The Childhood Bill You're Still Paying | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 29) - video Dailymotion

Lerin Gaines

The Childhood Bill You're Still Paying | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 29)   Featuring: Wine Down Wednesday, Mentorship Series   Wednesday | May 13, 2026   Streaming LIVE on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES   https://leringaines.com  https://linktr.ee/leringaines  https://www.facebook.com/leringaines  http://instagram.com/leringaines  https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines  http://twitter.com/leringaines  https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines  https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines  https://kick.com/leringaines  https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines   Song of The Day: "Talk To Me" by Mary J. Blige  Released 2007 | Growing Pains   Burning Questions for Reflections!  Are your financial decisions coming from present-day wisdom - or old survivial emotions that never healed?   Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions...  Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com   DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, KICK, Twitch, DailyMotion)   Sign up for my FREE Monthly Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!   Subscribe now at LerinGaines.com   #Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #KICK #Twitch #DailyMotion #DebtFreeLiving #FinancialCoach #LerinGaines #411Podcast #RBTW #ReadingBetweenTheWines #BurningQuestions #BlackDiamondConsultations #VacationWithMe #WhispersofWisdom #DISC6 #Vitality   DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.   411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines  DISC 6: Vitality  Track 29: The Childhood Bill You're Still Paying  ©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network  LerinGaines.com

Transcript

02:59Mentally, physically, and emotionally.

03:02Every episode is a part of a journey across our weekly mentorship series.

03:07Spiritual Sundays, Mental Mondays, Transformational Tuesdays, Wind-Down Wednesdays, Coaching Sessions Thursdays, and Financial Fridays.

03:17Each day holds space for wisdom, clarity, and real conversations.

03:22So, grab your journal, pour your glass, and prepare to go beyond the surface.

03:28Deep inside we don't just talk, we transform lives.

03:31And now, here's your guide through it all.

03:34Entrepreneur, mentor, and financial coach, Laren Gaines.

03:50What's going on, what's going on, y'all?

03:53Welcome, welcome, welcome on in to another episode of Reading Between the Wines.

04:00I want to say thank you all so much for joining.

04:04Thank you, Facebook, YouTube, Spotify, Twitch, wherever you're listening in, especially if you're listening first thing in the morning.

04:16I definitely want to say thank you so much.

04:19I really, really, really do appreciate you.

04:22And I see you out there.

04:24I definitely see what's going on out there.

04:27So, thank you so much.

04:30Before we move forward, of course, I have to give a very special thank you to my executive producer.

04:36I want to thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, for allowing me and giving me another opportunity to come

04:43out here and give you this podcast.

04:46Because through all the ups and the downs and I'm not sure, and do we move forward, do we pause,

04:56through all of that, I definitely want to say thank you so much.

05:00Because it ain't easy.

05:04It ain't easy.

05:06And we're still here.

05:08And that's only through the grace of God that I'm still here.

05:12So, we got a lot to cover tonight.

05:15We really do.

05:17Track 29, the childhood bill you're still paying for.

05:22See, we're going to talk tonight.

05:24And I want to know, can we talk?

05:27And the problem is sometimes when we don't talk.

05:31So, can we talk tonight?

05:34Can we talk tonight?

05:36We want to talk about how your childhood experiences with money, it shapes your adult financial behaviors.

05:45See, the things that we went through and that we experienced when we were children shows up in our adult

05:53life, in our adult world.

05:56And the problem becomes is when we don't talk about it.

06:00See, certain households, I'm not sure what you grew up with, but I know in my community, you know, it's

06:09that saying of what goes on in this house stays in this house.

06:13And that, I want to say that manifests into scarcity mindset, especially when it comes to money, and it will

06:28block your growth, and you will remain in that stuck position if you don't challenge the conventional thinking.

06:39Yeah, we're going to talk tonight.

06:41All right, episode 29, the childhood bill you're still paying for.

06:45Now, yes, this is Wind Down Wednesday, but I have to let you know that I have been on this

06:52streak where I'm just not sampling anything right now.

06:57But I'm still bringing the wisdom, still bringing, I know I said I was going to sample something this week,

07:04but I do have a nice fresh bottle of Zippendale waiting for when that moment arrives.

07:11And I think that this is the most, I guess this is a shift in the show because it doesn't

07:20necessarily have to, you know, be what it is every single week.

07:25I know some people look forward to it, so again, I just want to say cheers and thank you so

07:31much.

07:31If y'all have y'all glasses, if you have whatever you have, I want to say cheers and thank

07:36you so much for supporting the show.

07:41So, but I've been taking a little break and I got my little drink here.

07:50I'm taking a sip now, but yeah, when I get ready for the next bottle of wine, which probably, I

07:56said this last week, will probably be next week.

07:58But in any case, we're going to move on from that.

08:03We turn it into Wisdom Wednesday, but we still winding down, still going through.

08:11And yeah, I think we ready.

08:15I think we ready for my segment.

08:17Song of the day.

08:30Talk to me.

08:33Mary J. Blige.

