- 2 days ago
McHale and the crew try to help Ensign Parker raise money to replace pearls destroyed when he tried to save the Captain from a supposed air raid.
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00:00Air Raid! Air Raid! Enemy plane! Air Raid! Get in the shelter! Air Raid!
00:09What? What? What?
00:10Air Raid! Air Raid!
00:13Hey, wait a minute! I don't hear any plane!
00:16Yeah, you're right. There's no Air Raid. You're dreaming, Chuck.
00:19Oh, no, Skip. It wasn't a dream. It was washing machine Charlie.
00:22I saw the bomb hit the cook shack. It blew it sky high.
00:26Well, it must have all come down in one piece, then. You see?
00:29It's still there, like always.
00:31You had a nightmare, Parker-san. I guess I put too much chili peppers in Chapsui.
00:36Come on, boys. Back to the sack.
00:37Come on, Chuck.
00:39It must have been my imagination, Skip. But I'm telling you, that dream was so real.
00:43I could just see this nipped plane starting to make its run.
00:46Then it came barreling in. Machine guns blazing.
00:52Hit the deck!
00:59Man, when you dream, you ain't kidding.
01:11Look! Those crazy Japanese blew up my cook shop.
01:15How could you?
01:17My own people.
01:18I could't see this land.
01:19I could see this land.
01:20I could see this land.
01:21Listen, I can't see this land, like always.
01:21It must have been my ability.
01:23I could see this land.
01:23¶¶
01:53¶¶
02:03¶¶
02:04¶¶
02:06¶¶
02:07Hey, here he comes.
02:09Hey, listen, Mr. Barker, listen, when's the war gonna end?
02:12Huh?
02:13That new nurse over at the new base, is she or ain't she?
02:15Oh, no, wait a minute, guys, wait a minute.
02:17I'm not a fortune teller.
02:18I can't tell you every little thing that's gonna happen.
02:20What about last night?
02:21Don't tell me that was just beginner's luck.
02:24Well, no.
02:25Matter of fact, my mother always said I was a little supernatural.
02:29When you got ESP, though, you can't just turn it on and off.
02:32ESP? What's that?
02:34I learned about it in college psychology.
02:36ESP means extrasensory perception.
02:39Well, it doesn't necessarily mean you have any extra sense.
02:42Matter of fact, I flunked the course.
02:44It's important that in my book, you're a seagoing swammy.
02:48Look, there's a crap game tonight with some high roller marines.
02:51So close your eyes and concentrate on money.
02:54Am I going to put or take?
02:57Come on, Mr. Parker.
02:58Please, Mr. P.
03:00I'll give it a try.
03:05Anything coming?
03:07Yeah.
03:08You're getting something.
03:09I'm getting...
03:10I'm getting a headache.
03:14Oh, I'm sorry.
03:15I guess I just can't get through the crap game.
03:18Hey, wait a minute.
03:20Wait a minute, though.
03:20Something's coming.
03:22Something's big.
03:23Hey, gang!
03:27Get a load of this.
03:28What do you got?
03:29What give?
03:29It looks like a treasure chest.
03:30Yeah, I was skin diving off the reef and I found it on the wreck of an old trading schooner.
03:34What's in it?
03:35Open up the roof.
03:36Let's see.
03:37Here, look at the roof.
03:37Get back, get back.
03:38All right.
03:39There it is.
03:45Hey, it's a map.
03:46Hey, it's in Japanese.
03:48What does it say, food?
03:49Hey, it's in Japanese.
03:50Hey, it's in Japanese.
03:51Hey, it's in Japanese.
03:52You hit the honorable jackpot.
03:55This is a map of buried treasure.
03:57Buried treasure.
03:58Buried treasure.
03:58Hey, hey.
03:59Mr. Parker.
04:00Uh, correction.
04:01Swami.
04:02You've done it again.
04:03Hey, you guys.
04:05What's all the racket?
04:06It's buried treasure.
04:08We're going to be rich, Skip.
04:09Three cheese for ESP.
04:11Another dazzling exhibition of Mr. Parker's occult powers.
04:14He had a premonition about it and it came true.
04:16Yes, Skip-a-san.
04:17Maps say Japanese trade a buried fortune on Talatupa.
