00:01and the next wedding gift is a gravy boat oh one gravy boat that's from Sheldon he told me he
00:09had
00:09it engraved in the event of a divorce please return to Sheldon Cooper one inappropriate yet
00:19I wish I thought of that gravy boat when I get married I'm gonna register at the UCLA cadaver lab
00:26why because I've always wanted a whole human skeleton and they are really spendy
00:32so you actually see you and Sheldon getting married someday not just someday in exactly
00:37four years but don't tell Sheldon he's still a flight risk what about you Penny what about me
00:45what do you think you and Leonard might never get married oh well you know Leonard is great
00:56but do you think you'll ever get married he's a sweetie you're not answering the question do you
01:02love him oh yeah sure of course I love him it doesn't sound like it well I do do you
01:10tell
01:10him that no you just take it the wrong way what does that mean it means he is special and
01:17smart
01:17and nice and you're gonna break up with him no maybe I don't know I had no idea you're unhappy
01:24that's the thing I'm not I'm not unhappy at all it's just I don't know I've been in love before
01:29but it
01:30felt different but maybe this is a new better boring kind of love do you ever feel that way about
01:39Howard
01:39oh that's not really a fair comparison I'm basically married to a sexy Buzz Lightyear
01:46Amy you can't help you kid whenever I'm around Sheldon I feel like my loins are on fire
01:53in the good way not the urinary tract infection way
02:23hey buddy how's it going up there
02:26you don't have to shout Raj it's not like I'm an astronaut floating around in outer space so wait
02:32I am
02:38oh is it everything you hoped it would be it's better I wake up every morning and I just
02:44can't believe I'm on this incredible adventure hey front lobes did you clean the space toilet
02:53excuse me I'm talking to my friends you know the rules new guy scrubs the toilet if you do a
03:02good
03:02job next thing we'll give you a brush funny we're always giving each other a hard time up here it's
03:14kind of like being in a frat you know joking kidding around hurting feelings okay my turn let me talk
03:21go ahead 2311 North Los Robles Avenue Pasadena California 2 International Space Station can you read me
03:28over yes I read you Sheldon copy that over what are you doing I'm talking to a man in space
03:39if you
03:40don't have the claim eyes will be at the coffee bean over on Lake Street you're out of your mind
03:46Sheldon yeah the negative my mother had me tested over come on scrub it up loops all right I gotta
03:56go
03:57there's a meteor shower you want to see a meteor shower take a look at what Dimitri just left you
04:03in the toilet
04:09all right over and out
04:13bye buddy
04:16hello hey Stuart come on in what are you doing here um Raj invited me to go to the movies
04:22with you guys
04:22yeah excuse me I didn't authorize this
04:29Sheldon you are not in charge yeah it's mighty sassy for a man with a roommate performance review
04:34around the corner what's the big deal you guys are bringing your girlfriends I didn't want to sit by
04:40myself the big deal is I was expecting us to be an intimate group of five now we're gonna be
04:45a
04:45faceless mass of six he'll be fine just uh pretend he's Wallowicz
04:53hmm
04:57do you like Raisinets
04:59take him or leave him at the movies Wallowicz always eats Raisinets
05:02would you feel more comfortable if I ate Raisinets
05:05it's hardly my business what you eat
05:07as long as it doesn't crunch during the film and it's Raisinets
05:13okay should we go yeah but one more question if you're gonna replace Wallowicz I need to know
05:18a little more about you all right Wallowicz went to MIT what's your educational background
05:23I went to art school equally ridiculous let's go
05:48this insistence on hand-holding is preposterous
05:52well I like it yeah of course you do you're a girl you like all kinds of hippy-dippy things
05:59just watch the movie
06:04it's not fair Penny isn't making Leonard hold hands
06:10there might be a reason for that sweaty
06:16unhygienic looks dumb take your pick
06:20Penny said she's not sure she wants to be Leonard's girlfriend anymore
06:27wrong she just took a sip from his diet Dr. Pepper
06:32so
06:33so if she wants to end her pair bond with Leonard why on earth would she guzzle a witch's brew
06:38of his soda and spit
06:42it's complicated
06:43string theory is complicated
06:47that's just yucky
06:51don't get any ideas
06:56all right for the sake of argument let's say that's true
06:59why doesn't Penny just end the relationship
07:02she's not sure how she feels
07:04how can she not be sure how she feels