08:352007.

08:36Growing pains.

08:39You know what happens when I have to call on the queen of hip-hop soul.

08:45My number one favorite singer.

08:48And I actually met Mary J. Blige for the second time during this album.

08:53I went to an album signing in New York City.

08:58And y'all know I don't like the cold.

09:00But let me tell you, I stood outside for the queen of hip-hop soul and it was well worth

09:06it.

09:09But we want to talk.

09:11The song is called Talk to Me, but we want to talk.

09:14And the problem is, is that the things that we experienced when we were a child, it shows up and

09:20it manifests into our adult life.

09:25So you have to get to a point where you are an adult and you are mature enough to say,

09:31oh, we're going to talk.

09:32Because, see, after all things that we have, I don't know who I'm speaking to.

09:37I'm only speaking from real life experiences.

09:41But it sure as my name is what it is, that if we have any type of work relationship, any

09:47type of friendship, any type of romantic connection, oh, there will be some communication.

09:55You will have to talk to me because it's not going to work because I had to tell this to

10:02somebody a couple, maybe about a week or two ago that I'm not a mind reader.

10:06And that if you would like something out of me, if you would like something different, then guess what?

10:15You're going to have to talk to me because I cannot read your mind.

10:19Now, check this out.

10:20See, before I didn't, I wasn't mature enough to be able to say, talk to me.

10:27And when I was mature enough to say, talk to me, I was wasting my time basically talking to a

10:33brick wall because, see, both parties have to be able to have great levels of communication.

10:39And I was on a call last week.

10:45And please don't quote me on this, but I believe that the statistics say that one of the number one

10:56causes of mental health issues is money.

11:03One of them is money and the leading results of divorce has to do with money.

11:12Now, if you grew up in a household where you didn't speak about money, nobody talked about money.

11:19And when they did talk about money, all hell broke loose.

11:23First, you have an obligation to yourself.

11:26You have an obligation to yourself and you have an obligation to your generation to make sure that you correct

11:30that.

11:33There needs to be some communication.

11:35First of all, there needs to be some communication with self because everything starts with self.

11:39So you have to be able to communicate with yourself and get in tune with yourself so that you can

11:44understand and know how to interact with someone else on the outside.

11:48Now, if you experience all types of hell and drama and lack and scarcity and whatever it was in your

11:56childhood growing up, what makes you think that it is okay to get shacked up, to get wrapped up and

12:06trapped up with somebody else who is just as much as unhealthy as you are?

12:12Again, listen, I don't know who I'm speaking to.

12:15I'm only speaking from real life experiences.

12:16See, the things that I know today, game changer.

12:24Talk to me.

12:25That's all talk.

12:26We don't talk about the situation.

12:28And see, one thing that I've learned is that if somebody is willing to talk and to communicate, are you

12:35willing to listen?

12:37And see, faith without works is dead.

12:40So after you listen and after you get some understanding, what's the next step that you're going to take the

12:46next day?

12:47Or are you just going to basically let this person talk your ear off until the sun comes up?

12:54And then tomorrow, we're basically going to repeat the same thing over and over again without different change, without wanting

13:00to change?

13:01Because, see, repeating the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, that is the definition of insanity.

13:09See, I used to be insane.

13:11I used to repeat the same thing over and over and over again.

13:14And I used to think that people would change.

13:18And then Laren also used to think that he can change people.

13:21And see, what I have to say about that today is absolutely not.

13:25See, Maya Angelou, I have this quote posted and I look at it every single day because I have to

13:31remind myself, what in the hell were you thinking?

13:34Because, see, when people show you who they are, you ought to believe them the first time because people know

13:42themselves way better than you.

13:45And that is exactly why we should stop expecting them to be somebody other than who they are.

13:52And see, what I say and I repeat to myself is when people show you who they are, you should

13:58believe them the first time.

14:00Not the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth.

14:02Don't give them all of those opportunities to show you right.

14:05They've already showed you and told you who they are.

14:07You need to believe them.

14:08See, I don't get upset today.

14:11I just go over and I look at my quote and I go over some scriptures and I'm like, that's

14:16right.

14:17Remember, they showed you who they are.

14:19See, when they show me who they are from day one, that's when I go ahead and put the checkmark,

14:25a mental checkmark, and I stamp it with a date.

14:27So there's no reason for me to feel any type of way six months, six years from now when they

14:34show up doing the same exact thing because everything is a test.

14:38And in life, there are lessons.

14:40And you never know the people that you interact with on your job, the people that you interact with in

14:46your family dynamic, the friends that you come across, whether they stay for a season or whatever the reason is.

14:53There's lessons and there's tests and it's a game.

14:56Now, are you going to win or are you going to lose?

14:59Last week, I said one of my quotes, you've already lost the game the minute that you go back and

15:05forth, round and round, arguing or debating with somebody about something that is outside of you.

15:12I truly have been rehearsing that and truly have been going through that in my mind as I go through

15:19my week day to day this week.

