- 2 days ago
First broadcast 16th November 1978.
The ever work-shy George is apprehensive when called for a job interview but the resultant, successful post suits him down to the ground.
Yootha Joyce - Mildred Roper
Brian Murphy - George Roper
Norman Eshley - Jeffrey Fourmile
Sheila Fearn - Ann Fourmile
Nicholas Bond-Owen - Tristram
Simon Lloyd - Baby Tarquin
Anthony Sharp - Headmaster
Michael Hawkins - Mayor
Robert Raglan - Brown
Gerald Case - Jones
Leonard Woodrow - Smith
Shirley English - Mrs. Hamilton
Cy Town - Parent
The ever work-shy George is apprehensive when called for a job interview but the resultant, successful post suits him down to the ground.
Yootha Joyce - Mildred Roper
Brian Murphy - George Roper
Norman Eshley - Jeffrey Fourmile
Sheila Fearn - Ann Fourmile
Nicholas Bond-Owen - Tristram
Simon Lloyd - Baby Tarquin
Anthony Sharp - Headmaster
Michael Hawkins - Mayor
Robert Raglan - Brown
Gerald Case - Jones
Leonard Woodrow - Smith
Shirley English - Mrs. Hamilton
Cy Town - Parent
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:28Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
00:59Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
01:28Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
01:58Transcribed by —
01:58Oh, er, not very well.
02:00You'd think she'd screw herself into the ground, wouldn't you?
02:02What do you mean?
02:04What do you mean, not very well?
02:06Well, they, er,
02:08they got a bit gnarky with me, Mildred.
02:10Well, they didn't go green or anything, but they said it's time I got a job.
02:13What, you?
02:13The original unemployment figure.
02:15Oh.
02:18It's worse this time, Mildred.
02:19They've actually fixed me up with an interview.
02:21They'll fail you.
02:23No, you're just trying to cheer me up.
02:24Oh.
02:25Honestly, George, you've failed every other interview.
02:28You've...
02:30Traffic warden.
02:35It's too bad, Anne.
02:36There's a programme on tonight.
02:37I wanted to see...
02:38William Whitelaw being interviewed.
02:41Is he the one who turns a funny colour and bursts his shirt?
02:45Hello?
02:46That's Dennis Healey.
02:49At nine o'clock sharp, you get a headache and we leave, right?
02:51Don't be like that.
02:52It's nice of them to invite us, Geoffrey.
02:55I don't think you should go if you don't want to.
02:57Ah, did you hear that, Anne?
02:59Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings.
03:01It wasn't him, it was me.
03:04I do want to go.
03:06Mildred's a very pleasant woman.
03:08But he isn't.
03:09I mean, the man has no conversation, Anne.
03:11I wouldn't mind, but it doesn't stop him talking.
03:13You are going to be polite, aren't you?
03:16My own sentiments, exactly.
03:20Traffic warden.
03:21Mm, well, you've been turned down for worse jobs.
03:24I suppose being turned down for this one is a step in the right direction.
03:27Why?
03:28They might not turn me down.
03:29I've got all the qualifications.
03:31What qualifications are needed?
03:33None.
03:33Right, you've got them.
03:36Now, George.
03:38I want you to make them welcome.
03:39Now, you understand?
03:40Now, make them feel at home.
03:42Yeah.
03:43Well, if they were at home, they'd probably have the telly on.
03:49Oh, love, hello.
03:51Oh, do come in.
03:52Oh, no trouble with the babysitter?
03:54No, no.
03:55I'm afraid she arrived.
03:59Sorry we're a little late.
04:00Oh, love, no.
04:02Come on, sit down.
04:03Only, uh, he was a bit sick on my dress before we left.
04:06Oh.
04:07Feeling all right now, are you?
04:13Um, Sherry?
04:14Oh, yeah, Tar.
04:18How's, uh, how's little, uh, you know, what's his name?
04:21Tarquin.
04:25It's a very good name, that, isn't it?
04:27He's fine.
04:28Oh, good, good.
04:35How's the other one?
04:37Well, Tristram.
04:37No, he's fine.
04:38Oh, good.
04:45How yourselves?
04:47Anne and Geoffrey, we're fine.
04:54How are you?
04:55Yeah, I'm fine.
04:58Good.
04:59Well, we're missing the incredible Hulk, you know.
05:02Fine.
