00:01hey will you see my uniform next yeah interesting do you recall this
00:06conversation Leonard want to go have these on a steamer yet no show then we
00:10don't need a steamer looks like that rumpled chickens come home to roost
00:17I hear the makeup sponges you asked for oh thanks I thought I had more damn you've
00:26got more makeup than I do you've got better makeup than I do yeah I'm
00:31borrowing this this is my Comic-Con makeup I love you but there are some
00:36things a man doesn't share with his girlfriend that's a wise policy I once
00:42borrowed my sister's makeup for costume contest got terrible case of pink eye
00:46yeah but luckily I was going as a zombie I went second place I feel like you guys
00:52just went to Comic-Con that was San Diego Comic-Con this is Bakersfield Comic-Con
00:57is that better it's a lot smaller it's more about the comic books the way
01:01these conventions used to be before they went all Hollywood so to answer your
01:04question no it's not better well then why are you going it's a comic book
01:10convention yeah it's like pizza or particle accelerators eating the stinky
01:14ones still pretty good all right well you guys have fun I guess I'll see you
01:19Sunday night yeah okay oh hang on a second hold this
01:28what was that for to show people when they don't believe me
01:57this is the best you have booze with
02:00breakfast on a Tuesday you got a problem you do it on the weekend you got
02:03brunch Sheldon doesn't believe in brunch he can't stand being at a table
02:08where one person's having an omelet another person's having a sandwich it's not
02:13exhausting at all oh Leonard says they're on the road and headed for
02:21Bakersfield at warp speed maybe it's the mimosa but I'm gonna give the kid an
02:26lol it's cute how excited they are you should have seen Howard sewing his
02:32costume all week for the convention when did Howard learn to sew when he was a
02:36little boy every couple months he would have to let his mom's pants out I don't
02:43even understand why they go to conventions I know four of them work at a
02:47major university they're all super smart how can they still be into something
02:50made for 12 year olds I don't mind it I think how he's just in touch with his
02:54inner child although when he comes to bed in his Batman pajamas sometimes it
02:58feels like I'm touching his inner child it's probably because they were bullied
03:04growing up in a world where you can't fight back superheroes provide
03:08meaningful wish fulfillment now I feel bad for picking on all those kids
03:13although in my defense of Danny Biffle didn't want to eat a mouthful of
03:16dirt he shouldn't have shown up to school wearing a bowtie never even read a
03:21comic book you guys I mean it's such an important part of their lives maybe we
03:26should try reading some seriously comic book store isn't far from here that is an
03:33amazing idea okay how many of these have I had I think you should turn on the GPS it is
03:46on yeah but
03:47that the turn-by-turn voice option isn't on you know I know I feel more safe if you'd turn
03:51on the
03:52turn-by-turn voice option I love the turn-by-turn voice option has it really
03:57only been 10 miles turning it on but just to shut you up Leonard bear left and
04:06continue on interstate 210 sounds like that fellow knows what he's talking about I'll put on my listening ears if
04:16I were you
04:17what did you do I found a hack online I was able to upload mp3 recordings in my
04:23voice to your GPS that is so cool counterpoint no it's not
04:29continue on interstate 210 for five miles here's an interesting fact about interstate
04:37interstate really he says interesting interstate are numbered as follows even
04:46numbered routes run east and west numbered routes run north and south three digit
04:54route numbers indicate bypasses or spurs look Leonard there's a bridge drive off it
05:05you know we're not that far from Vasquez rocks oh they shot a lot of Star Trek episodes out there
05:10we got our costumes in the trunk we could go there and have a little photo shoot great idea I
05:17haven't
05:18had a carbohydrate in two weeks these cheekbones need to be in front of a camera before I eat a
05:22pretzel and they're gone yeah it sounds fun oh smashing now Leonard do you know how to get there
05:30no yeah well luckily someone in the car does recalculating while we're waiting do you know which
05:39president signed the interstate highway system act into law the answer coming up in 14 miles
05:48none of you will get it it's Eisenhower
06:06why are they staring who cares just soak it in
06:13hello boys oh hey
06:21can you please stop staring they're just girls it's nothing you haven't seen in movies or in drawings
06:28hey Stuart what brings you guys here we're looking for a recommendation about comic books
06:33oh well I recommend you don't open a store and sell them no we were just wondering why the guys
06:39like
06:39this stuff so much so we thought we'd give it a try oh okay what do you think you might
06:43be into
06:43superhero fantasy graphic novels manga I swear I will turn a hose on you
06:54what kind of comics do the guys like um a little bit of everything mostly superhero stuff
06:59all right well who's the best superhero can't ask a question like that in here you're trying to
07:05start a rumble what do you recommend well uh let's see you've got your basic clean-cut good guys
07:13superman spider-man captain america then you have your darker anti-heroes your batman your wolverine
07:20punisher oh I do love a bad boy
07:24as evidenced by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters
07:30are you I'd go for fables number one the artwork is sophisticated it's intelligently written and it
07:35doesn't objectify your stereotype women oh Thor he's hot yeah he kind of is
07:48and we're blending and we're blending and we're done
07:58I know mr. data isn't supposed to smile but here it comes
08:07come on guys let's do this yeah I'm sweating my bald cap off
08:17so what's our first pose gonna be uh I say we begin with a classic star trek fight scene I'll
08:21set the
08:28timer
08:29Sheldon how is that a fight pose mr. data's weapon is his mind I'm wielding it
08:43phasers on the bog
08:47charlie's angels
08:53okay what's next now let's do some sexy glamour shots
08:57I'll set the mood
09:06nice one
09:11that's right
09:12Nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice.
