She Likes Stability, I'm Leasing Confidence | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 30) - video Dailymotion

Lerin Gaines

She Likes Stability, I'm Leasing Confidence | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 30)   Featuring: Wine Down Wednesday, Mentorship Series   Wednesday | May 20, 2026   Streaming LIVE on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES   https://leringaines.com  https://linktr.ee/leringaines  https://www.facebook.com/leringaines  http://instagram.com/leringaines  https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines  http://twitter.com/leringaines  https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines  https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines  https://kick.com/leringaines  https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines   Song of The Day: "Tricks On My Mind" by Montell Jordan  Released 1996 | More...   Burning Questions for Reflections!  How much of your lifestyle is actually about enjoyment, and how much is about avoiding judgment?   Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions...  Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com   DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, KICK, Twitch, DailyMotion)   Sign up for my FREE Monthly Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!   Subscribe now at LerinGaines.com   #Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #KICK #Twitch #DailyMotion #DebtFreeLiving #FinancialCoach #LerinGaines #411Podcast #RBTW #ReadingBetweenTheWines #BurningQuestions #BlackDiamondConsultations #VacationWithMe #WhispersofWisdom #DISC6 #Vitality   DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.   411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines  DISC 6: Vitality  Track 30: She Likes Stability, I'm Leasing Confidence  ©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network  LerinGaines.com

Transcript

02:59This is a sanctuary for self-discovery, healing, and personal growth.

03:04Here, we explore what it means to live debt-free.

03:07Not just financially, but spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

03:12Every episode is a part of a journey across our weekly mentorship series.

03:18Spiritual Sundays, Mental Mondays, Transformational Tuesdays, Wind-Down Wednesdays, Coaching Sessions Thursdays, and Financial Fridays.

03:27Each day holds space for wisdom, clarity, and real conversations.

03:33So, grab your journal, pour your glass, and prepare to go beyond the surface.

03:38Deep inside we don't just talk, we transform lives.

03:41And now, here's your guide through it all.

03:45Entrepreneur, mentor, and financial coach, Laren Gaines.

04:01Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome on in, y'all.

04:04Welcome in to another episode of Reading Between the Wines.

04:09We are on episode 30, She Likes Stability.

04:14I'm Leasing Confidence.

04:16I am so thankful to be here.

04:19Thank you all so much for joining in.

04:22If you can please do me a favor, please hit that like button.

04:31Please drop me some comments.

04:35Tag a friend.

04:36Text a friend.

04:38Do whatever you need to do what you have been doing to support this movement.

04:44And I want to say thank you again.

04:47Most importantly, I would like to give a very special thank you to my executive producer.

04:53I want to thank God for giving me enough confidence, patience, guidance through all of this.

05:00Because without you, none of this would be possible.

05:04And then again, without each and every one of you out there listening, checking in, this would not be possible

05:11as well.

05:12So, shout out to people out there on YouTube, Facebook.

05:16Thank you all for checking in early in the morning.

05:19I definitely do appreciate y'all.

05:21But again, the best thing that you can do is share this out.

05:24Share this podcast out.

05:25Share this video out.

05:28Whatever you can do to help.

05:29I definitely do appreciate it.

05:32So, it's Wind Down Wednesday.

05:34We getting ready to go on a journey.

05:35I got a good one.

05:37And this is a very powerful message.

05:40So, let's get into it.

05:43Song of the day.

05:57Tricks on my mind.

05:59Montel Jordan, released in 1996 off of his sophomore album, More.

06:08So, tricks on my mind.

06:12That's a problem right there.

06:15Because sometimes people like to play tricks on our mind.

06:23Sometimes the enemy enjoys and thrives off of playing tricks on your mind.

06:30See, I had to think about it.

06:35Because, see, when there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.

06:42Some of us, again, and I don't know who I'm speaking to.

06:45I'm only speaking from real life experiences.

06:48Things that I've been through.

06:50Some of us, we are our own worst enemy.

06:54So, when we have all sorts of discord, when we have all sorts of hell and drama and confusion going

07:04on within, that allows the enemy access to continue to press the gas and go full force.

07:12Your doors, your doors aren't locked, your doors aren't shut, your doors aren't shut, when you are the enemy.

07:20When you are your own worst enemy.

07:22You allow every single door, window, entrance, you invite the enemy in.

07:31When there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.

07:37So, the first step that I believe to stop all of the tricks that are being played on your mind

07:43is to clean up your own house.

07:47Start inside.

07:48Everything starts with self.

07:52And with tricks being played, games being played, nonsense, drama, sometimes there's fear, there's anxiety, there's doubt.

08:04You start to second guess who you are because you don't know who you are.

08:07And 2 Timothy, verse 1 through 7 reminds me,

08:12For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound

08:18mind.

08:18And so, before I sign up for someone being able to play tricks on my mind, I have to remember

08:26that God has given me a sound mind.

08:29So, a sound mind does not allow tricks to be played, games to be played.

08:37See, when there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.

08:43If you find yourself in a situation where, wow, people are playing games, they have me second guessing of who

08:50I am.

08:52Maybe because I don't know who I am.

08:56You're going to need to do some research.

08:58You're going to need to dig deep.

08:59You're going to need to unplug.

09:01You're going to need to get with self because everything starts with self.

09:04And if God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a

09:08sound mind.

