- 2 days ago
Tv, Only Fools And Horses S01E05 - A Slow Bus To Chingford.
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00:00Stick a bunny in me pocket
00:30Why do only fours and horses work?
00:33La la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la
00:46You see, I mean, to me, Janice, art, you know, art as an art, right, must by its very nature be self-indulgent, right?
00:59I mean, as I said to David Hockney once, the inherent element in all artistic projects should not be one of contemporary mass appeal, but rather one of personal symbolism.
01:11Don't you agree, Janice?
01:13I don't know, Rodney.
01:15Oh, well, you know, that's why I like talking to you. You're one of the few people who seems to understand me.
01:24My father Don paints, you know.
01:26Really?
01:27Yeah, for the council.
01:29Oh, no, that is cosmic, Janice. No, really. No, that is cosmic.
01:34That's probably why we have the same appreciation and understanding of true art.
01:39I mean, we have an affinity, an aesthetic bond.
01:42We are kindred spirits, Janice. Seekers of beauty in a broken, ugly world.
01:47Janice?
01:48Yes, Rodney?
01:49Get your bra off.
01:50I can't.
01:51Well, of course you can. You must live and be free.
01:52I can't, Rodney. I'm not wearing one.
01:54Oh.
01:55Well.
01:56Well.
01:57Oh, yeah.
01:58Well, not talking here, are we?
02:00Oh, put him down, Janice. Put him down. You don't know where he's been.
02:03I can't.
02:04I can't.
02:05Well, of course you can. You must live and be free.
02:07I can't, Rodney. I'm not wearing one.
02:08Oh.
02:09Well.
02:10Oh, yeah.
02:11Well, not talking here, are we?
02:14Oh, put him down, Janice. Put him down. You don't know where he's been.
02:23Oh, well, then. What have we got going on here?
02:26Oh, I'll have a drop of that. Thanks.
02:28Yeah, look, we don't want all this rubbish on, do we, eh?
02:31That's better.
02:32Yeah.
02:33Oi, Janice, you mind his bruises, won't you?
02:35What bruises?
02:36His bruises. He's covered in them.
02:38It's where the girls keep on pushing him away with ten-foot barge poles.
02:42Oh, dear, oh dear, that's better.
02:46You're in, are you, Dale?
02:48Yes, yes, I'm in, Rodders.
02:50Hope you've been behaving yourself.
02:52You know, remember what I told you, not to do it on your own doorstep.
02:55We've just been sitting here discussing art, that's all.
02:58Do you like art, Dale?
02:59Oh, yeah.
03:00Dale used to be cultural advisor to the Chelsea Shed.
03:03Yeah, I like art, Janice, I like art.
03:05You know, I'm a Renaissance man myself.
03:07You know, I like them pictures where the eyes follow you around the room.
03:11Last week, down the pie and eel shop, Dale shook the international art world to its very foundations by stating, quite openly, that Michelangelo was a Wally brain.
03:22Well, he was a Wally brain, wasn't he?
03:24Took him 12 years to paint one ceiling.
03:26God, that wouldn't do your brother Donald any good, would it, Janice, eh?
03:30Well, he's on bonus.
03:31I do not believe this, I'm going to wake up in a minute.
03:36Here, look, I'll tell you another thing while we're about it, and all.
03:38You know, some of those artists, you know, they're a bit sick if you ask me.
03:41What are you on about now?
03:42Well, look, take a look at this, right?
03:44Now, this is a statuette of the world-famous Venus the Milo, right?
03:49Yeah.
03:50Now, who but the sick of mind would do a sculpture of a disabled person?
03:56Am I right, Janice?
03:57It's a bit sick, isn't it?
03:59Yeah, you are, yeah.
04:00You weren't like that originally.
04:02No, no, no, this is the product of a twisted imagination, this, Rodney.
04:05Yeah, yeah, talking of twisted imaginations, are you still looking for a job?
04:09Well, what, in this country?
04:11Three million unemployed, what chance has Rodney gone?
04:13Well, with his big brother looking after him, he's got every chance in the world.