15:21You have already lost the game the minute that you go back and forth, round and round, arguing or debating

15:30with somebody about something that is outside of you.

15:34Ladies and gentlemen, please remember that everything starts with self.

15:39Everything starts with you.

15:40Take accountability for you.

15:43Listen, what you put out there is what you get.

15:46If you want somebody to talk to you, if you want to have some communication, you have to be vulnerable

15:50to be able to have that type of communication,

15:53to be able to have that, to be able to set that dynamic up so that it can happen and

16:00flow properly.

16:02Song of the day.

16:03Talk to me.

16:05Mary J. Blige.

16:072007.

16:07Off of the Growing Pains album.

16:09Let's go, y'all.

16:20Yeah, I knew I had to call on a queen.

16:22I had to call on a queen.

16:25I feel that there has been such a huge shift in what's going on here on this podcast.

16:32And I want to say thank you all so much for the new people out there.

16:35Thank you to Birdman313.

16:37I actually went through and listened to the replay.

16:41And, man, we did that thing last week.

16:43We sure did.

16:44Shout out to Birdman313.

16:49And I want to say Spotify, welcome back again.

16:53I don't know what the hell happened yesterday, but Spotify was down for a minute.

16:57We have all cylinders running so far, so we're doing good.

17:02And, again, I'm really thankful for each and every one of you out there listening.

17:08The best thing that you can do is please like, please comment, please share.

17:13Just share this out.

17:16Listen to it.

17:18Hit the replay button.

17:19Do whatever you need to do to get it out to people.

17:22Share it with people that, you know, can get some sort of financial awareness from listening to this show.

17:30So that's definitely what it's all about.

17:32And I've got some great things coming in store.

17:36And, yeah, we here.

17:39We up and ready to move on.

17:43All right.

17:44Now it's time to bring in my friend, author, poet, Birdman313.

18:07What's going on?

18:08What's going on?

18:09Hey, how's it going?

18:11It's going good.

18:12It's going good.

18:13I'm surviving.

18:14I'm here.

18:15How are you?

18:16I'm doing all right, man.

18:18You know, dealing with this heat.

18:20But other than that, doing great.

18:23So you said heat.

18:25Well, what's the temperature like?

18:28It's like 90, 91.

18:31But we have the air quality is poor here.

18:40And they're asking people, you know, who have health problems to not even go outside.

18:46We went to the park earlier today.

18:50And the first park we went to, man, we couldn't even stand in the sun.

18:55I mean, because the quality is so bad.

18:58That's crazy.

19:00Yeah, it was humid.

19:01And so, like, we left there and we went to another park that we, you know, always go to that

19:08has a lot of shade.

19:10And we sat by the water fountain mostly because you could feel the coolness coming off.

19:15But, you know, it wasn't that many people that was out walking.

19:19Most people were sitting down.

19:23So, and then we came on home and then we seen the news.

19:27And then, you know, that's when we seen how the air quality is saying that, you know, especially in the

19:33Houston area, the air quality is, you know, bad.

19:38And even farther down, like in Galveston, they got it as being poor.

19:44And they telling people not to, not to go.

19:47If you have any breathing problem, any allergies, do not go outside.

19:53That is interesting because it's been super weird here, like freezing cold in the morning, 40s, and then it will

20:07get about 60, 70 in the afternoon craziness.

20:12Because now, don't get, don't get me wrong.

20:15We've had some days where it, where it rain, it rain all day long.

20:20And then, you know, the next day is cloudy.

20:24And so, and then by the third or fourth day, that's when it is like, it's just hot.

20:32So, I mean, they got, they already done warned us that we, we going to have some, some cool days

20:38coming.

20:39You know.

20:40So, we got some warm days coming next week.

20:44The temperature will be up to 90, 80s, 90s for a couple days.

20:48So, I'm going to enjoy it.

20:50Yeah.

20:53Yeah.

20:53I'm going to enjoy it next couple days.

20:55I'm, I'm, I'm ready for it.

20:56I'm ready for this thing to just break through anyway.

20:59It's almost there.

21:01Yeah.

21:02Oh, yeah.

21:07So, how's everything that, how's the book?

21:10I said, I know we said we were going to speak about that.

21:13Where are we saying that?

21:14It's all right, man.

21:15I'm in it.

21:16You know, I posted it and I, that's all I can say is all right.

21:22You know, you never know until, you know, maybe six months if it's doing well, you know, or anything like

21:31that.

21:32So, I mean, it's out there and, hey, I'm, that's all I can say is I posted a couple of

21:41poems.

21:41I'm going to post some more poems later on from the book.

21:46But right now it's just, you know, I've done a couple of readings where I've read poems from the book.

21:54So, and I've, I've had people to actually, you know, ask me for the link.

22:00So, you know, it's doing by like I expected it to be doing.

22:06Well, congratulations on that.

22:07I know that it's a lot of work to release a book.

22:12So, congrats, congratulations.

22:16Yeah, thank you.

22:18Yep, yep, yep.

22:21Alrighty.

22:21So, are you ready to get into the money hack segment?