09:10If there are mind games being played, if there are tricks are being played, you know that's not from God.

09:16That's from the enemy.

09:18Because he's already told you that he has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, knowing who

09:25you are.

09:26For love, walking in love, being love, being God-like, and of a sound mind.

09:36You ain't crazy.

09:38You don't have anxiety.

09:40You don't have doubt.

09:41You know exactly who you are.

09:44And you can think clearly.

09:45You can think straight.

09:49Having a great level of discernment.

09:55That is key.

09:56Because when we allow these people to come in to our circle, when we allow these people to come into

10:02our world, see, some of them come to play games.

10:05Some of them come to wreak havoc.

10:07Some of them come to knock us off of our game because they already know who we are.

10:12See, the enemy knows who you are.

10:14And the enemy is very clever and very cunning and trying to get you to think less about yourself.

10:23When there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.

10:27See, they already know because they can see the light.

10:30They can see you shining bright.

10:32And they're like, okay, I see and I know who this person is.

10:37They don't even know who they are, but I can see it.

10:40So let me knock them off of their game so that they don't shine bright and dim my light.

10:47See, the enemy is very jealous.

10:51And I also wanted to keep this on the forefront so that we don't forget because we are halfway through

10:57this month, but May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

11:02So we have to make sure that we keep this on the forefront because most people skip over this.

11:08They don't take care of their mental health.

11:11They will be quick to allow other people to come in and wreck havoc all over their world, twist them

11:20upside down, have them second guessing about who they are.

11:27I'm telling you, I'm going to say it again.

11:31When there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.

11:36Peep the people in your circle.

11:39That person that claims to be a friend, they may not always be the best friend.

11:43You have to develop, ask, pray for that great level of discernment and be able to separate the BS from

11:50the truth.

11:53And when fear kicks in, when doubt creeps in, when anxiety and all of these other weird things,

12:01just know that that's not from God because God is going to give you love, power and have a sound

12:06mind.

12:06You're going to know who you are.

12:08You're going to be able to walk in confidence and know exactly who you are.

12:13I was speaking to somebody over the weekend and I said, listen, check this out.

12:22There's two paths you can go on.

12:24And I know you may not be able to see right now.

12:26Easier said than done.

12:28Back in 2020 and before 2020, I was a mess.

12:31I didn't know whether I was coming or going.

12:33And see, I always used to sign up for fear.

12:36But see, today I signed up for faith.

12:38Both of them, you can't see it.

12:40You can't see fear and you can't see faith.

12:44You don't even know what is.

12:46You can't see it.

12:47You can't reach out.

12:49You can't touch it.

12:50You can't see it.

12:52Either one of them are going to come up in the future.

12:55It's all based on a mindset.

12:57So I had to ask myself, OK, listen, I've always thought that I was my own worst enemy.

13:03I always thought that all hell was going to break loose.

13:06The world was coming to an end.

13:08This person was going to do that before they even decided to do anything.

13:12I was always making up my own scenarios in my own head based off of fear.

13:17So I said, check this out.

13:20I didn't hit my financial rock bottom.

13:23I can't get any lower.

13:24Or I've signed up for the enemy's plan majority of my life.

13:28How about I just do something different?

13:29I can't see fear, nor can I see faith.

13:32All of those things that I saw when it came from the fearful side, I basically made it

13:36all up in my mind.

13:37Well, you know what?

13:38I need to become the master of my own mind today.

13:41So guess what we're going to do?

13:42We're going to start to think positive, beautiful, wonderful things over my life.

13:46And that's exactly what I did.

13:48And that's how I started to pick myself up off the ground and get to higher levels because

13:53I signed up for faith versus fear.

13:56Neither one of them you can see.

13:57Neither one of you you can touch.

14:00It's all basically the mindset.

14:03So the question that I have to ask each and every one of you out there today, which one

14:07you signing up for, fear or faith?

14:09Neither one of them are here right now.

14:11You have to walk into them.

14:12Now, what do you want to walk into, fear or you want to walk into faith?

14:17Song of the day.

14:18Don't let the enemy play tricks on your mind.

14:21Montel Jordan, 1996, off of his sophomore album, his second album, More.

14:29Yeah.

14:31Told y'all.

14:32Told y'all.

14:33That one came to me.

14:35That one definitely did come to me.

14:37So I had to bring it to y'all.

14:39All right.

14:40So I'm sampling this bottle of wine.

14:43OZV.

14:44It is 94 points.

14:48It has a label of 94 points from the wine enthusiasts.

14:51This is old vine Ziffindale.

14:54One of my favorite grapes, Ziffindale.

14:57And it is from 2022.

15:01And that's so profound because 2022 is the year that I started to get myself together

15:08from a financial perspective.

15:10I got myself together from a spiritual perspective and focused heavily on a mental perspective

15:16between 20 and 22.

15:18But then I was missing a piece and I still didn't have my finances in order by 2022.

15:24All hell broke loose in 2020.

15:26But by 2022, I was like, okay, now what do we need to do?

15:30We need to get to the next level.

15:31So I'm taking that as I see that year that this was put together in 2022.

15:38I was getting ready to say harvested.

15:40I don't even know where that word came from.

15:42But so OZV, old vine Ziffindale, Lodi, five generations of grape grown heritage enable us

15:53to craft this delicious expression of Lodi's unique terror jammy with milk, chocolate, boysenberry

16:03and mocha flavors with a supple mouthfeel.

