- 1 day ago
First broadcast 23rd November 1978.
George is surprised and then delighted when young Bill Albright, son of the recently deceased Rosie, approaches him with evidence that he is George's long-lost son, conceived on V.E. Night.
Yootha Joyce - Mildred Roper
Brian Murphy - George Roper
Norman Eshley - Jeffrey Fourmile
Sheila Fearn - Ann Fourmile
Nicholas Bond-Owen - Tristram
Jeremy Bulloch - Bill Albright
Tony Melody - Ernest Groves
Jean Rogers - Jenny
Richard Shaw - Landlord
Robert Michaels - Boy in Pub
Ursula Granville - Clerk
Jay McGrath - Pub Patron
Peter Roy - Pub Patron
George is surprised and then delighted when young Bill Albright, son of the recently deceased Rosie, approaches him with evidence that he is George's long-lost son, conceived on V.E. Night.
Yootha Joyce - Mildred Roper
Brian Murphy - George Roper
Norman Eshley - Jeffrey Fourmile
Sheila Fearn - Ann Fourmile
Nicholas Bond-Owen - Tristram
Jeremy Bulloch - Bill Albright
Tony Melody - Ernest Groves
Jean Rogers - Jenny
Richard Shaw - Landlord
Robert Michaels - Boy in Pub
Ursula Granville - Clerk
Jay McGrath - Pub Patron
Peter Roy - Pub Patron
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00.
00:00.
00:01.
00:03PIANO PLAYS
00:41Mildred!
00:43Home is the Hunter.
00:46Hello, Moby.
00:47You dance back.
00:50I'll give out 30 tickets a day.
00:5231 if you count the Rolls Royce parked on two metres.
00:54Keep your voice down.
00:56I stuck a ticket on both ends.
00:58It's never been done before.
01:00Why?
01:00Well, Tristram's doing his homework.
01:02Well, he can't hear me next door.
01:04He's in our kitchen.
01:05Anne's taken the baby to the clinic.
01:06Oh, I booked his dad today.
01:08Four miles.
01:10Yeah.
01:11He had to come rushing out the barbers with his hair all wet.
01:14George, he's a friend.
01:16Not anymore.
01:16You should have heard his language.
01:18You are drunk with power.
01:20Why don't you go and book Anne's pram?
01:21Oh, don't be silly, Mildred.
01:22I'm off duty now.
01:24Right, what's for dinner?
01:27I want you to try something new.
01:29Oh, my God.
01:31Osobuco.
01:32Who?
01:33Knuckle of veal.
01:34I'm not eating knuckles.
01:36You will be if you don't try it.
01:38Right, now.
01:39It'll be ready in half an hour.
01:40Oh, dear.
01:42Where are you going?
01:43I'm off to the pub to numb me taste buds.
01:46Half an hour, or I'll be...
01:48Oh, hello, love.
01:50Oh, you having trouble?
01:52I'm looking for the lowest common denominator.
01:55Oh, er...
01:56He's just gone to the pub, dear.
01:59Yeah, I booked 31 today.
02:01That's my best yet.
02:02Oh, yeah.
02:03Look, do your coat up while I ain't here.
02:05We don't want any violence.
02:09There's no need for that attitude.
02:12Ah, hello, son.
02:13Nice evening.
02:15Are you talking to me?
02:17Oh, don't be like that.
02:18That was this afternoon when I was on duty.
02:20I mean, no, it's this evening.
02:21We're all mates together.
02:22Mates?
02:23Well, I was only obeying the orders, you know.
02:25That's what Goering said.
02:26Oh, yeah?
02:28I don't know, Ian.
02:29Must be from another district.
02:34Evening.
02:35Er, half a special, please.
02:36All right.
02:37Is there a Peacock Crescent round here?
02:40Yeah, it's first on the left.
02:43George Roper.
02:44Yeah, that's right.
02:45Do you know him?
02:45Bald, runty fellow.
