- 1 day ago
First broadcast 28th January 1993.
At a fund-raising function Arthur is offered the chance to buy a cheap Daimler from Goodtime Motors.
George Cole - Arthur
Gary Webster - Ray
Glynn Edwards - Dave
Nicholas Day - D.S. Morley
Jonty Stephens - D.C. Field
Jim Carter - Tomkins
Colin Jeavons - Lockwood
Peter Bayliss - Ashley (as Peter Baylis)
Ian Keith - D.C. Reed
Ronnie Letham - Mel Taylor
René Zagger - Stuart (as Rene Zagger)
Phillip Manikum - Syd
Amanda Burton - Prosecuting Counsel
Alan Rowe - Magistrate
David K.S. Tse - Willie (as David K. S. Tse)
David Belcher - Tony
Eileen Bell - Miss Brown
David Hobbs - Desk Sergeant
Colin Spaull - John
Julia Goodman - Female Guest
Jeffrey Robert - Male Guest
Alan Palmer - Male Guest
Barny Clevely - Billy Mortimer
Russell Milton - Jailer
David Brocklehurst - Inspector
Paul Kelly - Bailiff
Peter Allen - Man in Lineup
Kenneth Coombs - Man at Luncheon
Mykel Mills - Man in Court
Reg Thomason - Magistrate
Tommy Windward - Man at Luncheon
At a fund-raising function Arthur is offered the chance to buy a cheap Daimler from Goodtime Motors.
George Cole - Arthur
Gary Webster - Ray
Glynn Edwards - Dave
Nicholas Day - D.S. Morley
Jonty Stephens - D.C. Field
Jim Carter - Tomkins
Colin Jeavons - Lockwood
Peter Bayliss - Ashley (as Peter Baylis)
Ian Keith - D.C. Reed
Ronnie Letham - Mel Taylor
René Zagger - Stuart (as Rene Zagger)
Phillip Manikum - Syd
Amanda Burton - Prosecuting Counsel
Alan Rowe - Magistrate
David K.S. Tse - Willie (as David K. S. Tse)
David Belcher - Tony
Eileen Bell - Miss Brown
David Hobbs - Desk Sergeant
Colin Spaull - John
Julia Goodman - Female Guest
Jeffrey Robert - Male Guest
Alan Palmer - Male Guest
Barny Clevely - Billy Mortimer
Russell Milton - Jailer
David Brocklehurst - Inspector
Paul Kelly - Bailiff
Peter Allen - Man in Lineup
Kenneth Coombs - Man at Luncheon
Mykel Mills - Man in Court
Reg Thomason - Magistrate
Tommy Windward - Man at Luncheon
Category
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TVTranscript
00:09I'm going to be back to the next meeting.
00:18I have to go back to the next meeting.
00:31Arthur, Ray.
00:32Mel, I was beginning to get a bit anxious.
00:34You were born anxious, Mel. I told you I wouldn't let you down.
00:36I know, but being Association Secretary is no bed of roses.
00:39There's so much to think of, so much to organize.
00:42It must be tough at a tilt, Mel.
00:43Yes, Ray, indeed it is.
00:45Arthur, could I have a quiet, discreet word with you?
00:48Yes, certainly, Mel.
00:49Ray, see if you can find our table and large vodka.
01:08Tonight's agenda, Arthur.
01:09No trouble.
01:11Immediately after dinner, I introduce Billy Bortimer.
01:13Then when he's finished entertaining us, I draw a raffle.
01:16Yes. Now that's all I want to speak to you about.
01:17Billy Bortimer's going to win the raffle.
01:21I didn't know you were clairvoyant, Bill.
01:29Now that's Billy's winning ticket.
01:30That's the one I want you to draw out of a hat.
01:32A bank raffle is nothing sacred.
01:35Look, Arthur, that's the only way you get someone like Billy Bortimer to be guest speaker.
01:39Has he got a thing about winning raffles?
01:41He's got a thing about not paying tax.
01:43Yes. He wins the raffle.
01:44That's £500 cash prize.
01:46If it goes through the books, he'll be looking to collect a grand.
01:48Well, I'm all for the people having a poverty in their revenue, but this is highly irregular.
01:52Don't worry, Arthur.
01:53It's all above board.
01:55It was agreed by the committee.
01:57Oh, all right.
02:10So, I said, if you think I'm going to honour the warranty, when you've driven the car over a ploughed
02:16field and into the river, you've got another thing coming.
02:18Quite right, too.
02:20Bloody cheek.
02:25It's nice to see Arthur relaxing, Raymond.
02:29It's good for him to forget about work for a few hours.
02:32Arthur!
02:33Good to see you.
02:34Charlie!
02:34Where's Mrs. Dane?
02:35Oh, sadly, she couldn't come.
02:36Allergic to heights.
02:37Two heights, Arthur?
02:38We're on the second floor.
02:40Listen, I've got that Capri you wanted.
02:41I can let you have it for £500 off this price.
02:44Right.
02:44Done, Arthur.
02:45I'll collect it tomorrow.
02:47Sid, just a man.
02:49How do you feel about a gross of clipping car ashtrays that play smoke gets in your eyes?
02:53No, Arthur.
