#nostalgia #tvcommercials #videogamecommercials #gamingcommercials #oldvideogamecommercials #90scommercials #90sads #1990scommercials #2000scommercials #2000sads #2001commercials #1991 #1992 #blockbuster #tacobell #nintendo #nintendocommercials #mcdonalds #dailymotion #youtube #facebook #twitter #twitch #motiongraphics #deezer #tv #dlive #instagram #stream #motion #twitchstreamer #fightingmentalillness #twitchclips #twitchretweet #twitchaffiliate #twitchshare #ant #scribaland #tiktok #greece #spotify #gelio #games #vimeo #google #motionmate #youtuber #greekquotes #vhs #fullmovies #fullmovie #Music #Video #Funny #Gaming #Viral #Trending #Movie #Trailers #Sports #News #Entertainment #Education #Howto #DIY #Travel #Food #Animals #Cars #Technology #Science #top #acharliebrownthanksgiving #timetraveltv #charliebrown #2000 #a #animated #movie #movies #anime #videogames
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:23The End
00:30Uh, what's the camera for?
00:33That's my voice-activated, motion-sensitive hovering dill camcorder, specially designed to record my brilliant ideas.
00:39Oh, I hope that's what that's for.
00:41I'm sitting in water. I can't use my laptop computer.
00:45Hmm, so that's your story.
00:47Yes, it is.
00:48As an engineer, obviously you know that a bathtub is the least efficient form of bathing.
00:53I'm thinking up ideas.
00:55You're sitting in your own filth.
00:57Some of it's in the water.
00:58It's kind of like rinsing your fruit in the sewer to wash the pesticides off.
01:02Okay, bath is over.
01:09Why don't you invent a product that keeps your skin from wrinkling after a bath?
01:12Kind of a depruner.
01:14Dogbert, that is the vainest, most superficial idea I've ever heard.
01:19I don't want to deprune people.
01:21I want to make the world a better place to live in.
01:24Is this where you thought up your invention that reversed global warming?
01:28Yes.
01:29The bath water helps me think.
01:31And why are you filming yourself?
01:32I told you I can't use the laptop in the bath.
01:35So you're sticking to that story.
01:37Yes, I am.
01:38You know you're sitting in your own filth.
01:41I'm trying to think of an invention to fix that too.
01:44I think it's called the shower.
01:46This fantasy has been a profound disappointment.
02:16For the Èxase, you are living incloud.
02:33Oh, oh, oh.
02:37Oh, oh, oh.
03:04Eww, yuck.
03:05All pedestrians eliminated. Game over.
03:09Can we do some work now? One more game.
03:12I think I can get to the rest home if I blow up the daycare center.
03:14Welcome to Pedestrian Outrage. Remember, I'm the only woman who loves you. Registered user Wally.
03:22He's hooked.
03:26We're on a deadline here. We need to design the company's new flagship product and we need it yesterday.
03:32Yesterday? Then it's already too late. Which means...
03:35Yes! One more game.
03:40Everything's been invented.
03:41No, it hasn't. A time machine.
03:44That's just one example.
03:46All right, let's go with the time machine.
03:51Well, that's it. I'm inured to violence now.
03:59Well, how's the prototype coming?
04:03A rotating cube.
04:05I like it. Can we be first to market?
04:08That's a screensaver.
04:10Save the technical mumbo-jumbo. I just want to know if it'll work.
04:14It'll work, but everyone already has one.
04:16Well, that's no good. What else do you have?
04:18We were tossing around the idea of a time machine.
04:21Well, you'd better get going on that.
04:23I've heard there's a rival engineering department right here in our own organization moving into our turf and developing their
04:29own prototype.
04:30Just out of curiosity, who's running the other department?
04:35Lena.
04:38Lena? You mean there really is a Lena?
04:41I always thought she was just a myth.
04:43She's more than a myth.
04:44She's like the Xena of engineers.
04:47I heard when she was attending Wellesley as a foreign exchange student, there was an incident where she severed a
04:53couple of classmates' heads with a hockey stick.