22:27Sure.

22:28What, what, what number you got for me tonight?

22:34Oh, what's the last number?

22:36Okay.

22:36What is it?

22:36From one to what?

22:38Two hundred and what?

22:40Let's see.

22:41I even forgot.

22:43You know what?

22:44Let's do two hundred.

22:45I'm just going to do two hundred.

22:47It only goes up to, let's see, 167, which we've done that one already.

22:56That one we spoke about college loans.

23:01Okay.

23:02One fifty now.

23:03One fifty.

23:04All right.

23:04Let's see what we got here.

23:10Let's see.

23:12All right.

23:13We'll see what this one.

23:15You want to make sure that you have term life insurance in place till your youngest child is 23 years

23:21of age.

23:22If you anticipate your children will go to college, ensuring their income through their early twenties makes it more likely

23:30that they will be able to get a degree with a manageable amount of student loans, if any.

23:37I don't know if I don't know if I like this one or not.

23:39I don't know if I like this one or not.

23:50I'm going to make sure.

23:58I don't know if I'm going to make sure that you have term life insurance is 23 years of age,

24:04if you anticipate your children will go to college, ensuring their income through their early twenties makes it more likely

24:11that they will be able to get a degree with a manageable amount of student loans.

24:17If any.

24:18Nope.

24:19Don't think I like that one.

24:23Yeah, I'm against student loans.

24:25I think that I have studied and listened to a lot of people who have a hell of a lot

24:31more money than I do.

24:32I'll tell you that much.

24:33And one in particular says that by the time you get done paying for your student loans that you pay

24:43back, what you went to school for is obsolete.

24:49Because by the time they get the textbooks printed and everything else printed, soon as they get on the shelf,

24:56half that stuff is obsolete anyway, especially nowadays when we have artificial intelligence that's mass producing stuff at the speed

25:03of light.

25:05And then he also went on to say that mostly every single person who was in a restaurant cleaning your

25:15tables, waiting on you have the highest degrees that you can imagine of because they can't afford to do anything

25:23else except work in these restaurants because a degree that they went to school for, they can't get a job.

25:34Hmm, interesting.

25:35So that's my take on it.

25:38What do you think about it?

25:40Well, I put like this, you know, I don't like it either.

25:47But sometimes if you don't get no full ride scholarship, you have to take out a loan somewhere.

25:57That's if you want to go to school now, don't get me wrong.

26:01Because I know a lot of people now, they don't really want to go to school.

26:07Now, if you want to go to school and, you know, your grades can't get you a full ride scholarship

26:16and your parents have been putting up, have not put up a college fund for you.

26:25Maybe you, maybe you have to take out a loan.

26:28I know I had to, don't get me wrong.

26:30I had to take out a loan and, you know, personally, I'm going to say it in a nice way.

26:40You know, it seems like I just got messed around because after a few years, even with my degree I

26:51had, they said, hey, well, if you want to make this kind of money, you got to get this other

26:57degree.

26:59And that was the spot, not only me, but I know several people were put in, you know, I've told

27:07my younger cousins that came up.

27:10I'm like, we talked and they, you know, they kind of asked me about that.

27:15And I told them, I said, hey.

27:16Hey, you look at it like this, this is, this is everything that you had to go through.

27:21I said, it used to be, it used to be a two year degree.

27:26I said, now, then it was a four year degree.

27:28When I came out, I said, now, you know, I'm at 10 years after that.

27:34I said, it turned into, I had to get a master's degree just to make a decent living.

27:41Wow.

27:41That's something else.

27:43Yeah.

27:44I mean, in trade schools, trade schools are becoming, that's why trade schools are becoming

27:51so popular because, you know, a person can go there, they learn a trade, they don't have

27:58to take all these, you know, all these classes that, you know, that don't, don't even mean

28:08nothing to them, I mean, but you got to be careful about what school you go to on that

28:15end too.

28:16Because, you know, I went, I went to ITT and, you know, it was a bunch of us in there

28:24and

28:24we all had, oh man, we go ahead and get this associate degree.

28:27We can go get a nice little job and, you know, working on computers at that didn't work.

28:34They started telling us, you need a four year degree.

28:37It didn't come to find out there was a bunch of loans that they tricked people into signing

28:45just to, you know, and, but, you know, it was just like, I'm not like, man, this is just

28:52like going to a four year college.

28:54So you have to be careful of the trade school and you need to hope that you're getting the

29:02training that you really need to pursue that, whatever career it is.

29:08You, you said something so interesting that you take all of these classes on things that

29:14you don't even use or need that goes back to school anyway, in general, like what they

29:21really need to do.

29:22And I'm probably saying, giving it away, but we have a guest that's going to be coming

29:26on the podcast very shortly that will explain all of this.

29:29But what they need to do is teach people how to manage finances properly and have mathematics

29:37as one of the number one things that is taught in the school instead of some of these other

29:43things that when you get out, you don't even use it.

29:45Now they don't teach certain things properly and then people get out and they don't know how

29:51to balance a checkbook.

