You Budget for Bills, Not for Life | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 28) - video Dailymotion

Lerin Gaines

You Budget for Bills, Not for Life | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 28)   Featuring: Wine Down Wednesday, Mentorship Series   Wednesday | May 06, 2026   Streaming LIVE on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES   https://leringaines.com  https://linktr.ee/leringaines  https://www.facebook.com/leringaines  http://instagram.com/leringaines  https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines  http://twitter.com/leringaines  https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines  https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines  https://kick.com/leringaines  https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines   Song of The Day: "Back and Forth" by Cameo  Released 1986 | Word Up!   Burning Questions for Reflections!  Are you budgeting for reality - or for a version of life where nothing ever changes?   Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions...  Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com   DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, KICK, Twitch, DailyMotion)   Sign up for my FREE Monthly Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!   Subscribe now at LerinGaines.com   #Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #KICK #Twitch #DailyMotion #DebtFreeLiving #FinancialCoach #LerinGaines #411Podcast #RBTW #ReadingBetweenTheWines #BurningQuestions #BlackDiamondConsultations #VacationWithMe #WhispersofWisdom #DISC6 #Vitality   DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.   411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines  DISC 6: Vitality  Track 28: You Budget for Bills, Not for Life  ©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network  LerinGaines.com

Transcript

05:05So that's kick.com slash layering games.

05:09That is the new platform that we are on.

05:12And yeah, just go ahead and check us out there.

05:16So welcome in.

05:18So welcome in.

05:18This is episode 28.

05:20You budget for bills, not for life.

05:24So we're going to speak about budgeting, you know, money.

05:28That's what we speak about here.

05:30And we're going to talk about what happens.

05:32And we're going to talk about what happens when you have unexpected expenses.

05:35Are you planning for unexpected expenses?

05:38Or are you just basically doing the day-to-day operations, the month-to-month operations, expecting for life not

05:47to happen?

05:47Because when life happens, trust and believe that it happens.

05:54So speaking of life happening, I'm going to just keep it real with y'all.

06:01That's what I do.

06:02So I'm going to keep it real.

06:03So it is going to be another dry episode, which also is important for me to speak about this as

06:14well.

06:14Because reading Between the Wines, it started off as one thing, and it had transformed into something different.

06:23And it became more of an educational piece, not just, you know, popping bottles.

06:28And I wanted to make sure that I was very clear about that from day one.

06:32And from the first time I pressed play, I knew that we had something special here.

06:39I've had people not want to come on the show because, you know, we sample and drink wine here, which

06:48is fine.

06:50Everybody can pick and choose what they want to do.

06:52But for specific spiritual reasons, I've had people decline coming on the show.

06:59So I wanted to make sure that I addressed that as well.

07:02That we are conducting ourselves in a professional manner.

07:09We are conducting ourselves in such a way that it's educational piece.

07:15That this is not where you come to turn up.

07:18And if anything, we come here to wind down.

07:21We come here to get some understanding and clarity and move forward the next day.

07:29Move forward after we exit Reading Between the Wines with a little more knowledge and understanding.

07:37So, but in any case, so when I spoke about when life happens, life happens.

07:43And this is what we're dealing with here today.

07:45So the song of the day is going to tie in.

07:48You're going to understand and know exactly where I'm coming from when I get into the song of the day.

07:52But it just I just didn't feel like it was time to sample some wine tonight.

07:58So be very cautious because we all know that they don't call it wine and spirits for no reason.

08:06I've spoke about that plenty of times.

08:08So you can become influenced, you know, when you start to, you know, I guess dabble in certain things.

08:21So if you're not able to do it responsible, just don't do it.

08:28Please be careful.

08:29Drink responsibly.

08:32Be cautious, know your limits.

08:36And I congratulate the people and commend the people who know their limits.

08:41And they say that I just it's not for me and I'm OK with that.

08:46But for those of you who are responsible, you do come here to wind down.

08:50You understand and you know what the assignment is.

08:53We're not here to, you know, make this anything that is not.

08:56I want to say thank you all so much for being responsible and being able to handle and, you know,

09:03yourself accordingly.

09:06Again, what's for some is not for others.

09:09I get that.

09:11And I just want to make sure that people understand and know where I'm coming from with that.

09:17But for me personally, I know what my limits are.

09:20And tonight I just wasn't doing it.

09:22I just didn't feel that I'd be able to give you all what you wanted.

09:26And I'm not just going to, you know, come out here and, you know, drink and sample wine just because

09:32it's called Reading Between the Wines.

09:34Sometimes I'm just like, absolutely not.

09:36I don't feel like that means so into Wisdom Wednesday instead of Wine Down Wednesday.

09:41And that's what this episode is about tonight.

09:46There was a point where I was like, I had the show running me instead of me running the show.

09:53And those tables have obviously turned.

09:57So now I'm in more control of, you know, what we do here.

10:01So for those of you, thank you all so much for tuning in.

10:05I want to say cheers.

10:06I have some apple juice tonight.