04:58None of the witnesses ever talked about that day.
05:02If no one talked, how do we all know the story?
05:05I read it on her webpage.
05:06Uh-oh.
05:07I heard a rumor that she steals the ideas of other engineers, then cuts off their heads so they can't
05:13talk.
05:13I like Wally's story better.
05:16Anyway, no shame in being a runner-up.
05:18After all, Albany is beautiful this time of year.
05:21Albany?
05:23Whoever designs the next prototype will need more floor space.
05:26I'll have to relocate the unproductive engineers to our facility in Albany.
05:42Hey, look at this, Alice.
05:44Home liposuction kit.
05:46You could take one of these babies and...
05:49We're doomed.
05:51Lena's team is probably half done with their prototype.
05:53We don't even have an idea.
05:54Lena is totally overrated.
05:56We can beat her.
05:57I don't care if most of the engineers have gone over to her side.
06:00Lena's team is so big you could get lost in the crowd and never have to lift a finger.
06:03They might get the big raises in the party atmosphere,
06:08but they'll never know the satisfaction that comes from really hard work.
06:15You could have worded that better.
06:25Can I help you?
06:26I've got to get to work, and you're blocking me.
06:28Although it might seem that way on the surface,
06:30in reality, it's you that's blocking yourself.
06:32You're right.
06:34How do you know that?
06:35It's what I do.
06:36You're a garbage man.
06:38Exactly.
06:40Well, can you at least move the truck?
06:42It is moving.
06:43It only seems like it's standing still.
06:45By the way, thanks for recycling.
06:50Let's go.
06:51Let's go.
07:01Let's go.
07:06Lena.
07:07Dilbert, I am so very sorry.
07:09You must have been in my blind spot.
07:12I was right in front of you.
07:13Exactly.
07:15You look so pale and sickly.
07:17That's because I can't breathe.
07:22I cannot tell you how excited I am
07:25for the opportunity to work on a prototype
07:27against such a pro like yourself.
07:30Me?
07:30I am a huge fan of your work.
07:33You are?
07:35I only hope I can come up with something half as brilliant as you.
07:40Because I'm sure as hell not going to Albany.
07:43You know, you're slightly more friendly than I imagined.
07:47Really?
07:47You don't say?
07:49I mean, all the gossip about how cutthroat and Machiavellian you are.
07:53Well, you know how people exaggerate.
07:56And the rumors about Fred,
07:57the engineer who mysteriously disappeared
07:59after his project went up against yours?
08:02Yes.
08:03Rumors.
08:04All rumors.
08:05Unless a witness comes forward.
08:13Hmm.
08:15What did you bring for lunch?
08:17Oh, salad.
08:21She touched me.
08:24Hey, Gray, you're finally getting into it.
08:26What'd you come up with?
08:27It's nothing.
08:28Nothing yet.
08:29Still a work in progress.
08:31Give me a few minutes to clean it up.
08:33Look, there's no time for niceties.
08:35We're on a deadline.
08:35Just let me see.
08:37What the heck?
08:38Oh, Lena.
08:39Sweet Lena.
08:40A female divinity.
08:42My passions exceed.
08:44Pi R squared times infinity.
08:47Have you lost your mind?
08:49That is not only the most nauseating thing I've ever read.
08:52It's meaningless if R is undefined.
08:54Poetic license.
08:56Man, she must have blown some smoke up your butt.
08:59Did she use a giant fan or just some kind of hose?
09:02I think you're jealous.
09:03Jealous?
09:04I think I speak for all women capable of reproduction when I say, no.
09:09What's a word that rhymes with gradient?
09:11She is sabotaging us.
09:13Have you ever been to Albany?
09:15Gradient.
09:16Gradient.
09:17Radiant.
09:17I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think we were better off when Wally was here.
09:23We actually need him.
09:26Ugh.
09:33Wally.
09:34Yes?
09:36Wally, it's us.
09:39So it is.
09:41He doesn't recognize us.
09:42Of course he does.
