- 2 days ago
Tv, Only Fools And Horses S05E04 - Tea For Three.
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00:00Stick a bunny in me pocket
00:06I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:10Cause if you are the pesters
00:13But you don't ask questions
00:15Then brother, I'm your man
00:18Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:22It's like the changing of the seasons
00:24And the tides of the sea
00:26But is the one what's driving me berserk
00:29Why do only fools and horses work
00:33La-la-la-la
00:35La-la-la-la-la
00:37La-la-la-la
00:39I did it
00:42Highway
00:45Excuse me, Michael.
00:49Give us that.
00:50Oh, blimey, Michael. Give us that.
00:52All right, Dave?
00:54Oh, yeah, I like it.
00:56Looks like rain, doesn't it?
00:57Yeah, tastes like it and all.
00:58Boy, I bloody heard that trigger.
01:01I'll have you know my beer's just one second prize in the brewery's content.
01:04Yes, that's right. He was narrowly beaten by the Metropolitan Water Board.
01:08He was narrowly beaten by the Metropolitan Water Board.
01:11You see, Trigg, you see, they sell water, you know, and Mike, he sells the next...
01:17What do you want?
01:18What is it? What is it, Albert?
01:19Now, brace yourself, boys.
01:21I just got a bit of bad news.
01:23Yeah?
01:24Your Aunt Ada's been rushed into hospital.
01:26It's in a bad way, by all accounts.
01:28No, that's a shame, isn't it?
01:30You're a choker.
01:32Who's Aunt Ada?
01:33The Bournemouth, I know.
01:36She's been right.
01:37Oh!
01:38Yeah, but you haven't seen her for ages, have you?
01:40No, and she said to the rest of the family, if she ever saw you again, she'd kill you.
01:44Yeah.
01:44Oh, but she was annoyed when she said that.
01:47You see, it's like a chapter of my life is coming to a close.
01:51Yeah, I know.
01:51Just think how she feels, though, eh?
01:53Yeah, well, that's it, you see, son.
01:55I don't know.
01:57I'd like to go and visit her and find out.
01:59Oh, I don't know.
02:01Well, she might not be as ill as they say.
02:07He's really in the dumps, isn't he?
02:08I know. What can you do, eh? Still.
02:10There you go.
02:11Oh, sorry, darling.
02:12I'll tell you what we can do.
02:13Why don't we take him down a chinky, you know, cheer him up, my brothers?
02:16You want to come up with us, Trigg?
02:16No, I ain't sure, Dill.
02:18My niece will be here in a minute.
02:19She's come up from the country for a few days.
02:21Oh, yeah.
02:21You remember little Lisa, don't you?
02:23Lisa?
02:23Yeah, oh, your sister's good.
02:25Yeah, I remember her.
02:26I'd better see what she fancies doing.
02:28Listen, I'm going to have a chat with Albert.
02:30Jolly him up a bit.
02:31Oh, jolly him up.
02:33Thanks, Trigg.
02:33You're about, yeah.
02:35I remember Lisa.
02:36Scrappy little mare, weren't she?
02:38She had more candlesticks than Liberacea.
02:40Yeah, that's her.
02:41Yeah.
02:42I remember her mum, no?
02:43She was a fair sort, yeah.
02:45Peek ugly, but a fair sort.
02:47Yeah.
02:48I nicknamed her Miss 999, you know, because I only phoned her in an emergency.
02:54Yeah.
02:55Let's see if we can do a bit of business here.
02:56Michael.
02:57Mike.
02:58Just a moment, Mike.
02:59Can I?
03:00Can I, um...
03:01Mike, could I...
03:03Oi, shut up, will you?
03:04I've got my money in myself, think over here.
03:07No, I don't think I can take it.
03:09Well, she won't be disqualified.
03:10It makes the phone break.
03:12Oi, what's all the honouring about?
03:14Well, I don't know.
03:14I just told her to shut up.
03:16Anyway, listen, Mike, while you're over here, now listen to me.
03:18I've got a beautiful ultraviolet sunbed back at the flat.
03:21Now, they retail normally at $3.75.
03:23It's yours for $1.20.
03:25Just think of it, eh?
03:27Your own personal home salarium?
03:28I don't want it.
03:31Oh, I can see that you're in two minds.
