00:02You feel like trying something new for dinner? Maybe Indian? Tex-Mex?
00:06You ever wonder how humans would be different if they evolved from lizards instead of mammals?
00:14Okay, let's talk about that.
00:17As you know, lizards, cold-blooded animals, lack the ability to sense temperature.
00:22But they do move more sluggishly when it's cold.
00:25So lizard weathermen would say things like,
00:27Bring a sweater. It's slow outside.
00:32I love my mind.
00:35We all do. Now, how about dinner?
00:38Oh, I would assume we'd enjoy insects or smaller lizards.
00:42We could also pull each other's tails off and grill them. They'll just grow back.
00:49Oh, my life-size cardboard Mr. Spock is here.
00:54I know he wouldn't care for an outburst of human emotion, but oh goody, oh goody, oh goody.
01:02Commander Spock requesting permission to be unfolded.
01:06Excuse me.
01:07Permission granted, Commander.
01:11Which is why the more intelligent the monkey, the more feces they fling.
01:18Excuse me, Amy.
01:19Penny, do you have plans for dinner tonight?
01:21Why? You guys going somewhere?
01:22No, I mean just you and me.
01:25You mean like a date?
01:26Not like a date. A date.
01:28Ooh.
01:33Um.
01:35Oh, okay. Sure.
01:38Ooh.
01:40Oh, no. They sent the wrong Spock.
01:47Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto.
01:50I know the universe was in a hot, dense state
01:54Then nearly 14 million years ago
01:56Expansions started way around
01:58The years began to cool
01:59The autotrophs began to drool
02:00Neanderthals developed tools
02:02We built the walls
02:02We built the pyramids
02:03Smart sites
02:04History unraveling
02:06The mystery that all started with a big bang
02:08Hey!
02:14This is so exciting.
02:15If Leonard and Penny get back together
02:17Howard and I can go on double dates with them.
02:20How come you never invite Sheldon and me on a double date?
02:26How's it going in there, Penny?
02:28Just a sec.
02:31Too much?
02:34Yes.
02:35No.
02:38Okay, just hang on.
02:40You just can't handle her raw sexuality, can you?
02:45When did you and Leonard break up?
02:47Uh, about two years ago.
02:49Why do you think he asked you out again?
02:51I don't know.
02:52Maybe he's dying.
02:52That would be so romantic.
02:55He's not dying.
02:57Too bad.
02:59If he were, she could just throw him in bed
03:01And ride him right up until he flatlines.
03:07How about this?
03:10Maybe.
03:10Come on.
03:13Yeah, okay, no.
03:15Do you think you'll sleep with him tonight?
03:17Absolutely not.
03:18Look, we're just gonna have dinner and, you know, see how it goes.
03:21If he were dying, would you sleep with him?
03:24What?
03:25Assuming he were dying of something that couldn't be sexually transmitted.
03:29You know, like a spear wound to the head.
03:32Okay, he is not dying.
03:34How do you know?
03:35Are you a doctor?
03:37You can make believe, though.
03:39Sometimes Howard and I pretend that his arrhythmia is acting up and I'm a sexy cardiologist.
03:44And the naughty part is I'm not in his HMO network.
03:51Screw it, I'm not gonna make a big deal out of this.
03:53It's just dinner.
03:55With a dead man.
03:59Amy, stop it.
04:00Oh God, I'm so nervous.
04:02Relax, you know Leonard's always been crazy about you.
04:04It's gonna be great.
04:05I know, but we've finally gotten to a place where we can hang out without it being weird.
04:08And if something goes wrong, then what?
04:10Guess it'll just be Sheldon and me going on a double date with Howard and Bernadette.
04:16Sure, we'd love that.
04:19Change of clothes, we got a lot riding on this.
04:28I want to build a road, but I need wood.
04:34Do either of you fellas have wood?
04:42I don't understand the laughter.
04:45The object of settlers of Catan is to build roads and settlements.
04:49To do so requires wood.
04:50Now I have sheep.
04:51I need wood.
04:55Who has wood for my sheep?
05:01Okay.
05:02How do I look?
05:03More to the point, why are you doing this?
05:05What are you talking about?
05:06Did you forget what Penny did to you?
05:08It took you two years and defiling my sister to turn that frown upside down.
05:12I didn't defile your sister. We had a relationship.
05:16I heard you call her brown sugar.
05:19In my book, that's defilement.
05:21You want to know my opinion?
05:23Oh boy, do I?
05:27Sarcasm?
05:28No.
05:31All right then.
05:32The reason you're fixated on a good-natured simpleton like Penny is that she's the exact opposite of your first
05:39romantic attachment.
05:40Your brilliant yet intimidating mother.
05:43Where on earth did you get that from?
05:45It's in her book, Needy Baby Greedy Baby.
05:50That doesn't make it true.
05:52It's called non-fiction for a reason, Leonard.
05:55See you later.
05:58If they ever make a movie version of that book, you know who should play Leonard's mother?
06:02Sandra Bullock.
06:04Why?
06:06Because she's great in everything.