02:54But I am in desperate need of 50 kookaroos.
02:58Kookaroos?
02:59That's what I like about Arthur Daly.
03:02All you men is all you want to talk about is business.
03:05Where's your sense of fun?
03:06The bank manager's holding it as collateral.
03:08Oh!
03:10Come on, Raymond.
03:11How many raffle tickets are you going to find?
03:15Please, Arthur.
03:16All I want are the kookaroos.
03:17I'm not buying anything else tonight.
03:19But I do know a man who's selling.
03:21I think you might be interested.
03:22You still thinking of updating your daimler?
03:24Yes, here I am.
03:26Ever heard of good-time motors?
03:31Winchester's club?
03:32Oh, hello, Arthur.
03:34Dave, can you do me a favour?
03:36Yeah, I want you to ring a bloke called Tony.
03:39Oh, he's giving away a daimler, a lunatic price, and I want to be first in.
03:44Well, the thing is, I don't have a phone number, and Director Inquiry seemed to be on an extended tea
03:50break.
03:52But I'm in the middle of a business meeting.
03:56It's fairly awkward for me to stop my detailed negotiations.
04:00So, so.
04:01Well, keep trying until you get the number, and then give this Tony a bell.
04:06Good time motors.
04:07Tony, good time motors.
04:11That's right, Arthur.
04:12I've got that.
04:12Yeah, you can leave it with me.
04:16Arthur.
04:19Oh, Billy Mortimer.
04:21I'm Arthur Daly.
04:22I'm introducing you after dinner.
04:24I'm looking forward to your sick as a carrot over the moon, body in the box, football's a game of
04:29two sides routine.
04:30Yeah, well, I leave that to Gazer and the others.
04:33Just wanted to have a word with you about the raffle.
04:35Oh, no problem, no problem.
04:37All under control.
04:39You've got a nice little number going here, haven't you, with this after-dinner speaking caper?
04:42Damn sight easier than getting clogged all over the park by psychopathic defenders.
04:45Yeah, yeah, I suppose it is.
04:47Quite a pleasant form of remuneration.
04:49Time for dinner, is it, Ray?
04:50You've already missed the first course, and we owe the raffle lady 20 pound.
04:56And I'm sure you will all join with me in hoping that Captain Charisma, a number 10, comes to the
05:05aid of our beleaguered profession.
05:08What this country needs is less schools and hospitals and more filling stations.
05:18This government must launch a four-pronged attack to come to the help of the motor trade.
05:27One, reduce buses and trains.
05:31Two, increase fares.
05:34Three, put down a few more thousand miles of tarmac in the countryside.
05:45And four, encourage the building of huge supermarkets in remote locations.
05:56We've only had input for the evening, Arthur.
05:59And now the man we've all been waiting to hear, followed by the drawer for the raffle.
06:04I give you Mr. Golden Boots himself, the only striker this government ever approved of.
06:10Billy Mortimer!
06:18Thank you very much. Good evening.
06:26Well, they've never had a good time, Mote, but they can do you a nice drop of ocean, eh?
06:30Sid said it was around here somewhere.
06:32He said Waterloo Archers.
06:34You've got a feeling for this car, haven't you, chap?
06:36I certainly have.
06:37One-year-old Daimler, 20 grand. It's got to be a slip.
06:40I'll be meaning to get a new model for some time.
06:42We'll keep on looking, then.
06:44Later.
06:44That car's got my name on it.
06:46I know it.
06:52Okay.
07:17Willie, this is an unrepeatable offer.
07:19My French supplier, fully cognizant the approaching Chinese New Year, has slipped me three gross of these little beauties.
07:24I can let you have a quantity discount that will make your mouth water.
07:30But, what exactly is it you want to sell him?
07:31He said he said he could get a little bit cheaper than you.
07:33He said he could wash a lot of his money market.
07:34I think it's if he was going to sell it.
07:35I think I love it.
07:36Well, the Korean guy is a great deal of money to offer $80.
07:39He said he'd have to let you pay a little cheap.
07:50My father is all right here.
07:52but what exactly is it you want to sell him?
07:55Raymond, if you've been so good.
08:02Guaranteed to brighten any oriental gathering.
08:12Thank you very much.
08:14Um, thank you.
08:16You need to park the car.
08:17All right, where are we going?
08:18We are not going anywhere.
08:19I'm going to see a man about a dog.
08:20I'll see you back here in an hour.
08:52I'll see you back here.
08:52I'll see you back here in an hour.
08:58You didn't think you'd forgotten about picking me up.
09:03Right.
09:04Let's go in search of that dame, okay?
09:08How was the dog then?
09:10What dog?
09:11The dog you went to see the man about.
09:13Oh, yeah.
09:14Fine, fine.
09:15Keep your eyes on the road, bro.
09:23This town is like a scarlet, what's-his-name, everywhere and nowhere.
09:28Dave says there's a phone number listed.
09:31Do you want to try further down?
09:32No, no.
09:33We'll come back later.
09:35This place is like a warren.
09:44Hello, dear.
09:45Hi, Sid.
09:46Arthur about?
09:47Yeah.
09:48I'll keep you around.
09:49I'll keep you around.
10:00Arthur.
10:01What do you want?