09:16Oh, my God, why not someone stealing your car?
09:18What?
09:19Hey, hey, come back here.
09:22No, stealing is against the law.
09:27I don't believe this.
09:28Son of a bitch.
09:30Well, I called 911.
09:32What?
09:33Oh, no, my phone is in my other pants.
09:35Oh, so's mine.
09:37Anybody got any ideas?
09:39Nope.
09:40The only thing left to do now is assign blame.
09:42Nice going.
09:49What kind of a person steals another person's car in broad daylight?
09:52What kind of a person leaves his keys in the car?
09:55I thought we agreed this was all Kutrupali's fault.
09:57You're right.
09:59Nice going.
10:02Car.
10:10What's wrong with people?
10:11Why don't they stop?
10:12Maybe we're better off.
10:14You know, what if we were to get in a car with a crazy person?
10:17Look at us, Sheldon.
10:18We're the crazy people.
10:23Well, you know, perhaps we should hold up a sign that assures passing motorists of our mental competence.
10:31Good idea.
10:31Why don't you get started on that?
10:35Come on, let's just start walking.
10:37There's got to be a gas station or something nearby.
10:40What, you think just because you're wearing a captain's uniform, you're in charge?
10:42Yes.
10:45All right.
10:58Okay, I'm done.
11:01How did you guys finish so fast?
11:03I didn't know there were a lot of pictures and one page only had the word Brackadoom.
11:10Yeah, well, I have street smarts.
11:13So what'd you guys think?
11:15Well, there was a lot of action and the story moved along at a brisk pace.
11:21It was, overall, what's the word I'm looking for?
11:24Stupid?
11:25So stupid.
11:27I don't know how Leonard can get so caught up in this.
11:29It's crazy.
11:30They spend hours arguing about things that don't even exist.
11:33What a waste of time.
11:34I know.
11:34A hammer's so heavy that no one else can pick it up.
11:39I don't think it's heavy.
11:41I think it's some sort of magic so only Thor can lift it.
11:44That makes even less sense.
11:45I mean, no, no, no, it doesn't.
11:50Thor is a god.
11:51The hammer is his.
11:53Only he can use it.
11:54It's like Sheldon and his toothbrush.
11:58Or his thin, beckoning lips.
12:01Oh, wait, hang on.
12:02What if Thor's hand is on the hammer?
12:05I mean, if he's touching it with his god magic,
12:07then does that mean I could lift it?
12:08No.
12:09Yes.
12:11Well, which is it?
12:13Maybe we missed something.
12:15Let's read it again.
12:16Okay.
12:17Yeah.
12:24Want some tea?
12:25Good idea.
12:26I'll help you.
12:28Wait, I thought we were reading.
12:30We are.
12:31We're just, uh, giving you a head start.
12:44Wish my mom was here.
12:46Could all hang out in her shadow.
12:51Old pants in the desert.
12:53Feel like I've got poached testicles.
12:58Oh, you poor thing.
13:00You're sweating.
13:01That's so much worse than having your car stolen.
13:03Insurance is going to buy you a new car.
13:06It's not going to defunct my junk.
13:10Antelman, a little less bellyaching.
13:13We're Starfleet officers and a member of the Borg Collective.
13:17Please, Sheldon, I am so not in the mood.
13:20Leonard, all our lives we have dreamed of finding ourselves inside one of the fantasy worlds we love.
13:27And look at us.
13:29At this moment, we are, in fact, a Star Trek landing party.
13:33You know, stranded in an alien and unforgiving environment.
13:37Relying only on our wits, our fortitude, and our moxie.
13:41And as long as we have those things, nothing...
13:52I hate this planet.
14:00It says right here on the hammer,
14:02whoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.
14:06Hold on.
14:07Who decides who's worthy?
14:08Does the hammer decide?
14:09Yes.
14:12It can't decide.
14:14It's a hammer.
14:15You said it's a magic hammer.
14:16Yeah, but it can't make decisions.
14:18If Harry Potter's wand can make decisions, why can't Thor's hammer?
