Comfortable, Broke, and Still Smiling | DISC 5: Restoration | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 63)
Featuring: Wine Down Wednesday, Mentorship Series
Wednesday | December 17th, 2025
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Song of The Day: "Don't Let It Go To Your Head" by Brand Nubian
Released 1998 | Foundation
Burning Questions: Why does lifestyle inflation quietly destroy financial stability even at higher income levels?
Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions... Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com
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DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.
411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines
DISC 5: Restoration
Track 63: Comfortable, Broke, and Still Smiling
©️ 2025 Black Diamond Consultations Network
LerinGaines.com
Featuring: Wine Down Wednesday, Mentorship Series
Wednesday | December 17th, 2025
Streaming LIVE on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES
https://leringaines.com
https://linktr.ee/leringaines
https://www.facebook.com/leringaines
http://instagram.com/leringaines
https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines
http://twitter.com/leringaines
https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines
https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines
https://dlive.tv/LerinGaines
https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines
Song of The Day: "Don't Let It Go To Your Head" by Brand Nubian
Released 1998 | Foundation
Burning Questions: Why does lifestyle inflation quietly destroy financial stability even at higher income levels?
Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions... Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com
DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, DLIVE, Twitch, DailyMotion)
Sign up for my FREE Monthly Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!
Subscribe now at LerinGaines.com
#Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #DLIVE #Twitch #DailyMotion #ParentalAdvisory #ExplicitContent #LerinGaines #411Podcast #RBTW #ReadingBetweenTheWines #BurningQuestions #BlackDiamondConsultations #VacationWithMe #WhispersofWisdom #DISC5 #Restoration
DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.
411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines
DISC 5: Restoration
Track 63: Comfortable, Broke, and Still Smiling
©️ 2025 Black Diamond Consultations Network
LerinGaines.com
Category
️👩💻️
WebcamTranscript
00:00Thank you for joining us.
02:305, 4, 3, 2, 1.
02:36You're now tuned into the 411 podcast and reading Between the Wines, powered by the Black Diamond Consultations Network.
02:44More than a podcast, this is a sanctuary for self-discovery, healing, and personal growth.
02:50Here, we explore what it means to live debt-free, not just financially, but spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally.
02:58Every episode is part of a journey across our weekly mentorship series, Spiritual Sundays, Mental Mondays, Transformational Tuesdays, Wind-Down Wednesdays, Coaching Sessions Thursdays, and Financial Fridays.
03:12Each day holds space for wisdom, clarity, and real conversation.
03:18So grab your journal, pour your glass, and prepare to go beyond the surface.
03:22Because here, we don't just talk, we transform.
03:26And now, here's your guide through it all, entrepreneur, mentor, and founder of Black Diamond Consultations, Laren Gaines.
03:34Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome on in.
03:39It is Wind-Down Wednesday.
03:41Welcome to Reading Between the Wines.
03:43It's December 17th.
03:46I can't believe it, but the holiday, I guess the ultimate holiday, is next week.
03:54So, well, it's here.
03:57And also, this is the last episode of 2025.
04:03So, welcome in.
04:06Wind-Down Wednesday, Reading Between the Wines, episode 63.
04:10Comfortable, broke, and still smiling.
04:13But before we go ahead and get on into this, I want to say thank you to each and every one of you out there for supporting and rocking and hanging in there with me.
04:27You know, it's been a journey this year.
04:30But I also could not do this without my executive producer, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
04:36Thank you so much for allowing me to come out here and do what I do, connect with so many different people.
04:46And the list just continues to go on and on and on.
04:49So, I want to say thank you so much.
04:51This has been a journey.
04:5363 episodes with all of the bumps, the bruises, and the hiccups, and the mistakes that, you know, we have made throughout 2025.
05:04This has just been amazing.
05:06And I definitely have restored, you know, this has been restoration, the theme for this year.
05:13And I can say that that has been accomplished.
05:15So, thank you all so much for that.
05:18And we're going to get right on into it.
05:22Song of the Day, Don't Let It Go to Your Head by Brand Nubian.
05:26Released in 1998 off of the Foundation album.
05:30So, this song is so important to me.
05:36Because growing up as a kid, there was another song, Don't Let It Go to Your Head by Gene Korn.
05:44I think I'm saying her.
05:46If I'm not, y'all can please correct me.
05:49But the beat is basically identical because they sampled it.
05:56And I remember listening to it as a kid and it hit hard.
06:01It was just it.
06:03And, you know, I was, what, 18, 19 years old when Brand Nubian, you know, did the remix.
06:11And it's the same thing.
06:13And the message is the same.
06:16You know, don't let it go to your head because, like, if I'm loving you, you loving me.
06:22No, excuse me.
06:23Let me back that up.
06:24Don't let it go to your head because if I'm loving you and you fronting a little bit, don't let this thing go to your head because, you know, I may not always be here.
06:34That's the original message.
06:37And then Brand Nubian mixes it up and still letting you know that don't let it go to your head.
06:43So the theme is don't get full of yourself.
06:46Don't let it go to your head because things can change left and right.
06:50What goes up must come down.
06:52And ask me how I know because I've been there before.
06:57I don't know who I'm talking to, but I'm, you know, just speaking from real life experiences.
07:01And they basically says that everybody loves a star when a star is on top.
07:08Don't let it go to your head.
07:10Everybody comes around when a star starts to drop.
07:14Don't let it go to your head.
07:16Strive to help others who help themselves.
07:19Don't let it go to your head.
07:21Serving good health and wealth.