04:16Now, take one of your purple hearts, Rodney, because I've got a surprise coming for you.
04:20I have managed to secure for you a position with a newly formed security company.
04:25Now, they did want a man with previous experience, and as your last job was a milk monitor,
04:30I did have a bit of trouble persuading them.
04:33But, however, I have managed to swing it for you.
04:36Are you putting me on, Dale?
04:38No, definitely, I've got a job for you, Rodney.
04:40Hey, that's great, Dale.
04:42Yeah, that's all right.
04:43You will start off as a trainee NSO.
04:45No!
04:46Oh, yes, and who knows my son, you know.
04:48You know, use your old filbert, keep your nose clean, a couple of years time you could end up as a, well, I don't know, a senior NSO.
04:54Oh, I will, Dale. I won't let you down, son.
04:57What's an NSO?
04:59Oh, don't be a ghost, Janice.
05:02Yeah, dear.
05:03What's an NSO?
05:04I don't know they're born, some of them, do they?
05:06That's right.
05:07Tell her what an NSO is, Dale.
05:11NSO, Janice, is a nocturnal security officer.
05:16Yeah, you see, it's a nocturnal security officer.
05:19That doesn't have to sound like a night watchman, Dale.
05:22It's nothing like a night watchman.
05:24I mean, yeah, yeah, you will have to work at night.
05:27And will some of my duties include watching?
05:30No, they won't, no.
05:31I mean, all you'll have to do is you just have to, you know, you'll, you just have to, you...
05:38Keep an eye out, don't you?
05:40What is the name of this recently formed security company, then?
05:43Ah, well, you wouldn't have heard of them.
05:45Try me, Dale.
05:46Come on, let's have it.
05:49It's called...
05:51Trotter Watch.
05:53Trotter Watch?
05:55Yeah.
05:56That's you, innit?
05:57I'm working for you, innit?
05:58Yeah, you see, the way I see it, Rodney, is that crime is a growth industry.
06:01So I'm getting in while the going is good.
06:03It's a nice regular job.
06:05It's got a uniform.
06:06Good wages.
06:07How good.
06:08Oh, we'll talk about that later.
06:09First of all, let us try on your uniform, eh?
06:13There, come on, slip into it.
06:15There it is.
06:16Oh, look at that.
06:17Colour suits you, doesn't it, eh?
06:19Ahem.
06:20Yes.
06:21Look at that fit.
06:22Ahem.
06:23Oh, yeah.
06:24Deja vu.
06:25It's like it's made to measure, innit?
06:27Yeah.
06:28For someone else.
06:29Yeah.
06:30Oh, well, sleeves and that.
06:31Well, he'll grow into them.
06:32Don't worry about that.
06:33Here, let's have a look.
06:34That's it.
06:35TW.
06:36That's right.
06:37Trotter Watch.
06:38It could also stand for traffic warden, though.
06:41Traffic warden?
06:42Oh, yeah, because it could, yeah.
06:43Traffic warden.
06:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:45This is a traffic warden's uniform, innit?
06:46It is not a traffic warden's uniform.
06:48You've got me done up as a bloody traffic warden.
06:50Oh, God.
06:51You know what?
06:52It is once and for all.
06:53It is not a traffic warden's uniform.
06:55Now, just trust me, will ya?
06:57Put your cap on.
07:00Well?
07:01I look like a traffic warden.
07:02I look like a traffic warden who ain't been well.
07:05Oh, don't you look, you look stunning, Rodders.
07:10Oh, yeah, look at that.
07:11You're admitting authority all over the place.
07:14I'm not doing it, Del.
07:15I don't want a job.
07:16Oh, no, come on, Rodney.
07:17You've got to do it.
07:18You can't let me down.
07:19I gave them your word.
07:20Give who my word?
07:21Oh, the people down at the Tyler Street Bus and Coach Garage.
07:23That's where you're going to be based.
07:24No, I'm definitely not doing it, Del.
07:26Oh, well.
07:27Yeah, okay.
07:28Well, of course, if you're scared, you could admit it.