10:03Are you all right?
10:04No, of course I am.
10:05What are you creeping up on me like that for?
10:07It sits outside for you.
10:14Sid, I've put word out about the cuckoo roots.
10:15I'll show you something soon.
10:16Not the cuckoo roots I want to talk to you about, Arthur.
10:18Take a look at this.
10:24Oh, oh, oh.
10:26Well, are you looking for a new car then?
10:27Don't be silly, Arthur.
10:29I've got 80 of these in the showroom.
10:31What I want and need is a new lamppost.
10:34Lamppost?
10:34Yes.
10:35Lamppost.
10:36To replace the one I demolished after the annual dinner.
10:40Reverse back into it, see?
10:41Oh, I do, see.
10:41I hate to think what the lamppost looks like.
10:43Well, with my luck, I couldn't hit a modern, ordinary one.
10:46I'd like to pick one with a preservation order on it.
10:50If I don't get a replacement, that council's going to do me.
10:53What'd you come to me for?
10:54What you want is a builder's yard.
10:56Not on this one, Arthur.
10:58Victoriana.
10:59Fluted with an octagonal head.
11:02You're always getting strange items coming your way.
11:05Well, I'll keep my eyes open.
11:07How much are you prepared to pay?
11:08Money's no object.
11:09I can't cope with a court case.
11:12Not in our line of business.
11:13Well, lampposts aren't using my 40, but that phrase, money, no object, will doubtless concentrate the mind.
11:20I'll see what I can do.
11:27Here, Arthur, I don't mind running these home at the Chinatown.
11:29Why don't you have an early night?
11:30Early night?
11:31What can I do with an early night?
11:33You haven't exactly been yourself today, have you?
11:35Slipping off to see men and better dogs, and I thought you was having a fit in the office.
11:38The moral of that story, my son, is always not before entering.
11:42I'm right as rain.
11:43I'll drop these bulbs off, and then I'll probably see you back at the winter, sir.
12:15I'll drop these bulbs off.
12:44I'll drop these bulbs off.
12:46I'll drop these bulbs off.
13:05Can I do anything for you?
13:06Uh, yes, my dear.
13:09Can you tell me...
13:10Good evening, sir. We're police officers.
13:12What's going on? What's happening?
13:14You're under arrest.
13:15What for? Touching a lamppost?
13:17You're under arrest for assaulting a police officer
13:19and contravening the Sexual Offences Act.
13:52Why are they taking my tie and braces away?
13:55Well, can't you try to top yourself?
13:57How thoughtful.
13:59How long they keep us in here?
14:00They're various.
14:02I'm in front-wiring cars,
14:04but they'll bail me in a little while.
14:05Well, you're being a bit indiscreet at me, isn't it?
14:08Not much choice.
14:10See, they caught me with me head underneath the dashboard.
14:12I tried to give them some fanny light.
14:14Said I was dizzy.
14:15Said I had nowhere to sleep.
14:15I was just resting for a while.
14:17What was their response?
14:18Said I'd be more comfortable in here.
14:22What are these others in here for?
14:25That one over there doing the press arms.
14:27He tried to do a runner from a restaurant.
14:29The others there all in for being drunk and disordered.
14:31He'll be there, I'll see.
14:34But you could be here quite a while.
14:36Why?
14:37Oh, come on.
14:38You're not exactly running the mill, are you?
14:39No, I certainly am not.
14:41I've got an international organisation.
14:43Branches throughout Europe.
14:45Oh, they've taken my business cards.
14:47Yeah, I knew it.
14:47I told you, I told you.
14:49I said, when we see him in my section,
14:51I said, now that is an international embezzler,
14:53if ever I have seen one.
14:54I am not an embezzler.
14:55Of course not, Governor.
14:57You don't worry, I'm not a plumber.
14:58I am highly respected in my community.
15:01Naturally.
15:02That would be all part of the front.
15:05Here.
15:06Your first division, aren't I?
15:08Oh, I certainly am.
15:11Right.
15:13Let's have the curb crawler.
15:35We've attempted to check the address she gave us.
15:38There was no one there.
15:40No, there wouldn't be.
15:41Her indoors is out visiting.
15:42What, this time of night?
15:43She's staying with her sister in Cromer.
15:46Case of while the cat's away, Sarge.
15:48Looks like it, Dickie.
15:50Cat or cat?
15:51I haven't got a cat.
15:52Just tropical fish.
15:53We've called ourselves a comedian.
15:57Let's talk about these.
15:59It's a red light bulb.
16:01Nothing unusual about that.
16:03What's unusual, Mr. Daly,
16:04is that we discovered getting on for three groceries in your car.
16:08Run a chain of dark rooms, do we, sir?
16:10There's a perfectly simple explanation for the light bulbs.
16:12And what is more, you'll find a receipt in my wallet.
16:15We already have a French receipt.
16:18Well, of course.
16:19They're French light bulbs.
16:42Arthur Daly, you are charged that in Barrington Street, SE 1, you did assault William Collins,
16:49a constable of the Metropolitan Police, in the execution of his duty.
16:53Contrary to Section 51 of the Police Act of 1964.
16:57You are further charged that in Barrington Street, you did solicit a woman for the purposes of prostitution.
