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Watch The Big Bang Theory AMZN GalaxyTV Season 5 Episode 19 online in HD on Dailymotion.
Transcript
00:01Hey, want to spend some time playing the new Star Wars game this weekend?
00:04I don't know, I kind of promised myself I'd get off the computer,
00:07be more physically active, get some exercise.
00:10You're about to walk up three flights of stairs.
00:15Good point, I'm in.
00:18You know what would be great? Let's do it like the old days.
00:22You talking gaming marathon?
00:24Yeah, start Saturday morning, go 48 hours, sleeping bags, junk food.
00:28Turn off our phones so our moms can't call.
00:33It would be like our World of Warcraft party a few years ago when the neighbors called the cops on
00:37us.
00:38They called the cops because of the smell, they thought we were dead.
00:45We were badass back in the day.
00:50Alright, let's do it.
00:5148 hours of Star Wars gaming.
00:53It's on like Alderaan.
00:57Hey Sheldon, where are your weekends starting Saturday morning Star Wars marathon?
01:02Movies or video games?
01:04Or board games?
01:05Or trading card games?
01:06Or Legos?
01:07Or dress up?
01:07Or comic books?
01:08Or dramatic readings of novelizations?
01:10Yes to all!
01:14We are going to play the online game.
01:16The online game?
01:18The online game?
01:18Bully!
01:20Gentlemen, as much as I'm sure Sheldon would enjoy playing intergalactic make-believe,
01:24he and I have other plans.
01:26We are attending my Aunt Flora's 93rd birthday party.
01:29Just tell her I can't come.
01:31She'll be disappointed if we don't show up.
01:33She's 93.
01:34She won't be disappointed for very long.
01:38Now hang on, I followed all the protocols set forth by you in the relationship agreement.
01:43I made a written request 72 hours in advance.
01:47Checked the tire pressure on the car.
01:49I even contacted the Centers for Disease Control to find out what shots they recommend for travel
01:53to Orange County.
01:57FYI, it's none.
01:59Amy, the relationship agreement was not designed for either one of us to get our way.
02:04You use it to get your way.
02:06I use it to get the right way.
02:09The fact that the right way is also my way is a happy coincidence.
02:15You gave me your word.
02:16You're coming with me.
02:17Well, Mr. Sheldon...
02:19Yeah?
02:20Well, who wants to spend the whole weekend running around a bunch of pretend planets battling made-up monsters?
02:25That's for babies.
02:27Yeah, but it's got lightsabers.
02:29Please, Amy, it's got lightsabers!
02:34The universe was in a hot, dense state that nearly 14 million years ago expansion started way around.
02:40The earth began to cool.
02:42The autotrophs began to drool.
02:43Neanderthals developed tools.
02:44We built the wall.
02:45We built the pyramids.
02:47Math, science, history, unraveling the mystery.
02:49That all started with a big bang.
02:52Hey!
02:58Hello, Stuart.
02:59Hey, Sheldon.
03:00Happy with anything?
03:01Yes.
03:02I'm attending a party this weekend for a 93-year-old woman.
03:07Can you recommend a gift?
03:10I don't know.
03:12Put a tennis ball in the end of Excalibur, make a pretty badass cane.
03:18Do you supply the tennis ball?
03:20No.
03:20Then, no.
03:23What else?
03:24Uh, oh.
03:26That's a collector's edition Batman utility belt.
03:30Maybe she could use it as a wearable pill caddy.
03:35Well, she'd just look silly wearing that without the rest of the costume.
03:41I'm sorry, Sheldon.
03:42That's it.
03:43That's all I got.
03:44No, it's not your fault.
03:45I've been to the model train store.
03:47I've been to Radio Shack.
03:48This woman's impossible to shop for.
03:51I'd make fun of Sheldon for having girl problems
03:54if I wasn't in shock that Sheldon has girl problems.
03:58Well, Leonard, go ahead and mock.
04:00Like my daddy always said,
04:02Shelly, women aren't anything but flipping pains in the bottom.
04:08That's what your father used to say?
04:10Well, I took out the bad words and the yee-haw, but you get the gist.
04:15Look, if you don't want to go to the party, just don't go.
04:18You're a grown man.
04:19Act like one.
04:21Tell Amy you want to spend the weekend having a sleepover
04:23and playing video games with your friends.
04:27Maybe she'll dig it.
04:28Women like a firm hand on the tiller.
04:31I can never find the tiller.
04:35I got a book.
04:37It didn't help.
