Turned Out Nice Again. (1941 film)

deaddogsdam

George, an employee at an outdated underwear company, invests in a revolutionary thread.  George Formby - George Pearson Peggy Bryan - Lydia Elliott Mason - Mrs. Pearson (as Elliot Mason) Edward Chapman - Uncle Arnold O.B. Clarence - Mr. Dawson Mackenzie Ward - Gerald Dawson Ronald Ward - Nelson John Salew - Largos Grace Arnold - Shop Customer Wilfrid Hyde-White - Removal Man Mike Johnson - Man with Telescope Aubrey Mallalieu - Irate Customer Hay Petrie - Drunk Michael Rennie - Diner Bill Shine - Singing Diner Jack Vyvyan - Removal Man  Director - Marcel Varnel

Transcript

00:00:00The End

00:00:39The End

00:01:05There's the article. Examine it yourself.

00:01:08It's one of the gross marked on your invoice Quality A.

00:01:10I repeat, examine it yourself.

00:01:12You see, the article itself is marked Quality A.

00:01:14There's been a mistake somewhere.

00:01:16You're right. There has been a mistake somewhere.

00:01:18I can't sell goods like that. I'll have to go to McKinley's.

00:01:21McKinley's? I hope there's no question of that.

00:01:23Certainly not, sir. I'll get to the bottom of this myself.

00:01:25You can rest assured that the matter will be attended to.

00:01:28My son will see to it. Now, if you'll excuse me.

00:01:31Tell Mr. Pearson to come here, please.

00:01:34See, Mr. Pearson.

00:01:36Mr. Pearson.

00:01:38See, Mr. Pearson.

00:01:40Don't bother me.

00:01:41Mr. Pearson. Mr. Pearson.

00:01:43Oh, darn it.

00:01:45Mr. Pearson.

00:01:47Mr. Pearson.

00:01:50What's it do?

00:01:51Will you come over here? It keeps on breaking.

00:01:54It's the 50th time today.

00:01:57Mr. Pearson, just a minute. Now, listen.

00:01:58Mr. Pearson, no, Mr. Pearson, you must go.

00:02:01Mr. Pearson.

00:02:02Mr. Pearson wants you in his office.

00:02:04You better hurry.

00:02:05Mr. Pearson.

00:02:06Oh, the bus wants me.

00:02:08Mr. Pearson.

00:02:12Sign for these, will you please, sir?

00:02:13I haven't much down here.

00:02:18I must apologise for the delay, sir.

00:02:20I'm a busy man.

00:02:21I'll go and find him myself, sir.

00:02:23Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

00:02:25How dare you waste this gentleman's time.

00:02:26And can you explain this?

00:02:29Well, that's funny.

00:02:31It's made of grade B yarn and it's marked grade A.

00:02:33Exactly. This garment is one of a gross supply to mandolin rigs, one of our most important and valued customers,

00:02:39if not the most important.

00:02:40Oh, well...

00:02:41No excuses. I demand that you apologise personally.

00:02:45By myself?

00:02:46Yes.

00:02:47Oh, well, I'm sorry, sir, that it happened, but...

00:02:50That will do, Pearson. I hope you'll accept the apology, sir. We will replace the order immediately, of course.

00:02:55In that case...

00:02:56Good day, sir.

00:02:57Good day.

00:02:58Good day.

00:03:00We all make mistakes, you know.

00:03:03Me? No, I...

00:03:04That's all right, Pearson. I'll deal with you later.

00:03:06Good day, sir.

00:03:07Good day. Good day.

00:03:08Good day.

00:03:10Now, the first thing is to find out who's responsible for this.

00:03:13Well, I've nothing to do with it.

00:03:14Well, nobody said you had.

00:03:17Well...

00:03:17Is Mr. Nelson in his office, please?

00:03:19Bring those models over here, will you?

00:03:22Hello, Nelson. Come to my office immediately, please.

00:03:30You want me, sir?

00:03:31Ah, Nelson, who checked out this last order for mandolin rings?

00:03:34Oh, uh, Pearson, of course.

00:03:37Oh, don't interrupt.

00:03:38But surely, as overseer, you should have done it yourself.

00:03:41Well, I do usually, sir, but in this case, Pearson did it.

00:03:45But...

00:03:46In fact, it was out and checked before I knew it, Mr. General.

00:03:49Shut up, Pearson.

00:03:51Will you stop that yawning? It's intolerable.

00:03:53Now, who supervises the markings?

00:03:55Oh, this is certainly Pearson's work.

00:03:58If you don't stop yawning, you'd better leave this office.

00:04:01Yeah, but...

00:04:01And stop talking!

00:04:05Hmm, I thought so.

00:04:06Inferior yarn has been...

00:04:07Yarn, sir.

00:04:08Yarn has been used in this order.

00:04:09And we've been charged at the top price for the best grade.

00:04:12That means we've been cheated as well as our customers.

00:04:14What have you got to say for yourself, Pearson?

00:04:15Well, sir, it could have only been me or Mr. Nelson that did it.

00:04:19Well, that's fairly obvious, isn't it?

00:04:20And it couldn't have been me, sir,

00:04:21because by the date of the entry,

00:04:23I was away on my old days at Blackpool.

00:04:25Eh?

00:04:25And look, here's the muck they're trying to spin now.

00:04:28It's snip-snap all day long.

00:04:29There's more time wasted mending yarn than spinning it.

00:04:33So this is the stuff they're spinning now,

00:04:35for that big Garfield order,

00:04:36which we particularly wanted grade A in every respect.

00:04:40Nelson, you did issue this yarn, didn't you?

00:04:42Yes, I did.

00:04:42Knowing the specifications should be grade A?

00:04:44Yes.

00:04:45And no doubt you charge us grade A

00:04:46and pocket the rest for yourself, eh?

00:04:49All right, I guess you win.

00:04:50I know I do.

00:04:50All right, you can get your hat and go.

00:04:52And the quicker, the better.

00:04:57Um, sorry, Mr. Nelson.

00:04:58Oh, don't worry, I'm going straight to McKinley's now.

00:05:00There'll be a change to work for a live firm

00:05:02set up a bunch of dodos.

00:05:04Dodos?

00:05:05Darson's dodos?

00:05:06Chairman, please.

00:05:07Uh, what is a dodo?

00:05:09You'll be one yourself if you don't stop talking.

00:05:11Hello, Father?

00:05:13Well, about that mandolin rigs order.

00:05:15Yes, it was Nelson.

00:05:16Good heaven.

00:05:16He's been cheating the firm.

00:05:18Yes, look.

00:05:18He'd have to go, of course.

00:05:19It won't be easy to replace.

00:05:21Don't worry, Father.

00:05:22I'll take care of the personnel.

00:05:23That's my job.

00:05:25And I've got some ideas on the subject, too.

00:05:27Here.

00:05:30Pearson, you've been doing most of Nelson's work lately, haven't you?

00:05:34Well, I suppose I am, in a way.

00:05:36Well, I'm going to give you a trial.

00:05:41As overseer?

00:05:42Why not?

00:05:42You know the work.

00:05:43I think you can manage.

00:05:45Overseer's wages?

00:05:46But of course.

00:05:47Oh, Mr. Dental.

00:05:49Oh, you don't know what this means to me.

00:05:51I didn't expect this for years.

00:05:52Oh, I'm going to faint.

00:05:54Me, overseer.

00:05:55I'll work for you 24 hours a day.

00:05:57I'll work.

00:05:59There's the whistle.

00:06:00There's somebody I've got to tell about this.

00:06:01Good night, Mr. Dental.

00:06:03Good night, love.

00:06:08Lydia, let me in.

00:06:09I've got some grand news for you.

00:06:11Lydia, hurry up.

00:06:11Open the door.

00:06:12All right, all right.

00:06:13Lydia, I've got to make some bribe.

00:06:16Hold on, let's hold on.

00:06:18Where's Lydia?

00:06:19She's in the parlour.

00:06:21Lydia, Lydia.

00:06:23It's happened, it's happened.

00:06:24What's happened?

00:06:25I'll give you two guesses

00:06:26and if you lose a big cuddle.

00:06:27Then I wouldn't try to guess.

00:06:29What is it, George?

00:06:30Well, at the factory.

00:06:32Yes?

00:06:32Mr. George Pearson has been made overseer.

00:06:35I don't believe it.

00:06:36Hey, you can please yourself.

00:06:37It's true, I've been made overseer

00:06:38with the rising wages.

00:06:40Now, we can both get married,

00:06:41go to Blackpool on our honeymoon

00:06:42like we've always wanted to do.

00:06:43Oh, George!

00:06:47Oh, Uncle, me and Lydia are getting married.

00:06:49Well, I'm right glad to hear it, lad.

00:06:50I'm sick of spending all my evenings in kitchen.

00:06:52Ah, well, you won't have to in future.

00:06:53We shall be going to much longer.

00:06:55No, so aren't we?

00:06:56Well, you know what I mean.

00:06:57Now, go and get your things on

00:06:58as quick as you can and we'll celebrate.

00:07:00Don't be long.

00:07:01Isn't it marvellous, Uncle?

00:07:02Me and Lydia at last.

00:07:03Ah, I suppose now you're sitting up together,

00:07:04you'll be taking your pigeons with you, will you?

00:07:06Oh, the pigeons?

00:07:07Aye.

00:07:10I can have them at my own place now.

00:07:12Well, if you didn't,

00:07:12I'd still be glad to look after them for you.

00:07:14Well, aren't you still going to?

00:07:15Well, I thought with you and Lydia getting married,

00:07:17you wouldn't want a third party in Taos.

00:07:19Hey, that's all right, Uncle.

00:07:20Lydia and me have settled that a long time ago.

00:07:22Oh, you're going to stay with us until you're in work again.

00:07:25Yeah, sure.

00:07:26That's right.

00:07:27Good of you, lad.

00:07:28Hey, that's all right, Uncle.

00:07:30Any signs of a lane yet?

00:07:31No, I can't make it out.

00:07:32I was thinking of writing to Feathered World,

00:07:34only I don't know how to put it.

00:07:35Oh, that's easy.

00:07:36I'll dictate it for you.

00:07:37Oh.

00:07:38I may as well get me hand in

00:07:39in case they promote me again.

00:07:40Aye.

00:07:42Are you ready?

00:07:43Aye.

00:07:45Dear sir.

00:07:47Dear sir.

00:07:49Re, my two fan-tailed pigeons.

00:07:51How do you spell re?

00:07:53Ah, re?

00:07:54What's it mean?

00:07:55Well, it means, you've seen it, they'll know.

00:08:00Eh, re, my two fan-tailed pigeons.

00:08:03One is male, and the other is, eh,

00:08:07of the corresponding persuasion.

00:08:10Christmas, couldn't we say one is male and to the female?

00:08:13Aye, well, go on if you prefer it.

00:08:15Well, I do for reasons of spelling.

00:08:17Eh, I mean, I can't get them to...

00:08:23No, wait a minute.

00:08:27They, they don't seem to like...

00:08:30Each other?

00:08:31No, Arnold, no.

00:08:35They show very little inclination.

00:08:38Very little?

00:08:39The blight has shown none at all.

00:08:40Be quiet, Arnold.

00:08:41You bother me.

00:08:42It's our job, is this?

00:08:43Yes, they, they won't.

00:08:47I can't.

00:08:48Are you sure this is not too soon to write?

00:08:51Perhaps they haven't had long enough.