02:47Is he?
02:47Never buys a round.
02:49Yeah, that's him over there.
02:51The yellow peril.
02:52And that is my opinion of you.
02:55And what do you think of that?
02:56Yeah, well, some people might be offended by the phrase arrogant little twerk.
03:00Well, I know you didn't mean it unkindly.
03:02How do I get through to him?
03:04Yeah, so why don't we all have a nice, friendly drink, eh?
03:06Show there's no hard feelings.
03:07Mine's a Scotch.
03:10Excuse me.
03:11Mr Roper.
03:12Yeah, that's me.
03:13George Roper.
03:14Used to live in Lascar Street, hadn't he?
03:16Oh, yeah.
03:16Oh, yeah.
03:17That's right.
03:17You're not from the HP company, are you?
03:19No, no.
03:21My card.
03:21That's who I am.
03:23Plumber?
03:24Plumber?
03:25I don't think I know you, do I?
03:26No, no, that's me job, not me name.
03:28Oh, no.
03:29Look, let me sit down for a minute.
03:30Oh, yeah, right.
03:33I don't need any plumbing.
03:35No, it's not about that.
03:36Look, did you know a Rosie Albright?
03:40Back in 1945 in Hackney.
03:41Rosie Albright?
03:44Oh, yeah, Rosie.
03:45Little fat girl, big ooter on her.
03:47She was me mother.
03:50Yeah, well, ooter wasn't all that big.
03:51A bit like yours, really.
03:53Oh, so she got married then, did she?
03:55No.
03:56Oh, yeah, well, there's no shame in it these days.
03:59I mean, you've been a barb...
04:00By the way, how is Rosie?
04:03She's dead.
04:03Oh, good.
04:05Eh?
04:06A couple of months ago.
04:07Oh, yeah, well, these things are often meant for the best.
04:11Good night, son.
04:12Of course.
04:14Quite a job tracking you down.
04:16You know, I've moved around a lot.
04:17Oh, yeah, well, I had to, see, on account of the HP.
04:21Why have you been looking for me?
04:22Did Rosie leave a will?
04:23No.
04:23Oh, but she did leave this, so I found it amongst her things.
04:26A diary?
04:27Yeah, that's right.
04:28You see, she'd never tell me who my father was.
04:30Always change the subject when I asked.
04:31The only thing she told me was it happened on VE night.
04:34Yeah, well, I ought to be going now.
04:35May the 8th, 1945.
04:36Would you like to read what she wrote?
04:38No, no, no, no, it's very kind of me.
04:39Went out with George Roper.
04:41It finally happened.
04:42Exclamation mark.
04:44Now I am a woman.
04:45Two exclamation marks.
04:52What are you implying, eh?
04:54I think that's pretty obvious.
04:56Dad.
05:00Question seven.
05:02Where does most of our coffee come from?
05:05Well, most of mine comes from Tesco's, dear.
05:07Oh, well, I don't suppose they mean that, do they?
05:10No, I think they mean which country.
05:13Oh, yes.
05:15Here.
05:15Wait a minute.
05:16I did know.
05:23Brazil.
05:24Brazil.
05:28Rubber.
05:29That'll be Malaya, dear.
05:31No, I spelt Brazil wrong.
05:36Oh, hello, love.
05:38Hello, Milford.
05:38Are you going to bring the prime in?
05:40I'll leave it outside.
05:41He's asleep.
05:41Oh, well, let's hope George doesn't see it.
05:43Otherwise, you'll have a toad away.
05:45Milford.
05:46How's the homework coming on?
05:48Slowly.
05:49Mrs Ryber's been helping me.
05:52Well, I'm sorry.
05:53I'm afraid geometry's not my strong subject.
05:56Geography.
05:57Ah, that explains it.
06:00Yeah, well, of course I remember being...
06:02I mean, everybody does.
06:03I don't.
06:04No?
06:05Oh, yeah, well, you weren't born...