09:43Wally, old pal, we need you to come back to the team.
09:46I am not of your team.
09:47I am of Team Lena.
09:50Praise Lena.
09:51Snap out of it, you half-wit.
09:53Ooh.
09:54Pain.
09:55Lena said there would be pain for those who leave.
09:58I see she was right, but I only left to go to the bathroom.
10:02Lena, I'm coming back!
10:05Wally, it's Dilbert and Alice.
10:07Don't you remember us?
10:08You were from the before time, when I was not of Team Lena.
10:13Praise Lena.
10:15Lena, I return to you.
10:17I swear I will never use the men's room again.
10:23Boy, he's got it bad.
10:25The worst part is, I like him better this way.
10:28Hey, look at that.
10:29She's holding me up as an example to her team.
10:32I told you she respects me.
10:34My people, behold the anti-me.
10:40Victory is not enough.
10:43We must destroy our opponent.
10:45We will not only build a better prototype, we will build it upon the crushed bones and torn flesh of
10:54Dilbert.
11:04Dilbert, how wonderful to see you here.
11:08Alice.
11:09Lena.
11:10We were just passing by.
11:12Look, Billy, I was wondering if you weren't doing anything later.
11:17Maybe we could get together and talk about things.
11:21Oh, uh, sure.
11:24Yeah, my cubicle is...
11:26No, no, no, no, not here at the office.
11:28I was thinking perhaps your place.
11:31Hi.
11:33My, my, my...
11:34Tilbert?
11:35Yes?
11:36Around seven?
11:37Great.
11:37See you tonight.
11:39I got a date.
11:40I got a date.
11:42I got a date.
11:43Woo-hoo, yeah.
11:45Package for you, Alice.
12:00Let's see.
12:01Lena's plate is at positive 0.5 longitude, negative 3 latitude.
12:05My plate is at positive 0.5 longitude, positive 3 point latitude.
12:10Lena's fork is at positive 2.5 longitude, negative 3 latitude.
12:16Lena's fork.
12:20Decapitate Dilbert.
12:21Steel idea.
12:22Two quarts milk.
12:23A box of muesli.
12:31I hate origami.
12:34I have a date.
12:36Boy, that was weird.
12:37I thought you said you had a date.
12:39Want to buy a tape?
12:42I'm kind of busy right now.
12:44Half off.
12:46Two for one.
12:48Supplies are limited.
12:49Goodbye, Dogbert.
12:52Dogbert.
12:53Long time no see.
12:54Dogbert.
12:55Always a pleasure.
12:58Hello, Dilbert.
13:00Oh.
13:01Lena.
13:02Did you have any trouble finding the place?
13:04No.
13:04The global positioning coordinates you gave were perfect.
13:06Will, come in.
13:07Sit down.
13:08Can I get you something to drink?
13:13Yes, I'll have a triple brandy Alexander with an Easter Island Sunset Chaser.
13:18A what?
13:20How are those drinks coming, Gilly?
13:22Any minute now, my Swedish...
13:26Meatball?
13:27Crap.
13:29Crud.
13:30Idiocy.
13:32Garbage.
13:33Nothing.
13:34Where would that imbecile keep his notes?
13:46It's so small, I can't even find it.
13:50That's more than I needed to know.
13:55Why don't you invent a product that keeps your skin from wrinkling after a bath?
13:59Kind of a depruner.
14:00It could work.
14:02It could just work.
14:04You want that...
14:09To go?
14:25Lena!
14:29Holy mother.
14:38Hello?
14:59Oh, my God, Fred, is that you?
15:01Dilbert.
15:02Yes.
15:04Dilbert, this is Joe, Frank, Ed, and Larry.
15:06Hi.
15:06How are you doing?
15:06Hi, Dilbert.
15:07Good to see you again.
15:08Nice to meet you.
15:08Get out while you still can.
15:11Get out?
15:11Yes, get out.
15:13Can't you see?
15:14We're severed heads in a jar.
15:16Well, maybe it didn't work out with you guys, but that doesn't mean it won't work out with me.
