- 20 hours ago
Parker is robbed of $62,000 while McHale is at a meeting and the crew is on liberty. McHale and the crew then try to locate the cash.
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00:00The End
00:30All enlisted crew members will absolutely and positively be restricted to the confines of this boat
00:36Right
00:37And when we get exact and specific orders from Captain Binghamton, what do we do?
00:44We ignore them, that's what we do
00:46All hands, four hours of liberty, go on
00:50Oh, relax, Chuck
00:54What old Leadbottom doesn't know won't hurt him
00:56Hey, hey, you ain't balls
00:59Don't forget, you'll be back here by 1300
01:02And sober
01:03Here we come, Alistair
01:06Yeah, and stay out of trouble, too
01:08Hey, hey, Chuck, hang on, boy, hang on
01:15Now, easy to see, I'll get you out
01:20Don't worry about me, Skip
01:21Just stop by the library and tell them I'll be a little late
01:24I'll be back here by the library and tell them I'll be back here by the library and tell them I'll be a little late
01:31The End
02:14Oh, I tell you, Wally, someday, some lovely day.
02:23Captain Binghamton, sir. Congratulations, sir. Oh, sir, you've done it. You finally made rear admiral, sir. I'm so happy for you.
02:29Shut up. These must be Admiral Rogers. He's always dropping them.
02:36What do you want? What have you been bursting in here like that on me? Don't you ever knock? Some kind of a peeping Tom or something? What do you want? What is it? What, what, what?
02:44I'm sorry, sir, but this is a signal from Comfleet, sir. The weekly transport plane from New Caledonia has been grounded, sir, and they want us to send one of our boats over to pick up the base payroll.
02:52Oh, they do, do they? What do they think I am running? You're some sort of a South Seas Wells Fargo? I can't spare a boat from combat duty patrol?
03:00Oh, sir, I realize that, but I thought, since the 73 boat is in New Caledonia anyway, that they could just go over and pick up...
03:06Have you flipped?
03:08Do you think that I would entrust an entire base payroll to that bunch of thieves?
03:12Oh, sir, I know they're thieves, but, but hijacking a Navy payroll? Oh, sir, do you really think they dare?
03:18Dare. Dare. Would a starving man eat if you locked them in a candy factory all night with 62,000 chocolate-covered bonbons?
03:27I am not going to let that bunch of money-hungry vultures get near the base payroll, and if you think I am, then you're, you're...
03:36Oh, you're right. Oh, you're right, Elroy.
03:39I am, sir.
03:40Oh, yes, this is beautiful, Elroy. Beautiful, beautiful. What a way to get rid of McHale and his mob forever.
03:45Sir, you mean actually let them steal the base payroll?
03:49Uh-huh. It's only going to be a pulpy $62,000. What's that to the Navy? I mean, they're rid of McHale. That's a bargain.
03:57Sir, that's ingenious. Absolutely ingenious. And I must say, sir, anyone who is such a brilliant strategist as yourself deserves to wear these.
04:04Let me help you. Shut up and stop apple-polishing me. Get out of here. Get the 73 board on the phone. Go, go.
04:14Rear Admiral. McHale out of the way. I may be chief of staff one of these days.
04:22I thought you'd want me to put this in your file.
04:24I'd like to put you in my file under end for network. Get out of here. Out, out, out.
04:34P.T. 73 from the base. P.T. 73 from the base. Come in.
04:42Oh, boy. It's a captain.
04:46Just a minute, sir.
04:57Go ahead, sir. It's your nickel.
04:58Oh, my nickel. I'd have nickel you, you. Oh, what's the use? Has McHale left for that conference yet?
05:07Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'm here all by myself, sir.
05:09I mean, I'm here with the men, sir. Yes, sir. The men are all around me, sir. Isn't that right, men?
05:12Yes, sir.
05:13Oh, yeah.
05:14Right, Mr. Parker.
05:16You hear him, sir?
05:17I also hear your brains rattling around. Now, you hear this, Parker. I've got a very important assignment for you.
05:23I want you to go over to the naval paymaster's office and pick up the base payroll on the double.
05:29Yes, sir. Right, sir. The base payroll? Isn't that a lot of money, sir?
05:34Of course it's a lot of money, you klutz. It's $62,000 in small bills, unmarked.
05:40The kind that couldn't very easily be traced if anything happened to.
05:46Yes, sir. And you want me to pick it up?
05:47Right. I mean, us. I mean, the man.
05:49That's exactly what I mean. And when you get that money, take great care with it.
05:55And take the shortcut back to the 73.
05:58And go down saloon row.
06:01Down saloon row?
06:02Past the gambling casino.
06:05Just before you get to the racetrack.
06:08Just before the racetrack. Got it. Right, sir.
06:11You can count on me, sir. I mean, us. I mean, the man. Isn't that right, man?
06:15Yes, sir. Aye, aye.
06:16Right, Mr. Parker. I'll always agree with you, sir.
06:18Would you tell those men to shut up and quit talking?
06:21And have that one man get his throat looked into?
06:24Now you move out. On the double. Hubba hubba. Over and out.