06:08Yeah, well, I remember being with Rosie,
06:11but, I mean, we, well, we didn't do things.
06:14I remember the whole evening very clearly,
06:17up to the fourth point.
06:18It finally happened.
06:20I wonder what it means.
06:21Well, I don't know, do I?
06:22Perhaps I held her hand.
06:23And I was born nine months later.
06:25You've got a very passionate hand.
06:27Now, look here, son.
06:31When I say son, I mean, I've called everybody son.
06:34Hey, wait a minute, we weren't alone.
06:35There was another couple with us, yeah.
06:37Ernie, a mate of mine, and his what's name?
06:39He's a girlfriend.
06:40Yeah, I clearly remember them being with us.
06:42Up to the fourth point?
06:43Up to the fourth point.
06:44This is ridiculous, ridiculous.
06:46I mean, you don't even look like me.
06:48Well, I mean, I've got the moustache,
06:50and you've got...
06:52Oh, my God.
06:53I don't want anything off you, you know.
06:56What?
06:56I was just curious to see what me dad looked like.
06:58Well, it's natural enough, isn't it?
07:00Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.
07:01Well, maybe see if I had any brothers or sisters.
07:03Oh, no, no, no, nothing like that.
07:05I mean, me and Mildred, we...
07:06Mildred?
07:08So, it's blackmailed, is that it?
07:09Oh, God.
07:11Maybe I was right, I shouldn't have come.
07:12Hey, no, hang on.
07:13No, don't rush off like that.
07:14Oh, God.
07:15Yeah, perhaps you'd better rush off.
07:16Look, you need time to take it in.
07:18Now, you've got me phone number if you want to give me a ring?
07:19Oh, yeah, all right.
07:20Well, cheerio, Dad.
07:22Oh, yeah, cheerio.
07:24Now, look, George, I did say half an hour.
07:27The dinner is ruined, and I've...
07:30Did he say Dad?
07:31Yeah, well, I don't know.
07:36It's ridiculous, George.
07:38I mean, don't tell me you believe him.
07:40Well, I did go out with her that night, I remember.
07:42Yes, I know, but you a father?
07:44Oh, come on.
07:47Well, it could happen, Mildred.
07:49I mean, it must have been the drink.
07:50I don't go in for that sort of thing when I'm sober.
07:52Not often, no.
07:54He was a nice-looking lad, wasn't he?
07:56Red hair and that.
07:57Oh, I really didn't see him, George.
07:59You know, I didn't...
07:59Not properly.
08:00Yeah, quite handsome, in fact.
08:01Oh, well, that settles it.
08:02He's definitely not yours.
08:04Go and wash your hands for dinner.
08:07Hey, Mildred.
08:08Yeah?
08:09You're, uh...
08:10You're jealous, aren't you?
08:12Don't be silly.
08:13Well, just because you haven't got a son
08:14doesn't mean that I can't have a son.
08:17You are talking yourself into believing it.
08:19Well, stranger things have happened.
08:20I mean, this young fellow, uh, what's his name?
08:23I mean, he might well be, uh, uh...
08:24Yeah, Bill.
08:25There I see.
08:25He might well be my boy, Bill.
08:30George, if you had done anything,
08:32you'd have remembered.
08:34I mean, you know, the flags are in out.
08:36A brass band, a parade.
08:38Church bells would have been ringing.
08:40They were.
08:41That was V-E night.
08:43Yeah, but even so, I mean...
08:45Hey, Ernie, and what's his name?
08:47Uh, his girlfriend.
08:48Now, they were with us.
08:49Now, Ernie, I remember.
08:50Yeah, he was a bank clerk in Acne.
08:52Um, Ernie, uh...
08:53Oh, well, what was his name?
08:54My Osabuco!
08:55I know, he was English.
08:58Groves!
08:59Yeah, Ernie Groves!
09:02Come in.
09:04Mr. and Mrs. Roper, sir.