10:10I have some apple juice.

10:11Whatever you got.

10:13Thank you all so much for tuning in.

10:15I appreciate y'all.

10:16And I'm getting ready to take y'all down a journey.

10:18So cheers.

10:19And thank you all so much for coming in.

10:21And another episode of Reading Between the Wines.

10:27I'm going to take a drink before I get on into the song of the day because it's very important.

10:35This is where I'm coming from.

10:36This is real life experiences that we speak about here.

10:40And this is what we do.

10:42And so my favorite segment of the show, song of the day.

11:01Back and forth 1986 by Cameo.

11:07So I was six years old and I believe that I have featured this song on a previous episode before.

11:17This came across my playlist.

11:20And I was like, interesting.

11:22Back and forth came across my playlist earlier this week.

11:25And it resonates to what has been going on in my real life.

11:32And I put a quote out there a couple years ago.

11:37And I make sure that I pass this down to my generation.

11:41And I let my daughters know that you have to be very careful when you're in relationships, when you're in

11:50friendships, when you're in a workplace, just in general, even family members.

11:56It doesn't even matter when you're dealing with folk, put it that way.

12:02And I tell them that you've already lost the game.

12:08Like, this is a near and dear.

12:10This quote, this saying that I have created is near and dear to me.

12:15Because not only do I minister to myself when I'm ministering to them, teaching them, but I take it with

12:25me.

12:27Because I take it with me day to day.

12:31And just as I tell them, I tell myself that you've already lost the game the minute that you go

12:38back and forth, round and round, arguing or debating with somebody else about something that is outside of you.

12:50I'm going to make sure that this sinks in for me.

13:17Something that has nothing to do with you, but it has everything to do with them.

13:22Because I know that when I step on the scene, when I'm coming correct and I'm treating people with respect

13:28because that's who I am.

13:31Because if you want respect, you're going to have to give respect.

13:34But what happens is sometimes the ego, sometimes the pride steps in.

13:40And that's why when I step into certain situations, I have to say, God, please, more of you and less

13:46of me.

13:47Because I know who I am and you know who I am.

13:50And you know that if somebody steps to me the wrong way, I'm going to have to turn up a

13:56little bit.

13:56But then now I have to tell myself, Laren, you're going to have to turn down a lot.

14:01Because the old version of you that used to go upside people's head and curse them out and give them

14:07the business, you know full well that you can't do that today.

14:11And remember, do you want to win in this game or do you want to lose?

14:16Because you already know what it's like to lose, but I'm winning today.

14:19And you've already lost the game the minute that you go back and forth with people round and round, arguing

14:26or debating with them about something that don't have nothing to do with you.

14:30Because, see, today, I'm worried about minding my own business.

14:36I'm worried about taking care of Black Diamond consultations.

14:39I'm worried about doing what I need to and doing my father's business because he's the one who puts me

14:44right here.

14:45And that's why I'm here right now because of him.

14:47So don't go back and forth.

14:50Don't go arguing or debating with anybody about something that don't got nothing to do with you.

14:54Don't have your name on it.

14:56Ain't nobody checking for you.

14:57Ain't nobody calling for you.

14:58Don't trust and believe.

15:01I have to tell myself that each and every day and I have to remind myself about that each and

15:06every day.

15:08I don't need to be going back and forth with people.

15:10You don't need to be going back and forth with people.

15:14Because are you winning or are you losing in this game?

15:17Because if somebody comes to you with some disrespectful, downright dirty, trifling, ghetto, I'm not even going to say what

15:26it is type of behavior.

15:28You know that that's not you.

15:30That's not where you come from.

15:32When you stepped on a scene, you didn't come from that.

15:34And if you did come from that, you made sure that you cleaned yourself up and you want to make

15:39sure that you don't even go back to that.

15:42That's not true.

15:43That's them.

15:43That's their stuff.

15:44An old friend used to say, Laren, don't go back and forth with people.

15:48Don't be arguing with people.

15:49Don't be doing none of that stuff because that's their, and she said another word, that's their stuff.

15:56They don't have nothing to do with you.

16:00Song of the day, back and forth, cameo, 1986.

16:05I was six years old when that joint came out, and it's funny to listen to it today.

16:11And I watched a video today, and it's basically about relationships going back and forth with people, back, back, forth,

16:19and forth.

16:20I don't have time for that today.

16:22I'm over that.

16:22I've done it before, and again, I'm winning today.

16:26I'm not losing.

16:29Song of the day.

16:31Now, as we go ahead and bring it up, we go down.

16:38This is, listen, this is life.

16:41And I'm thankful that I'm here to be able to be in this space, to be able to come correct,

16:47because there was a time when I wasn't able to,

16:49and I would just black out, and I would just go off on people, and I would be apologizing later

16:54for all of the mishap that took place,

16:58because I didn't know how to control my own nervous system.

17:03And I've learned that, too, that it is not my job to control, manage, regulate, speculate anybody else's nervous system.

