Comfort Is Expensive | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 04)
Featuring: Wine Down Wednesday, Mentorship Series
Wednesday | January 7th, 2026
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Song of The Day: "Honesty" by Billy Joel
Released 1978 | 52nd Street
Burning Questions: What are you paying for comfort that rest and honesty could provide for free?
Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions... Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com
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DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.
411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines
DISC 6: Vitality
Track 04: Comfort Is Expensive
©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network
LerinGaines.com
Featuring: Wine Down Wednesday, Mentorship Series
Wednesday | January 7th, 2026
Streaming LIVE on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES
https://leringaines.com
https://linktr.ee/leringaines
https://www.facebook.com/leringaines
http://instagram.com/leringaines
https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines
http://twitter.com/leringaines
https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines
https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines
https://dlive.tv/LerinGaines
https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines
Song of The Day: "Honesty" by Billy Joel
Released 1978 | 52nd Street
Burning Questions: What are you paying for comfort that rest and honesty could provide for free?
Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions... Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com
DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, DLIVE, Twitch, DailyMotion)
Sign up for my FREE Monthly Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!
Subscribe now at LerinGaines.com
#Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #DLIVE #Twitch #DailyMotion #DebtFreeLiving #FinancialCoach #LerinGaines #411Podcast #RBTW #ReadingBetweenTheWines #BurningQuestions #BlackDiamondConsultations #VacationWithMe #WhispersofWisdom #DISC6 #Vitality
DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.
411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines
DISC 6: Vitality
Track 04: Comfort Is Expensive
©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network
LerinGaines.com
Category
️👩💻️
WebcamTranscript
03:30So grab your journal, pour your glass, and prepare to go beyond the surface.
03:35Because here, we don't just talk, we transform.
03:39And now, here's your guide through it all, entrepreneur, mentor, and founder of Black Diamond Consultations, Laren Gaines.
03:47What's going on, everybody?
03:49Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome on in.
03:53Welcome to Reading Between the Wines.
03:55This is the first episode of 2026.
04:00First episode of Reading Between the Wines, of course, Disc Six Vitality.
04:09And I just want to say thank you all so much.
04:12I'm sure y'all are enjoying your new year so far.
04:17I'm going to get into it tonight with my special guest, author slash poet, Birdman313.
04:25I'm going to see what's going on in his neck of the woods, see how his new year is going.
04:30But I just want to say thank you so much to each and every one of you out there for coming through.
04:36The best thing that you can do, especially with this new format, this new show, this new process, is to use your virtual voice.
04:46Put it in the comments.
04:48Let me know where you're calling from.
04:50Let me know what you think about the show.
04:52Let me know what you think about the burning questions, what you think about the assignments that, you know, we go through night after night.
04:58And, of course, if you'd like to be a part of this as well, you can, you know, DM me and I can give you some more information on that.
05:06But before we get started, I most certainly cannot do this without my executive producer, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
05:15Thank you so much for giving me another opportunity to come out here to continue to grow and expand and, you know, just do what I'm here to do.
05:24And I want to say thank you for that.
05:27With that, let's get right on into it.
05:30So tonight's episode, Track 4, Comfort is Expensive.
05:37And Song of the Day was going to be Jill Scott.
05:40I heard Jill Scott has a new album out, by the way.
05:45I'm not going to say one thing one way or the other.
05:47I'll have to listen to the album to see.
05:49But the lead single that I heard so far, I don't know, Jill.
05:53I'm not really feeling that.
05:55But besides the point, I'm not going to get off track with that.
05:58But I did change it from Jill Scott.
06:00But we're going to follow up with Jill Scott a little later.
06:04Song of the Day.
06:06And I'm going into rock because typically, you know, I'm the hip hop and R&B guy.
06:11But yeah, Honesty by Billy Joel, 1970.
06:17I wasn't even born.
06:19But and that's considered rock.
06:22I consider it soft rock.
06:24I don't even consider it rock.
06:25But man, I love that joint.
06:29And when I was going through tonight's assignment, the only thing that I can think of is that you just have to be honest with yourself.
06:35And as I flow into this six vitality, there were some times where I wasn't even honest with myself.
06:45Even 2026 and this new year, I started it off.
06:51You know, here we are day seven.
06:54But I had to ask myself, are we really being honest with yourself, Laren?
07:00And are you really going to go into another year doing the same exact thing that you did in 2025?
07:07Did you like the results that you produced last year?
07:11And if not, you're going to have to be honest with yourself.
07:15So as we go through tonight's scenario, this song just makes so much sense.
07:22Honesty.
07:22And I know, you know, I remix it here.
07:24You know, he's, you know, love and, you know, relationships and stuff like that.
07:28But when I think about it, let's just get real with self.
07:32Let's just be honest with self.
07:34Take the lyrics that Billy Joel is, you know, putting out there and ask yourself, are you really being honest with yourself?
07:41Or are you just going to cover it up and go through the same thing over and over again?
07:46And that's exactly what I had to.
07:49And I'm still getting with myself as I am the person who I am right before you talking about vitality.
07:56So if this is what you're going to put out there in the universe, then I have to always remember that every day is not a perfect day.
08:03But I have to make sure and remind myself that I have to always practice what I teach.
08:08I can't come out here and say one thing one day and then do another.
