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Tv, Only Fools And Horses S02E05 - The Yellow Peril
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00:00Stick a bunny in me pocket
00:05I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:09Cause if you are the best ones
00:12But you don't ask questions
00:14Then brother, I'm your man
00:17Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:21It's like the changing of the seasons
00:23And the tides of the sea
00:25But is the one who's driving me bizarre
00:29Why do only fools and horses work
00:32La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
00:38So we have a deal then, Mr Chin?
00:43Yes, we have a deal.
00:45Good.
00:46Do you take a Barclay card?
00:49Do you?
00:51Now call me old-fashioned or sentimental if you like
00:54but I'm a strictly readies man myself.
00:55You know, cash in the hand, that's my motto.
00:57Anyway, we'll see you first thing in the morning, right?
01:00About eleven o'clock.
01:02Can't you do it today?
01:04Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
01:05Sorry, I can't do it today, Mr Chin.
01:06No, no, no.
01:07You see, today is a very special day.
01:11Today is the anniversary of my late mother's passing
01:14from this immortal curl.
01:16You know, and by tradition, my brother and me,
01:18we always go and spend the day with her in the cemetery.
01:22You know, tending the grave, that sort of thing.
01:26Anyway, I must rush because I've got to go and buy some flowers.
01:29Yes, I am barely sorry.
01:31No, that's all right.
01:32No sweat.
01:33I'll get them cheap from this geezer in the market.
01:35Sayonara.
01:36Cherie, huh?
01:37Cherie, huh?
02:06There you go, man.
02:13Excuse her, feet.
02:17That's the bestest grave in the entire cemetery, Rodney.
02:21Yes, master.
02:25I mean, look at the others.
02:27They all look like monuments to the unknown gypo.
02:30All the others crumble and fall into dust.
02:32That will stand forever.
02:35Do you know why?
02:36Because it's the only one in the entire cemetery
02:38that is made of fibreglass.
02:41One in the entire cemetery.
02:43It required planning permission.
02:45All right.
02:51It's looking a bit tatty nowadays.
02:55I don't know.
02:55It's not too bad.
02:57It's bound to look a bit iffy after 17 years, isn't it?
03:00I mean, so would you if you'd been standing out there
03:02for 17 years with pigeons and diesel fumes
03:05and the other mourners stubbing their cigarette ends out on you?
03:09I don't know.
03:11Well, maybe he could be right.
03:14What's he could do with brightening up a bit?
03:16Yeah.
03:18Yeah.
03:18If I added some fibreglass models of, say, an apostle
03:22and four cherubins with trumpets,
03:27do you think that would alter the effect?
03:29If you added fibreglass models of Snow White and a Seven Dwarfs,
03:33you couldn't alter the effect of that.
03:34Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi.
03:38Don't start getting sacrificial.
03:42I don't know what's the matter with you, Rodney.
03:44Really, I don't.
03:46You seem to have no sense of occasion.
03:49You've no
03:50Tres bien en somme,
03:53as the French say.
03:56Look at you now.
03:58Loafing about around your mother's graveside.
04:00Don't you feel any emotion?
04:03Now, look, Del.
04:04I didn't know Mum that well, did I?
04:06When she died, I was just a little nipper-oony.
04:09All odd socks and eczema.
04:11Now, you feel a sense of personal loss.
04:14Me, I...
04:16I just feel cheated.
04:32Yeah, I'm...
04:33I'm sorry, Rodney.
04:36I should have realised.
04:41My mum was a wonderful woman.
04:46She had long, golden, blonde hair.
04:51Sometimes.
04:54You could see her sitting at the bar
04:56with an egg's head in her simulated beaver skin
04:58with a rum and pep in one hand.
05:0120 senior service in the other.
05:05Now, she looked like a lady.
05:08You know, lots of people mistook her
05:10for a moneylender.
05:11Really?
05:12No, straight up.
05:14Yeah.
05:15Of course, I was a lot younger then, you know,
05:17and didn't have much money.
05:19But every night, she used to send across
05:21two or three pints of light and bitter.
05:23Or whiskey, if she was flush.
05:26That was Mum.
05:28And then, come about 10 o'clock,
05:30she'd look over where I was sitting
05:32and she'd shout,
05:34come on, dearl boy,
05:35get off home to bed,
05:38school in the morning.
05:41That's how the woman she was.
05:43Concerned about our welfare.