17:12If they want to become disrespectful, as an old friend used to say, because they're disrespectful, but to themselves.

17:23If they want to be disrespectful to themselves by the way that they conduct themselves, they don't have nothing to

17:29do with me, because that is outside of me.

17:31I focus, and I worry about Laren today.

17:33I don't got time to be worried about people.

17:35So, anyway, let's move on.

17:39Let's get off of this, because I could spend a whole, we can turn a whole episode into this, because

17:43that's where I come from.

17:46I used to be a mess, and now this is my message.

17:50So, anyway, all right.

17:53So, yeah, episode 28, you budget for bills, not for life.

17:59And now, let's go ahead and bring in my special guest, friend of the show, family, author, poet, verb man,

18:11313.

18:26What's going on, what's going on, what's going on?

18:29How are you?

18:31All right.

18:31How's it going, man?

18:35It's going, it's going.

18:37It's going.

18:38Somebody must have tipped your tea, man.

18:42You, I'm going to tell you, with me, it's like, and this has been my entire life, I will allow

18:48people to do stuff to me, and I'll just bottle it up, and bottle it up, and bottle it up,

18:54until eventually that one last time that you thought that you got away with something, oh, we taking it back.

19:01I'm reminding you about all of the stuff that you did to me, and you're going to be like, wow,

19:05I didn't know.

19:05Oh, well, like the Notorious B.I.G. said, if you don't know, now you know.

19:11Yeah, you know, there was a time when I was like that, and I had a friend of mine, we

19:17played, we played ball together, and he told me, he said, dude, you're going to mess around.

19:23He said, you're going to have high blood pressure, man.

19:26Just keep on, and I'll be doggone.

19:30You know, and I'm like, yeah, okay, dude.

19:32So I had been, I've been working on it.

19:36I have to say that I'm thankful because I used to, like I said, I used to be a mess.

19:40I used to go off, be like the Tasmanian devil, and when I cleaned my life up, I went to

19:47the doctors and, you know, got a checkup and everything, and she says, wow, man, you have like the blood

19:56pressure of like a 12-year-old.

19:58I said, what?

19:59I said, all of the hell reason that I've been doing most of my life, you telling me that my

20:05blood pressure is on point like that?

20:07I was shocked.

20:09I was shocked.

20:10Yeah.

20:12Because, man, I used to go up.

20:15Yeah.

20:18So how's it going out there in Texas?

20:20How's the weather?

20:22Oh, man, it's 95 today.

20:25That's good.

20:28But now, let me tell you, it's not that comfortable.

20:31It's hot.

20:32It's humid.

20:34It's cloudy.

20:36You know, like one day it'll be like in the 90s.

20:40The next day it'll be raining and wind blowing, and it's cool.

20:44And it's like the song say, back and forth.

20:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.

20:51Yeah, you know, that's something I used to jam on when I used to DJ in the clubs, man, was

20:56back and forth, you know.

20:58Yeah, I like that joint.

20:59I like that joint.

21:00And I talked to my son in San Antonio today, and he said, same way there, you know.

21:06So I'm like, well, you know, you ain't nothing but two and a half, three hours away from me.

21:10So, you know, I can imagine that.

21:13It's like that this whole southern part of Texas is mainly like that, you know, up in the Dallas area.

21:21It's not as hot and humid like it is down, you know, once you get, like, past, get below Austin,

21:31like the Austin area and get below it.

21:34Then, you know, it gets, it'd be hot and humid most of the time, so.

21:39Hmm.

21:41It's rainy today.

21:43It was in the 70s.

21:44It was in the 80s yesterday.

21:46So we're going to be anywhere between the 60s and 70s for the next couple days, but I'll take it

21:51versus what we had before.

21:53I'm good.

21:54Yeah.

21:56I'm good.

21:58All right.

21:59So it sounds like everything is going well.

22:01I've seen that little alligator picture, and I had to tell myself, no.

22:04Mm-mm.

22:06Oh.

22:07Well, you know, hey, man, you know, this new park we go to, we have been seeing the alligator,

22:14and then one of the ladies was talking to Diana, and she said, oh, they got some baby ones over

22:19there.

22:19So I went over there the first day.

22:22I took some pictures, you know, and then I got away, but I was looking around because, you know, like

22:29they said,

22:29if there's some babies around, mama's not far.

22:32I took some pictures.

22:33So I went back, stood up on the patio where, you know, most everybody was at,

22:38and you could see it.

22:39You could see mama gator going towards them.

22:42And then the next day I went, and that's when I, you know, I kind of got, people ask me,

22:49and I be letting them know.

22:50I be zooming in, man.

22:51Pictures like that, I zoom in.

22:53I'm not right up on them.

22:55Oh, okay.

22:57Yeah, yeah, yeah.

22:58You know, that's what I do.

22:59I take my phone.

23:01Because normally the time I take my phone because it's a little bit better, well,

23:07the camcorder, you need to put on a tripod to get good videos, you know.

23:12So I take my phone, and I, you know, and I always, I always zoom in.

