00:03yeah it's amazing people keep coming to comic book stores instead of just downloading comics
00:07digitally it's probably for the best for a lot of these guys the weekly trip here is the only
00:13chance their mom has to go down to the basement and change their sheets oh that reminds me i get
00:19fresh sheets tonight yay well what do you think a new comic book night magic huh sheldon i'm
00:29disappointed as a brilliant man you're entitled to advice i could understand frequenting an opium
00:34den or hunting your fellow man for sport but this lame-o a comic books employ storytelling through
00:44sequential art a medium that dates back 17,000 years to the cave paintings of lasco and b you play
00:51the harp like that's cool can i help you find anything a comic that depicts a woman who's
00:59bosom can't be used as a flotation device sorry most of the guys who come in here like big boobs
01:06a couple of them have big boobs
01:10the new wallards of car uh expansion pack is out a new one unbelievable they just keep making up
01:16more cheesy monsters slapping them on cards and selling them at 25 bucks a pop it's like a secret
01:21tax on guys who can't get laid they're not even trying remember the sit animals back with the
01:28elephant why absurd oh was he a bad elephant who died and went to hell what could an elephant possibly
01:34do that would cause him eternal damnation wild west and witches what kind of loser cares about a
01:40showdown between billy the kid and the white wizard of the north a total loser obviously a guy with a
01:48six shooter beats an old man with a magic wand oh hold on uh what if the wizard casts a
01:56helmet of
01:56confusion spell on billy the kid's cowboy hat but please this is billy the kid we're talking about
02:03the wizard would get shot between the eyes before he could ever get out the words what the hell is
02:06billy
02:06the kid doing in the mystic realm of cut uh runner what's the deal with sheldon's friend amy are they
02:14a couple a couple of weirdos why are you interested in amy well i mean she didn't look through me
02:21with
02:22soul-sucking ball shriveling hatred and contempt i like that in a woman could you run it by sheldon if
02:30i could ask her out sure i guess stewart settle an argument for us who would win billy the kid
02:36or
02:37the white wizard if i tell you that i'm robbing you of the hours of fun you could have for
02:43the
02:43magical rootin tootin low price of 24.95 i'll take one um make it two i hate all of you
02:53and myself
02:54three bring it up like shooting nerds in a barrel our whole universe was in a hot dance state that
03:05nearly 14 million years ago expansion started way the earth began to cool the autotrophs began to
03:11drew me and recalls developed tools we built a wall we built the pyramids map science history
03:15unraveling the mystery that all started with the big bang hey can i talk to you about something
03:26it's a little awkward i know what this is about given the professional standstill you're at you're
03:34wondering if this is the appropriate time to abandon your research and focus on teaching
03:45yes and if i may suggest consider changing disciplines yeah to the humanities perhaps
03:50history one of the advantages of teaching history is that you don't have to create things you know
03:56you just have to remember stuff that happened and then parrot it back you can have fun with that
04:04yeah that's not it stewart's kind of interested in amy oh of course he is she's very interesting
04:11did you know when she was 14 she severed the webbing between her own toes
04:19no he wanted me to find out if you'd have a problem with him asking her out
04:26i'm not sure how to respond leonard i don't own amy you can't own a person at least not since
04:431863 when president lincoln freed the
04:49slaves come on leonard if you're going to teach history these are the kind of facts you'll have to
04:52know you know what never mind i'm gonna tell him it's okay to ask her out the question is moot
04:58there
04:59is no way that stewart an impoverished peddler of picture books would be at all appealing to amy
05:04farrah fowler a noted neurobiologist capable of performing surgery on her own feet with nothing
05:10but nitrous oxide from cans of whipped cream is anesthesia all right but for the record i checked
05:18in with you to see how you'd feel about it fine the record shall so reflect now getting back to
05:23the
05:23problem at hand what to do with a washed up experimental physicist