06:12Now, where were we?
06:13Oh, yes. Does anyone have any wood?
06:16Oh, come on.
06:18I just want wood.
06:20Why are you making it so hard?
06:30So, do they have a name for a first date with someone you used to go out with?
06:34Oh, that's a good question. How about awkward?
06:39Yeah, that sounds right.
06:42Hey, how about if we pretend we're actually on a first date? See how that goes.
06:47Okay.
06:50So, Polly, tell me about yourself.
06:53It's Penny.
06:54Oh, sorry. Awkward.
06:58Okay, let's see. I'm from Nebraska.
07:01And ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of moving to L.A. and becoming a movie star.
07:06Anyway, after four years of acting lessons and waiting tables, I've done a hemorrhoid commercial and a production of Anne
07:12Frank above a bowling alley.
07:15So, you know, dreams do come true.
07:18Your turn.
07:20Uh, let's see.
07:21I am an experimental physicist at Caltech.
07:24Most of my research is with high-powered lasers.
07:27Oh, I've just gotten a big government grant to see if they can be used to knock out incoming ballistic
07:32missiles.
07:33Wow. Can they?
07:34Oh, God, no.
07:39The money's pretty good.
07:42And I used the equipment to make my own bat signal.
07:46Bat signal? What are you, some kind of nerd?
07:50Not some kind of nerd. I am the king of nerds.
07:57What does that mean?
07:58Uh, it means if anyone displeases me, I don't help them set up their printer.
08:05You are so funny.
08:07Good. Remember that when I take my shirt off.
08:12Leonard, this is nice. I'm so glad we did this.
08:14Me too.
08:17So, what do you think? Are we gonna get back together?
08:21Whoa, not so fast.
08:23I'm sorry, what did I say?
08:25Leonard, you know I will always have feelings for you.
08:28Oh, God.
08:28What?
08:29You said always, you'll always have feelings for me.
08:32So?
08:33So, that sounds more like something you'd say if you didn't want a relationship with someone.
08:37This isn't working out, but I'll always have feelings for you.
08:40I'm sorry I slept with your best friend, but I'll always have feelings for you.
08:45Here's the thing, Lisa, I'm into dudes now, but I'll always have feelings for you.
08:50How would you say it?
08:51I have feelings for you.
08:53It's the same thing.
08:54No, it's not. Always made it worse.
08:56You're overthinking this.
08:57No, I'm not.
08:57Yes, you are. You always overthink this.
08:58There you go. Always made it worse.
09:03See? This is where everything goes wrong. When we talk.
09:06Well, I don't know how you have a relationship without talking.
09:10Hey, I went out with this guy, TJ, for eight months. We never talked.
09:12To this day, I don't even know what TJ stands for.
09:16Wait, if you guys didn't talk, well, you'd never mind, stupid question.
09:23And now that I have some wood, I'm going to begin the erection of my settlement.
09:32He's got to be doing this on purpose.
09:37Ooh, 8.30. You and Penny decide to go out and paint the town beige.
09:43You're 30 years old and you live with your mother.
09:48I guess it didn't go well.
09:49We don't know that. Not to a certainty. All we know is that Leonard is home.
09:59How about now?
10:01Again, not enough evidence. For all we know, he's being murdered.
10:07Now, back to our game.
10:10You were in the middle of an erection?
10:16Oh, of course. It's right here in my hand.
10:32What does she want from me now?
10:39What's up?
10:40Do not overthink this.
10:49I don't understand.
10:53Okay, but earlier it seemed like...
10:55No talking.
10:58Even during, because sometimes I have questions.
11:09Well, that was fun.
11:12Yeah, except for when I got the foot cramp.
11:15You hung in there, though.
11:16It was a lot at stake.
11:20So what do you want to do now?
11:22Well, I want to go get my asthma inhaler, but it might ruin the moment.
11:29Just help me out here.
11:31How does a miserable date end in sex?
11:34I don't know. It's complicated.
11:36Well, I'm a pretty smart guy.
11:38Right now, my brain has dibs on the blood supply, so give it a go.
11:43Okay, it's just...
11:45At the restaurant, when you said you wanted us to be together again, it got very real, very fast, and
11:50I panicked.
11:52Why?
11:54What are you afraid of?
11:55Well, what if we do go out and I do something stupid and dump you again?
11:59What if I dump you?
12:05Come on, be serious.
12:08Well, how about if we don't think about this as a relationship?
12:12It could be more like a new version of software.
12:14Penny and Leonard 2.0.
12:16We can test it internally, shake out the bugs, and if we both feel it's solid, then we'll roll it
12:21out to the public.
12:24So we don't tell people we're back together?
12:26Exactly. We pretend like our date went badly.
12:29Well, we don't really have to pretend.
12:31And we let them think that we decided to just be friends and that everything's cool.
12:36Okay, great.
12:38Hey, I just remembered.
12:40I still got one of your inhalers.
12:45I can't believe you kept this.
12:47Yeah, I was gonna throw it away, but I just couldn't.
12:50That is so sweet.