05:48Where was I, then?
05:50She was outside in the pram
05:51eating a narrow room.
05:53Was she worried?
05:54No, it's only an old pram.
06:03It's all right, putting your leg.
06:05Old pram.
06:06Of course, she was worried.
06:13No, I like it here, though,
06:14don't you, Rodney?
06:16It's nice and quiet.
06:17Away from the crowd
06:20and the noise
06:20and the traffic.
06:23It really is.
06:24It wasn't quiet.
06:26Yeah.
06:28And tranquil.
06:30Mm.
06:32You're decorating the kitchen
06:33of a Chinese takeaway tomorrow.
06:35Yeah.
06:37The birds are singing
06:38and the sun's shining.
06:41What did you just say?
06:43I said the sun's shining
06:44and the birds are singing.
06:46No, I mean, before that.
06:48Everything's quiet and tranquil.
06:50No, though,
06:51in between it being quiet and tranquil
06:53and the sun's shining
06:54and the birds singing,
06:55you mentioned something
06:56about a Chinese takeaway.
07:00Oh, the Chinese takeaway.
07:02Oh, yeah.
07:03Well, the owner is,
07:03he's in dead stock.
07:05He's got the elf inspectors
07:06coming round
07:07and he's got to have his kitchen,
07:08you know, painted.
07:10You know, have it bright and dark.
07:11So why have I got to paint it?
07:14Well, you're the one
07:14that's got the GC in art,
07:16aren't you?
07:16This is a good earner,
07:18this is, Rodney.
07:19I charged him 150 knicker.
07:21Well, I don't care.
07:23Oh, come on.
07:24I've given him your word now.
07:26Look, I am not painting the kitchen
07:28as some grotty Chinese takeaway,
07:30all right.
07:35All right.
07:36That's the way you want it.
07:42Yeah.
07:43I remember what mum said to me
07:45on her deathbed.
07:48Called me over to her side
07:50and she said,
07:52Del boy.
07:54Del boy.
07:55Started, did she?
07:58No, I'm sorry, Del.
08:00No, really, I'm sorry.
08:01I don't know why I said it.
08:03Sorry.
08:04Look after Rodney for me,
08:06Del boy, she said.
08:09Share everything you've got with him.
08:14Try to make him feel
08:15normal.
08:17That's what I've always done.
08:22Half of everything I've got.
08:25I mean, fair enough,
08:26I ain't got nothing,
08:27but half of it is yours.
08:30You give me half of everything.
08:32You'd nip the hole out of me last polo
08:34if I didn't keep me mouth shut.
08:37That hurts, Rodney.
08:38That hurts.
08:40If I had any wealth at all,
08:41I'd give you half like a shot.
08:42Yeah?
08:48Say you had
08:49two Rolls Royces.
08:52Well, I'd give you one,
08:53wouldn't I?
08:54You'd give me one of your
08:55Rolls Royces?
08:56Yeah, of course I would.
08:58If it was weather like this,
08:59I'd give you one
08:59with a sunshine roof.
09:03If you had two million pounds,
09:05what would you do?
09:06I'd give you a million,
09:07wouldn't I?
09:08Really?
09:09In cash.
09:12What would you do
09:16if you had two of them
09:17deep-sea divers' watches?
09:20Now, you know
09:21I got two of them
09:22deep-sea divers' watches.
09:25Don't take bloody liberties
09:27with me.
09:28Yeah.
09:29Yeah, that's the real
09:30deal coming out.
09:32All right.
09:33All right,
09:33you can have one of me
09:34deep-sea divers' watches,
09:36all right?
09:38No.
09:39No, I've got to
09:40draw the line somewhere.
09:41I'm fed up with you
09:43and your bribery
09:44and emotional blackmail
09:45every time you want me
09:47to do the dirty work.
09:48It's a point of principle
09:50now, Del.
09:50You'd better get this straight.
09:52I am not painting
09:53that kitchen tomorrow.
09:54I am not painting
09:55that kitchen
09:56in a thousand years.
09:58No way, my son.
10:03I'll give you a lend
10:04of me dirty books.
10:05Yeah, all right, then.
10:06Hey, Rodney,
10:20put that on the meter,
10:21will you?
10:25Right, come on.
10:27What's that look for?
10:28You can't expect me
10:29to paint with my feet,
10:31Del boy.
10:32I don't expect you
10:33to paint with your feet.
