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00:02Previously on the Big Bang Theory
00:04Sheldon, did you just figure out a method for synthesizing a new, stable, super-heavy element?
00:09Did I?
00:11Why, that can't be right.
00:12No one's ever done that before.
00:14Except me, because I just did it!
00:16Sheldon and his brain!
00:17Yeah!
00:18Sheldon and his brain!
00:19Yeah!
00:20I've made a horrible mistake.
00:22What are you talking about?
00:23This table.
00:24It's in square centimeters.
00:26I read it as square meters.
00:28You know what that means?
00:29That Americans can't handle the metric system?
00:34Amy, I was off by a factor of 10,000.
00:37But the Chinese team found the element.
00:40Yeah, well, they shouldn't have.
00:41My calculations were wrong.
00:42The greatest scientific achievement of my life is based on a blunder.
00:46I'm not a genius.
00:47I'm a fraud.
00:50You know, Sheldon, in neuroscience, we're forever finding something in one part of the brain that we thought was someplace
00:55else.
00:55Oh, great.
00:56Now I'm worse than a fraud.
00:59I'm practically a biologist.
01:03This is Science Friday.
01:04I am Ira Plato.
01:05My guest today is responsible for the discovery of the first stable, super-heavy element.
01:11Welcome, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
01:14The university made me come here.
01:16I didn't want to.
01:19Big fan of the show.
01:22So I understand that you actually discovered this element by mistake.
01:28Yes.
01:30And some people in the science community are calling it the wonder blunder.
01:35Who?
01:36Give me their names.
01:37I bet it's Walowitz.
01:39It's just such a fascinating story.
01:42Your calculations are way off, but they find the element anyway.
01:45It's like misreading a treasure map and still finding the treasure.
01:50Can we talk about something else?
01:52Do you know that I yodel?
01:56That's interesting, but this could be taking you down the path toward a Nobel Prize, and
02:01in chemistry, no less.
02:03And wouldn't that be unusual?
02:04Because you're a physicist.
02:07Yes, yes.
02:07I'd be a physicist with a Nobel in chemistry.
02:09Yeah, everyone laugh at the circus freak.
02:12Yeah, I don't need to sit here and take this Flay-Doh.
02:16It's because of bullies like you.
02:18Every day, more and more Americans are making the switch to television.
02:23Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state that nearly 14 million years ago, expansion
02:29started way around.
02:30The earth began to cool.
02:32The autotrophs began to drool.
02:33The androols developed tools.
02:35We built the wall.
02:35We built the pyramids.
02:36Snap science, history, unraveling the mystery that all started with a big bang.
02:41Hey!
02:48President Siebert, I don't know why you're yelling.
02:51You're the one who made me go on the radio.
02:53I was expecting a professional science interview, not an attack by some morning zoo shock jock.
03:00Well, if the university needs money so badly, perhaps you should start a swear jar.
03:06Whoa!
03:07That one's worth a dollar.
03:11I know you don't like it, but every time you do an interview, it raises the problem.
03:15Profile of the university.
03:16That translates to funding.
03:18Yeah, well, I'm not just some trained monkey dancing for coins.
03:22Of course you're not.
03:23People love trained monkeys.
03:27How can you not be happy?
03:29You're tall, thin, and famous.
03:31Oh, my God.
03:32I'm jealous of Sheldon.
03:35Look, you're going to be doing this stuff for a while.
03:37You're just going to have to find a way to get used to it.
03:39But none of you know what this is like, being celebrated for something you wish you never did.
03:45You clearly haven't been with me at Mardi Gras.
03:51Want to pause the video game and help me clean up?
03:53No cleaning up.
03:54Look at the mess the Joker made of Gotham City.
03:58Come on, it's your friend who's coming to stay here.
04:01Raj grew up in India.
04:02Trust me, he's seen worse.
04:05Howie.
04:06I promise I'll help out the rest of the week.
04:09The rest of the week?
04:10You said it was just going to be a night or two.
04:11If I told you a week, would you have said yes?
04:13No.
04:14Well, then you left me no choice.
04:18I love Raj, but that's a long time for a house guest.
04:21I know, but they're tending his building and can't find a hotel he likes that allows dogs.
04:25He's bringing cinnamon?
04:26For a whole week, the nerve is on people.
04:32Here comes the Embarrassment Express.
04:36It stops at Fraudville.
04:40Wonder Blunderburg.
04:42And Kansas City.
04:45Because it's a hub.
04:48Sheldon, can I come in?
04:50Do you have cookies?
04:51No.
04:52Good, I don't deserve cookies.