00:08:52I've had a 12-month, that's plenty.

00:08:54Eh, it ought to be.

00:08:56Eh, well, what have you got now?

00:08:58Eh, dear sir.

00:09:00Re, my two fan-tailed pigeons.

00:09:02One is male, and the other female.

00:09:04I can't get them to...

00:09:07Hey, that'd almost do as it is.

00:09:09Oh, do you mean it doesn't make sense?

00:09:10Of course it does.

00:09:12Listen, I can't get them to.

00:09:14Full stop.

00:09:17Oh, aye.

00:09:19George, I'm ready.

00:09:21Hey, Lydia, you look proper champion.

00:09:23I'd like to tell the whole girl we're gonna get married.

00:09:25How about telling your mother first?

00:09:30Oh, mother.

00:09:32Dibbles, pickles, Miss Gibbs.

00:09:34Yes, Willie's looking for them.

00:09:35Hurry up, Willie.

00:09:37What, Miss Gibbs?

00:09:39Did you?

00:09:40George and Lydia last night at the pictures.

00:09:44Oh, no.

00:09:45Nothing like that.

00:09:46My George always says if there's any girl he's sweet on, it's me.

00:09:53Now, you go in and break the news, and I'll come in a minute.

00:09:59Hello, mother.

00:10:01Get back early, George.

00:10:02Yes, tell me, how are you feeling today, mother?

00:10:05Very well, thank you.

00:10:06Why?

00:10:06Well, I've written news for you.

00:10:08Oh?

00:10:09You see, it's like this, mother.

00:10:11Pin of crab, please.

00:10:12Two gas mantles and three pallets of bicarbonate of soda.

00:10:15What's your news, George?

00:10:17Oh, it's nothing urgent.

00:10:19That'll be one and six, please.

00:10:22Oh, good day.

00:10:23The fact is, mother...

00:10:24That reminds me, George, I must get in some more gas mantles.

00:10:27We're running out.

00:10:28Yes, mother.

00:10:29Well, what I was going to say was...

00:10:33Hello, Lydia.

00:10:34Hello, Mrs. Pearson.

00:10:36I hope you're pleased.

00:10:38Pleased?

00:10:38Well, we've waited so long that now we are going to be married.

00:10:41I can hardly believe it.

00:10:43Married?

00:10:44Georgia, haven't you...

00:10:46Well, mother, I was going to tell you, see,

00:10:48at the factory I've got to raise him wages enough to get married on.

00:10:51Oh, oh, me aunt.

00:10:53Mother, you're all right now.

00:10:55Oh, I can't help it.

00:10:56It's me aunt.

00:10:57What is it to do?

00:10:58Get her into the back room.

00:11:01Mind them gas mantles.

00:11:03That's all we have.

00:11:04Oh, dear.

00:11:06Sorry, we're shut.

00:11:08Put you down here.

00:11:09Yes.

00:11:11Oh, I'm all right, George.

00:11:13It's just the shock losing me only son.

00:11:15Oh, not a snuff, thought.

00:11:16Oh, you haven't lost a son, mother.

00:11:17You've gained a daughter, hasn't you, Lydia?

00:11:19I'll make him a good wife, Mrs. Pearson.

00:11:21And we'll always be pleased to see you.

00:11:23Well, I hope George will.

00:11:25When I think the day he was born,

00:11:27I was four and a half hours under chloroform.

00:11:29Oh.

00:11:30Oh.

00:11:31What's to do, mother?

00:11:32Oh, it's the pain round here.

00:11:35My mother died of heart failure.

00:11:37It might be best that way.

00:11:38No, it's not as bad as that.

00:11:39The only thing's wrong with you is you want to change.

00:11:41You want to go away somewhere.

00:11:42You want to be rid of me?

00:11:44No, mother, it's not that.

00:11:45But we shall be going away in our honeymoon.

00:11:47And if it'll do you right good, you can come with us.

00:11:50Oh, George, can I?

00:11:51Yes, can't you, Lydia?

00:11:55All right, George.

00:11:56I'll tell you where we go, George.

00:11:57We'll go to Morecambe.

00:11:58I've never been to Morecambe.

00:12:00Have you, Lydia?

00:12:04Morecambe.

00:12:31Morecambe.

00:12:43I've never been to Morecambe.

00:12:46I've never been to Morecambe.

00:12:48I've never been to Morecambe.

00:12:49I've never been to Morecambe.

00:12:50I've never been to Morecambe.

00:12:52I've never been to Morecambe.

00:12:54I've never been to Morecambe.

00:12:57I've never been to Morecambe.

00:12:58Quack, quack.

00:13:36Quack, quack.

00:14:04Quack, quack.

00:14:33Quack, quack.

00:15:10Quack, quack.

00:15:13Quack, quack.

00:15:15Quack, quack.

00:15:45Quack, quack.

00:15:48Quack, quack.

00:16:24Quack.

00:16:32Quack, quack.

00:16:58Quack, quack.

00:17:01Quack, quack.

00:17:08Quack, quack.

00:17:28Quack, quack.

00:17:58Mrs. Pearson, from Upton's.

00:18:05Is that from Upton's?

00:18:06Yes.

00:18:06Oh, thank goodness it's come in time.

00:18:08More extravagance, I suppose.

00:18:10It's a queer way to celebrate your anniversary.

00:18:12Spending money you can't afford, but it's no business of mine.

00:18:15What?

00:18:16Oh, no.

00:18:17It's a surprise for George.

00:18:19An evening dress complete.

00:18:20I saw it advertised.

00:18:21But he's not going to wear that tonight at the party.

00:18:24Why not?

00:18:25It's ridiculous.

00:18:27Trying to live above your station, it's our purchase, I suppose,

00:18:30like everything else in the house.

00:18:31I paid for it myself out of my savings.

00:18:34If I can help George get on in the world, I'm going to.

00:18:36He won't always be an overseer.

00:18:38Lydia!

00:18:39Uncle!

00:18:40What is it, George?

00:18:41What's happened?

00:18:42It's the factory.

00:18:42I've got to leave at once.

00:18:43Oh, George, you haven't got the sack.

00:18:44No, no, nothing like that.

00:18:45But I've got to get packed up quick.

00:18:46Train goes now for an hour.

00:18:47Uncle!

00:18:47Train?

00:18:48Where to?

00:18:49London.

00:18:49London?

00:18:50Ah, it's the underwear exhibition.

00:18:51You see, the chap that usually does it has been taken ill.

00:18:53I've got to take charge of Dawson's stall.

00:18:55Oh, but George is the party.

00:18:56It's our anniversary.

00:18:57Yes, I know, love.

00:18:58I told Mr Gerald that, but he said to me that if I was...

00:19:01Eee, what's this?

00:19:02Just a present for you, but it'll keep till you come back.

00:19:05What?

00:19:05A present from you to me?

00:19:06Oh, thanks, love.

00:19:07It's grand.

00:19:08Just the thing for London.

00:19:08Come on, help me pack it up.

00:19:10Arnold, ring for a taxi.

00:19:11I've only got 28 minutes.

00:19:12Oh, but George wanted to talk to you about Pigeon.

00:19:14Nay, don't tell me she started laying.

00:19:15No such look.

00:19:16Do you know, if I wasn't going away, I'd try her with a different husband.

00:19:19Couldn't Arnold do that?

00:19:20No, Mother, it must be a pigeon.

00:19:28Come on, ladies and gentlemen.

00:19:30Sunset song, the very latest vogue in Enoch.

00:19:33Using elastic ruching.

00:19:35Josephine, the nightgown for tonight and every night.

00:19:40Thank goodness it's the last day.

00:19:41Talk about flops.

00:19:42Better not let Mr Pearson hear you.

00:19:44Well, what can he expect with Dawson selling things like these and McKinley's over there?

00:19:48Dream time.

00:19:50McKinley's Streamline.

00:19:51The very latest in sheer silk slumberware.

00:19:55And now, ladies and gentlemen, for the beach.

00:19:57Los Angeles.

00:19:58The all elastic play suit.

00:20:01Blue and white.

00:20:02For fresh, cool stripes.

00:20:04Blue and white.

00:20:05Do you think you can manage?

00:20:07Don't see why not.

00:20:07I'll go and round up the girls.

00:20:08Excuse me, pardon me.

00:20:10Pardon me.

00:20:10How about music?

00:20:11Don't worry, I'll look after that.

00:20:13La champi.

00:20:14Always dressed with taste in a dressing gown of piquet chenille.

00:20:18Excuse me.

00:20:19Come along girls, through to the back and off with your clothes.

00:20:21What's the big idea?

00:20:22Mr Pearson's orders.

00:20:23Come along now.

00:20:24Come along.

00:20:25Come along.

00:20:26And now yet another of McKinley's innovations.

00:20:28The negligive.

00:20:29On and off in a moment.

00:20:32Roll up folks, roll up.

00:20:33Don't bother about the other people.

00:20:34If you want the best selection in town.

00:20:36We've got it.

00:20:36Now listen to me.

00:20:37Please don't go, ladies and gentlemen.

00:20:39Don't go.

00:20:40I repeat the negligive is the last word.

00:20:41When your boyfriend calls on Sunday.

00:20:44And you want to look your best.

00:20:46Won't you wear a wool and undies.

00:20:48Then you'll know you're properly dressed.

00:20:50You can't go wrong in these.

00:20:52They fit from neck to knees.

00:20:55They're soft to wear.

00:20:56But they're hard to tear.

00:20:57So you can't go wrong in these.

00:20:59If you want to have a figure.

00:21:02That's the envy of the town.

00:21:04Then you'll find our stays de rigueur.

00:21:06Never let our customers down.

00:21:08So you can't go wrong in these.

00:21:11They're fastened up with keys.

00:21:13They'll keep you straight like a two inch plate.

00:21:15So you can't go wrong in these.

00:21:17If a girl is young and flighty.

00:21:19Silk pyjamas now she wears.

00:21:22Yet a real old flannel nighty.

00:21:24Is as good as seventeen pairs.

00:21:26So you can't go wrong in these.

00:21:28They'll stop the coldest breeze.

00:21:31If you can't sleep tight on a windy night.

00:21:33Well you can't go wrong in these.

00:21:44If you want to buy a brassiere.

00:21:46Won't you have a look at ours.

00:21:48Though the others may be classier.

00:21:50And be covered all over with flowers.

00:21:53Still you can't go wrong in these.

00:21:55They're not made to please.

00:21:57But they'll see you through.

00:21:59Cause they're stuck with glue.

00:22:00So you can't go wrong in these.

00:22:02Now a lot of you have aunties.

00:22:04And when Christmas comes along.

00:22:06You must never give them panties.

00:22:08For they like them woolly and strong.

00:22:11So you can't go wrong with these.

00:22:13They'll fit without a squeeze.

00:22:15They'll go round your ant or a gas work plant.

00:22:17So you can't go wrong in these.

00:22:19If you like a mild flirtation.

00:22:22And your sex appeal is dead.

00:22:24Have a look at your foundation.

00:22:26And if it's beginning to spread.

00:22:28Well you can't go wrong in these.

00:22:30There won't be room to sneeze.

00:22:33But they'll shift the fat from your bottom flap.

00:22:35So you can't go wrong in these.

00:22:57Well he's certainly got them.

00:22:59For the moment yes.

00:23:02Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen.

00:23:04And now I'm...

00:23:05Now ladies and gentlemen.

00:23:05Having listened to my assistants.

00:23:07And had your laugh at the underwear of yesterday.