10:35I expect you to mix up,
10:36sweep up,
10:36and hold the ladders
10:37for young Rembrandt here.
10:38All right?
10:39Come on.
10:48Meow!
10:49Don't let him out!
10:52Oh.
10:54It's going to please
10:54Mr. Chin, isn't it?
10:56Oh, was it his pet?
10:57No, but number 39's
10:59off the menu.
11:09Do you reckon
11:10the rumours about
11:10these places is trolling?
11:12What?
11:12No, of course not.
11:15Well, that looked
11:16pretty alarmed
11:17about something.
11:24Here we are.
11:25Nice little kitchen,
11:27isn't it?
11:28Nice little kitchen?
11:30This is the pits, Del.
11:33This is the bloody pits.
11:35The old place
11:36was like an explosion
11:37in a dripping factory.
11:40This is a working kitchen,
11:42Rodney.
11:43You've got to expect
11:44a little bit of
11:45four-fart
11:46to spill out the pans
11:49every now and then,
11:50haven't you, eh?
11:51So what period
11:52are we going to
11:52decorate it in, Del?
11:53Early bubonic, perhaps?
11:55Yes, if you like.
11:58Look, don't worry about it.
11:59You've had all your
11:59inoculations, haven't you?
12:01Come on.
12:02Is this the kitchen, then?
12:04No, no,
12:05this is the master bedroom.
12:07The kitchen is upstairs
12:08in the bathroom,
12:09you, Wally.
12:10Now, listen, you two,
12:11you should be out of here
12:12in a couple of days
12:12if you don't do anything stupid
12:14like stopping for lunch.
12:15Right?
12:16Oi, Rodney.
12:17Come here.
12:17Down here, look at this.
12:18Now then,
12:19here's your paint, right?
12:21There's your walls,
12:22that's your ceiling.
12:24Now, I'll leave it all up
12:25to you, Michelangelo,
12:26all right?
12:27Oh, yeah?
12:28What?
12:29And just what am I supposed
12:30to do with them
12:31soppy little tings?
12:32Look,
12:33I can't even get
12:34me brush in them.
12:35I can't even get
12:38his brush in them.
12:39He can't even work
12:40that little problem out.
12:41Oh, go on.
12:42Tell him how to do it,
12:43Grandad.
12:44You get a pair of scissors
12:45and trim your brush up,
12:46yeah?
12:51No, you don't
12:52get a pair of scissors
12:53and trim your brush up.
12:56Look,
12:56what you do is
12:58you get your little tins,
13:00don't you?
13:00Open them up
13:00and you put them
13:01in your big tin,
13:02don't you?
13:03Oh, yeah.
13:04Yeah.
13:06No, I'd thought
13:07of that already.
13:07Oh, yeah.
13:08I'm not stupid.
13:09No, not much.
13:10Look it.
13:11Right.
13:12Oi.
13:12What?
13:13I ain't got no
13:14labels on them.
13:15You don't even know
13:16what colour they are.
13:17I know.
13:17The owner bought them
13:18cheap.
13:19He got well taken on.
13:20It's a load of rubbish.
13:21Say that again.
13:22Where'd you get them from?
13:23Me.
13:25Don't.
13:26Is this nicked, Del?
13:27I'm not doing it
13:28if it's nicked.
13:29No, Rodney,
13:29it is not nicked.
13:32Believe me.
13:33No, no,
13:33it's bankrupt stock.
13:34I bought two grosses
13:35a job lot.
13:37Right?
13:37Come on.
13:38Trust me.
13:39Trust me.
13:40Right?
13:41Good morning.
13:43Ah, good morning.
13:44Good morning,
13:44Mr. Chin.
13:45There you are.
13:46Here we are.
13:47My men are here,
13:47as promised.
13:48As you can see,
13:49they are the best
13:50in the business.
13:51They are, in fact,
13:53the creme de la monthe
13:55of the painting
13:55and decorating world.
13:58Good.
13:59You the painter?
14:00No, no, no.
14:01He's the painter.
14:03I'm his apprentice.
14:06It's all right.
14:07No, they are the best.
14:08The very best.
14:09Don't worry, Mr. Chin.
14:11In fact,
14:12Chin up.
14:13Chin, Chin up.
14:15Mr. Chin.
14:16Thank you, Chin.
14:17Chin up.
14:17Well,
14:22have you decided
14:24what colour
14:25the walls will be?
