- 23 hours ago
First broadcast 5th October 1978.
Mildred is not happy about George mending his motor-bike in the house but when Ann goes into labour with Jeffrey away in Birmingham and no chance of a mini-cab it comes in handy for rushing her to the hospital in time.
Yootha Joyce - Mildred Roper
Brian Murphy - George Roper
Norman Eshley - Jeffrey Fourmile
Sheila Fearn - Ann Fourmile
Nicholas Bond-Owen - Tristram
Cass Allen - Sister Barnes
Gail Lidstone - Nurse Watkins
Michael Redfern - Policeman
Paul Meier - Doctor
Mildred is not happy about George mending his motor-bike in the house but when Ann goes into labour with Jeffrey away in Birmingham and no chance of a mini-cab it comes in handy for rushing her to the hospital in time.
Yootha Joyce - Mildred Roper
Brian Murphy - George Roper
Norman Eshley - Jeffrey Fourmile
Sheila Fearn - Ann Fourmile
Nicholas Bond-Owen - Tristram
Cass Allen - Sister Barnes
Gail Lidstone - Nurse Watkins
Michael Redfern - Policeman
Paul Meier - Doctor
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00I
00:30Oh, my God.
01:00It is essential that spark plugs are kept fully inflated at the correct pressure.
01:22Well, that can't be right.
01:31Ah, clean and adjusted.
01:34Yeah, well, that's better.
01:44Carburetta.
01:46Carburetta.
01:47Carburetta?
01:48No.
01:53Oh, God, those glasses.
01:55It gets worse.
01:58What are you doing?
02:00I'm stripping down the motorbike, Mildred.
02:02What, on my best lace tablecloth?
02:05Yeah, well, I didn't want to scratch the plastic top.
02:07What's wrong with using newspaper?
02:11Well, I haven't finished reading it yet.
02:13Oh, look, George, it's ruined.
02:18It was a wedding present from my mother.
02:21Yeah, well, I didn't mean to.
02:24Don't upset yourself.
02:25Well, then, oh, look, there, there, there.
02:29Oh, my God.
02:32And it belonged to her mother before her.
02:35Oh, well, as long as it wasn't you.
02:36Oh, you fool.
02:39I mean, just look at my kitchen.
02:42It looks as if an oil slicker, isn't it?
02:45Right, George.
02:47I give in.
02:49I mean, I have tried to keep a nice house,
02:52but you prefer a mess.
02:53Right, I'll join you.
02:55I can make a mess, too.
02:57Right.
02:58Oh, but that's not a mess.
02:59That's childish.
03:01No, no, yes.
03:02Oh, George.
03:04I'm beginning to enjoy it, yes.
03:06That is stupid.
03:09Oh, come on, join in.
03:10Come on, you try it.
03:11Oh, hey.
03:13Oh, you would, too.
03:14I know, wouldn't you?
03:16Now, clear that mess from off my table, please.
03:18I can't, Mildred.
03:19It's all laid out in order.
03:20If I move things, I won't know where to put them.
03:22I could advise you.
03:25Yeah, well, at any rate, Mildred,
03:27I'll clean up just as soon as I've finished.
03:29Really, George?
03:30I mean, fancy stripping it down
03:32and laying it out on the kitchen table.
03:34It's a thoroughbred, Mildred.
03:35It needs a bit of cossetting.
03:36Well, so do I, but you've never laid...
03:39I won't leave it.
03:40Yeah, well, anyway,
03:42it made a sort of rattling sound
03:43every time I rode it.
03:44Rattle, rattle, rattle, it went...
03:45Yes, well, that's your head, George.
03:47Your crash helmet's too big for it.
03:50Right.
03:51I wouldn't mind, George,
03:53but, I mean,
03:53you don't even know what you're doing.
03:55Yes, I do.
03:58Rubbish.
03:59The last time, you forgot to put the saddle on.
04:01There's still a dent on the garage roof.
04:04Right.
04:05Come on, move.
04:06Now, I'm going to take all this shopping
04:08round to Anne's,
04:09and while I'm away...