05:30i am not washed up oh leonard lots of people love you and want to help you but they can't
05:38until
05:38you admit the problem well ladies we killed the bottle i had half a glass i didn't have any okay
05:48don't
05:49judge me so what do you want to do go to the movies go dancing lay down for a little
05:55bit
05:58or we play travel twister you mean really twister excuse me i've passed many an enjoyable evening
06:07playing this game and i'm sure it's a lot more exciting when you play with other people
06:12what do you say bestie we can do shirts and skins i'm sure it's called it
06:19i'm too small for twister and roller coasters and sitting with my feet on the floor
06:26hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes mom
06:32hey you know my mom smoked pot when she was pregnant with me and i turned out just
06:35fine hey look i have peach schnapps thank god guys something happened what's wrong i think a boy likes
06:44me hi it's stewart we met at the comic book store i was wondering if you'd like to get coffee
06:51sometime
06:51it's okay if you say no it might be the kick in the pants i need to start taking zoloft
06:59amy little vixen just working it under all those layers of wool and polyester
07:05what are you gonna do doesn't he know you have a boyfriend oh she doesn't have a boyfriend she
07:09has a sheldon so do you like stewart i don't know he's nice he's funny he has the sallow drawn
07:18countenance associated with an overactive thyroid gland that's kind of hot okay look sweetie we all
07:24love sheldon but you've been with him over a year now if it's not going anywhere what does it hurt
07:28to look around yeah i guess they're not engaged like me and howie yeah for what it's worth engaged
07:33people can look around too a lot of options out there
07:50who are you i'm dale you left me in charge
07:58really yeah i don't get it either
08:04i want to return this wild west and witches kaa expansion pack sorry i don't do returns they're hard
08:13sure sure
08:16uh when will stewart be back i don't know he went out for coffee with a girl
08:23no i guess i was wrong you okay am i okay leonard i'm on a lifelong trajectory that includes a
08:33nobel
08:33prize in cities named after me all four wisdom teeth fit comfortably in my mouth without need
08:38of extraction and my bowel movements run like a german train schedule am i okay i'm okay too
08:56wild bill
08:57wild bill witchcock
09:00a tribe of abracomanchis
09:08flaming spittoon and for the record i'm very disappointed in you cowpokes we're playing our
09:15inaugural round of wild west and witches i'm the only one who bothered to dress for the occasion
09:21patooey
09:23i'm not wearing cowboy hats sheldon it looks ridiculous and i suppose my boots and spurs are
09:29ridiculous too
09:31incredibly so
09:33did it look ridiculous when we got the satanimals pack and i dressed up as a bl's a bobcat
09:40it's great to be so
09:41all right fine let's just play we should go easy on him amy's out with stewart tonight wait a minute
09:49are you telling me that sheldon's patented blend of condescension and no sex isn't enough to hold on
09:56to a woman
10:01cluck cluck cluck were we ladies at a quilting bee or are we men playing a fantasy card game set
10:06in a
10:06magical frontier town
10:11sorry creepy teepee
10:16annie ogaly
10:20hocus pocus pocahontas
10:22and may i point out it is the three of you who are obsessed with stewart and amy not me
10:28i think
10:28you need to ask yourselves who's really being ridiculous here
10:39it's you
10:43hey guys check it out the deluxe limited edition wild west and which is expansion pack
10:48in the signed and numbered collector's stint
10:50oh no we just bought the regular pack
10:54oh assurance badge
10:57yeah it's also a wand
11:01with a hologram nice
11:04did you see this i'm in the matrix leonard i see everything
11:08you gotta be kidding me you friended stewart on facebook
11:12i thought you didn't like facebook anymore
11:13don't be silly i'm a fan of anything that tries to replace actual human contact
11:20please you're looking at facebook to find out how their date went
11:23really you think i care if a man shared a pumpkin latte with a dynamite lady
11:29you're so full of it you are free to believe whatever you like
11:34and unfriend rajesh kutrapali
11:37you unfriended me seriously oh yeah now he's gonna miss all those great updates like i can't
11:42believe i waited this long to make my own potpourri
11:47sheldon why don't you just acknowledge that you have feelings for amy and you don't want her
