- 2 days ago
McHale's crew must rescue a Sultan and his 3 daughters. One princess is taken for a romantic boat ride, and Parker must become her stand-in.
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00:00To be continued...
00:30Pardon, sir, but you sent for me.
00:31I know that. Why else would you be in here?
00:34Now, I've just received a call from the Admiral.
00:37We are to expect a visit from a very important person.
00:40He is no less than the Sultan of Marami.
00:44Huh?
00:45The Nips are threatening to attack his island,
00:47so one of our planes is bringing him out,
00:49along with his three daughters.
00:51Oh, a Sultan and three princesses, sir?
00:53Oh, what a feather in our cap here at Taratuba, sir.
00:57Our cap?
00:58Oh, no, sir, excuse me.
01:00Your cap, sir. Yours, sir.
01:02Now, the Admiral wants to be sure
01:03that we go all out to make an impression.
01:05So I want you to make certain
01:07that everything is 100% in order.
01:10And I repeat, 100%.
01:11Hope you had a good swim, girls.
01:22We'll see you Sunday.
01:23Well, I'm all a nerve.
01:37How can I make an impression on the Sultan with McHale
01:40and his riffraff running around loose?
01:43I want you to order the 73 boat out on a recon mission
01:46to Aku Aku.
01:49But, sir, there are no nips on Aku Aku.
01:51That's just a deserted strip that...
01:53Oh, I get it, sir.
01:54You are clever, sir.
01:55Yes, what'd you expect?
01:56I didn't get my commission for playing tiddlywinks.
02:00How did you get it, sir?
02:03Well, my wife has this cousin in the Pentagon, see,
02:06so I...
02:06Get out of here, all right, all right.
02:08¶¶
02:38Sir, I'm sorry, sir. Forgive me.
02:59I'm terribly sorry, sir.
03:01If I didn't need you to help me welcome a sultans to help me, I'd run you through.
03:05Thank you, sir. You are very kind to me, sir.
03:07But everything is in order for His Highness's arrival, sir.
03:10The Honor Guard is ready.
03:15Captain Binghamton here.
03:17Oh, hello, Admiral.
03:19Everything is ready for the sultans' arrival, Admiral.
03:24This plane had engine trouble. It was forced on where?
03:27Yeah, near the island of Samora.
03:34Oh, well, I don't have any boats in that area, Admiral.
03:39Oh, sir, the 73 boat is right near there. Remember, you sent them to Aku Aku.
03:43Oh, you heard him.
03:47Yes, yes, he's a very fine, very fine boy.
03:50He's very alert, Admiral.
03:52You want the McHale and the 73 crew to go down and pick them?
04:00Oh, Admiral, Admiral, I just had a thought, sir.
04:02I have a very fine boat, almost in the same vicinity, Admiral, and it's just been painted.
04:07I know that...
04:09McHale and the 73 crew.
04:11What's the matter with you?
04:15Sir, please, one more chance, sir, one more chance.
04:22Boy, what a break.
04:23Yeah, instead of a dull recon, we get a chance to rescue a sultan and his harem, Terry.
04:27His daughter scares the dame.
04:30Shh, knock it off.
04:32All right, spread out, boys, spread out.
04:35Hold it, hold it.
04:39Hi, guys.
04:40I'm sure glad it's you instead of the nips.
04:43Your Highness, it's all right.
04:45Our rescue party's arrived.
04:49Hey, boy, a real life sultan.
04:51What are we supposed to do, bow?
04:53Which way's Mecca?
04:57Greetings, Your Highness, sir.
04:58Greetings.
05:00My name is Lieutenant Commander Quinton McHale, sir, and my crew and I are here to serve you.
05:05I am Karim.
05:07These men here with you, are they to be trusted to transport?
05:10A priceless cargo.
05:12Oh, absolutely, sir.
05:13Oh, yes, sir.
05:14You are now under the protection of the United States Navy, sir.
05:17Yes, sir.
05:17Forgive my doubts, but I travel with my most valuable possessions.
05:21Oh.
05:22Wow, wow, wow, wow.
05:31Virgil.
05:32I heard that, young man.
05:35I forgive you for your ignorance of the customs of my country.
05:38Were you in Mirani?
05:43Like a chicken.
05:44Oh, well, now, wait a minute.
05:47He didn't mean any harm.
05:48You see, in our country, that's sort of like a ceremonial greeting.
05:51Wah-wee-wah-wah-wah.
05:54Like a chicken.
05:56The next man who dares to debase the dignity of the princesses will answer to me.