29:52They don't know what a budget is and they have all types of issues with money because

29:56those are the things that are not taught in school.

30:00Right.

30:01But checkbook is obsolete, almost obsolete now though, but I understand what you're saying

30:05on that.

30:06Yeah.

30:06Matt, basically managing to make sure that you have a personal financial statement that

30:12that's not, that's not even a thing.

30:15Right.

30:16Right.

30:16Like, that's why I say, I understand what you're saying, you know, because like I said,

30:19most people, now you go places and I, you know, and that's, that's like, I've been, I

30:25went to a store one time.

30:26I can't remember where it was.

30:27And the lady pulled out a checkbook.

30:29So people in the line, they was like, oh my goodness, you can see the moans and the groans

30:35and you can see the eyes rolling, but that's what she had.

30:41And even the cashier, the cashier said, uh, you don't have a bank card?

30:46And the lady said, no.

30:49And then she said, okay.

30:51You know what else does she say?

30:54So, you know what, this is what I have to say.

31:00Shout out to bird man for reminding me that I was using old school terms, such as a checkbook.

31:07Now I haven't written a check and I don't know how long, I don't even know why they're

31:13still around, but they are.

31:15But what I have to say is basically managing your expenses.

31:20I didn't mean to say checkbook.

31:22I don't even know why I got bit.

31:24Thank you for telling me that because when I speak like that, I have to stop saying that

31:28because I realized that there's a lot of young people that listen to the podcast.

31:34And I understand that they're probably thinking like, what is a check?

31:38I don't even know if they know what that is.

31:41Yeah, that's true.

31:43That's true, man.

31:44They probably don't even know what that is.

31:45Yeah.

31:46And I was sitting there and I was like, oh man, you know, when I get older, man,

31:51I hope I don't be like that, man.

31:53Just get you a card, swipe it and go or tap.

31:57I know what you mean because I used to experience that too.

32:00Like, why am I sitting here waiting in this line?

32:03It's actually when I was in retail when people would have to pay.

32:07And when they would sit there and start writing a check, I had watched basically everything you said.

32:13I would look at the people behind them and the eyes would start rolling, the rocking back and forth.

32:20I get it.

32:21So, yeah, I know what you mean.

32:23And then the little lady turned around and said, I'm sorry.

32:27Yeah, yeah.

32:28And then sometimes people didn't care.

32:31Other people were like, don't worry about it.

32:32Keep it moving.

32:33You know, take your time.

32:35Yeah.

32:35Do whatever.

32:36But yeah.

32:36Yeah.

32:37Yeah.

32:39All right.

32:40So, it's time to get into tonight's assignment.

32:43We talked a little bit.

32:44We talked a lot.

32:46We had a lot of good points here.

32:49But we are going to, what they call it, Bama.

32:56Birmingham, Alabama.

32:58Miss Shawnee says, I've been thinking a lot about how I grew up.

33:03We didn't talk about money in my house unless something was wrong.

33:06Lights about to get cut off, rent behind, somebody borrowing money from somebody else.

33:11Financial conversations always sounded tense and heavy.

33:15Now, I'm an adult with a decent career, and I still panic every time I check my account.

33:20Even when there's money in there, I save aggressively sometimes, then overspend other times like I'm trying to comfort a

33:28version of myself that went without too much growing up.

33:31That's exactly it.

33:33I tell myself I deserve nice things because I struggle for so long.

33:38Then guilt shows up right after the purchase.

33:42We got so much to talk about this.

33:45I know so many people who go through this type of situation where guilt becomes an issue, and you start

33:52to spend.

33:53In any case, I'm moving on.

33:56Wine nights usually turn reflective for me.

33:59That's when I realize I'm not just managing money.

34:01I'm reacting to memories.

34:03I watched my mother stress over bills my entire childhood.

34:07I promised myself I'd never live like that.

34:09But mentally, I still carry that same fear.

34:11I don't even think my issue is math.

34:15I think it's emotional residue.

34:17How do you build financial habits when your relationship with money was shaped by instability before you even understood what

34:24money was?

34:25That is just a cold statement right there.

34:28I'm going to read it again.

34:30How do you build healthy financial habits when your relationship with money was shaped by instability before you even understood

34:38what money was?

34:39Wow, that is something else.

34:43Birdman, what do you have to say?

34:47Personally, man, you know, we didn't in the neighborhood I grew up because I grew up in a small town.

34:55We didn't talk about money and I always felt that my parents wasn't struggling because we always had nice things.

35:05You know, a nice vehicle, had a nice house.

35:09My parents go to work and come home.

35:12And they never spoke about money around us.

35:18And the way my dad had a house, how he had it set up is the first week my mom

35:28would just come in and she just, you know, they might,

35:31my dad would say, how much is the light bill?

35:34My mom would say, hey, light bill this, telephone this, we need food, we need gas.

35:41And that was it.

35:43And then she'll come out and she just said, here, because my dad, my dad is the one that, believe

35:49it or not, my dad is the one that was paying the bills.