04:20That's the real thing, Skip.
04:21We're going to be rich.
04:23Treasure maps are a dime a dozen out here in the South Pacific.
04:26Besides, we're in enough trouble with Binghamton already without digging holes all over the place.
04:31Here.
04:32Come on, Chuck.
04:32We're doing over at Mainside.
04:33Hey, wait a minute.
04:34Wait a minute.
04:36Something's trying to come through again.
04:38Yeah, I'm definitely getting a funny feeling.
04:40Well, scratch it.
04:41Maybe it'll feel better.
04:44Hey, you're right.
04:46Maybe you got ESP, too.
04:55Happy anniversary.
04:58A double strand of matched pearls from the South Pacific, huh?
05:02Oh, I tell you, those girls at the Yacht Club back home, they're going to flip their girdles when you walk in wearing these.
05:10Oh, sir, let me fasten those for you.
05:15Oh, thank you very much, sir.
05:18What do you mean?
05:19I just wondered what they would look like, that's all.
05:25Oh, they're very becoming, sir.
05:27Oh, do you think they are?
05:28Yes, sir.
05:29Yes, sir.
05:29Oh, of course, sir.
05:33Well, sir, I really didn't think that you were going to...
05:35Well, you better not think.
05:36I mean, any loose talk around the base, and I'll tear those stripes off you with my bare hands.
05:41It's a lovely string of pearls, sir.
05:42I'm sure your wife will be delighted.
05:44Well, she better be hysterical.
05:46A string of pearls like this back in the States would cost you $1,000.
05:49Of course, I didn't pay $1,000 for them, you know.
05:52There's this officer in the New Hebrides, and I got a price for this...
05:55What do you mean barging in here like this?
05:58Why, why, why?
05:59Yes, sir.
06:00The CVs are extending the runways out at the Ash Club, and they request permission to blow up some tree stumps.
06:03All right.
06:04Blow, blow, blow.
06:05I've got to get these pearls wrapped and packed and in the mail.
06:09Get my shirt.
06:10Oh, yes, sir.
06:13Allow me, sir.
06:13Here, put your hand in there.
06:15That's it.
06:18I'd just like to help you as much as I can, sir.
06:20Can you get that there?
06:20Get away!
06:22You're almost breaking my pearls.
06:27All right, Chuck, what's bugging you?
06:29Are you sore because I scuttled your treasure hunt?
06:31Oh, no, no, it's not that, Skip.
06:33I'm just worried.
06:34I keep getting another premonition, but I can't pinpoint it.
06:39Hey, that's it.
06:40Captain Binghamton.
06:42Oh, boy.
06:43The feeling's coming in stronger, Skip.
06:44I've got to warn him.
06:45It's the only sporting thing to do.
06:47Wait, wait a minute.
06:48Warn him?
06:49What are you talking about?
06:50A premonition, Skip.
06:51The captain's going to get blown up in an air raid.
06:53Again with an air raid?
06:55Look, you go giving him that premonition, Jazz, and you'll wind up with a Section 8.
06:59Skip, good morning, sir.
07:01Oh, it was up to now.
07:02What are you doing over here?
07:04I told you, it's the air raid, air raid.
07:11Get down.
07:13Hit the nerve.
07:16Get away from me, you maniac.
07:20That's not an air raid.
07:22They're just blasting tree stumps.
07:23Oh, my pearl necklace.
07:27Where's my pearl necklace?
07:29Pearl necklace, sir?
07:30Pearl?
07:30There must be some mistake.
07:32There's nothing about pearls in my premonition.
07:35Oh, my pearls.
07:39Oh, my pearls.
07:43Oh, my pearls.
07:44Oh, what a lamb chop, say.
07:47Did you lose lamb chops, too, sir?
07:49Skip, we better help him find his lamb chops.
07:51No, let's kill him.
07:52No, no, no, no, no, no, Captain.
07:53Don't blow your stake.
07:54Don't blow your stake.
07:55It's just a little mistake.
07:57Yeah, my ESP goofed.
07:59You're witched in what?
08:01Well, you see, sir, I had a premonition that you were going to get blown up in an air raid.
08:04Well, I'm sort of psychic.
08:06Is that what you are?