17:03Contrary to Section 2 of the Sexual Offences Act of 1985.
17:07I'm not obliged to say anything about anything you do say will be taken down and may be used as
17:13evidence that you're trial.
17:16I'd like you to check these, please, Mr. Daly.
17:20And then sign a receipt.
17:23We're going to hold on to the light bulbs, Daly, while further inquiries are being made.
17:42Don't say hello, Ray.
17:43If you do, he'll be taken down and used as evidence against you.
17:46Come on, get me to Samadie.
17:50Hey, what you done?
17:51I'll tell you later.
17:58Well, he kept going on about them red light bulbs.
18:00I explained to him I was on my way to deliver them to a customer in Chinatown.
18:05I only got out of the car to check a lamppost.
18:07Check a lamppost?
18:08Yeah, Sid's looking for one.
18:10Flew it with Victorian with octagonal edge.
18:12Precisely.
18:12I thought I saw one, so I got out of the car to check it.
18:14Next thing I know, I'm being mugged.
18:16At least I thought I was being mugged.
18:18Who by?
18:19Well, it turned out to be two plainclothes melons.
18:21I've been charged, Dave.
18:23He fell over me foot and I get done for assault.
18:25Done me more damage than it did him.
18:27Then there was a business of the girl.
18:29You mentioned free charges of it.
18:31Yeah, something about curb crawling.
18:33I wasn't even in the car.
18:40Now, I've just had a long conversation with the Crown Prosecution, Sir Lister.
18:45See, Ray, that is the advantage of having a good legal man in your corner.
18:49I'm obliged to you, Mr. Daly.
18:50So, what, it's all cleared up, is it?
18:52I'll get a formal apology?
18:54Not quite.
18:55They're proceeding with the three charges against you.
18:57Case will come up at the earliest possible date.
19:00You seem to be taking a very sanguine view of this.
19:02Oh, I try not to become emotionally involved in my client's problems.
19:08Just financially involved, is it?
19:10Raymond, really.
19:11Sorry about that, Mr. Lopwood.
19:12But the lad blames himself for what happened.
19:14Well, if you'd let me take the light bulbs, Arthur, this wouldn't have happened.
19:17Yeah, I do blame myself.
19:19And take a very serious view of your alleged assault of the police officer.
19:23Assault?
19:23He fell over me foot.
19:25He sustained facial injuries, including three broken teeth.
19:29Yeah, but I didn't hit him.
19:30The ground did.
19:31I thought he was after me wallet.
19:32It was in me hand at the time.
19:34Yes, indeed.
19:35While you were allegedly negotiating with a convicted prostitute.
19:39I was trying to find a local motor dealer.
19:42Yeah.
19:43Well, it's an unusual defence if you could actually find him, I grant you that.
19:48The police solicitor advises me that prior to your arrest,
19:52there were numerous sightings of a man driving a daimler very slowly in the area.
19:57That was me.
19:58And me.
19:59We were looking for good time motors.
20:01Yes, as your statement said.
20:04Be useful for your defence if you could actually find the proprietor.
20:21Mr. Holmes, could you have brought you something to me?
20:29Primer, my son?
20:30I've struck gold.
20:32Badly sprayed Achilles tendon.
20:34No weight on the foot for two to three weeks.
20:37Just now, is that good news?
20:38Well, never mind me assaulting the police.
20:40This is what they've done to me.
20:41You heard what Lockwood said.
20:42Be good for my defence.
20:43These are the actions of a guilty man, Arthur.
20:45No, Raymond.
20:46These are the actions of a man who does not like being fitted up.
20:50Just think of the sympathy, this will get me in court.
20:52The best part of it is it doesn't even hurt very much.
20:55I'll get you to push me into the car just for a show,
20:57and then we'll bung the wheelchair and look at the car,
20:59until I have to go to court.
21:00I'll call you.
21:02Mr. Morley, what brings you to hospital?
21:06More to the point.
21:07What are you doing in that wheelchair?
21:08Sarge.
21:09Sarge.
21:10I've got to hurry back to the nick.
21:12You've got a couple of visitors.
21:14Sorry.
21:16Come on.
21:17Bye-bye, Mr. Morley.
21:19You realise what this means, right?
21:21Every time I want to go out,
21:22I've got to get in this thing.
21:29You've charged him with what?
21:31He's guilty.
21:33Really, Tomo?
21:35Curb crawling.
21:37Robbery.
21:38Possibly.
21:38Thrift or receiving.
21:40Likely.
21:40Cheating or conniving.
21:42Certainly.
21:43But curb crawling.
21:45And assaulting a police officer.
21:47He's going to walk all over you in the court, Tomo.
21:50Sharp, is he?
21:51You could shave with him.
21:52He didn't look so sharp the other night
21:54when we pulled him in.
21:55Make a voluntary statement, did he?
21:57No.
21:58What did he say when you officially charged him?
22:02Not a dickie.
22:04You got the wrong man, champ.
22:09Well, if we can't get any help from his local manor,
22:11we'll have to use our initiative, won't we?
22:12Looks like it.
22:13That Morley.
22:14What about him?
22:15I was a Hendon with him thick as two short planks.