04:53Come in.
04:56Will.
04:57Hey, Sheldon.
04:58It's been a while.
04:59Why are you here?
05:00Amy said you were having a rough time, and I thought maybe we could talk.
05:03Is that okay?
05:04Certainly.
05:06Although, right now I'm having a rough time because there's three people in my room,
05:10and it's starting to feel like a discotheque.
05:14Sheldon, you said you were unhappy getting attention for something you wished you never did.
05:19Yeah, I know a little something about that.
05:21Nonsense, Will.
05:22Your endless tweets are not that bad.
05:27I remember why it's been a while.
05:30Sheldon, I was actually talking about when I was a kid on Star Trek.
05:33How could you not like getting attention for playing Wesley Crusher?
05:37You were wonderful.
05:38Know-it-all boy genius with an eidetic memory.
05:42Who couldn't relate to that?
05:45Well, not everybody felt that way.
05:47A lot of people really hated the character, and some of them hated me because of it.
05:51I would do interviews, and people would be mean to me.
05:54That just happened to me.
05:56Next time you're stuck for a tweet, feel free to say what a jerk Ira Flato is.
06:01Sheldon, the point is, Will learned to embrace that part of his life and moved on to bigger and better
06:07things.
06:08Yeah, I'm an author now, I do public speaking, and I have my own web series about board games.
06:12Oh, we're trying to cheer him up.
06:21I'm just saying that there was a time when I thought I would never get out of Wesley Crusher's shadow.
06:25But now, it's just one small part of a pretty great life, and it's a part that I'm happy is
06:30there.
06:32I do see what you're saying.
06:34That helps.
06:35Good.
06:36Would you like to stay and play trains with me?
06:39Sure.
06:39Oh, great.
06:43Now, I work the controls.
06:45I say all aboard.
06:46You sit quietly and watch.
06:50Can I blow the whistle?
06:53You should probably go.
07:02Gonna brush your teeth on my couch?
07:04No, I'm gonna brush Cinnamon's teeth.
07:07Why bother?
07:08She spends half the time licking her butt.
07:12And the other half licking my face.
07:14That's why I'm brushing her teeth.
07:17Hey, guys.
07:18Sorry I'm so late.
07:19Did you already have dinner?
07:20No.
07:21We were waiting for you.
07:22Oh, that's so sweet.
07:23Yeah.
07:24So what do you feel like making?
07:27Howard, the poor thing just got home from work.
07:30Let me get you a glass of wine.
07:32I'll cook dinner.
07:33Oh, Raj, you're our guest.
07:34Don't be silly.
07:35Say it.
07:35You look like you've had a long day.
07:37No, she always looks like that.
07:42Because she married an idiot.
07:47Thank you, Raj.
07:48Please.
07:49This is my way of thanking you for letting me stay here.
07:53Now, tell us all about your day.
07:56Hey, um, well, first I was late to a meeting because I was stuck in traffic.
07:59Well, I keep telling you to put that traffic app on your phone.
08:02Hey, when you got home today complaining that you felt sick from eating too many jelly beans,
08:06did I tell you how to fix it?
08:07No.
08:10I said, oh, that must hurt, and I rubbed your belly.
08:18I thought of you the whole time.
08:22All I'm saying is there's a time to just listen.
08:26There's also a time to stop eating too many jelly beans, and it's when you're 10.
08:33Hello, President Siebert.
08:35Thank you for taking my call.
08:37No, I just wanted you to know that you can now expect enthusiastic participation from me
08:42regarding my discovery.
08:43Oh, no, no, no, no.
08:44No need to thank me.
08:46Thank my friend, Will Wheaton.
08:49For your information, I have nine friends.
08:53Ten, if we include you.
08:56Nine it is.
09:01Eh, it's 10.
09:03I'll count Wallowitz.
09:06Hello, friend Leonard.
09:07Hey, you're in a good mood.
09:09I'm in a great mood.
09:10Well, you're about to be in an even better one.
09:13I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure,
09:14but I've been re-running the test on your element in my lab, and I disproved it.
09:19Your element does not exist.
09:22Yeah, but what about the Chinese research team?
09:24They found it.
09:25Yeah, it turns out someone added simulated signals to the data files.
09:29They faked the results.
09:31Really?
09:32Yes.
09:33Do you know what that means?
09:33That means that all of this attention that you hate goes away.
09:37So no more interviews?
09:38No, it's all over.
09:39I can't believe it.
09:40Well, you're welcome.
09:40You robbed me of my greatest achievement.
09:45What?