08:07You're sort of psychic, are you?
08:09Then it shouldn't be hard for you to read my mind right now, should it?
08:12Uh, no, sir.
08:14You're going to ship me out to the Aleutians.
08:16That's right.
08:17Now, you pack your crystal ball and you go.
08:20Oh, no, no, no, wait a minute.
08:21Wait a minute.
08:21Oh, be reasonable, Captain.
08:23It must be easier to replace some costume jewelry than an executive officer, sir.
08:28Costume jewelry, huh?
08:30All right, McHale, we'll have it your way.
08:32If this great white ape is so valuable to you, you'll get up $1,000 and then he's all yours.
08:39$1,000?
08:41That's what these genuine pearls that you call costume jewelry cost.
08:45Now, I'm leaving for conflict this afternoon.
08:47You've got just 24 hours to raise that money or Parker here joins the abominable snowman.
08:52Any questions?
08:53Well, I have a question, sir.
08:55What outfit is he with?
08:56Oh, boy.
09:02$1,000 in 24 hours.
09:05Ah, that's impossible.
09:06Well, we've got to try something.
09:08I appreciate you guys trying to help me, but it's all my fault.
09:11Oh, now, come on, Mr. Parker.
09:13Don't give up without giving it a good old fight.
09:15Throw a trance.
09:15You'll come up with something, huh?
09:16Yeah, come on.
09:17Take it easy.
09:19Wait, you guys, let him concentrate.
09:21Right.
09:22Well, could give it a try, I suppose.
09:24Oh, no.
09:29No.
09:30Hold it.
09:31Hold it.
09:33That's it, Mr. Parker.
09:34You've done it again.
09:36Now what'd I do?
09:37You're psyched into the solution.
09:38Here it is.
09:39The treasure map.
09:40This has got to be a thousand bucks, though.
09:42Please.
09:43Oh, now, wait a minute.
09:43You know what the skip said about that.
09:45Besides, you're the psycho.
09:47Mr. Parker, the old ESP has already hit twice.
09:49This is the big one.
09:51Come on.
09:52Lead on.
09:53Show us where the treasure is hidden.
09:55Go.
09:5817, 18, 19.
10:00Oh, that's it.
10:0120 paces to the giant coconut plow.
10:03Yeah, I made it a fraction over 19.
10:05Better take smaller paces.
10:07Well, gentlemen, we're on the last lap.
10:10From the giant coconut tree, 40 paces.
10:13There you go, sir.
10:15Straight ahead.
10:16Right.
10:17A pot of gold.
10:17One, two, three, four.
10:22Hey, let's get the pig and jellos, man.
10:24The swarmy's on the beans.
10:25I got my pig.
10:28One, two, three, 24, 25.
10:32Turn left.
10:35Six, seven, eight, nine, thirty.
10:39One, thirty, two, thirty, three, thirty, four.
10:44Five, six, seven, thirty, thirty, thirty, nine.
10:48What the hell are you doing here?
10:55Get out of my bag, bro.
10:56Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
10:57I just went in for a drink of treasure.
10:59I don't even mean water.
11:00Oh, a drink of water?
11:01You, what are you trying to do?
11:02Burglarize my quarters to raise that thousand dollars?
11:05No, sir.
11:05No, sir.
11:06Really?
11:06I was really parched.
11:07Well, look at my throat.
11:08Oh, that doesn't look better.
11:09I don't care about you, bro.
11:11Don't shut your mouth when you talk to me.
11:13Now I'm leaving for conflict.
11:14And I'll be back by 0700 hours.
11:16And you better have that money.
11:18Cash on the barrel head or you're out, out, out, out.
11:21Yes, sir.
11:21Have a nice trip, sir.
11:23I'm sorry, sir.
11:28I said get out of my bag.
11:30I thought, I thought, here's your toothbrush, sir.
11:42Well, Mr. Parker, what in the heck are you doing in Binghamton's hut?
11:46Well, where do we start digging?
11:47Where's the treasure?
11:48Yeah, come on.
11:50Ten feet under the captain's bathtub.
11:53Bathtub?
11:54Well, that sure kicks that in the head.
11:55Hey, guys, here comes the skip.
11:57Hey, skip, come here.
11:59Come on over here.