00:23:08What?

00:23:09I shall be happy to take your orders.

00:23:10For the underwear out of today.

00:23:11This way ladies and gentlemen.

00:23:12To McKinley's.

00:23:12Straight through the arts.

00:23:13Don't take any notice.

00:23:14They've got nothing to do with me.

00:23:15Ladies and gentlemen.

00:23:16For other firms.

00:23:17Don't go away.

00:23:18Not obliged.

00:23:19Hey what do you mean by taking away my customers.

00:23:21They're looking at my goods.

00:23:21Not yours.

00:23:22Oh no they weren't old man.

00:23:23They may go for that all right.

00:23:24When it comes to one days.

00:23:25McKinley's is the firm.

00:23:26So long.

00:23:27People.

00:23:27Everybody come back.

00:23:28Please.

00:23:29Excuse me.

00:23:32Yes miss.

00:23:32What is it?

00:23:33Uh.

00:23:33Well.

00:23:34May I come in?

00:23:36Come in?

00:23:37Wait.

00:23:37Yes.

00:23:38Come on.

00:23:38In.

00:23:38Come on.

00:23:41Uh.

00:23:41Now what can I show you?

00:23:43Well.

00:23:43I don't know.

00:23:44Don't worry.

00:23:45I'll find out.

00:23:48Now look.

00:23:48This night is very tempting.

00:23:50I mean at the price.

00:23:51No.

00:23:51No?

00:23:52Well.

00:23:52Just a minute.

00:23:55Now look.

00:23:55These are very strong.

00:23:56You can't go wrong in these.

00:23:58I'm sure I couldn't.

00:24:00Uh.

00:24:00Haven't you something a little lighter in weight?

00:24:02A little lighter in weight.

00:24:03Now let me see.

00:24:04Had me hands on a pair only this morning.

00:24:06I know.

00:24:07I've got the very thing for you.

00:24:09Now look.

00:24:10I'd like to see you in these.

00:24:11I mean.

00:24:12Well.

00:24:12Have a look yourself.

00:24:14I'm afraid.

00:24:15Don't go away.

00:24:21I don't think McKinley's a bit sorry I joined them.

00:24:23Carry on Miss Herbert.

00:24:24I'll be a minute.

00:24:27Hello, Gus.

00:24:28Just a minute.

00:24:28No, Nelson.

00:24:29I can't stop.

00:24:29I have some business to do.

00:24:30I dare say they can wait.

00:24:31This new yarn of yours.

00:24:32You trying to swindle me out of 300 quid?

00:24:34My dear Nelson.

00:24:35There's a fortune in it for you.

00:24:36The sole English manufacturing rights for 300 pounds.

00:24:39I met a friend of mine on the textile side and he tells me that this won't make up.

00:24:42I've already had it made up in Switzerland.

00:24:43The firm said it was okay.

00:24:44What firm?

00:24:45I don't know.

00:24:46I've dealt with so many.

00:24:47I think you're swinging one over on me.

00:24:49My dear Nelson.

00:24:50Do I look the sort of man to swindle a friend out of 300 pounds?

00:24:53Yes.

00:24:54Hello, Largus.

00:24:56Hello, old man.

00:24:56Sorry I can't stop.

00:24:57I'm in rather a hurry.

00:24:58You know him?

00:24:59I'll say.

00:25:00Biggest crook in the business.

00:25:01Jipped me out of a packet last year.

00:25:02He did?

00:25:03Yes.

00:25:03They say there's a mug born here for a minute.

00:25:05Yes.

00:25:06Yes.

00:25:07If you can find one.

00:25:08Reinforced down there.

00:25:09And it's reinforced down there.

00:25:11And it's double reinforced down there.

00:25:13And all around here.

00:25:14Mavis!

00:25:15Oh, there you are at last.

00:25:18What are you doing here?

00:25:19Oh, nothing.

00:25:20But I've been waiting for hours.

00:25:21And I simply had to sit down somewhere.

00:25:24Good afternoon.

00:25:25Look.

00:25:26The reinforced.

00:25:30Hello, Pearson.

00:25:31How things?

00:25:32None the better for your monkey tricks.

00:25:34Oh, you're not still taking your pens, are you?

00:25:36Honestly, old man, you haven't got a hope with this stuff.

00:25:38Come and see the lines I'm running.

00:25:41These newfangled ideas come and go, but Dawson's gone forever.

00:25:44Oh, by the way, going with anyone to the exhibitors' dinner tonight?

00:25:47If not, why not join me?

00:25:48No, I was going to go straight home.

00:25:49What?

00:25:50Nonsense.

00:25:50As Dawson's representative, you must go to the dinner.

00:25:52Old man Dawson would be livid if he didn't.

00:25:55Well, in that case, I'd better.

00:25:56That's it, Olsen.

00:25:57Who will you bring with you tonight?

00:25:58I don't know anybody.

00:26:00Well, I'm taking Miss Abbott.

00:26:01Miss Abbott, Mr Pearson.

00:26:01You'd better take Miss Wood.

00:26:03That's a very good idea, Miss Wood.

00:26:05Yes.

00:26:05This is Mr Pearson.

00:26:07How do you do, missus?

00:26:08He wants to know if you'll go to the dinner with him tonight.

00:26:10I shall be too delighted, definitely.

00:26:39You'll have champagne, Pearson?

00:26:41Champa...

00:26:41Well...

00:26:42Of course he'll have champagne.

00:26:43Oh, but you might.

00:26:48You're helping.

00:26:50Skin off your nose.

00:26:51Bottoms up.

00:26:51Oh, well, if it comes to that.

00:26:53In me mouth, round me gums, look out stomach, here it comes.

00:26:55Well, I'm going to get the

00:27:00Oh.

00:27:00Uh-huh.

00:27:02Eh.

00:27:02Isn't it nice and gushy?

00:27:03Hmm.

00:27:05Eh, look at them girls dancing in their underclaws.

00:27:08Isn't it a scream?

00:27:10I've never seen anything like that.

00:27:12He'll tell us next that Dawson's don't make underclaws.

00:27:14Well, they don't, not like that anyway.

00:27:16I say they don't.

00:27:17And quite right, too.

00:27:22Look at the cheeky fuss cuts dancing in the knickers.

00:27:24They're what?

00:27:26Well, bloomers.

00:27:28Who said bloomers?

00:27:30Well, drawn.

00:27:33Well, what's funny about that?

00:27:35That's what we call them.

00:27:36Well, in London, they're called panties.

00:27:38Or scanties.

00:27:39Or steppin.

00:27:40Oh, fancy.

00:27:41And do you, I mean, do everybody wear them?

00:27:44Well, more or less.

00:27:48There couldn't be much less.

00:27:49They're very nice, though.

00:27:51I wouldn't mind taking a pair home for the wife.

00:27:53Are they expensive?

00:27:54Well, I'm afraid those would come very high.

00:27:57Oh, I'll wait till they come down, then.

00:27:59In price.

00:28:08Oh, look.

00:28:09There's Bill and Ted.

00:28:10They want us to dance.

00:28:11If you all excuse us.

00:28:12It's a pleasure.

00:28:13I don't see them.

00:28:14Where?

00:28:14Yes, you do, stupid.

00:28:16No, I don't.

00:28:16Come on, bright eyes.

00:28:20Well, it's just as well they've gone.

00:28:22There's something I'd like to show you.

00:28:23Here?

00:28:24Pearson, you're a pretty good judge of yarn.

00:28:26I know a bit when I see it.

00:28:27What do you think of that?

00:28:30Gee, it's grand if it'll make up.

00:28:32Make up, Pearson.

00:28:33I know yarn.

00:28:34You know yarn.

00:28:34I tell you, there's nothing to touch it on the market.

00:28:36And you know what?

00:28:37The rights could be bought for 300 pounds.

00:28:40300 quid?

00:28:41Yes, just think of it.

00:28:42The sole English manufacturing rights for 300 pounds.

00:28:45I wish my contract with McKinley's was different.

00:28:48I'd buy to be a millionaire in a year.

00:28:51Millionaire?

00:28:51Yeah.

00:28:52By the way, how's your contract with Dawson's?

00:28:56Contract?

00:28:56Yes, mine says I can't branch out on my own.

00:28:59If I do, they sue me.

00:29:00Did you all say that?

00:29:01Well, no, it's...

00:29:02Pearson, don't tell me you haven't got a contract.

00:29:04Not exactly.

00:29:05Well, of all the luck in the world.

00:29:07Pearson, you've got to take over those rights.

00:29:08Oh, no, I've got...

00:29:09No, no, I won't take no for an answer.

00:29:10Give me 300 pounds at the rights of yours.

00:29:12You can raise 300 pounds, can't you?

00:29:14Well, yes, just about.

00:29:16But I shall have to talk to my wife first.

00:29:18Oh, that's a pity.

00:29:19There's someone else here after, Jizzy.

00:29:20Still leave it aside now.

00:29:22I'll take your IOU and you can send me a cheque when you get home.

00:29:24What do you say?

00:29:25Uh, has this stuff been made up?

00:29:27Yes, by a firm in Switzerland.

00:29:29Did they say it was okay?

00:29:30Largus, the man who owns the patent, says it's marvellous.

00:29:33Ah, but have you checked up on them?

00:29:35Waiter?

00:29:35Yes, sir.

00:29:35Bring me another bottle of this.

00:29:36No, I don't have any more of that stuff.

00:29:38The answers.

00:29:39Another bottle.

00:29:39Let it go, sir.

00:29:40Here, come in.

00:29:42What did they say in Switzerland about it?

00:29:46Well...

00:29:46Hey, who's had my drink?

00:29:48You had it yourself.

00:29:49There's some more coming.

00:29:50That man you were just dancing with,

00:29:51isn't he the man who handles British textiles?

00:29:53What?

00:29:54Oh!

00:29:55Oh, yes, he's down here on a big deal.

00:29:57I'd like to have a word with him.

00:29:58Wait a minute.

00:29:59Will he wait till I telephone the wife?

00:30:00Will he have to make his name?

00:30:01I don't want to miss that man.

00:30:02I'll do it right now.

00:30:12Have you got a change of half a gram, please?

00:30:13Sure.

00:30:14And have you got a peppermint?

00:30:15Sure.

00:30:17I've got to talk to the wife.

00:30:19Can you talk to the wife?

00:30:21Poor fellow.

00:30:22I'll stand by him.

00:30:24I'll stand by him.

00:30:33Hello?

00:30:35Hello?

00:30:35Is heart matter?

00:30:36I don't know.

00:30:37I can't hear very well.

00:30:38Hello, Lydia.

00:30:39Is that you?

00:30:40Well, this is me.

00:30:41George.

00:30:41It's George.

00:30:43What's the matter?

00:30:43No, there's nothing the matter, but I rang up because there's something serious.

00:30:46It's all right, lady.

00:30:47Stop, Mrs. George.

00:30:49Go away.

00:30:49What's she say?

00:30:50I can't make out.

00:30:51Something serious.

00:30:52What's happened?

00:30:54George, you're not in hospital.

00:30:55No, no, but I'm in a bit of a fix.

00:30:58Don't believe you're worried, sir.

00:30:59It's all right.

00:31:00Go away.

00:31:01There's someone else on the line.

00:31:02George, are you in jail?

00:31:04Oh, what's she done?

00:31:05Shh, shh, shh.

00:31:06No, he says he's not in jail.

00:31:07What have you rung up for at this time of night?