07:06you know when I have a feeling I know it
07:10trains love them
07:13swordfish I love them too
07:15they're fish with a sword for a nose
07:22regardless don't say anything to Leonard
07:24now you're asking me to keep a secret from my best friend colleague and roommate
07:30yes please Penny will kill me
07:32fine
07:34FYI secret keeping hated
07:38hand holding not a fan
07:42hammerhead shark I love that thing
07:45yeah it's another fish with a tool on its head
07:50raisin it
07:51shh we're trying to watch the movie
07:56this is not working out with him
08:13what are you doing
08:14I think I might have tartar buildup
08:19my tongue won't go as far forward as it used to
08:23maybe your tongue is shrinking
08:33nope
08:39oh you have no idea how annoying this is
08:43I'm starting to get a sense of it
08:47don't worry I'll take you to the dentist tomorrow
08:49thank you
08:51I appreciate that
08:54you're good people Leonard
09:04there's something I need to tell you
09:06okay
09:09I can't tell you
09:12why
09:14I can't tell you why I can't tell you
09:18so I guess there's two things I can't tell you
09:21I wish there were more
09:25good night
09:33I'm sorry this is really important
09:35what is it
09:40I like the transformers
09:43do you like the transformers
09:47where exactly did your mother have you tested
09:50Leonard
09:53the transformers teach us that
09:55things are not always what they appear to be
09:58like a semi truck
10:00like a semi truck
10:01might be an alien robot
10:02or someone in a romantic relationship
10:06might feel differently than they appear to
10:09or a conversation about the transformers
10:14might actually be about someone in this room
10:22I'm going to pause to let that sink in
10:28okay I think I understand
10:29you do
10:30the guy who seems like an emotionless robot
10:34is you
10:37but your relationship with Amy
10:40is causing you to transform
10:41into a red-blooded man with sexual desires
10:49that is literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard
11:01Leonard Leonard Leonard
11:06what are you sleeping
11:08I was now I'm having a nightmare
11:13what do you want
11:16never mind I still can't tell you
11:22Penny
11:30Penny
11:35Penny
11:36Penny
11:36Oh my God
11:41Sheldon
11:42You frightened me
11:48What are you doing in my bedroom
11:50Yeah well I knocked on the front door
11:52but you didn't hear it
11:53How did you even get in you weirdo
11:55Yeah really
11:56I've seen strange men traipsing in and out of here for years
11:59but when I do it it's weird
12:02What do you want Sheldon
12:03I was having a little trouble sleeping
12:06and I just thought
12:07you know
12:08seeing as you're up
12:09we could talk
12:11Talk about what
12:13Oh I don't know
12:14Weather
12:16Fish you could do carpentry with
12:19Why Leonard is such an attractive and desirable boyfriend
12:22Pick one
12:23Your choice
12:25Sheldon
12:26Did you know that Leonard has a perfect driving record
12:29and enjoys the insurance discounts that go along with that
12:32Hubba hubba
12:36Okay go home crazy man
12:38Did you know that while Leonard is not considered a tall fellow in our country
12:43in today's North Korea he's downright average
12:46You talk about a keeper
12:50Okay what did Amy tell you
12:52Oh very well
12:53I can't keep up this clever charade any longer
12:57She told me that you were thinking of ending it with Leonard
13:01Okay you listen to me
13:03I think it's really sweet you're trying to protect your friend
13:06but this is none of your business
13:07Got it
13:07Excuse me
13:09This is not about protecting my friend
13:15I'm a big fan of homeostasis
13:18Do you know what that is?
13:20Of course not
13:24Homeostasis refers to a system's ability to regulate its internal environment
13:29and maintain a constant condition of properties like temperature or pH
13:33Worst bedtime story ever
13:38My point is
13:40I don't like when things change
13:42So regardless of your feelings
13:45I would like you to continue dating Leonard
13:48And also while we're on the subject
13:50You recently changed your shampoo
13:52I'm not comfortable with the new scent
13:55Will you please stop this madness and go back to Green Apple?
14:00Okay honey I have a lot to figure out
14:02And until I do you are not to say a word to Leonard
14:06Do you understand?
14:08I do
14:09Are you clear on the shampoo issue?
14:11Get out
14:17Penny
14:17What?
14:19Please don't hurt my friend
14:23That is the last thing I want to do
14:25Thank you
14:29Coconut
14:29What were you thinking?
14:30Are you a hula girl?
14:40Get out
14:41Hello?
14:42What the hell is wrong with you?
14:44You told Sheldon?
14:45Do you know what a terrible position this puts me in?
14:48Hang on please
14:51Hello?