08:12So that's what the whole thing is about when it comes to where I am right now in this space with vitality.
08:18I have to preserve and I have to protect every single thing that I have worked hard for.
08:25And each and every one of you out there, you have to do the same thing.
08:28We are here.
08:30Some people didn't make it, but we are here.
08:32And it is about protecting every single thing that you have every day that you get up.
08:38You have to protect it because there is an enemy that is coming to kill, steal and destroy and take away everything that you've worked hard for.
08:45Or I'm not even going to get into it this week on.
08:51I'm going to go in.
08:52Song of the day.
08:54Honesty, Billy Joel.
08:56Now, I am sampling Dornfelder, which is my favorite wine.
09:01And I figured, let me just kick off this show with my favorite wine.
09:07And that's exactly what I'm doing.
09:09It's the classic Dornfelder.
09:11You know that burgundy bottle.
09:13It doesn't have much on it.
09:14It's a true German wine.
09:16I've spoke about this several times on the show.
09:19It is 8% alcohol volume.
09:21And it is just one of my favorites.
09:24It's a red grape that is just going to give you just some amazing semi-sweet flavor.
09:29Or that's the only way that I could describe it.
09:32Go to your local wine shop.
09:35Ask for Dornfelder.
09:36They do make other different brands.
09:38But I do have the original.
09:40I don't even know how to describe it because it's in German writing.
09:44And I didn't get a chance to expand my German.
09:48That's a whole other story.
09:49But I did get an A in German.
09:52And again, that's a whole other story.
09:53And I'll talk about that later.
09:55F in Spanish, but an A in German.
09:58If you've stuck around here long enough, you'll know that story.
10:02So I am going to sip and, you know, casually as we go throughout this episode here tonight.
10:09And in the meantime, I'm going to bring in my friend, author slash poet, Birdman313.
10:19What's going on?
10:20How you doing?
10:21All right.
10:21How you doing?
10:24I'm doing great.
10:25I'm doing great tonight.
10:26I'm feeling.
10:29Go ahead.
10:31No, I'm just saying that's great, man.
10:33It's good you know you're feeling that way.
10:35It's a, you know, I'm not going to get into it, but they call it the new year.
10:42So I'll just for the sake of what we're doing here tonight, I'll say.
10:49What do you feel about the new year?
10:52So far.
10:54It's had as good and bad, but I'm not complaining, man.
10:59So on my end, it's just been, it's been good.
11:05It's just the world out there that just seems to continue to get worse and worse.
11:12I don't know if you remember, but I did tell you that 2026 wasn't planned.
11:17And the powers that be sure did not waste any time.
11:22It's only day seven.
11:24Yeah.
11:25Yeah.
11:26Yeah.
11:27Cutting up already.
11:28Oh, yeah.
11:29But seriously, people, you got to listen to the things that we talk about here on the
11:37show, because this is reality and ain't nobody going to save you but yourself.
11:42So that's right.
11:45And we ain't seen nothing yet.
11:48Hey, man, that jazz part that was playing before we came on.
11:54What's the name of that, man?
11:56It's proprietary information, so I don't even have it.
12:03I can't even.
12:04Oh, okay.
12:04The best thing, the best thing that I could tell you is that when you hear it come on again,
12:09if you have the Shazam app on your phone, Shazam it the next time.
12:15Oh, okay.
12:15Okay.
12:15Okay.
12:15Um, yeah, this, uh, this season I'm going to do more like more mellow, more R&B type jazz
12:27type music this time around.
12:29Yeah, see, that's something, that's something I can listen to and write and work on videos
12:34with that music right there.
12:38Yeah, Shazam it.
12:39Um, but yeah, pay attention this season because it's going to be more soulful, jazzy, R&B type
12:47stuff.
12:48Yeah.
12:48I like that.
12:49I got you, got you, got you.
12:53All right.
12:53So what's up?
12:54What's up with the weather out there?
12:56How are we doing?
12:5682.
12:59Wow.
13:00You know, 82 degrees.
13:04Yes.
13:05So I have been in deep freeze for about maybe two or three weeks.
13:09It's been a little, and I had a nerve to drop the four letter word a couple of days.
13:15And, but it was almost 50 degrees today.
13:19And I was actually outside at 48 degrees saying it's nice out here.
13:23That lets you know how cold it's been.
13:26Yeah.
13:27That when it starts to warm up just a little bit, I'm out there thinking that it's nice.
13:33And it was like degrees.
13:34Okay.
13:35Have you seen some of the pictures I posted just this new year, uh, last couple of weeks?
13:41I have, I think I saw one or two of them.
13:44Yeah.
13:45Yeah.
13:45Okay.
13:45Uh, I'm getting out, I'm getting around.
13:50Um, that's good.
13:51It's a park, this park we found by accident.
13:55And when I say, man, ooh, we, man, we go out there and it's, when I say peaceful, oh man,
14:04it's so peaceful.
14:05So I've been taking pictures, um, shooting, shooting some videos.
14:11I just did, um, a poem that I'm going to use for a video that I shot out there.
14:19And I'm thinking about, uh, taking some of the, um, uh, using a picture from there for
14:27my next book cover.
14:28Oh, that's awesome.
14:31Yeah.
14:31That's awesome.
14:32That's real nice.
14:33Yeah.
14:35Yeah.