03:33So, I'll tell you what I've got.
03:34I have here a super deluxe modern plug-in type telephone,
03:38and I'm going to give it to you free with your home salarium.
03:41I can't say fairer than that, because this is me last one.
03:44I don't want it.
03:45I'll chuck in an extension.
03:47I don't want it.
03:49Yes or no?
03:52Just a minute, I'll do you a favour.
03:54Just a...
03:54I nearly had him then.
03:56Oh, yeah, I could see he was waiting in you.
04:00Did you want to stop in here for another one?
04:02Now, here, honey, come on, Roddy.
04:04He's going over.
04:05Look, that bird over there's giving me the right hump.
04:08Oi, shut up!
04:09Oh, yeah, bitch!
04:10Del, he's leaving us here.
04:12No, no, we haven't got time.
04:13Say hello for us, will you?
04:14Come on, Roddy.
04:14Let's get going.
04:15Hello, Del!
04:16Hello, darling.
04:18My scruffy.
04:20My scruffy.
04:20Yeah.
04:22That scruffy little mare with a funny twos, is he?
04:26Yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:26I expect things to do, yeah.
04:28What the hell?
04:30What, are you up there, are you up?
04:32No, no, no, no.
04:33I think I'll stop another one.
04:36Are you going to go down a cheeky mongle over there?
04:38No.
04:39No.
04:39No.
04:40Fancy it.
04:41You got that one there.
04:42No.
04:43No.
04:45Well, help me, buddy.
04:47Come on, help me.
04:47Oh, yeah, it's off.
04:48Here's a pound down there.
04:49Look, there.
04:50Hello, darling.
04:53Hello, Del.
04:54Oh, it's been such a long time.
04:55Do you have any coins?
04:56You've got big, eh?
04:58Oh, no, I mean, until you've grown up big.
05:00Well, I'm 25 now.
05:01You're not, honey.
05:01Are you really?
05:02Hi, Lisa.
05:03Hello.
05:05How are you?
05:06Oh, I'm fine.
05:07I'm really good.
05:08Oh, that's nice.
05:08Who is it?
05:09Hey?
05:10Oh, him, that's little Rodney.
05:12Don't you remember little Rodney?
05:13He used to play with him.
05:14Oh, of course.
05:15You've changed.
05:16So have you.
05:17Yeah, I say she has changed.
05:19She call you a big girl.
05:20Why don't we go and sit down over there and have a little chat?
05:22I'll see you later on, dear.
05:23No, no, I'll come with you.
05:24I'll come with you.
05:26Sorry.
05:27You're off down here.
05:28That's nice.
05:29That's good.
05:29Do you remember the old...
05:30Thank you, Rodney.
05:33Oh, yeah.
05:34It's lovely seeing you two again.
05:36You know, I always remember that day.
05:38Oh, it was years and years ago.
05:39You drove round to me, Nanzales, in a brand new free will found.
05:43Did I?
05:43Oh, I remember in Santa Uncle Trigg.
05:45This time next year, it'll be a Mercedes.
05:47I was so impressed.
05:48Did you ever get the Mercedes?
05:49No, no, I went off them.
05:54I've got a nice little two-seater now.
05:56Two seats, three wheels.
05:57It's the same van, isn't it?
06:00That's right.
06:01I let Rodney borrow it sometimes when he behaves himself because he can't afford a car of his own.
06:06I mean, what kid can of his age, then, eh?
06:09So, you're living down in the country, then, eh?
06:12Just outside Winchester.
06:13Oh.
06:14You're still living in the same place?
06:15Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're still there, huh?
06:18Yeah.
06:18Listen, you know, before you go home, you ought to come round to the flat, you know, and we
06:22can have a chat about old times, and, you know, you can stay for tea.
06:25Oh, thanks, I'd love to.
06:27I was going to invite you for tea, I know.
06:29How about tomorrow night?
06:31Well, I guess tomorrow's fine by me, sweetheart, yeah.
06:36I invited Lisa for tomorrow night.
06:38Yes, I know you did, Rodney, but don't forget, I did invite Lisa first, you see.
06:42Derek, you clearly heard me invite Lisa for tea.
06:44I know, I invited her first, though, Rodney.
06:46Shh, shh, shh, shh, look, why don't we all have tea together?
06:49Then the three of us can talk about the old times.