14:22Okay.
14:22If you're going to start comparing wands and hammers,
14:25it can't even take you seriously.
14:29Okay.
14:45Hello.
14:48Hello.
14:50I have four glasses of water, please.
14:55Anything for you guys?
14:58Can I use your phone?
14:59Our car got stolen.
15:01Why don't you ask Scotty to beam you up?
15:07Scotty was on the original series, and we're next generation.
15:13So, joke's on you.
15:18We're not with him.
15:25You can't pick something up in outer space.
15:28In space, there is no up.
15:29Oh, yeah?
15:30Then how does the sun come up every day?
15:34Hard to argue with those kind of street smarts.
15:42Leonard and Sheldon have boxes of comics across the hall.
15:45Why don't we go look at those?
15:46Oh, great.
15:46Yes.
15:47And then you will see I am not wrong.
15:49Because if we were in outer space,
15:50then anyone could pick up the hammer
15:52because it would be floating around in a weightless environment.
15:55Yep, that's right.
15:55The slow reader used science.
15:57Suck on that.
16:01Is there anything valuable in the car?
16:03Our clothes, our wallets, phones.
16:06And about $300 worth of makeup,
16:07so this thief could look like anyone right now.
16:12Makeup.
16:13Sure.
16:17We're going to the Comic-Con in Bakersfield.
16:20They have a big costume contest.
16:22It's cooler than it sounds.
16:26I don't know.
16:26Sounds pretty cool.
16:29Look, it is.
16:31It's not just comic books.
16:32They've got action figures, toys,
16:34a Tron team, dance party.
16:35Okay, he gets how cool it is.
16:38I think I have all I need here.
16:40You guys need me to call someone?
16:42I'm guessing your mom's.
16:47Thanks, but we've got it covered.
16:49Okay, I just talked to my mom.
16:55She arranged for us to get a rental car.
16:58Great, we can still make it to Comic-Con.
17:00Are you kidding me?
17:01After all we've been through,
17:02I just want to go home.
17:03Don't be like that.
17:05Come on, have a talk to him.
17:06I'm with Leonard.
17:08I'm done.
17:10Fine.
17:10Then I guess it's two against two.
17:12How do we decide?
17:16Actually, it's three against one.
17:18What?
17:18Well, what about the mission?
17:20You said we're a real-life landing party.
17:22Well, we're not.
17:23We're an imaginary landing party.
17:26We have real-life garbage thrown at us
17:28by real-life strangers who think we're idiots.
17:32To tell you the truth,
17:33I'm starting to feel like one.
17:35I want to go home now.
17:39Okay.
17:41Did we at least rent the car from Enterprise?
17:47Get it?
17:48Enterprise.
17:50Screw you, that's funny.
17:56Well, what if the Hulk picked up Thor
17:58while Thor is holding the hammer?
18:00Yeah.
18:01Then by the transitive property
18:02of picking things up,
18:03Hulk picked up the hammer.
18:06No, Hulk picked up Thor.
18:08Thor picked up the hammer.
18:10Okay, hang on.
18:11If I go to a bar and pick up a guy
18:12and he picks up a girl
18:13and then we all leave together,
18:14did I pick up the girl?
18:20Did that ever happen?
18:24Hey, we're talking about me
18:25or we're talking about Thor?
18:32Well, I say that's the last time
18:35we ever go outside.
18:38Look right here.
18:39Red Hulk is picking up Thor's hammer
18:41because Thor's touching it.
18:43Because they're in space.
18:45He's really just touching the strap.
18:47The strap is part of the hammer.
18:48No, it's not.
18:50Are they actually arguing about comic books?
18:53No, that can't be right.
18:55Maybe Thor's hammer
18:57is a new color of nail polish.
18:59No, it's not.
19:00No, it's not.
19:01Red Hulk must be worthy.
19:02How could Red Hulk be worthy?
19:05You don't know his life.
19:11No, there's only one logical explanation.
19:13Somewhere in the desert,
19:15we cross into an alternate dimension
19:17where the women in our lives
19:19can finally appreciate great literature.
19:24If it's an alternate dimension,
19:26sounds like a job for a landing party.
19:33Captain, what are your orders?
19:37I say we investigate.
19:42We do wait.
19:46They might be hostile.
19:50Fine, but set them to stun.
19:52If we vaporize Penny,
19:53I'll never find a girlfriend that pretty again.
20:03Fun fact.
20:05President Eisenhower signed
20:07the Federal-Aid Highway Act
20:09from his hospital room.
20:12Ow.
20:13That is interesting.
20:16You learn something new every day.
20:19Say, can you name
20:21the four state capitals
20:23that are not served
20:24by the interstate system?
20:25Ooh, another quiz?
20:27Yes.
20:28Shh, we'll see you next time.
20:39See you next time.
20:40Bye.
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