14:36It's, it's, you know, so mystical that you, uh, brought that up because I was going to do
14:42Jill Scott today and she has a song called a long walk.
14:46And, um, that's just what I've been waiting for.
14:49Like I'm waiting for this weather to just, and I know it's only January, but I just, sometimes
14:54I'm just like, I can't, I can't with it.
14:58Yeah.
14:58Like, like the day has been the lowest because it's been like for the last couple of weeks,
15:04like 85, 84, 85.
15:08And then it dropped down to 82.
15:11Listen, I'll take any of that.
15:15Anything 80 and above I'm all right.
15:19I mean, I couldn't believe in the Bahamas.
15:21It was 77, 76.
15:24Most of the time.
15:25That's something, something else, man.
15:27Yeah.
15:29But in any case, all right.
15:33So now we had retired, um, our book last year.
15:40I can't even believe I'm saying last year.
15:42So we're already into a new year.
15:44So we are going to do the do's and don'ts of money by Ms. Susie Orman.
15:50So give me a number, give me a number.
15:55Give me a number.
15:56Let's say,
15:58yeah, start at three and we can go to about 133.
16:10There you go.
16:10Three to a hundred and actually we can go even further than that.
16:14We can go to about a hundred and 60.
16:23Okay.
16:24I'm going to give you a number 20, 20.
16:27Okay.
16:28Let's see what we got for 20.
16:29You know what?
16:30I'm going to do my due diligence this time around and start marking.
16:33So I don't, we don't repeat the same thing over and over again.
16:37All right.
16:38So now we're going to get into the don'ts.
16:42This is don't be in a rush to cancel your credit cards.
16:46The length of your credit history account is 50% of your FICO credit score.
16:51If you were to cancel a card with a long history, that could be a ding on your credit score.
16:56That said, it makes little sense to keep a card that charges a high interest fee, excuse me, a high annual fee.
17:03That said, it makes little sense to keep a card that charges a high annual fee.
17:08If you have other cards with established histories, it can be okay to cancel one card.
17:14Just don't cancel a bunch all at once.
17:17The other issue with canceling a card is that it will change your total credit limit and that will impact your debt to credit limit score.
17:25For example, if you cancel a card with a $5,000 credit limit, your total credit limit will be reduced by $5,000.
17:33This will likely cause your debt to credit limit ratio to rise.
17:38So, how do you feel about that?
17:42I don't have to worry about that because I don't have no credit card that said hi.
17:47But that's good though because everybody has a hard time.
17:54When they get a credit card, they just use it foolishly.
17:59So, that's a good learning there to have or to know.
18:08In that, I spoke about this before.
18:13It is not wise to cancel your oldest credit card.
18:17So, keep the oldest one open.
18:21Again, do your own due diligence.
18:23I am not a financial advisor.
18:24I'm not a financial planner.
18:26I am a financial coach.
18:28And, of course, I have done my research and I've done, you know, the things that I need to do.
18:33All I'm doing is just bringing to you what I know.
18:36If you're out there listening, you have to do your own due diligence.
18:39But from what I know, keep the oldest credit card open, number one.
18:45And you had such a profound statement when you said that somewhere along the lines that if you don't know how to handle a credit card,
18:55if you have a problem with spending, then maybe that's just not for you.
19:01And credit cards will actually help you if you know how to use them the right way.
19:06They can bring money into your situation or they can take money away.
19:10So, if you know how to use them the right way, it could bring money into your situation.
19:15But if you don't know how to use it, it most certainly can take away.
19:20You know, you're right, because I have two bank credit cards.
19:25And I was talking with one of the I was talking with him about canceling one of them.
19:31That's the one that has the least amount.
19:34And she said, no, it won't go against your credit.
19:37But I haven't canceled it.
19:39I use, you know, like if I'm going to stop, like when I go see my sons in San Antonio or when I go to Austin, it's a meat market I go to.
19:49You know, and I get me some food and some snacks and stuff.
19:53And it normally, what, what, about $50 worth, maybe more since everything going up.
20:00But I spend no more than, the most I ever spent there has been like, I could say $60.
20:09I'll use, I'll use that credit card just for that.
20:14And, you know, I'll get it.
20:16But I pay it off, too.
20:17I don't, you know, pay it like this in the minimum is, you know, like $5 or $15 or $30 or $40.
20:24I just pay the whole thing off.
20:27Absolutely.
20:28Yep.
20:29Yeah.
20:30Yeah.
20:32All right.
20:32So that's pretty good.
20:34Again, credit cards, I can go on for the whole hour just on credit cards.
20:40But if you're, if you're interested in more information, if you're out there listening, I do a bunch of different classes.
20:48I do private group sessions on Instagram.
20:51I also do a live Q&A session as well.
20:53This is the year.
20:55Definitely get in touch with me.
20:57Get in contact with people who have been through my sessions.
20:59And, yeah, you definitely want to tap in because I'm excited.
21:05I have a lot more to unfold and show and explore to everybody who is interested.
21:12And I'll get into that later.
21:13The keyword is everyone who is interested.
21:16So.
21:16All right.
21:19So we're going to go to Oakland, California.
21:21We have Mr. Marcus that we're going to help out.
21:26So.
21:28Let's get into this.
21:29I want to talk tonight about budgeting because, you know, that's so important.
21:35Here it is January.
