- 2 days ago
Tv, Only Fools And Horses S01E04 - The Second Time Around.
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00:00Stick a bunny in me pocket
00:06I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:10Cause if you are the best ones
00:13But you don't ask questions
00:15Then brother, I'm your man
00:18Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:22It's like the changing of the seasons
00:24And the tides of the sea
00:26But is the one what's driving me berserk
00:29Why do only fours and horses work
00:33La-la-la-la
00:35La-la-la-la-la
00:37There you are, they're a pleasure to have the flu with, thanks love
00:40Now hurry up girls, get in while the going's good
00:42It's one for the price of two, one for the price of two
00:45Keep taking the money, Rodney
00:46I'm going to pop down the pub to get a lemonade for the old Hobsons
00:49Get us a packet of pork scratchings, would you?
00:51Pork scratchings?
00:52Sounds like a pig with fleas
00:54Come on in, get in while the going's good
00:57We are not here today gone tomorrow
00:59We are here today, gone this afternoon
01:01Now come on
01:01Hey hey
01:06All right Trigg?
01:07Hello Del boy, how's your luck?
01:09Oh you can have it for a knicker
01:10Hey Joyce, I'll have a pint of diesel oil for Trigger
01:12And I'll have blackcurrant and pernod
01:15Thank you
01:17You'll never guess who I just saw
01:20Er, King Faisal of Saudi Arabia
01:23No, no, you're miles off Del
01:25No, no, I knew he wouldn't be in here
01:27He'd be in the saloon bar, wouldn't he?
01:31I'm joking Trigg, I'm joking
01:32Oh gotcha
01:33No, it was your ex-fiancée
01:36Oh yeah, which one?
01:38Pauline
01:38Pauline?
01:41Pauline Harris?
01:43No
01:44No, no, you must have been mistaken
01:46She got married to that Bobby Finch, didn't she?
01:48And she went to live abroad
01:49Yeah
01:49Well who's that sitting over there then?
01:51That is her, Trigg
02:00That is her
02:01It's at moments like this when I wish I'd carried an emergency capsule of brute around with me
02:06Leave it out, will you Del?
02:09You don't want to get yourself involved with her again
02:10Remember what happened last time?
02:12Yeah, yeah, did she ask about me?
02:14Yeah, she seemed very concerned to know how much she was earning
02:17How the hell do you do?
02:21I thought it was what?
02:24I said, she seemed very concerned to know how much she was earning
02:27Yeah, well she probably is concerned, isn't she, eh?
02:30You know, perhaps she's worrying about me
02:32It's alright, alright, I'm not going to get involved, am I?
02:36Ah, I'm too shrewd for all that, aren't I?
02:39Eh?
02:40Now I might just go over there, you know, and say hello
02:42If that is alright with you two
02:45You want your brains testing
02:47Yeah, thank you, Joycey
02:49Here, did you take one for yourself?
02:51No
02:51Good
02:52Excuse me
02:57Excuse me, Squire
02:58Hello, Pauline
03:18Oh, I can't believe it
03:29It's so nice to see you again
03:31Well, it's nice to see you, Pauline
03:32What have you got over your lips here?
03:35What's all there?
03:37It's blackcurrant
03:38You are?
03:39It's on your lips
03:40Oh, blackcurrant?
03:41Oh, yes, probably from my blackcurrant and per nod
03:43Sorry
03:44Oh, thanks
03:47See, let me, let me wipe that off of...
03:53I haven't seen you for 12 years or more
04:00I want to know all that's been happening
04:03Nothing, you know, nothing really
04:05I heard you got mad at that Bobby Finch
04:08Where's he now?
04:10He's down the Blackshaw Road
04:11Oh, yeah, what, in them council flats?
04:13No, in a cemetery
04:14You mean you didn't know?
04:17No, no, no, I'm terribly sorry
04:19I am sorry
04:19I didn't realise, you see
04:21The last I heard that, you know, that you went to live abroad
04:24So naturally I thought that you and that Bobby-like had immigrated
04:26No, after Bobby died, I went to San Francisco
04:30Suited me being away from familiar surroundings
04:32I got a job as an air hostess
04:34It's a good salary, uniform, free travel
04:37Yeah, of course, that's in your blood, isn't it, eh?
04:39Because your mum was a bus conductress
04:40You never married yourself, Del?
04:47No, no, no, I never fancied myself
04:49No, no, no, it's...