14:26Colour?
14:28Oh, yes.
14:29Yes.
14:30I mean, you don't
14:30think that we leave
14:31an important decision
14:32like that to the last minute,
14:34do you?
14:35Get that lid off.
14:36I'm trying.
14:36Yeah.
14:37Well, Mr. Chin,
14:38you see,
14:38the colour
14:39that I thought of,
14:41now, you may not agree with me,
14:43but somehow,
14:44I think that you will.
14:46You see,
14:46what I thought,
14:48and you can shoot me down
14:50in flames in this one
14:51if you like,
14:52you know what I mean.
14:53What I...
14:53Have you got the lid off yet?
14:54No.
14:55Yeah.
14:55Well, you see,
14:56what I thought,
14:57the colour these walls
14:58should be...
14:59Blue.
15:00What?
15:02I like blue.
15:04Blue.
15:04Ah, blue.
15:06Just sans frontiers.
15:08That is exactly
15:08what I thought.
15:09I thought,
15:09why don't we paint
15:11these walls
15:11a nice subtle shade
15:13of blue?
15:14What shade of blue?
15:15Yellow.
15:15And then I changed
15:16my mind.
15:18And I thought,
15:18no, no,
15:19not blue,
15:20no.
15:20What I thought we'd do
15:21is we would paint them gold.
15:23That is your line.
15:23This is gold,
15:24Rodney.
15:25What is the matter with you?
15:26Are you illiterate
15:27or something?
15:28No,
15:28I thought of gold
15:29because I remembered
15:29the name of your
15:30beautiful restaurant.
15:31Gold
15:32for the golden locust.
15:34Well,
15:35Mr. Trotter,
15:35I'll leave it to you.
15:38As long as my kitchen
15:39is painted and cleaned up
15:40before the health
15:41captain's inspector calls,
15:42all right?
15:43Mm-hmm.
15:43Fine.
15:44Sorry.
15:44Mm-hmm.
15:44Sorry.
15:45How did you know
15:46the health inspector's calling?
15:48I didn't think
15:48they warned you
15:49or nothing.
15:50Oh,
15:50I heard a telephone call
15:52from a man.
15:53He did not give me
15:54his name.
15:58What?
15:59He tells me,
16:00get your kitchen painted
16:02or you'll be
16:04in big trouble,
16:05John,
16:05huh?
16:09John?
16:11John?
16:11Yeah,
16:11John,
16:12John.
16:12You know,
16:12John,
16:12it's the expression,
16:13got an expression,
16:14John,
16:14and all that.
16:15Somebody up there
16:16must like him,
16:17mate.
16:17I wonder who
16:18that anonymous phone
16:19caller could have been,
16:20Dale.
16:21Yeah,
16:21well,
16:21I don't know.
16:22I don't think
16:22we're ever going to
16:23find that one out,
16:23are we,
16:24Rodney,
16:24eh?
16:24Well,
16:25come on,
16:26we must now say
16:26chow men,
16:27eh?
16:28And,
16:28let our men
16:30get on with the work,
16:31eh,
16:31Mr. Trotter?
16:32Do you think
16:33this anonymous person
16:34is likely to ring up
16:35any other Chinese restaurants
16:37and tell them
16:37to get their kitchens
16:38painted?
16:39Great to do something,
16:40didn't I?
16:41Otherwise,
16:41we'd have been lumbered
16:42with all this paint.
16:43Right,
16:44now listen,
16:44I'm going to take
16:45these boxes with me,
16:46right?
16:47So,
16:47Rodney,
16:48you'll have to water
16:48that lot down a bit.
16:49No,
16:50it's all right,
16:50it's all right,
16:51because you don't want
16:51to put it on too thick,
16:52do you?
16:53Because the plaster's
16:54none too kosher.
16:55Just remember,
16:56a little dab will do you.
16:57Right?
16:58Little dab will do you.
17:00Peter,
17:01what about all this
17:02grease and filth,
17:03Dale,
17:03boy?
17:03You raise for anyone
17:04to clean it up?
17:06Of course I have.
17:07What do you think I am,
17:07a cowboy or something?
17:08There's a tin of Ajax
17:09and a rubber glove
17:10in that bucket.
17:12Go easy on the Ajax.
17:14See ya.
17:21He's not in.
17:23Perhaps he's gone out.
17:25Oh yeah,
17:26I never thought of that.