23:19I don't be up on it.

23:20I zoom in, take the picture, then zoom out, you know, and people have been saying,

23:25oh, you need to be careful.

23:27Man, y'all just don't know how careful I am.

23:29I got them, I got them baby pictures.

23:32I don't need no more.

23:34I know that's right.

23:36Yeah.

23:38Wow.

23:39All right.

23:40All right.

23:42Well, it's time to get into our money hack segment of the show.

23:48So go ahead and let us know what number that you have for us tonight.

23:5891.

23:5991, let's see.

24:06That's a good age to live.

24:09I'm going to live until about 120, but 91 is a good age.

24:14Yeah, I pray that I can reach that age, man.

24:20So, ooh, I like this one.

24:23This is an awesome one.

24:24Here we go.

24:26Diversify.

24:26There are two levels of diversification you want to follow.

24:30The first is to make sure that you have a smart mix of stocks, bonds, and cash.

24:35Stocks provide the opportunity for inflation-beating gains over the long term.

24:41Bonds are less volatile stocks.

25:16But over time, they have delivered lower returns than stocks.

25:18But there is a risk in cash, too.

25:21If your cash earns 1% or 2% and inflation averages 3% or 4%, the purchasing power of

25:29your cash will not keep up with prices.

25:32I need y'all to go ahead and rewind and say that again.

25:35The right mix of stocks and bonds and cash is a personal choice.

25:40A good rule of thumb to consider is to subtract your age from 100.

25:49I'll say that again.

25:50A good rule of thumb to consider is to subtract your age from 100.

25:57That number is the percentage you might consider investing in stocks.

26:01So, if you are 30, you might have 70% or 80% invested in stocks.

26:07If you are 65, you might have 35% to 45% invested in stocks.

26:13Once you decide on your stocks, bonds, cash mix, mutual funds, or exchange-traded funds, which are my favorite, ETFs,

26:24are a smart way to add another important type of diversification.

26:28Funds and ETFs are portfolios that typically own dozens and hundreds of different investments.

26:34That is a great way to make sure your investments aren't riding on just a handful of stocks and bonds.

26:42So, this is a great topic here.

26:47But I do want to let you all know that you have to do your own due diligence.

26:51You have to do your own research.

26:52I am not a financial advisor or planner.

26:56I am just here to share the good news with you.

26:59And I am a financial coach.

27:02And, again, do your own due diligence and research.

27:07Birdman, what do you think about the information?

27:11It's some good information, you know.

27:13I mean, especially, I always say this, it's good for everybody, but mostly youngsters, you know,

27:19which I know times are hard right now.

27:21And, you know, you think about it and you'd be like, hey, is it even worth, you know, investing in

27:32any of that right now?

27:34Which I'm not really up on all of that.

27:38So, I have nothing else to say about it.

27:41I don't want to say something that somebody else may know more than me.

27:45And they'd be saying, oh, this guy don't know what he's talking about.

27:47So, hey, I leave it like this.

27:50Only thing that I have to say this for anybody out there who is thinking, oh, should I get into

27:55this?

27:56Should I not get into this?

27:57The best time to get into it was yesterday.

28:03Yeah.

28:04The best time to get into it was yesterday because the more that you wait, the more that you're not

28:09in the game.

28:10Yeah, I agree with you on that.

28:13Even if it's a dollar, put it that way, even if it's a dollar.

28:17And, you know, one of my friends, basically, this was a conversation that actually changed my life around a couple

28:26of years ago.

28:27She said, Laren, I don't get crazy over food.

28:29I was like, what do you mean?

28:31She's like, I don't get crazy over food.

28:33People buy food and they get crazy over food.

28:35And she says, you know what's going to happen with it?

28:37And I was like, what?

28:39She says, all you're going to do is poop it out.

28:42I said, oh, I said, interesting.

28:44So then I started thinking every time I went to go buy food and eat food, I was like, I

28:49ain't getting crazy over it.

28:50I ain't getting crazy over the price.

28:52I ain't getting crazy over what I'm eating because guess what?

28:55All you're going to do is poop it out.

28:56So then I started to say, well, all you're going to do is poop it out.

29:00So you are taking this money and you're basically pooping it out.

29:04So then I started to twist it again and say, OK, so now you can take $20 and because, you

29:10know, you can't go to no fast food restaurant for nothing less than $20 these days.

29:15Maybe $15, you'd be all right.

29:17I can get me a little meal or something from Burger King for $15, which is craziness.

29:24All you're going to do is poop it out, Laren.

29:26So you're going to take that $15, $20.

29:28I rounded up to $20.

29:30And all you're going to do is poop it out.

29:31So guess what you're going to do?

29:33You could at least put $20 in the market every week.

29:39You could do that because otherwise all you was going to do is poop it out.

29:44So that's what I had to tell myself.

29:47And I'm like, OK, that makes sense.

29:50That makes sense.

29:52Yeah.

29:54I got you.

29:59All right.

30:00So let's get into tonight's assignment.