06:27Right. Hubba hubba. I mean, over and out. Right.
06:31Oh, boy, what a spot. $62,000 and me all alone.
06:35Oh, boy. He said hubba hubba.
06:38All right. Where are my guns?
06:41Let's go by the racetrack.
06:43Here, it's better.
07:05Oh, boy.
07:06Mess around with me, will you?
07:29Uh, smoke if you got them.
07:36Oh, dear.
07:51Air raid! Air raid! Air raid!
07:56Careful!
07:58Oh, pardon me. Which way is the shelter?
08:03Sorry to interrupt.
08:06are you all right monsieur sorry i i thought i was hanging on to a thin lamppost
08:33oh are you sure you are all right monsieur oh no no i didn't mean you i didn't mean your leg look
08:39like a lamppost it was just that well here hey hey the money the payroll where is it money monsieur
08:46oh has any of you seen this officer's money no we have seen nothing monsieur not even a suit
08:53but what you must have i had it right here was in a canvas bag and we were
08:57hey you're lying i can tell if you're all in this together you are mistaken monsieur i assure you
09:04oh now wait a minute okay everybody nobody will stand back or i'll shoot oh no i'm wise to your
09:10little game sure you got the money and now you're gonna do away with me well
09:12you better stand back because i got a gun and i'm a crack shot
09:16do not be afraid monsieur we only wish to help you no i don't want your help i don't want anybody
09:26help i just want my mother you better yet to skip her skipper skipper skipper skipper
09:34six two thousand dollars
09:42the whole payroll tell me you're kidding chuck please tell me you're kidding well i wish i could
09:50skip but when i came to the money was gone bag and all oh brother what are we going to tell
09:54captain binghamton well it's like my mother always said fibbers never prosper so i think we
09:59should just tell him the truth are you kidding mr parker he'll never believe us
10:03he'll accuse us all of swiping it all right all right wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute
10:08there's only one way out of this mess we got to get that dough back and fast so what we need is
10:12facts now tell me when you came to what was the first thing you saw a girl's ankle a girl
10:20a girl's ankle how do you like that he loses 62 grand and all he can think of is a dame
10:25hold it hold it now if that girl was close enough to him she could have seen who took the door right
10:30right or she could have taken the door herself huh hey how about that now mr parker do you remember
10:37what she looked like yeah tell us tell us well uh she had on a green dress a green dress remember
10:42that and it was no no it was blue i think that's all right now no it was red yeah no it was kind of
10:49greenish red and had a little blue no no no never mind about the dress look describe her now what was
10:54she built like oh she was built like a girl no question about that skill sorry well uh she was
11:00brunette kind of tall slender uh of course she kind of chubby in places you know i mean you've seen
11:06watch it wait a minute wait a minute she was she was kind of a blonde and short see well from my angle
11:12it was hard oh no please come on chuck will you give us a clue we gotta find this girl look think
11:18come on mr parker concentrate mr parker please really put your heart in it heart heart that's it
11:25she had a heart oh sure and a liver and a stomach and a pair of kidneys and a heart
11:31she had a little brown heart it was a birthmark it was right on her right ankle i remember
11:35we're back to her ankle again no no wait a minute wait a minute are you sure about this birth
11:39mike are you absolutely sure i'm positive skip was right where i grabbed her i oh no that isn't
11:43what it sounds like see i was lying now that's that it's all right it's all right now at least you
11:47gave us something to go on bad news skip headbomb's calling us on a squawk box oh wait a minute wait
11:56a minute we gotta stall them boys now follow me follow my lead huh okay hi this lieutenant commander
12:03mikhail sir what can we do for you captain well you can start by giving me your present position
12:09at sea and your estimated time of arrival at taratupa uh estimated time of arrival that well you see
12:16sir we haven't left neumea yet sir no uh we'll see where we're having uh the engine trouble that's right
12:22engine trouble can you hear that sir all our engines in real bad shape sir it worked they fell
12:31into our trap and now hear this mikhail take all the time you need but you get those engines fixed
12:37right i don't want anything happening to the 73 while you're carrying our payroll take all the time
12:43you need mikhail all the time you need i'll see you when you get back over and out
12:47oh it worked it worked the rats went for the cheese order a plane to fly us up to neumea with
12:55any luck mikhail and his brigands they'll be in jail by midnight
13:01he never could take it that way it's awful agreeable for him you think he suspects anything
13:06skid look who's got time to worry about that we've got real problems like trying to find that money
13:10yeah sure but all right all right stop beating your gums and start pounding the pavement chuck gave
13:15us a clue let's go out and find that gal skip do you really think we have a chance it's a cinch
13:22that birthmark is on her ankle this could have been embarrassing
13:34excuse me but the ball she is under the bench
13:45not with mic and sights skip how about you
13:51how'd you do how'd you do with my concise skip how about you zilch nothing in three
14:16now somebody's chasing you yeah but i think i got away boy was she ever mad i got pulled by a big
14:21freckle hey where's your gun and gun belt she took it i told you she was mad hello brother have a say