04:11Yeah?
04:11...you can pick up the sugar lumps.
04:13Ow.
04:16Are you sure you wouldn't like me
04:18to pack some sandwiches?
04:19No, no, I'll find a restaurant
04:20on the motorway.
04:22I'm taking Egon Roney's
04:23Beggars Can't Be Choosers Guide.
04:25You, uh,
04:26you will be all right on your own.
04:27Well, you'll be home this evening,
04:28and I promise I'll write.
04:29Well, what happens if you start?
04:31If I start,
04:32they'll hear me in Birmingham.
04:33It's not due till Saturday.
04:35No, I'm playing golf on Saturday.
04:36Have to cancel it.
04:37I can't, Geoffrey.
04:39No, the golf.
04:41Now, I want to be present at the birth.
04:43Are you still sure about that?
04:46Yes.
04:47We should both be present.
04:48Well, I haven't got much choice.
04:50You're not doing this out of a sense of duty?
04:52Of course not.
04:53Well, you didn't enjoy it
04:54when Tristram was born.
04:56You'd never have got through it
04:57if I hadn't been there to hold your hand.
05:00And I started this.
05:01I want to be there at the finish.
05:03Right?
05:04Oh, what a weight.
05:05I've got to carry it around all day.
05:06You're getting no sympathy from me.
05:11Oh, uh, look,
05:12just in case anything does happen,
05:13I've written down the phone number
05:15of the hospital,
05:15the police,
05:16and the fire brigade.
05:17I'm not going to burst into flames, Geoffrey.
05:19Yes, well...
05:21You know who that'll be.
05:23It'll be Mother Hen again.
05:23I've got your eggs for you, dear.
05:29Yes.
05:30And the rest of the shopping.
05:31Oh, thanks, Miffy.
05:32No, no, no.
05:33I take them through.
05:34They're very heavy.
05:35Hello.
05:36Hello.
05:37Bye.
05:41Drive carefully.
05:46Oh, and, uh,
05:47I've got him some bicky pegs for his teeth.
05:49I know it's a bit early,
05:50but there was five points off.
05:51Oh.
05:52Yes.
05:52You shouldn't, Mildred.
05:54Oh, well,
05:55I'm not likely to have one of me own, dear,
05:57and, well,
05:58we've tried and tried and tried again.
06:02Oh, well.
06:02I've tried a fourth time
06:04only George got fed up.
06:06Oh, and, um,
06:08I've got a little leaflet here for you.
06:10It's about, uh,
06:11it's about a new milk formula.
06:13Ah.
06:14Well, I'll be feeding him myself.
06:16Oh, well, yes,
06:17but, I mean, I thought...
06:18Oh, you mean with your...
06:19Yes, well,
06:24I'll keep George away.
06:26I think Tristan herself,
06:28it's as natural as walking.
06:29Left, right, left, right.
06:31Yeah.
06:31Oh, oh, by the way, dear,
06:33I got the baby a little present the other day.
06:35Oh, Mildred.
06:36Oh, it's nothing.
06:37It's just a little rattle,
06:38and I left it in the saddlebag
06:39on George's motorbike.
06:40A rattle?
06:47What's the matter?
06:48Nothing, dear,
06:49but I think I ought to get home quite soon.
06:51Now, look,
06:52you sure I can't help you any more?
06:53I mean, uh,
06:54has Tristan had his lunch?
06:55Well, he's out in the back garden
06:57playing cricket.
06:57Oh, whoops!
06:59Oh, dear.
07:00Or possibly football.
07:03Oh, come here, stupid...
07:06Stupid grommet.
07:12Come on in, love.
07:13That's it.
07:15Tristan's having his lunch with us
07:16because Anne's putting her feet up.
07:18Oh, yeah.
07:19I have a question, Mildred.
07:21Yeah?
07:22Does this ring a bell?
07:25George, it rattles.
07:28I've taken a bite to pieces for nothing.
07:30Well, it was coming to pieces, anyway.