07:24It just makes so much sense.
07:26And I'm not going to keep y'all long here.
07:29And I'm not going to do that.
07:30But, of course, when you're riding high, when the money is flowing well, everything is going good.
07:38Of course, everybody wants to be around and they just want to spend.
07:42And they just want to be because you're it during that moment.
07:49What happens when all that money is gone?
07:52There goes the money.
07:57There goes your bins.
07:59There goes your friends.
08:00And then what happens when you hit a brick or you had some hard times in your life and situations ain't popping off the way that it used to be?
08:11Where are all of those friends at that were there in the beginning?
08:18And here, strive to help others who help themselves.
08:23Strive to help others who help themselves.
08:25Sometimes, when we got all of the extra cash flowing and we have all of the extra, you know, just being extra, as they say nowadays, doing the most.
08:34Sometimes, sometimes we try to pull people up and help people who are not on the same page as us.
08:41And here you are striving to help other people and trying to pull other people up and want to do it for themselves.
08:48All that's going to do is eat away at your profit.
08:53And I love when it says serving good health and wealth because right there.
08:59That's the most important thing.
09:00If you don't have health, you ain't going to have no.
09:04Song of the day.
09:05Don't let it go to your head.
09:071998.
09:08Brand newbie and off of the foundation album.
09:11Listen.
09:14It's ebb and flow.
09:16That's what they say.
09:16Ups and downs.
09:19It's this thing called karma.
09:22What goes around comes around.
09:23So, remember, as you climb up that ladder, as you go up that ladder, you have to make sure that you treat people with respect.
09:30Because what goes up must come down.
09:32And those same people that you might look different towards or feel a certain way towards or act a certain way towards, you might be on a way back down.
09:44Song of the day.
09:47Don't let it go to your head.
09:49Just don't let it go to your head.
09:51So, tonight, I'm not going to sample any wine tonight, but I most certainly am going to give you some wine reviews here tonight.
10:02So, I want to make sure that we keep this wine down Wednesday, what it's going to be.
10:10But I will say that there's going to be a little twist.
10:14And I've been thinking about this for a minute.
10:15There's going to be a little twist when it comes to reading between the wines.
10:19That's always going to be a staple.
10:23If we don't sample wine, I'm going to give you that wine wisdom.
10:25So, you can either wine down with me on a Wednesday, or we can just have Wisdom Wednesday.
10:34But either way, I'm going to give it to you one way or the other.
10:37But this is going to be a dry episode tonight.
10:42So, we'll just call it Wisdom Wednesday with a little wine twist here.
10:47So, for those of you out there, if you are sampling, I want to say cheers and thank you so much for another episode.
10:55We're definitely going to sample some great wine and explore a lot more in 2026.
11:03The reading between the wines is already starting to think about what we're going to share.
11:06So, get ready for that.
11:09That's going to be an annual thing.
11:11But before we begin, before you begin sampling your wine out there,
11:16I want everyone that Black Diamond consultations and reading between the wine encourages responsible drinking at all times.
11:23Please be mindful of what affects your spiritual because they don't call it once for no reason,
11:28and it can affect your mental, financial well-being.
11:32Irresponsible habits can lead to harmful consequences in each of these areas of your life.
11:38Enjoy the exagerative flavors and know your limits because the best memories are made when we sip responsibly.
11:46So, cheers, and thank you so much for joining me on another episode of Reading Between the Wines.
11:53So, I'm going to speak about the Chardonnay grape tonight.
11:57Not one of my favorites, but, you know, it is a staple wine world, so I definitely want to highlight that as well.
12:05But Chardonnay is grown in many countries.
12:09Chardonnay is the world's most popular white variety and arguably the best in terms of quality of wine produced.
12:18It is the main grape in Burgundy, and it plays a crucial role in Champagne.
12:24Let me tell you, I definitely did indulge in plenty of Champagne last week.
12:29The variety generally makes a full-bodied, dry white wine, but its flavors are dramatically, excuse me,
12:39but the flavors vary dramatically from crisp, tense, and tropical, where it's planted, and its winemaking technique used.
12:50The most, the most intense samples come from California, Chile, and Australia.
12:59So, short, again, I said, not one of my favorites for some reason.
13:04It's just not.
13:04I think the first time I sampled it, I got a little out of control with it and almost drank a whole bottle and had a headache the next day.
13:14So, since then, it probably didn't go down as the best, you know, wine for me.
13:23But I still sample it from here to here.
13:25But I'll tell you, when I do see Chardonnay grape today, I'm like, hmm, the last one that I'll probably pick.
13:32But if I have nothing else to drink, then, yeah, but I know a lot of people love Chardonnay.
13:37It comes in so many different flavors.
13:39You get your buttery version, you get your sweet version, and you get your drier version.
13:45But for those of you out there who love Chardonnay, I want to say cheers.
13:49And, again, thank you so much for another episode of Reading Between the Wines.
13:55Now, we're here to the moment.
13:58But I'm going to go ahead and bring in my special guest, Birdman313.
14:25What's going on?
14:26How are you?
14:27Hey, how's it going?
14:30It's going good.
14:31It's going good.
14:32Enjoying this Wednesday.
14:34How about you?
14:36Oh, man, everything is getting better.
14:39I meant, you know, hey, what can I say?
14:42That's good.
14:45Well, I think that should be getting better.
14:49If it's not already better, how's the weather over there?
14:52Well, it's been, like, in the, you know, 40s here.
15:01But it's supposed to go back up to around the 70s.
15:0670s, huh?
15:07By the end of the week.