09:06Ah!
09:07Do come in, please.
09:08Hello, Ernie.
09:09Hello.
09:10Take a seat.
09:11Oh, thank you.
09:12Ah.
09:13Ah, you've done very well for yourself, Ernie.
09:15Oh, er...
09:18Don't call me Ernie.
09:20Ernest, if you must.
09:21But better still, Mr. Groves.
09:23You see, I wouldn't like it to get about amongst the staff
09:25that I have a first name.
09:27Oh!
09:29Yeah, right, well, this is my Mrs. Mildred.
09:32Charles.
09:32How do you do?
09:33How do you do?
09:34Well, quite a surprise when you telephone.
09:37It must be all of 30 years or more.
09:39Still, always glad to welcome new customers.
09:42Oh, no, no, no, we're not customers.
09:44Oh.
09:44No.
09:45No.
09:46You see, why we've called is that...
09:48Well, George thinks he has a son, and I don't.
09:54Oh, yes.
09:55Well, er...
09:57Surely you would recall, if you had one, I mean.
10:00I haven't!
10:02Well, that seems pretty conclusive.
10:04Yeah, but I have, see.
10:05Well, I mean, I may have.
10:06Look, Ernie, just one question.
10:07Do you remember what happened on VE night?
10:10VE night?
10:11VE...
10:12Oh, yes, I do.
10:14Oh, yes.
10:19Oh, my word.
10:21Oh, that was a night...
10:22No, no, I don't remember again.
10:27Oh, come on, Ernie.
10:29There was me, Rosie Albright, you, and, er, what's the name?
10:33Doris.
10:33Yeah, Doris.
10:34Yeah, with skinny legs, a bit prim and proper.
10:36Face like vinegar.
10:38I wonder what happened to her.
10:40It's my wife.
10:43Oh, yeah, well, she's very nice.
10:45Now, look, this Rosie Albright, now, her son's turned up.
10:48He claims that George is his father.
10:50Yeah, Bill, his name is, er, Bill.
10:52Yeah, handsome lad.
10:53Oh.
10:54He does not remember what happened that night.
10:56No, he doesn't.
10:56He says he was drunk.
10:58I mean, do you remember what happened that night?
11:00Well, I do remember one thing.
11:02What?
11:02Excuse me.
11:14He was drunk.
11:17I remember we all went back to Rosie's place,
11:19and Doris and I, we had a cup of tea and a fig newton.
11:25Go on.
11:26Well, George and Rosie, they, er, er, I did not see anything of an immoral nature.
11:33You didn't?
11:34No.
11:35You both shut the bedroom door behind you.
11:40Well, you see, Doris, she, she didn't approve of that sort of thing.
11:46Still doesn't, as a matter of fact.
11:50So we left.
11:51George, what have you done?
11:54Oh, and one more thing.
11:55As we left, I remember, the church bells started ringing.
12:03APPLAUSE
12:06APPLAUSE
12:39Yeah, well, that seems pretty conclusive, wouldn't you say, Mildred?
12:43George, I can't read a book with you chattering.
12:46Well, you can't read it upside down anyway.
12:50Something's upset you, hasn't it?
12:53Just a little, yes.
12:54Is it because I wouldn't eat your Aussie buco?
13:00You have a 33-year-old son.
13:03Oh, that.
13:04I have nothing.
13:05Yes, you have.
13:06You've got your little dog.
13:07He like your Aussie buco.
13:11It's what I've always wanted.
13:13A child.
13:14Yeah.
13:15It's funny how life goes, isn't it?
13:17I've always wanted a pair of roller skates.
13:21And now it's too late.
13:23Oh, yeah, it is.
13:23I haven't got the balance anymore.
13:27George, invite him round.
13:29You know, I want to meet him properly.
13:31Oh, yeah, right.
13:31I'll do that.
13:32Not now.
13:33Come on.
13:40You called him what?