06:03And me.
06:05All right, you guys, go get the luggage.
06:08Right this way, your highness.
06:09Ladies.
06:12Highness, your lady ships.
06:14Ow.
06:16Boy, I think we, uh...
06:18Real silk.
06:20No debasing.
06:21Just bowing, sir.
06:22Oh, boy, you're on the tight ship.
06:38Rather an interesting craft, Commander.
06:40If my country had a navy, I would certainly include a fleet of these.
06:44The important thing is to maintain control of the boat at all times.
06:48See what the wind...
06:49Anson Parker, how dare you?
06:56Yeah.
06:56Oh, no, no, no hands.
06:58I wouldn't touch it, hon.
06:58No debasing.
06:59No, sir, no, sir.
07:00It wasn't really his fault, your highness.
07:01You see, the seas are a bit rough.
07:03Oh, that is right, father.
07:04Hush, daughter.
07:05Where is the princess Siri?
07:07Siri, come here.
07:11Yes, father.
07:11If your highness is so interested in PT boats, perhaps you'd like to handle this one, sir.
07:23You know, drive it.
07:25Drive?
07:25Yes, sir.
07:27Here, the wheel, sir.
07:29Just steer.
07:30Yes, sir, right here.
07:31And it's quite relaxing and it's lots of fun.
07:35May I?
07:36Yes.
07:36That does sound like a most amusing divertisement.
07:39Be my guest.
07:40There you are, sir.
07:46No.
07:55Greetings, O exalted ruler of Mariani, O noble ally and friend.
08:00Allow me to introduce myself, sir.
08:01I am at your service.
08:02I am Captain Wallace B. Binghamton.
08:06I trust your highness had a safe voyage.
08:09Yes, and a pleasant one, thanks to your commander, McHale.
08:12He is a very efficient officer.
08:14Yes, isn't he?
08:15We're very proud of him.
08:17Oh, thank you, sir.
08:19And now, your highness, if you and your daughters will accompany me, I'll be glad to show you
08:23your quarters.
08:23I'm sure you're going to find them very satisfactory.
08:26Present rug!
08:27Hey, Skip, how'd you wrangle that invitation?
08:41Ah, it's a command performance.
08:43The sultan was so thrilled with the boat ride that he insisted that Binghamton invite me
08:47to the big dinner.
08:48You'd better bring along a food taster.
08:51Hey, Skip, if you get a peek at the girls, tell us what they look like, huh?
08:54Never mind the girls.
08:57You guys are restricted to the base.
08:58Chuck, you're in charge.
09:00Right, Skip.
09:00I'll keep an eye on them.
09:03Men, starting now.
09:06Have a good time, Skip.
09:08Bye.
09:09Joy.
09:10Three beautiful dames on Tara Tuber, and we're stuck here.
09:13Yeah, we've got to get out of this.
09:14You guys think you've got a problem.
09:16What about me?
09:17I've got a date with one of those princesses in 15 minutes.
09:19How did you get it?
09:20Ah.
09:21Well, I made a little date on the boat.
09:23Her name is Siri.
09:24In Marani, that means happiness.
09:26Boy, you work faster than bicarbonate.
09:29How about spreading a little bit of happiness around with your buddies?
09:31There's two more Marani mamas out there.
09:33Yeah.
09:34Tell you what I'll do, Sonny.
09:35You guys help me swipe to 73 so I can keep my date with Siri, and I'll see what I can do.
09:39Swipe to 73?
09:41I promise Siri a boat ride.
09:42Look, it'll be a short one, but I'll need your help.
09:44Now, if we can keep Mr. Parker...
09:47Shh.
09:49Okay, men.
09:50Let's break out the cards.
09:51While I'm in command, we're only playing for match stakes.
09:54Let's not waste our time playing cards, Mr. Parker.
09:57As long as we're stuck here, and let's put our time to something constructive and educational.
10:02Well, sir, we'd all be very grateful if you'd refresh our battle-weary minds on the nomenclature of the .50 caliber machine gun.
10:11Boy, I'm really proud of you guys.
10:13That's real Navy.
10:14As a matter of fact, sir, we'd appreciate it if you'd, uh, demonstrate to us how to take it apart blindfolded.
10:20Oh, he can't do that.
10:21You can't do it.
10:21I've been 65-y.
10:23You can't do it anybody.
10:23Can't solve.
10:24Can't solve.
10:24I mean, I don't want to brag, but in OCS, I majored in blindfolded.
10:28We used to do a lot of things blindfolded.
10:30Say another word.