16:08And then it says, enjoy.

16:11And I'm going to say cheers.

16:13And I want to say thank you all for joining in on another episode of Reading Between the

16:18Wines.

16:18I definitely do appreciate you.

16:20And we're getting ready to go on a journey here tonight.

16:24Thank you for joining in.

16:30This definitely smells very oaky.

16:37But I will tell you, it definitely has that.

16:41I can get that berry, that boysenberry taste off of this here.

16:47I can taste the jammy notes.

16:50This is a good one.

16:53And normally I would say Ziffindale would be a little, it can be on the dry side.

17:01But this one is pretty decent.

17:04And it almost gives me semi-sweet vibes.

17:08Wow, this is a good one.

17:1014.5% alcohol volume.

17:14This one definitely is different.

17:16It has a, it's giving me some semi-sweet vibes.

17:19Almost along the lines of, and I can't believe that I just lost it at this moment.

17:27My favorite, one of my other favorites, but it's going to come to me.

17:31It's giving me, I can't even think of it, but it'll, it'll come back towards the middle

17:38of the show, I'm sure.

17:39But okay.

17:40In any case, now it's time to go ahead and bring in special guests, friend of the show,

17:47author, poet, Birdman313.

18:05What's going on?

18:06What's going on?

18:07Hey, how's it going?

18:09It's going good.

18:11It's going good.

18:1190 degrees here for the past three days.

18:14Man, all we getting is rain now.

18:18Well, we got some of that up here today too.

18:21Yeah.

18:21Yeah, I know.

18:22So, I mean, it's all right.

18:25You know, expect that long.

18:27It don't get too crazy.

18:28I'm all right.

18:31What, we're crazy with the rain or the heat?

18:34With the rain.

18:35Oh.

18:37Yeah.

18:38It floods here a lot.

18:40This is, well, the area I'm in, it doesn't really flood that much.

18:46But other parts of Houston, where my parents lived at, where they was at, ooh, man, every

18:54time it rained, it flooded.

18:56Hmm.

18:59Well, I've only experienced one time where it flooded so bad.

19:02I was driving home and, you know, I got an electric car.

19:06So, that one kind of, like, makes me think.

19:10Like, the battery lays underneath the car.

19:12So, I don't think it's a good idea to be driving through huge puddles with a battery that's

19:18strapped underneath the car.

19:20Oh, that's where it's at?

19:22Yeah.

19:22It lays underneath the entire, you know, body of the car.

19:27Wow.

19:28So, now I'm thinking.

19:30Yeah.

19:30I'm thinking.

19:31You ever been to the amusement parks where they have this ride called the log flume?

19:39Yes.

19:39I don't know if you see, but it's a log where, you know, you splash down.

19:43It was that much, it poured, it downpoured so much, so, so, so much, that it started to

19:49come downhill that I swore that I was on the log flume ride in my car.

19:54So, I said, I said, God, is this it?

19:58Like, this how we doing?

20:00We going to go out on the flood like this?

20:03Yeah.

20:04It got bad a couple times.

20:08Hey, since you said that, hey, I want to, something they showed on the news, this guy

20:14down, I think he was down in Galveston, and he, you know, he got him a Tesla, and I guess,

20:20I don't know if you have one, but, you know, his, it says that he have the wave, whatever

20:28that control is, so he drove out in the water.

20:35He drove out, he drove out in the water.

20:38Oh, he has, yeah, I know what you mean.

20:43Well, anyway, he drove out in the water, and it didn't work.

20:48So, guess what, guess where he ended up, in jail.

20:51What?

20:53No.

20:53Yeah.

20:53You said he has the thing that navigates and tells him where to go?

20:59No.

21:00It, okay, it navigates for him.

21:03It says it's supposed to navigate while he's in water.

21:06That's what it is.

21:08No, that's crazy.

21:09Yeah.

21:09He wanted to see if it really worked.

21:12I never heard of no Tesla being able to go in water.

21:15First of all, I never heard of any car that's able to go in water.

21:18I know it, but he says that it's in the truck.

21:22That's what it is.

21:23Oh, I guess that, yeah, that's the truck.

21:25Look at that.

21:26Yeah.

21:27So, he decided to drive off into the water, and his vehicle, they had to go and rescue him.

21:34And when they rescued him, they said, okay, you might as well come on downtown with us and sit for

21:38a few.

21:39And he had to get his vehicle towed out, and it's damaged.

21:44Oh, I'm sure it is.

21:45And I'm going to tell you that, I don't have a Tesla, but I'll tell you that them Teslas,

21:50when them doors lock up, when something goes wrong, you can't get out.

21:55So, that wasn't a smart thing to do.

21:57You know what?

21:58I have a friend out in L.A., and she's a district, well, she used to be a district attorney.

22:06She retired.

22:06And I had read something about that, and I asked her about it, and she said, yeah.

22:12She said the only bad thing about it is she said that she could be, if she wanted to go

22:19home,

22:21if somebody else programmed it, that they could send her wherever they want to and not to her house.

22:29Absolutely not.

22:30No, I'm sorry.

22:32Well, that's coming.

22:33That is coming, regardless of whether we like it or not, because next year, 2027,

22:38do you know that all cars are going to have a surveillance camera built into them?

22:45I believe it.