30:02We're going all the way to South Carolina.

30:05Miss Erica, she says,

30:09I thought I was doing everything right.

30:13I wrote up my bills.

30:15I wrote out bills, rent, car note, insurance, phone.

30:19I made sure everything on my budget since.

30:24But every month something throws it off.

30:26A birthday, a last minute trip, car maintenance, a co-worker leaving the job and everyone pitching in.

30:34It's always something.

30:36And every time it happens, I feel like I failed.

30:39So I dip into my savings or I swipe my card and tell myself I'll balance it out next month.

30:46Next month comes with its own surprises.

30:48I'm starting to realize my budget only works if life stays predictable and life hasn't been predictable once.

30:55What frustrates me is I'm trying.

30:59I'm going to stop you right there.

31:02Everybody knows that that word right there, try.

31:05It's not in my vocabulary.

31:07Either you're doing it or you're not.

31:09So we'll back this up.

31:10What frustrates me is I'm trying.

31:13I'm not ignoring my finances.

31:15I'm just constantly reaching.

31:17I'm excuse me.

31:18I'm constantly reacting to things I didn't plan for.

31:22I don't want to feel like every unexpected moment is a setback.

31:26I want to feel prepared.

31:28So how do I build a budget that actually reflects real life, not just ideal conditions?

31:34Erica, what you got from Miss Erica?

31:38I mean, come on, man.

31:40Life is life.

31:42And if you have a vehicle, you already know.

31:47You already know you're going to have to pay.

31:52Well, you pay the card, no insurance.

31:55Got to get gas.

31:56That's a weekly, not the insurance.

31:58But, you know, that's, you know, the gas is a weekly thing.

32:04Unless she has an old vehicle where every week she got to put it in the shop to have something

32:13done.

32:14Then I can understand why she is kind of, you know, like, that's like a hopeless thing.

32:25But everybody, I don't care.

32:27I don't, and I've said this once before.

32:30I don't care how much money you have.

32:33Some, you have, they have bills.

32:36Even the rich, rich, rich, rich.

32:39They have bills on something.

32:44So, as long as she's paying her bills on time, I don't see why she should feel that way.

32:50The only thing, and the thing that got me also was the fact, she said, when a co-worker leave

32:55her job.

32:56And I'm like, well, what kind of job do you have where the people is always leaving and you always

33:01got to buy them gifts?

33:02Well, you know, either the company, there's something wrong with the company, or the company is hiring the wrong type

33:12of people.

33:13If they're coming and going like that, because, I mean, I've been, hey, I've worked for companies where people had

33:19left.

33:20And they, you know, they said, hey, can you spare a couple dollars?

33:25I said, hey, you catch me on this day.

33:28And they said, okay, they're going about the business.

33:30I'm not, that's something I always said I wasn't going to get in the habit of, is always donate to

33:39somebody leaving,

33:40because maybe I want that person gone.

33:43Oh, you know what?

33:47Maybe, maybe I want that person gone.

33:50So, therefore, I'm not going to give them my money to leave.

33:54Hey, leave on your own.

33:57That is something else.

34:03That was, that's just, you know, that just, because, I mean, I've been on jobs where people talk bad about

34:09the person.

34:10They want that person to leave when that person gone.

34:12Somebody up there taking money off.

34:14I don't have it.

34:16I just tell them, just be honest about it.

34:19I just say, hey, I don't have it.

34:21You know, so, hey, there's no sense of you even thinking about coming back asking me, because I done told

34:26you.

34:27I don't have it.

34:28At least not for that person.

34:30And, you know, ain't nothing wrong with it.

34:32Ain't nothing wrong with it.

34:33You know what?

34:34Check this out.

34:35I've heard this, too.

34:36Don't feel ashamed if you don't have it.

34:38But, listen, I didn't say I didn't have it.

34:41I don't have it to give to you.

34:43Right.

34:43Yeah.

34:44And, you know, as far as, you know, it was something else that she said.

34:50And I was like, oh, yeah, like birthdays.

34:53How many people you know that have a birthday?

34:56Because you know what?

34:57I don't give birthday gifts out to, it's only, I can say there's three of my kids.

35:07I may send them some money or four.

35:10I can say four.

35:11I may send them some money.

35:12Most of the time, they don't even want it.

35:16And, of course, Diana, you know, and she'd be like, oh, no, you know, you cool, you know, whatever.

35:24So, hey, as far as giving, you know, buying gifts for a birthday, oh, man, no.

35:31That's the quickest way.

35:33You know, because I know one time I was in Vegas and I was getting, you know, I always get

35:39souvenirs for my sons.

35:41And I was buying them T-shirts and hats.

35:43I was at the Raiders store because I'm a Raiders fan.

35:46And I was in the Raiders store.

35:50And the guy said, man, this shirt, don't, I said, no, I'm getting it for my sons.

35:54And the dude said, your sons?

35:56I'm like, yeah.

35:57He said, how old are your sons?

35:58I told him.