35:52My mother didn't pay the bills.

35:54She just came.

35:55She said, here, I'm just handing him the money.

35:58And he'll say, hey, he'll make sure, he'll say, you got enough money for food.

36:03That's all he cared about, that long she had enough money for food and gas because she drove one of

36:08the vehicles and he drove the other.

36:11That was it.

36:12And then he'll go and he'll go get money orders and come back.

36:16And then I always knew what was up because he said, hey, call me upstairs, you know, because my bedroom

36:22was downstairs in the basement.

36:23My sister had taken over my room because, you know, she was growing up.

36:28He had me sit at the table.

36:31He said, hey, you know what to do, fix these money orders and this envelope.

36:36And that's just the way it was in my household.

36:40Even the kids in the neighborhood, you never heard nobody talk about money, period.

36:49So that was kind of like whatever, like you had said earlier, whatever went in the house that stayed there,

36:58it didn't come out.

37:02You know, and I just know that, you know, I felt that when jealousy, when jealousy started to show up

37:14with people with money, it was because you see some kids over here that, you know, you knew who struggled

37:22and who didn't struggle.

37:23That was just all too.

37:25You could tell by the way they dressed.

37:29You could tell by the way they dressed and where they carry themselves, whether their family was struggling or not.

37:37You didn't have to, you didn't have to ask them.

37:40And, you know, you could tell when, you know, like a friend or somebody in the neighborhood, they started doing

37:51good for themselves.

37:52Because then that's, that's when jealousy come in and people be like, oh man, I got to keep up with

38:00him.

38:01That's what, and then when the temptations came out, don't let the Joneses get you down.

38:07Then, that's when people started really kind of like, okay, they went, got a new car.

38:13I got to go get a new car.

38:17You know, or, you know, you know, when I was growing up, it was, it was the cheap shoes from

38:25Sears and Roebuck.

38:27And that's what it was called, Sears and Roebuck, not just Sears.

38:31And then when we got to junior high school, you know, yeah, you know, you got teased and then you

38:38went to the converse.

38:40But hell, the converse was the, was the top of the line and it was expensive.

38:45So a lot of kids went and got jobs and they was like, hey, I'm going to start supporting myself

38:53now.

38:55And when I went and got my job, I asked my, I asked my dad, do I need to help

39:01y'all?

39:01Dad said, the only way you need, what you need, how you know you need to help is you keep

39:06your grades up.

39:08And, and so like, I said, okay, then.

39:11So then when I told him the type of tennis shoes I want, he said that, he said, you got

39:15a job.

39:15You go get them yourself.

39:17He said, I'm not paying that much for those, you know, for those type of tennis shoes.

39:22So, Hey, Hey, I would go and he wouldn't even take me.

39:27And, you know, back then, you know, we, me and some buddies, we get together, walk down there to the

39:33sporting goods store.

39:35Hey, man, I get me some chucks.

39:37They come back home.

39:39And my dad said, you paid that much for those tennis shoes.

39:43I'm like, yeah.

39:46The hustle is the same.

39:48It's funny that you go through this because that's the same exact scenario that, you know, I went through in

39:55my neighborhood, the same exact scenario.

39:58After a while, you like, you know what?

40:00I'm going to just go and get my own job.

40:01We got jobs at 16, 15, 16, hustling, paper routes, doing whatever we needed to do to make sure that

40:08we got the shoes that we needed to get.

40:10And I mean, with this here, Shanice spoke about this, but the same situation, you know, she spends money, but

40:20then feels guilty afterwards.

40:21She overdoes it.

40:22I know people who have every single, you know, new shoes, new sneaker that come out because of what happened

40:30when they were a child.

40:32So the hustle is still the same.

40:34And you know what?

40:35It's just passing down to generation to generation.

40:37That's the hustle.

40:38That's what we do in our culture.

40:42We care about all those materialistic things.

40:45And it starts with what's on your feet.

40:49Yeah.

40:50And, you know, that was the thing, you know.

40:54And then, you know, like I said, because my mother worked at the cleaners, you know, my pants slacks were

41:03always, they had, they had creases in them, you know.

41:07And people used to say, oh, man, your crease, he said, your crease is so tight, you can cut butter

41:13with it.

41:14I couldn't stand those.

41:16And people, people were actually jealous of it.

41:20And, you know, the parents had to say, well, his mother worked at a cleaners.

41:25So, therefore, he can, his jeans can look like that or his slacks.

41:32Like I said, I didn't get the first pair of jeans until I got out of high school.

41:40I couldn't wear, I couldn't wear jeans.

41:42My parents would not allow me to wear jeans, even if I bought the jeans.

41:46If I bought a pair of jeans, I could only wear it to the, you know, outside.

41:52I couldn't wear them, I couldn't wear them to school.

41:55That's how strict my mom and dad was, you know, coming from a military type, you know, my dad had

42:02been in the military.

42:04So, you know, that was, that was a good thing because all his pants, even his work pants, they had

42:12creases in them.