22:47And it's going to get pretty soon, that the minute that you run a red light or do something you

22:52ain't supposed to do,

22:53the car is going to lock up and drive you right to the police station.

22:57Really?

22:58I'm sure.

22:59I made that part up, but I'm sure.

23:04Well, I'm not worried about it, because you know what?

23:06I have a 2015.

23:07I bought it when it was right on the lot.

23:11Ain't about to change now.

23:13Oh, no.

23:13They're going to make you get rid of it.

23:14They're going to make you get rid of it.

23:16How?

23:18I'm making this up again, too.

23:20Okay.

23:22Check this out, though.

23:23Check this out.

23:24Okay.

23:25So, it's 2027.

23:27These new cars were issued.

23:28Everybody check this out.

23:30By the year 2030, we need you to have all cars updated.

23:34You either buy a brand new one with the surveillance cameras in them, or if not, we're going to give

23:38you a kit where you install it.

23:40And if you don't install it and you get pulled over, there's going to be some consequences.

23:46No, I just made that up.

23:50Yeah.

23:51You had to be, man.

23:53No, I didn't make it up about 2027 when the new vehicles.

23:57Yes, that is absolutely correct.

23:59All new vehicles starting next year will have surveillance cameras built in them.

24:03So, if you think that you're going to drive drunk, if you think that you're going to do something crazy,

24:08if you think you're going to do illegal activities, if you think you're even going to be in your car

24:13talking crazy and slick like you don't have no sense about what you are going to do, trust and believe

24:18somebody's going to be listening.

24:24All right, so all that illegal activities that y'all be doing in your cars, coming to an end if

24:33you get a brand new one.

24:39So, now it's time to get into the money hack segment.

24:43Yes, yes, yes.

24:44What number you got for us tonight?

24:48Oh, let me try 76.

24:5376, what we got here.

24:59Hmm.

25:01All right.

25:02Anybody interested in selling a home?

25:06So, hire an agent with expertise in your neighborhood and price point.

25:10You should never go to see a heart surgeon for a bad knee.

25:15When it comes to selling your home, you want to work with a real estate agent who truly specializes in

25:20the characteristics of your home.

25:22Everyone has a niche.

25:23Some agents are known for selling high-end trade-up homes, while others are focused on neighborhoods with more affordable

25:29homes.

25:29Some agents are dialed into the condo market.

25:32Others aren't.

25:33Work with an agent who truly knows how to get the most value for your home.

25:38I agree with that.

25:40What do you think?

25:42Well, you know, God blessings.

25:45I'm not even looking forward to nothing like that.

25:47I'm not looking for another home, another vehicle, or another woman.

25:54I'm happy with all three right where I'm at.

25:59So, you know what?

26:00All that, anybody, you can talk about it all you want.

26:04I have no interest in it.

26:05I know that's right.

26:09Yeah, I feel you on that.

26:11Certain things.

26:12Hey, man, Diana, when I said that, she looked at me like, lost your mind or something.

26:21Well, you said it right.

26:22You hit all the points.

26:24Yeah.

26:25It makes sense.

26:27Yeah, I feel you on that.

26:29When you get things off of you, we was just thinking about 2022.

26:33When you get some things up off of you, you're like, no, I'm good.

26:39When I get credit card applications in the mail, I don't even look at them.

26:45I rip them up and throw them right in the garbage.

26:46And I remember just saying, is there going to be a point where you stop?

26:50Because I'm not doing it.

26:52I've done it several times before.

26:54You can send them all you want.

26:56I ain't even going to respond to them.

26:58Yeah, I know my bank keeps sending them.

27:00Man, I'm like, man, you're wasting your paper and me.

27:04Exactly.

27:05Yeah, because I ain't doing none of that.

27:07Nah.

27:09Right.

27:10That's what I'm talking about.

27:13All right.

27:14So let's go and get into tonight's assignment here.

27:17We're going to speak about flexing.

27:20See, sometimes we flex and I meant to bring this up with the song of the day, too, with tricks

27:26being played on your mind.

27:27Sometimes we flex mentally.

27:32We flex on the outer appearance and it can become an issue when we think we want to flex so

27:37much, you know, keeping up with the Joneses, keeping up with appearances, thinking that we are more than what we

27:43really are.

27:44And a lot of that is from just being insecure and really not knowing who you are.

27:48So you put on all these extra things to try to make yourself feel like you're something.

27:55So we go on your area.

27:58Houston, Texas.

27:59How far are you from Houston?

28:01I'm right in Houston.

28:02Okay.

28:03Okay.

28:04Okay.

28:05Julian, 38 years old and still trying to look more successful than I actually feel.

28:11So I didn't realize how much I would be back that up.

28:15I didn't realize how much of my spending was tied to dating until recently.

28:21The car lease.

28:22Oh, you're going to lease a car to go on a date.

28:25The expensive restaurants, the designer colognes, the upscale apartment.

28:30I barely stay in because I work all the time trying to afford it.

28:33I keep telling myself it's about standards, presentation, confidence.

28:37But honestly, honestly, honestly, some of it is fear.

28:43Fear that if I slow down financially, women will see me differently.

28:47Fear that side.

28:49Wow.

28:50I'm just making up all kinds of words tonight.

28:52Fear that being stable isn't enough anymore.

28:56So having fear that that being stable isn't enough anymore.