12:01Skip, where have you been?
12:03Oh, I've been not trying to raise some dough to get you off the hook, Chuck,
12:06but all the guys that owe me money are busted till payday.
12:10Hey, how come you guys are here?
12:13And then what's with all the tools?
12:16Oh, well, now, skip, don't get sore,
12:18but we thought if we could dig up that buried treasure,
12:20we could maybe get Mr. Parker squared away and...
12:23Skip, we're sorry, but we know you didn't go along with it.
12:28Well, I didn't go along with it then,
12:30but right now I can't think of any other way of raising a thousand.
12:33So, come on, let's go.
12:34Where do we start digging?
12:36Mr. Parker's already located it.
12:38He's got a taste off.
12:40Good, let's get going.
12:41We haven't got much time.
12:42We might have to move a small building.
12:45Well, no sweat.
12:46We'll, uh, we'll get a half track and just haul it out of the way.
12:49What building is it, Chuck?
12:51Captain's hut.
12:53That's no problem.
12:54We just...
12:55The captain's hut?
12:57All right, come on, you guys, let's go.
13:03Let's get it worked out.
13:04Well, we've done some wild things, but moving the captain's hut...
13:06Well, that's the only way we can get to the treasure.
13:08And you better pray that there is some treasure down there,
13:11at least a thousand dollars worth.
13:12Right.
13:13Now I lay me down to sleep.
13:15Let's get...
13:16Okay, saddle up, Christy.
13:17Let's go.
13:18Bless Aunt Regina and Cousin Wally
13:20and Uncle Fred and Mike and Sam and Roy.
13:23All right, that'll do it.
13:24That'll do it, Chuck.
13:25Let's go.
13:26All right, take a strain.
13:29Take a strain.
13:33Easy, easy.
13:45Ensign, you're going to like it here on Tarotupa.
13:47Our CO is a regular guy.
13:48And as a matter of fact, we all call him Old Leadbottom.
13:51Old Leadbottom.
13:52Oh!
13:53Captain Binghamton, sir, I...
13:54I didn't expect you until tomorrow morning, sir.
13:57Well, the Admiral set the meeting back a week.
13:59I made the whole trip for nothing.
14:00I went all over...
14:02Don't you have any friends of your own, Ensign?
14:04Who is that man?
14:05Oh, I don't know, sir.
14:06I never saw him before.
14:07I see you're lushing it up again.
14:08I can't step off the base for one minute,
14:10but when my aid gets bagged...
14:12Me, sir?
14:12Oh, no, sir.
14:13Sir, I am never under the influence when I'm on duty.
14:15As a matter of fact, I must report that
14:17everything is under control on the base.
14:19Well, it better be.
14:20Sir, can I buy you a little nightcap before you retire?
14:24Oh, a little nightcap?
14:24Well, just one quick one.
14:26Yes, I'll help you.
14:27What'll it be, sir?
14:28I don't care.
14:29Whatever you're drinking, I don't...
14:30Oh, yes, sir.
14:31Stuart, two Shirley Temples.
14:35Shirley Temples?
14:36That's what I'm drinking, sir.
14:37Oh, well, Roy, one of these days,
14:39I'd like to bend your straw for you, sir.
14:41You sit down with a jerk,
14:43you get a lot of jerk.
14:44Can I have another straw?
14:47Seven, 38, 39, 40.
14:50This is it, Skip.
14:51Okay.
14:52All right, take a...
14:53Bring in the dynamite.
14:54Dynamite?
14:55Isn't that taking an awful chance?
14:56Look, it's like cement under this dirt.
14:58And if you don't blast her,
14:59we'll be digging here all night.
15:01Holy mackerel!
15:03Let's find him.
15:04Oh, boy.
15:05Come on, hit the brush.
15:06Get this.
15:07Come on.
15:08There are Lee Temples.
15:13That carpenter with him in charge
15:14and the one in the face
15:16is still in the end.
15:22My glasses.
15:23Where are my glasses?
15:32My hut.
15:33Where is my hut?
15:35My stairs are here,
15:36but my hut is gone.
15:38What are we going to do?
15:44Well, the first thing is
15:45we get the hut back.
15:46I'm the double.
15:47I'll try to stall Binghamton.