04:39Yeah, I always thought if I were ever enslaved,
04:41it would be by an advanced species from another planet.
04:45Not some Hotsy Totsy from Glendale.
04:49I downloaded an app that might be helpful in this situation.
04:59You're right.
05:01I'm smart as a whip.
05:02I should be able to figure this out.
05:07Hey, listen.
05:08I kind of made plans with the guys this weekend,
05:10but then I wondered because we're in this relationship beta test
05:13if I should have asked you first.
05:15Then I thought if I did check with you first,
05:18you'd think that I was taking things too seriously,
05:21and then I got a nosebleed.
05:26You don't have to check with me.
05:27Do whatever you want.
05:28Oh.
05:30I guess I was hoping for a different reaction, but okay.
05:33Really?
05:34What were you hoping for?
05:35I don't know.
05:36Maybe that you'd be a little upset,
05:38and then you'd realize that I'm a stallion that has to run free.
05:46That would turn you on a little.
05:49Okay.
05:50I'm an actress.
05:50Ask me again.
05:53Do you mind if I spend the weekend playing video games with the guys?
05:57What?
05:57The entire weekend?
05:58You mean I wouldn't see you at all?
06:00But I just...
06:01No, no.
06:02I knew what I was getting into.
06:05You can't put a saddle on Leonard Hofstetter.
06:09Oh, my.
06:11Is it getting hot in here?
06:13I, Poppy.
06:15I, Poppy?
06:18What is that?
06:19An acting choice.
06:21So you chose that when you become turned on,
06:24you turn into Speedy Gonzales.
06:28You got a problem with that, Poppy?
06:32Uh-uh.
06:33Penny.
06:34Penny.
06:35Penny.
06:37Sorry, Stallion.
06:38Your weird friend Giraffe is here.
06:43Hello, Penny.
06:44I just stopped by to bring you this gift.
06:47Gummy bears, thank you.
06:48Now that you're in my debt.
06:52Please manipulate Amy into releasing me from my commitment
06:55to attend her aunt's tedious birthday party.
06:58I'm out of chance.
07:00Ah, right.
07:00I thought the candy might not be enough,
07:02so let me up the ante.
07:03Uh-uh.
07:04These are Cooper coupons.
07:07These are for various things I can do for you.
07:10Um, oh, this one is for one free grammar check.
07:14Uh...
07:14You could use it for emails, letters, tattoos, what have you.
07:19Um...
07:20Oh, this is a fun one.
07:21This is an afternoon with me at the California Science Center,
07:25where I point out their mistakes.
07:29Keep an eye on those expiration dates.
07:31I've been burned more than once.
07:34All right, sweetie, I'm not gonna get involved in your relationship.
07:36Oh, come on, it's just a simple favor.
07:39Now, when's the last time I asked you to do something for me?
07:42Yesterday.
07:42Yesterday.
07:42You made me look in your ear to see if there was a ladybug in it.
07:46When is the last time I asked you to do something that wasn't a medical emergency?
07:50Yesterday.
07:50You made me look in your ear to see if there was a ladybug in it.
07:55All right, then.
07:55I have no choice but to go on to Plan B.
07:58What's that?
07:58I'm gonna run around outside with a wet head and try to catch a cold.
08:06Good morning.
08:07Hello.
08:09I think you're really gonna enjoy yourself today.
08:11Not only do you get to meet my relatives,
08:13but since my aunt's nursing home is catering the party,
08:15all of the food is incredibly soft.
08:17It's like a vacation for your teeth.
08:19All right.
08:22You sure you're okay with this?
08:24Yes.
08:25I decided to find a way that I could have this experience and enjoy it.
08:32That means a lot to me.
08:33Oh, don't thank me.
08:34You thank wireless technology.
08:36I realize I can go to your aunt's awful party
08:39and still spend the whole day gaming with my friends.
08:45Sheldon, my relatives are gonna wanna talk to you
08:47and you're gonna be sitting there playing a game?
08:49Isn't that a little rude?
08:51Oh, I got that covered.
08:53Headset.
08:54I won't hear a word the old geezers are saying.
09:00You know, if playing that game is more important to you
09:03than honoring your commitment to me
09:04and you don't mind me showing up at a party all by myself
09:06after I've already told everybody I'll be bringing somebody,
09:09then fine.
09:10Go home and play your game.
09:14Thanks.
09:17Oh, listen.
09:18I wouldn't mind a piece of birthday cake,
09:21provided the old gal's candle blow is clean and dry.
09:32Here you go.
09:34I've got everything we'll need for the big game.