06:51Well, yeah, yeah.
06:53Oh, good.
06:54Yeah, it's great.
06:55All right, up to a long one-half hour under there.
06:57Yeah, these ultraviolet rays contain vitamin E, do they?
07:01I read somewhere that vitamin E's good for an hangover.
07:10Oh, yeah, well, you made a right berk of yourself at that talent contest, didn't you?
07:14I was getting up on stage singing that stupid song.
07:17What are you on about?
07:18I won.
07:19You won?
07:21Well, the only one in the talent contest.
07:23Who did?
07:24Roy Orbison, yeah.
07:28Must have been a sympathy vote.
07:29Well, anyway, I've got all the grub in for me and Lisa's tea tonight.
07:34Yes, well, I've made a contribution, too.
07:36Oh, have you?
07:37Well, I got chicken italiano, fruit salad and dream topping to follow.
07:44What have you bought?
07:47Cheese.
07:49Cheese.
07:51Cheese!
07:51Well, it's a good job I bought all this grub, then, isn't it, eh?
07:53Because it was left up to you, the poor little cow.
07:55I'd be down for Welsh rabbit.
07:57Well, if you put your hands in your pocket every so often...
07:59Listen, I don't want the money in this, man.
08:01I don't want to pack it in.
08:04God, you look like a geriatric ball boy.
08:09You two were niggling each other last night.
08:11You've been bickering all the morning.
08:13I'm fed up with you.
08:14I'm going down to leisure.
08:16Anyway, I'd better go and make sure we've got enough smashing for Lisa's tea.
08:19Right.
08:20I'm going to have a quick tone-up, a nice shower, and I am sorted.
08:25Hey, how'd you turn this thing on for half an hour?
08:28On the end there.
08:30All right, got it.
08:31Ooh.
08:31Oh, this is lovely.
08:37Listen to me, Rodney.
08:39I told you once, you remember, that Granddad and I didn't speak to each other for years.
08:43Yeah.
08:44Well, that was all over a woman.
08:46It was your Aunt Ada.
08:47You're not going to sing again, are you?
08:49Well, I remember me and your Granddad, we were just like you and Del Boy.
08:54Yeah.
08:55We weren't just brothers, we was mates.
08:58We went everywhere together.
08:59Got up with some right capers.
09:01Yeah.
09:02And one night, we met Ada at the local Pally.
09:06She was a beautiful woman.
09:08Bit like Ginger Rogers.
09:11Last time I saw her, she looked more like Fred Astaire.
09:15Well, we both had a couple of dances with her,
09:17and then we both wanted to take her home.
09:20We ended up fighting in the street over her.
09:23He never spoke to me from that day, though.
09:27He never spoke to me ever again.
09:30I'm frightened history's going to repeat itself.
09:33I don't want to see that happen to you and Del.
09:38Rodney?
09:40Bloody kids.
09:42All right, Rodney, I'm going to whip down the shops
09:44and get another packet of smash and some brew.
09:46So, I want you to...
09:48Rod?
09:52Oh, he's gone to sleep.
09:54Bless him.
09:57So, you want to get a nice tan for the girl, then, do you?
10:02I'll give you a nice tan, all right?
10:03Oh, not too much.
10:13I've got to be up early in the morning.
10:14It's all right.
10:15A little topperoonie, eh?
10:16There we go.
10:17Come on, Rodney.
10:18Wait, come on.
10:19Bring your cheese.
10:21Oh, I really think Rodney should go to hospital with his face.
10:24Yeah, I know.
10:24I've been telling him that for years.
10:25Oh.
10:44Does your face hurt?
10:46Only when I smile.
10:49Listen, Rodney, I wouldn't stand about in that suit too long if I were you.
10:52Not with your head.
10:53Why not?
10:54Well, he looks like a swan vester.
10:58It's not better.
11:01How's your mum these days, Lisa?
11:03Oh, she's fine, thank you.
11:05Good.
11:06Did you know that years and years and years and years ago,
11:10Adele used to take your mum out?
11:11Oh, I didn't know that.
11:13Yeah, yeah.
11:13No, we only were just little tiny kids then.
11:16What was it you nicknamed, Adele?
11:18Um, it was, uh, the Rose of Peckham.
11:22Oh, my mum, I can't wait to tell her.