15:08Yes.
15:09Yes.
15:10Hmm.
15:10Well, a matter of fact, the other day, the other morning, it was like, I think it was 34 here.
15:18That's the lowest it's been.
15:19But by noontime, it had warmed up.
15:22So.
15:24Hmm.
15:25Interesting.
15:26Well, well, well.
15:29You know, I was waiting for this opportunity, right?
15:33I really was waiting for this.
15:36So last week, I ended up going to the Bahamas.
15:42So I enjoyed that.
15:44And it was kind of cold, believe it or not.
15:48Cold.
15:49In the Bahamas.
15:50I didn't, I didn't experience, I didn't expect that.
15:54Yeah.
15:55So I ended up wearing a hoodie most of the time.
15:59It was like 70 something, wind blowing crazy.
16:03I had ports and the tank tops and all of that stuff, the slides and the flip flops, all of that.
16:10And it was freezing most of the time.
16:13So I said, well, ain't this a.
16:15Okay.
16:15And then I come back to Philly to a snowstorm.
16:23Five inches of snow.
16:25Yep.
16:28So, yeah, that's what I got going on here.
16:30All this dirty white snow that people just love so much.
16:34They want a white Christmas and all this other stuff.
16:36But do you like the way it look after the cars done rode over it a thousand times and, you know.
16:44Anyway, I'm not trying to bring anybody down, but that's just what we got going over here in New Jersey.
16:48Yeah.
16:52Yeah.
16:53I don't like it.
16:54I don't like it.
16:55So I don't like this time of year because of the weather.
16:58And I can't wait until it's like 100 degrees again.
17:04Okay.
17:04I can't.
17:06So, yes, this is the last episode of the year.
17:12Oh, yeah.
17:13Interesting.
17:13Yeah.
17:14So you got big plans for the holidays?
17:17Hey, man, just sitting around the house watching TV and, you know, that's about it.
17:23Ain't nothing wrong with that.
17:25Yeah.
17:25I'm clear.
17:26You know, it's a slow progress, you know, with this vertigo thing.
17:30So I'm just taking it day by day, man.
17:34I've been going out a little bit more, you know, and, you know, getting outside a little
17:41bit more than, hey.
17:43And it's funny how it is.
17:45I wake up feeling good and then a couple hours later, I may feel, you know, a little drowsy.
17:51And then all of a sudden I'm feeling good again.
17:56Wow.
17:56That's interesting.
17:58Yeah.
17:59Well, I will say that you did great during the financial wellness lunch and learn.
18:04And I couldn't tell at all.
18:07Everything was looking great.
18:09Oh, well, appreciate that.
18:11Like I said, you know, it's just, it just depends on the day because it's been a gloomy day today.
18:17And for whatever reason, you know, when it's gloomy outside, it seems like, and that's what a lot of people, you know, if it's, you know, when it's gloomy, everything seems down.
18:33But when the sun is shining, you know, it seems, and when it's bright and sunny, you know, people seem more happier.
18:41Well, interesting.
18:46So that's one of the side effects of that.
18:48That's almost like what people experience.
18:51I mean, a fellow coworker, we speak about seasonal depression, like during this time of year.
18:59I'm not a real fan of it.
19:01Right.
19:02Right.
19:03So I guess that could affect it, too.
19:06Huh?
19:06Interesting.
19:07Oh, yeah.
19:08Oh, yeah.
19:08I will tell you, though, after being on the cruise ship.
19:16I guess some of the symptoms that you said is almost like being on a boat, like unstable a little bit sometimes.
19:23Yeah.
19:25I am so thankful that I didn't experience that.
19:30I'm so thankful because I have had some drunken moments sometimes.
19:36Yeah.
19:39Yeah.
19:40Tell me about it.
19:42Going around or waking up the next day and the room is spinning.
19:46Yeah.
19:46And I didn't want to experience that on the boat, but I'm thankful that that didn't happen.
19:51So I got through it my first cruise.
19:53So I would probably think that it's safe to say that that wouldn't happen.
19:59Yeah.
20:00Well, that's good.
20:01That's good.
20:02Glad you enjoyed it.
20:04I did.
20:05I did.
20:05And that part is done because, let me tell you, it was a journey to get up to it.
20:13So, yeah.
20:14Yeah.
20:14Well, I don't plan on taking no cruise.
20:17So, hey, you know, I just listen to what people tell me.
20:20Yeah.
20:23Yeah.
20:23I'm telling you, afterwards, I sit here and think, what was I thinking sometimes?
20:28Like, yeah.
20:29But that's a whole nother story.
20:31Yeah.
20:31All right.
20:34So, let's get right on in to the money hacks.
20:38And we are going to retire this book today.
20:40So, pick a good number.
20:42What number you got anywhere from 1 to 275?
20:46Because this is going to be it for 2025.
20:50273.
20:52273.
20:52Let's see what we got here.
20:59275.
20:59Let's see.
21:01273.
21:04Hmm.
21:07Okay.
21:09Oh, this is interesting.
21:11This is a great one, especially with what we're experiencing now.
21:14Or 2025 has definitely been a lot of this.
21:17For the investors out there.
21:19Don't let the market upset you in September.
21:23Just as you shouldn't get caught up in January stock market highs,
21:26don't be discouraged by September lows.
21:29Don't make any rash moves with your portfolio.
21:32You'll recover some of that value as the market moves into the autumn months.
21:37If you truly have money to spend on investments, September is a good time to buy.
21:42Think of stocks as being on sale during September.