14:52Yeah just a heads up
14:54Penny knows that you blabbed about Leonard
14:56She's pretty mad
14:59I know
15:00She's yelling at me right now
15:02Alright then
15:03So we're all on the same page
15:10Hey Bernie
15:11There's my hubby
15:13How's everything going up there?
15:15Oh
15:15It's okay
15:16Space is
15:17Beautiful
15:18Earth is beautiful
15:19Same old same old
15:23What's wrong?
15:24Nothing
15:25Everything's fine
15:27Howard
15:30The other astronauts are being mean to me
15:36Oh no
15:37What are they doing?
15:38Well like
15:38For instance
15:39The other day
15:40When I was asleep
15:41One of the guys went on a spacewalk
15:43And glued a big eyed rubber alien mask to the outside of my window
15:50When I woke up I screamed for like nine minutes
15:55Oh Howie
15:56You can see it if you want
15:57It's on YouTube
15:58Google astronaut screams for nine minutes
16:03Why don't you stand up to them?
16:05What am I supposed to say?
16:07I don't know
16:09Say
16:09Being mean is lame
16:11What's cool is being nice
16:20Great
16:21I'll do that when I want to be the first guy in space to get a wedgie
16:27Do you want me to call somebody at NASA?
16:29No
16:30My mom already tried that
16:32It only made things worse
16:37Gelatinous sphere
16:40Focus locust
16:42Temple of Yip
16:45I'm sorry
16:45Wallace would never play that card
16:49Alright
16:51Lesser demon turtle
16:52Fairy god monster
16:54I win
16:56Your desperate need for friendship makes you weak
17:01So what are you guys doing later?
17:03Stuart and I were thinking of going out for a drink
17:05Gonna try to meet some girls
17:06Cause that's what we do
17:10Watch out ladies
17:11A little coffee and cream coming your way
17:17In case you didn't follow that
17:18I'm the coffee
17:22Leonard
17:22Maybe you'd like to go with them to meet girls
17:25I would be interested
17:26I have Penny
17:27Yeah for now
17:30But that woman has a death wish
17:32Leonard
17:33She talks to strangers
17:35She pets unfamiliar dogs
17:37And it is ridiculously easy to break into her apartment
17:42If I were you
17:44I'd get a backup
17:45You can't just replace someone you care about with some other random person
17:49Uh please don't ruin this for me
17:54Do you remember how upset I was
17:57When they replaced Edward Norton as the Hulk
18:00Yes
18:00You walked around for a week saying
18:02Sheldon unhappy with casting choice
18:07But then Mark Ruffalo was the Hulk in the Avengers
18:11And he was even better
18:12What's your point?
18:13Call me a romantic
18:15I like to think that your Mark Ruffalo is still out there somewhere
18:22This is ridiculous
18:23Are we gonna play cards or not?
18:25I like Mark Ruffalo too
18:26Yeah settle down there fake wallowits
18:30No one likes to kiss up
18:35So I had to take Sheldon to the dentist this morning
18:38Really?
18:39Yeah
18:40I told him if he didn't bite the hygienist
18:42I'd take him for ice cream
18:46I didn't have to take him for ice cream
18:50Uh huh
18:51You okay?
18:52You seem a little distracted
18:57Look there's something I need to tell you
19:00Oh
19:01Yeah okay
19:02I don't really know how to say this
19:04Just say it
19:06Okay
19:07Here goes
19:08Uh huh
19:16You slept with him?
19:19I didn't know what else to do
19:20He had those big sad eyes
19:22I'm sure you had no choice
19:28He looked at me like this
19:34If that's all it takes
19:35It's a good thing you don't have a dog
19:42Don't worry
19:42You'll have plenty of chances to break up with him
19:44Your wedding day
19:45Your honeymoon
19:46Your 50th anniversary
19:47Look it's fine
19:50We're not getting married okay
19:51We're keeping things
19:52You know
19:53Homeostasis
19:57So cute when she tries
20:05It's from Leonard
20:07Last night was amazing
20:08You're amazing
20:09I'm so lucky to have you in my life
20:14Okay stop it
20:19Hey Bernie
20:20Guess what
20:21I stood up to the other astronauts like you said
20:23And I gotta tell you
20:24Last night was the first time in a week
20:27I got a good night's sleep
20:36Oh Howie
20:38What's wrong?
20:40You look upset
20:40Nope
20:41This is my proud face
20:59This is my proud face
21:00You look upset
21:10You're not getting married
21:10You're a fan
21:11You tear
21:13You're not getting marriedельзя
Comments