11:24Well, that's funny, because he told me in the car.
11:26Ah, Lisa, I don't know.
11:27Um, do you like going to the flicks?
11:30Oh, the cinema?
11:31Yeah.
11:31Oh, yeah.
11:32Have you seen An Officer and a Gentleman?
11:34Oh, yeah.
11:35Yeah.
11:36Oh, that Richard Gere is he fadier than Richard.
11:39I love the stuff he wears, too.
11:40You know, it's great, yeah.
11:41Oh, he was wearing his uniform.
11:42Oh, I went all goose pimply.
11:44Do you know, there definitely is something about a man in a uniform.
11:47Yeah, well, of course, you take after your mum there,
11:49because she used to go out with this geezer from the gas pool.
11:53I, uh, I used to be in the army.
11:55Oh.
11:57Well, cadets.
11:59I used to be a paratrooper.
12:01Really?
12:02Didn't I, Rodney?
12:04You made a few drops in your time, Bill.
12:07Oh, I don't know, you could do it.
12:09You know, I've got these friends back home who belong to a hand-gliding club.
12:12Oh, hand-gliding?
12:12Oh, well, I love all that.
12:13Yeah, well, they're always asking me to try,
12:15but the thought of it just terrifies me.
12:17Yeah, well, there's nothing to it, no.
12:19I used to free-fall from 20,000 feet.
12:21No.
12:21Yeah, didn't used to open my chute till I saw the tops of the trees.
12:24Oh, God.
12:26At night.
12:29You also had your feet tied together and a hand over one eye, didn't you?
12:34One night, my chute didn't open at all.
12:36Well, what happened?
12:37Well, I had a bad landing.
12:39But fortunately, they teach her how to fall properly, so it was all right.
12:42You know, it's funny, but I've always imagined paratroopers to be, well, taller.
12:47Yeah, well, he used to be six foot one, but like he said, he had a bad landing.
12:50Thank you very much, Rodney, for your observations.
12:56Get out in the kitchen, put the kettle on, will you?
12:58No, no, I've got to be going.
13:00No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, listen.
13:01Oh, well, look, I'll walk you home, eh?
13:03No, no, no, no, Rodney, you can't do that.
13:05You can't stand around on street corners with your face.
13:07The traffic will be waiting for you to change to green.
13:11Listen, no, no, I'll give you a lift home.
13:13Oh, that's nice of you, Dad.
13:15Ah, latte, c'est ce moi, as the French would say.
13:18What else could I do for a charming lady?
13:20Why, thank you, kind Dad.
13:22Not at all.
13:22I'll just go and get the keys, shall I?
13:25All right?
13:26I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.
13:28Well, it's been really nice seeing you again after all this time.
13:34Oh, I've enjoyed it so much, you know, shopping and meeting old friends.
13:37Yeah.
13:38What time are you off tomorrow?
13:39Oh, I get the ten o'clock train from Waterloo.
13:41I've got to be back by twelve.
13:42I'm meeting those friends I was telling you about.
13:44What, the hang gliders?
13:46I'll just get me jacket.
13:46Yeah.
13:51Um, I don't mean they'll drive you home tomorrow.
13:54Oh, I couldn't ask you to do that.
13:56Oh, no, no, we'd like it, we'd have a nice day in the country.
13:59Del would jump at the chance.
14:02And I was thinking, it's Del's forty-sixth birthday soon,
14:06and I'd love to give him a real surprise.
14:09Do you know what his ambition is?
14:11What?
14:12To hang glides.
14:16You know, being the old ex-paratrooper, it's only natural, innit?
14:21So, do you reckon your mate's going to arrange for him to have a little flight?
14:24No problem, they'd be delighted.
14:27Oh, that'd be great.
14:30Oh, I can't wait to see his little face.
14:32It'll be our little secret, though, eh?
14:34Sure, I'll be back.
14:35Yeah.
14:38Yes, I can't wait to see his little face.
14:43What?
14:43You want me to go up in one of them wing things?
14:49But, no, no, it's all right, not today, darling.
14:52No, you see, I'm not in the mood.
14:54You can't wait to get up there, can you?
14:55I can see it in your eyes.
14:57Really?
14:58Andy, come over and meet some friends of mine.
15:05I'd like you to meet Del and Rodney.