21:45Buy a few shares now and you'll probably find you can afford more than if you decided to buy on a random day, let's say in March.
22:02Investors call this buy.
22:04The extra buys may take you a while to start earning in your portfolio, but at least you have gotten a deal on that.
22:12If you decide just to hold on to them.
22:16I'm really messing that one up.
22:18If you decide to just hold on to what you already got, that's okay too.
22:21So basically, don't get crazy when the stock market goes red.
22:28A lot of people, and I'm glad that you picked up, a lot of people get crazy when the stock market goes into the red and they do something which is called panic sell.
22:40They hit that button and they sell and basically you lost.
22:45So if it goes into the red, consider that you're buying something on sale.
22:53Don't you want something for a discount or would you rather pay the full price?
22:59Because just like I spoke about brand newbie and what goes up must come down in the stock market.
23:06What goes down will eventually go back up.
23:10So in any case.
23:14So what are your thoughts on.
23:17Let's just say the stock market.
23:20What do you think about it?
23:22That's good advice to know.
23:24You know, I don't don't deal with the stock market.
23:28I've been thinking about it, but I just never really talk to anybody seriously about it.
23:36And it's funny thing.
23:37I have a cousin out in California that deals.
23:41He works at Merrill Lynch.
23:42And I never really talked to him about it, which I probably should have had, but I didn't.
23:50I'll tell you that back in, I want to say early 2000s, I always wanted to be the person who I am today.
24:02I just didn't know how I always wanted to invest.
24:06I always wanted to save.
24:07I always wanted to build a legacy, all of that great stuff.
24:10But I just didn't know how.
24:11And I invested in Tasty Cakes.
24:14Do you remember Tasty Cakes?
24:16Yeah.
24:16And it was like 90 cents.
24:20And I put about a thousand dollars into the stock market and it dropped even lower than 90 cents.
24:26And I got scared and I pushed a button and I sold and I lost money.
24:33Maybe about two, three hundred dollars at the time.
24:37But I didn't let it wait.
24:41I didn't let it sit there.
24:42I didn't understand was and a lot of people who don't understand, they will do exactly what I just did.
24:47They put their money in and they watch it like a hawk because that's when you come from a scarcity mindset and you're afraid that you're going to lose something.
24:56And then when something goes wrong, you automatically snatch your money out and then the other side wins.
25:03So, yeah.
25:04Yeah.
25:05So in any case, if you're going to put something in the stock market, don't put it in there if you are afraid you're going to lose it.
25:12And, you know, put it in there.
25:15OK, let it go.
25:17No, just say just put it in there and let it go.
25:19So my biggest thing is.
25:22If you're don't put anything in there that you can't afford to lose, that's it.
25:27That's a great thing.
25:27I'll say that again.
25:28Don't put anything in a stock market that you can't afford because it's a gamble that you play.
25:35But it's a healthy gamble.
25:39Not like we're going to the casino.
25:40This is a healthy gamble and it will help build legacy.
25:43But don't put it in there if you can't afford to lose it.
25:46So, for example, don't put the rent money in there because, you know, you can't afford to lose that.
25:50But if you got a little bit of extra money on May, we're going to go and splurge and do something, you know, crazy with.
25:59OK, put that in there and then let it sit, because guess what?
26:02You can afford to lose that because you've paid all your other bills.
26:04You've done everything you needed to do.
26:06And that's just the extra.
26:07You put that on the side and then you put that into the market and then you can breathe and just let it sit.
26:13Sometimes people put stuff in the market that they shouldn't be and that's why they can't sit straight.
26:17But go ahead.
26:21Now, what were you going to say?
26:23I was going to say I remember I was working with with a co-worker and he he he had just started investing.
26:30He invest in Nike and he was trying to get me to invest in Nike.
26:36This was Nike first, you know, started coming up.
26:40And when he told me about his dad, that scared me away.
26:45His dad, you know, his dad invested and his dad lost big money.
26:51He said his dad committed suicide because of it.
26:55That scared me away from investing in the Nike.
26:59But if I had to invest in it, oh, man, you know.
27:02Oh, yeah, absolutely.
27:04You know, I didn't know no one really talked to me about it.
27:09And at the time he said, hey, man, he said, you don't tell me you don't have fifty dollars.
27:12I said, no, I don't.
27:17No, I don't.
27:18You know, but he would say, OK, man, he said, I understand.
27:22He said, if you don't know nothing about it, don't mess with it.
27:25He said, you know, you can't be scared when to invest.
27:31Absolutely.
27:31And it's so mystical that you say that because now, you know, the way that the world is right now, the market has done a roller coaster thing.
27:39Yeah.
27:40But, you know, that's a sad story, you know, what that gentleman experienced with his father.
27:45And again, I don't know anything about it.
27:47But what that might sound like is when I what I just spoke about earlier.
27:51Where sometimes people put too much in there, they put in what they can't afford.
27:58And then when something goes wrong, things like that happen.
28:01And a lot of big Wall Street people, when the market crashes, you'll hear stories of stuff like that because they have so much invested in there.
28:11And they probably put too much in there and they got a lot riding on.
28:16Yeah.
28:17Yeah.
28:17That's that's a sad story.
28:19But.
28:21Yeah.
28:22But, you know, say history does not repeat itself, but it often rhymes.
28:28So stock market crashes and things like that.
28:33It'll happen again.
28:34But the smart people who understand and know the game when a market does crash, they won't get upset.
28:41They actually will be very happy because that's when they get to go at a discount, if that makes sense.
28:49Yeah.
28:50Yeah.
28:51So.
28:53All right.
