00:03so what are you working on these days i'm studying one-celled organisms to try and
00:08find the neurochemicals that lead to the feeling of shame what would a one-celled organism have
00:12to be embarrassed about same as all of us getting out of a car without underwear
00:18speaking of underwear i have some interesting news okay if it's sometimes how he wears yours
00:23leonard already told us he was being funny i'm pretty sure anyway i was asked to be a part of
00:35a magazine article about the 50 sexiest female scientists in california isn't that cool i think
00:40it's awful why would you say that bernadette is a successful microbiologist she should be celebrated
00:47for her achievements not her looks i mean what kind of message does that send i think the messages
00:51check out the rack on that scientist why can't someone be thought of as both smart and pretty
00:59i just don't think a professional woman should have to flaunt her sexuality in order to get ahead
01:04okay what's the big deal look if it helps you make a sale with a physician i don't
01:08think it hurts to flirt a little i mean laugh at their joke touch their arm maybe
01:12crank up the ac in the car beforehand you know to wake up the girls
01:18maybe it's different in the world of sales but it's already hard enough for women to be taken
01:22seriously in science i was kind of excited about the article but now you're making me feel bad
01:27now i think you should do whatever you want you know maybe if fashion magazines had female
01:32scientists in them i would have become a theoretical physicist
01:37stop smirking at each other
01:40our whole universe was in a hot dense state that nearly 14 million years ago expansion started way
01:48around the earth began to cool the autotrophs began to drew me and with all developed tools we built a
01:53wall
01:53we built the pyramids mad science history unraveling the mystery that all started with a big bang
02:14hey
02:14thank you oh no thank you delivery men are the unsung foot soldiers of our nation's commerce
02:22it's because of people like you people like me can limit our human contact
02:28i'd shake your hand but well you know i'm not a delivery man i'm a doctor although i do often
02:36deliver
02:37alarming biopsy results to my patients
02:42that's humorous
02:45all right
02:48yeah i bet you leave your patients in stitches
02:55that was also humorous
02:58all right
03:02are you bringing flowers to a patient to cushion the blow of a terminal diagnosis
03:13that wasn't a joke
03:15all right
03:19these are actually for a nice woman who makes sales calls to my office
03:24you know they have delivery people that will do that for you
03:28i was hoping to impress her by tracking her down on the internet and then showing up unannounced at her
03:34door
03:37making the extra effort good for you
03:49great timing food just got here oh siam palace yes uh meat crobb and chicken satay yes but extra
03:56peanut sauce no but you can have mine
03:58very well oh and on the topic of sharing things that are yours
04:04there is a gentleman caller bringing flowers to your fiance as we speak
04:11why didn't you say that first
04:14why didn't you get extra peanut sauce
04:17you can both play this game can i help you
04:21oh hi uh does penny live here may i ask why
04:26well uh i i met her at my office she winked at me
04:32i i came hoping to initiate a romantic relationship
04:40um look i'm pretty sure she didn't wink at you oh she did
04:47seductively like this
04:52and then she touched my arm for two mississippis like you know one mississippi two
04:57i got it
05:00listen um i think there's been a misunderstanding
05:05penny is my fiancee really
05:20so am i to presume that her flirtation was just a sales technique
05:25i think so when will i learn it's just like the cute girl at the pet store all over again
05:34excuse me
05:36oh uh she touched my arm for five mississippis and i bought a two thousand dollar iguana habitat
05:44which she was always too busy to come over and see
05:50you give these to penny
05:53you're a lucky man
05:56thank you sorry oh you probably don't want her to see this it's unnecessarily graphic
06:07hold on doctor leonard where are your social skills
06:11this man is clearly upset we should invite him in for a hot beverage
06:18he tried to score with penny so have these two and they're having dinner with us
06:29so how was work today it was fine but you'll be happy to know they pulled the sexy scientist article
06:36what happened i don't know they just canceled the photo shoot and said they're rethinking it
06:42i'm really sorry but i think it's for the best you want people focusing on your achievements not
06:48staring at your breasts in some magazine i guess it's really not that important hey up here
06:58sorry we're just talking about them
07:04so look i wasn't going to say anything but since you seem to be okay with the article being
07:08canceled i have a little confession i'm the reason it was pulled what how i sent the editors of the
07:16magazine a pretty scathing email amy what did you say i simply pointed out that they would never
07:22consider doing an article ranking male scientists on their sexuality let alone showing them in
07:26various stages of undress because no one wants to see meal degrasse tyson in a wet t-shirt bent over
07:32the hood of a porsche it doesn't make a difference because they agreed it was in bad taste and
07:40now you agree so amy saves day no what happened was you got jealous so you took away a chance
07:48for
07:48me to get some publicity but it was bad publicity that's for me to decide not you i disagree as
07:56a
07:56female scientist i think what you do affects all of us and i think you don't like people expressing
08:01their sexuality because no one wants you to express yours oh amy i'm so sorry that was over the line
08:10you have a nice night please don't go up until my vicious attack you were the one in the wrong
08:19here you go doctor red zinger with one teaspoon of honey thank you neat star trek mug i actually have
08:28one of the phasers from the original tv show cool how do you get that oh easy gene roddenberry needed
08:35a
08:35vasectomy wait a minute you've snipped gene roddenberry's vas deferens
08:44wow you really went where no man has gone before
08:50i don't like to brag but uh you see i'm kind of the doctor to the star's urinary tract
08:59wow wow you you want to see james cameron's kidney stone
09:13he was so happy after he passed it he gave me a terminator
09:17that is amazing how long have you been collecting well ever since i was a kid but