05:03He's getting his form prize for English.
05:05What, in tonight's episode?
05:08Tristram.
05:09Have you found someone to present the prizes yet?
05:11No, not yet.
05:16You know, uh, Mr. Four Mile is chairman of the Teacher-Parent Association.
05:20Yeah, he would be.
05:22But what we really need is a celebrity.
05:24Someone from sport or show business.
05:27I wondered about Russell Harty.
05:29Yes, I've wondered about him as well.
05:33But I expect he's too busy.
05:35Uh, hi, uh.
05:38I'll tell you who would be good.
05:40Lou Ferrigno.
05:41Lou Ferrigno?
05:42Yeah.
05:42He plays the Incredible Hulk.
05:43He's on now, if you want to.
05:44Yeah, sure.
05:46Well, if you'd excuse me, I'll just go and, uh, stir the gravy.
05:50Yeah, well, that'd need both hands.
05:51Ha!
05:56Here, I'll tell you, uh, sport and show business.
05:58Somebody else, I'll tell you, would be good at, you know, handing out prizes.
06:01Richard Burton.
06:01Oh, yes, we'd just pick up the phone and ask him.
06:04Well, I don't know if I've still got the telephone number, but I'll have a look.
06:07What?
06:08Yeah.
06:09When do you want him for?
06:10Uh, well, in about five weeks.
06:12But you know Richard Burton?
06:15Yeah, we were at school together.
06:17Done very well for himself, are you?
06:18Yeah.
06:19What?
06:19He'd be marvellous, but...
06:21Yeah, well, I'm not making any promises, mine, but he might do it just for me.
06:24Good Lord.
06:25Well, that's incredible.
06:27Fancy Mr. Roper named Richard Burton?
06:29Yeah.
06:30What?
06:32There you met him, Mildred.
06:34Used car salesman from Acne.
06:39He's the area dance champion, quite celebrity.
06:41I don't think so, George.
06:45Different one.
06:46Yes.
06:48How's your headache come along?
06:52Send in the next applicant, will you please?
06:54It's a Miss, um, Miss Anderson.
07:01Come in.
07:07Uh, good afternoon.
07:09Good afternoon.
07:10I, uh...
07:12You're not a Miss.
07:13What?
07:14No, I'm married.
07:17Yeah, uh, Roper, George Roper.
07:19Two o'clock appointment.
07:20I'm sorry I'm late, but I had a hell of a job parking.
07:22Bloody traffic waters lurking.
07:27Yeah, they're like little hitters, half of them.
07:31Uh, just doing their duty, of course.
07:33Quite.
07:34Roper.
07:36Here we are.
07:39Uh, do sit down, Mr...
07:43Now, I have your application here.
07:46Name, yes.
07:47Height.
07:48Hmm.
07:50You've nothing against sex.
07:55Not in moderation, no.
08:00Male.
08:02Previous employment.
08:03You were a bus conductor for a year.
08:05That's right.
08:06How did you come to leave that?
08:07I got kicked upstairs.
08:10Promotion?
08:10Yeah.
08:11No, a couple of yobbos.
08:12They wouldn't pay the...
08:14Yes, yes, yes.
08:15Are you in good health?
08:17Oh, yeah, very nicely, thank you.
08:18Yourself?
08:20Yes, very well, thank you.
08:22And, uh, what attracts you to the life of a traffic warden, Mr Roper?
08:26Uh, well, it's the open air, you see.
08:29Add the money, of course.
08:31All those six quid fines, they soon add up, don't they?
08:34Yes.
08:36Actually, you don't get those.
08:38The magistrate does.
08:39Oh, well, say no more.
08:44Do you know the meaning of the yellow band round the hat?
08:46Yeah, it means you can't park on it.
08:51It means that you are identifiable as a servant of the public.
08:56Now, there are some members of the public who do look upon wardens as little Hitlers.
09:01Shocking, shocking.
09:02But this is not so.
09:04We are there to help them.
09:05To be sympathetic, cheerful, friendly, and...
09:11Yes?
09:13What?
09:15Well, why bother me with...
09:21Have you parked a motorbike on a zebra crossing?
09:31Oh, Judy?
09:32Yeah?
09:33Guess what?
09:34Oh, no, you're looking plebsy to yourself.
09:36They turned you down.
09:37Yeah, but no.
09:39No, no, I've got it.