42:18And, you know, like I said, every, you know, and then I would see, I would, I would see people

42:23and I knew what they was doing to, to get all that, you know, they was able to get their

42:30own vehicles.

42:32They was, you know, back then, you know, it was like, oh, they got nice rides and this and that.

42:39And I never, it never bothered me none.

42:44All I said was, hey, you know what, man, I'm just going to do better because that's all my dad

42:49said.

42:50I just want you to be able to do better than what I did.

42:54And that was, that was it.

42:56My mom and dad, that was, that's what they put into me and my sister.

42:59Just do better than what we did.

43:02I'm glad you said that.

43:03My dad said, don't, don't, do not copy because you see somebody else get something, don't you go and try

43:11to get it.

43:12Don't, don't put yourself in a hole like that and try to get it.

43:16I'm glad you said that because that is the, the gist of this whole letter here that, okay, our parents

43:27only did what they knew how to do and we can't fault them because they did the best that they

43:34can do.

43:34And if any of our parents had any kind of, I want to say the thing, common sense, they will

43:43always tell their child, you know what, please do better than me.

43:47And then what do better than me means is stay in school because that's all that they knew, get a

43:55degree because maybe I didn't get a degree, do something better than I can live a heck of a lot

44:02better than I have.

44:05So any parent who has some common sense, as I said, would say that to their children.

44:11When your parents don't say that, when your parents don't encourage you to do something a little bit better and,

44:18and, and push you out there to think differently, that's the key.

44:23Not to be afraid and to take chances, just go out there and do something different and be better than

44:28me.

44:29That's where it is.

44:30There's some parents that won't.

44:32And then that's where you have the generational curse where they just basically repeat the same thing over and over

44:37again.

44:38And then that's how generations get wiped out completely.

44:41Because typically the generation is going to be worse and it's going to continue to get worse and worse and

44:48worse and worse and worse.

44:48Instead of moving in the opposite direction of getting better, do better than me, get that degree, get a better

44:55job.

44:56You know, you know what I'm saying?

44:58Yeah.

44:59Yeah, I do.

44:59And you know what else I forgot to put in there?

45:02I knew, I knew some of the people, they had a large family.

45:08So they had a large family.

45:10So it was harder for, for their parents to do for everybody.

45:15A lot of, a lot of the kids had to, you know, like once, you know, their big brother moved,

45:21or big sister moved out, they had to wear their clothing.

45:26You know, and plus I had people in the neighborhood that knew my parents, that knew me.

45:32And that would be the first thing they'd be saying.

45:35Hey, boy, you staying out of trouble?

45:37Yeah.

45:38Okay, then.

45:39Hey, go to school.

45:41And, and I met the, it was like, that was with the whole neighborhood.

45:47And even, even the parents, like I knew one kid stayed around the corner from me and they was all

45:56living with his mother.

45:58And it was like four, four of them, five of them.

46:04And I'd be walking by, hey, how you doing?

46:06Hey, I'm all right.

46:08You still in school, boy?

46:09I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm still in school.

46:11You stay there.

46:14You know, and I, I used to have, and I used to have some parents say to me, hey, if

46:20you see my son out there or my daughter out there doing something, you can come and tell me, don't

46:27be scared.

46:28And if they threaten you, I'm going to threaten them.

46:31That's how it was.

46:32That was, that's, that's how, that's how it was in our neighborhood that, you know, everybody looked out for everybody

46:41and it's not like that anymore.

46:44It'll get that way again.

46:46We, we going to have to go through some, some more trials and, and some, we going to have to,

46:52we, we in it.

46:53We're, we're like they say in the last days, oh, we're here.

46:58So, um, yeah, it'll, it'll reset itself history.

47:03They say what history doesn't repeat itself, but it often rhymes.

47:07So, yeah, it's, it's going to get back.

47:10You know, if my dad went and bought a new vehicle, nobody said nothing to me about it.

47:15Or they'll just say, oh, wow, man, I seen you.

47:17I seen your dad went down a new vehicle.

47:21And it's like, well, you know, he worked at, you know, he worked at, it was autos, but it was

47:26part of General Motors.

47:28And everybody knew parents that worked in them factories, they, they could, they could do that.

47:34They could go get new vehicles easily without any problems.

47:40Yeah.

47:40We used to say the same thing.

47:42The cars in my neighborhood was important.

47:44We, we peeped who had the new cars and who didn't.

47:47That was something that we, we, we, we focused on.

47:52So when we, when we got our license, that was the, that was the thing, what kind of car you

47:56got.

47:56So exactly, you know, and, and, you know, there, you know, the, the funny part about it, I don't, I

48:05don't even know how I should put that out here on this, but I know there was a lot of

48:14the white kids was jealous of me because of the way I dressed.

48:21And, you know, and, you know, they couldn't, they didn't dress as good as I did him.

48:27And people had to, had to always go back and say, his mother worked at a cleaners.

48:35That's why his clothes look so new all the time.

48:39Say he can keep the same clothes.

48:41Even the parents knew that, but the kids didn't.

