- 2 days ago
The Clampetts find that the comforts of the mansion do not always compare to the comforts of their former mountain shack. Jethro and Elly get something fun.
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FunTranscript
00:00Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed.
00:05And then one day he was shooting at some food, and up through the ground come a bubbling crude.
00:11Oil, that is, black gold, Texas tea.
00:16Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.
00:19The kinfolk said, Jed, move away from there.
00:22Said, California is the place you ought to be.
00:24So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly.
00:27The hills, that is, swimming foos, movie stars.
00:32The Beverly Hillbillies.
00:57Well, Gethro, what have you got to say about that?
01:17I didn't bust it, honestly.
01:19He's telling the truth, Mr. Drysdale.
01:21It was hanging in pieces like that when we moved in.
01:24Yes, sir.
01:25No, it's supposed to be like that.
01:26It was made that way.
01:28It's been like that for 200 years.
01:30Two hundred years?
01:32Hey, this house is older than it looks.
01:35Gethro!
01:36Oh, a plum forgotten.
01:38Granny wants to see you.
01:39Let's get out.
01:40All right, Uncle Jed.
01:42Nice boy.
01:44His maw, my cousin Pearl, will give me the notion to move out here.
01:47Well, I'm most grateful to her.
01:49Oh, but first, I wanted to explain about this priceless crystal chandelier.
01:53It was designed and made for Louis XV, hung in the Hall of Mirrors at Versailles.
01:57Napoleon Bonaparte planned campaigns for the light of that chandelier.
02:01Talleyrand used it.
02:02Wellington, Israeli, Bismarck, Wilson.
02:06Mr. Drysdale, we're just plain folk.
02:09We don't mind a few things being secondhand.
02:13Getting back to my cousin Pearl.
02:14She's looking after the old home place for me.
02:17You ain't never seen my family home, have you?
02:19No, I haven't, Mr. Clever.
02:20It's a dandy.
02:22Yes, those southern mansions are beautiful.
02:24I suppose it has the large white pillars.
02:27It did, but we bring them along and put them on the beds out here.
02:31No, you see, I was referring to wooden pillars.
02:34Oh, I ain't never slept on one of them.
02:35We had everything first class back home.
02:38Sure hope Pearl's taking good care of that place.
02:53Well, hello there.
03:02Oh, why, why, you're Mr. Brewster from the oil company that paid Cousin Jed all that money
03:08for his wall.
03:0925 million to be exact.
03:13You ain't here to back out, are you?
03:15No, no, indeed.
03:16Your cousin's money is safe in the bank in California.
03:18I just thought you'd like to know that I heard from the bank and your family arrived
03:23in Beverly Hills safe and sound.
03:26Oh, that is good news.
03:27My son Jethro drove him out, you know.
03:29Yes, I know he did.
03:31Oh, I have something here from the bank.
03:33I think you'll, I think you'll enjoy it.
03:35For me?
03:36They told me it's your house.
03:37I'd find you here.
03:38Yeah, well, I promise Cousin Jed I'd keep an eye on the old home place for him.
03:43It's a long trip from my house, but, uh, I, I, I'm glad to do it for Jed.
03:49That's nice of you.
03:50Yeah, well, you know, uh, can, can, can I help you look for that money?
03:54What is the money?
03:55It's, uh, it's pictures of the estate that Mr. Drysdale, the president of the bank, purchased
03:59for him in Beverly Hills.
04:00Oh.
04:01Now, this is now the Jed Clampett estate.
04:04Land to mercy, look at that.
04:07Why, it's bigger than the state capital.
04:09Quite a change from this place, all right.
04:11What in the world is that?
04:15Oh, uh, that's a swimming pool.
04:17Swimming pool?
04:18Yeah, it's quite ornate.
04:20Oh, my son Jethro's gonna like that.
04:23Granny, when we's done washing, can I go swimming here in the cement pond?
04:42Of course not.
04:43I don't allow nobody to splash around in my wash water.
04:46Ain't there no place else you can wash?
04:48This cement pond's the only water we got.
04:50Place ain't got a well, it ain't got a creek.
04:53Ain't even got a rain barrel to catch what comes out of the sky.
04:56Oh, and that banker fellow's seen me unloading your washtub and scrubbing, boy.
05:00He said, why, you can throw that away.
05:02We don't use them things here in Beverly Hills.
05:04Now, you listen here to me, boy.
05:06I don't care how other folks live in Beverly Hills, but us clampers is gonna be clean.
05:11Yes, ma'am.
05:12May not have it as nice as we have it back home in the cabin.
05:16Just a pump right in the house and everything.
05:18But we ain't gonna lower our standards.
05:20No, ma'am.
05:21Here, wrench these things out for me.
05:24We gotta get this tub back to the kitchen really fast.