15:49Captain, are you sure?
15:51Of course I'm sure.
15:53I saw it with my own eyes, didn't I?
15:54I mean, I didn't see it.
15:55How could I see it?
15:56It wasn't there.
15:57Well, I don't understand.
15:59Hi, hi, Captain.
16:00Copy?
16:01Captain, I thought you were over at Comfleet.
16:03I came back early.
16:04I came back early.
16:06And McHale, so help me if you had anything to do with stealing my hut.
16:12Stealing your what?
16:13My hut.
16:15What'd you do with it?
16:16Did you sell it to the natives to get Parker off the hook?
16:18What's he raving about?
16:21He says his hut's disappeared.
16:24What are you two whispering about?
16:25Carpenter, are you in on this, too?
16:27Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
16:29I'll have to get me to the hospital.
16:31Now, you just take it easy, sir.
16:33Yes, sir.
16:34But, sir, please.
16:35Oh, no, no, no, no.
16:36Wait a minute, Captain.
16:37Top for fighting men and you have cracked.
16:39Yes, sir.
16:40So, just take it easy.
16:41Carpenter, give me a hat.
16:42Right.
16:43I am not going to the hospital.
16:45Now, I'll prove to you that my hut has been stolen.
16:47No, no, no, no.
16:48Stop it.
16:49Stop it.
16:50This, you think I don't know what I'm talking about.
16:52Now, you look right over there where my hut used to be.
16:55And what do you see?
16:56Your hut.
16:56That's right.
16:57My...
16:58Now, will you go to the hospital, sir?
17:03Well, I don't understand this.
17:04I walked right up those steps and I fell flat on my face.
17:08I don't understand it either, sir, because you didn't even have a Shirley Temple.
17:11Well, it's like I said, sir.
17:13It's just a touch of combat fatigue.
17:15Yes, sir.
17:15Well, he's never been in combat.
17:16He's just been sitting behind a desk ever since the ward's...
17:18Oh, shut up.
17:19All right.
17:20Easy does it, sir.
17:21Oh, what a night.
17:22Yes.
17:23Well, a couple of good days' rest in sick bay will fix you right up, sir.
17:27We'll go over there now and I'll give you a sedative and...
17:29Well, you'll get a good night's rest.
17:31Yes, sir.
17:32No, no, no.
17:32I'm too sick to go to sick bay.
17:34I've got some sedatives right in here.
17:36Thank you, sir.
17:37Oh, are these the senators, sir?
17:44I'll fix them for you.
17:45Oh, no, you won't.
17:46I don't trust you.
17:47You try and poison me, you boys.
17:49Oh, I'll do it, sir.
17:51I don't feel well.
17:52Oh, what a night this has been.
17:54I just hope I have strength enough to get into my pajamas.
17:57How many kills should I give him?
18:05Well, he's a pretty sick man.
18:07But I wouldn't stick my neck out, copy.
18:09No, sir.
18:11If he oversleeps in the morning, he's going to blame you.
18:14No, if I were you, I'd tell him to fix his own dose.
18:17Yes, sir.
18:17Smart thinking, Commander.
18:19You know, I don't care what they say.
18:20You're not all bad.
18:24Hey, Captain.
18:24Sir, I'll just leave the sedatives on the table and you can fix the dose yourself.
18:29Good night, sir.
18:31And, sir, I do hope that you wake up in the morning in full possession of your senses.
18:35Oh, I mean...
18:36Get out of here, you knuckleheads.
18:40Nighty-night, Captain.
18:42Sleep tight.
18:54Okay, boys, let's get the hut ready to move again.
19:21With a captain in it?
19:23Well, he's out like a light.
19:24Those pills did their work, boy.
19:25Good.
19:26Now, wait a minute, Skip.
19:26I can't let you take this risk.
19:28Oh, come on.
19:29We're not backing out now.
19:30Let's go, you bunch of happy house movers.
19:32Come on.
19:32Come on.
19:32Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
20:02Oh, I'll never take the sedative again.
20:21Bad side effects.
20:23Hey, what in blue blazes going on here?
20:32You want to wake up, Captain?
20:33Hey, what happened?
20:35The hut's hung up on a stump or something.
20:37It's coming up kilt.