35:58So, he said, man, he said, once my sons turn 18, they ain't getting nothing from me.

36:04I said, but that's you.

36:06I said, I'm on vacation and I'm enjoying myself out here.

36:11And these are gifts.

36:12They didn't ask me for it.

36:14I volunteered and I'm getting it for them because, you know, I'd like, I always like to buy Michael and

36:20Bird a cap and a T-shirt or sometime.

36:23Bird, he just now started wearing baseball caps.

36:26He was wearing fedoras, which I'm like, hey, man, I don't know about buying, you know, fedora every time I

36:31go out of town.

36:32But, you know, it's always been that way, you know, like, oh, he'll say, hey, dad, that T-shirt that

36:39you got Michael the last time.

36:41Can you think you can find me one while you're out there?

36:43Yeah, I got your son.

36:45You know, and the guy, he said, oh, man, he said, man, I ain't buying my sons nothing, blah, blah,

36:51blah.

36:51I said, okay, bro.

36:52I said, that's you.

36:53I said, hey, man, you going to let me get the cap and the hat since you were in?

36:57He was like, oh, yeah, I'm sorry, man.

36:58He said, I didn't mean no harm.

37:00I'm like, hey, there ain't none taken.

37:02Yeah, he was in his own feelings from whatever he had.

37:07Yeah.

37:08Like I said, you know, when it comes to birthdays, like my son, Mike, got a birthday coming up this

37:14Friday.

37:15Told him, hey, man, I'm going to send you something.

37:17You don't really have to, dad.

37:18I said, okay.

37:19I said, but don't say it too many times because I won't.

37:21He started laughing.

37:22You know, because I can't go and see him, I always send him something.

37:28And I tell him, hey, man, only reason why I'm doing this is because I cannot come and see you

37:32right now.

37:33And they say, oh, okay.

37:36And a lot of times, they say, dad, you don't have to send me nothing just as long as I

37:40can hear your voice.

37:42That's what I'm saying.

37:43And, yeah, and that's the way it is with them.

37:45I tell them, man, y'all ain't got to send me nothing, man.

37:47Just call me.

37:49That's all I ask.

37:50As long as I can hear your voice and we can talk, it's cool.

37:54I don't even send my sister nothing, man.

37:56I send her a text and say happy birthday.

37:59I think you reach a different point in your life when you realize that the materialistic things like that don't

38:08matter.

38:08Now, I used to always be the person that wanted something.

38:12And if somebody didn't get me something for my birthday, all of the folly days that I used to celebrate,

38:19I had a little attitude about it.

38:21But today, I don't even want to please don't get me nothing because, number one, you're probably going to get

38:26me something that I don't want that I already have.

38:29And I'm a minimalist and I don't need another T-shirt.

38:33I don't need another this, another that.

38:35And I was like, please don't because now I got to get rid of something.

38:38You're forcing me to get rid of something.

38:40Yes.

38:42And it's probably not even going to be something that I want or like anyway, not to sound that way.

38:47But just do me a favor.

38:49Save the money.

38:51Yes.

38:52And, you know, that's the way my sister and I, we both, you know, she has just sent me a

38:58happy birthday, you know.

38:59And that was the only thing that got me.

39:04Okay.

39:04And everybody have an unexpected expense.

39:09That is something that's guaranteed there.

39:11You should already, you know, you should already kind of like be putting something aside just for that emergency fund.

39:23Yes.

39:23Emergency.

39:24Exactly.

39:25You know, because, you know, like I said, hey, man, you may be going down the street and your tire

39:31blow out.

39:32Oh, you weren't expecting that.

39:34Or the holes, you know, bust in your vehicle, you know, you know, or something like that.

39:40So that's, you know, and even living in a house, you live in a house and something breaks, you have

39:51to pay for it to get it fixed.

39:54So I always, you know, I try to tell when I do talk to people, I say, man, put a

40:00little bit to the side, add up.

40:03Yes, indeed.

40:04And then, you know, like unexpected travel.

40:07No, I don't, I don't have unexpected travel.

40:11Well, I can't say that.

40:13I can't say that.

40:15But I know within the last, last few years, last year, I only had one expected travel.

40:23And that was because my son was coming from Lansing and he was going over to San Antonio to see

40:29his mom.

40:29And he said, hey, dad, I said, I'll be up there.

40:32And that was unexpected.

40:35But I was also had the money to do it with without it phasing me.

40:42So I would tell her, you know what, just keep doing what you're doing because you're going to always, and

40:51I always tell people, hey, even the rich have bills.

40:55They have unexpected expenses.

40:58They just don't broadcast it on TV.

41:02Now, you touched the base, unexpected expenses, unexpected travel.

41:09This is one thing that I want to put out there since you actually brought this up.

41:14You do have to prepare for the unexpected because life will life.

41:18And, you know, most people go into debt or they actually carry a lot of extra stress and baggage with

41:26them.

41:26And, by the way, this is National Mental Health Awareness Month.

41:30And a lot of people don't realize that a lot of mental health issues is triggered by money and finances.