07:32Well, stupid waste of time.
07:34What are you doing now?
07:36What?
07:37Oh, er...
07:38I'm doing a bit of fine-tuning.
07:43What would my little man like for lunch?
07:45A couple of bacon doorsteps.
07:46George, I'm not interested in your disgusting taste
07:49and I'm asking Tristram.
07:51I'll have a couple of bacon doorsteps, please.
07:58I'll cut the crusts off.
08:02Ow!
08:02Well, lastly, the thing won't fit.
08:06Er, I don't think it's supposed to go in there.
08:08What?
08:09According to the book,
08:11this bit goes in, er, here.
08:14Oh.
08:14Then this connects to that,
08:17I think, yes.
08:19Which means we can tighten up this bit.
08:21Spanner, please.
08:22Oh, yes, right, yeah.
08:25So this will go there.
08:27Oh, yes.
08:28I don't think we've got too many problems here.
08:31Oh!
08:36Oh.
08:38Oh.
08:39Any idea what your little brother or sister's going to be named?
08:43Adé.
08:44Pardon?
08:44My mum says when she's had this one,
08:47she's going to call it Adé.
08:49Oh.
08:50Oh.
08:51Yes.
08:51Yes, well.
08:54He's supposed to come on Saturday.
08:57He'll be able to watch the multi-coloured swap shop.
08:59Oh.
09:01Definitely.
09:02Yes.
09:03Oh, yeah, yeah.
09:05Running sweet as a nut she is.
09:07I reckon I did a good job of work there.
09:09Yeah, with a little help from our friends.
09:11No, they don't make motorbikes like that anymore.
09:13No, it's against the law.
09:15They're all Japanese these days with slanty headlamps.
09:18Give me the good old British Norton,
09:19or BSA 500cc.
09:21Oh, you knew you had something between your legs then.
09:26Well, now if we are...
09:29Oh, saved by the bell.
09:34Hello?
09:35Oh, hello, love.
09:36Yeah, yeah, he's just finishing his lunch.
09:38What?
09:40Oh, right, dear.
09:42Yes, I'll be round in a sec.
09:43Bye.
09:45George, George, I'm just popping next door.
09:49Oh, whoops.
09:50Mustn't forget this.
09:54I'll shove over, son.
09:57Now then, I reckon she spends more time round your place
09:59than she does here.
10:00That's what my dad says.
10:07Well, that's another one.
10:08Oh, that's every ten minutes.
10:11Should I go and boil some hot water or something?
10:13Well, not unless you want a cup of tea.
10:14Oh, my God.
10:16It could take ages yet.
10:17Should I phone Mr. Formile?
10:18Well, he's in Birmingham somewhere on business.
10:20Oh, so there's just me here?
10:22Just me?
10:24Relax, Mildred.
10:25Well, there must be somebody I could phone.
10:27The Fire Brigade.
10:28Right.
10:28No, no, no.
10:29But you could let the hospital know I'm coming in.
10:31Oh, right.
10:32What's the number?
10:33It's on the hall stand.
10:34Oh, right, dear.
10:35Yes.
10:35Yes, I'll do that.
10:37Right.
10:37Hospital.
10:38Oh.
10:41Hospital.
10:42Hospital.
10:44Oh.
10:46Oh.
10:50Yes?
10:51Oh, he wants a bit of cake, Mildred, and we haven't got any.
10:54Cake?
10:55Oh.
10:56Uh, yes.
10:57Yes, dear.
10:57Uh, come on in.
10:58We'll see what we can find.
11:00That's it.
11:02Where's my mum?
11:03Uh, she's upstairs, dear.
11:05Is she having another one?
11:07Another what?
11:08Lie down.
11:09Oh, yes.
11:12I wouldn't mind a bit of cake, Mildred.
11:14Stay there.
11:15Now, go through.
11:17Help yourself.
11:17Take all you like.
11:19Thanks.
11:19Look, why can't I have a bit of cake?
11:21If you can have a bit of cake, why can't I have a bit of cake?