12:56In 25 to 30 minutes, I'm gonna show you how much this means to me.
13:11Leonard?
13:12Yeah, hi. Hi.
13:15How's it going?
13:17Uh, can't complain. Thanks for asking.
13:22What were you doing out at 3 o'clock in the morning?
13:25Well, uh, what are you doing up?
13:28I was using the bathroom.
13:31Yeah, well, so was I.
13:35Really?
13:36I didn't see you in there.
13:41Obviously.
13:43When I saw that you were in ours, I went and used another one.
13:49Where?
13:52The gas station across the street.
13:55In your pajamas?
13:57Yes.
14:00Without shoes?
14:03Yes.
14:05On a cold winter's night?
14:10Yes.
14:15That seems unlikely.
14:17Did you bring your asthma inhaler?
14:19Uh, uh, uh, yes I did.
14:25Well, then I guess it's plausible.
14:29Yeah, hang on a second, mister.
14:31What?
14:33After you used the facilities at the gas station, did you make a purchase?
14:38What?
14:39It's customary when using the restroom at a retail establishment to make a small purchase.
14:45Did you?
14:47No.
14:49Here's two dollars.
14:54Go buy some beef jerky.
15:02I don't want beef jerky.
15:07I don't want beef jerky.
15:25I don't want beef jerky indeed.
15:29Leonard will be here in a moment.
15:30He's looking for a different parking space.
15:32Why?
15:33We were next to a car with an Ask Me About My Grandchildren bumper sticker.
15:38And I was afraid if we ran into them on the way out, I'd be obligated to do so.
15:44So disappointed it didn't work with him and Penny.
15:47Me too.
15:49Out of deference to them, let's not flaunt our happy relationship.
15:53You have a keen insight into the human heart, Amy Farrah Fowler.
15:59We are next to a Subaru with a Gore Lieberman bumper sticker.
16:02Well, I doubt they'd want to talk about that, so we're fine.
16:07I'm surprised to see you here after it went so badly with Penny.
16:10Well, hey, we're grown-ups. We can still be friends.
16:14Boy, I don't know if I could be friends with Howie if we broke up.
16:17Why not?
16:18I'm a very vengeful person.
16:22Really?
16:23With access to weaponized smallpox.
16:27Here you go, guys. Let me get you going with some water.
16:30You need menus or you know what you want?
16:31Leonard knows what he wants, but it looks like he's not going to get it from you.
16:36Hello, Barry.
16:37No, that's okay, Bernadette.
16:38Sometimes these things just don't work out.
16:40Yeah, it's all good.
16:42We'll always have feelings for each other.
16:47Oh, that's nice.
16:49See, she knew what it always meant.
16:52Wow, you're like a dog with a bone, aren't you?
16:55I'm just making a point.
16:56It's the point that you don't know when to let something go.
16:59People, people, please.
17:01Before you say something you both regret, I'd like to place my order.
17:07Hang on, Sheldon. You know why we can't be together?
17:09Because you always have to be right.
17:10That is not true.
17:12I gotta go with Leonard on this. He is wrong more than anyone I know.
17:16You know what? I just realized I'm on a break. I'll get someone else.
17:21Leonard, promise me that when our new waitress comes over, you will not start a complicated, on-again, off-again
17:26relationship with her, because I'm very, very hungry.
17:41Unbelievable.
17:46Mind explaining to me why you were being such a jerk at the restaurant?
17:49I was trying to act like we weren't seeing each other. That was the plan, right?
17:52No, the plan was to tell people we decided to stay friends, but that's a little hard to do when
17:56you're always being such a tool bag.
17:59You know what? I don't have to stand here and take this crap.
18:02The hell do you think you're going?
18:03Isn't sex after fighting kind of what we do now?
18:08Yeah, I kinda am.
18:17What are we doing?
18:18What do you mean?
18:20Every scenario I play out for you and me ends badly.
18:24It's because you overthink everything.
18:26Leonard, are you listening to me?
18:28What? Yeah.
18:29This is a disaster.
18:31I distinctly ordered the Leonard Nimoy Mr. Spot cardboard standee.
18:35Why would I feel safer with Zachary Quinto at the foot of my bed?
18:40I don't know. He was pretty badass on Heroes.
18:45You're right. I'll give him a shot.
18:49Hang on.
18:51Penny, do you have plans for dinner?
18:52Why?
18:53Are you guys going somewhere?
18:54No, I mean just you and me.
18:59Have you thought this through?
19:02Yes, and I think we should go anyway.
19:07No, can't do it. Sorry Quinto, you're going back.
19:16If you and Leonard get back together, Sheldon and I will finally have someone to go on double dates with.
19:21What about me and Howard?
19:23Fine, we can double with you too.
19:25So insecure.
19:28Where are you guys going to eat?
19:32Penny?
19:34Do you, Penny, take Leonard to be your lawful wedded husband?
19:47Well, it's a little late for me to start saying no, isn't it?
19:52Penny.
19:54Sorry.
19:55Just remembered I've got to stop by the drugstore.
20:09.
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