41:37But if somebody gets seriously injured, God forbid somebody passes away and they are across country somewhere.

41:49So, therefore, now you're feeling the guilt of I can't get there or I can get there or what can

41:54I do?

41:55So then they end up going into debt, swiping credit cards, personal loans, and all types of stuff just to

42:00get plane tickets, travel accommodations to go to take care of business.

42:06So, yes, you do have to have money saved up for the unexpected because who knows what could happen.

42:13And there could be some unexpected travel or expenses that have to happen, hospitalizations, people in your family, loved ones

42:21that are injured.

42:23Yeah, that's why it's called an emergency fund.

42:26And homegirl here is dipping in to her savings for birthdays and co-workers leaving on the job and clothes

42:35and all of this nonsense.

42:37You definitely have to get your priorities straight.

42:40And a budget is where you know exactly where all your money is going to go for the month and

42:47you have to stick to it.

42:49You have to have some discipline to stick to it.

42:51And when you fall off course, this is what could be some of the reasons.

42:58Birthdays, last minute trips, clothes and car maintenance.

43:05And yeah, you got to prepare for.

43:08Yeah, because I mean, you know, anybody like I tell anybody, man, I, you know, if you have if you

43:15don't buy you a brand new vehicle or warranty, you are you going to have to pay to keep you

43:24got maintenance.

43:24OK, what is it?

43:26Well, I mean, I guess now people change their oil every six months.

43:29I know that's what I do in my vehicle.

43:32You know, this last one I got, I got it brand new straight off the lot.

43:37So every six, every six months, it's an oil change.

43:41I already know that, you know, as far as the tires, I'm always having my tires checked, you know.

43:49And when I take it in for the maintenance, they do, you know, they check everything to make sure everything

43:56is up to date.

43:58And if something is a recall, they, you know, get that fixed.

44:02So that's the only thing I can say is it is good to not if you can afford a nice

44:11vehicle without any payments.

44:14Just think about it and say, OK, if I did have to make a payment, I need to put that

44:21money aside.

44:24And not the whole car note, but, you know, some of it, like a fourth of it, put that aside

44:30for emergency.

44:35Absolutely.

44:37Yeah.

44:37And because, you know, I mean, you've got, you know, it's a lot of people when they do, they and

44:44I and I was, hey, I'm guilty of this.

44:48And I used to I've been thinking like that, you know, I've got, you know, just trying to make it

44:55from week to week, you know, and I never thought about.

45:01You know, if some emergency come up, what I'm going to do, you know, it never crossed my mind because,

45:08hey, I was just like I said, I was just trying to make it from week to week.

45:11And that's how I lived like that for a long time.

45:16I know what you mean.

45:18I know exactly what you mean.

45:20I mean, I'm still living, I'm still living like that, but not, not so much as where it's a pressure

45:29if something breaks down, you know, I can't, I can't get it fixed or something, you know.

45:35Yeah.

45:35When, like, like I was saying earlier this week on the financial wellness strategy session, when you know better, you

45:44do better.

45:45So, listen, becoming aware of the situations that you have, that's one thing.

45:51Now, once you're aware, okay, what can I do to level up and make sure that I'm not making the

45:56same mistakes or not even a mistake, just staying at the same level.

46:00Like, what do we need to do to level up?

46:02So, I get it.

46:04So, yeah, Miss Erica here, I think we have given her enough of what we need to give her.

46:13But, and of course, we can go on and on and on for, you know, hours speaking about this because

46:19these are just real life situations.

46:21So, plan for it.

46:23You know when the holidays are going to come.

46:26You know when birthdays are going to come.

46:27You know when some of these things are going to come.

46:29Just plan accordingly and know better.

46:32Yeah.

46:35So, thank you for your insight on that tonight.

46:38I appreciate that.

46:41And I can't, here we are again.

46:44We are almost up against the clock.

46:45So, another episode down, which is good.

46:51What you got going on over in your world?

46:57Oh, man.

46:58Today, I, man, it's crazy.

47:00Yesterday, I spent like three or four hours trying to get my author page.

47:04You know, when you, when you, when you're on KDP, you have an author page.

47:09And I was trying to get it up to date.

47:11And I went on there today, dude.

47:14And I seen something that I had been looking at and didn't, it didn't dawn on me.

47:20I clicked it in.

47:22And I'm like, oh, man, why didn't I do this anyway?

47:26You know, you want to put, I have a page.

47:28You put your book up and they show all your books that you have.

47:33Okay.

47:34And I had been, I had been texting, chatting with, and I just couldn't get it.

47:42And then the day I went in, I'm like, oh, man, all I had to do is put in the

47:46ISBN number.

47:47And I was like, man, I can't believe this.

47:54I can't believe this, man.

47:56I spent like three, four hours yesterday trying to get this.

48:00And this is all I had to do was put this in.

48:03You know, and I just been working on some new poems.

48:09Other than that, this week, it's one of them weeks.

48:13This is the first week of the month.