09:46I'm back down to nine friends.
09:49Make it eight.
09:50I'm sick of Wallowitz, too.
09:53No, no, no.
09:53I don't understand.
09:54All you've done since you discovered this stupid element was complain I was trying to make you happy.
09:59By taking away my only claim to fame?
10:02Well, if you wanted to make me happy, you could have told me a joke.
10:04Or shown me a cute video of a koala and an otter becoming unlikely friends.
10:10There is no winning with you.
10:13And koalas and otters don't even live near each other.
10:15That's what makes our friendship unlikely.
10:19Hey, what's with all the yelling?
10:21Leonard disproved my element.
10:23Now all the attention is going to go away.
10:25Oh, that's great.
10:26You must be thrilled.
10:27Oh, that's it.
10:28I'm down to seven friends.
10:31He's counting hobbits and superheroes, right?
10:35When I thought the element was real, I didn't want it.
10:37But now that Leonard made it not exist, I want it more than anything in the world.
10:42The element never existed.
10:43I didn't take it away.
10:45Science took it away.
10:45Be mad at science.
10:46Don't you dare use science against me.
10:50Science is my best friend.
10:52Oh, good.
10:52I'm back up to eight.
10:55Will you tell him he's out of his mind?
10:57Actually, I get what he's saying.
10:58Yes!
10:59Nine!
10:59Welcome back, buddy.
11:03It's like if you're dating someone you're not that into, and then they break up with
11:06you, and then you want them more than ever.
11:07I have no idea what she's talking about.
11:09But we're ganging up on you, so I agree.
11:13Okay, Sheldon, what do you want me to do?
11:16Hide the information?
11:17If I don't publish it, it's just a matter of time before someone else does.
11:20But no, no, of course you have to publish.
11:22That's your responsibility as a scientist.
11:24Doing otherwise would be unethical.
11:25You have no choice.
11:27Fine, I'll publish.
11:28Can you believe this guy?
11:36Aw, Raj did the dishes.
11:38How do you know I didn't do them?
11:40Because once when all the knives are dirty, you cut a bagel with your keys.
11:45Good morning, everybody.
11:48I picked up coffee while I was out.
11:50Bernadette, here's your soy peppermint mocha.
11:53Aw, you didn't have to do that.
11:54Aw, my pleasure.
11:55And don't worry about your presentation today.
11:57You're going to be great.
11:58Yeah, you're going to knock it out of the park.
12:00What presentation do I have today?
12:04Just go.
12:09He loves you.
12:11What are you doing?
12:12Are you trying to make me look bad?
12:13I'm just being a good house guest.
12:15No, you're being a better husband than I am.
12:17Doing the dishes, getting coffee, knowing about her life.
12:20Just that.
12:22Come on, I brought you one, too.
12:24I don't want coffee.
12:26That's why I got you hot chocolate.
12:27Give me that.
12:29Just stop showing me up.
12:32Howard, listen to me.
12:33You're a great husband.
12:35Yes, your listening skills could use some work,
12:37but it's amazing how far you've come,
12:40given that you're an only child raised by an overprotective mom.
12:45Is this getting weird?
12:46Hang on.
12:52Oh, yes.
12:57Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I posted my findings.
13:01I saw.
13:02And I just posted a retraction of my paper.
13:05Now the whole scientific community knows I was wrong.
13:08These things happen all the time, Sheldon.
13:11Yeah, not to me.
13:12Now the only other retraction I ever had to issue was when I was seven,
13:15and I conceded that my brother was the greatest ninja in East Texas.
13:21But that was just a ploy to get my face out of his armpit.
13:25There he is!
13:28It's my favorite superhero, the retractor!
13:33Come on, don't give him a hard time.
13:36I'm sorry, Cooper.
13:38I retract it.
13:40By the way, Hofstetter, nice job disproving the Chinese team.
13:45It's not a big deal.
13:46It's a huge deal.
13:48Cooper, maybe physics just isn't your thing.
13:51Have you ever considered a career in retail?
13:53That way you could take things back for a living?
13:58Okay, Barry, that's enough.
13:59No, no, that's okay.
14:00I can fight my own battles.
14:03Isn't that right?
14:04Barry.
14:09Is that a reference to my speech impediment?
14:13That's pretty hurtful.
14:17I can't control it.
14:21You're right.
14:22That was uncalled for.
14:24I take it back.
14:25Of course you do, because you're the retractor!
14:33Raj, this dinner was amazing.
14:35If you're here much longer, I'm going to have to buy bigger clothes.
14:38Nonsense.
14:38You need a little fattening up.