29:01Last month, I took a woman out three weekends in a row, dinner, drinks, valet, all of it.

29:07I checked my account afterwards and got irritated, not at her, but at myself, because I knew I was

29:12performing.

29:13The crazy part is she never asked for any of it.

29:16I created the pressure in my own mind, tricks on my mind.

29:20Somewhere along the line, I connected manhood to spending power.

29:24Like being desired meant proving I could afford things all the time.

29:30Meanwhile, I'm carrying credit card debt and postponing real financial goals just to maintain an image that looks successful from

29:36the outside.

29:37I want a relationship, real peace too, but I don't know how to date honestly.

29:43When so much of modern dating feels tied to appearances and money.

29:48How do you send anyone confident from expensive insecurity?

29:53What do you have for Julian?

29:57Oh, man, you know, when I've seen this, I'm like, how old are you, man?

30:0438.

30:05I mean, come on.

30:06Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

30:07And I'm like, you act like, okay, you 38, but you acting like you 18.

30:15And then it also kind of tells, well, you got to know the areas down here.

30:21You kind of almost tell which area he lived in.

30:25You could tell that he had no guidance when he was growing up about spending.

30:39He's watching the streets.

30:41He's watching the videos too much.

30:46And I know he probably, if he seen me, he would probably, you know, want to knock me out because

30:53I would tell him, dude, what are you smoking?

30:57You acting like a real trick now.

31:01I can use that word, right?

31:03Yeah, we got the sensor on here.

31:05You good.

31:06Oh, okay.

31:06Okay.

31:08Okay.

31:09I got you, you know.

31:11But no, that's how he's acting.

31:14You know, I mean, he wants everybody to see him.

31:18But, you know, I guess because the way I was raised, it was always, it's not what's on the outside.

31:28It's what's on the inside.

31:30I know that's right.

31:32That's in a good book.

31:34Yeah.

31:35And, you know, that was something that I was raised on, you know, constantly.

31:41It was in my mind.

31:43I always had older people speaking to me.

31:47It wasn't just my dad or my mom.

31:50It was people in the neighborhood, older guys who used to come to the park and watch us play ball.

31:58They used to talk to us about them things, you know.

32:02You know, he, like I said, he just, he too streetwise, you know, he's leasing a vehicle.

32:11So, I mean, leasing, man, buy a vehicle and get through with it because when the lease is over with,

32:19you're going to either have to pay for it or you're going to have to get another vehicle.

32:23Mm-hmm.

32:24Mm-hmm.

32:24You know, he's living in upscale apartments that he don't even stay in half the time.

32:31Huh.

32:32You can find, you can find you a nice apartment around here or even a home.

32:40No, no, because she going to judge him if he's not staying in.

32:45That's another thing, too, because of the women play a role in this, too, the women that you pick because

32:51if she feels a certain way because you don't stay here or you don't drive this or whatever, you know

32:59where I'm coming from.

33:00I know, and you know what?

33:02I was getting ready to get to that part.

33:04He needs to find him a lady that is down to earth.

33:10Like he said, he took this lady out three times on three different weekends, and, you know, to me, that's

33:20like, okay, dude, who are you trying to impress?

33:22Are you trying to impress her?

33:24You're trying to impress yourself?

33:27You're trying to impress your friends or where you're hanging out to?

33:31Because, hey, I'm going to tell you something.

33:34When he said that, just the weekend, just going out, he doesn't spend anywhere from $300 to $500.

33:43Most clubs in Houston is $75 to $100 just to get in the door.

33:50I beg your pardon?

33:52Yeah.

33:53Yeah.

33:55And parking is just as expensive.

33:59Wait a minute.

33:59If you're going in to buy a bottle, you're going to spend a good $50, and that's for the cheap

34:05liquor.

34:06Wait a minute.

34:08Can you say that again so that people can hear?

34:10How much is it?

34:11Because of the last time that I went to a club, a bar, before the pandemic, I'm paying like $20

34:18to get in.

34:19Now, well, see, they got this district called Washington.

34:23That's where all the influencers and everybody wanted to show off, and they got a lot of these expensive hotels.

34:32Because it's from $50 to, no, $75 to $100 just to get into a club.

34:40Okay.

34:41So, anybody who is paying $75 and up just to get into a club, this is what I have to

34:48say for you.

34:53And then, ballet parking is the same.

35:00Okay.

35:00You can't walk a couple feet blocks to get to the club that you need ballet parking?

35:06Well, most people, when they do that, they get robbed.

35:08Oh, well, that's a whole different thing.

35:11Okay.

35:12I got you.

35:13And the fact that if you buy a bottle, it's $50.

35:20And I'm like, a bottle?

35:21They say, yeah, some of these clubs down here, when you sit at the table, it's a lot of places

35:27you've got to reserve the table.

35:29Yeah.

35:30Let's pick it in.

35:31Okay.

35:32And then, the bottle is $100.

35:37$100.

35:37Yeah, you're right.

35:38I'm sorry.

35:39It's $50 for the bottle.

35:41Well, it's $50 on up, so $100 ain't bad.

35:44Mm-hmm.

35:44You know?

35:45And when he said all that, I'm like, dude, just for the weekend, you spending at least anywhere from $300

35:54to $500, then you know she's going to want to eat.

35:57Eat.

35:59I'll think you know what.