07:32Come on.
07:33Allemagne, dispoir.
07:35Janice will understand if your bottler's gone.
07:40No, he's scared.
07:42Must be joking.
07:44Ah, that's the spirit.
07:46Now, I want you down there nine o'clock tomorrow night.
07:48I'm a stickler for punctuality, all right?
07:51Now then, I'm going to bed.
07:53Oh!
07:54Yeah, by the way.
07:55Excuse me a minute, Janice.
07:56Sorry, Janice.
07:57You're, uh, bondage ropes.
07:58They're in the garage, all right?
08:00And the granddaddy's washed your whip and he's put it in the airing cupboard.
08:03I don't think it's shrunk.
08:06Well, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone and I shall just say a Buenos Aires.
08:15Janice!
08:16Janice!
08:17He was only...
08:20You rotten dick, Del!
08:22Well, I'll leave it all in your capable hands then, Rodders.
08:31Yeah.
08:32Cheers, Del.
08:33You realise this job's going to mess up my love life, don't you?
08:35Right?
08:36Why?
08:37Giving you every second Sunday off, ain't I?
08:38Yeah, but Janice is only going to be happy with that, is she?
08:41I mean, while I'm down here at night, she could be going out with someone else.
08:44Now, look, don't worry about that.
08:46What do you think I'm all dressed up for like this, eh?
08:50Taking Janice out for a meal.
08:52You're taking Janice out?
08:53Of course I am.
08:54For your sake.
08:55Otherwise, you might be going out with somebody else.
08:58Yeah.
09:01Yeah.
09:03Cheers, Del.
09:06But if she's...
09:07Why are you wearing plimsolls?
09:09What?
09:10You see, why are you wearing plimsolls?
09:14Don't you think they mar the overall symmetry of the uniform somewhat?
09:17No, I can run faster in these.
09:19I mean, give chase, you know, pursue and detain, sort of.
09:24No, nothing happens round here.
09:28Quiet as a grave.
09:31Well, I'll see you in the morning then, Rodders.
09:34Take care now.
09:36Yeah.
09:38Don't worry about me, Del.
09:40I'll be all right.
09:49Good work.
09:50Got you?
09:52Oh...
10:00Will you chop your teeth?
10:01Yeah.
10:03I'll be right back.
10:05I'll be right back.
10:06I'll be right back.
10:07I'm sorry I want your teeth for you.
10:08It's so good.
10:09It's all right.
10:10It's a lovely thing.
10:12I'm sorry.
10:13I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.
10:14It's all right.
10:15How do you make this?
10:16WHISTLE BLOWS
10:19Ah, there you are, Grandad.
10:37Here you go.
10:38Look at that, look at that.
10:40It's beautiful, isn't it? Beautiful.
10:42It's going to earn our fortunes, this is, Grandad.
10:44Come on, Rodney, it's ten to nine.
10:47I used to be a security officer, you know, before the war.
10:51Blimey, do you mean say that somebody actually trusted you with their property?
10:55It's like trusting a piranha fish with your finger.
11:00Or worse.
11:03Oh, yeah, it was a big warehouse over Kilburn Way.
11:07Stocked everything from bedroom suites to kiddies' toys.
11:11Well, this fellow used to work there, used to arrive every morning in a big, wolsey car,
11:18he wore a camel's hair overcoat, kid gloves,
11:22and he always carried a brand-new leather attache case,
11:27and he smoked expensive cigars.
11:30Well, call it intuition, if you like,
11:34but I was suspicious of him.
11:36Hey, and why?
11:37Well, we were only a sweeper-up.
11:42Well, how do you do it, Holmes?
11:47Anyhow, one night as he was leaving,
11:50I stopped him and I searched his attache case.
11:55It were empty.
11:56Still, unperturbed by this minor hiccup in my investigation,
12:01I stopped him and searched his attache case every night for an old year.
12:08Then he left.
12:10I wonder why.
12:12I don't remember.
12:14I think he claimed someone was victimising him.
12:18No unions in them days, see?
12:21No, well, this is it, isn't it, eh?
