wait, wait, wait!
14:39It looks like a variation on the Lancaster Phelps containment design.
14:43Damn, they're not elves.
14:44They're tiny engineers.
14:46Gross!
14:47Only one way around this design.
14:49Every design has an Achilles heel.
15:01Hey, they're getting away!
15:03It's a nerd, Courtney.
15:08You go that way.
15:09I'll go this way.
15:10Why?
15:11Why?
15:11Why what?
15:12Why do you get to go that way?
15:14Maybe somebody else would like to go that way.
15:16Do you want to go that way?
15:17Not particularly.
15:19Then go that way!
15:26Uh-oh, the man!
15:27Ah!
15:39Hey, guys, quick.
15:41You gotta see this.
15:52Whoa, little freaks.
15:54Wait a minute.
15:56Isn't that Bill from the test engineering group?
15:58Yeah.
15:58And Joan from tech support?
16:00She once held the elevator for me.
16:03Ooh, man.
16:04And Marsha.
16:05And Ted and Henry.
16:06I thought they were laid off years ago.
16:07Ted, you tiny bastard.
16:09You owe me five bucks.
16:10Shh!
16:11They're gonna scare them off.
16:12They've been downsized.
16:14Literally.
16:15They're disgusting vermin.
16:18Just because they're small?
16:19No.
16:20I shared a cubicle with that Ted guy.
16:22Pee you!
16:22I think they're all hooked on sniffing those markers.
16:25To blunt the pain of their bleak, dismal existence.
16:29You think that helps?
16:30I guess they just stayed in the building after the layoffs.
16:33Close to their source of markers.
16:34What should we do?
16:35I never would have thought downsizing would have such a literal impact on their cellular structure.
16:41We have to help them.
16:42Okay.
16:43Except for Ted, who I will keep in a terrarium.
16:46And you doubted the power of the divining rod.
16:51The little people have been located.
16:54Here's a picture of one of them.
16:57Run for your lives!
17:00They're not dangerous.
17:02They're actual former employees who were downsized.
17:05They seem to be addicted to the dry erase markers.
17:08Is it that hard to see ourselves in their tiny shoes?
17:17Oh, well, yes.
17:20So, anyway, seriously.
17:22To get rid of the infestation, I've hired a mysterious foreigner who says he can lure them out by playing
17:28an irresistible melody on his piccolo.
17:33And when that doesn't work, I pump the building full of insecticide.
17:37Insecticide?
17:38You can't kill them just because they're annoying.
17:40You don't really know until you try.
17:52Hey, man, get off the stage, you suck!
17:55Save the ring for us!
17:56Sugar Magnolia!
17:58Not only are they small and sneaky, they know nothing about music.
18:02On to phase two.
18:10You know, I think you could have waited for the weekend when we weren't here.
18:13Oh, don't be such a baby.
18:14I was assured that the insecticide is almost never deadly to full-grown humans.
18:17Now, suck it up and get back to work.
18:19Where are you going?
18:20Me?
18:21I'm taking a long lunch.
18:22I'll be back Thursday.
18:27Look, I can fly!
18:29Just saw a guy.
18:30This stuff is better than the markers.
18:33There'll be no stopping them now.
18:35They're gonna take over.
18:37Maybe?
18:38We should shoot them.
18:41Why?
18:42They haven't done anything wrong.
18:45I think the blonde is smiling at me.
18:48She's inebriated.
18:49All the better.
19:08Who's gonna sign for this?
19:10I will.
19:11But may you sign last time.
19:12Allow me.
19:14Keep it coming, bro.
19:21Whoa-ho-ho, Gilbert's stressed.
19:24Come on, bro.
19:25Get on the love train.
19:27I'm a little busy right now.
19:28I'll catch you later, train.
19:30Dig you later.
19:32There it is.
19:33Survival of the fittest.
19:34At least Wally made the cut.
19:36Aha!
19:37So you finally admit that I'm right about evolution.
19:40Not if you want my help.
19:43Once the telecommunications hub is gone,
19:46the little people won't be able to order new dry-erase markers.
19:52Ow!
19:54Oh!
19:57Oh!
20:03Oh!
20:12Huh!
20:12Huh!
20:14Huh!
20:14Huh!
20:15Huh?
20:15Huh?
20:16Huh?
20:16Huh?
20:16Huh?
20:17Huh?
20:17Huh?
20:18Huh?
20:18Huh?
20:18Huh?
20:18Huh?
20:18Huh?
20:19Marker. I need marker.
20:26Nothing.
20:28What now, Gulliver?
20:30Look at them. It's pathetic.
20:31They need to leave this environment, start fresh, build new lives.
20:36We could sell them as toys and make a fortune.
20:38No. I'm talking about lending a hand and you're talking about exploitation.
20:42As if there's a difference.
20:44There is.
20:45Well, excuse my capitalism.
20:46They just need a change of scenery. Then they'll straighten out.
20:50Is that your expert opinion as an engineer?
20:52I'm going to help these people.
20:54After your idealism is crushed, feel free to plead for my help.
20:58Does anyone have the number of dry erase markers, Anonymous?
21:32Dog burt!
21:42Collect them all, kids
21:43There's Phil from marketing
21:45Peg from payroll
21:46Gwen from accounting
21:47The supply is limited
21:48So they can only go up in value
21:50Dry erase markers sold separately
21:52So, who's first?
21:54Hey, hey, hey
21:55Over here, over here
21:56Meet me over here
22:29We'll see you next time
Comments