13:42An arrogant little twerp.
13:44It has a sort of ring to it, don't you think?
13:45That's not fair.
13:46But it's true.
13:47Yes, but it's not fair.
13:48He was only doing his job.
13:50All right.
13:50He's a professional arrogant little twerp.
13:53Well, I think an apology is in order.
13:55I agree, but he'll never give me one.
13:58Good evening, Sid.
13:59Good evening.
13:59Half a bitter and a bottle of sherry, please.
14:01In the same glass?
14:03Oh, no, no, no.
14:05No, the sherrys will take it home.
14:07A special occasion tonight.
14:09Oh, evening.
14:11We're neighbours, Geoffrey.
14:12I have to get along with them as well.
14:14All right, I'll withdraw the little.
14:15He's medium-sized.
14:17Just for my sake.
14:18I'm not asking you to apologise.
14:20Just say you're sorry.
14:21Well.
14:22Evening.
14:23Special occasion tonight.
14:25Mr Roper, I have something to say to you.
14:29Oh, I...
14:30I'm sorry you're an arrogant little twerp.
14:35Apology accepted.
14:37Hey, I've got my son coming round for dinner.
14:39Oh, good.
14:41Your son?
14:44Oh, what have you bought?
14:45Oh, a Montelado.
14:47Oh, yes, they always make a very nice sherry.
14:52I miss quite a lot, you know,
14:54him growing up without me knowing.
14:55Yes.
14:56Sixteen years' child allowance for kick-off.
14:58Yes, George.
15:03Well, speaking as his stepmother...
15:05You what?
15:06Oh, yeah.
15:07I suppose you are in a sort of way.
15:10Not your flesh and blood, of course.
15:12No, George.
15:13No, not the same thing at all.
15:14Nothing to do with you, in fact.
15:16Oh, sorry, you were saying?
15:18No, nothing.
15:21Oh.
15:22Right, now, Mildred,
15:24I don't want you letting me down.
15:25Come on, say hello nicely and be pleasant.
15:33Ah, hello, son.
15:34Ah, er, come in this way.
15:36That's right, er, down there.
15:39Um, go and sit down and make yourself a dome.
15:42Er, this is, er, my wife, Mrs Roper.
15:45Hello.
15:45Hello.
15:46I'm sure this must have been a bit of a shock to you.
15:48Er, me, I mean, turning up like I did.
15:50Well, yes, in a way, you know.
15:51Oh, not so much you being your son,
15:53but, er, him being your father.
15:57Yeah, right, er, Sherry's?
15:59Oh, yeah.
15:59Yeah, I've got a nice amount of lardaladaloo here.
16:02Yeah.
16:03Right, well, sit down, son.
16:05Oh, son.
16:08Well, now, tell me all about yourself.
16:11What have you been up to?
16:12Er, since when?
16:13Well, since you were born.
16:16There we are.
16:17That's it.
16:18Right.
16:19Now then.
16:22What, er, what have you been up to, then?
16:24Well, er, after I was born, I went to school.
16:29Oh, thank you, dear.
16:31Thanks, Dad.
16:32Then I left school and became a plumber.
16:34Oh, yeah, fascinating.
16:36Oh, dear.
16:36Oh.
16:39What about yourself, then?
16:40Oh, we got married about 25 years ago, you know,
16:43and, er, not a lot has happened since then.
16:48No.
16:49Er, you were never married?
16:50Oh, yeah.
16:51Yeah, about a couple of years ago, Jenny.
16:52Oh, well, I've got a daughter-in-law, eh?
16:54Yeah, and we've got a little nipper, Amanda.
16:57Oh, my granddad.
17:03It's a ghastly thought, Anne.
17:04A second generation of ropers.
17:07Well, not all children grow up like their fathers.
17:09Oh, yes, they do.
17:10Oh, no, they don't.
17:12Ours are quite nice.
17:13His son will probably have another son, and so on, and so on.