00:31:10Well, I've got all of her lovely yarn.

00:31:12You haven't got me out of bed to tell me a funny story.

00:31:14Here, let me have a go, look.

00:31:17Well, I can get sole rights for 300 pounds.

00:31:19Anyway, for England.

00:31:20Hooray for England.

00:31:22I don't know what he's talking about.

00:31:23He says he's going to play for England.

00:31:24I think he's tight.

00:31:25Here, give that to me.

00:31:26Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:31:27Oh, there's a noise on the line.

00:31:29Hiccups, most likely.

00:31:31Hey, George.

00:31:31I cleaned out the pigeons this morning.

00:31:33Go away, Arnold.

00:31:34I want to talk to Lydia.

00:31:35Lydia?

00:31:36Is that Lydia?

00:31:37Yes, it is Lydia.

00:31:38He's all right, Lydia.

00:31:39It's stone cold shovel.

00:31:41Hello, Lydia.

00:31:41I'll have to be quick.

00:31:42My time's nearly up.

00:31:43Shall I do it?

00:31:44Do what?

00:31:45You didn't tell me just now.

00:31:46You must have told Arnold.

00:31:48Where are you?

00:31:49Have I been dinner?

00:31:49Having dinner at one o'clock in the morning?

00:31:51Are you daft?

00:31:52You go to bed at once and don't you dare to have another drink all the time every Sunday?

00:31:56Oh, Lydia.

00:31:57Frightening the life out of me.

00:31:59I'm going back to bed.

00:32:01Oh, she's wrong.

00:32:03Good.

00:32:03Then that's for my life now.

00:32:05I pray, sir.

00:32:05Hello.

00:32:06Hello.

00:32:09Look at that.

00:32:10Look at that.

00:32:15What do you think of that, Bjorn?

00:32:16I wouldn't know.

00:32:17I'm in the motor trade.

00:32:18Good bit of stuff, that.

00:32:21I'll buy it.

00:32:22I'll buy it.

00:32:23Do you mind?

00:32:24Of course not.

00:32:24Carry on.

00:32:25I'll give you £300 for your rights.

00:32:26Good.

00:32:26I'll just write it under the transfer.

00:32:27We'll both sign it.

00:32:29I thought you were going to sell it to the other fellow then.

00:32:31Did you?

00:32:32Well, I might if you hadn't been quick.

00:32:34It's jumping, isn't it?

00:32:35Can I get some of this stuff right away?

00:32:38I'm going to have some samples made up.

00:32:39I should.

00:32:40Now, you sign there.

00:32:41There you are.

00:32:42Signed and sealed.

00:32:43Now, it'll be all right if I send you a cheque when I get home.

00:32:46Your IOU.

00:32:47Oh.

00:32:48Can you sign this?

00:32:50You have that, and I have these.

00:32:51Good.

00:32:52Well, good luck, and I hope you make your fortune.

00:32:54And if this makes up as I think it will, I'm going to.

00:32:57That's it.

00:32:58I'm going to buy a drink, barman.

00:32:59Yes, sir.

00:32:59Drinks for everybody.

00:33:00Certainly, sir.

00:33:01The gentleman would like to know what you're drinking.

00:33:05I've got a feeling it's my lucky day.

00:33:08Send me, fellas, I'm on my way.

00:33:10Going right up to the top of the tree.

00:33:13So come right in and have a drink with me.

00:33:16Won't be long till I make my pile.

00:33:19Then I'll live in the grandest style.

00:33:22You'll be a common king.

00:33:24No, sir, I'll be emperor of Lancashire.

00:33:28I'll have a retinue ten mile long.

00:33:30And an army ten million strong.

00:33:33Big white elephants by the score.

00:33:36And a fleet and anchor off the Wiggin shore.

00:33:39Don't you recognise who I am?

00:33:42You've got to give me a big salam.

00:33:45Got to end with a vote of thanks.

00:33:48To the emperor of Lancashire.

00:33:50Bow down, everyone. Here I come.

00:33:57Yes, sir, I'm the emperor of Lancashire.

00:34:02Who's this gentleman flashing down?

00:34:05Is he somebody we should know?

00:34:08Is he somebody...

00:34:09Whoa, sir, I'm the emperor of Lancashire.

00:34:13Who's this gentleman talking loud?

00:34:16Is he one of the usual crowd?

00:34:19There's this gentleman, the hardy door.

00:34:22And the emperor of Lancashire.

00:34:25Don't you recognise who you've seen?

00:34:28He's the boss of the whole Shabeen.

00:34:30He's the fellow who broke the banks.

00:34:33That's me and the emperor of Lancashire.

00:34:36Who's that fellow, the crowded row?

00:34:39Who's that sucker the boys have found?

00:34:42Who's that sucker, my dear sir?

00:34:45I'm the emperor of Lancashire.

00:34:48I'm going back to me native town.

00:34:51With me millions, I'll knock them down.

00:34:54I'll have everything in my power.

00:34:56And I'll build a palace on the Blackpool Tower.

00:34:59On my birthday, the crowds will cheer.

00:35:02All the fountains will flow with beer.

00:35:05Blackpool wigs will run all year.

00:35:08For the emperor of Lancashire.

00:35:10Thanks, I'll hold a banquet for fifty score.

00:35:14Stripe and onions and wilts galore.

00:35:16Stewed pigs, trotters and mutton shanks.

00:35:19Ha ha.

00:35:20For the emperor of Lancashire.

00:35:22Bow down everyone, here I come.

00:35:25Bang that cymbal and hit that drum.

00:35:28Bow down everyone, yes sir.

00:35:31I'm the emperor of Lancashire.

00:35:36What might that be when it's finished?

00:35:38Beef steak and kidney pudding.

00:35:40George's favourite.

00:35:41I'm going to give him a real welcome home supper.

00:35:43I hope there'll be enough to go round.

00:35:44If that's the basin you're going to use a dietit.

00:35:46There's only him and uncle to eat it.

00:35:48I'm on a diet.

00:35:49Don't tell me you're slimming again.

00:35:50No, I'm not slimming.

00:35:51I just want to keep as I am, that's all.

00:35:53You're not the girl you were three months ago.

00:35:55You haven't got the bust of a choir boy.

00:35:56I don't want the bust of a choir boy.

00:35:59You can't tell me that George likes you dieting.

00:36:02George and me are all right.

00:36:04Aren't we Arnold?

00:36:05I should say George likes them slender.

00:36:07That's enough from you Arnold, Stewkins.

00:36:10Something new.

00:36:12Yes, it's very nice isn't it?

00:36:13Nothing's nice to look at till it's paid for.

00:36:16The whole house is furnished on tick.

00:36:18Oh no, not tick ma, just our purchase.

00:36:20Well I call it tick.

00:36:21Still it's a very nice cooker.

00:36:23Come to that, I saw a very nice diamond tiara the other day,

00:36:26but I haven't bought it.

00:36:27Do you know why?

00:36:28Because it isn't the right size.

00:36:29No, Arnold, Stewkins.

00:36:30Because I can't pay for it.

00:36:31And what you can't pay for, you didn't ought to have.

00:36:34When are you expecting George back?

00:36:35When we see him.

00:36:36Oh, you mustn't keep me any longer.

00:36:38My love to George, goodbye.

00:36:41The old cat.

00:36:43Don't tell me you're slimming.

00:36:45What business is it of hers?

00:36:46You took having your hair dyed.

00:36:47If I want to have my hair dyed, I shall, whether she likes it or not.

00:36:50But if she don't like it, George won't either.

00:36:51George would like anything I like if she'd let him, but she won't.

00:37:00Mrs Pearson?

00:37:02Yes.

00:37:10No answer.

00:37:15Hello Mother.

00:37:16Where?

00:37:17Welcome back, George.

00:37:18Where's Lydia?

00:37:19I thought she'd be here to meet me.

00:37:20Well, Mother's here anyway.

00:37:21Looking about from London.

00:37:22Oh, how nice.

00:37:23I haven't had a chocolate for months.

00:37:25No, them are for Lydia, Mother.

00:37:26Oh, she'll not touch them.

00:37:27She's slimming again.

00:37:28Oh.

00:37:29Why don't you stop her?

00:37:30Everybody's talking.

00:37:31Oh, are they?

00:37:32Well, I won't have people talking about my private affairs.

00:37:34Taxi?

00:37:35Would you like me to drop you at the shop?

00:37:36Oh, that'd be nice.

00:37:37Taxi?

00:37:38I'm expecting you and Lydia to supper tonight.

00:37:40Just a little family gathering.

00:37:42Just us three.

00:37:43Well, Mother, I'll...

00:37:44Oh, George, now come all this way.

00:37:52I wonder George hasn't let us know what time he's coming.

00:37:55Well, he's a very busy man.

00:37:57If he could have, he would.

00:37:58Ah, I suppose you might say the same about young pigeon.

00:38:01I don't know what George will say when I tell him she still hasn't laid.

00:38:04Yes.

00:38:05Taxi.

00:38:07It's stopping.

00:38:09Oh, it's George.

00:38:10Uncle, go and fetch George's bag in here and pay the taxi.

00:38:14Hello, George.

00:38:15Lydia.

00:38:15George.

00:38:16Hello, Uncle.

00:38:17How's the pigeons?

00:38:18Well, they're not...

00:38:19You can talk about them later.

00:38:20Now, off you go, Uncle.

00:38:21Now, come on, George.

00:38:22Sit down.

00:38:22You must be tired.

00:38:23Come and tell me all about it.

00:38:24Now, was it a long journey?

00:38:25Ah, it was a long journey.

00:38:27The train was crowded.

00:38:28Do you know that train was so crowded,

00:38:29well, finally, I said to the fellow sitting next to me,

00:38:32I said, a bit crowded, isn't it?

00:38:34And he said, ah, it is.

00:38:36And how was London?

00:38:38London, well, it, er...

00:38:43Lydia, I have a confession to make.

00:38:45A confession?

00:38:46What about?

00:38:48Well, it's, er...

00:38:49I don't, er...

00:38:50I don't know how to tell you about it.

00:38:52What is it, George?

00:38:54Well, it all started at the party last night.

00:38:56Who was with you?

00:38:57Well, there was Mr. Nelson.

00:38:59You remember him?

00:39:00And two of his girlfriends.

00:39:03Girlfriends?

00:39:04Yes, Lydia.

00:39:05I wonder if you'll understand.

00:39:07I think you'd better try me, George.

00:39:09Well, it was Mr. Nelson who suggested it.

00:39:11I admit I rather like the idea,

00:39:13but I didn't know what you'd think about it.

00:39:16Oh.

00:39:17So then I telephoned you to ask you.

00:39:19Ask me?

00:39:20And I didn't seem to get much of an answer,

00:39:22so I went back and did it quickly.

00:39:24George!

00:39:26It cost £300.

00:39:28£300?

00:39:31I give an I owe you for it.

00:39:33George, I don't know what you're talking about.

00:39:35It must be a yarn.

00:39:37Yes, it is.

00:39:38This is it.

00:39:39Oh, that.

00:39:40I bought it, do you know, Lydia?

00:39:42It'll revolution...

00:39:43It'll rev... rev...

00:39:44Well, it'll sell like hot cakes.

00:39:46Yes, it's cheap to make up,

00:39:47and I owe the English manufacturing rights.

00:39:49You do?

00:39:50Yes.

00:39:50And shall you offer it to Dawson's?