28:54We got a good assignment tonight.
28:58Before we get into that, though, I was Frisco, Texas.
29:03Where's that?
29:04That sound familiar to you?
29:06Yeah, that's up there.
29:07I think it's the one I'm thinking of is up there by Dallas.
29:12Yeah.
29:13I don't know anything about Texas, but I did meet somebody on a cruise ship and was speaking to her.
29:21So I got a friend that lives in Texas and I heard all of these crazy stories.
29:27And, you know, I started sharing some stories with her.
29:30Yeah.
29:31And she definitely did agree.
29:33She says, yeah, you go.
29:34When you move in with people, I said, nice to know.
29:37Thank you so much for confirming that.
29:40Because I just wanted to know.
29:42I have never in my life ever experienced anything like this.
29:46But yeah.
29:46Yeah.
29:46Yeah.
29:47So.
29:48Yeah.
29:49That's a whole other story.
29:50I'll tell you about that.
29:51But yeah, that's interesting.
29:53So.
29:53Yeah.
29:54Yeah.
29:54That's the one.
29:54Because when I seen it, I was thinking, I'm like, that's down it.
29:58Then I'm like, no, no, no, no.
30:00That's up there by Dallas.
30:01That's, you know, yeah, up there around Dallas.
30:07Well, we're going to try to help out Mr. Andre from Frisco, Texas.
30:12So here we go.
30:14Dear Laren, I've been sitting with this letter for weeks because on paper, my life looks good.
30:19Great even.
30:20But behind the scenes, I'm barely holding it together.
30:23I make six figures.
30:24I drive a nice car.
30:25I live in a clean, modern apartment.
30:27I take trips.
30:28I show up looking put together.
30:31People think I've made it.
30:33I'm broke.
30:34Not because I don't earn enough, but because I spend like I'm afraid of looking like I don't belong anymore.
30:40Every time my income increased, my lifestyle increased with it.
30:44Bigger apartment, nicer clothes, better restaurants, first class upgrades, just this once, subscriptions I don't even use.
30:53But keep because they make me feel established.
30:57Spiritually, I feel disconnected because I'm chasing an image instead of peace.
31:01Mentally, I'm anxious every time my phone buzzes with a bank notification.
31:06Physically stressed is sitting in my chest, tight shoulders, sleepless nights.
31:11Financially, I'm one emergency away from a disaster.
31:15I don't have an emergency fund.
31:16I have credit card balances I hide from myself, and I haven't invested consistently in over two years.
31:25Here's the part that hurts the most.
31:27I grew up watching my parents struggle, and I promised myself I'd never live like that.
31:32Somewhere along the way, I'm confused.
31:34Oh, sorry, I'll back that up.
31:36Somewhere along the way, I confused doing better with spending more.
31:42Now it's the holidays, and everyone expects me to show up the same way I always do.
31:46Gifts, dinner, trips, generosity.
31:49And I'm exhausted pretending.
31:51How do you step back financially when everyone thinks you're ahead?
31:55How do you downgrade without feeling like you failed?
31:57And how do you rebuild discipline when comfort has made you complacent?
32:02I don't want to end another year like this.
32:05Andre from Frisco, Texas.
32:07I'll take that right to the top.
32:10Dear Laren, I've been sitting with this letter for weeks because on paper, my life looks good.
32:16Great even.
32:16But behind the scenes, I'm barely holding it together.
32:19I make six figures.
32:20I drive a nice car.
32:21I live in a clean, modern apartment.
32:23I take trips.
32:24I show up looking put together, but people think I've made it, but I'm broke.
32:29Not because I don't earn, but because I spend like I'm afraid of looking like I don't belong anymore.
32:35Every time my income increases, my lifestyle increases.
32:38Bigger apartment, nicer clothes, better restaurants, first class upgrades, justice once, subscription use, but keep because they make me feel established.
32:50Spiritually, I feel disconnected because I'm chasing an image instead of peace.
32:54Mentally, I'm anxious every time my phone buzzes with a bank notification.
32:59Physically, stress is sitting in my chest.
33:01Tight shoulders, sleepless nights.
33:03Financially, I'm one emergency away from a disaster.
33:07I don't want emergency funds.
33:09I have credit card balances I hide from myself, and I haven't invested consistently in over two years.
33:15Here's the part that hurts the most.
33:17I grew up watching my parents struggle, and I promised myself I'd never live like that.
33:21Somewhere along the way, I confused doing better with spending more.
33:26Now it's the holidays, and everyone expects me to show up the way I always do.
33:31Gifts, dinners, generosity.
33:34And I'm exhausted, pretending.
33:37How do you step back financially when everyone thinks you're ahead?
33:41How do you downgrade without feeling like you failed?
33:43And how do you rebuild discipline when it has made you complacent?
33:47I don't want to end another year like this.
33:49Andre, what do you think, Birdman?
33:53First of all, my question would be who he's trying to impress.
33:58Because I would throw this out to him.
34:03You know, no, I ain't going to say that.
34:06I'm going to wait for later on.
34:08I'm going to wait for later on.
34:11You know, it just seemed like, you know, at his age, he's trying to live like he's a teenager.
34:21He's trying to, you know, live that life so everybody can look at him and he can say, this is what I'm doing.
34:28But, you know, and there's a lot of people that's out there like that.
34:35And, you know, he's spending money unnecessarily.
34:40And I say that, you know, he's making six figures and he's still not happy.
34:46You know, that's crazy.
34:48And it sounds like he's by himself.
34:51He lived by himself.
34:51So I would ask the man, who are you trying to impress?