22:17Surprised that he made Sargeant, then.
22:19That'll be a typing error.
22:22Do you know something?
22:24I was a Hendon with that Tompkins.
22:27Really?
22:27Yeah.
22:29And like the four finals,
22:31I caught him trying to copy up all my notes.
22:33Is that why you wouldn't help him
22:35with his case against Daly?
22:37Look, Phil,
22:37nothing would give me greater pleasure
22:39than helping to get Daly banged up.
22:41But I would like it to be for something
22:42he's actually done.
22:43Yeah.
22:44I must admit,
22:45the idea of Arthur Daly
22:46opening his wallet
22:47and offering money to anyone
22:48seems unlikely.
22:49The day that happens,
22:50there'll be pigs flying all over this manor.
23:04I'll be right back.
23:37You really are a tut through a villain, aren't you?
23:40You're one of the mill, don't get no ID parade.
23:43I keep telling you I'm not a villain.
23:45Then why are you talking outside of your mouth?
23:49This is fraught with risk, you know, Mr. Dedrick.
23:52Are you sure you're willing to do this?
23:54Mr. Lockwood, we are about to blow their case right out of the water.
24:09Right, gentlemen, you're so kind to stand and lie over there.
24:14Now you can take any position you like, Mr. Daly.
24:16Oh, it's Mr. Daly today, is it?
24:17Make a note of that, Ray, will you? Intimidation.
24:20Look, I'm a busy man, so let's get on with it.
24:22You'd love that, wouldn't you?
24:24Mr. Lockwood, will you point out that they are all in shirt sleeves
24:27and I'm in my overcoat in a wheelchair?
24:29I'm afraid we're out of overcoats and wheelchairs at the moment.
24:33Give us a hand, Ray.
24:41Give us a hand, Ray.
25:04Yeah, right now.
25:20Now, Miss Brown, I want you to take as long as you like.
25:22Is there anyone here amongst these men that you recognize?
25:26Hmm.
25:47That's the man.
25:48That's the man who accosted me and asked me if I wanted a good time in his motor.
25:53How dare you, madam?
25:55I asked you if you knew where I could find good time motors.
25:59It's not looking good, you know.
26:00It's not looking good at all.
26:02Not looking good?
26:03Are you seriously suggesting I go around chatting up members of the Derby and Joan Club?
26:08I've got a business appointment.
26:12I hear the committee set up an emergency meeting.
26:14Well, what's Arthur's arrest got to do with the Motor Traders Association?
26:17You've got to consider the implications, John Boy.
26:19Indeed.
26:20This could lead to his expulsion, you know.
26:22I've never known Arthur behave in any way other than completely correctly.
26:26He always doffs his hat when he sees me.
26:28Doffing hats is one thing.
26:29Sexual offences is quite another.
26:31You're right there, Mel.
26:32Sex and the Motor Trade don't mix.
26:34Bad image.
26:35Sex and Arthur Daly don't mix either.
26:38You've never seen him with other women.
26:40You shouldn't jump to conclusions.
26:42Well, I don't know.
26:43Maybe he's having his midlife crisis.
26:45Yeah, well, as far as I'm concerned,
26:47Arthur Daly is innocent until he tells me he is guilty.
26:50I dare you, but you're not the judge, are you?
26:53I am here, mate.
26:55You're barred.
26:57Go on, swing your hook.
26:58Go on, swing your hook.
28:08Right, that's it.
28:11Arthur!
28:13I think you need to see a doctor.
28:15Better still, a psychiatrist.
28:16And you're going to have to get a medical report for the court.
28:18You're quite right, Ray, but you've forgotten I've already got one.
28:20I'm not talking about your leg.
28:21Up here, Arthur, up here.
28:23What's you going on about?
28:24Arthur, you've been going...
28:26Will you?
28:37Sid, come on in.
28:38I can't stop now, Arthur.
28:39Just dropped by to tell you not to bother with the cooker hoods and the lamppost.
28:43I've made other arrangements.
28:44Oh, that's a pity, because I've found a likely source for the cooker hoods.
28:47Ed, come on in anyway.
28:48I want to talk to you about giving evidence for me in court.
28:50I suppose you heard what happened.
28:51Yes, as a matter of fact, I have.
28:53I want you to go in the witness box and tell them why I was in the Waterloo area that
28:56night.
28:57How you tipped me off about the damelight.
28:58I can't do that, Arthur.
29:00But that's why I got out of the car.
29:01I thought I saw what you were after.
29:03I wasn't after anything in Waterloo.
29:05Yes, you were.
29:05Victorian flute, an octagonal panel.
29:07You've got to keep me out of this, Arthur.
29:08This will ruin my business.
29:10I can't help you.
29:10I'm sorry.
29:11Ed.
29:15You're going to need some professional help, Arthur.
29:17They can put you away for this, you know.
29:19Well, as long as they do it before her indoors comes back from Cromer.
29:24Bring the chair in.
29:27Yeah, all right then, but just a half.
29:30Mr Lockwood, is there anything I can do for you, sir?
29:33Yes, there is.
29:34My client, Arthur Daly, would like you to give evidence on his behalf.
29:39Mr Lockwood, would you kindly tell your client to get knotted?