17:16The streets will be thick with them,
17:17sticking tickets on people's cars.
17:19You're quite handsome when you're paranoid.
17:22It must have been a bit of a shock, though.
17:24I mean, imagine you're in a pub,
17:25and a perfect stranger comes up to you
17:26and says he's your son.
17:28Excuse me, Dad.
17:29Dad?
17:31I just want to get through at the bar, that's all.
17:34Ah.
17:38Ah, yeah.
17:39Those were the good old days.
17:41Oh, it's hot.
17:43Of course, you wouldn't remember the war.
17:46No.
17:47Very nice meal, Mrs Roper.
17:49Oh, thank you.
17:50Yeah, there used to be an air raid shelter in Lascar Street.
17:52Well, that's where I first met your mother.
17:53Oh, really?
17:54Well, not so much met.
17:56I saw a name and phone number on the wall.
17:58George.
17:59Do you have a photograph of my step-granddaughter?
18:02Not on me, no.
18:03Yeah, I've been thinking about that.
18:04I'm not so sure about Amanda.
18:06I think Georgina would be in a better name.
18:09Yeah.
18:09Yeah, anyway, let's get back to the wall.
18:11Yeah.
18:11I've still got my Russian book.
18:13That'll interest you.
18:14Well, actually, I ought to be going.
18:16I always like to tuck her in last thing at night.
18:17Oh.
18:18Well, I do hope we see you again.
18:20Again?
18:21Oh, yeah, yeah.
18:22Bound to.
18:23Bound to.
18:23Well, I'll say cheerio.
18:24Yeah.
18:25I've got a bit of shrapnel here, too, somewhere.
18:27Now is a very good time to leave before he starts doing his impressions.
18:30You know, thumpf and Colonel Chinstrap.
18:33Oh?
18:33Oh, never mind, love.
18:34Come on.
18:36Yeah, here we are.
18:37See?
18:38Got nasty markings on it.
18:40Worth a few marbles, that.
18:42Oh, hey, look.
18:43Tommy Hanley.
18:45It's that man again.
18:46It's that man again.
18:48I don't mind if I do.
18:51This is thumpf speaking.
18:54Can I do you now, sir?
18:56Don't forget the diver.
18:58Don't forget the diver.
18:59You've got to laugh, haven't you?
19:01Yeah, but he called it.
19:02Yeah, but he called it.
19:04Well, he won't be calling again, for that for sure.
19:06What?
19:07He's gone.
19:08Oh, cheerio, son.
19:10Yeah, he was a nice lad, wasn't he?
19:12I think he could have done without the information that his mother used to be known as Nosy Rosie.
19:17Well, I thought it'd give him a little laugh.
19:19And all your war stories.
19:21Come on.
19:22Never have so few been bored by so many.
19:25Hey, look.
19:26He's left his lighter.
19:28I'll leave it, Mildred.
19:29What?
19:29Yeah, I'll take it round tomorrow.
19:31Be a chance to see the nipper.
19:36Oh, yes?
19:48I'd like to have a word with Bill Albright, please.
19:50Oh, I'm afraid he's out.
19:52He should be back soon, now.
19:53Oh, my name's Roper.
19:56George Roper.
19:56I expect he's mentioned me.
19:58Are you the man with the sewage backflow problem?
20:03Do you think I could probably wait for him, please?
20:05Oh, yeah.
20:06Yeah, I suppose so.
20:10Would you, um, like a cup of tea?
20:13Oh, yeah.
20:13Thank you for...
20:14Oh, baby, eh?
20:16Yes.
20:18How about that, then?
20:20Amanda.
20:20Oh, you're Amanda, yeah.
20:23Oh, well, you sit down.
20:25I'll, er...
20:26I'll put the kettle on.
20:27All right, thank you.
20:29Oh.
20:29Oh.
20:31Hello.
20:32Yeah?
20:33Hello.
20:33Oh, yeah.