09:41What?
09:42Yeah.
09:43Oh, well, it's a bit dicey at first, but they said, well, we've been undermanned, you see.
09:46And after four weeks' training, they could, um...
09:48What was the phrase they used?
09:50Something about silk purse.
09:52Anyway...
09:54They're going to give me a chance.
09:55You mean you've...
09:56You've actually...
09:57Got a...
09:59Brandy.
10:00Well, oh, yeah, that...
10:02And you don't mind?
10:04What?
10:04Uh...
10:05Well, no, not really.
10:06I mean, uh...
10:06I've been thinking, you see.
10:07I mean, uh...
10:09Traffic warners have got a lot of power, haven't they?
10:11Anyone you don't like, zonk.
10:13Six quid pine.
10:15Move along there or I'll have you.
10:18Don't you argue with me or I'll clap you in irons.
10:20Yeah.
10:23Yes, I think you're going to need that four weeks' training course, George.
10:26Yeah.
10:26Then there's the glamour of the uniform.
10:28Oh, gets women going in uniform, does.
10:29Well, a traffic warden's uniform gets everyone going, George.
10:33Look, darling, you're going to have to get used to being unpopular.
10:37Oh, what happened?
10:40It won't make any difference at all.
10:45Traffic warden?
10:46Yes.
10:47Of course, it's not exactly what I had in mind, but, you know, at least you'll be bringing
10:49a wage packet into the house.
10:52They do still put wages in packets, don't they?
10:54Oh, I think so.
10:55Oh, it's been so long.
10:58Oh, hello, Mr Four Mile.
10:59Yes.
11:00And, Tarkoing's a little damp again.
11:02Oh, he's gaining on me.
11:04Change him, will you, Geoffrey?
11:06Me?
11:07He is half your son.
11:09Why do I get the damp half?
11:13Has he found his celebrity yet, you know, for this school thing?
11:15Sort of.
11:16He's persuaded the mayor to do it.
11:18Oh, how exciting.
11:20Will he be wearing his clothes?
11:21I hope so.
11:22Oh, you know, dear, his robes and his chain and all that.
11:26I don't know.
11:27You should come along and meet him.
11:29Bring Mr Roper.
11:30Oh, I'd love to.
11:33And I put him on it, and he did it again.
11:39George, is that you?
11:40Yeah.
11:41Come on, Audrey.
11:52How did it go today?
11:53Oh, all right, all right.
11:55Um, I've got me full what's name.
11:58Oh, come on.
12:00George!
12:02Oh, George, you look...
12:04Oh, you look almost handsome.
12:08Steady on, Mildia.
12:09I know what a uniform does to you.
12:10I don't want it torn.
12:11Oh.
12:14Give us a twirl.
12:15Oh, no, that'd be silly.
12:16Go on.
12:17Go on.
12:18All right.
12:21It's good, isn't it?
12:22Yeah.
12:22I feel a bit like Wonder Woman.
12:24Yeah.
12:26Yeah, you've even got a little lamb bag as well.
12:28Lamb bag?
12:29Oh, yeah.
12:30Well, um, what did they teach you today?
12:32Oh, a lot of legal stuff.
12:34You wouldn't understand it.
12:35Well, I might.
12:36I doubt it.
12:36I didn't.
12:39Hey, Mildia.
12:40Yeah?
12:40Got me first pay packet today.
12:43Oh!
12:46Of course, it's, uh, it's not full wages, you see.
12:49Not while I'm training.
12:50Oh, well, it's a start.
12:51Yeah, and, uh, a couple of weeks' time,
12:53there'll be overtime and that sort of thing, see?
12:55Oh, that'll be nice.
12:56Yeah, yeah, Mildred.
12:57Hmm?
12:57We're going to have to decide how we're going to divide this.
13:00Oh!
13:01No problem, George.
13:06You have that bit, I'll have this.
13:41It was very kind of you to offer me a lift, Mr. Wormile.
13:44Yes. Well, we can't have our friendly neighbourhood traffic warden for getting his sandwiches, can we?
13:49It was excitement. Oh, it's his first day.
13:53I'm sure he'll be very good at it.
13:56Don't you argue with me. I'm telling you, you can't park there. Now, shift it.
14:05Cheeky beggar.
14:12George?
14:13Hello, little bit.
14:14You've got your sirens, dear. They're your favourites.