10:35Mr. Frank, you're right behind the table.
10:38Well, since you guys are so anxious to get underway, we might as well start right in.
10:47Now, men, this is a .50 caliber machine gun.
10:51Now, in dismantling this baby, first of all, we disengage grip control, A and B, from firing mechanism C.
11:03Boy, that's a dangerous part.
11:08Well, maybe I better start with the trigger mechanism.
11:12Men, this is a trigger.
11:17It's a...
11:18No?
11:19It's a coffee cup.
11:21A trigger on a coffee cup.
11:25Well...
11:26Who was that?
11:27Uh, just passing boat.
11:29Uh, you're doing great, Mr. Parker.
11:30Just great.
11:32Thanks, Gruber.
11:33Uh, why don't we start with the barrel?
11:52Princess Siri.
11:56Hi.
11:57I'm here.
11:59Hey, you are Siri, aren't you?
12:01Hello, Rachel.
12:03Oh, you're Siri, all right.
12:04Come on, girl.
12:15Sure, to bring Sister back in time for dinner.
12:18If Father finds out about this...
12:19I know.
12:22But it's worth it.
12:26Well, I'm indeed flattered, Your Highness, that you and your charming daughters have accepted
12:31my invitation to dinner.
12:33It is our pleasure.
12:34Yes.
12:35Uh, your slightest wish is my command, Your Highness.
12:38Is there anything else I can do for Your Highness's pleasure?
12:42Now that you mention it, I did particularly enjoy steering Commander McHale's boat.
12:47Oh, the boat, you like...
12:49Oh, well, maybe you'd like to take another ride before dinner.
12:51You do me honor.
12:53Oh, you heard it.
12:54What are you standing there for, McHale?
12:55Get the boat, the boat.
12:56Oh, the boat.
12:56No, it's over at the island, if you'll excuse me, sir.
13:00Go ahead and get the boat.
13:01Yes, I do.
13:02Last but not least, we lock the firing pin to the trigger mechanism.
13:08That's it.
13:09I knew you were going to do it.
13:10Fantastic.
13:11Looks like made in Japan.
13:12Well, the secret to efficiency is practice.
13:14That's it.
13:15Don't take it off yet, sir.
13:16We forgot to time you.
13:17Now, once more for the record.
13:19I believe that's a good idea.
13:20Well, this time I'm going to make it tougher.
13:22I'll do it backwards.
13:23Oh, uh, get that, will you, Willie?
13:25Tell her whatever it is, I'm on official business.
13:28Commander McHale's group.
13:29Oh, it's you, Skip.
13:31Yeah, Mr. Parker, he's right here.
13:33Why don't you go and tell him that for?
13:35Oh, is it the Skip?
13:36I'll talk to him.
13:37If he finds out the boat's going, we're dead.
13:40Hey, Mr. Parker, here.
13:41No need to take that blindfold off, sir.
13:43We'll just stop the clock and continue after you hang up the phone call.
13:45Here, I'll lead you right over to the phone.
13:47All right.
13:52The poor leader.
13:56Uh, Skip.
13:57Answered Parker.
13:57Everything's under control.
13:58Ah, good.
14:00Now, hear this.
14:01Uh, the captain wants a 73 over here at main side right away.
14:04Uh, the sultan wants to do some more steering before, uh, dinner.
14:08Steer it again?
14:09Oh, how do you like that?
14:10The sultan wants to steer the boat again.
14:12Last time, he nearly wrecked it.
14:14Huh?
14:14Uh, uh, Mr. Parker, I'm afraid the sultan can't have the boat.
14:17It's not here.
14:19Hey, good.
14:20Uh, Skip, Gruber came up with a great idea.
14:22The sultan can't steer the boat.
14:24It's not here.
14:25It's not there.
14:26Uh, uh, oh, wonderful, wonderful.
14:29Then it's all settled.
14:31Yes.
14:35Put Gruber on the phone right away.
14:38Uh, Gruber.
14:39Hmm.
14:41Uh, here, here, Skip.
14:42Talk, Gruber, and I want the facts.
14:44Well, uh, Virgil took the boat out for, uh, for a little spin with Princess Ciri and...
14:50What?
14:51Oh!
14:52Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, yes.
14:56Yes.
14:57Ha, ha, ha.
14:58Look, I'll try to stall as long as I can.
15:00But you get that boat over here and I want that princess back in her quarters on the double or else.
15:06Ha, ha, ha.
15:07Ha, ha, ha.
15:09Oh, there's a crew for you, sir.