09:36Low fat turkey jerky.
09:39Low carb beer.
09:42100 calorie snack packs.
09:46Pick up a Y chromosome while you were there?
09:48You might be short one.
09:50Hey, I plan on leveling up in the game,
09:52not my swimsuit size, thank you very much.
09:55Gentlemen, the game offers us a choice
09:57between playing for the Republic and the light side
10:00or the Sith Empire and the dark side.
10:03We're always the good guys.
10:05In D&D, we're lawful good.
10:06In City of Heroes, we're the heroes.
10:08In Grand Theft Auto, we pay the prostitutes promptly
10:11and never hit them with a bat.
10:16Best women are prostitutes?
10:19You said they were raising money for stem cell research.
10:24Hey guys, I got a surprise.
10:27If it's yogurt that helps ladies poop,
10:29I think Raj beat you to it.
10:33No, Bernadette's gonna be playing with us,
10:35so that's pretty cool, huh?
10:36Right, Curtis?
10:39You invited your girlfriend?
10:41This is supposed to be our weekend.
10:43I had no choice.
10:44Last night, she said,
10:45why don't we go out for brunch tomorrow
10:47and then maybe the Arboretum?
10:48And I said, well, no.
10:49I promised the guys
10:50I was gonna play a video game with them all weekend.
10:51And she said, that sounds like fun.
10:53Can I come too?
10:54And then I didn't answer for a second.
10:55And then she said,
10:55well, do you not want me to come?
10:57And then I bought her a new laptop in the game
10:58and she's parking the car right now.
11:02Is the whip sound app contextually appropriate here?
11:07It is, but I think you might have waited too long
11:09for it to be funny.
11:15I was wrong, it's still funny.
11:17Oh, good.
11:25Amy, what's wrong?
11:28My boyfriend's a jerk.
11:31Well, I know he didn't cheat on you,
11:33so what happened?
11:36I had to go to my aunt's party all by myself
11:38and everybody was like,
11:39where's his boyfriend you're always talking about?
11:41Is he real or did you make him up
11:42like Armand the Miniature Horse Breeder?
11:47Who's Armand the Miniature Horse Breeder?
11:49The pretend boyfriend I invented
11:51to get my family off my back.
11:52It unraveled quickly when I couldn't answer the question,
11:55how'd you two meet?
11:58I would have thought it a miniature horse show.
12:00Well, that's good.
12:03I panicked and said Woodstock.
12:07I just wanted to show Sheldon off to my family.
12:10Sure, I get that.
12:11I mean, he's your first boyfriend and all.
12:13Not just my first boyfriend,
12:14he's the best boyfriend.
12:15I mean, think about it.
12:17I'm dating Sheldon Cooper.
12:22Yes, on purpose.
12:25He's handsome.
12:27He's lanky.
12:28He's brilliant.
12:28His skin has that pale, waxy quality.
12:33Well, sickly is the new sexy.
12:38Yeah.
12:39Mm.
12:41You know, Amy,
12:42sometimes when you're in a relationship
12:44with someone you really care about,
12:46the sucky part is it leaves you open to getting hurt.
12:49Do you ever worry about Leonard doing that to you?
12:51That's hilarious, no.
12:56Get that guy!
12:57Get that guy!
12:58Pew!
12:58Pew!
12:59Pew!
12:59Pew!
13:00Uh, Dr. Rostenkowski,
13:03it may interest you to know
13:04that saying pew, pew, pew
13:06isn't as effective as pressing your blaster key.
13:09In the same way that saying whee
13:11doesn't make the land speeder go.
13:15Pew!
13:18Raj, Imperial Troopers on your tail.
13:21Got him!
13:22When Gandhi advocated his philosophy of non-violence,
13:25I bet you didn't know how much fun it was killing stuff.
13:30But I think we got them all.
13:32Let's divide up the loop.
13:33Ooh, look at this pretty purple robe I just got.
13:36You should put on yours and then we'll match.
13:38But I worked hard to get this armor.
13:41Sorry, I just thought it'd be nice if people knew we were a couple.
13:46Fine, I'll change.
14:01I don't think I want to play a game.
14:03Oh, come on.
14:04They're playing one across the hall.
14:05We should too.
14:06Okay.
14:07We are going to take turns bouncing a quarter off the table
14:10and if it goes into this cup,
14:11the other person has to drink.
14:13Then you get to go again.
14:14And you cut.
14:19Like that?
14:21Wow.
14:21Yeah.
14:22Beginner's luck.