05:29Yep.
05:30Being clean is a strict rule with your Uncle Jed.
05:33Let me look you over.
05:39Many the time we've been down to our last piece of fat bag.
05:42I'd say, shall I cook it to eat it, or shall I render it down for soap?
05:48He'd say, no, render it down for soap, Granny.
05:51Granny, the Lord will feed us poor folks, but we gotta do our own washing.
05:59But Uncle Jed ain't poor now, Granny.
06:02He got $25 million.
06:04How long do you think that's gonna last if we go throwing it away on store-bought soap?
06:09We stop wanting us.
06:14Now, here's a view of the entrance hall.
06:17Moss, bars, and garters.
06:19Why, it's a pail.
06:20Of course, whoever would have thought that my cousin Jed would be living in an estate like this.
06:26Well, the credit is yours.
06:28You're the one who talked him into moving.
06:30Oh, well, I put the notion in his head.
06:33But it was really kind of Allie Mae, wait.
06:35Yes, his daughter will have a wonderful life as the Beverly Hills debutante.
06:39Can't you just see that beautiful girl descending this magnificent stairway?
06:44I sure can.
06:45I don't reckon that's the way a young lady comes down and sits in Beverly Hills, is it, Mr. Drydale?
06:57Oh, not as a rule, no.
06:58Oh, I can come down the other way.
07:00Watch this.
07:01How's that?
07:10Well, that's not exactly what I had in mind.
07:13Well, show me.
07:14No, my secretary will show you.
07:16Oh, she's in town doing some shopping for you.
07:19Oh, what's she getting me?
07:21Well, now, that's going to be a surprise, Allie, but it's some things you've been a-needin'
07:25and they're going to be pretty and you're going to like them.
07:28Thinks I've been a-needin'?
07:30A set of muskrat traps.
07:33A three-blade frog sticker.
07:35Nope.
07:37A ready-made slingshot.
07:40Now, Allie, you way off the track.
07:42Now, you wait until Miss Hathaway gets here and you'll see.
07:44Yes.
07:45Well, I'll be pushing along to the back.
07:49This mansion of his has 32 rooms and 14 baths.
07:5414 bathrooms?
07:56Yes.
07:57A sunken marble bathtub.
08:01Oh, I can just see Ellie Mae having herself a bubble bath in there.
08:13I tell you, Mr. Brewster, the more I see of these pictures,
08:16the more I want to get out there and help Cousin Jed.
08:19Of course, I wouldn't go without being asked.
08:22Well, naturally.
08:23But, uh, you know, I-I think you should go.
08:27I've been asked.
08:28Well, now, it's not exactly my province.
08:32I mean, I, uh...
08:33Well, why don't you telephone your cousin and talk to him?
08:36Oh, why, they ain't a telephone within 40 miles of this place.
08:41Nearest one, I guess, is, uh, at the International Emporium, clean over to Oxford.
08:46Well, I'd be happy to drive you over there.
08:48Oh, I couldn't let you drive me all that way just to use telephone.
08:52Busy oil company man like you.
08:55That's 40 miles.
08:57Well, there's no trip at all in this car.
08:59No, I couldn't do it.
09:02Well, folks would see me riding in this big, shiny car with a tall, good-looking city fella.
09:09Why, sure as the world, they'd think that...
09:12Let's go.
09:14Well, uh, what about your horse and buggy?
09:17Oh, just untie, Betches.
09:19You go on home.
09:19Come on.
09:19Come on.
09:27And here's Miss Hafferberg.
09:43Mon capitaine, je suis retour.
09:46Fine.
09:47Ready for a limayne?
09:48Gentlemen, aided and abetted by the gossamer garments, exotic lotions, and other feminine appurtenances,
09:56within these cartons, I am ready to assume the role of Pygmalion and transform that barefoot
10:03galatea into a striking and sophisticated paragon of Beverly Hills' locatum.
10:10That's yes the hard way.
10:12Well, duty calls.
10:13I leave you in capable hands.
10:14Goodbye, Miss Clavitt.
10:15Thank you, sir.
10:17Chief?
10:19Well, I sure as neighborly of you, Miss Hathaway, you reckon you can handle any of me?
10:23Uncle Jay and Granny says...
10:25Oh, howdy, Miss Hathaway.
10:28Oh, bonjour, Jeffo.
10:32Here are them things in for Miss Hathaway, Jethro.
10:35I think she kind of likes you, boy.
10:37She does?
10:39Well, I can't take them into the house.
10:41That's what I come out here to tell you.
10:43Granny says that all the menfolk's got to stay out of the house while Ella Mae's taking her bath.
10:49Oh.
10:49But isn't Ellie Mae bathing in the privacy of her own bedroom suite?
10:53Hear what she called you?