15:11Those boys are really on the ball.
15:12Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
15:15Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
15:15Well, shall we get going to the doctor?
15:17Yes, I'm looking forward to getting back behind the wheel.
15:20Yes, that will be fun, sir.
15:21And, sir, uh, uh, speaking of fun, I wonder if you'd mind taking a moment to explain this, uh, this gadget, sir.
15:28I've been watching you smoke it.
15:30Is it difficult?
15:31Oh, not at all, Commander.
15:32It has an extra stem.
15:34Would you care to try it?
15:36Try it?
15:36Oh, yes, yes, I'd love to.
15:39I'm sure Captain Binghamton would, too, wouldn't you, Captain?
15:41Yeah, yeah, yes, love it, love it.
15:44Well, you, you first, sir.
15:45Huh?
15:45Protocol.
15:48Now, it's very simple, Captain.
15:50Yeah.
15:51All you do is inhale.
16:00Smooth.
16:03Gales Island calling the 73.
16:05Gales Island calling the 73.
16:07Come in.
16:08Please.
16:09This is the 73.
16:13Look, you guys, Princess Siri and I are stuck out here in the middle of nowhere.
16:17We're just starting back, and the engine's conked out.
16:19Yeah, well, look, Virg, forget about the engines.
16:21We're...
16:22Conked out!
16:23Oy vey.
16:25Siri says tell us sisters, and they'll cover for us.
16:28If the Sultan finds out, we're dead.
16:29So you better get going, Mr. Parker.
16:30On the double.
16:31Right.
16:32Yes, sir.
16:33Right.
16:34Hey, what am I saluting for?
16:35I'm in command here.
16:37Virgil, you're under arrest.
16:38Now, look, Tinker, you tell them how to start those engines.
16:41I'm going to go over and talk to the sisters and see if I can't stall them.
16:44Ensign Parker, over and out.
16:45Get your hands off the officers.
17:01Oh, you're doing fine, Captain.
17:03Just fine.
17:04Yes.
17:05How do you like it so far?
17:06I'm enjoying it immensely.
17:10I wouldn't want you to miss out on your boat trip.
17:13It is my pleasure to make this sacrifice for you.
17:16I can always take my ride after dinner.
17:18Oh, that's a wonderful idea, Your Highness.
17:20Yes, let's make it after dinner, and then you can just have much more time steering the boat.
17:26Let's eat early.
17:27We can eat right now, Your Highness.
17:29I'll go get your daughters for you.
17:30Agree?
17:31Daughters?
17:32It's a little too early for dinner, isn't it?
17:34Curly said, let's eat.
17:36I'll go and get the princesses.
17:38My honor guard is awaiting my orders.
17:40Well, why don't I go, Captain?
17:41I'll get the princesses, and then I'll...
17:43Hell, I'll get them.
17:45They're royal princesses.
17:46They deserve the best.
17:47That's protocol, too.
17:48Princesses, uh, Sultanas, Your Honors.
18:07Your sister sent me.
18:12Thank you very much.
18:13I'm here.
18:14Well, I'll pardon us a most impersonal intrusion by this misery.
18:24By this most miserable person.
18:27What I'm trying to say is that I'm serious to report that your sister Saria is in a situation.
18:32Something has happened to her serious.
18:34Please, you know what the Sultan said.
18:36No hands.
18:36Don't forget we are princesses.
18:38Tell us, please, what has happened to our sister?
18:40Oh, well, she's not going to be here in time for dinner.
18:43And the engine's conked out.
18:45Oh, no.
18:45Father will be furious.
18:47I know.
18:48Like a chicken.
18:51Your Highnesses, it's Captain Binghamton.
18:54No.
18:55I'm here with your honor guard.
18:57It's time for dinner.
18:58Oh, boy.
18:59Sorry, Captain.
19:01But we are still dressing.
19:03Yes.
19:03Please come back later.
19:06Well, if you don't mind, I'll just wait here.
19:09What can we do?
19:10If only the two of us come to dinner, Siri will be in terrible trouble.
19:15I got an idea.
19:16I got an idea.
19:18Better use yours.
19:19Mine never work.
19:20Well, what is your idea?
19:22Oh, there you go.
19:23Hey, hut.
19:25Ah, greetings, Your Highnesses.
19:27This is a distinct pleasure to be able to escort you ladies.
19:32All right, page.
19:34Hut.
19:35Hut.
19:35Hut.
19:36Hut.
19:36Hut.
19:36Hut.
19:36Hut.
19:36Hut.
19:37Hut.
19:37Hut.