21:36January, we got away from the holidays and sometimes our money can get away from us when we're so caught up in the material aspect of what we just got finished dealing with.
21:50So.
21:52Let's get into this here.
21:53So Marcus says.
21:56Laren, Wednesdays are usually when it hits me.
21:59By the time I make it through the work week, I'm mentally fried.
22:02I don't want to cook.
22:04I don't want to think.
22:05I just want something that feels good.
22:07So I order food, drinks, and sometimes both.
22:11It started as a once in a while thing.
22:14Now it's a routine.
22:16DoorDash knows my name.
22:17The bartender knows my usual.
22:20My bank account knows it, too.
22:22And even if I pretend not to.
22:25I tell myself I deserve it.
22:28I work hard.
22:29I show up.
22:30I handle my responsibilities.
22:31But if I'm honest, I'm not resting.
22:34I'm escaping.
22:35I've got credit card debt that came from a small decision that I don't want to sit with.
22:41Forty dollars here.
22:43Sixty five dollars there.
22:45Nothing dramatic.
22:45Just consistent.
22:47I don't feel reckless.
22:48I feel numb.
22:49And spending gives me a break from thinking about how lonely and unfulfilled I feel most nights.
22:55I don't know how to wind down without spending money.
22:58Okay, I'll say that again.
23:01I don't know how to wind down without spending money I don't have.
23:05And I don't know how to face myself without distractions.
23:08Is budgeting supposed to fix this?
23:10Or is this something deeper?
23:12I've been avoiding, Marcus.
23:14So, Birdman, what do you think about this letter here?
23:22You know, I thought about it.
23:26Because he's not blaming nobody else.
23:29That's one of the good things.
23:31He's blaming himself.
23:32And I just feel like he has no discipline as far as when it comes down to having a credit card.
23:42He used a credit card like most of us did when we was young.
23:47And I can say that.
23:49And some people forget.
23:52Yeah, you use the credit card, but you got to pay it back.
23:55You know, a lot of people forget about that.
23:59Every time you use the credit card, you got to pay that back.
24:06So, I mean, it's nothing wrong with, you know, eating out or having food brought to you every once in a while.
24:14But when you start making it a regular habit, then that's when you have issues.
24:20And it sounds more like he's trying to impress not just one person,
24:27but he's trying to impress everybody in that area, that he can do this and he can do that.
24:35Even though, like he said, it's $45, $65.
24:38But how many times do you use that credit card and spend $45 or $65?
24:46You know, and it just seems like he has, it's all on him.
24:55He has to learn how to discipline himself.
24:58And that's one of the hardest things to do.
25:02And I found that out myself because, you know,
25:06I couldn't hold on to a credit card for more than three years.
25:10But now I don't have that issue because I've disciplined myself to only spend my credit card sparingly.
25:23And, you know, I don't just for everything.
25:26I mean, you know, I use, I use the little money that I have in the bank.
25:30Because like I said, once you use the card, you got to pay it back anyway.
25:33And if he's having issues with this, what he needs to do is, first of all, how many, how many credit cards he have?
25:44And he needs to just not, like you said, don't close the account.
25:49But he needs to probably take them out of his wallet and leave them at home or in a safe, you know,
25:58like in a safe place for like a month and, you know, and just see what happens.
26:08Interesting.
26:09Interesting.
26:10Hmm.
26:11Well, you definitely hit some good spots.
26:14And let's see if we're on the same page as far as my thought process on this.
26:20So I'm going to take it to the top here.
26:23Um, and again, not a financial advisor, not a financial planner.
26:30I'm a financial coach.
26:31And, um, I'm just going to give you my, my thought process on it.
26:37So Mr. Marcus from Oakland, California says Wednesday are usually when it hits me.
26:44That's interesting.
26:45Before we get into this, Mr. Marcus, don't be trying to blame reading between the wines,
26:50wine down Wednesday for what happens because that's not the case here, sir.
26:58We're going to, we're going to clean that up in 2026.
27:01All these, oh, wine down Wednesday is when it starts happening.
27:06No, no, no, no.
27:07Song of the day, honesty.
27:09Let's be honest with ourself.
27:10Let's start with that.
27:12Um, mentally fried.
27:15One thing that I'm really going to focus on when it comes to, you know, my classes and focusing this year is we have to be very careful about the things that we speak over our lives.
27:26When we say things like that, that's exactly what's going to show up in your world.
27:30So be very careful with what you say about yourself.
27:33Even if that truly is the case, just, you have to speak something positive into your world for it to come into existence.
27:42That's, that's the first thing that I would say.
27:45Um, you don't want to cook.
27:47You don't want to think all of these things that you're saying, it's just already starting off to be a disaster.
27:53And I hate to say it like that, but you keep saying that you don't want to do these things.
27:58And that's exactly what it's going to be.
28:00Um, so that is something right there.
28:03And then that would be no wonder why you're ordering food and be very careful.
28:08Like Birdman, you said, it's okay to treat yourself here and there.
28:11I get that.
28:13But when you start to order from these restaurants and these things, it could become very addictive.
28:18And that's something that you'll want to do all the time.
28:21So be very careful about that.
28:23And it is about discipline.
28:25It is about honesty, getting honest with yourself.
28:28Um, like you says, it started with a once in a while thing.
28:33Now it's everything door dash.