48:15So I normally don't have, have nothing this week.

48:21But I know next week I'll be having some readings, you know, to do, you know, we had the podcast

48:30every Wednesday.

48:31So that's already penciled in, you know, throughout the month.

48:36And I just want to say that my new book is out.

48:45But I got to, before I even say anything, I got to check and make sure that when you go

48:50to the, when I go to my Amazon account, that that one is showing.

48:55I know the other ones are on there.

48:57I just want to, you know, be sure.

49:00I don't want to tell people.

49:02And then they go there and say, well, I couldn't find it.

49:05Right, right, right.

49:06All right.

49:07So then we're going to put it.

49:09Huh?

49:10We're going to put that on deck then to discuss that next week then.

49:14Yeah.

49:15And then, you know, of course, you can go to, you can go to amazon.com slash author slash birdman313.

49:24You see my poetry books.

49:26You can go to youtube.com slash author, poet, birdman31355 to see my videos.

49:35Because I have uploaded, like, I think six new, yeah, six new videos that I, that I've been working on,

49:44that I have worked on, and I have finally posted them.

49:48I'm on Spotify on, at the coffee.

49:52You go to Spotify, you click on the coffee, wine, and words.

49:57And I have 12 videos on there.

50:01If you want anyone you want to check out.

50:04So, and other than that, I have nothing else going on.

50:11Oh, send me your address so I can send you a copy.

50:14Okay, I will.

50:16I will.

50:16It's actually on the bottom of my emails as well.

50:20Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.

50:23Yeah, because it's, you know, like, I always, you keep moving up.

50:29You would, like, at number 10.

50:31Now you're the mood of number five.

50:34On my list when I get, when I, when I do, because, you know, I do, I, I do.

50:41There's people that I do give books to.

50:44And it's mostly, it's like the ones that are, have a disability or they, you know, like, I say, I

50:56will say 70 and above, if any of them, I normally give them a copy free.

51:02I don't charge them because I know how it is money-wise.

51:08I got you.

51:10So, that, that, that's something that, that, you know, and, and you, you can't move up no closer than five

51:17because, you know, four of my sons are on there.

51:22Right.

51:23And then Diana's on there.

51:25Now, three of my sons, excuse me, three, no.

51:28Yeah, three of my sons is on there.

51:30And then, you know, of course, Diana, you know, that's all, that's automatic there, you know, and then you're next.

51:38I feel, I feel honored.

51:40I want to say thank you so much.

51:42I appreciate you.

51:45Yeah.

51:46Yeah.

51:46Then I, then I started naming off, then I started going down the list of people.

51:51Like when I go to Austin, you know, I take a, I take a handful of books and it's, it's,

51:57it's like maybe three people that I give a book to, the rest have to buy them.

52:02So, you know, that's just the way I do it, man.

52:05And I, I tell people, you know, I'm not trying to get rich off of my books.

52:14So, you know, if I know you and you, and you know, you, we've been knowing each other for a

52:23while.

52:23Sometime I'll just say, here, here's a copy, you know, here's a copy, you know, cause I give her daughter,

52:30her daughter like eBooks.

52:32So I always give her, you know, one of my books, I give her daughter, Diana, I should say Diana.

52:37I give her daughter eBook.

52:39This lady out there, she's a musician.

52:42We met her strangely how we met her, but she's a good friend.

52:47And whenever she had new music coming out, she'll call and let me know.

52:51I'll give her an eBook also.

52:55Okay.

52:56All right.

52:57Well, I'm looking forward to it and we definitely going to talk about it next week.

53:01Okay.

53:01And yeah, on that note, I want to say thank you so much and yeah, I'll be talking to you

53:09soon.

53:10Okay.

53:11You have a good weekend.

53:13You too.

53:15All right.

53:16Enjoy.

53:16And yeah, I'll be talking to you.

53:19Okay.

53:20All right.

53:20Take care.

53:21Take care now.

53:23Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.

53:25That was author, poet, Birdman313.

53:38This was a good, good episode.

53:40We definitely covered a lot of ground and it was very high energy tonight.

53:46So yeah, good episode.

53:48Good episode.

53:49I want to say thank you all so much for joining in.

53:51If you heard anything that sparked some sort of interest, anything that you like about that

53:58debt-free living, about that emergency fund, about that planning, about that saving, about

54:03that investing, head on over to laryngaines.com, sign up for that free 15-minute consultation.

54:10Apply to see if you qualify for the coaching sessions.

54:14And on that note, ladies and gentlemen, tune in, stay connected.

54:20Please like, comment, share, subscribe, tag a friend, text a friend, do whatever you need

54:25to do to invite people in to the 4-in-1 podcast, Reading Between the Wines.

54:29You never know what you're going to get.

54:31You never know what breakthrough.

54:32These are real conversations that will lead you in financial.

54:38On that note, ladies and gentlemen, I will see you when I see you.

54:42Thank you so much.

54:44Have a good night.

54:50Have a good night.

You Budget for Bills, Not for Life | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 28)

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