09:22uh i didn't really get serious until william shatner's bladder infection
09:28what'd you get what'd you get what'd you get well he said it was a triple it could be a
09:32toupee but
09:33either way it's pretty cool
09:36i would love to see your collection anytime i've got some cool stuff when i first started i
09:43thought it'd be a good way to meet women but well you know
09:48we have reach
09:51did i ask you a personal question sure um i mean you're a guy like me
10:00so how'd you get a girl like penny oh well you know just me and myself really
10:09oh please you know i'll tell you how he did it implacable relentless badgering
10:17in urology terms he was a drug resistant staph infection and she was a urethra that could not shake him
10:27i don't know that i'd call myself an infection
10:30a gallant man would defend his fiancee for being called a urethra
10:36will you please change the subject hi well that didn't go your way
10:44dr lorvis what are you doing here well actually i came to see you really why that's a good question
10:54apparently someone was being awfully flirty while not wearing their engagement ring causing another
10:59someone to show up here thinking the first someone might be available oh god don't make it so hard
11:03on her look the first someone is the deceitful you the second someone is the delightful dr lorvis
11:11oh this is very embarrassing uh dr lorvis i am so sorry i did not mean to lead you on
11:17you touched my arm for two mississippis that's why you were mumbling mississippi
11:26can we talk in private please yes let me right back
11:32so what other celebrity genitalia have you handled
11:37so what's the deal you take off your ring when you go to work
11:40what no no i just put it on the other hand and turn it around keep that hand in my
11:47pocket
11:50why what do you mean why look i make more sales if these doctors think i'm single i did the
11:54same
11:54kind of thing as a waitress the real question is what is he doing in your apartment uh he was
11:59upset
11:59so sheldon invited him in for a hot beverage you were okay with that no i got upset
12:06sheldon made me a beverage too okay he just showed up at my door don't you think that's a
12:11little weird a little but he's basically harmless he's actually kind of a nice guy okay whatever look
12:17my company does not allow me to socialize with doctors outside of work you've got to get rid of
12:21him why am i the one that has to get rid of him i can't do it he's my best
12:24client all right i'll get
12:27rid of him but you owe me one hey we're going to oliver's house to see his collection you want
12:32to go with
12:33us yeah sure you owe me
12:48oh my god
12:52leonard i was wrong heaven does exist and it's in the basement of a urologist house in sherman oaks
13:02welcome to my fortress of solitude this is where i go to get away from all my other solitude
13:13come on it's a replica original oh i think i just cheated on my wife
13:22the gun from hell boy yep how did you get it bought it at auction oh i was hoping for
13:29a juicy
13:29tidbit about ron perlman's testicles
13:34oliver i'm gonna play bingo okay mother have fun still lives with his mom yikes right
13:43yeah i'm not quite sure how to respond
13:48wow donkey kong this this was my game when i was a kid
13:52because it's a story of a pretty blonde girl tirelessly pursued by a small oddly shaped man
14:01no because i liked it now don't get defensive you're oddly shaped but you got the girl
14:10so i've noticed leonard gets teased a lot about his relationship with penny
14:14yes if you'd like to join in the premise is their love seems unlikely and doomed to failure
14:21so you think she'll be single soon oh if you want to get in on the pool you're too late
14:27all the squares have been purchased
14:31interesting excuse me i have to take care of something
14:45leonard is your friend i feel i should tell you something what i'm still upset about that peanut sauce
14:55could you hold the door nice flowers thank you they're for a girl i'm being implacable and relentless
15:04isn't she lucky
15:08she keeps sending me mixed signals but i think we both want the same thing what's that unconditional love
15:16i guess that's all anybody wants i guess so well i hope you get it one mississippi two mississippi
15:33next game let's switch helmets no i'd look silly in that helmet
15:43i can't take these well why not i mean you want what i want we had two wonderful mississippis
15:53but what about the other girl oh right yeah uh i'll tell her we should just be friends
16:05dr lorvis penny we should just be friends
16:12happy
16:23you think you think he bites stick your hand in there and find out
16:29you fool me with that goat at the petting zoo you will not fool me again
16:32i wonder where dr lorvis is he's been gone a while maybe he's playing bingo with his mommy
16:42sad how some guys can't cut the apron strings
16:47okay now you're messing with me
16:51uh guys we're locked in here oh this day just keeps getting better
17:00so you just left them alone playing games in your house well they seemed happy and
17:06i thought that would give me time for you and i to get to know each other better
17:12that was before we met
17:17we all have a past
17:20doc you gotta see what you're doing is is a little creepy you sound just like sigourney weaver
17:25when i followed her into a restroom
17:29okay you can't just go chasing after every girl who's nice to you
17:32well that's not what sheldon says and he seems to know his way around the ladies
17:42hey leonard uh guess who's back dr lorvis yeah you care to join us what you locked them in your
17:49basement
17:51well they're they're not locked in the door just sticks okay so how do they unstick it
17:57they'd need the key
18:02okay nope that's it we are going to go over there right now and you are going to let them
18:07out
18:09three mississippi
18:10move it
18:16oh good you're here hey amy i am so sorry that has to wait this weirdo locked the guys up
18:22in
18:22his basement what you can do this watch one letter left
18:39leonard are you okay better than okay i'm in the game of my life
18:45dr lorvis isn't there something you want to say yes i'm very sorry for locking you in my home
18:51yeah that was very uncool get the hammer get the hammer got it
18:57okay leonard let's go just hang on
19:01while we wait would you like to see toby mcguire's prostate sonogram
19:07sure oh spoiler alert he was worried about nothing
19:26so
19:27it's
19:28it's
19:31it's
19:46it's
19:48it's
Comments