14:27die skipper there's a fresh brace of fillies now yeah come on let's go come on
14:33darn tablecloths you can't see their ankles tablecloths relax mr houdini here will take
14:45care of everything huh yeah pardon ladies i have reason to believe this table was stolen from the
14:53u.s navy permitte moi now let me see the serial number is on the legs
15:01made in paris so sorry ladies what does we say in america you cannot win them all
15:12hey that looks pretty easy i'll get the other table hey chuck no no uh pardon ma'am we are looking for
15:21as he stole in property
15:22chuck
15:28i'm sorry ma'am i'm sorry i'm just like we hope you know you know
15:36hey my gun
15:42sir it's just as you expected not a sign of commander mikhail or any of his crew
15:56and what did i tell you lieutenant they've run off they abandoned ship they absconded with the
16:01entire base payroll isn't that terrible oh sir it's just awful
16:05well we're going to get these highwaymen dead or alive let's move out
16:10are you sure there was a
16:16you stop moaning stop moaning will you you stop moaning look time is running out so we got to
16:24spread out now and keep looking for that gal now come on get going come on come on
16:27well don't worry skip i got a feeling our luck's gonna change well i sure hope so because if it
16:34doesn't
16:38holy mackerel i'll say it's changing from bad to worse
16:41take a look
16:42what's he doing in new caledonia i don't know
16:49oh boy if he spots us before we find that money it'll really be bread and water time
16:54come on quick let's go
16:58just put it down we will pour it ourselves not a bad morning's work eh bertrand i think we have
17:26the very generous allies no to the americans viva la linlis
17:32they're heading this way come on chuck we gotta find a back way out of this joint
17:41hey haven't i met your ankle before oh no my name's chuck
17:49hey buster you had no call to do that
17:56all right all right boys all right we don't want to cause any trouble
18:04easy does it
18:07are you sure chuck yeah she went that way
18:10come on
18:10let me in mikhail you'll get life for this i'll get you and your good notes mikhail you're under arrest
18:25open this door
18:27hey there they go chuck and the guy's carrying a bag
18:31hey it's the payroll money they got it
18:32come on chuck come on come on
18:40well what's another 10 years in the brink
18:47quick you hide yourself i'll meet you later
18:50we gotta catch him before binghamton catches us look you take the right fork and i'll take the left
19:05left right
19:06our left uh port starboard
19:08there he goes get him i want that pirate dead or alive
19:15stop parker stop stop
19:25oh don't you stand there panning come on stop
19:32pardon me sir
19:42hey good to see him chuck hey there he goes
19:49hey there he goes
19:53hey i'll stop you
19:58crook
19:59pardon me sir
20:19you dropped him
20:22merci
20:22crazy
20:38hey do you see me here in the sky
20:43please
20:44have you seen a shifty man in a gray suit
20:53thank you sorry to interrupt
20:57hey chuck i lost him and sorted the guys did you see him well i think he went that way
21:11let's go boys if we lose them we're goners come on
21:14now halt you're under arrest if he makes a move shoot him for the hole
21:24now wait a minute wait a minute you're making a mistake captain the crook will get away
21:27get off of it yes the crook won't get away i've got the crook right here
21:31you all of you all right lieutenant they're your prisoners
21:34and i'm just a second oh we've got you this time commander if you can't produce that payroll
21:38we're going to press charges for grand larceny
21:40sorry you gotta let's explain you see there's this girl with a birthmark on her
21:46oh yeah all right mikhail i've got you this time there's not gonna be any excuses
21:51nothing is gonna save you nothing
21:52hey nip zero coming in at six o'clock take cover boys come on get out of here
22:01keep coming
22:05that bandit has his trap no way to shoot back we're helpless no we're not
22:11chuck chuck get down
22:15chuck no that cannon doesn't work get down
22:20yes it does all you gotta do is light the fuse
22:22get down
22:36everybody okay
22:47yes
22:48unfortunately for you and your gang of pirates mikhail i'm still in one piece
22:52and if you think of that heroic stunt with that ridiculous cannon is gonna do you one bit of good
22:57just forget it find them now now now wait a minute wait a minute captain i beg of you look give us a break won't you
23:02won't you please give us just a little time to find that money sir
23:06are you want a little time
23:07yes sir
23:07i'll never let it be said that wallace b binghamton wasn't a sport
23:10you want time i'll give you time mikhail i'll give you three seconds
23:14one two three
23:16what is this hey hey hey look it's a 20
23:28a 50
23:29oh boy talk about manner from heaven
23:31man of my foot that's the payroll
23:34chuck those trucks must have stashed in the cannon
23:37what's going on here what what what
23:39there's your money captain
23:42hey that's what what what
23:44say you two met
23:49forty two thousand three hundred and sixty five
24:01i wouldn't worry about a thing sir i'm sure it's all there
24:04well it better be mikhail so help me every last dollar better be here
24:08forty two thousand three hundred and sixty six sir
24:13forty two thousand three hundred and sixty seven
24:17sorry sir
24:25skip just want to tell you a strong winds coming up
24:27parker you stupid
24:30don't want to give you a
24:31easy does it captain
24:34oh thank you
24:36run
24:42no
24:46no
24:47no
24:48no
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