28:35And this is what, listen, everybody, this is exactly what it's about.
28:40They're making it easy for you to do things like this.
28:44And the quickest way is through your stomach.
28:48Just, just putting it out there.
28:51And I do agree.
28:53He's trying to impress somebody.
28:55I don't know who it is, but you're trying to impress somebody.
28:58The credit card debt came in small decisions, you know, $40 here, $60.5 there.
29:07Nothing dramatic.
29:09Are you kidding me?
29:11$40 here, $60.
29:12Listen, I think that that's dramatic.
29:15I think that's out of control.
29:17$40 here, $65 there on food.
29:19I don't know.
29:20That's just me.
29:22That's just me.
29:24I don't know.
29:25That's just me.
29:27You don't feel reckless.
29:30I don't know what else to call it.
29:34I think that that's reckless when you're spending here, there.
29:38And when you're saying that it's nothing big, little here, there.
29:44All of that's going to add up, which it has been adding up.
29:47You don't know how to wind down without spending money.
29:54That's a problem.
29:55A lot of people don't know how to do a lot of things without spending money.
29:58And that's a problem.
29:59I can't go on vacation without spending a whole bunch of money.
30:02I can't, you know, go out and enjoy a good evening.
30:06You know, I can't go out on a date without spending excessive amounts of money.
30:11That is a problem.
30:13All the way around, that's a problem.
30:15So the name of the game is to try to find ways to do things without spending that much money.
30:22If you went out on a date and I'm just making this up and you spent $100,
30:25try to challenge yourself.
30:27Okay, next time we go out on a date, let's, you know, try to cut that in half.
30:32But the key is to be in company with somebody who's on the same page as you,
30:36who would value that and wants to grow with you in a positive way.
30:42If you are linked up with somebody who does not have the same values as you,
30:48it's going to be a problem.
30:49And I was just thinking this as I was reflecting on my own life.
30:54What beauty it is when you can make a decision to say, absolutely not.
30:59This time around, these are some standards.
31:03These are some boundaries.
31:04And if you don't meet that, then you're just not the person who gets access.
31:08Instead of going along with the plan, just to say that I'm in a relationship,
31:13going along with the plan, just to say you want to be with somebody.
31:17And then if you were anything like me, after you get wrapped up and trapped up into this situation,
31:22you're asking yourself, how the hell do I get out of it?
31:25And I don't like you anymore, but there's some benefits behind it.
31:30So we go ahead and we play the game.
31:33You know, we go ahead and we play the game just to get the benefits.
31:36And yeah, that's a whole nother story.
31:38But is budgeting supposed to fix this?
31:43Absolutely.
31:43But that's only part of it.
31:46I feel that there are some spiritual work that needs to happen.
31:52There definitely is some mental work that needs to happen about how dig, dig deeper into how do you.
31:59I got to get my words right, dig deeper to get to the root cause of how you feel about money.
32:08What were, who taught you about money as a child?
32:12What did you experience?
32:14Because apparently somebody showed you that this type of behavior when it comes to spending money is okay.
32:19And for all of us out there, whatever we're experiencing with money, our parents taught us that.
32:30And you can unlearn some of these things because our parents only knew what they knew.
32:34Our grandparents knew only what they knew.
32:36They did the best that they could possibly do.
32:37That does not mean that just because they did it, oh, it's tradition.
32:41You know, we're coming out of these holidays.
32:43Tradition, let's just keep doing it because it's tradition.
32:46And you got to be very careful with these traditions and things that we were taught.
32:50Sometimes you got to unsubscribe from some things.
32:53You got to unlearn some things.
32:54You got to unfollow some things.
32:56And you have to reprogram your mind if you want to set yourself up for success.
33:00So that's that's what I have.
33:04Birdman, what else do you have here?
33:06Yeah, you said some good things, too.
33:10That's why I was saying that it's the neighborhood or because like growing up.
33:16There were certain people you seen that I know I can say I seen that, you know, it seemed like they had their life together.
33:23They always had money, you know, always had money.
33:28Nice vehicle, dress nice, you know.
33:31And those same guys, 10 years afterwards, I seen them and I'm like, hey, man, what happened?
33:43You know, what happened?
33:44As you see them and they're walking now, they're dressing, looking like a bomb.
33:49And you can't impress everybody because a lot of people would misuse you because if they know if you're willing to spend money like that, trying to show off, you can get misused.
34:06You can get robbed like that, too.
34:08Oh, no, that's right.
34:12Yeah.
34:12And so, you know, I just said as far as he.
34:20Yeah.
34:21Like you said, somebody he's seen.
34:23He's seen that from somebody.
34:27And like I said, especially in the neighborhood, because I know in my neighborhood, there was guys all they always, always had money.
34:34They always dressed in nice clothes, had nice vehicles.
34:38And, you know, it's like, oh, man, I want to be like that.
34:43You know, you see a lot of guys, we say, oh, I want to be like that, man.
34:47I want to be like that.
34:49And.
34:51And then a few years later, you see him and you sit back and say, hey, man, what happened to him?
34:58All that glitter is not gold.
35:00That's for sure.
35:01Mm hmm.
35:02And, you know, that's one thing that's missing in school is the teaching of how to spend money or the value of money.
35:16Oh, yeah.
35:17Oh, yeah.