12:23Yeah.
12:24Anyway, a couple of weeks after he left,
12:27the auditors come.
12:29You know what they discovered?
12:31Mm-hmm.
12:31We was missing 348 attache case.
12:37What, you mean, you'd been searching the stolen gear?
12:41Yeah.
12:42And I got done for it.
12:45Fingerprints.
12:46Oh.
12:47There's a moral to this story, dear boy,
12:50but for the life of me, I can't find it.
12:53I don't think I'm going to bother to look either, Grandad.
12:57Hello, the son of the Bride of Dracula.
12:59Oh, here he is.
13:00What time is it?
13:01The time is nearly nine o'clock.
13:03Nine?
13:04Oh, I'm going to be late if I don't get a move on.
13:06No, no, it's all right, there's no worry.
13:08No, no, go on, no rush, sit down, take it easy.
13:10That's it, go on.
13:11Let me get you a cup of tea, all right?
13:12Oh, yeah.
13:13Here you go, then.
13:14You still taking my part with Janice?
13:15Yes.
13:16Don't worry, I won't let you down.
13:18Cheers, Dale.
13:19How am I doing?
13:20Very well.
13:21Very well.
13:22Yes.
13:23One more steak meal could crack it.
13:25Yeah?
13:26Mm.
13:26I haven't done this well with a girl for a long time.
13:29You're like me, Rodney.
13:31I never, ever found it easy to get girlfriends.
13:35I wonder why.
13:37Hey, it's still light out.
13:39It's broad daylight.
13:40Yeah, of course it would be, wouldn't it?
13:41Nine o'clock in the morning, what'd you expect?
13:43Nine o'clock in the morning?
13:45I thought it was nine at night.
13:46I've only been in bed 20 minutes.
13:47What are you waiting for?
13:49Sit down, sit down.
13:50It's all right.
13:51All right, don't exaggerate.
13:5320 minutes.
13:54Listen, I want to discuss something very important with you, see.
13:56What could be that important, eh?
13:58I haven't got Janice into trouble, have we?
14:01Don't be silly.
14:02At least I hope not.
14:03No.
14:03Listen, I want to talk to you, see.
14:07Now, this night security job of yours is merely a tiny part of my immaculate scheme.
14:13What immaculate scheme?
14:14The tourist trade, Rodney.
14:15The tourist trade.
14:17See, do you realise that over 2,000 tourists pour into London every day, and I happen to
14:21know, despite the fact that tourism has never been so high, the coach party trade is falling
14:25off.
14:26Now, why, you may ask?
14:27Yeah, why is that, Del?
14:29Well, since you ask, I will tell you, Rodney.
14:31The reason is, your average tourist gets fed up, don't you?
14:34You're seeing the same old places, like the Houses of Parliament, Buckhouse, the National
14:39Gallery.
14:40You know, once you've seen one Rubin's, you've seen them all.
14:43Now, this is where a dynamic person like me steps in.
14:47Wake up while your brother's being dynamic.
14:49Sorry.
14:49Go on.
14:50Yeah, right.
14:51You see, out there, Rodney, out there is a new, vibrant, exciting London awaiting to
14:57be discovered.
14:57Is there?
14:58Yeah.
14:59Of course there is.
15:00Ethnic London.
15:02Ethnic London?
15:03Yeah.
15:04Yes, you know, all those romantic places that you've only heard about in fairy tales.
15:09You know, the Lee Valley Viaduct.
15:11Right?
15:12The glow of Lower Edmonton at dusk.
15:16The excitement of a walkabout in Croydon.
15:20Yeah.
15:20Look what I've had printed.
15:23Oh, I don't believe this.
15:25Trotter's Ethnic Tours.
15:27What's all this squiggly stuff and the Chinese?
15:29The squiggly stuff, the squiggly.
15:31That is Arabic, isn't it?
15:32And the Chinese is Japanese.
15:33It's a well-known fact that 90% of all foreign tourists come from abroad.
15:37So, we've got to speak their lingo, ain't we?
15:40We?
15:40We're French.
15:41I like it.