17:27Of course he's gone out.
17:30Question is where?
17:32This is the second day
17:33on a trot,
17:34Dale's done a complete
17:35disappearing act.
17:36And when I asked him
17:37where he's gone,
17:38he always acts sort of
17:39evasive.
17:41I thought he told you
17:42to mind your own
17:42bloody business.
17:44Yeah,
17:45that's what I mean,
17:45evasive,
17:46you know.
17:47You know what I reckon?
17:49I reckon,
17:49while we've been
17:50imprisoned in that
17:51Chinese takeaway,
17:52he's been out
17:53and he's been
17:54wheeling and dealing
17:54on the quiet.
17:56Making a few bob
17:57more than cutting us out.
17:59Oh,
18:00you're in?
18:01You can't pull the wool
18:02over this boy's eyes,
18:04can you,
18:04eh,
18:04Grandad?
18:05Yes,
18:05I'm in,
18:06Rodney.
18:07Seven out of ten
18:08for observation.
18:09Did you finish that job?
18:10Yeah,
18:10about half,
18:11about half.
18:11Good,
18:11give us some money then.
18:14Come on,
18:14give us the Missoula.
18:15Yeah,
18:15yeah,
18:15yeah.
18:18150,
18:19spot on,
18:20well done.
18:20We phoned you
18:23to come and pick us up
18:24but you wasn't in.
18:25Hmm.
18:26What have you been up to,
18:28Dale?
18:28Oh,
18:28bits and pieces.
18:30Where have you been?
18:31There and back.
18:33So what have you been doing?
18:35This and that.
18:37Long as I know.
18:39I thought you'd
18:40winkle it out of him
18:41in the end.
18:44Listen,
18:44Rodney,
18:45I've been doing
18:45something private.
18:48All right?
18:49So just leave it at that,
18:50okay?
18:51Now,
18:51I think the best thing
18:53we can do with this money
18:54is to split it three ways.
18:56Okay?
18:57So here you are,
18:58granddad.
18:59That's 35 for you.
19:00Oh,
19:01cheers,
19:0140 for you,
19:02Rodney.
19:0340?
19:04Yeah,
19:04well you're the craftsman,
19:05ain't you?
19:06You get the most
19:07because you're experienced.
19:08Yeah,
19:08but over there,
19:09hang about,
19:09hang about.
19:10And you also
19:11get
19:12your diver's watch.
19:16Here you are.
19:18Hello,
19:18somebody at the front door.
19:19Granddad,
19:19go and see where that is,
19:20with it.
19:20Oh,
19:20my legs are older
19:22than yours.
19:22I know,
19:23that means they've had
19:23more experience,
19:24haven't they?
19:26Yeah,
19:27thank you.
19:27Good.
19:29Would you like it then?
19:31Yeah,
19:31cheers.
19:32Good.
19:32Oh,
19:32the bloke said,
19:33don't get it in the water.
19:36In the water?
19:37It's a deep-sea diver's watch.
19:39I know that,
19:40but it doesn't mean to say
19:41you've got to go deep-sea diving
19:42in it,
19:43does it?
19:44I mean,
19:44I've got a pair
19:44of them desert boots,
19:45but you don't catch me
19:46in the Sahara.
19:48See,
19:48look at that.
19:49Tells you how deep you are
19:50and everything.
19:51It's Trigger for you,
19:52Del.
19:52Oh,
19:53yeah.
19:53Hello,
19:53Trick.
19:54All right,
19:54Del boy.
19:54Yeah.
19:55Hello,
19:55Dave.
19:56What's up with you then,
19:56Trick?
19:57I've got some more
19:58of that paint.
19:58Interested?
19:59Oh,
19:59yeah.
20:00Yeah,
20:01I'll have some of that.
20:03Yeah.
20:04Yeah,
20:05what is it?
20:05Same price or lower?
20:06Same.
20:07Oi,
20:08Rodney,
20:08don't bang that watch.
20:09It ain't shop-proof.
20:11I won't be getting
20:12any more of this
20:13for a while.
20:14I'm laying low
20:14for a spell.
20:15We almost got caught
20:16the other night.
20:20What do you mean,
20:21you almost got caught?
20:22Yeah,
20:23by the railway,
20:23please.
20:24See,
20:25me and Monkey Harris
20:26get this paint
20:27from a storage shed
20:28down in Clapham,
20:29Johnson.