20:37Oh, brother, that's all we need.
20:39All right, come on, let's go.
20:40Let's give it a hand over here.
20:41Come on.
20:42Up, up.
20:42Up.
20:43Up.
20:44Up.
20:45Up.
20:46Up.
20:47Up.
20:48Up.
20:49Up.
20:50Up.
20:51Up.
20:52Up.
20:52Up.
20:53Up.
20:57I gotta get out of here.
20:58There must be an earthquake.
21:20What the devil is going on around here?
21:22What have you been doing here?
21:24What's going on here?
21:25What?
21:26Well, you see, sir, we...
21:27I just want you to know it's a pleasure serving unto you, sir,
21:30and I'll send you a postcard from the Aleutians.
21:32Get up off of your knees.
21:34Get me off the desk.
21:36Don't let me...
21:38Get your silly hands off of me.
21:41Now, you listen to me, you little pipsqueak.
21:43You listen to me, good.
21:44I'm going to get your answers here.
21:45Why is all this shaking and shoving?
21:48Fuck, fuck, fuck.
21:49We're dead.
21:51No, we're not.
21:51Not yet.
21:52Take it out of here.
21:53Tell you what.
21:54You go by the dynamite and stand by.
21:56The minute I give you a signal, let her blast.
21:58Go on, move.
21:59Hurry up.
22:00Say something.
22:04What's new?
22:06Captain, Captain, we got to get out of here right away.
22:08Any second.
22:09Washing machine Charlie's due.
22:10Any second, yes, sir.
22:11Washing machine Charlie, what are you talking about?
22:13You're trying to steal my hat?
22:15That's what you're trying to do.
22:16Oh, no, sir.
22:17Why, why, why, Mr. Parker here had a premonition that that nip would come right over
22:20and score a direct hit right on your hut?
22:23That's right, Captain, a direct hit.
22:24No, no, no, no, no, sir.
22:26No, you have no faith in his psychic powers, so we took matters into our own hands.
22:32Yes, we moved your hut to save your life.
22:35Mr. Kale, you're sick.
22:37You're sick, sick, sick.
22:39I've never heard of such a feeble, ridiculous excuse.
22:42Hit the deck.
22:44It's an enemy attack.
22:45Enemy plane.
22:47Washing machine Charlie, take cover, boys.
22:49Wait, I don't hear any plane.
22:51Wait, wait, wait.
22:51It's an enemy plane, so he's gliding in.
22:53Yes, sir, it's a sneak attack.
22:55Down, sir, down.
22:56Down.
22:57Down.
22:57Down.
22:57Down.
22:57Down.
22:58Down.
22:58Down.
22:58Down.
22:58Down.
22:59Down.
22:59Down.
22:59Down.
23:00Down.
23:01Down.
23:02Down.
23:03Down.
23:04Down.
23:05Down.
23:06Down.
23:07There she is.
23:09Why, you little devil.
23:10There goes.
23:12All clear now, Captain.
23:13Yes sir.
23:14All clear.
23:15That's it, there he goes.
23:18Oh, look at that, sir.
23:21Here.
23:24Man, what a hole.
23:26Yeah, right where the captain's hut used to be.
23:28Listen, we could have been sitting ducks.
23:29Captain, if it hadn't been for Mr. Parker, that would have been your grave.
23:35Not exactly, Skip.
23:36You see, in my premonition, the captain was blowing up and out about a hundred yards.
23:41Then he started to hook.
23:43Spare me the details, boy. Spare me the details.
23:46Bless you. You saved my life.
23:47And your life is certainly worth more than a measly thousand dollars, isn't it, sir?
23:53Oh, my, yes, yes. Forget about the pearls.
23:56Plenty more where they came from, right, Chucky boy?
23:58Right, right. But no oyster can make a Binghamton.
24:07Well, it's been a long day. I think I'll check into the sick pay like you suggested.
24:12Chucky, you stop by my office in the morning.
24:16I'm going to check with you before I make a move. I want to know about those premonitions.
24:20Shut up!
24:21I should have checked with you, Chucky boy.
24:33Sorry, Wally. Here, let me help.
24:35Oh!
24:37Oh, what a war.
24:40The End
24:53¶¶
25:23¶¶
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