29:43He thought that might be your response.
29:46It's a subpoena directing you to attend the trial of Arthur Daly.
29:52You've got to hand it to him, sir.
29:53He's got more front than Woolworths.
29:55And there's one for you.
30:01Well, there you are, Ray.
30:02He's locked up and gone out.
30:03Not to worry.
30:04No, Dave.
30:06He's locked himself in.
30:07Been refusing to come out all day.
30:09He's finally twigged that he can actually go down for this one.
30:14Come on.
30:15A.
30:16E.
30:18I.
30:19O.
30:20O.
30:21A.
30:22E.
30:23See what I mean, Dave?
30:24O.
30:25Yeah, right, right.
30:26I think he is on a turn.
30:28O.
30:28O.
30:29And there.
30:29E.
30:30I.
30:31O.
30:32O.
30:33Arthur.
30:34Got a nice little surprise for you.
30:36Thought you might like some Meals on Wheels.
30:39Oh, Dave.
30:41You're a good friend.
30:43Young Raymond thinks I'm on the turn.
30:44He's been trying to get me committed.
30:46Well, tell him about your little trips up the West End then, Arthur.
30:48My trips up the West End are nobody's business but mine.
30:50Please remember that.
30:51Did he tell you about Sid?
30:52Yeah.
30:52After all the gear I put his way?
30:55Judas.
30:55Don't worry about Sid, Arthur.
30:57He ain't worth it.
30:58I'll tell you straight, Dave.
30:59I can't go into the Winchester.
31:00I bet the saloon bar jury is already calling for me to be undrawn and metrically quartered.
31:05Not at all, Arthur.
31:07Well, tell him.
31:08Tell him, Dave.
31:09Tell me?
31:10Tell me what?
31:11Well, it's a little surprise we've arranged for you.
31:13The night after your case finishes.
31:15It's a gesture of solidarity, Arthur.
31:17Well, everyone on the man is going to be there.
31:19Beware.
31:20Taj Mahal.
31:21Well, he does a lovely bindlew.
31:23All of them.
31:24All of them.
31:25Oh, I'm touched, Dave.
31:27I'm deeply touched.
31:29You've given me new hope in humanity.
31:32Ah, it's nothing, Arthur.
31:34They said they'd give me the deposit back if you get sent down.
31:39Cheers.
31:41Mr. Daly, let me appeal to you.
31:44Even at this eleventh hour, even though your trial is tomorrow,
31:47I'm sure I could find you an excellent barrister.
31:49Mr. Lockwood, I am not going to go down
31:52just because some overpaid mouthpiece made a pig's ear of it.
31:55I shall defend myself.
31:57Any luck in locating the proprietor of good time motors?
32:01We're having one last try.
32:06Well, medical reports, statements, I think we're as ready as we can, but...
32:10Oh.
32:12No, there is one rather delicate matter I think we should discuss.
32:17Raymond mentioned to me these...
32:20How shall I put it?
32:21These, er, little trips of yours to the West End.
32:26Let me urge you to plead guilty and throw yourself on the mercy of the court.
32:31Erm, work, strain, stress, that sort of thing.
32:35Stress.
32:36I don't want to hear another word about my trips up west.
32:39My right to privacy is being violated.
32:41And Raymond is well out of order.
33:08You've got a nerve, showing up here.
33:11Mr. Morley, whatever else you might be,
33:14in my experience, I've never thought that you were being bent.
33:17Here there, Phil.
33:18A testimonial.
33:19You wouldn't want to see an innocent man suffer, would you?
33:22Not normally, no, but in your case, I'm tempted to make an exception.
33:25I'd just like to run over the areas I should be questioning you about in court tomorrow.
33:30Perhaps your young friend could take notes.
33:33Apart from you, Daly, I don't want to run over anything.
33:36The only reason we're going into that witness box tomorrow
33:38is because we have no option.
33:40In that case, I have no alternative
33:42but to ask the court to treat you both as hostile witnesses.
33:46Don't be so bloody silly, Daly.
33:48You can't treat your own witnesses as hostile.
33:50And don't worry, we will be.
33:55I hope they've got a wheelchair lamp before the open prison.
33:58One began here, Arthur.
34:00I don't put sex cases in over, Nick.
34:02I am a victim of unfortunate circumstances.
34:05I am not a sex case.
34:07Well, if you're not, what are all those little trips up west for, then?
34:09Look, I don't know what you're talking about.
34:10Just leave me at the court that is dealing with Regina versus Daly.
34:13Right, then.
34:15I'll have one last crack at finding that, Tony.
34:17We're in this one.
34:20Regina versus Daly.
34:21You should come to this.
34:23Me taking on her in Plunkhouse.
34:25We're in this one.
34:38You should come to this one.
34:43There you go.
34:57Yes, serving to numerous complaints from the public,
35:00we had set up a surveillance team in the area.
35:02On the night of the 14th at 9.30pm,
35:05while I and other officers were parked in an unmarked car,
35:08I saw the accused driving very slowly towards us.
35:11I had previously observed him passing the same area twice,
35:15between 9 and 9.30pm.
35:39Can I help you?
35:40Sorry, mate, for a minute I thought you were somebody else.
35:43Looking for a car dealer called Tony.