15:07Oh, nice to meet you.
15:08What, you say, hon?
15:08Hi, are you okay?
15:14Sorry, it's just to look sort of flushed.
15:17No, no, it's all right.
15:18It's just that his great-granddad was a Comanche.
15:23Well, Lisa tells me you used to be a paratrooper.
15:27Yeah, well, yeah, yeah.
15:29Well, it's many, many years ago now, like, not me.
15:32Well, I've done a bit of free-falling myself.
15:34Nothing in your calibre, of course, but it was great fun.
15:37Yes, terrific.
15:40Well, whenever you're ready, Doc.
15:41Eh?
15:42Hmm?
15:43Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's all right.
15:44Don't want to spoil your fun, Andy.
15:46No, that's all right.
15:46I'll stay, I'll stay here, you know, and just watch, eh?
15:49All right?
15:49Listen to me, Derek Trotter.
15:51I've arranged all this specially for you.
15:53Eh?
15:53It's my way of saying thank you for the lovely meal last night.
15:56I wish you could have seen it, Andy.
15:58Yeah?
15:58Hang around, then you might.
16:02It's a pleasure.
16:03Oh, no, no, no, it's a pleasure.
16:05And we've got some great thermals today.
16:07Thermals?
16:08Oh, what a shame, I'm just wearing me ordinary white front.
16:11No, no, thermals.
16:13You know, warm air.
16:15It's just having you on.
16:17Oh, I see.
16:20We'll get everything ready, then.
16:21Yeah.
16:22Yeah, okay.
16:26What am I going to do?
16:28Oh, no.
16:29Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
16:33Oh, and pickle.
16:35I mean, really, it's a bit of a shame you ever said you was a paratrooper.
16:39I wish I'd kept my bloody mouth shut.
16:41What's that Andy want to go and stick his oochie in my affairs for, then, eh?
16:44Eh?
16:44Well, he thinks he's doing you a favour, doesn't he?
16:47I'm going to land him a doughboy right round the lug hole before he's much older.
16:50What am I going to do, Rodney, eh?
16:56I can't tell him I'm scared, can I, eh?
16:58No.
16:59No, you make yourself look a right dipstick in front of everyone, can't you?
17:05You don't fancy having a little fly, then?
17:07No, I do not.
17:09I prefer to keep my feet firmly on the old terracotta.
17:13I'll tell him I'm not feeling very well.
17:16Eh, you can't do that.
17:18A green beret with an headache.
17:20It's probably a problem you're going to have to work out on your own, Del, isn't it?
17:29Listen, Rodney, now listen to me.
17:30I know that we haven't been seeing eye to eye in the last few days,
17:33but, I mean, listen to me, we are brothers after all, aren't we?
17:35I mean, it's blood, isn't it, eh?
17:36It's like Uncle Albert said, he said,
17:37brothers shouldn't fall out over a woman, didn't it, eh?
17:41Come on, you reckon, eh?
17:42Come on, Rodney, eh?
17:44You're right, Del.
17:45No, you're right.
17:46I mean, stupid arguing, isn't it?
17:47You mean, this is...
17:48Come on, eh?
17:49Yeah.
17:50Yeah, I thought...
17:51You know it makes sense, don't you, eh?
17:54Good boy.
17:55Now, come on.
17:56Help me out of this mess, Rodney, please.
17:58Come on, any ideas, anything?
17:59All right, yeah, all right, all right, all right.
18:01We'll just have a look at the problems, right?
18:02Yeah.
18:02On the one hand, right, you don't want to fly.
18:05Oh, no.
18:06No, no, that's all right.
18:07So, on the other hand, you want to keep your pride intact.
18:10Of course I don't.
18:10Yeah, let me straight.
18:11Right, right, right, I've got it.
18:14Right.
18:15You pretend to be dead keen to get up in them old clouds, right?
18:19Yeah.
18:19Right, and you put on all the gear and put yourself in the, you know, glider thing, right?
18:24Then at the last minute, I come over from the van, rushing up, right, and say,
18:28we've had an urgent call come through on our car phone.
18:32Yeah.
18:35Oh, it's real.
18:36It's real, isn't it, eh?
18:37We ain't got a car phone, have we, Dopey?
18:39We ain't even got a ruddy car, look.
18:46Who's going to know any different, eh?