10:54Sweet.
10:59What's the matter with him?
11:00Why doesn't he answer?
11:01Well, he's just a little shy, I reckon.
11:03Ask him again.
11:04Is Ellie Mae in her bedroom suite?
11:06No, she ain't.
11:09Darling.
11:12I don't know.
11:13I'll find her myself.
11:18Uncle Jed, I got me a girl.
11:21You sure have, boy.
11:22And a city girl, too.
11:23Yahoo!
11:24Oh, some city girls I were about, Jethro's such a good-looking boy.
11:34Every girl in the fifth grade was after him.
11:36I hardly think anything serious can develop between boys and girls in the fifth grade.
11:41Oh, I don't know.
11:43So far this year, there's been three couples out of Jethro's class getting married.
11:48Married?
11:49You're fifth grader.
11:50Carson's nearly as busy in that school as the teacher.
11:56That's amazing.
11:57Oh, I've heard of them.
11:58Uh-oh, wouldn't you know it?
12:00There's that Snoopy, Elberna Bradshaw, and her big-mouth door sitting on my front porch.
12:05Oh, I can just hear the stories.
12:07They'll start going around if they see me in this car here with you.
12:12Yoo-hoo!
12:13Elberna!
12:15It's me!
12:16How?
12:20Terrible gossip, that woman always making trouble.
12:24She tried to talk Grinny, I'd have gone to California.
12:27Ha!
12:28She ought to see Grinny now.
12:30Living like a queen in that Beverly Hills mansion.
12:38Hey!
12:40Hey!
12:41I should have listened to Elberna Bradshaw and stayed home.
12:45Had a pump right in the house.
12:47Didn't have to choke water in a quarter of a mile.
12:50Oh, you ready to get rinsed off, Haley?
12:53Well, not yet, Granny.
12:55Should have washed my hair.
12:56No.
12:57You better wait till I can catch some rainwater.
13:00That pond water smells like it's got medicine in it.
13:03I wondered why there's no fish in that pond.
13:05Yeah.
13:06I reckon that water killed them fish.
13:09Don't you worry.
13:10My life's soap will kill anything that killed them fish.
13:14Have you seen...
13:15What in the world's going on here?
13:18Well, there's a bath going on.
13:20That's what's going on.
13:21Howdy.
13:22But I don't understand.
13:24Well, then somebody ought to explain it to you, city woman.
13:27You see, first you heat some water.
13:29Then you put it in a great big tub like this.
13:32You put some soap in it, and then you get in it, and you start to wash, and that's what
13:35you call a bath.
13:37Well, Granny, you don't have to do this sort of thing in Beverly Hills.
13:41Don't you listen to her, Ellie.
13:43Ain't you ever heard that saying that cleanliness is next to godliness?
13:48But of course.
13:48John Wesley said that.
13:50I bet he didn't live in Beverly Hills.
13:52Here, Ellie.
13:53Dry yourself off with this nice big bath towel.
13:57That's my girl.
13:59I'll rinse off that old lye soap.
14:03Lye soap?
14:04Did you say lye soap?
14:07That's right.
14:08I make it myself.
14:09But that will ruin this beautiful girl's delicate skin.
14:13I've been washing with her for 72 years.
14:16Look at my skin.
14:18Like leather.
14:19Yeah.
14:20Nice, ain't it?
14:23Granny, I hope you will forgive my momentary bewilderment at this primitive form of ablution,
14:28but please let me explain.
14:30Well, first explain what you just said.
14:32Well, Ellie Mae has a beautiful big bathtub upstairs.
14:36Upstairs?
14:37It was hard enough carrying the water in here.
14:40I ain't going to tote no water upstairs.
14:42You don't have to.
14:43There's a big, beautiful...
14:45Haven't you been upstairs?
14:47No.
14:48Jed said that probably belonged to somebody else.
14:51Ain't that right, Ellie?
14:52Yeah.
14:53Paul said he heard tell that folks sometimes live one family right on top of another.
14:57But that's only in apartment houses.
15:00This entire house belongs to you.
15:02And each one has his own individual bedroom suite.
15:05Come along and let me show you.
15:06And also the lovely things I brought from town.
15:08Well, you go ahead.
15:09I'll be up directly.
15:11What all did you bring from town?
15:13Everything, Ellie?
15:14Everything from chapeau to pumps.
15:20Pumps.
15:21Praise the Lord.
15:22Now I won't have to tote water.
15:23Yes, Earl?
15:29Yeah, Uncle Jet?
15:31Now you're going to be keeping company with a girl.
15:34Is there any questions you'd like to ask me?
15:37What kind of questions?
15:40Oh, about girls.
15:42How much do you know about girls?
15:44They're softer than boys.
15:46Yeah, I reckon.