34:54Female?
34:55Your parents?
34:58Your friends?
35:00Who?
35:01That would be my questions right there.
35:04And I say, once you figure out that all them you're trying to impress, they don't care, then maybe he can start reeling his finances back in.
35:15You know, he hiding credit cards and, you know, he's scared.
35:19And it just sounds like, okay, I know what you're doing now.
35:24Whenever you do something, you're pulling out the plastic.
35:28Instead of paying with cash or, you know, instead of putting stuff on layaway, he wants to pay right then and there.
35:39Knowing that he's going to have to pay for this.
35:43You know, like, what, he lives in a nice neighborhood.
35:46Okay, that's cool.
35:47You know, and he moved from, you know, apartments.
35:53When he'd get a raise, he'd want nicer clothes, bigger apartment.
35:59Why do you want a bigger apartment if it's just you?
36:01I would, you know, and I told a friend this one time.
36:07I said, dude, man, that money that you're making, spending at a hotel, dude, living, why don't you go buy you a small house?
36:18One or two bedrooms.
36:21And be done with it because my dad always said, when you move, you lose.
36:28And a lot of people don't understand.
36:29And I had, it took me a while to understand that.
36:32Every time you move, you lose.
36:36Because you got to think about, you got to pay for the movers.
36:41You got to pay that deposit.
36:44You know, and I used to couldn't understand that until I moved so much.
36:51And I always like set myself back, you know, and, you know, it's just, it's just, you know, like I said, I looked at this and I'm like, he has to have better restaurants, first class upgrades.
37:09And, you know, why?
37:11Because people, no matter what, no matter you doing all of this, they don't still look at you the same way.
37:23And, you know, another thing, you know, I would tell them, and this is what my mommy said, beauty is only skin deep.
37:32Okay, you're looking good on the outside.
37:34But on the inside, hey, man, he might be the worst person.
37:41You know, his insides is really tore up because he's trying to look good all the time.
37:47And looking good, I mean, you can look good without wearing expensive clothes and jewelry.
37:55You know, that's like I tell my kid, my boys, I said, man, you know, I said, like Mike, he'll say to me,
38:02Hey, Dad, you found another one like that?
38:06I'm like, nah, man, this is, I bought this back in 2005.
38:12I got a jogging suit back there and I wear it in the wintertime because it's warm as hell.
38:18I bought him one and I got me one.
38:21I couldn't get Bird one because Bird was, you know, he was, he was young and they didn't have one his size.
38:26I just happened to find one Michael's size.
38:28I still had mine.
38:31And if you look at your thing, I just went and bought that.
38:36I said, it's how you take care of your clothes.
38:39Absolutely.
38:40You don't have to buy clothes every week just to look good.
38:47You don't have to buy shoes all the time.
38:51Take care of your stuff.
38:52And that was the one thing that was drilled into my mind.
38:55If you take care of things, it will last.
38:59Take care of stuff and it'll take care of you and make you be looking so fly and people be thinking that you spent all of this and all of that.
39:07And I know what you mean.
39:08And I've had people say to me, oh man, where you get this from?
39:14At the store, you know, at the store, you know, and I, you know, I've had it.
39:20I've had it for the longest, but it's because I always take care of my stuff.
39:26I hang my clothes up.
39:27I wash my clothes regular.
39:30I do that.
39:31You know, I mean, if I, if I get a spot, a stain, it don't even have to be a stain.
39:35If I wore a t-shirt today, it's going into dirty clothes the night when I, you know, before I go to bed.
39:44Yeah.
39:45And like I said, this guy here, you know, for him to make six figures and to be feeling like this, it's something that's bothering him on the inside.
39:56Yeah.
39:57And he's thinking, oh, if I look good all the time, look like I got money, people going to think, yeah, until you had said that earlier.
40:09Yeah.
40:09But when you run out, what's going to happen then?
40:13Yeah.
40:14Those same people, your friends, and, you know, like, unless you got an understanding woman, she's not going to, she's not going to take off.
40:24But if you don't have an understanding woman because you've been buying her all these nice things and then something happens, because you never know a sickness or you can get fired from your job.
40:36Exactly.
40:37Anything can happen.
40:38Then what you're going to do?
40:39Huh?
40:39Right.
40:39Yeah.
40:40Anything can happen.
40:40They say when, when life, life happens, right?
40:44Yes.
40:45Yeah.
40:45And then, you know, the fact that he, you know, he, he got to move from, you know, bigger apartments.
40:51Like I said, man, you tossing money out the window.
40:54I bet you any of my money, wherever you move, they call that apartment complex.
40:59They'll sit there and they laughing and they joking and saying, oh yeah, he, he, he got money.
41:04Go ahead and accept him.
41:06Get his, you know, make sure he, he paid that.
41:11A lot of people don't believe that, but apartments do work that way.
41:15Yeah, I, I would say that just like you said, I would agree there's something wrong and I, that's more spiritually, something's wrong on the inside spiritually.
41:25And it could be affecting, uh, him mentally too.
41:29There's could be a combination of spiritual and mental issues that are going on here.
41:33And that's trickling and showing up in a physical world.
41:38And when it comes to all of the money that you make, just like I spoke about earlier with the brand new being, you got to be very careful because that make today ain't going to be the same money that you have tomorrow.
41:49So like I tell most people that I speak with and including my children as well, they're not even children, they're young adults.
42:00Make as much more can now black out, do whatever you could do, work all of the overtime, do whatever you need to do while you were young and you were healthy, because that may not always be the case in the future.