36:03And I'll say, hey, they go, hey, you take something, you take a female out, she's going to want it

36:12all.

36:14All right, you know what?

36:15This show is over.

36:16This show is over.

36:18He said, you know she's going to want to eat.

36:21Yeah.

36:22Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

36:24Yeah.

36:25Yes.

36:26And, you know, it's ridiculous.

36:28But you know what's going to end up happening is when he get older, he's going to sit back and

36:34he's going to look back and he's going to say, why did I do all of that?

36:40I mean, I have friends that did when we was, you know, I have friends that was like that.

36:45And now when I see them, I look at them and I'll be wanting to say, what happened to you?

36:52But I don't say it that nicely.

36:54You know, what happened to you?

36:58You know, you see them and they are hold, hold out.

37:05They like, you know, you look at them, you know, and you like, and then you think about it and

37:13you'd be like, oh, I remember this person when he was, you know, he kept himself together.

37:22But because of all the foolishness, he did grow up and wouldn't put nothing away, set nothing aside, trying to,

37:30trying to, you know, front, as I call it, that's what us old school call it, trying to front in

37:38front of your friends.

37:40Look where you at now.

37:42I have a friend right now that's in that situation.

37:46He has no teeth.

37:49He's living, he's living, you said something, you know, this dude used to, no, it was a little delay.

38:01All right, go ahead.

38:01Oh, and, and, and he, he used to, I mean, hey, every day you seen him, he had at least

38:07$2,000 in his pocket.

38:09He had gold necklace, watches, bracelets, you know, and teeth.

38:14Now you see him, he don't have no teeth.

38:16He don't have no jewelry.

38:18I mean, if you look at his clothes and you'd be like, wow, man, when have you changed clothes?

38:25You said, look at some of these people and they hold out.

38:30Now.

38:30No, I said, hold, H-U-L-L, hold out.

38:36Oh, I thought you said something else.

38:38I said, no, no, no, no, no, no.

38:41I said, hold out.

38:42So that's what we, that's how, you know, like I said, that's like a lot of the guys I hang

38:47out with, they be all, man, he hold out.

38:50Oh, okay, okay, okay.

38:53Wow.

38:54I ain't going to use that word no more.

38:56Because, you know, and I thought about it, I said, okay, it do sound like that.

39:00But no, it's, it's, they said, man, you know, hey, man, I do hold out, you know.

39:04It ain't nothing to him no more.

39:06Just a shell.

39:07Oh, now that makes sense.

39:09I got you.

39:10I got you.

39:10Yeah.

39:11Yeah.

39:12Yeah.

39:14Well, you know, this is about keeping up with appearances.

39:18I like the fact that you said nobody taught him anything.

39:21And that's exactly right.

39:23And sometimes when you don't teach people, when you don't teach the next generation that's looking up to you, and

39:29it don't even have to be your own kids.

39:31It could, you could be an uncle, you could be an auntie, you could be, you know, just that person

39:35that's around the neighborhood, around the way.

39:37And that kid is looking up to you on everything that you do, whether you say something or you don't

39:44say it, a lot is caught, more is caught than more is taught.

39:48These people will end up repeating the same cycle.

39:51So Julian must have seen somebody flexing and all of this type of stuff.

39:54And when he grew up, he said, okay, I need to do the same thing because this is it.

39:58And like you said, the videos, the TV, the celebrities, the perception, I think it was one of these comedians

40:07that just came out and put something that says, most of the people that y'all see on TV, these

40:11ends don't got no money.

40:14Right.

40:14But it's an illusion that they're making y'all think.

40:17And this drives me nuts.

40:18These people will listen to these celebrities and think that every single thing that they do is, you know, gospel.

40:26And you have no idea what's going on behind the scenes.

40:29And most of them just be miserable and broke as the next.

40:34So stop trying to keep up with the Joneses and emulate in what you, you better make sure that the

40:42person that you're looking up to is a good mentor because you're going to follow that same path.

40:47And by the time you see you like, oh, snap, it ain't really what is too late because you followed

40:55through that gate a little bit too far and you didn't turn back around.

40:59And by the time you get ready to turn back around, the gate and the door is going to be

41:03shut and locked and you're already living in hell.

41:06You know, and see, because like I said, there's an area in Houston that everybody in that area that hangs

41:17out, they, you know, that this is how they dress.

41:21We're going to see who have the nice vehicles.

41:23They have car, they do have car shows down here and they, you know, you will say that there's stereos

41:33and then you got some people who the stereo system is worth more than the car itself.

41:39I, you know, that's interesting.

41:41You said that there was one pastor that got upset at somebody and he said, listen, I think it was

41:46TD Jakes.

41:47His friend came up and I know we up against the clock here.

41:51His friend came up and had this fly car.

41:55And then he said, I'm going to take you for a ride in it.

41:58So they went around the block and Jakes got out and slammed the car door.

42:01He says, what you slam my brand new car door for?

42:04He says, because you got more car than you have house.

42:07Yes, yes.

42:08And then that's the way it is.

42:10And like I said, there's area, a section where people hang, some of these guys hang out at and they,

42:15all of them is trying to see who can, they can one up or they try to see, or how

42:22many different, like he said, he can, he didn't know how to do, he don't even know how to be

42:27in a relationship.

42:29And, and that's another thing.

42:31No one really sit down and talk to this young man about how to treat a woman, how to really

42:41just dress.