20:31You swore on me
20:32it wasn't nicked.
20:34Bankrupt stock,
20:35you said.
20:36British Rail,
20:37same thing,
20:37eh?
20:40Knocked off railway paint,
20:41eh?
20:42Well,
20:42I bet Mr Chin's
20:43going to be well-pleased,
20:44don't he,
20:44when he finds he's had
20:45his old kitchen done out
20:46in intercity yellow.
20:48I prefer to call it
20:49a wayday gold.
20:51I wondered where
20:52I've seen that colour
20:54before.
20:55All day long,
20:56I was whistling,
20:57this is the age
20:58of the train.
20:59Why?
21:02Don,
21:03this ain't the stuff
21:04they paint trains with.
21:05They use this
21:06for painting signs
21:07in tunnels.
21:08It doesn't matter
21:08what they use it for,
21:10Trigg.
21:10It's still knocked off.
21:11It's still illegal.
21:14Yeah,
21:14but it's good for the
21:15country road,
21:15Rodney,
21:15isn't it?
21:16Come on,
21:17Del,
21:17how can nicking off
21:18British Rail
21:19be good for Britain?
21:21He amazes me,
21:22you know,
21:23Trigg.
21:23He's got a GCE in maths
21:25and he still acts
21:25like a total
21:26wally brain.
21:27I'll tell you why
21:28this is good for the
21:29country,
21:29shall I,
21:29Rodney?
21:30Because British Rail
21:31will have to hire
21:32more security guards
21:33to protect this thing,
21:35thus lowering
21:36the unemployment figures.
21:38Plus,
21:40their insurance companies
21:41will need more people
21:42to handle British Rail's
21:44claims.
21:44That means
21:45redundant insurance
21:46clerks will be
21:46snatched from the
21:47dole queues
21:48and handed back
21:50their dignity.
21:52Right?
21:53Now,
21:53these people
21:54may very well
21:55celebrate their
21:56good fortune
21:56by buying a new car
21:58and taking a wife
21:59and kids
21:59on a touring holiday
22:00round Britain.
22:02This will result
22:03in a much-needed boost
22:04to our alien car industry,
22:07higher revenue
22:07for North Sea oil
22:08and a vital cash injection
22:10into seaside resorts
22:11and depressed areas.
22:13None.
22:13On the other hand,
22:15they may decide
22:16to take our holiday abroad,
22:18right?
22:19Thus forcing foreign
22:20hoteliers,
22:21restaurateurs
22:21and bar owners
22:22to buy more
22:23British beer,
22:24food and goods.
22:26This will result
22:26in a higher export drive,
22:28which in turn
22:29will be very good
22:30for our balance
22:30of payment surplus.
22:32Soon this country
22:32will be rich
22:33and famous again.
22:34The starving
22:34shall be fed.
22:35The homeless
22:36will be home.
22:40Right?
22:40This watch is broke.
22:50This watch is not
22:52broke.
22:53It's just that
22:54you don't know
22:54how to work it properly.
22:55Look, see,
22:56it tells you the time
22:56in all the major
22:57capital cities
22:57of the world.
22:58Yeah, look,
22:59everyone except London.
23:01Look,
23:02all I can tell by this
23:03is that it is nearly
23:04chucking out time
23:05in Peking
23:06and I am low
23:07on oxygen.
23:07What do you want
23:12for nothing?
23:12Jam on it?
23:14Tunnels.
23:15What did you say?
23:16No, he said that.
23:17Go on.
23:18Trigger said tunnels.
23:20He said they use
23:20that stuff
23:21to paint signs
23:22in tunnels.
23:23Well, how can you
23:24see a sign
23:25in a tunnel?
23:26It's black,
23:27isn't it?
23:27No, this is
23:28luminous paint.
23:31That's luminous,
23:32granddad.
23:32That means you can
23:33see in the luminous!
23:36Bloody luminous!
23:37What do you mean
23:39you thought I knew?
23:40You didn't tell me.
23:40What do you think
23:41I am?
23:41Physical or something?
23:42Do you want it?
23:44Want it?
23:44No, I don't want it.
23:45You can stick it up,
23:46you...
23:46I'm not in,
23:48granddad.
23:51Hello?
23:53Oh, hello,
23:55Mr. Chin.
23:57No, no,
23:58Del's gone out.
24:00I'm not sure.