35:17It's done on purpose.
35:18It's done.
35:19You know, I hear people.
35:21This is one of the things I always hear people say, well, I'm going to spend my money today because tomorrow ain't promise.
35:28I used to hear that.
35:29And there was a couple of times I walked through the house and I'll spend my money today because tomorrow ain't promise.
35:36And my mom used to always say, she said, yeah, but when tomorrow do get here and you still here and you don't have nothing, what you're going to do?
35:45Yeah.
35:45And, you know, that's the most ignorant thing that a person can say, especially if you have children and you have family that you're leaving behind because it even costs to die.
35:56Yeah. So the fact that you would sit here and take all your money and spend it because that's what you're doing.
36:01And, you know, another ignorant phase phrase is you can't take it with you, which is true.
36:08But.
36:09OK, so you take it all and you spend it all.
36:12And so you leave your family to struggle with how to bury you because.
36:16Yeah, that's that's some ignorant stuff right there.
36:20Yeah.
36:20Or or you hear.
36:22Like I said, I heard a lot of guy, even even today, I hear people, you know, saying, you know, it's my money.
36:29I worked hard for it.
36:31I sweated out there.
36:32So I must spend it the way I want to spend it.
36:34But then, you know, later on, they be sitting back and you see them, like I said, they got they got their hands out or they don't.
36:43Hey, man, hey, what's been going on?
36:45Oh, man.
36:46The wife left me.
36:47The kids left me.
36:49You know, they left me with the dog and the dog eat more than what I eat.
36:52You know, stuff like that, you know.
36:55And I mean, I and I've heard that even up to the day of people saying and I'm like, yeah, man, I worked hard, too.
37:05But, you know, I'm looking at like you said, I had kids.
37:10I got grandkids.
37:12And.
37:14I always tell my son, there's going to be a rainy day.
37:19Oh, absolutely.
37:20And, you know, like I said, I didn't know I used to hear that from the old folks.
37:26Oh, yeah, you better save something up for a rainy day.
37:29You better save something up for a rainy day.
37:32Hell is a rainy day.
37:34You know, I'm thinking I'm thinking actually rain coming down.
37:38But now it's not that type of rainy day.
37:41It's like I know the first time I actually hurt my back where I couldn't work.
37:47And that's when I said, no, it was my knee.
37:53That's what it was.
37:54I was out playing ball, showing off.
37:58Of course, dunking and clowning and showing off and not really taking it serious.
38:05And I messed up my knee.
38:07I had to go have knee surgery.
38:09And I'm sitting there and I was supposed to go try out a professional tryout and I couldn't go.
38:20And the bills was coming in.
38:26Wife at the time.
38:29Raising hell.
38:30The kids, they want this.
38:32They want that.
38:34And I'm sitting there, you know, bank account.
38:37Tom, my is triple zeros.
38:39No, you know, nothing in it.
38:41And then that's when I sit back and I thought about it.
38:46I said, OK, I see what a rainy day is now.
38:50You know, it was it was really it had to happen for me to understand it.
38:57Right.
38:57Right.
38:58I know exactly what.
39:00And that's it, too.
39:01That's that's so profound that you said that, because last year I got to be so honest because I we talk about honesty.
39:09Right.
39:09So I am focused on pushing my business so hard and the people that I thought would come aboard.
39:20They didn't.
39:21And going out of twenty five into twenty six towards the tail end, like especially during the holidays, I realized that, you know what, you can't force people to see things that they can't see.
39:35And I can't get upset at people.
39:37So so they got to learn on their own.
39:41So I told just like I had to learn on my own.
39:43I was in and out of debt three times and I was like, all right, you got me out this last time.
39:50I can't go back in because if I do, then you may not help me get out of this.
39:54So, yeah, you're absolutely right.
39:56And but again, I didn't wake up until I was 40 years old.
40:01So I can't get, you know, crazy people who are still on their journey learning.
40:08So, yeah.
40:10And, you know, that that happened with me, even it has happened to me.
40:17And I think, you know, the last time it really got me was when I was in my 50s and I was me and it was some guy.
40:26We were supposed to be supposed to be working together.
40:29One guy was having air freshener.
40:32The other guy was having making scented candles.
40:35And I had the poetry books.
40:37And one of the guys knew this lady out at one of the malls and she was opening up a lingerie shop.
40:50And so, like, we could put our merchandise in there.
40:55And she trusted she was like trustworthy, everybody, because she was a former police.
41:03Her husband was a policeman.
41:04So she gave all of us a key to the store.
41:08I told that's when I told, no, I don't want no key to the store.
41:11I'll come out here doing business hours.
41:14Oh, no, no, no.
41:16And I said, I just just some things.
41:20One of the guys who had the key and that was that's who we met.
41:25How we met him was through him.
41:28He went there.
41:30He stole he stole what books I had out there.
41:33He stole the guys' air fresheners.
41:37He's, you know, he took his candles back.
41:39And he stole a bunch of stuff from the lingerie shop.
41:44And when I finally found out where he was at, he was in Atlanta.
41:51And some of my friends, you know, they was telling me, they said, dude, I mean, y'all got a good nice little business going.
41:58Because with the poetry and the air freshener and the scenic candles and the lingerie.
42:06He said, he said, I mean, you know, I was going to, you know, book festivals.