35:45Supposed to have a business around here somewhere called Good Time Motors.
35:48I'm Tony, and this is Good Time Motors.
35:55So why does it say Simpson Antiques outside?
35:58Previous owner, mate.
36:00I never got around to changing the sign.
36:04Now what can I do for you?
36:08And you have been unable to trace this so-called Good Time Motors
36:12from where he claimed he wanted to buy a car?
36:15No, ma'am.
36:16Good Time Motors?
36:17Yes, sir.
36:19That's with two hours, your worship.
36:20I'm obliged, Mr. Daly.
36:23What, if anything, did you find in the accused's car?
36:26A half box of cigars and three groves of French red light bulbs.
36:31Did he say French red light bulbs?
36:32Yes, sir.
36:34Sixty watts, your worship.
36:35Soissons quads.
36:37Thank you, Mr. Daly.
36:38But is that entirely relevant to the issues before this court?
36:41It was very relevant to my customer.
36:44Excellent.
36:44Excellent.
36:45Well done, Raymond.
36:46I take it you're willing to give evidence on behalf of Mr. Daly?
36:49It'll be a pleasure, squire.
36:51Good.
36:51If you'll be kind enough to wait here.
36:55Hey, Tom, if Arthur comes, look in here.
36:56Tell him I'll be back.
37:00Yes, red light bulbs are the normal means of illumination
37:03in brothels and houses of ill repute.
37:05Oh, nice one.
37:06Nice one.
37:07Something else you wish to add, Mr. Daly?
37:09In the fullness of time, your worship.
37:11In the fullness of time.
37:12And you found how many in his car, officer?
37:15Just under three gross, sir.
37:17All French?
37:18Yes, sir.
37:30And French mistress, second floor, two rings.
37:34A French mistress, you say?
37:36Yes, sir.
37:38Forty-five minutes later, the accused emerged.
37:40He stopped to fasten his tie and put on his overcoat.
37:43From subsequent inquiries,
37:45were you able to ascertain the occupations of these women?
37:48I object for these questions.
37:50This is character assassination.
37:52What have my activities in Soho got to do with my arrest in Waterloo?
37:55Unless I'm mistaken, Mr. Daly,
37:56the prosecution are attempting to establish a pattern of behavior.
38:01And what is the occupation of these women?
38:04They're all unemployed, sir.
38:07They all have convictions for soliciting, sir.
38:11That is the case for the prosecution, sir.
38:21And on this occasion, what was it exactly that I told you?
38:26Father, after I ask for you this time,
38:29could you buy something for you?
38:39It says you sold him three grosses of French red light bulbs,
38:42and that if he doesn't get them pretty damn quick,
38:45there'll be no good for Chinese New Year celebrations.
38:50How much longer am I going to be kept waiting here?
38:53I've got work piling up on my desk.
38:55I should be out catching criminals,
38:57not even testifying on behalf of one.
39:04Mr. Harris,
39:05for that's me.
39:11Now, Mr. Harris,
39:13would you please tell the court
39:15how many times
39:18you attempted to ring
39:20directory inquiries
39:21in order to ascertain
39:23the phone number
39:24of the proprietor
39:26of Good Time Motors?
39:27Certainly, Mr. Daly.
39:30I rang them about
39:31a dozen times.
39:39Just give me a minute.
39:40Can you still go down on time?
39:42Yes, it is.
39:43Will you get in there
39:44and tell Daly to call me?
39:45I want to get out of here.
39:46Get a taste of what it's like
39:47on the other side of the fence,
39:48are we, Mr. Morley?
39:53What's up, Daly?
39:54What's up, Daly?
39:54What's up, Daly?
39:55You must be told me
39:57you're more elusive than Lord Luke.
39:58Oh, that's right.
40:00Tony Ply.
40:01Thanks for coming.
40:02You did well to...
40:04What are you doing here?
40:06Oh, Ray Moran
40:08asked me to testify.
40:10No, Ray.
40:11No, under no circumstances.
40:13I do not know this gentleman.
40:16He can shed some light
40:17on Arthur's little trips
40:17up the West End, Mr. Lockwood.
40:19Well, then you must call him,
40:20Mr. Daly.
40:21His testimony on that aspect
40:23had a profound effect
40:24on the bench.
40:25When are you going to call me, Daly?
40:27Oh, later, Mr. Morley,
40:28later on.
40:28I'm grappling with
40:29profound aggravation.
40:31Gentlemen?
40:32Well, he must go back now
40:33that's court, isn't he?
40:34Mind your feet, Constable.
40:43I'm just going to have to call him, Arthur.
40:45I'm not going to call him
40:46on that side.
40:49I'll call Tony Blythe.
40:53We've got a case conference
40:55coming up
40:55in less than an hour.
41:01I'm going to go and find it
41:02and tell him we'll be delayed.
41:20But you did indeed have a damel at the cell?
41:22Yes.
41:25Oh, by the way,
41:26have you still got the damel?
41:27I'm afraid not now.
41:29I knocked out someone else.
41:31Before this happy event,
41:34were you driving the damel
41:36round the Waterloo area
41:38on a number of days?
41:39Oh, yeah.
41:41It's a lovely motor.