00:39:52When I'm ready,

00:39:53they'll have to pay me for the privilege.

00:39:54I dictate the terms.

00:39:56£300?

00:39:58But we haven't got £300, have we?

00:40:01Yes, love, that's just what we've got in the bank.

00:40:03But we've only got it because we furnished on the instalment plan.

00:40:06Well, aye, I know we really owe it.

00:40:08Never mind, George.

00:40:09Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

00:40:11Have you seen it made up into garments?

00:40:12No, but I'm getting samples done in London.

00:40:14I should think it'd be marvellous.

00:40:16Just think of it, Lydia, in six months' time,

00:40:18five million... no, 50 million women will be clambering for underwear made of this stuff.

00:40:22And Dawson's will make it, thanks to your initiative.

00:40:24You know, Lydia, it does me good to talk to you.

00:40:27I don't know what I'd do without you.

00:40:28That's nice, George.

00:40:30To think I was going to scold you.

00:40:32Scold me? What about?

00:40:34Never mind. I can't say anything about it.

00:40:37Oh, tell me. I'd like to know.

00:40:39No, it's nothing, really. It's only about this here dieting.

00:40:43Who told you I'd been dieting?

00:40:45Maybe a little dicky bird.

00:40:46Maybe it was an old vulture, so she got in as quick as that, did she?

00:40:49Where did you see her?

00:40:50Who?

00:40:51Your mother, of course.

00:40:53Station.

00:40:54How did she know what train you were coming on?

00:40:57How do I know? I expected you to be there as well.

00:40:59I sent you a telegram.

00:41:00Well, I never got it, but she was there waiting to tell tales on me.

00:41:03No, she wasn't.

00:41:05She just came to ask us to have supper with her tonight.

00:41:07She asked you that? What did you say?

00:41:10Well, I said, yes, this being my first night at home.

00:41:14And she knew I'd got steak and kidney pudding for you.

00:41:16Have you?

00:41:17She did it on purpose, just to show that she can twist you around her little finger

00:41:20and to let me know how much I am at her.

00:41:21Now, don't lose your temper.

00:41:22Why can't she leave us alone?

00:41:23She's not content with spoiling our first night home together,

00:41:25but she's got to decide what shape I'm going to be.

00:41:27Well, she won't, see?

00:41:28If I'm going to diet, I'd do it whether she likes it or not.

00:41:31Oh, will you? And what if I don't like it?

00:41:33Now, see here, George, I'm slim and I'm going to stay slim.

00:41:37Suppose I forbid it?

00:41:39I beg your pardon?

00:41:40Oh, now, Lydia, there's no need for us to disagree.

00:41:43And let me tell you something else.

00:41:44I'm going blonde.

00:41:46You're going... you're going daft.

00:41:48I tell you, I'm going blonde.

00:41:49Now, I won't have it, Lydia.

00:41:50What are my friends going to see on Sunday when they see me going into church

00:41:53at Thedick Choir with my wife sitting in third pew looking like a...

00:41:56like a... well, like you'd look?

00:41:58Thanks very much.

00:41:58Now, you're going too far, Lydia. You're going to make a fool of yourself.

00:42:01Talk about having children. Why, you're not responsible, blonde.

00:42:04When your children got here, they wouldn't recognise you.

00:42:09Hello?

00:42:10Yes, speaking.

00:42:11Hey, Lydia, come back.

00:42:12Oh, sorry, Mr. Gerald.

00:42:15Yes? Yes, I've just got back.

00:42:17Oh. Are you and George going out then?

00:42:19I'm going out.

00:42:22Very well. I'll be there first thing in the morning.

00:42:25Thank you. Good afternoon. Thank you for calling.

00:42:28Uncle.

00:42:31Did you see Lydia just now?

00:42:32Aye, she went out.

00:42:33George, we had a letter from Feathered World.

00:42:35Did you say out about going to the hairdresser's?

00:42:38No, she seemed a nurry like.

00:42:40Dear sir, with reference to your latest report...

00:42:44Do you happen to know where she goes for her hair?

00:42:47Antoin's. It's French, I suppose.

00:42:49An application to the re-trice's...

00:42:52Now, what's that mean, George?

00:42:54Whereabouts is this here, Antoin's?

00:42:55I don't know. I always go to Charlie's.

00:43:06Is Mrs. Pearson here? I mean, Madame Pearson's review play?

00:43:10Aye, she's being done now.

00:43:12Well, can I go through? I'm married to her.

00:43:14Certainly. Miss Ellen, is Mrs. Pearson dry yet?

00:43:17She won't be known, Mr. Antoin.

00:43:19It's my husband.

00:43:20Leave that where it is.

00:43:23Hello, Lydia. Can I come in?

00:43:25How do you do?

00:43:26How do you do?

00:43:27What does that thing do?

00:43:28It's for drying the hair.

00:43:29Oh, is that all?

00:43:31I'll be back in a minute.

00:43:35You know, when I saw that on your head, I thought...

00:43:38It is only for drying your hair, isn't it?

00:43:40Yes, of course it is. What did you think?

00:43:43Oh, nothing.

00:43:46Lydia, I'm sorry I lost my temper.

00:43:47You know, after the way you took it when I told you I'd spent all our money.

00:43:52That's all right, George.

00:43:53But when you told me you was going blonde, well, that upset me.

00:43:57Would that matter very much, George?

00:43:59Well, you know it would.

00:44:01Well, I knew you was only pulling my leg.

00:44:04You know, you do look funny with that on.

00:44:06Doesn't it make your head ache?

00:44:07Yes, it does, rather.

00:44:09Shall I take it off?

00:44:09Oh, no, you mustn't do that. You spoil everything.

00:44:13Oh, all right.

00:44:14Look, let's not go to me mother's tonight.

00:44:17Let you and me just have a quiet night together, eh?

00:44:20Oh, yes, I'd like that, George.

00:44:22Champion, I'll go and ring her up and come back again.

00:44:24Oh, no, don't do that.

00:44:25You go on home and I'll come later.

00:44:28All right, love. Don't be lonely.

00:44:45Application to the retrices. What might that be, now?

00:44:48Where's George?

00:44:49Hmm? He's inside making a cup of tea, lass.

00:44:50Oh, Uncle, if only I'd waited till I wasn't in a temper.

00:44:54Why, what's to do?

00:44:55I've done it.

00:44:56Hmm?

00:44:57I'm a blonde.

00:44:58Hey, let's have a look.

00:44:59Oh, no, you mustn't. Oh, it looks simply frightful.

00:45:02Nay, what'll George say?

00:45:04Oh, you won't ever see it.

00:45:05I'll go away somewhere to Manchester till it's grown out again.

00:45:09Eh, well, don't take on the soul, lass.

00:45:11Oh, George will be furious.

00:45:13What shall I do, Uncle?

00:45:16I'd better stay with the pigeons. I'd best start away.

00:45:23Is George in?

00:45:29Where's George?

00:45:30Oh, in the kitchen.

00:45:32Why don't you knock before you come in, Ma?

00:45:34You gave me quite a fright.

00:45:35George always likes me to walk in.

00:45:37Oh, so do I, but you might sing out or something.

00:45:41Si?

00:45:42Well, hello, lady.

00:45:43I just made you a nice cup of...

00:45:45Well, hello, Ma. What's to do?

00:45:46Huh?

00:45:47Since Mohammed won't come to the mountain, the mountains come to Mohammed.

00:45:50Yeah, but mountains?

00:45:51Here's the tart I'd made for your supper.

00:45:53Oh, you got the message, then?

00:45:55I did get your message.

00:45:56Oh, was it Lydia's?

00:45:57No, it was mine.

00:45:58It was doomed to please her.

00:45:59No, it wasn't.

00:46:00All the same, it does.

00:46:02There you are.

00:46:03It's all right, George.

00:46:05It shan't bother you anymore.

00:46:06According to Dr. Wilson, I shan't be here much longer to bother anyone.

00:46:10When did Dr. Wilson say that?

00:46:1125 years ago.

00:46:13Oh, shut up, Lydia.

00:46:15Now, there's no need to get upset, Ma.

00:46:17Here's an idea.

00:46:18Let's all have supper here.

00:46:19What do you say to that?

00:46:20Eh, Lydia?

00:46:21You can't ask your mother to stay here, where the suet pudding won't go round and the table isn't paid

00:46:25for.

00:46:25Now, wait a minute.

00:46:26Oh, if you do stay to supper, then I do.

00:46:27Ladies, ladies.

00:46:27And I'm to get a few supper in the house of my own son.

00:46:29No, Mother, it's not that.

00:46:30No, George, you must make up your mind which is staying to supper. I'd like to know.

00:46:34Listen, you two can have your supper where you want.

00:46:35I'm going to Cochin-Arson.

00:46:37I'm going to dine off veal and ham pie and beer.

00:46:38And I'm going at men's bar, because women are a...

00:46:41Well, they bother anybody.

00:46:42No, George.

00:46:43I shan't stay another minute.

00:46:47And to think that the day you were born, I was four and a half hours under chloroform.

00:46:53Well, I never.

00:46:55I thought she'd find something to stop her going.

00:46:58Anyway, now we're by ourselves, I've got something to tell you, George.

00:47:01Something I couldn't possibly tell you in front of her.

00:47:06Oh, my.

00:47:17It's all right, Mother.

00:47:18It's all right.

00:47:19Lydia, give me your hand to get her on the sofa, will you?

00:47:22It's all right, Mother.

00:47:23Don't worry.

00:47:26Lydia.

00:47:27George!

00:47:29What will the neighbours say tomorrow?

00:47:32Neighbours?

00:47:32What will the choir say on Sunday?

00:47:35Hello, hello.

00:47:36Can you hear?

00:47:37Oh, my.

00:47:37Oh, neither can I.

00:47:39Hello.

00:47:40Oh, that's better.

00:47:41Hello, Major.

00:47:42Oh, this is Gerald.

00:47:44Yeah.

00:47:44Now, listen.

00:47:45I want to make a test of a new yarn.

00:47:47Right away.

00:47:48Miss Fowler.

00:47:49Yes, sir?

00:47:50Take this to the laboratory at once, please.

00:47:52What's the matter with you today, Pearson?

00:47:54I'm sorry, Mr. Gerald, but this telegram worries me.

00:47:59Well, it is a bit peculiar, isn't it?

00:48:01Yes, I can't understand it.

00:48:02It says material described, not even known here.

00:48:04Well, perhaps they didn't recognise the description.

00:48:06Anyway, if the stuff's all right, it doesn't matter.

00:48:09I suppose you're right, really.

00:48:11Well, supposing it's wrong.

00:48:12You lose 300 pounds, but what of it?

00:48:14What of it?

00:48:15Oh, it's a mere bagatelle.

00:48:17It might be a mere bagatelle to you, Mr. Gerald.

00:48:19Tell me.

00:48:20How do you think this yarn will make up into knickers?

00:48:22Oh, champion.

00:48:23But, pardon the liberty, Mr. Gerald, I don't think we ought to say knickers.

00:48:27Well, drawers, then.

00:48:29Oh, drawers.

00:48:30Well, what would you say?

00:48:31Well, with my London experience, I think we ought to say panties.

00:48:35Panties.

00:48:36Panties?

00:48:37Or scanties.

00:48:38Or step-outs.

00:48:39Now, look here.

00:48:41Mandel and Riggs give entire new season's order to McKinley's.

00:48:44Fix it up at the exhibition, I expect.

00:48:46Yes, right under our very noses.