42:12And I was taking products with me and I was selling them.
42:16And it was, it was working out really, really cool.
42:19But he was like, he wanted fast money.
42:26You know, and that's what, that's what, that's all one of my friends.
42:30He said, he said, hey, man, he said, this dude here, fast money.
42:33He said, he said, he came over and we talked with us and said, we told him, man, what y'all doing?
42:40He said, man, y'all, y'all got a nice little business going on there.
42:45And he said, and then the guy, when I seen my friend, he kind of like, he didn't know it.
42:55And he went around to the guy's parents' house.
42:58And which I knew his parents because they stayed in the same neighborhood that my parents lived in.
43:05And they told him, they said, they didn't even know it.
43:08They said, he had a house, man.
43:10He walked out the house and left it with his girlfriend.
43:15And she's sitting up there thinking that she, he going to help her with the bills.
43:20And then she went out, she said, she went out in the garage and looked for some candles and they was gone.
43:28Yeah, this dude clean house on everything.
43:30That's craziness.
43:31Yes.
43:32Yes.
43:32And from that point on, I'm like, okay.
43:35I don't, I don't want to really try to get off into that no more.
43:40And that's why I'm so leery about people, you know, let's go in business together.
43:46Nah, I'm not going in business with you.
43:48You do your thing.
43:49I do mine.
43:51I know that's right.
43:53I know that's right.
43:54You are in control of your own destiny.
43:57Right.
43:57Now, sometimes it's good.
43:59If you got it, you, you have to be the, again, with like-minded people.
44:05What the thing that you have to ask.
44:07And I asked myself this question is what do they have to lose?
44:10Have anything to lose?
44:11Because if they don't have anything to lose, then yeah, you need to be very careful.
44:14But if they have a business and they've established themselves and they have something to lose, they have a reputation.
44:20They built something up and they're on the same page as you.
44:24Okay.
44:25Because then it makes sense.
44:26But when you linked up with people who are not on the same page with you, you got to be very careful.
44:31Because listen, they trying to come up and they don't, don't you be their next come up.
44:37Right.
44:37That's why I'm thinking like this guy, that's the way, you know, he has, he has no control over his spending.
44:45And he, like I said, he's trying to impress the neighborhood that he's in.
44:51Everybody think that, oh, you know, it's always somebody like that.
44:56You can't tell them nothing until they get totally, totally broke.
45:01Yeah.
45:02And they down on their luck, you know, and then they, they walking around, you know, how my mom used to say, ass hanging out.
45:11You know, that's how she used to put it.
45:16And then that's when they realized what they had, they messed it up.
45:22Because my dad always said, he said, oh, people will be around you when you have money.
45:30He said, tell them you broke and see how many people want to be around you.
45:36Right.
45:36Right.
45:36And, yeah, so, and then, you know, I seen how tight my dad, oh, my dad was squeaky tight, man.
45:43Oh, we, I, I couldn't borrow, hey, man, if I say, hey, man, can I get $5?
45:48Don't you have a job?
45:49Yeah.
45:49Okay, then get the $5 from the job.
45:53Yeah, we're going to have to, we're going to have to have a conversation one day about parents, grandparents and grandparents when it comes to money.
46:02Yeah, but that's, you know, like I said, when I read this, this piece here, and it brought me back to all the things, you know, what I seen growing up brought me back to when, like I said, I know it kind of got off about, you know, how trying to put things together.
46:22But, you know, that happens, and it's possible that's what's happening with him.
46:28He's trying to invest with somebody, or I guess you can call it investing, or he's trying to go along with somebody, and he's getting used.
46:39He's getting used some kind of way.
46:41You know what I say about Mr. Marcus?
46:43He's using himself.
46:45You know, that's a good point, too.
46:48A lot of times we think, and I know we got to get out of here soon, a lot of times we think that people are doing stuff to us, but in reality, we're doing it to ourselves.
46:59Yeah.
47:00He's done.
47:01You know, we, you know, this is a good way to end this here.
47:06Someone once told me, Laren, we write our own stories.
47:10You can either write positive things, or you can write negative things.
47:12And that's all in the mind and the thought process, too.
47:16You can either think positive things or negative things.
47:18You can speak positive things, or you can speak negative things.
47:21And along those lines, when you do any of those things, that's exactly what you're going to attract in your world.
47:28So nobody did this to Marcus but Marcus.
47:33Have you ever been to Oakland, California?
47:36I have not.
47:37I've been to California, but not Oakland.
47:38Okay.
47:40Yeah.
47:40That's why when I read this, I kind of like, okay, this dude here, I know what's up.
47:44I know what's up in here.
47:46Yeah.
47:47Oakland.
47:47I've been there.
47:49And, hey, man, it's sweet.
47:51We know what it is when you hear Oakland.
47:53Yeah.
47:54We know exactly what it is.
47:56Yeah.
47:57All right.
47:58Real quick.
48:00Can you let us know what you got going on this week before we get out of here?
48:03Yeah.
48:04Yes, yes, yes.
48:05I'm working on my next poetry book.
48:07Like, I started, I always said I was going to start in January working on it.
48:12So I've started with, I'm working because the poems are done.
48:19Now all I got to do is go in there and put the index together.
48:24Make sure that some of the poems that I have are not in other books.
48:31That's what I've been doing today with, you know, along with the index.