42:42Cause you don't have, you don't have to be all fly.

42:44And I, like I said, I learned that, learned that at a young age and he's worried about the women

42:51looking at him, turning up their nose.

42:54So man, bro, they're going to do that anyway.

42:58Right.

42:58And that's how, you know, and let them do it because actually that's going to teach you which ones you

43:02need to be picking anyway.

43:05Hey, well, by then ain't nobody going to want them.

43:13Like I said, when I, when I seen this, I read this and I'm like, wow, man, I'm not, I,

43:20I kind of thought, I mean, like I said, at his age and he's talking like this, you would think

43:29the way the times are now,

43:32you know, with everything's so expensive, he would, you know, be setting some money aside for a rainy day.

43:42That good, that good old emergency fund.

43:46Exactly.

43:48And, you know, like I said, him leasing the vehicle, man, I ain't leasing nobody vehicle because like I said,

43:54at the end of the lease, you got, you got to either pay the whole thing off.

44:01Or you're going to have to give it up.

44:04Exactly.

44:05And at the rate he going, when that lease is up, he got to hang the keys back to the

44:10dealership.

44:11I knew you was about to say that.

44:14And then sometimes they charge you to, oh, they got this little ding here.

44:18They got this little scratch here because what they want you to do is to lease another one.

44:22But when you be like, nah, I'm good, bro.

44:24You can take it back.

44:25Oh, oh, oh.

44:25So you're not doing business with us no more.

44:27Or let me remind you that we let you borrow this car for the past three years and look what

44:33you did to it.

44:34Yeah, I had that.

44:35I had that happen to me, too.

44:37Oh, wow.

44:39Go ahead.

44:40And, you know, where you living at, I mean, if you got a lot of people running in your home,

44:49you better be careful because they ain't just looking at that.

44:53Well, no, I should say, when they come in your home, they looking at anything that can walk away.

45:00And that includes if he had a woman, they'd be looking at that, too.

45:06And that's just, you know, I tell my sons all the time, it ain't good to have a lot of

45:13people hanging around at your house because you never know what one of them did.

45:20And next thing you know, you're in a world of trouble.

45:26I'm going to leave on this note here.

45:28Yeah.

45:29He says that he wants a real relationship.

45:31Well, the problem is, is that this relationship that you want is with self.

45:36You need to learn how to have a relationship with yourself, because if you have that real relationship with yourself,

45:43you'll then for know how to have a relationship with somebody else.

45:46You don't know how to have a, let me back it up.

45:49You don't know how to have a relationship with yourself.

45:52Therefore, you're going about this one all the wrong way.

45:54You're going about it with appearances, the outer appearance.

45:59See, man looks at the outer appearance.

46:01God is going to judge you from the inside.

46:03Man, that's too focused on the outside.

46:06So you already doing wrong.

46:07You're already doing the fleshly thing by worry and dressing yourself up on the outer appearance, neglecting the inner.

46:14And that's where that real piece is going to come from.

46:17So you can keep searching and keep searching and keep dressing it up and and expensive clothes, jewelry, cologne and

46:24all that stuff.

46:25But until you develop that real relationship within, none of it's going to work.

46:31And yeah.

46:32Plus, you know what?

46:32I got to say this right quick.

46:34He got to start to love himself before he can love anybody else.

46:39I know that's right.

46:41That I know that's right.

46:42And that's deserving of this here.

46:47And that goes around.

46:49Just like I said, when there is no enemy within.

46:53See, the enemy is within when there's no love there.

46:56But when there is no enemy within, then that means that you love yourself and you have blockaded everything.

47:04And guess what?

47:05We're ready to go to war.

47:06Or if anybody decides to come in and try to disrupt this happiness, this love that we got with within.

47:12Yeah, that's so important and so true.

47:15Yeah.

47:16Wow.

47:17This was a good episode.

47:18I definitely do appreciate the insight.

47:19I feel that the conversations that we have here have sort of just elevated overnight.

47:26I don't know what has taken place here, has taken over, but the show has definitely evolved to a new

47:34plateau within the past couple episodes.

47:37Yeah.

47:37Absolutely.

47:38I was telling Michael that, too.

47:41He asked me about your number and he said, can I just text that or can I call it?

47:46I see you can call it, call it, text it, call it, text it, do whatever.

47:52Yeah.

47:52Okay.

47:54Yeah.

47:55So thankful we got some new people joining in the Black Diamond community.

47:59Anybody out there listening, feel free to join in, too.

48:01You can text at any time, 609-200-1098.

48:05You can DM me.

48:07Come on in to these financial wellness sessions.

48:11I have one coming up in June.

48:14Free for everybody out there.

48:15If you like something that you heard, come right on in.

48:19Sign up.

48:20It's a Zoom, private Zoom session outside of the podcast here.

48:25So on that note, what we got going on this week here?

48:30I don't know.

48:32It depends.

48:34This friend of mine, we've done some.

48:39I met him in Austin.

48:41He's done some things down here.

48:44And Saturday night, we may be going where he's playing at.

48:49And he always let me read a couple of poems.

48:52Like I said, that's a maybe.

48:56Sunday, I'm waiting to hear from one of the two places about a reading.

49:03Other than that, you know, I'm constantly promoting my books now.

49:10I'm putting some of the poems from my new book.