14:18Mushy peas and sausages.
14:21Mr. Wormile gave me a lift.
14:24Oh, very kind of you.
14:26Right, now, move along. You're on the double yellow line. Come on.
14:39Sat on the mat. Three-letter word, beginning with C.
14:44Tricky, that, isn't it?
14:47Oh, of course, cow.
14:52George? What do you think?
14:55What are you dressed up like a dog's dinner for?
14:57I'm trying on my outfit, George. You know, for the prize-giving this afternoon, for Tristram School.
15:02You know who's going to be there.
15:04I know who isn't going to be there.
15:05You're coming.
15:07There'll be a lot of influential people there, George.
15:09The mayor.
15:10I only get one half day off, Mildred.
15:12There'll be people there that will drop a word in the right ear.
15:15Yeah, well, that's where I'll be.
15:16What?
15:17Right ear.
15:20You will come home. You will change into your best suit, and you will meet me at two o'clock
15:24at the school.
15:25Oh, uh...
15:26George?
15:27Yeah?
15:27Do you think I'll have to wear my little fur stole?
15:30Oh, cool cat.
15:34Look, find your cat, Tristram. See if it's in your satchel.
15:38Are you ready, Geoffrey?
15:39Almost.
15:40And did you have to invite the Incredible Hulk and Wonder Woman?
15:44Well, it's a chance for them to meet people and make friends.
15:47Or enemies.
15:48Now, let's face it, Anne, they are not our sort of...
15:50How nice to see you, Mrs. Roper.
15:52Yes.
15:54Oh, I am looking forward to it.
15:56Oh, Mr. Roper not coming?
15:57Oh, he'll be along later. He's working this morning.
16:00Ah.
16:00Now, look, tell me, what do you call a mayor?
16:03I mean, do you say, sir, or do you say your worship?
16:07Well, Geoffrey calls him snotty.
16:10But I don't think you should.
16:12But, um, you didn't go to school with him?
16:13No.
16:14No, no, I didn't, no.
16:15Quite.
16:17Er, I'll bring the car round.
16:19Oh, right.
16:20Now, relax, Mildred.
16:22There's no need to be nervous.
16:23Well, what makes you think I'm nervous?
16:25Well, you've got both earrings on the same here.
16:28Oh!
16:31Oh, Miss Max, Mrs. Hamilton.
16:33Oh, really nice.
16:34Lovely to see you again.
16:36Hello.
16:37So glad you could come, Mrs. Hamilton-Jones.
16:39Charles.
16:40Come and meet the mayor.
16:41Come and meet the mayor, Mrs. Hamilton-Jones.
16:43We have a nice child.
16:44Mrs. Ronper.
16:45Yes.
16:46That's the headmaster.
16:47Oh, yeah.
16:48I should be careful of him.
16:49He gets hold of your ear.
16:51Oh, um, I'll watch out for that, dear.
16:56Headmaster.
16:57Ah, four mile jay.
16:59Lex application, yes?
17:01Yes, sir.
17:02Stink bomb in the lavatory, hmm?
17:04That was a long time ago, sir.
17:07You know my wife?
17:08Hello.
17:09Proper little tinker you've got there.
17:11Uh, which one?
17:14Hmm?
17:15Ah, four mile tea.
17:18Upper 5A.
17:19Could do better.
17:20That's him.
17:21Good.
17:22Cut along, boy.
17:23Take your place.
17:27I think I'm going to have a word with Snotty.
17:31Oh, uh, this is Mrs. Roper.
17:34Roper.
17:35Hmm.
17:35Do you have a little monster here?
17:37He'll be along later.
17:39Yes, he's, um, he's working.
17:41Good.
17:42Would you like to see the mayor?
17:43Um, ah, crombe fichem.
17:49Must try harder, yes?
17:52And you, uh, know my wife, Anne, of course.
17:53Of course.
17:54Hello, Trevor.
17:55Hello again.
17:56Oh, um, this is our next-door neighbour, Mrs. Roper, the mayor.
18:01How do you do, your worship?
18:04John.
18:05My husband will be along any minute.
18:07Oh, he'd love to meet you.
18:08Is he in local government?
18:09Uh, yes, he's a tre...
18:11He is a vehicle flow coordinator.
18:16Really?
18:17That sounds very impressive.
18:18Yes.
18:23Excuse me.