14:40You've been looking too skinny lately.
14:42Aw.
14:43How come you never say anything sweet like that?
14:46What are you talking about?
14:47Remember last week when I asked you if you were wearing Spanx and you weren't?
14:50How's that different?
14:53Maybe you could try being more thoughtful like your friend Raj.
14:56Yeah, well, maybe you could try being more like Raj.
14:59Oh, really?
15:00Yeah, yeah.
15:00He packed me a lunch this morning, and there was a note inside that said, go get him.
15:07Look, I don't do enough around here.
15:08Now I need to pack your lunch.
15:10And by the way, why do you need a note telling you to go get him?
15:12You're a grown man.
15:13You should know to go get him.
15:15I do know to go get him, but sometimes it's nice to have emotional support when I'm going
15:18and getting them.
15:20Hey, hey, do you hear yourselves?
15:23Just, you know, all calm down and take a step back.
15:28This is stupid.
15:28Why are we fighting?
15:29I don't know.
15:30I guess I was just feeling like I'm a lousy husband.
15:34You're not a lousy husband.
15:35You're a great husband.
15:37I was the one feeling like a lousy wife.
15:39Are you kidding?
15:40You're the best.
15:41I know what the problem is.
15:42It's him.
15:45Well, what did I do?
15:47You made us feel like we're not trying hard enough.
15:49Yeah, we were totally fine half-assing our marriage till you showed up.
15:54Look, I'm sorry you're upset with me, but I just have to say it's nice to see the two
15:58of you on the same page.
16:00Does feel good to have you backing me up for once.
16:02I back you up all the time.
16:04That is not...
16:04What's wrong with you?
16:09I can't believe they kicked you out.
16:11Can't believe they're still married.
16:14Oh, no.
16:15I forgot Cinnamon's toothbrush at Howard's.
16:18I guess you're sharing with Daddy again.
16:25Mark once if you need me to call Peter.
16:31What's that animal doing in our apartment?
16:33Oh, for that.
16:34She's in her crate.
16:34She can't get out.
16:35I have two words for you.
16:37Jurassic Park.
16:40This day just keeps getting worse and worse.
16:42You know, if it makes you feel any better...
16:44It probably won't.
16:45You're probably right.
16:47Sheldon, it's a beautiful night.
16:49Why don't you and I go for a nice walk together?
16:52Everything is just sex with you, isn't it?
16:56Sheldon, I think you might find the support you're looking for if you realize that relationships
17:01are a give-and-take.
17:02She can only be there for you as much as you are for her.
17:06Thank you, Rajesh.
17:07And Amy, you need to be patient with Sheldon instead of pressuring him to accept intimacy
17:12on your terms.
17:15You should probably go.
17:22I'm Ira Flato, and this is Science Friday.
17:24I'd like to welcome back Dr. Sheldon Cooper, who thought he had discovered a new super-heavy
17:29element, only to have it disproved by my next guest, Dr. Leonard Hausdatter.
17:34Welcome to Science Friday, gentlemen.
17:35Thanks.
17:37Ira, if I may, I'd like to apologize for my behavior last week.
17:41It's all right.
17:42Now, isn't there something you'd like to say to me?
17:48No.
17:50Now, Dr. Haftatter, can you walk us through the process you used to disprove his theory?
17:55Well...
17:55Yeah, I believe I can answer that.
17:57He asked me.
17:59Fine.
18:01As I was saying.
18:02You're telling it wrong.
18:03Ira, if you really understand the story here, you have to start at the very beginning.
18:07A small town in East Texas, where a young genius named...
18:10That's right, Sheldon Cooper.
18:12He was bitten by his neighbor's dog, leading to his first scientific breakthrough, the doggy
18:18death ray.
18:20Which, sadly, he couldn't build, because Santa wouldn't bring him enriched uranium.
18:25You know, I'd really like to hear it from Dr. Haftatter, if it's okay with you.
18:29What a surprise.
18:30Wait, did you invite me back just so you could ignore me?
18:33Actually, I didn't invite you.
18:35You came in, you took a seat, and I'm not comfortable with confrontation.
18:41Sheldon, this interview is supposed to be about me.
18:44Well, that seems like a snooze.
18:45Even for public radio.
18:49You know, if we did a shot every time they said something embarrassing, this would be one
18:52hell of a drinking game.
18:54A little early for alcohol, isn't it?
18:55You know, I don't just say smart things about science.
18:58I also yodel.
19:05I'll get the vodka.
19:06I'll get the vodka.
19:37I'll get the vodka.
19:39You
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