24:02Where are you
24:02going to,
24:03Del?
24:03Give it to me.
24:11The old git.
24:12Now, sit down
24:12before I knock you
24:13down.
24:17Hello?
24:17Hello there,
24:18Mr. Chin.
24:18How are you?
24:20Don't you
24:20hello, Mr. Chin me.
24:22Huh?
24:24What have you
24:25talked about?
24:26What?
24:33Glowing,
24:34are they?
24:36Mm-hmm.
24:37Now, listen,
24:37tell them not to be
24:38frightened,
24:39because this is
24:39a new energy-saving
24:41paint we're using.
24:42Yeah?
24:43It's designed to cut
24:43down on the old
24:44electricity bills.
24:45Yeah, I'll get it
24:46from this contact in,
24:47um...
24:47Stockholm.
24:48Stock.
24:49Stockholm?
24:49Stockholm, oh, yeah.
24:50Yeah, because you see,
24:51the Norwegians,
24:52they, uh,
24:52lead the world
24:53in paint technology.
24:55Yeah.
24:57Yes?
24:58Yes, I understand, right?
25:00Be around to see
25:01your first thing
25:01in the morning.
25:05Does he want
25:05his money back?
25:07No, he wants you
25:08to go around tomorrow
25:09and do it out
25:09his living room in it.
25:12I'll have that
25:12other box of paint
25:13off you.
25:14Oh, my God!
25:15There's something wrong,
25:15Del.
25:16What have I done?
25:21It's all your fault.
25:23It's your fault,
25:24you and your
25:25stupid paint!
25:26Oi, what have you done?
25:27Hey, now, listen,
25:28Rodney, now, listen,
25:29now, you've got to
25:29understand, right,
25:30that I did it
25:31in good faith.
25:32Did what in good faith?
25:35I'll show you.
25:42Come on,
25:43you'd better get
25:43your coats.
25:46Dale, what have you
25:57brought us here for?
25:58Wait a minute.
25:59take a look at that.
26:17Oh, my good God.
26:19Is this where you've been
26:25for the past couple of days?
26:27Painting Mum's monument?
26:29It was her favourite colour
26:30and we both agreed
26:31it needed brightening up.
26:34Looks more like
26:34a rocket launch.
26:37Well, I didn't know
26:38it was going to be luminous,
26:39did I?
26:40Do you realise
26:41our Mum's grave
26:43is now going to become
26:44a beacon
26:44for every Satanist
26:46and acid-head
26:46in England?
26:47There's going to be
26:48white witches
26:49dancing round that
26:50on a full moon.
26:51There's going to be
26:52chickens' blood
26:53everywhere.
26:54What worries me,
26:55it's on the main
26:56flight path
26:57to Heath Road.
27:03I wish you two
27:04could see yourselves.
27:06Here's Mum
27:07and her monument.
27:08She's fast asleep,
27:09the third coat's
27:10hardly dry
27:10and already a-quivering
27:11in your shoes.
27:12Well, I'll tell you
27:14this much.
27:15I don't regret
27:15that I did it
27:16and I will not
27:17bow my head
27:18to any snotty-nosed
27:19town hall clerks
27:20and their narrow-minded
27:21rules.
27:22I shall look them
27:22straight in the face
27:23and I'll say,
27:24I am the man
27:25that's responsible
27:26and I'm proud of it.
27:34We'll put it down
27:35to vandals.
27:36Take that out of me
27:37before we get
27:38our collars out.
27:39We've got some
27:45off-priced black ties
27:47and arms and arms
27:47a couple of ties
27:48TVs, beef foods
27:50and David Bowie
27:51opens, food booms,
27:52gold tunes,
27:53whistling to never push
27:54and Trevor Pants
27:55with tracksuits
27:56from a mission
27:57Shepherds Bush.
27:57Push, push, push, push, push, push.
28:00No income tax,
28:02no VAT,
28:03no money back,
28:05no guarantee.
28:06Back or white,
28:08get your book
28:09and we've got prices
28:11and a stroke.
28:14God bless
28:15Rookie Street
28:17We love
28:19Rookie Street
28:20Long live
28:22Rookie Street
28:23Same and defeat
28:25Rookie Street
28:26Nine and defeat
28:28Rookie Street
28:29Rookie Street
28:33Rookie Street
28:36Rookie Street
28:37Rookie Street
28:44Rookie Street
Recommended
24:43
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