15:19She really likes me.
15:21She said she liked me, too.
15:22She said she liked me, too.
15:24That's...
15:31There you are.
15:32What took you so long?
15:34What took you so long?
15:35What took me so long?
15:36What took me so long?
15:43You built this VCR from broken parts?
15:46Of a washing machine.
15:49Oh, it's so small, I can't even find it.
15:53Hey, where'd you get that?
15:55I got it used at a swap meet.
15:57I think you should know this transdermal hydroelastic regenerator is well within the realm of possibility.
16:03You mean the depruner?
16:05Take a look.
16:07Well, what do you know?
16:08By increasing the gaseous conduction analyzer and factoring in the shift of the gyroscopic stabilizer?
16:15Huh.
16:15It's obvious.
16:17In retrospect.
16:18A bona fide cell recycling machine.
16:21Well, I'll be.
16:23Actually, you already are.
16:25I don't know what to say.
16:26I'm not surprised.
16:27Can I have this?
16:28What am I going to do with it?
16:29I'm a garbage man.
16:42Yes, a cell recycling machine.
16:45Pretty darn spiffy.
16:47Team Lena is going down.
16:49Must one person's triumph be another's humiliation?
16:53Of course.
16:57We stand at the dawning of a new age,
17:01where man transcends his mortality and becomes Superman.
17:06Yeah, and I'm Batgirl.
17:08Get on with it.
17:09Shh.
17:10And so, I present to you the eighth wonder of the world, the depruner.
17:2236 hours.
17:2436 hours immersed in water.
17:28I can't feel my legs.
17:30Now, behold.
17:32Whoa.
17:38Oh, boy.
17:50Yo.
17:52Oh.
17:55Oh, boy.
17:59Oh, boy.
18:01Oh, boy.
18:02Oh, boy.
18:14We better rent iron, will you?
18:16Hey, Wally, I got your trunks!
18:19But the best part is what my invention can do for your sex life!
18:26It's so small, I can't even find it.
18:30Oh, yes! Deep pruning is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
18:35Four married couples only, of course.
18:37She's making me think of sex at the same time I see you naked.
18:41Now I've got Dilbert and sex in the same part of my brain!
18:47Ow, ow, ow! Get it out!
18:50You made this happen. You made me think of Dilbert and sex at the same time!
18:55You've ruined sex for me! Forever!
18:59I'm starting to be insulted.
19:01Lena must pay!
19:04You made me think of it!
19:06You made me think of it!
19:20You made me think of it!
19:22Silverly moooo...
19:25Ho!
19:28Ho!
19:29Our special today is an angry horde of rioters who will trample you and your date.
19:34Ooh, I'll have that!
19:47Whoa, forgive me, madam, I had no...
19:49Honey?
19:50Darling, I can explain.
19:54Hey, that's some deal.
19:55Yeah, I'll take two.
20:05It's kind of funny how things turn out.
20:07I haven't lost yet, buddy boy.
20:10I'll cut off your head and send your scrawny girlfriend Alice to Albany.
20:15Girlfriend?
20:16Me?
20:17His?
20:18Have you gone mad?
20:21She's nuts.
20:2275% off.
20:24Last chance before they're pulled from the market, repackaged as a deluxe edition, and then put back on the market.
20:40I've got images in my brain I'll never get out!
20:54I knew I shouldn't have added that option.
21:00Well, better this than Albany.
21:05I wonder how this shows up on our headcount report.
21:08Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.
21:11Oh.
21:25Feeling inadequate?
21:27Not measuring up to the other guys?
21:30Well, you're probably right.
21:32So give me $29.95 and I guarantee you'll feel a lot better.
21:41It's so small.
21:42I can't even find it.
21:44Ugh!
21:45I can't even find it.
21:46I meant soap!
21:47It's so small.
21:48I was talking about soap!
21:49Wasn't it obvious?
21:50I was talking about soap!
21:52Soap!
21:54Soap!
21:55Soap!
21:56Soap!
21:57Soap!
22:22I'll see you next time.
Comments