19:38Hut.
19:39Hut.
19:40Hut.
19:40Oh, be careful, my dear.
19:42I mean, Your Highnesses.
19:44Um, incidentally, uh, I'm Captain Wally Binghamton.
19:51Centric.
19:52What is keeping my daughters, Commander?
19:55I hope there is nothing wrong.
19:56Oh, I'm sure there isn't, sir.
19:58No, no, sir.
19:59But if you'll excuse me, maybe I'd better go see.
20:02Excuse me, sir.
20:07Oh, Captain, if you'll just let me explain.
20:08Ah, one side, McNeil.
20:09On your feet, gentlemen.
20:10The Princesses.
20:20Gentlemen, the United States Navy has made every arrangement for our comfort.
20:27Now it is my turn to make an arrangement for your delight.
20:31My daughters will dance for you.
20:35Oh, well, that won't be necessary, sir.
20:37You don't have to pay us back.
20:38We were glad to help.
20:40You do not wish to see my daughters dance?
20:42Well, do you think they ought to dance on an empty stomach?
20:46Mind your manners, McHale.
20:47Don't pay any attention to him, Your Highness.
20:49He has these spells every now and then.
20:51It's sort of, uh, battle fatigue.
20:53I, for one, would love to see your daughters dance.
20:56Am I right, gentlemen?
20:57You do me great honor.
21:09Believe me, Captain, you better serve dinner first.
21:12Shut up.
21:13This is going to be a rare treat, Sultan.
21:15I can hardly wait to see this.
21:19Neither can I.
21:20And, uh, try some of these, Sultan.
21:43They're delicious.
21:44Oh, they're lovely dancers.
22:03Lovely.
22:04You are most kind, Captain.
22:05Don't you be more careful, Commander?
22:29I'm sorry, sir.
22:30I'm sorry.
22:31Very sorry.
22:31Oh, you were just fine, ladies.
22:33Just fine.
22:34Weren't they great gentlemen?
22:35Just a moment.
22:36My daughters aren't finished yet.
22:38I have news for you, sir.
22:39Those are not all your daughters.
22:41Goodbye, girls.
22:42It's time to change.
22:43Here we go.
22:44Stop them, sir.
22:45Help.
22:46Bye.
22:54Captain, what is the meaning of this outrage?
22:56Sir, one of these girls is an imposter.
22:59Aha!
23:00Captain, how dare you?
23:01Oh, I'm sorry.
23:02This isn't the one.
23:03This must be the one, sir.
23:04Aha!
23:05Stop this madness.
23:08The Admiral will hear of this.
23:10But, but, yes, yes, stop it, Captain.
23:11You can't do this.
23:12Oh, I can't, can I?
23:13You must be the one, you phony Balinese bunny.
23:16You're under arrest.
23:18Arrest?
23:20Your Highness, I'm terribly sorry.
23:22Captain.
23:22I saw, I thought I...
23:23Your unpardonable behavior will be reported to the State Department.
23:27Oh, sir, he didn't mean it.
23:29I didn't mean it, Your Highness.
23:30You see, I thought I saw one of my stupid nitwit ensigns, Your Highness.
23:33I mean, your daughter looked just like him.
23:34I mean, you know, that's what I mean, sir.
23:36I, but...
23:36Enough.
23:38Come, daughters.
23:39I'm with Radio Washington.
23:41I don't know.
23:41Mercy.
23:41Mercy, Your Highness.
23:42Mercy.
23:43Stupid infidel.
23:45I shouldn't have looked, sir.
23:52Why me?
23:53Why is it always me?
24:01Of all the dumb, dim-witted things I've ever seen in my life.
24:05Skip, let me explain.
24:06I don't want to hear another word out of you eight balls.
24:08Now, go on, get going before Captain Binghamton catches you here and...
24:11Too late, Skip.
24:12Here he comes.
24:13Oh, Princess Wake, your father forgot his sword.
24:17Oh, am I glad that I found you, Princess.
24:19I don't know what your name is, but I hope you'll forgive my stupidity.
24:22Oh, no, no, no, no, now, Captain, this is embarrassing.
24:24No, no, no, get away, McHale.
24:26Princess, whatever your name is, would you ask your father to forgive...
24:30Arthur!
24:31Oh, of course.
24:32Well, would it help if I forgive you?
24:33Oh, I gotta give him...
24:34Oh, no, no, no, Captain, no!
24:37No, no, no, no, no, no, Captain!
24:40Captain, no, no, Captain!
24:42Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
25:12¶¶
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