18:28George, you're not even changed.
18:30Yeah, I know, but you see, what happened, what's...
18:31Get in there.
18:34George, what happened?
18:36You're all dusty.
18:37Yeah, well, it's this builder's lorry, Mildred.
18:40Oh, yeah, well, yeah, you know, it's been terrible trouble, wasn't it?
18:43Well, yeah, well, take your jacket off, come on.
18:45Well, I was, uh, writing out a ticket, you see, for the driver,
18:48when his mate sneaked up behind me and shoved a cement bag over me head.
18:53That's all the more reason for you to go home and get changed.
18:56Well, I couldn't, I forgot me key.
18:57Oh, really?
18:58I mean, look at this cement.
18:59Yeah, well, it's lucky it wasn't raining on me way here, I never made it.
19:04Get your trousers off.
19:05Oh, don't start there.
19:08I wouldn't give them a good shake-out.
19:10Well, come on.
19:11I want to go home.
19:13Yes.
19:13Yes, well, perhaps that would be the best.
19:15What?
19:15Well, I can't introduce you to important people looking like that.
19:18Oh.
19:19Oh, I see.
19:20I'm not good enough for your fancy friends, is that it?
19:23I think that sums it up, yes, go home.
19:25Certainly not.
19:26George, there's not often I ask you to do something for me.
19:29But if...
19:31I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
19:33What?
19:34Oh, no.
19:35No, love, no.
19:36Only we're going into the hall.
19:38Yeah, I'll be right along.
19:39Yes, how will I?
19:41And I would like to approve by asking the headmaster to grant all the boys
19:45an extra half-day's holiday.
19:58That was you, wasn't it?
20:00Right in the middle of the mayor's speech.
20:01Oh, it wasn't me.
20:03It was them leather cushions.
20:07Now, George, you just behave yourself.
20:10If you want to speak to anyone, don't say anything.
20:13Oh, thank you, dear.
20:17Excellent speech, headmaster.
20:18Of course, my Latin is not what it was.
20:20I should hope not.
20:21It used to be terrible.
20:24Amor, amas, amat.
20:25What comes next, hmm?
20:27Oh.
20:29He could never decline to love.
20:32He hasn't changed much, then.
20:35Excuse me.
20:37Oh, headmaster.
20:38Oh, I did so enjoy your speech.
20:40Oh, this is the head what's name, is it?
20:43Especially that little bit in Italian.
20:45Roper.
20:46George Roper.
20:46How do you do?
20:47I don't go along with private education.
20:49Oh, my God.
20:50George.
20:50I mean, not all that Latin rubbish.
20:52I mean, who speaks Latin apart from the ancient Greeks?
21:09Yeah, well, there is that, of course.
21:12I mean, they could all be doing woodwork, couldn't they?
21:18Mr. Roper.
21:19Oh, Your Worship.
21:20Oh, I did so enjoy your speech.
21:24Oh, you're the mayor, eh?
21:25Roper, George Roper.
21:26Here, what about our dustbins?
21:29Thank you, hon.
21:30Well, you didn't collect them last week, did you?
21:33I don't do it personally.
21:36It's your lot, though, isn't it?
21:37Oh, George, for pity's sake.
21:38Oh, I'm sorry.
21:39He's not himself.
21:40He had a cement bag pulled over his head.
21:43I'm not surprised.
21:45All the dog doings in our road, you're responsible for them, too, aren't you?
21:48John, John, come here.
21:50Oh, there we go.
21:51Ah, here, and another thing.
21:53Only having boys here, I mean, that's liable to turn them all into raving fools.
21:56I don't!
22:00Now, look, here is my key.
22:04Now, go home.
22:06I want to discuss religion with the vicar.
22:08Go home!
22:12Do you know that fellow?
22:14Good heavens, no.
22:15No, ah, Tristram.
22:17See my book, What I Want for English?
22:21He had to go, but I'm still here.
22:24Yes.
22:25We can't stay too long, Anne.
22:38Oh, it's such a pleasure to actually meet you in person.
22:43And it would...
22:45Oh, my God.
23:20George, what are you doing?
23:24This is Mr. Four Mile's car.
23:26It's gone 4.30. Can't park here after 4.30.
23:30Now, listen to me.
23:32Just a minute.
23:35Here we are.
23:38Any chance of a lift home, son?
Comments