42:12So you have to take care of the younger version of you has to take care of the older version of you that you don't even know exists at this moment.
42:22You have no idea what the world is going to throw at you and you have no idea what your health is going to be like.
42:27You have no idea what it's going to be.
42:29So do what you need to do now, save your money, invest properly so that you can go ahead and relax and live your life when you get older with stress and anxiety and all of these other things.
42:42So, yeah, mister, the way jobs are, you know, companies are folding up now.
42:49I tell them, yeah, man, I tell my kids, it don't take Einstein to understand this, man.
42:54Put put one and one together.
42:56You get to you.
42:58You got you.
42:59That's the things you have to do, man.
43:01You you got to take care of right now because tomorrow is in promise.
43:08All right.
43:09All right.
43:10Yeah, that's.
43:12Yeah, this is an interesting thing.
43:16Letter and Mr.
43:18Andre, I say you just don't have to come clean with yourself.
43:22Number one, with your family, with everybody else.
43:24And how do you expect to downgrade and worry about all these other people?
43:30The more that you continuously worry about other people, the more you're going to stay stuck.
43:35And you better get right with yourself and be honest with them today rather than it come crashing down.
43:42Because if you lose that job today or tomorrow, everything right.
43:47So you might as well start to look at your finances and look at things and things up, clean these balances up, downgrade your life.
43:54Less is more.
43:56Less is more.
43:58You got to do a whole bunch of stuff here going on.
44:02A whole bunch of stuff.
44:04And Andre is not the only one out there because I'm sure that there are a lot of people who live like this.
44:09This is living beyond your means.
44:12And, you know, it comes from directions.
44:15But if this sounds something similar, only listen.
44:19And I can only give you from real life experience because I've been here before.
44:23Start to back.
44:24In 2020, I was just Andre in 2020.
44:28And when this pandemic happened and they used to be two different types of people, there were going to be people who changed their lives.
44:34And they're going to do something different.
44:36And they're going to come out better on the other side.
44:38Or there are people that are just going to be stuck.
44:40And I didn't want to be someone who was stuck.
44:42And so I knew that I had my finances out 2020 and prior.
44:46So I just started to start paying some things up and cleaning some things up.
44:50So that's the only way to take a long, hard look in the mirror.
44:54And, yeah, you got to clean some things up.
44:57And ain't nobody going to be able to do it and change it except for you.
45:01Yes, exactly.
45:03And it's nothing to be ashamed of if you tell, you know, whatever you're doing, like spending your money on just saying,
45:12Hey, I can't do that this year.
45:15And you don't even have to get no explanation.
45:17Just saying, you know, hey, you know, as far as giving gifts out, I'm cutting back.
45:24And, you know, and if you want to give an explanation, just say, I'm cutting back for me.
45:32You know, like I said, you know, I mean, I don't know why, like I said, but that's how a lot of the young people, well, old people too.
45:44They get a little money and it goes to their head and they, oh, I'm out here spending.
45:51I'm out here doing this.
45:52But, hey, it runs out and it's going to run out.
45:58Right.
45:58And like I said, any freak, you know, you have to be an accident.
46:02But anything, like I always say, anything can happen at any time.
46:07Right.
46:08It's life.
46:09Yeah.
46:12Well, I can't believe that it's getting ready to.
46:17The hour has been here already.
46:18That's something else.
46:19It's almost here.
46:20So I don't want to dismiss and not give you your spot.
46:26So please let everybody know where you're from, where they can get a hold of you at, anything you have new coming up.
46:35Great stuff.
46:36Yeah, I'm here in Houston, Texas.
46:39You can follow me on Amazon dot dot com slash author slash Birdman three one three.
46:49I have 10 poetry books there.
46:50You can also follow me on Instagram at, you know, Birdman three one three five five.
46:57You can go to my YouTube channel, which is YouTube dot com slash author poet Birdman three one three five five.
47:08And I've cut my I cut a lot of videos out.
47:12I'm cleaning up my YouTube channel.
47:14I'm cutting down from all the videos I have because some of them been up there for five, six years and people, you know, one is listening to them.
47:23So it's just taking up space.
47:25You can also find my poems and videos on Spotify at coffee, wine and words platform.
47:35So there you go.
47:38Awesome.
47:39Awesome.
47:40Yeah.
47:40I don't have any.
47:41I don't.
47:42Only thing I have.
47:43I'm debating on it is I'm thinking by entering this.
47:48It's a contest for authors to see you send your books in and, you know, see what happens.
47:59I'm really thinking about doing that.
48:01But I have until should I think it's March to get it in.
48:08So I got plenty of time to think about it.
48:11And I'm thinking about that.
48:13That's the only thing right now I'm thinking about.
48:16I mean, as far as another book come out.
48:20I already have that.
48:21Only thing I have to work on as far as my other book is my index and a cover.
48:27I got everything.
48:28I got everything.
48:29I got all the poems.
48:32And matter of fact, I got two manuscripts.
48:36I just got to figure out which one.
48:39Which one I'm going to use first.
48:42Well, that's good.
48:44Yeah.
48:45Well, you've been working hard.
48:47You got all of that in your tool bag.
48:51That's good.
48:51That's good.
48:52Oh, yeah.
48:53Oh, yeah.
48:53And plus, you can find me on here every Wednesday until until Larry said, well, it's time to go.
49:01No, no, no, no, no.
49:02You know, I'm I'm so like happy right now because looking at the monitor and knock on wood, I'm not going to knock on anything because it'll echo.
49:13But this has been no disruptions, no disruptions.