00:48:48That's the third customer we've lost this month.

00:48:50What's the matter with everybody?

00:48:51Our product's just the same, isn't it?

00:48:53Well, perhaps that's the trouble, Father, you see, Pearson says.

00:48:56Don't tell me what he says.

00:48:57If we never saw Pearson again, it wouldn't affect Dawson's underwear.

00:49:00Not one stitch.

00:49:01Now, where are last month's figures?

00:49:02Well, I gave orders for them to be sent to you.

00:49:04Orders, orders.

00:49:05The way time is wasted in this place is disgraceful.

00:49:08Well, if I only had an assistant as I asked you for yesterday.

00:49:10Well, engage someone.

00:49:11Personnel's your job.

00:49:12Get a new man or promote somebody.

00:49:14Thank you, sir.

00:49:14I will.

00:49:15Now, come with me into my room.

00:49:16We must get those figures audited today.

00:49:19Wait here, Pearson.

00:49:19I may have some good news for you.

00:49:21Good news?

00:49:22Well, you don't mean...

00:49:23Gerald, are you coming or are you not?

00:49:25Coming, Father.

00:49:38Mm.

00:49:40Lydia.

00:49:41What are you doing here?

00:49:43I met Miss Farrell as I came in.

00:49:45She told me you were in here.

00:49:46Well, this is Mr. Gerald's room and we're just about to have a conference.

00:49:50George, can't we be on speaking terms for just a few minutes?

00:49:53No.

00:49:54I don't feel like discussing our private troubles in this.

00:49:56Well, the first thing I want to say is business.

00:49:59Your samples from London have come.

00:50:01Me samples?

00:50:01Where are they?

00:50:02What are they like?

00:50:02I didn't open the box, but I brought them with me.

00:50:04They're in your office.

00:50:05Wait a minute.

00:50:06I'll be back.

00:50:08Wait a minute.

00:50:11Hello?

00:50:12Mr. Pearson's office.

00:50:14Miss Davies?

00:50:14Have you got...

00:50:15Oh, you have?

00:50:16Good.

00:50:17Now, look, these garments are made from a very special yarn that's hush-hush.

00:50:20I want you to get them on dummies and send them up to Mr. Gerald's office as quick as you

00:50:23can.

00:50:23You will?

00:50:24Thanks.

00:50:25Oh, Lydia, they couldn't have come at a better time.

00:50:27And now, George, I've got something else to tell you.

00:50:29I'm going away.

00:50:30I'm leaving you.

00:50:31What do you mean?

00:50:33We can't go on after last night.

00:50:37Lydia, you're talking nonsense.

00:50:39It's not nonsense, George.

00:50:41As long as your mother's about, we shall do no good.

00:50:44She's at the house now.

00:50:47At our house?

00:50:48Oh, George, it isn't my fault, really.

00:50:50This morning after you left, I was cleaning up.

00:50:52I had the wireless on.

00:50:54In she came, walked straight to it and turned it off, saying I'd do better if I'd concentrate on the

00:50:58housework.

00:50:59And then we got angry.

00:51:00She felt one of her heart attacks coming on.

00:51:01And before I knew where I was, she was in bed in a spare room.

00:51:05Did you send for the doctor?

00:51:07No, I did not call the doctor.

00:51:09I packed my suitcase.

00:51:11That adult matters a lot, too.

00:51:13Well, since she's settling in, I'm clearing out.

00:51:15Well, I can't turn her out if she's ill.

00:51:17Ill.

00:51:18Well, suppose no upset would make her worse ill.

00:51:20All right, George.

00:51:21I'll say goodbye and go for train.

00:51:24Lydia, wait.

00:51:26Where are you going?

00:51:28To London.

00:51:29Oh, to London.

00:51:31And what are you going to live on?

00:51:32I'll find a job.

00:51:34They don't grow on trees.

00:51:36You can't look on trees.

00:51:38Well, I wouldn't give you a job looking like you do now.

00:51:40I wouldn't want it in a stuffy old place like this.

00:51:42I'd want a job in a modern firm with modern things in it.

00:51:45This place is like your mother, 20 years behind the times,

00:51:48and no one dares say so.

00:51:50Now, look here.

00:51:50Don't shout.

00:51:51You wake the directors up.

00:51:53Ah, I wish we could.

00:51:54Oh, Mr. Gerald.

00:51:56I beg her pardon.

00:51:58She didn't know what she was saying.

00:52:00I'd better catch my train.

00:52:02Oh, just a minute, Mrs. Pearson.

00:52:03It is Mrs. Pearson, isn't it?

00:52:05Why, yes, Mr. Dawson.

00:52:06Well, Mr. Gerald, she didn't mean to come into your office.

00:52:10Never mind that.

00:52:11Sit down, won't you?

00:52:12Oh, well, I really ought to...

00:52:14Oh, please.

00:52:18Now, Mrs. Pearson,

00:52:19would you kindly explain what you were saying when I came in?

00:52:22Mr. Gerald, Mr. Gerald, she didn't know what she was saying.

00:52:24She was a bit excited.

00:52:25You said this place was 20 years behind the times.

00:52:27I'm beginning to think you're right.

00:52:29Now, tell me, would you wear undies like this?

00:52:32Me?

00:52:34Well, I...

00:52:35Now, Lydia.

00:52:36Please, Mrs. Pearson, would you or wouldn't you?

00:52:39No, Mr. Dawson.

00:52:40Why wouldn't you wear them, Mrs. Pearson?

00:52:42I don't like them.

00:52:43And why don't you like them?

00:52:46I think they're stuffy.

00:52:47Lydia!

00:52:47Pearson, get a pad and take down every word that's said.

00:52:50Do you wear any of Dawson's stuff, Mrs. Pearson?

00:52:53No, I don't.

00:52:54Why not?

00:52:55Because you think it's awful?

00:52:56Now, Lydia.

00:52:57All right then, I do think it's awful.

00:52:59In fact, I wouldn't be seen dead in any of it.

00:53:01Please, Mr. Gerald, it's a misunderstanding.

00:53:03She doesn't mean anything against Dawson's.

00:53:05Really, she doesn't.

00:53:05Sit down.

00:53:06Yes, Mr. Gerald.

00:53:07Now, what kind of undies do you wear, Mrs. Pearson?

00:53:10Well, really?

00:53:12Perhaps you'd like to have a look.

00:53:13Certainly.

00:53:14Excuse me.

00:53:17Don't mention it.

00:53:19And underneath?

00:53:21Well, about...

00:53:23Panties.

00:53:23What kind of panties?

00:53:25Mr. Gerald.

00:53:26Oh, it's all right, Pearson.

00:53:27I don't want to see them.

00:53:28They're creptochine.

00:53:29McKinley's panties.

00:53:30McKinley's stuff is...

00:53:32rubbish.

00:53:32No, it isn't.

00:53:33And McKinley's panties are cut on the cross, too,

00:53:35and that's more than you'd ever get from Dawson's.

00:53:38Lydia.

00:53:38Anything else, Mrs. Pearson?

00:53:40Yes.

00:53:40Tape braziers.

00:53:41Your braziers are nothing but a couple of bags joined with tape.

00:53:44Dawson's braziers are one of the most reliable lines in the trade.

00:53:47Modern women don't want reliable braziers.

00:53:50Eve!

00:53:51Lydia Pearson.

00:53:51Mr. Gerald, she's not quite herself.

00:53:53I'd better take her away.

00:53:54Oh, you needn't take me.

00:53:55I'm going.

00:53:58I'm sorry if I said anything I shouldn't have.

00:54:00But it's true, anyway.

00:54:02Lydia.

00:54:02Excuse me, Mr. Gerald.

00:54:04Just a minute, Pearson.

00:54:05I want a few words with you.

00:54:06Mr. Gerald, I do hope you haven't taken offence of anything that's happened.

00:54:09Oh, on the contrary.

00:54:10Pearson, you know I'm going to have an assistant.

00:54:12Yes, I've heard about it.

00:54:13Well, you seem a sensible sort of chap.

00:54:17Well, I...

00:54:17And you can see it's a marvellous chance for someone.

00:54:20Yes, I can see that.

00:54:22Well, then, if you agree.

00:54:23Not unless, mind you.

00:54:24Oh, I'm sure I'd agree to anything you say.

00:54:27Then how about letting your wife have a trial at it?

00:54:29Yes.

00:54:31Wife?

00:54:32Lydia?

00:54:33She's young, smart.

00:54:34She's got good taste and she belongs to the very market we're after.

00:54:37What do you think?

00:54:38No, I'm afraid I can't see it, Mr. Gerald.

00:54:40Oh, come on, Pearson.

00:54:41Wake up.

00:54:42I'm not asleep.

00:54:42I'm stunned.

00:54:44Don't you see, if you're an assistant, that'd make her my boss.

00:54:47Ooh, that wouldn't do at all.

00:54:49You're wrong, George.

00:54:50I'd like the job, please, Mr. Dawson.

00:54:52Splendid, then, if you'll have it.

00:54:54But I...

00:54:55I won't have it.

00:54:56What do you mean?

00:54:57I mean, what do you say?

00:54:58I forbid it.

00:54:58You forbid everything.

00:55:00There's a job for you at all.

00:55:01Your mother doesn't want me to have that job any more than you want me to have this.

00:55:04There's no need to drag my mother into this.

00:55:06You're quite right.

00:55:07She'll likely come barging in herself any minute.

00:55:09Please.

00:55:10George, I want a divorce.

00:55:12No, no, no.

00:55:13Divorce?

00:55:14What do you think I'm a film star?

00:55:15I mean it.

00:55:16Anyway, this is no place to discuss that.

00:55:18Oh, please, make yourselves at home.

00:55:19Do you mind your own interference?

00:55:21I beg your pardon?

00:55:22Look, there's never been a divorce in our family yet.

00:55:23Well, there's going to be one now.

00:55:25Now, listen, if an Englishman can't be the boss of his own castle...

00:55:28Gerald!

00:55:29Gerald!

00:55:30What's all this?

00:55:30Perfect pandemonium.

00:55:32What's this young woman doing here?

00:55:33Who is she?

00:55:34It's Mrs. Pearson, father.

00:55:35Oh.

00:55:36Well, she's only just called in to bring my samples, sir.

00:55:38Samples?

00:55:38What samples?

00:55:39It's a new yarn Pearson discovered in London.

00:55:41It's being tested now.

00:55:42I was going to tell you about it.

00:55:43It's wonderful stuff, Mr. Dawson.

00:55:45Sir, honestly, it'll make an absolutely new material,

00:55:48quite different from anything we've used before.

00:55:50No, who said we wanted anything different?

00:55:52The yarn we've been using for 150 years is good enough for me.

00:56:02What's all this?

00:56:05My samples.

00:56:12Hmm.

00:56:16They're transparent.

00:56:18Yes, I'll admit if you go close you can see through them.

00:56:21Has any money been spent on this?

00:56:23300 pounds.

00:56:25300?

00:56:26You spent 300 pounds to enable us to make undergarments that will get us into the police court?

00:56:32It's unbelievable.

00:56:33Spending the firm's money?

00:56:35It was my own money I spent.

00:56:36Your own money?

00:56:38Well, I was hoping to acquire it for the firm.

00:56:40Hoping?

00:56:41Well, you've no right to acquire it for us.

00:56:43Of course, if you like to go about throwing away your own money on atrocities of this kind,

00:56:47well, we can't very well stop you, can we?