15:42Already you're picking up the lingo, son.
15:44That is what I call enthusiasm, Rodney.
15:48I weren't speaking in French, Del.
15:50I meant, what do you mean, we?
15:51Well, us, you know, us, yeah, you know, because it's a family enterprise, isn't it?
15:55Grandaddy, grandaddy, he'll sell the programmes, I shall be the courier.
15:59And you, Rodney, you have got the best job of all, because you will drive the bus.
16:04Ding, ding, ding.
16:06Hold tight, everybody.
16:07Rodney's coming, eh?
16:09Be another wage, Rodney.
16:11I've already got a wage, Del.
16:12Yeah, but you can't afford to live on what I pay you, can you?
16:15I don't know, Del, how much you're paying me.
16:16Well, not a lot.
16:18Not a lot.
16:19So, you know, I can't afford to.
16:21See, well, I've done a deal, you see, with a bus garage.
16:25What happened was, I provided them with a night, well, no, no, no, nocturnal security operating fee.
16:31And they provide me with an open-top bus.
16:33That saves the exchange of any cash, you know, stops all the paperwork.
16:37End income tax.
16:37End income tax, yeah.
16:40Hey?
16:41Come on, what about it, Rodney?
16:43A lot of work and effort's gone into this enterprise.
16:46Eh?
16:46My granddad, he was uptown this morning at the crack of dawn,
16:50distributing all these leaflets to every hotel, boarding house and hostel he could find.
16:55Granddad, he believes in this scheme, don't you, granddad?
16:59Epic tours, it's the most stupidest thing I've ever heard of, see?
17:04Del, you can't expect me to work all night,
17:07then in the morning drive a busload of tourists round ethnic London.
17:11I've got to sleep, Del.
17:12My old body's crying out for sleep.
17:15Yeah, yeah.
17:17I'll tell you what I'll do.
17:18I'll get you some assistance at the garage, eh?
17:21And then you can have a kip.
17:22I'll get you an ex-police dog.
17:26An ex-police dog?
17:27Yeah.
17:28Now, do you fancy some breakfast?
17:30Oh, I wouldn't say no, Del.
17:31Good, great.
17:32Come on, then.
17:33Off we go.
17:33There you go, innit?
17:34While you're in there, make me a bacon sandwich, all right?
17:38Where are you going to get an ex-police dog from?
17:41I'll get him...
17:43I'll get him Nero.
17:45Who's Nero?
17:46Nero.
17:48Janice's corgi.
17:49We clearly stated on our leaflets that nine o'clock was departure time.
18:16Here we are, 11.30.
18:18No sign on them.
18:19I've told you before, no-one will turn up.
18:22Yes, they will.
18:24As soon as the word spreads about a bit, they'll be here in droves.
18:28Now, the only thing that worries me is, is a 59-seater bus going to be big enough?
18:32I mean, perhaps we should have had two, you know, maybe three.
18:34A tandem would be too big.
18:37Leave it out, will you?
18:38I'll bet you not one single tourist arrives.
18:43I'll bet you 50 quid they do.
18:45Right, 50 quid, you're on.
18:48Right, then.
18:48All right.
18:49Right.
18:49Right.
18:50Right.
18:51Right.
18:51Shut up, you two, will you?
18:54I didn't get a wink of sleep last night.
18:56Taking that rotten dog for walkies and what have you.
19:00It's a funny kind of police dog, that deal.
19:02It saw a cat and run a mile.
19:04Ah, well, cats aren't Nero's strong point.
19:08Show him a burglar and it becomes a tower of strength.
19:12Where's all these tourists, then?
19:14I thought we'd be having an ethnic look round Chingford by now.
19:18Don't worry, they'll be here.
19:21Shut up, you.
19:23What are you charging them for this tour, then?
19:2717 quid each.
19:2917 pounds for a walkabout in Croydon?
19:32Well, that includes lunch, doesn't it?
19:34Traditional British fare.
19:36Donner kebab, something like that.
19:38Donner kebab.
19:39For 17 nicker, I'd want Donna Summers.