49:18I think I can't finally figured it out.
49:20Well, that's good.
49:22Because let me tell you, that's one thing that would really that's behind the scenes stuff.
49:27I'll be having a.
49:29A fit with when it does clear skips and all this stuff.
49:33I've had a fair share of.
49:36Yeah.
49:36Like, what the hell is going on here?
49:38But I think I figured it out finally.
49:40Yeah.
49:41Yeah.
49:41My son, he did.
49:42Hey, dad.
49:43I said, hey, you know, I said, I told him what the deal was.
49:45And he was like, OK.
49:46He said, I'm just calling to check.
49:48I'm like, well, that's good, man.
49:50Yeah.
49:50Yeah.
49:51Yeah.
49:51No, we rolling.
49:52And I'm, you know, the next couple of weeks, I'm going to start to write some new stuff for 2026 and get prepared for that.
50:00So, yeah, that's good.
50:03Yeah.
50:03And, you know, I've had some good feedback, too.
50:06I've had several people to ask me about this and I told them, hey, you know, just come on, check it out and see what we're talking about.
50:17So hopefully, you know, hopefully they'll show up.
50:23Yeah.
50:23We I'm telling you, 2026, this is going to take it right to the top.
50:28This is this is going to be something big.
50:31A lot of great things coming.
50:34So, well, the burning question that I have for tonight, and I know we got to get out of here.
50:41We got like two minutes, if that that we can spend on this burning questions before we get.
50:46Why does lifestyle inflation quietly destroy financial stability, even at higher income levels?
50:53And I'm going to chime in a little bit because I know we touch base speaking of Andre's situation here.
50:59But basically, this is for everybody.
51:03It's the type of money you make.
51:04And I tell people this all the time.
51:06The person who works at Burger King or McDonald's, if they do the right thing with their money, they'll become a millionaire.
51:13If they start at 18 years old working at McDonald's or any fast food restaurant and they do the right thing with their money, by the time they turn.
51:20If they're ready to retire, they'll be a millionaire.
51:25So if someone making, you know, minimum wage can become a millionaire, just have six figures.
51:33If you don't do the right thing with your money, you're not saving it.
51:36You're not investing it.
51:37You're not putting it where it needs to be.
51:39So what do you think is going to happen?
51:43So that's my sum up, you know, quick books when it comes to this burning question here, because it's basically asking.
51:56How does inflation quietly destroy your financial stability, even when you make a lot of money?
52:03If you ain't doing the right thing with your money, anything can quietly take away from you.
52:08So you have any insights on this real quick before we get out of here?
52:12Yeah, I always tell people, you know what?
52:15Fast and easy money is not the best money.
52:19Take your time and stop trying to impress other people.
52:25Just take care of yourself and do what you can.
52:28And if a person don't want to be around you because you can't do nothing for them, let it be.
52:34Exactly.
52:37All right.
52:38Well, thank you so much for that.
52:40And we're going to get out of here and I will talk to you in 2020.
52:47I'll talk to you before then, of course.
52:48But yeah, I'll see you in 2026.
52:53Okay.
52:54You take care.
52:55All right.
52:56You have a good night.
52:57Take care now.
52:58You do the same.
52:59Yeah.
52:59All right.
53:05Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.
53:07That bird man 313.
53:08And I want to say thank you all so much for joining in.
53:12And we definitely are going to get out of here at this moment.
53:16It's that time.
53:18If you want to find out more information, please head on over to Laren Gaines dot com.
53:24Please sign up for that free 15 minute consultation.
53:26If you want to know anything about debt free living, I focus on debt free living from the spiritual, mental, physical and.
53:33And what do we have?
53:37I got a lot of different things going on.
53:39I know that I have a debt free living intensive coaching session on January 11th, 2026.
53:49I have two slots available.
53:50This is a private strategy, financial strategy session.
53:54If you'd like more information on that and you'd like a seat.
53:58And my financial strategy session, please go ahead and DM me.
54:03You can text me 609-2002.
54:06You may also email me as well.
54:08Info at Laren Gaines dot com.
54:11A lot of great things coming up in 2026.
54:13Please stay tuned as I go ahead and make announcements for this six for the next.
54:23And stuff, the form on podcast and reading between the wines.
54:27And please enjoy your holiday season.
54:30We'll be right back at it again in a couple weeks.
54:35And like I said, I could not do any of this without you.
54:38Thank you so much to Arthur Birdman313 for rocking with me all throughout 2025.
54:44Thank you to all of the special guests who joined.
54:49So many of you I can't even name.
54:51And I don't want to name because if I forget somebody, somebody might get mad at me.
54:56But yes, this has been epic.
54:59I've restored so much.
55:02And we have, you know, the 411 podcast reading between the wines.
55:06And yeah, I want to say thank you so much.
55:08And on that note, I will see you when I see you have a good one.
55:13Thank you so much.
55:15Take care now.
55:16Five, four, three, two, one.
55:22And that's a wrap on today's episode of the 411 podcast and reading between the wines.
55:27Where growth is always on the menu.
55:29And every pour reveals a little more truth.
55:32The conversation doesn't end here.
55:34Have something to say?
55:36Want to weigh in on tonight's burning questions?
55:39Text us anytime at the official 411 podcast and reading between the wines hotline at 609-200-1098.
55:49Stay plugged in across all social media platforms at Laring Gains.
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56:02Prefer to listen on the go?
56:03The audio version is streaming on most major podcast outlets.
56:08Until we meet again, take what you've learned, sip slow, speak truth, and remember, transformation starts within.
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