15:49Generally speaking.
15:51And they're shorter and rounder.
15:53Yeah?
15:55And the hair's longer and it smells sweet when you snuggles up to them.
15:59Oh, so you've been doing some snuggling, have you?
16:02I've done more than that.
16:04Yeah, I reckon you better tell me about it.
16:06Who was she?
16:07Prettiest girl in the hills.
16:09Big mouth Bradshaw.
16:12My old Vernis girl.
16:16I hear her tell she's kind of fast.
16:19Is she ever?
16:22Uncle Jed, I was walking past the cabin.
16:26And big mouth, she calls out the window to me.
16:28She says, howdy, Jethro.
16:29She says, my ma's just made a big batch of cookies.
16:32Come on in and have some.
16:34And I says, sure your ma won't mind?
16:37She says, ma's gone and so's pa.
16:40I'm here all alone.
16:42Well, Uncle Jed, I was in that house before you could wink an eye.
16:46Can't say they're blaming us.
16:48Great.
16:48No sooner was I inside, the big mouth, she puts a music record on the phonograph machine
16:53and commences to sashaying around.
16:56A twisting and a turning.
17:01Dancer.
17:03Yeah, I reckon so.
17:05Anyway, she says, put your arms around me, Jethro, and I'll teach you the two-step.
17:09What'd you say?
17:12I says, listen, big mouth, I says, here we are, all alone.
17:17Your ma and your pa are gone.
17:19And you think that I'm going to waste my time dancing?
17:22I says, not me, sister.
17:24Bring on them cookies.
17:32What'd she say?
17:33Well.
17:33Jed, you and Jethro can start digging the well.
17:37That city woman brought us some pumps.
17:39That's fine, Randy.
17:40We'll get right to it.
17:44What'd that Bradshaw girl say when you said bring on them cookies?
17:48Well, she just held up them cookies like this here.
17:52Kind of blinked her eyes at me and said,
17:54Jethro, which do you think it tastes sweeter?
17:57These here cookies or my lips?
17:59Well, Uncle Jed, right then and there's when I found out she was fast.
18:08I grabbed them two cookies and it took me two miles to outrun that gal.
18:13Jethro,
18:23on one of these days, you and me's got to have a long talk.
18:30I ought to be out there looking after Jethro.
18:41You know, Jed's going to need him to help garden a place this big.
18:45Well, most Beverly Hills mansions have regular gardeners.
18:48And, of course, a complete sprinkling system.
18:50Sprinkling system?
18:51Oh, yes, indeed.
18:53That entire lawn is crisscrossed with underground pipes.
18:56Land to mercy.
18:57Five hundred, Jethro, there's water all over this property.
19:08Ain't too deep, neither.
19:09I know.
19:10Should I commence to digging?
19:11Well, now, let's get as close to the house as we can.
19:14That way the pump won't have so far to pull.
19:16Mr. Clampard?
19:17Jethro?
19:18Uh-oh, here comes your sweetheart.
19:22Mr. Clampard,
19:24I cannot handle that daughter of yours.
19:26What happened?
19:27I opened that box of beautiful clothes,
19:29turned my back for a moment,
19:30and she bolted like a wild colt.
19:32I was feared this would happen.
19:33Where is she?
19:34She's up there.
19:36I'll go right up and talk to her.
19:40Jethro, have you been upstairs yet?
19:43No, ma'am.
19:44Then you've got a surprise coming to you.
19:46What is it?
19:47Your sweets.
19:48So are you.
19:51No.
19:56Oh, hide it, Pop.
19:58Hey.
20:01I'm ashamed of you.
20:03Running off for Miss Hathaway?
20:05I didn't run away from Miss Hathaway.
20:07What'd you climb up here for?
20:09To cut a fork for that new store-bought slingshot she brought.
20:12Did she bring you a slingshot?
20:15Fanciest thing you ever did see.
20:17Just a minute, I'll hook it up and you can see for yourself.
20:19Look at that.
20:31I'm done, I'm done.
20:33A store-bought lace-trimmed double-barrel slingshot.
20:41Ain't it a doozy?
20:42I don't know how good I can aim it,
20:44but it'll sure throw a heap of rocks.
20:46I tell you, Granny, there's so much water here,
20:52you could shoot a load of buckshot in that ground
20:54and bring up a dozen springs.
20:56I'll be right back.
20:57I'll be right back.
21:16I ain't never missed yet.
21:20But now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin.
21:42They would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in.
21:45You're all invited back next week to this locality
21:49to have a heaping helping of their hospitality.
21:53Hillbilly, that is.
21:55Set a spell.
21:56Take your shoes off.
21:58Y'all come back now.
21:59Yeah?
21:59This has been a Filmways presentation.
22:11This has been a Filmways presentation.
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