19:42Well, you would, wouldn't you, you tightwad?
19:44Now, these tourists, they don't mind splashing out before they ain't getting value for money.
19:49Now, look at that.
19:50They'll snap these souvenirs of oldie London up, they will.
19:54Look at that.
19:55It's a snip, that is, out of five or a go.
19:57Almost alabaster, you know.
19:59You're going to sell them models of a Roman statue, now housed in the Louvre Gallery in Paris, for souvenirs of old London?
20:06It's the Venus de Milo, Del.
20:08No, that is Bodicea, that is, isn't it, eh?
20:12Bodicea rode round in a chariot with big swords sticking out the wheels.
20:17All right, so she fell off her chariot.
20:20You were just trying to rip them off, weren't you?
20:23Au contraire, Rodney.
20:24Au contraire.
20:26Oh, I don't want to leave them potless.
20:29I want them to have some money in their pockets.
20:31At least enough for us to have a tip.
20:33As a courier, what do you actually know about these obscure places you intend to drag them to?
20:39Oh, no.
20:41Nothing.
20:42At least twice as much as they know.
20:44Don't worry, I shall bluff them, Rodney.
20:46I shall use the old spiel.
20:47If they ask me any questions that I find a bit dodgy to answer, I shall just say, I can't understand their English.
20:53Huh?
20:54Don't worry.
20:54Be a doddle.
20:56I mean, today, I shall take them down to Shoreditch and show them the house where Sherlock Holmes was born.
21:06Sherlock Holmes was fictional.
21:08Was he?
21:09Oh, well, I'll just say his house got blown up during the war.
21:12Tomorrow, I shall take them to the summit of Mount Pleasant.
21:16The summit of Mount Pleasant?
21:19What's the matter with you, Grandad? Can't you stay at night or something?
21:21Mount Pleasant hasn't got a summit.
21:23All he's got is a big post office sorting depot.
21:29That's ethnic, isn't it, eh?
21:31We can give them a guided tour of the depot.
21:33You know, show them the workers getting the most from the post.
21:35I said, stay awake. If I was you, they'll be here and there are hundreds in a minute.
21:41I'll take them over to North London, you know, show them where Jack the Ripper was buried.
21:53No, but he knows where Jack the Ripper was buried.
21:55Well, they can't prove me wrong then, can they, eh?
21:57Shall we give them another five minutes and go, Bill?
22:03Yeah, all right.
22:04Take the bus back to the garage and you can begin your night shift, all right?
22:07Cheers, Bill.
22:08I want you back first thing in the morning, though.
22:11And don't forget to take Nero out so he can do his business.
22:14You really?
22:28Pint of lager, Rodney.
22:30I'd sold right out of Pina Coladas, Del, so I got your Mackieson instead.
22:36Good thinking.
22:38Yes, thank you, Grandad.
22:39What are you going to do if the tourists start asking about the history of places?
22:46I mean, say one of them wants to know how the Elephant and Castle got its name.
22:50Well, I'll just say, um, once upon a time, Richard the Lionheart, or Coeur de Lyon, as the French used to call him,
22:59which he did not like one little bit.
23:01See where a little bit of intimate knowledge goes a long way in impressing people?
23:05Well, I'll say that he had a castle situated roughly near a roundabout.
23:09Oh, say, uh, Hannibal and his elephants, they lay siege to the castle, and Bob's your uncle.
23:21Oh, across the Alps.
23:23Huh?
23:24I know, on his way to the castles.
23:27And the natives who had never seen an elephant, they were sorely afraid.
23:31And that is how it became known in that area as the Elephant and Castle.
23:38If they'd never seen an elephant before, how did they know it was an elephant?
23:43For God's sake, Grandad, an elephant's a bloody elephant, isn't it?
23:49I mean, you can't watch that.
23:51I mean, you can't look at an elephant and say, oh, no, we'll call this place the Cowan Castle.
23:55You can't do that, can you?
23:57But you're not telling them the truth, are you?
23:59The truth.
24:00The truth.
24:00You're so naive, Rodders.