48:46I got you.

48:47I got you.

48:48And then, you know, the black kids were starting noticing it and they, you know, they were, someone would make

48:57their little comments, but they, you know, they didn't just harp on it.

49:03You know, they just didn't harp on it constantly, but, hey, they already know, oh, man, I see he got

49:10some new kicks on.

49:11I see he got some new jeans, you know, stuff like that, man.

49:15And I be like, hey, man, you know, and then when they found out, they said, well, you know, he

49:19working now.

49:21And then, you know, my, my first real job was, was at a clothing store and they said, oh, man,

49:28he, he works at the clothing store.

49:30So, you know, man, he probably getting a discount, you know, that's the route I went.

49:37That's why I went, you know, hey, man, you know, when I see, oh, man, I can't, it's the movie

49:44that, that Ice Cube put out, Boys in the Hood.

49:47But, and old dude was, he, you know, they sell, he, he works at the mall.

49:52That reminds me of how my life was.

49:54Yeah, I worked at a clothing store.

49:56And, hey, man, you know, and people, hey, man, you think you, you can get me some clothes, man?

50:00You know, like, just stuff like that.

50:02And I'm like, nah, man.

50:03I said, dude know my size.

50:06You know, he could, he could, you know, I could only get clothes that was for me.

50:11Wow.

50:13Interesting.

50:15Yeah.

50:18Well, I know I hate to end this conversation because it's good.

50:24This is definitely a good conversation, but we are up against the clock.

50:29Once again, we got to get out of here soon to go ahead and pay these bills.

50:35So, please go ahead and let people know what you got going on.

50:38I definitely think we did give Shaniece what she needed.

50:43And those of you out there listening, yeah, you got to go back and clean some things up

50:49so you can move forward financially.

50:51So, go ahead and let us know what you got going on here.

50:55Yeah, okay.

50:57Tomorrow evening, you know, there's a, it's like a little meeting we have, I guess, amongst

51:02other poets and musicians.

51:04And we do that once a month on the second Thursday.

51:08It's on Zoom.

51:09It's out, it's up there in your area, Hackensack, New Jersey.

51:14And we do that once a month.

51:18Saturday, APS out of Austin Poetry Society.

51:22We read poetry, poems.

51:25They talk about poetry contests.

51:28And other than that, really not much.

51:31Just working on some new videos.

51:34Still writing, even though I put out a book, I'm still writing new poems.

51:40And I mean, sometimes I had to slow down and say, oh, let me go get some of these old

51:46poems that I wrote to put in my book, what you call filler.

51:54We talked about that.

51:55And I'll go back and I'll pull out like maybe 10 poems that I wrote maybe 10 years ago.

52:03And just totally redo them.

52:05Sometimes I don't even redo them.

52:07I just leave them the way they are.

52:08And my book is on Amazon, my new book is on Amazon at Amazon.com slash author slash birdman313.

52:22You can go to youtube.com slash author poet birdman31355 to see videos.

52:32I have six new videos on there.

52:39You can go to youtube.

52:41I mean, you can go to Spotify, coffee, wine, and words, and look for birdman313.

52:49I have poems.

52:50I have video poems and videos on there.

52:54I'm on Instagram.

52:55I've been posting mostly pictures lately, but I'm going to start back posting some of my poems

53:04from my new book.

53:05And it's Instagram, birdman31355.

53:11So there you go.

53:13Thank you so much.

53:14I appreciate it.

53:15And I'll be talking to you soon.

53:19And take care and have a good night.

53:22You do the same.

53:24Okay.

53:25Take care now.

53:26Yep.

53:38Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.

53:40That was author poet birdman313.

53:43We have so many good conversations that we can sit here and talk.

53:48We should do a marathon one day where we just carry on because we will be here.

53:54Just going in.

53:55And that shows exactly how this show and this mentorship has evolving because I definitely

54:03feel the shift.

54:05And for those of you who have been listening for quite some time, you, I mean, I can't describe

54:13it.

54:13You feel it.

54:14And this is what I speak about when I say this podcast is about where everyday conversations

54:21lead to financial awareness.

54:23Because whatever type of conversation we have, wherever we go, you're going to get something

54:28out of it.

54:29So please share this to each and every person that you know that needs to get some sort of

54:36financial literacy because it's not being put out there enough.

54:40And the best thing that you can do is share this with a loved one, a friend, family, so that

54:45they can

54:46understand, yes, these situations that we go through, each and every one of us have been through

54:51something like this.

54:52This is real life situations that we speak about to help somebody else break through.

54:57Thank you so much to each and every one of you out there listening.

55:00Thank you to Birdman313.

55:02Please do me a favor.

55:03Please like, comment, share, subscribe, tag a friend, do whatever you need to do.

55:08We're going to have to get up out of here.

55:12And yeah, thank you so much.

55:14Take care, y'all.

55:15Have a good night.

55:37Bye.

55:58Bye.

56:30Bye.

57:04We'll see you next time.

The Childhood Bill You're Still Paying | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 29)

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