18:49And then I say you've got to rush back to London immediately, right?
18:54And you act all disappointed.
18:55You go, oh, no, but what can you do?
18:57You act, you act, and then we're in the van and we're away.
19:01Yeah, good boy.
19:02Good boy.
19:03Well done, ruddy.
19:04Well done.
19:06Listen, now, wait a minute.
19:07You aren't going to stay here, though, aren't you?
19:08No, no, I'll be right here, mate.
19:09Good boy, good boy.
19:11Hang on.
19:12Hey, Andy, come on then, hurry up.
19:15I'm getting a bit impatient to be off, aren't I?
19:18He don't know, does he?
19:27Oh, yeah, beautiful, darling.
19:30Beautiful, yeah.
19:31Now, you remember everything I told you about controlling the glider?
19:33Yeah, don't worry, Andy.
19:34It's all up there, down there, we're dancing.
19:36Oh.
19:43What do you reckon?
19:44All the firm rules and all that all right up there, Andy?
19:46Oh, no, no.
19:47It's one of the best days of the year.
19:48Yeah, that's exactly what I thought.
19:50Whenever you're ready, doll.
19:51Oh, right, cushy, cushy.
19:57Just switched on?
19:58Yeah, it's all working, yeah.
20:09Is that our phone I can hear ringing, Rodney?
20:13Eh?
20:21I said, is that our phone I can hear ringing?
20:26No.
20:28Are you sure?
20:31Yeah.
20:34We ain't got a car phone.
20:45Get up as high as you can, Dale, eh?
20:49You might get a tan.
20:51I'll look at you for this, Rodney.
20:55Just see if I don't.
21:00Where are you going, Dale?
21:03Yeah.
21:05Yeah, I'm going.
21:07Oh, my God, oh, bloody hell.
21:09Oh, bloody hell.
21:10Oh, bloody hell.
21:11Oh, ho!
21:19Oh.
21:21I think they do this for fun.
21:24Oh, God.
21:27Please, God, please let me get back down.
21:29Please, God, let me get down from the inside.
21:32Oh, oh, oh.
21:34What's he doing?
21:36Well, where's he going?
21:38I told him to stay close to the ridge.
21:40What?
21:40What's over there?
21:41Well, he's heading out to sea.
21:47Get that down, yeah.
21:51He's been missing for 12 hours.
21:5612 hours, that's nearly half a day.
21:58I don't know.
21:59I've got a GCE in maths, haven't I?
22:06Shall I answer it, son?
22:08Yes, please.
22:16Albert.
22:17Hi, Trig.
22:18What's your day?
22:18Hi, Trig.
22:20You all right?
22:22Yeah, I'm fine.
22:23This is nothing.
22:25Have they found him?
22:27Yeah.
22:28They found him, Dave.
22:30Um, where?
22:32He crashed into a television transmitter in Red Hill.
22:37They rushed him to the local hospital.
22:40X-rays and that.
22:42They tried to phone his next of kin,
22:44but they couldn't get through.
22:46So they found a pub.
22:48Me and Mike got a cab out there.
22:50We'll see you for the fare, son.
22:52No, that's all right.
22:52We've got a green line back.
22:54What happened?
22:57Has he broken anything?
22:59Well, they reckon the aerial's beyond repair.
23:05No, no.
23:06I mean, I mean, Dale.
23:07How's Dale?
23:09You'd better ask him yourself, Dave.
23:16See, you got home safely then, Rodney.
23:21Yeah.
23:24Are you all right, Dale?
23:25Is he winding me up or not?
23:28No, no, no.
23:29He's just a bit concerned, that's all, Dale.
23:32Yeah.
23:32Ah.
23:34Here.
23:34Are you all right?
23:36I'm fine.
23:37So what did the hospital say, son?
23:40He said...
23:41He said I may never walk again.
23:45Rodney,
23:46Rodney, my brother,
23:48I know that in your heart of hearts
23:51you're never meant to disable me
23:52and I just
23:53want you to know
23:55that I won't hold it against you.
23:58All right.
23:58All right, what I meant was
24:08I'm sorry I let you lay under our
24:11home's solarium all that time
24:14and made you go a bit red.
24:16I suppose...
24:18All right, this is my punishment, isn't it?