24:03The truth is only relative to what you can earn from a lie.
24:07Einstein.
24:08I'll tell you one truth that you won't earn a brass farthing out of.
24:12No one's going to turn up.
24:14They will turn up.
24:16They've got to.
24:17This time next year, we'll be millionaires.
24:22You said that this time last year.
24:25No, you're eating, ain't you?
24:31No, I wanted to do this for years, Rodney.
24:34I always thought if we could make a success of it, that eventually we would go legit.
24:40You know, we would register the name Trotter's Independent Traders as a proper McCoy company.
24:48I have this dream.
24:50You and I own this skyscraper office block on the South Bank.
24:55We're standing on the balcony in a penthouse suite with a couple of sorts.
24:59Braless, Gabrielle, Bianca.
25:05Braless, but with class.
25:08Yeah, did you know your genus doesn't wear a bra?
25:10Yeah, I know.
25:10Oh, you know.
25:12We're in a penthouse full of rubber plants and pine tongue and groove and we're sipping red drinks.
25:20And above us, on top of the skyscraper, in 50-foot-high neon lettering, are the initials of Trotter's Independent Traders.
25:30Good, isn't it, eh?
25:32Terrific, Del.
25:33Yeah.
25:34No, they've got to come.
25:36My dream starts the way every success starts.
25:39Got a great big rip-off.
25:41Del, Grandad's right.
25:43No one's going to turn up.
25:44Yes, they will.
25:45You wait and see.
25:46I think that dream of yours contains a subliminal message.
25:51Yeah.
25:53You what?
25:53A sort of subconscious truth.
25:56You see this skyscraper belonging to Trotter's Independent Traders, right?
26:00Yeah.
26:01And on the roof are the company's initials and you're standing on the penthouse balcony.
26:06Well, don't you see what the dream's trying to tell you?
26:08As you're standing on that balcony with your red drink, just above your head, in 50-foot-high
26:13neon lettering, is the word...
26:16TIT.
26:17Come on, let's call it a day.
26:35You owe me 50 quid on that bet, eh?
26:39Oh, all right, you old pessimist.
26:43What about our wages then, Del?
27:05Oh, yeah.
27:06I meant to talk to you about that.
27:08I thought that was going to be the big one, Rodney.
27:32I thought I was going to be the Freddie Laker of the highways.
27:35It was a nice try, Del.
27:36I don't understand it, though.
27:39I just don't understand it.
27:40Grandad distributed 1,000 litres.
27:421,000!
27:43You'd have thought that one, just one punter, might have been interested.
27:48Still, as dear old Mum used to say, it's better to know you've lost than not to know you've
27:55won.
27:56Dear old Mum, I used to say some bloody stupid things.
28:02Chuck this down a chute.
28:0330, 35, 40, 45, 50.
28:09Well, that weren't too bad, was it, Rodney?
28:13I've had two days away from the housework, a nice little drink, and I've won meself a
28:1950 quid bet.
28:20Very nice.
28:22Very nice indeed.
28:25Where's Del boy?
28:26Oh, he's just going to chuck that sign down a dust chute.
28:29Ah.
28:31A dust chute?
28:33Oh, my God.
28:36Grandad!
28:37Who?
28:40Come here, you senile old parasite.
28:43It wasn't me, Del boy.
28:45It was me brain.
28:47It wasn't your...
28:47I'll brain you, if I catch hold of you.
28:51Come here, get it.
28:52You can shut up and all.
28:53Boy, it's back!
28:59We've got some hard prospectors, some miles and miles of carpet tiles, TV's deep freeze
29:05and David Bowie LPs, pool games, gold chains, wuss names and Edda Push, and Trevor Francis
29:10tracksuits from a mush, and Shepard's bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush.
29:14No income tax, no VAT, no money back, no guarantee.
29:21Black or white, rich or broke, a wheel cut prices and a straw.
29:29God bless Hooky Street, viva Hooky Street, long live Hooky Street.
29:38It's Saint-Main-de-fique, Hooky Street, Hooky Street, Hooky Street.
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