11:23Be quiet.
11:24Be quiet.
11:24Sit down.
11:25Now, Anne is upstairs, having the baby.
11:29Oh, my God, I'm going to...
11:29No, no, no, sit.
11:32George, it is up to you and I to help her.
11:35If necessary, we'll deliver it.
11:39Aye?
11:39I know nothing about delivering babies.
12:09Mildred.
12:09Mildred.
12:10Anyway, I was going to watch Rainbow on telly.
12:12I need you here, George.
12:14Now, phone the hospital and tell them she's coming in.
12:17Mildred!
12:18Mildred, I'm no good at this sort of thing.
12:20Just dial the number, George.
12:23Get your finger in.
12:24Reception, may I help you?
12:25Yeah, yeah, he's starting.
12:35What has?
12:37Well, the what's name?
12:38The baby.
12:39Oh, I see.
12:40May I have a name, please?
12:42Well, I don't think they've decided on it yet.
12:44No, your name.
12:48Mine.
12:49Oh, mine.
12:49Yeah, yeah, it's Roper.
12:50George Roper.
12:51Oh, I see.
12:53Er, I assume your wife is booked in.
12:56Er, oh, hang on, I don't know.
12:58Just a minute.
12:59Mildred!
13:00What?
13:00Are you booked in?
13:01Not me, you fool, Anne.
13:05She's booked in for Saturday.
13:07Oh, yeah, right.
13:07Yeah, she's booked in for Saturday.
13:09In the name of Anne.
13:11Er, well, four mile.
13:13Oh, yeah, a minute.
13:14How often are the constructions coming?
13:19Every ten minutes.
13:21About ten a minute.
13:22Oh, no, no, no, no.
13:24Every ten minutes, yeah.
13:25Oh, that's fine.
13:27You'd better bring her in.
13:28Oh, yeah, right.
13:29Mildred!
13:30You'd better bring her in right away.
13:31I'm just off to watch Rainbow.
13:34Hey, there!
13:36Home for a minicab.
13:37Oh, God.
13:41There's no panic, Mildred.
13:43When Tristram came, he took ages.
13:45Yes, I know, but this is your second.
13:47I mean, it might know the way or something.
13:50It won't barson, Mildred.
13:51No, it won't, dear.
13:53Have you got a minicab organised?
13:54Oh, well, George is doing that downstairs,
13:56but I'll check for you, love.
14:00Come on, come on.
14:03Oh, hello.
14:04Hello, have you got a minicab?
14:06What?
14:07No, that's what I'm ringing you for.
14:10George, it's me.
14:12Mildred?
14:13Yeah.
14:14What are you doing to Hampton Wick minicabs?
14:18Have you got a minicab yet?
14:20Oh, no, not just yet.
14:23Well, keep trying.
14:24He's trying, love.
14:28Sit down, dear.
14:30That's it.
14:30I've, uh, I've...
14:31Oh, love.
14:32Oh.
14:33Right?
14:34I've got a backpack.
14:35Yes, well, that's...
14:36That's very wise, dear.
14:38Oh, action man.
14:40Yes.
14:41Tristram thought he'd keep me company.
14:42Oh, how sweet.
14:44Oh, you mustn't forget this.
14:45Er, er, excuse me.
14:52I, er, er, I hope I'm not interrupting anything, but, er, er, I've phoned all the local companies.
14:58George!
15:00Er, er, and you can't get a cab for about an hour or more.
15:03Oh, dear.
15:04An hour?
15:05Hmm.
15:05Well, there's only one thing for it.
15:07You're going to have to drive Anne in.
15:08But Geoffrey's got the car.
15:10Well, I wasn't, er, thinking about the car, dear.
15:13We turn left into the next crossroads.
15:24What?
15:26Oh, yes.
15:27Yes.
15:34Do you want to go through the park?
15:37No.
15:38Straight there, please.
15:40Yes, I thought.
15:43Ow!
15:44Ow!
15:58Oh, I thought so.
16:00Are you any good at mending punches?