41:49Where's Sergeant Lawley?
41:51Well, he's vanished.
41:52So is he having a copper?
41:53Well, this man's waiting
41:54to give evidence.
41:55What's your name?
41:57Ashley Silverman.
41:58What?
42:13Who's this?
42:14Ashley Silverman, sir.
42:16Very well, Mr Silverman.
42:17Will you please go into the witness box
42:18and take the oath?
42:22Simon?
42:22I'll have you for this.
42:23Mr Daly!
42:25You can walk.
42:26You're walking.
42:29It's a sign, my lad.
42:32It's a sign.
42:35Have they been calling me?
42:36Is it my turn?
42:37It was, but you've missed it.
42:39Looks like you're going to have to wait
42:39a little bit longer, Mr Morley.
42:43You do realise
42:44that when I get in the witness box,
42:46I'm going to destroy that man,
42:47don't you?
42:48I'm going to do him so much damage,
42:50he's not going to get a heavy fine.
42:51He's going to go down.
42:53I'm going to put a stop to him
42:54once and for all.
42:56Now, Mr Silverman,
42:57would you tell the court
42:58your qualifications
43:00and your profession?
43:02Certainly.
43:06I have an MA,
43:08a diploma in music.
43:10I'm a lecturer
43:11at the Fetter Academy of Dramatic Art,
43:14and I also give private lessons
43:17in speech-making
43:18and voice production
43:19at my Soho studio,
43:22where you have been
43:23one of my pupils
43:24for nearly five weeks.
43:29But what I'd like to know,
43:31Mr Daly,
43:31is why you'd not previously
43:33given the particulars
43:34of this witness to the police.
43:35You realise
43:36it would have thrown
43:37a quite different interpretation
43:39on your visits to Sarah.
43:40Perhaps I could answer that,
43:42Your Worship.
43:42Ashley Silverman
43:44is but one of my
43:45many theatrical names.
43:47In a previous
43:48happier incarnation,
43:50I was known
43:51as Irving Ashley.
43:53The Irving Ashley?
43:56Where is he?
43:58I remember seeing you
44:00at Stratford-upon-Avon.
44:01Oh, yes.
44:02With Larry and John.
44:05I went to see him
44:06in a desert song.
44:07I took her indoors.
44:08Brought tears to my eyes.
44:09Oh, how kind.
44:12Regretably,
44:13those starry days
44:14are long past.
44:16Now, to eke out
44:18a humble living,
44:19I've been obliged
44:19to resort to my
44:20current occupation.
44:22When Mr Daly
44:24came to me
44:25for private tuition
44:26in speech-making
44:28and voice production,
44:30he recognised me immediately.
44:32I begged him
44:34to keep my little secret.
44:36I was fearful
44:38of publicity
44:39and ridicule.
44:43He readily agreed.
44:46But you've now
44:47volunteered to give
44:48evidence on his behalf?
44:50When his young assistant,
44:53Raymond,
44:54came and explained
44:55the matter to me,
44:56I felt it was
44:58the least I could do.
45:00As Sidney Carton said
45:02on the way
45:04to his final haircut,
45:06it's a far, far
45:07better thing I do
45:08than I have ever
45:09done before.
45:11If,
45:12if you like,
45:13Mr Daly,
45:14I could run through
45:15one or two
45:15of the exercises
45:16that we did together.
45:18Oh, yes.
45:20Oh, no.
45:21Oh, no.
45:23Oh, no.
45:26Oh, no.
45:26Oh, no.
45:27Oh, no.
45:27Oh, no.
45:28Oh, no.
45:29Sir,
45:29I wish to withdraw
45:30all charges
45:31against the accused
45:32and offer him
45:33the most profound
45:34apologies for the
45:35appalling ordeal
45:36he has undergone.
45:37I should think so, too.
45:39Mr Daly,
45:40you leave this court
45:41without a stain
45:42on your character.
45:43I award your
45:44full costume.
45:46Now, this case
45:46should never have been
45:47brought,
45:48and would not have been
45:49brought,
45:49without the investigating
45:51officers jumping to
45:52the most extraordinary
45:53conclusions,
45:54based on mere
45:55circumstantial evidence.
45:57Case dismissed.
46:00The court will rise.
46:07How about that, then?
46:09Congratulations,
46:10Mr Daly.
46:10Thank you very much.
46:13You realise you've made me
46:15the laughing stock
46:15of the entire manner,
46:16don't you?
46:17When word gets out,
46:18I'll be having lessons
46:18to speak properly.
46:19I won't be able to go
46:20into the winchester
46:20without being greeted
46:21by a chorus of
46:22Lorraine in Spain,
46:23going mainly down the drain.
46:24Yeah, but why were you
46:25doing it?
46:26Look, if England
46:27footballers can cop
46:28500 quid tax-free
46:30every night for a bit
46:31of public chat,
46:32so can I.
46:33I was going to join
46:33the after-dinner
46:34speaker circuit.
46:35This has been
46:36very embarrassing.
46:41What's going on, Daly?
46:42I'm waiting to be called.
46:43Mr Morley,
46:44many are called,
46:44but few are chosen.
46:45Come on, Ray,
46:46I'll buy you a drink.
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