49:14I'm posting them on the internet a little bit more.

49:18My new book was released last month.

49:21It's at Amazon, along with the other 11 books at Amazon.com slash authors slash Birdman313.

49:36I'm working on new videos.

49:38I've been trying to post new videos at least two to three times a month now on my YouTube channel.

49:47It's YouTube.com slash author, poet, Birdman31355.

49:53I'm on Instagram, Birdman31355.

49:59And that's why I'm posting my poems, videos.

50:06I'm going to start posting videos on there, too.

50:10I also have videos on Spotify on the Coffee, Wine, and Words platform.

50:17You have to go to Coffee, Wine, and Words, and you can scroll down, and you'll find some of my

50:24videos.

50:26It's Birdman313 on there.

50:32That's what's up.

50:33That's what's up.

50:33Yeah, you got your copy, man.

50:35I just haven't been out to get no envelopes to mail it, but I got you a copy.

50:42Yes, I appreciate that.

50:44And, you know, we coming up, we got the live version coming up soon, but we definitely going to have

50:50some moments here.

50:52Yeah.

50:54You know, I haven't really gotten the only person.

50:57I know a couple people done bought my new book because one guy, I gave one guy, he's in a

51:04wheelchair.

51:04He has MS.

51:06So I gave him one, and, man, he was, you know, telling me how I appreciate it.

51:11And he said, you didn't have to give it to me.

51:13I would have paid for it, but, hey, man, you know, out of my heart, goodness of my heart, you

51:19know, I don't like to take funds from somebody that's on a fixed income, that's disabled.

51:28You know, now you retired, that's different.

51:31But no.

51:33And a friend I went to college with, he posted on Facebook, he said he should receive a copy of

51:43my book sometime this week.

51:45So.

51:46That's what's up.

51:48Yeah.

51:49Congratulations.

51:50Congratulations.

51:51And, yes, everybody stay tuned because we will definitely hear some of these poems very shortly within the next couple

51:59weeks.

52:00So, yeah.

52:02Well, on that note, I want to say thank you so much for joining in.

52:06Your insight is definitely much appreciated and needed here on this platform.

52:12So thank you again.

52:13Appreciate it.

52:15And we will see you when we see you.

52:20Take care.

52:21Okay.

52:21Take care.

52:22Have a good night.

52:23Yeah, you too.

52:24All right.

52:26Mm-hmm.

52:36Well, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.

52:38That was author slash poet birdman 313.

52:41So it took me until the end of the show to figure out exactly what wine this Ziffindale reminds me

52:48of.

52:48When I said that semi-sweet, it's that Dornfelder grape.

52:52So it took to the end of the show.

52:55It actually came to me.

52:56As I'm sitting here sipping on it the whole time, I'm like, dang, what in the heck is that grape

53:03that this reminds me of?

53:04And it's Dornfelder.

53:05Another wonderful, amazing grape, amazing taste.

53:10So if you are looking for something that's not too sweet, not too bold, I highly recommend the Dornfelder.

53:17That is my favorite, one of my favorites, top favorites.

53:21And I always sample that at least once a year.

53:24So this one is a good one.

53:26OZV, Old Vine Ziffindale.

53:29It will give you that reminiscent of the Dornfelder grape.

53:33And it's been a minute since I've actually had a nice glass of wine and I can savor it and

53:40have a decent conversation.

53:42This show here definitely wrapped it up and it was much needed based off of the weeks leading up to

53:48it.

53:49Pay attention to the themes and the titles of the show, because even though we incorporate real conversations in here,

53:57a lot of times that the songs of the day and the themes that I speak about, it affects my

54:06real life as well.

54:09So, bittersweet, this whole segment was amazing.

54:12And I want to say thank you to each and every one of you out there listening.

54:16If there is something that you've learned that sparked an interest about debt-free living, any of the financial topics

54:25and tips and tricks that you've learned here on the show, please head on over to LarenGaines.com.

54:30I offer a free 15-minute consultation for anybody who is interested in learning.

54:35Maybe you don't know.

54:36Maybe you just have some questions.

54:38Maybe you're just scared and you don't know what way to turn left, right.

54:43I've been there before.

54:45Head on over to LarenGaines.com.

54:47But what I will say is this is for the people who have absolutely had enough.

54:51I speak to a lot of people.

54:53And until you have had enough, I don't think that this is a program for you.

54:57If you still want to go out there and spend, if you still want to go out there and flex,

55:01if you're still unsure and you still got that little itch in you,

55:06this may not be for you.

55:07I'm speaking to the people who've had enough.

55:09You're done.

55:10They say, stick a fork in me.

55:12I'm done.

55:12Those are the people that I want to speak to.

55:15People who are ready to rip up the credit cards, cut up the credit cards until you know better.

55:20I'm not saying that that has to be the way all the time.

55:24But until you know better, let's just call it a wrap and say, we're done.

55:28Those are the people that I need to speak to.

55:31LarenGaines.com.

55:32In the meantime, between time, I will see you next time.

55:36Thank you all so much.

55:37Have a good night.

55:39And yeah, cheers.

55:41Thank you for another amazing episode.

55:44Good night.

56:15Good night.

56:47Good night.

56:49Good night.

56:51Good night.

56:53Good night.

57:02Good night.

57:03Good night.

57:04You

She Likes Stability, I'm Leasing Confidence | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 30)

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