11:50going out with other men and unfriend leonard hofstadter but here's a radical thought go old
11:57school challenge stewart to a fight i mean nothing makes the ladies hotter than two skinny white
12:01guys swatting at each other with their eyes closed
12:06and unfriend howard wallowicz
12:09that's all of us can i use the laptop why i have to buy that stupid collector's tent
12:17who do we love benny who do we love benny who do we love benny hello sheldon come on in
12:25thank you
12:27what's up i came to ask if you would like to go on a date with me
12:34i'm sorry what a date you and me dining dancing perhaps you'd like to take in a prize fight
12:44god are you trying to make amy jealous no why is everyone so obsessed with amy and stewart and
12:51whether or not they may be having more pumpkin lattes or intercourse tonight
12:56okay listen to me that playing games is not going to help get amy back i am not trying to
13:01get her
13:01back but out of curiosity what is a way all right honey let me tell you a story there's a
13:08guy i liked
13:09and i never told him how i felt eventually he started going out with someone else and i always regretted
13:14it
13:14do you see where i'm going with this i believe i do i'm the guy
13:25you're not the guy are you sure i would explain so much your constant presence in my apartment
13:32that baffling dalliance with leonard just to be near me the way you call me sweetie all the time
13:38i call everyone sweetie you tramp
13:43look sheldon all i'm saying is strap on a pair and go talk to amy strap on a pair what
13:49skates
13:52oh sweetie you are so not the guy
14:02you're bored you can go i understand
14:07no i'm having a nice time don't patronize me
14:13excuse me excuse me pardon me excuse me excuse me hi stewart hi sheldon
14:27sheldon what are you doing here the thought of you sitting in a darkened theater with a character
14:32like stewart is repellent
14:37no offense stewart none taken
14:39although repellent is kind of a kind of a strong word
14:47i'm sorry this causes you discomfort but based on the currently established parameters of our
14:52relationship i can put myself in any repellent situation i want um again stewart please you're
14:58being rude
15:01anything else
15:03i believe i would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship
15:11i'm listening
15:14with the understanding that nothing changes whatsoever physical or otherwise i would not object to us no
15:23longer characterizing you as not my girlfriend
15:34interesting now try it without the quadruple negative
15:38you're being impossible
15:41hi stewart
15:45fine
15:48amy
15:51will you be my girlfriend
16:01yes
16:01well that's enough of that
16:05sorry to interrupt you two enjoy your date
16:08here's a dollar for your troubles get yourself some sour patch kids
16:18so other than you taking your relationship to the next level with another guy this was nice
16:26yes well thanks for seeing me to my door oh you welcome amy amy amy
16:35let's wrap things up out there
16:42um good night stewart good night
16:47take the hint stewart the lady said good night
16:53how did you get into my apartment wow is that the kind of nagging i can expect now that you're
16:58my
17:01good thing i drew this up what's that i present to you the relationship agreement
17:12a binding covenant that in its 31 pages enumerates iterates and codifies the rights and
17:17responsibilities of sheldon lee cooper here and after known as the boyfriend and amy farrah fowler
17:23here and after known as the girlfriend it's so romantic
17:32mutual indemnification always is
17:37why don't you start perusing while i set up my notary stamp
17:42section 5 hand holding hand holding is only allowed under the following circumstances a
17:47either party is in danger of falling off a cliff precipice or ledge
17:51b either party is deserving of a hearty handshake after winning a nobel prize
17:56c moral support during flu shots
18:02seems a bit restrictive yeah feel free to retain a lawyer
18:15penny i said right hand red yeah i heard you i got red
18:23bernadette left foot yellow
18:27we should play limbo next no one beats me at limbo
18:33penny amy burdette
18:38that's my boyfriend it's open
18:41i got a splinter
18:44what do you want me to do about it relationship agreement section four boo-boos and ouchies you
18:49take care of it i should have gotten a lawyer
18:56it's like it's just us playing
19:04penny
19:09penny we're out of wine you should probably drive
19:20uh
19:30you
19:31you
19:31you
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