20:34It's nice, isn't it?
20:35Here, here, I've got something else for you.
20:36Look.
20:38There you are.
20:39Isn't that nice, eh?
20:42Here.
20:43I'm your granddad.
20:46See, I'm tough.
20:48Here, listen, we can play together, can't we?
20:51Kick the can, knock down Ginger.
20:54Here.
20:55I'll teach you to play darts.
20:58Kettle's on.
21:00Oh, making friends, is she?
21:02She's good at that.
21:03Yes.
21:04Come on, Maddy.
21:05There's a good girl.
21:07Ah.
21:09There we are.
21:10It's, er, time for her afternoon nap.
21:12Oh, I see.
21:13All right.
21:13Well, bye-bye, then.
21:15Bye-bye.
21:17Bye-bye.
21:17Bye-bye.
21:18Bye-bye.
21:31Oh, hello, son.
21:34Oh, hello.
21:35Yeah.
21:35You've been working, have you?
21:36Well, not exactly.
21:37I've just been up the solicitors, tidying up my mum's papers and that.
21:40Oh, yeah.
21:41It's a sad business, that, isn't it?
21:42Yeah.
21:43The thing is, Mr. Roper...
21:45Oh, come on.
21:46Please, Dad.
21:47No.
21:50What do you mean?
21:51Well, according to this document, my mum was paid a tenner a week for the first 16 years
21:55of my life.
21:56Ten quid?
21:57Yeah.
21:57And that seems like it was paid by me dad.
21:59No, I didn't pay that.
22:00Oh, no, you didn't.
22:02He did.
22:04I deny it flatly and emphatically.
22:07You can't prove it.
22:08And even if I did, I didn't mean to...
22:10To...
22:11Oh, God, it's all true.
22:14Yeah, but I mean, what you told me...
22:16I know, I know.
22:17I know what I told you, but...
22:19Oh, you were with Doris that evening.
22:22Yes, well, she left.
22:23I mean, you know what she's like?
22:25Prim and proper.
22:26Face like vinegar.
22:28Oh.
22:30Yeah, well, I don't remember her leaving.
22:33No, you were sleeping it off in the meter cupboard.
22:36Oh.
22:37So, er, you and, er, Rosie?
22:40Well, we decided there was only one fitting manner in which to celebrate the triumph of
22:45our gallant lads in Europe.
22:48That makes you his father?
22:50Yes.
22:51Oh.
22:52I would have married a George, but by the time I found out, Doris was in the same condition.
23:02Go on.
23:04I'm not his father.
23:05And she was more acceptable to the bank.
23:08Yeah, but why didn't you tell me when I came round?
23:10I panicked.
23:11I panicked.
23:11I mean, the board of directors, George, they don't approve of...
23:16Fornication at branch level.
23:19Yeah, but even so.
23:21Well, you know now, and you must be quite relieved to know that it's...
23:25He's not yours.
23:28Oh, yeah.
23:30Yeah.
23:33Oh, look at it this way, George.
23:35I mean, what you've never had, you've never missed.
23:41Well, I'm not bothered, really.
23:44It doesn't worry me.
23:44Well, it doesn't worry me.
23:46Well, there's no reason why it should.
23:47He wasn't your son.
23:47He wasn't yours either.
23:49No.
23:51It was quite nice, really, being a dad for a day or two.
23:55Yes.
23:58Mildred?
23:59Yeah?
23:59I was reading in a paper the other day.
24:01There's this woman in Russia who had a baby at the age of 56.
24:08Oh, yeah?
24:09Yeah.
24:11Mildred?
24:11Yeah?
24:14Do you fancy an early night?
24:15No.
24:19Not now, George.
24:22I've got a headache.
24:23LAUGHTER
24:26APPLAUSE
24:27APPLAUSE
24:41Bye.
24:43Bye.
24:43Bye.
24:43Bye.
24:44Bye.
24:56crest
24:57Scott
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