00:56:50Oh, what's the issue of trying to you?

00:56:52What did you say?

00:56:54I didn't say anything.

00:56:55But you did say something.

00:56:56What was it?

00:56:57Oh, George, stick up for yourself.

00:56:59Why do you put up with it?

00:57:04What was that?

00:57:04I asked him why he put up with it.

00:57:06And if George won't stick up for himself, I'll do it for him.

00:57:08Oh, indeed.

00:57:09And I'd like you to know he's a lot too good for this firm, even if it did make underclothes

00:57:13for Adam and Eve.

00:57:13I might be more concerned with your opinion if I were more impressed with your appearance.

00:57:18What do you mean by that?

00:57:19I mean, Mrs. Pearson, I suspect you belong to a class of people who are not the customers we should

00:57:23most like to have.

00:57:25Hey, now look here, Mr. Dawson, I don't know what you mean by that.

00:57:29But if you mean what I think you mean, I'll trouble you to take that back.

00:57:33Pearson!

00:57:33It's all right.

00:57:34You've done all the talking.

00:57:35Now it's my turn.

00:57:36I've put up with a lot in this place for the last 14 years, but this is too much.

00:57:39I know people in your position don't have to be respectful to my wife,

00:57:42but she means more to me than any of you and your blasted jobs and your salaries and bits of

00:57:46importance.

00:57:47George!

00:57:47Shut up.

00:57:48Now you'll either apologize to my wife what you've just said or I'll...

00:57:51I'll end in my resignation.

00:57:52I shall not apologize.

00:57:53She has no right to interfere.

00:57:54You'll apologize?

00:57:56I shall not.

00:57:58All right, I resign.

00:57:59Good.

00:58:00Now get out and take your wife with you.

00:58:03Come on, lady.

00:58:08Good day, gentlemen.

00:58:17And I'm not sorry.

00:58:25I've made you some cocoa.

00:58:27Oh, thanks.

00:58:28What have you got there?

00:58:30It's the agreement for the stuff.

00:58:32I took it with me this morning so I had everything ready.

00:58:34Never mind.

00:58:36Perhaps someone else will take it.

00:58:38What, after Dawson's have turned it down?

00:58:40You never know.

00:58:41They're awfully pretty, aren't they?

00:58:47Lydia, you can't wear them.

00:58:49I wonder.

00:58:50Well, I've got to get another job or else Druids will come and take all their furniture.

00:58:55I've spent all their money.

00:58:56It was yours to spend.

00:58:59It was my fault for speaking out of turn to old Dawson.

00:59:03No, it was me that put my foot in it.

00:59:05Well, I only got what I asked for.

00:59:06But you did it on my account.

00:59:09On George.

00:59:10I was proud of you.

00:59:13You know, lady, I don't know what I'd do without you.

00:59:17Drink your cocoa.

00:59:19Mind, it's hot.

00:59:20I sometimes sit and wonder just why I am able to get the lucky breaks I do.

00:59:28I'm luckier than Roosevelt or Nuffield or Gable.

00:59:33They've never been in love with you.

00:59:37They may have lots of money and importance.

00:59:41I know I'd fail where they succeed.

00:59:44But though my worldly wealth is only for once,

00:59:49What more do I need?

00:59:52They can take away the chairs,

00:59:55The carpet from the stairs,

00:59:57And all that they can see.

01:00:01It won't mean anything so long as I've got you.

01:00:06You're everything to me.

01:00:09They can take away the plates,

01:00:12The number from the gates,

01:00:14And even take the key.

01:00:18It won't mean anything so long as I've got you.

01:00:22You're everything to me.

01:00:25I can do without cigars,

01:00:28Or Rolls Royce motor cars,

01:00:30And walk the way I've always done.

01:00:34And although the weather's damp,

01:00:36I can do without me gamp,

01:00:38For you're everything rolled into one.

01:00:42I can give up all I've bought,

01:00:45Without a single thought.

01:00:47It's not so hard, you see.

01:00:50It won't mean anything so long as I've got you.

01:00:55You're everything to me.

01:00:57I can do without me fags,

01:01:01Or the bottom to me bags,

01:01:03I'd even go TT.

01:01:07I don't need anything so long as I've got you.

01:01:12You're everything to me.

01:01:15I can get along with nought,

01:01:17I, or even do without.

01:01:20My Auntie Maggie's remedy.

01:01:23I don't need anything so long as I've got you.

01:01:28You're everything to me.

01:01:31I'd give up without a shot,

01:01:34My stick of Blackpool rock,

01:01:36Although it gives me lots of fun.

01:01:38I can do without me pipe or me weekly plate of tripe

01:01:44For you're everything rolled into one

01:01:47I could do without me boots or without me swimming suits

01:01:52I don't dress in the sea

01:01:55I don't need anything so long as I've got you

01:02:00You're everything to me, you see

01:02:04You're everything to me

01:02:40Hello, George

01:02:41Oh, hello, Arnold

01:02:42What did Druid say?

01:02:44Well, they said if you can't pay, they'd have to take furniture away

01:02:47Oh, Lydia, has she come back?

01:02:50No, George

01:02:52No message, no thorn and nothing?

01:02:54No, George

01:02:56It seemed funny at home last night without her, didn't it?

01:02:59Ah, it did

01:03:01Hey, look

01:03:05Hey, George, why didn't you ask Dawson's to take you back?

01:03:08Well, may I ask Dawson's to take me back as an ordinary aunt?

01:03:10Ah, but you'd feel better that if you had a job

01:03:13Well, Lydia would

01:03:17I'll go and ask him

01:03:20I've been waiting for you for nine minutes

01:03:21I'm sorry, sir, but I can't get off the telephone

01:03:23Everybody seems to have gone there

01:03:24They keep bringing up asking for a line in some new material

01:03:27What new material?

01:03:28I can't make it out, and they all seem too much of a hurry to explain

01:03:30Oh, speak to me yourself

01:03:33Hello

01:03:35No, no, we haven't

01:03:37Now, look here, what stuff are you talking about?

01:03:39What?

01:03:40What?

01:03:42Oh, he's gone

01:03:43No, what is all this?

01:03:44Search me

01:03:45I'm sorry, Father, but all he'd say was, why don't you read your newspaper?

01:03:48I read the Investor's Chronicle this morning

01:03:50Well, so did I

01:03:52Come in

01:04:02I've come back

01:04:04So I see

01:04:08I found this pencil this morning

01:04:10It's you as I was bringing it back

01:04:12Of course, if you're still short of an overlooker

01:04:15We're not

01:04:17Well, perhaps you need some machinists

01:04:19We do not

01:04:20Oh

01:04:21Well, any hands of any description?

01:04:23Of no description

01:04:26I'd better be going

01:04:28Yes, I think you'd better

01:04:29Of course, I'd just like called in, you know

01:04:31Well, you've called in

01:04:32Good morning

01:04:34Is that the morning paper?

01:04:36Yes, Mr. General, would you like it?

01:04:38It's quite fresh, I haven't read it

01:04:39Sorry for the pencil marks, but I've been doing the crossword

01:04:42Of course, I've nothing much to do now, you know

01:04:45No, I suppose not

01:04:46Good day

01:04:47Since I've not been coming to the factory

01:04:49Good day

01:04:50Yes, I beg your pardon

01:04:52Good day, gentlemen

01:04:57Ah, here we are

01:04:58This must be it

01:04:58What's it say?

01:05:00I haven't got my glasses

01:05:01Last night, a young woman entered a room in a London hotel

01:05:04Reserved for the use of the annual conference of manufacturers of ladies' underwear

01:05:08She at once removed her coat and stood clad only in her underwear

01:05:12Go on, go on

01:05:13To the astonishment of the experts present, it proved to be made in an extremely attractive but entirely unknown material

01:05:18Which, when identified, will undoubtedly supplant all other materials used in the manufacture of lingerie

01:05:24The lady, having replaced her coat, left without explanation

01:05:28A photograph of the mysterious lady secured by a press representative appears on page five

01:05:33Page five?

01:05:35Well, I'm blowed

01:05:36What's the matter?

01:05:37It's Pearson's wife

01:05:38Let me see

01:05:39Look what she's got on

01:05:40No, I can't

01:05:41I haven't got my glasses

01:05:42It's the new samples we turned on

01:05:44That's what they were phoning about

01:05:45And Pearson's got the rights

01:05:46Come on

01:05:48But where are we going?

01:05:49Listen, Father, this happened last night

01:05:51Mrs Pearson will be coming back today

01:05:52We'll meet every London train until we find her

01:05:54We'll one jump ahead of the rest

01:05:56Because we know who she is

01:05:57Hurry!

01:05:59Arnold, Arnold, please, George!

01:06:00Are you quiet?

01:06:01What's the matter?

01:06:02Bird, you've got to keep it quiet while she's laying, you ought to know that

01:06:05How should I know that?

01:06:06Well, you've been through it yourself, haven't you?

01:06:07What do you mean?

01:06:08Well, you've had children

01:06:09I've had children, but they didn't lay eggs

01:06:11Well, it's the same thing

01:06:13Well, be careful, do

01:06:14Oh, talk of the nervous father

01:06:18Aye, well, you've been nervous

01:06:19You've been to trouble I have to get Bert and lay

01:06:24Hey, George, George, come in

01:06:28What's she do, Arnold?

01:06:29The front end, look, she's laying

01:06:30How long has she been at it?

01:06:31About a couple of hours

01:06:32Well, I'll go to her

01:06:33Well, she's done it at last

01:06:36Eh, your ma's inside

01:06:37Why bring that up?

01:06:44Well?

01:06:45Well, what?

01:06:46I told you so

01:06:47Druids have come to take your own

01:06:49That's on take

01:06:50Eh, I suppose you've come to enjoy yourself

01:06:52I've come to comfort you

01:06:53I know my duty

01:06:54Did you go to Dawson's?

01:06:56Aye

01:06:56Did you get a job?

01:06:58No, I refused it

01:06:59You refused it?

01:07:00Yes, I turned it down flat

01:07:02Why?

01:07:03Because when I'd got there

01:07:04They'd already given it to somebody else

01:07:05See?

01:07:08Now, let's see

01:07:10Four chairs

01:07:12Two easy chairs

01:07:14One settee

01:07:16One sideboard

01:07:18One small cabinet

01:07:20One writing bureau

01:07:23And one carpet

01:07:25No tents

01:07:27Are you Mr Pearson?

01:07:29Aye

01:07:29I'm sorry, we're Druid

01:07:30Oh, it's all right, Mr Druid

01:07:32Feels you us

01:07:34I never was so ashamed in all my life

01:07:36Van at door

01:07:37And all neighbours watching

01:07:38Wonder what my poor mother would think

01:07:40If she was still alive

01:07:41I know what your mother would think

01:07:43She'd think she was blooming lucky

01:07:44To have lived to such a great age

01:07:46Here

01:07:48What shall I do with thee?

01:07:49Oh, chuck them away

01:07:50Wait a minute

01:07:51Income tax

01:07:52Income tax

01:07:53Schedule A

01:07:54Here

01:07:55I said chuck them away

01:07:56What's the use of keeping them

01:07:57I've no way of paying it

01:07:58Only get on me nerves

01:07:59Always knew it would lead to trouble

01:08:01Buying things you can't pay for

01:08:03But it's all that woman's fault

01:08:04Now look here

01:08:05Mr

01:08:06We want to be a bit private

01:08:08Would you mind taking the furniture

01:08:09From upstairs first?