14:23So now I will drink this entire cup of beer
14:25and you will go again.
14:27And we can...
14:32All right, so yeah.
14:33Okay, now I'm going to drink this entire cup
14:35and then I'm going to drink another one.
14:38Okay, seriously, stop.
14:39What the hell?
14:41I spent a lot of my childhood throwing coins into wishing wells
14:44hoping for friends.
14:45At a certain point you start doing trick shots
14:47just to keep things interesting.
14:49Whoa, whoa, whoa.
14:50Give me a second to catch up here.
14:51Hold on.
14:54That'd be my boyfriend.
14:56Happier playing his dopey Star Trek game with his friends
14:58than hanging out with me.
15:00Wars.
15:01What?
15:02Star Wars.
15:03They get all cranky when you mix the two up.
15:05What's the difference?
15:07There is absolutely no difference.
15:11How do I get him to treat me better?
15:14All right.
15:15Let me give you a little girlfriend 101.
15:18Usually a first move out of the gate is you withhold sex,
15:21but that will work better after Sheldon hits puberty.
15:25So, I'd say give him the silent treatment.
15:29No.
15:30He loves that.
15:31Our record for sitting in a room together
15:33and not speaking to each other is six and a half hours.
15:35He said it was a magical evening.
15:38All right.
15:39Then we're going to have to go with an oldie but goodie.
15:42Making a scene.
15:43I don't think I'd be good at that.
15:45Yeah, that's why you're lucky to have me.
15:46Back in Omaha, there are two different restaurants
15:48I'm not allowed into.
15:49Both chilis.
15:55Bernadette, remember your character's the healer in our group.
15:57You're in charge of healing all of us, not just Howard.
16:00I can't help it.
16:02My Howie-Lowie has an owie.
16:06That is the most sickeningly sweet thing I have ever experienced.
16:10And I am sipping Kool-Aid through a red vine.
16:17Sheldon Cooper, I've got a bone to pick with you
16:19and I'm about to do it in front of all your friends.
16:21Yeah, you picked that bone.
16:22You picked that bone clean.
16:24I'm going to publicly shame you
16:26and then sit back as societal pressure
16:28compels you to modify your behavior.
16:30Oh, burn.
16:33And if you don't start treating me better,
16:35I'm leaving you for a miniature horse breeder named Armin.
16:41Armin who?
16:42Armin...
16:43Damn it.
16:47Sheldon, she wanted to show you off to her family
16:49and you stood her up, okay?
16:50Look at this adorable, smushy face.
16:53The smush, smush, smush, smush.
16:57You're hurting me.
16:58No, Sheldon hurt you.
17:01Before, now it's you.
17:05I think I understand.
17:08You're the one person who can say Sheldon Cooper is your boyfriend,
17:11but that rings hollow if you can't lord him over others in the flesh.
17:17I forget what I bring to the party
17:19and what I take away when I leave.
17:23Please accept these valuable Cooper coupons.
17:29As restitution.
17:31Sheldon, she doesn't want your stupid coupons.
17:33Science Center redeeming.
17:34Let's go.
17:37Well played, Amy Farrah Fowler.
17:40Let me get my coat.
17:42Now grow up, Leonard.
17:46Excuse me, I have something to say.
17:50None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend.
17:55It was going to be like the old days, the four of us hanging out, playing video games
17:59before you guys all got girlfriends.
18:02Do you have any idea what it's like to be the only one without a girlfriend?
18:06Even if I get one someday, I'll sit with a guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!
18:17And that's how a girl makes a scene.
18:25I'm sorry, sweetie, you're right.
18:26You deserve your weekend.
18:27Come on, Amy, let's go.
18:28What about the Science Center?
18:30I'll let you hold my hair while I throw up.
18:34Brain check.
18:37I'm gonna go, too.
18:39I'll miss you.
18:40I'll miss you.
18:41I'll miss you more.
18:42No, I'll...
18:42Just leave!
18:48Okay, now.
18:49This is the way it's supposed to be.
18:51Men together, fighting the forces of evil.
18:54Here, here.
18:58Comedy, this is only 64 calories.
19:13Howard Joel Wolowitz!
19:15I've been worried sick for two days, and I know you turned off your phone!
19:22You open up this door right now because I've had it up to here!
19:26I have been to the morgue in the hospital,
19:28and I spent the last half hour walking up these fakakta stands!
19:35That's my ride. Gotta go.
19:56While suffering is so sickening, I don't care.
19:58We'll be right back, boys.
19:58I am so sedating!
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