16:05Mr. Rake, the gardener.
16:07Ha-ha.
16:07Does it hurt having a baby?
16:11Er, no, love, no.
16:14Well, perhaps just a little bit, you know.
16:18Is it worse than scraping your knee at football?
16:22It's very similar, yes.
16:25Er, have you got Mrs. Bunn the baker's oven?
16:29It's Danny!
16:31Managed to get away a bit early.
16:33Ha!
16:34Oh!
16:34Er, where's Anne?
16:36She's having the baby.
16:37What?
16:39It's no worse than scraping your knee at football.
16:42Er, er, did you manage to get a cab to the hospital?
16:45Er, no.
16:45George has taken her in his motorbike.
16:47Ah.
16:48What?
16:49No.
17:03Er, it's terrible.
17:06Eh.
17:07Oh, good yet.
17:13right what's the story is there a fire is the wife having a baby or are we barry sheen oh no
17:35oh yeah yeah baby see what it oh um yeah follow me oh yeah right here we are have you any idea how long
17:56you'd be I mean well I mean shall I hang around a bit you see and take it back I don't think so
18:04oh yes maternity isn't it you don't miss much mrs. four mile sister yes nurse nurse mrs. four mile
18:17ward two well thank you very much wish me luck oh yeah good luck uh would you like to go and sit
18:25down I'll get you a cup of tea oh right yeah oh well I've got to get back hey looking at the
18:34husband you wouldn't think you had it in him would you
18:55all right what's the story I'm having a baby
19:24oh my wife my wife's having a baby there's a lot of it about shouldn't you brought her with you sir
19:32oh oh oh yeah right actually uh actually uh while I'm here I wonder if you care to look at my knee
19:51it's very kind of you no no no no no no no no it doesn't bend the way it should
19:59which way does it bend oh we see it gets stiff in the cold weather
20:04yes yes she's in delivery now oh I see the husband wants to be present at the birth
20:11oh well let's have him in or he'll miss the big moment yes yeah see it's sort of a well it swells up
20:20like a balloon see especially oh oh yeah that was a very good cup of tea any chance of another one
20:25will you come along with me yeah right
20:26do you know anything about knees uh not really I'm in maternity it's not pregnant is it
20:37well no no um you can roll your trouser leg down now you're not joining the masons
20:42well uh this what what's this for exactly hygiene hygiene oh oh yeah
20:51oh well you can't be too careful can you uh any chance of a piece of cake
20:56maybe later now you are quite sure about this it's not too late to change your mind you know
21:03oh we'll practice sausage roll
21:05how am i gonna drink my tea through this follow me yeah such thing as carrying hygiene too far you
21:18know yeah but all the same yes yes oh my god
21:26excuse me jeffrey formile pardon and mrs formile's husband oh yes i can't see him anywhere
21:37you can you're looking at him but you're nothing like him i am where is my wife delivery room through
21:46there oh
21:47um darling how are you darling
21:52where is my wife
21:59it's a boy they're both fine oh congratulations oh charles
22:07he's got a little formile got my nose my chin oh don't worry they should grow out of it
22:17he's an absolute poppet when's hang gonna bring him in oh in a minute she's just feeding him in the
22:24kitchen oh oh good i'll go and say hello uh jones oh oh yeah no that's not my one regret is that i
22:32wasn't present at the birth oh you didn't miss much believe me oh you didn't miss much believe me
22:35there she was legs
22:37yeah yeah yeah thank you george have you thought of a name for him one or two yes
22:43oh the baby yes oh we were thinking of tarquin or peregrine
22:47what sherry went down the wrong way
22:53oh there he is
22:56oh
22:57you should see what mum's been doing
23:01can't we afford to buy real food
23:05oh isn't he sweet
23:11i suppose so a bit like a prune
23:13i was just saying darling um tarquin or peregrine
23:18oh i've had a thought about that jeffrey you know how helpful mr rope has been
23:21well i mean if it hadn't been for him
23:23how do you feel about calling him george
23:26thank you
Comments