01:08:10Aye, that's all right

01:08:12Now look here

01:08:13Mother, the lady's a fine girl

01:08:14Then why has she let you down

01:08:15As soon as you've lost your job?

01:08:16Where is she now?

01:08:17Well

01:08:17Well, I don't know

01:08:18But I bet she's out looking for a job

01:08:19To save us having to come and live with you

01:08:21Oh, you're very outspoken today

01:08:22I must say

01:08:23Well, it's about time

01:08:24Somebody was outspoken as well as you

01:08:26Well

01:08:26You should speak to me like that

01:08:28Have you forgotten that the day you were born

01:08:29You were four and a half hours under chloriform

01:08:32Fat chance I've had her forgetting it

01:08:34Now look here, Mother

01:08:34I've let Lydia down very badly

01:08:36I've allowed you to interfere with her too much

01:08:37What if she did go and dye her hair?

01:08:39What if she did slim?

01:08:42Looked very nice when she'd done it

01:08:43And now you expect us to come back and live with you

01:08:45Well, I'm not going to do it

01:08:46And I bet Lydia won't either

01:08:49Perhaps she's not intending to live with you much longer

01:08:53What do you mean by that?

01:08:54I can put two and two together if you can't

01:08:57Well, maybe I'd deserve it if she did leave me

01:09:00Yeah, mister, careful I go out in front garden

01:09:03You tell your old mate to be careful out there, won't you?

01:09:05He knows his job

01:09:06Good to see

01:09:12What are you doing?

01:09:16You can't be too careful

01:09:17Oh, you're quite right

01:09:20Hey, leave them alone!

01:09:21You're bad

01:09:21Hey!

01:09:22Hey, leave them alone!

01:09:23Yeah, you start obstructing, you'll get into trouble

01:09:26Never mind that, you leave this alone

01:09:27Now then, now then, what's up?

01:09:29Well, he was touching coo

01:09:30Can't get stuff out with coop in road

01:09:32Well, you can't move a bird that's laying

01:09:33What kind of...

01:09:34Hey, a fantail!

01:09:36Aye, a whiten

01:09:36Really, Joe, you should have more sense

01:09:39How do you think she can settle with you barging about?

01:09:43How many has she got?

01:09:44Two

01:09:44Hey, I've got sixteen

01:09:47Sixteen?

01:09:48Now we're trying to keep her quiet

01:09:49Aye

01:09:53Still, she's late

01:09:54Huh, why don't y'all go and take her temperature?

01:09:57Shh!

01:10:06Hi, President, how are you?

01:10:08Oh, I'm all right, thanks, Mr. Nelson

01:10:10Huh, what's happening?

01:10:12Moving?

01:10:12No, we're just economising

01:10:14Like everybody else, you know

01:10:16Oh, this is Mr. Largus

01:10:17From whom I bought the rights of that yarn

01:10:19Oh, how do you do?

01:10:20Won't you come inside?

01:10:27Thanks

01:10:28Will you sit down?

01:10:30Thanks

01:10:30Well, looks like you'd make a lot of money, huh?

01:10:34I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you

01:10:36When the stuff was made up, it was transparent

01:10:39But my dear boy, that's just it

01:10:41Just what?

01:10:42The newspapers, you'll make it

01:10:43Just a minute

01:10:44Excuse me

01:10:45Look out

01:10:49I'm sorry

01:10:50This way, please

01:10:53Will you sit down?

01:10:55Thanks

01:10:56Now look here, I can see this whole affair

01:10:58Has been a great disappointment to you

01:10:59Yes, it has rather

01:11:01Well, naturally, I want to do all I can

01:11:03To put things right

01:11:05Do you think you could?

01:11:06Yes

01:11:09Well, what do you say to me buying Beck

01:11:11The rights

01:11:12Oh, that'd be very nice of you

01:11:14Excuse me

01:11:20Well, what do you think?

01:11:22Oh, sure, Mr. Nelson

01:11:23That's £300, isn't it?

01:11:24Oh, no, come, come, come

01:11:25Not £300

01:11:26Well?

01:11:26You forget the great responsibility

01:11:28I'm taking off your shoulders

01:11:29Oh, well, what do you offer?

01:11:31Well, I want to be quite fair

01:11:33Let's say £100

01:11:34Oh, no, no

01:11:35No, I wouldn't sell for £100

01:11:37No, I wouldn't sell for less than £300

01:11:40Now, look here, Nelson

01:11:41I think Pearson's quite justified

01:11:43What are you talking about?

01:11:45Mr. Pearson is definitely a good businessman

01:11:47He's made up his mind

01:11:47And I think he's quite right

01:11:48Aye, that's about the size of it

01:11:51Oh, well, if you're both against me

01:11:52I suppose I have to give in

01:11:53I'm afraid you will, Mr. Nelson

01:11:54All right

01:11:56Where's the agreement?

01:11:57Ah, the agreement

01:11:58The agreement

01:12:00Hey, you!

01:12:01Hey, stop!

01:12:01This has got to go, too

01:12:03Where are the papers that were in here?

01:12:04You said chuck them away

01:12:05So I chucked them in kitchen

01:12:06Kitchen?

01:12:08It's in kitchen

01:12:14Uncle, where's them papers out of the bureau?

01:12:15You know, that papers are two fellas wrong

01:12:17Well, I put them on a stove

01:12:18I burnt them

01:12:18You burnt them, then you burn the agreement

01:12:20That's the last chance

01:12:20I've got to get my £300 back

01:12:22I'm sorry, George

01:12:22I just had to match them when you came in

01:12:24Just then, there's time to save them

01:12:25Here, open up

01:12:26All right

01:12:31Mrs. Pearson

01:12:32What's this, a hold-up?

01:12:33We want to talk business

01:12:35Got your checkbook?

01:12:39Income, tax, letters, bills, papers

01:12:41Everything but the agreement

01:12:42Oh, what a pity

01:12:43And for you too, Nelson

01:12:44If the contract is destroyed

01:12:45The English rights revert to me

01:12:47Damn you

01:12:49Now what do I do?

01:12:50Everything gone

01:12:50Lydia, the furniture

01:12:52No job

01:12:53And now £300

01:12:54Gone at the spout

01:12:58Uncle, Alan, look

01:12:59What is it, lad?

01:13:00Is it contract?

01:13:00Yes

01:13:01You found it?

01:13:01Let me have it

01:13:02Hey, hey, hey

01:13:02I'll trouble you for my £300 first

01:13:04Certainly, certainly

01:13:04You cancel the transfer

01:13:05And I'll give you a check

01:13:06Yes, come on

01:13:10Hey, leave that there

01:13:11Go and bring all the other furniture back

01:13:12I'll give you a check for the lot

01:13:13Right-o

01:13:14Now, where do I sign cancelled?

01:13:16Write a cancellation clause at the bottom

01:13:17And sign it

01:13:18Well, you do it

01:13:19Certainly

01:13:24I, George

01:13:25Smallman

01:13:26Hmm?

01:13:27George Smallman Pearson

01:13:28That's my name

01:13:29Oh, I see

01:13:30That was christened that way

01:13:31Smallman Pearson

01:13:32Do hereby

01:13:36Relinquish

01:13:38All claims to this contract

01:13:40And there's my check

01:13:41Will you sign that, Mr Pearson, please?

01:13:42Yes

01:13:46Where do I sign?

01:13:47Just here

01:13:55Oh

01:13:55Where did you say?

01:13:56Here or here?

01:13:57Just there

01:13:58Oh

01:14:07Oh, this pen's just dry as a bone

01:14:09Can I borrow one of yours?

01:14:10Here

01:14:11Well, I can't write with two hands at once

01:14:17Gee, that's a funny nib, isn't it?

01:14:23George!

01:14:24Lydia!

01:14:27George!

01:14:28I've got some good news for you

01:14:29No, me first

01:14:30Look, Nelson's buying back the contract

01:14:32He's around 300 quid

01:14:33Now, look

01:14:33Sign this first

01:14:34And we'll talk after

01:14:35Right-o

01:14:36Wait a minute, George

01:14:38What are you signing?

01:14:39I'm just giving him back his

01:14:40Let me see

01:14:42It's Nelson

01:14:42George, you can't sign this

01:14:44I know you whether I can sell this or not

01:14:46George, you mustn't

01:14:49There's your check

01:14:50What are you doing?

01:14:50Sir, I thought you'd get in first, you swindler

01:14:52George, this agreement's worth thousands

01:14:54But I don't want thousands

01:14:55I want me 300 pounds back

01:14:56Why is he wants to sell?

01:14:57But the stuff's all right

01:14:58It's more than all right

01:14:59It's terrific

01:15:00It's all right

01:15:01How do you know?

01:15:03This is how

01:15:04Mr. Gerald

01:15:05Mr. Dawson

01:15:06In our house

01:15:07Look

01:15:09Well

01:15:11Undressed

01:15:12And on the center page, too

01:15:14Lydia, what have you been and done?

01:15:16I showed your samples where they did most good, that's all

01:15:18So I've noticed

01:15:19Ask Mr. Dawson

01:15:21You got here pretty quick, didn't you, Nelson?

01:15:23But not quick enough

01:15:24These rights are going to Dawson's, aren't they, Pearson?

01:15:26Yes, for 500 pounds down and 10% on all sales

01:15:29Just a second

01:15:30I'll give you 600

01:15:32I'll give you 700

01:15:33800

01:15:35Oh, come on, it's your turn

01:15:37900

01:15:38I'll make you 1,000

01:15:41Hey, how do I know you've got 1,000 pounds?

01:15:43I'm acting on behalf of McKinley's

01:15:44Oh, I see, it's McKinley's against Dawson's

01:15:48Yes, and now it's 1,000 pounds and 10%

01:15:51Anything further to say, Mr. Dawson?

01:15:53Listen, George, I've been waiting up an hour for you

01:15:56Excuse me, Mr. Nelson

01:15:57I'll accept your offer, Mr. Dawson

01:15:59Because you can give me something McKinley's can't

01:16:01Oh?

01:16:01I'll accept your 900 pounds, 10% plus

01:16:04A job in your London office

01:16:06Why the London office?

01:16:07Well, because Mrs. Pearson and I

01:16:09Have got family reasons for wanting to go and live in London

01:16:12Agreed on all points

01:16:14Right, now you fix this up and I'll sign it

01:16:18Come on, Nelson

01:16:20Goodbye

01:16:23That's mine

01:16:24You're welcome

01:16:25Do you mean to say you're going to leave this town?

01:16:27Yes, Mother

01:16:28Oh, my heart

01:16:30Well, Sophie's behind you

01:16:31George, George, come quick, lad

01:16:34What's to do?

01:16:34Never mind you, come and look for yourself

01:16:37Uncle, you don't mean

01:16:38Well, put your hand in, lad, put your hand in

01:16:40Easy now, easy, remember, it's been awfully hard work

01:16:42You've done it

01:16:43She's done it, Tate

01:16:45Lydia, Lydia

01:16:47What do you think it is, Uncle?

01:16:48A boy or a girl?

01:16:49Let's hope it's a lad

01:16:50Think of the trouble we had with her

01:16:53George, what is it?

01:16:54What's happened?

01:16:54Look, she's laid, she's laid

01:16:55Isn't it, champion?

01:16:56George, it's wonderful

01:16:59It's turned out nice again, hasn't it?

01:17:01Oh, my God

01:17:24So, it's very convenient

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