48:35And tomorrow it's a podcast that I do out of Haverstock, New Jersey.
48:41And tomorrow we're, you know, meeting up for our little group.
48:47And this is how we talk, same way, you know, we do here.
48:50And then Saturday afternoon, I got a reading on Zoom out of Brooklyn, New York, Artful Dodgers.
49:03And Sunday, Saturday evening, it's called Perform as Poets out of Florida.
49:12And I have a reading.
49:15So, you know, I'm busy all this week, which is good.
49:20That's good.
49:21That's good.
49:22And you can, you know, you can get my books at Amazon.com, Birdman313.
49:30You can go to Instagram, Birdman31355.
49:37You can go to YouTube, author, poet, Birdman31355.
49:45You can go to Spotify.
49:49And if you see Coffee, Wine, and Words, I have some videos on there.
49:58That's what's up.
49:59That's what's up.
50:00Next time, maybe we can, I want you to think about, maybe you can read something next week, maybe.
50:09Or if not next week, in some of the weeks coming up.
50:12So, think about it.
50:13When you get these.
50:15Just tell me when, man.
50:17I got plenty of stuff to read.
50:19Well, when you get the assignments, if anything resonates, makes sense, just give me a heads up and we'll work it in.
50:28Okay.
50:28We'll do it that way.
50:30Okay.
50:32And on that note, we got to get out of here.
50:34So, we hit our time limit and we get our show posted and up because we definitely want to kick off 2026 the right way.
50:42So, again, I appreciate you coming through.
50:45You all always have great insight.
50:48And this was a great show tonight.
50:50I really did enjoy this.
50:51You have something Sunday, don't you?
50:58Oh, absolutely.
50:59I have the financial wellness private Instagram on Sunday at 1 p.m.
51:05And then the next week, I have the live Q&A session.
51:10Okay.
51:10And, yeah.
51:12Okay.
51:13This Sunday, 1 p.m.
51:14For the private group.
51:16Anybody that's interested, I have one spot left.
51:18So, if you want to get in, just DM me, text me, email me.
51:23And I want to try to get one more person into that spot.
51:27Yeah.
51:28I thought so.
51:28Yeah.
51:28Yeah.
51:29I need to write that down so I don't forget.
51:31Because I know I got that one meeting Sunday.
51:34So.
51:35Yeah.
51:35I'll definitely remind you, of course.
51:37But, all right, we want to go ahead and get out of here.
51:41You have a good evening.
51:42Take care.
51:43Stay, be safe and all of that good stuff.
51:45And I'll talk to you soon.
51:47Yeah.
51:47You do the same, man.
51:49Okay.
51:49Take care.
51:50Good night.
51:51Yeah.
51:52Good night.
51:55All right, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.
51:57That was author Birdman313.
51:59Thank you all so much for joining.
52:01We are going to get on up out of here.
52:03The burning question for reflection that I have tonight is,
52:06what are you paying for comfort that rest and honesty could provide for free?
52:13Once again, what are you paying for comfort that rest and honesty could provide for free?
52:18Sometimes we do a lot of different things and we put ourselves into situations and we try to do the most when,
52:25you know what, if we were just honest with ourselves and we were just straight up,
52:30we got a lot of money and we could save ourselves a lot of headaches
52:33and not sitting out here trying to prove and make a point and show and prove for everybody else.
52:41We need to start being honest with ourselves and showing up for ourselves.
52:45So on that note, I will see y'all when I see you.
52:49Thank you so much for joining.
52:50Please head on over to laryngaines.com.
52:52If you're interested in the free 15-minute consultation,
52:56if you're interested in anything that has to do with debt-free living from the spiritual,
53:01mental, physical, and financial realms,
53:04definitely check me out at laryngaines.com.
53:08And yeah, we possibly can help you out.
53:12But again, it's up to you.
53:14It has everything to do with you.
53:17And very little to do with me, but everything to do with you.
53:21So on that note, I will see you when I see you.
53:24Thank you so much.
53:25Y'all have a good night.
53:27Five, four, three, two, one.
53:33And that's a wrap on today's episode of the 411 podcast and reading between the wines,
53:38where growth is always on the menu and every pour reveals a little more truth.
53:43The conversation doesn't end here.
53:45Have something to say?
53:48Want to weigh in on tonight's burning questions?
53:50Text us anytime at the official 411 podcast and reading between the wines hotline at 609-200-1098.
54:00Stay plugged in across all social media platforms at Laryngaines.
54:04We're live and in a conversation on Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, DLive, Twitch,
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54:13Prefer to listen on the go?
54:14The audio version is streaming on most major podcast outlets.
54:19Until we meet again, take what you've learned, sip slow, speak truth, and remember,
54:24transformation starts within.
54:27Powered by the Black Diamond Consultations Network.
54:29Look at the Black Diamond Consultation Network.
54:32And some of the likely work in the negative roles with the American Fundfighters hierby.
54:34And the most of the work in the film at that gallery is in Ezekiel team.
54:35We see you next time.
54:35We'll be with you next time.
54:36Bye-bye.
54:36Thanks again.
54:36Bye-bye.
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54:38Bye-bye.
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54:40Bye-bye.
54:43We'll be with you now.
54:44Bye-bye.
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54:49Bye-bye.
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54:57Bye-bye be, bye-bye.
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