24:20Spend the rest of my life
24:22in this wheelchair.
24:24Still, could have been worse, Dale.
24:26How?
24:29My gran had one
24:30with a squeaky wheel.
24:36This is all a bit sick, innit?
24:39I mean, you might fall these free
24:40but not me, bruv.
24:41What do you mean, Rodney?
24:43Oh, come off it, Dale.
24:44Two pina coladas
24:45then you'll put on your
24:46Eric Clapton LP
24:47you'll be up and jiving, won't you?
24:49I don't believe this.
24:50I don't believe what he's doing to me.
24:51He's torn my world in half
24:52and now he's having a pop at me.
24:54You're right out of order, son, right?
24:56Listen to me.
24:57Hospitals do not send home
24:58paralysed people via bus.
25:04What is it you were after, Dale, eh?
25:06A sympathy from Lisa
25:08or a disabled sticker for the van, eh?
25:10Listen...
25:11You listen to me,
25:14you vicious little git.
25:15I may never walk again
25:16for the rest of...
25:18although I must admit
25:23I'm getting some feeling back.
25:27You should never tell them
25:28sort of lies, Dale.
25:29You made us go all the way
25:31to Redhill
25:31and there's nothing wrong with you.
25:32Well, don't blame me.
25:33It was him.
25:34I just wanted to get my own
25:34back on this blonde car.
25:36Yeah, but when you fancied
25:37a smoke on a bus,
25:38you made me carry you
25:39up to the top deck.
25:40Oh, no, don't blame me.
25:44Don't blame me, Trix.
25:44Just blame him.
25:45Him, Ethan.
25:46Rodney, I was up there
25:47three hours,
25:47three bloody hours.
25:49I did loop the loop
25:50over Dimchurch.
25:53Yeah, little kids
25:54were shouting at me,
25:55there goes a spaceman,
25:56a spaceman.
25:59Finally,
26:00just when I'd given up hope,
26:01I cluttered into
26:02an aerial thing
26:03and fell 50 foot
26:04to the ground.
26:05It was only by the
26:06grace of God
26:07that I landed
26:08on something soft.
26:09Yeah, I noticed
26:09the bruising round you ate.
26:10No, it was not my head.
26:13I landed on a very
26:14unfortunate
26:15and very unsuspecting
26:17courting couple.
26:19You're kidding.
26:20No, I wish I was.
26:22Due to your vicious mind
26:24and general walliness,
26:27they have had to put
26:27their wedding back
26:28six months.
26:30And I've had to pay
26:31for a new sunroof
26:32in their Sierra.
26:34And that's regardless
26:35of what Radio Wendels
26:36are going to do me
26:37440, Ariel.
26:40Would it help
26:41if I said I'm sorry?
26:42No, it would not.
26:44Talking of weddings,
26:46that reminds me,
26:47Lisa's invited you
26:48to hers.
26:49Well, that's all I need,
26:50isn't it, eh?
26:51It's another trip
26:51down at Beden-Hampst,
26:53yeah?
26:55Lisa's getting married?
26:57Yeah,
26:57in a couple of months.
26:59That's what she'd come up for,
27:00to buy herself
27:01a wedding dress
27:01in Oxford Street.
27:03Eh?
27:03Well, he said she's
27:04all a bit sudden,
27:05isn't he?
27:05No, she's been engaged
27:06for over a year.
27:07Some geezer called Andy.
27:09Oh, that is a bit
27:10of good news, Trink.
27:11Here, I'll tell you
27:12what I'll do.
27:12I'll open up the pub
27:13and we can have
27:13a little celebration drink.
27:15Nice one, Mike.
27:15You coming, Albert?
27:16Yeah, I'll be there, Sam.
27:17I suppose you two
27:18will be joining us.
27:28So she was engaged
27:30all the time.
27:30What a couple of wallies!
27:36No income tax, no VAT,
28:01No money back, no guarantee
28:04Black or white, rich or broke
28:07We'll cut prices and a straw
28:10God bless Hooky Street
28:15Viva Hooky Street
28:18Long live Hooky Street
28:21Say, Mindy Feek
28:23Hooky Street
28:24Mindy Feek
28:26Hooky Street
28:27Hooky Street
28:30Hooky Street
28:34Hooky Street
28:36Hooky Street
28:39Hooky Street
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