04:56You know what I mean, I mean, what I mean is, you know, I've never met
05:00I've met a girl that I cared all that much about, really, you know
05:04Well, I mean, you know, well, there was one
05:06But you don't see her
05:08Oh, yeah, yeah
05:09Well, I'm looking at her now
05:12Where's my pork scratches?
05:23Sorry, sorry, Rodney, I got distracted
05:25Yeah, I did see my brother, Rodney
05:27You remember, you remember Rodney?
05:29He should be a little scruff
05:30Look at him now
05:32He's a big scruff, isn't he?
05:35Do you remember Pauline?
05:37Yeah, I remember
05:38Pauline Harris, innit?
05:39Yeah, yeah
05:40Do you call yourself Mrs Finch now?
05:42No, I call myself Mrs Baker
05:44I remarried, you see
05:46Oh, see
05:47An American chap
05:48Oh, get you
05:48Divorcee, eh?
05:50No, a widow
05:50Blimey, what?
05:52He kicked her back at an old, did he?
05:53Oh, no, I am sorry
05:55Sorry, I didn't
05:56I didn't mean that
05:57I'm sorry
05:57What about that?
05:59Isn't that a shame, eh, Rodney?
06:00You know, she had two husbands die on her
06:02Yeah
06:02One more, she keeps a match ball
06:04Excuse me a moment
06:09Yeah, yeah, of course
06:10I'm just going to powder my nose
06:12Yeah, yeah, well
06:12Hurry back, won't you
06:13Of course, you know
06:14I'll be waiting
06:15Yes, of course, Pauline
06:20Hurry back, Pauline
06:21Can I pull the chain for you, Pauline?
06:22You might be sick
06:23You're very hostile towards Pauline, ain't you?
06:27Well, can you blame me?
06:28I remember how she treated you
06:30When you was engaged
06:31I may only have been a little nipper deal
06:32But I remember how she screwed you up
06:34That was a long time ago, Rodney, wasn't it?
06:37When Pauline and me were engaged
06:38We was mods
06:39The only reason she left me
06:41Was because she found a bloke with a faster Vespa
06:43And that's a fair reason
06:45Yeah, it was in them days
06:47You've got to understand the times, Rodney
06:49In them days, I mean
06:51Teenage marriages broke up
06:52Because the husband didn't like the ollies
06:54But we're older now, you know
06:57We're more mature
06:59We've developed sensitivity
07:01And emotion
07:03Oh, my God
07:04Well, yeah, what would you know about it anyway, eh?
07:07You don't have romantic feelings, you
07:09You just have animal urges
07:11Sometimes I think you learnt the art of seduction
07:14By watching wildlife on one
07:16You've got to understand, Rodney
07:21That, you know
07:22Deep down inside me
07:25I'm a very sensitive person
07:28I am
07:29I am
07:31Well, look at Last Christmas
07:32And that film, Love Story
07:34Look how upset I got then
07:35I got upset and all
07:36Yeah, I know
07:37I know
07:37I got upset because Arlie McGraw died
07:39You got upset because Ryan O'Neill didn't
07:42Er, he's too good looking, isn't he?
07:47Well, what do you know about it anyway?
07:49What do you know?
07:50I am talking about men and women
07:51I am
07:52You, you're still knocking about with brownies
07:54No, I'm not
07:55Yes, you are
07:56Leave it out
07:57Some of your dates arrive by skateboard
07:59Look, Del
08:01All I'm trying to say is
08:03Don't get hyped up with that Pauline again
08:05She'll screw you up
08:06You mark my words
08:07Right, Rodney
08:10A lot of water has run under the bridge
08:13Since me and Pauline broke up
08:16I know what it's all about now
08:19You know
08:20I understand the rules of the game
08:22I know you're concerned for me
08:27I know you're trying to give me your advice
08:30But
08:31How can I put it?
08:35Shove it, Rodney
08:36Shove it
08:38It seems horrible as a new sort of social responsibility
08:42It started in the womb of Anglicanism
08:45But the followers of John Wesley
08:47Came to regard their own authority as sovereign
08:50The old boy's late, isn't he, Rodney?
08:52I wouldn't worry about it, Grandad
08:54I'll give him another 15 minutes
08:55And start finding round the moogs
08:57What do you mean, the moogs?
08:59Well, there's something about that Pauline
09:00That kills him off
09:01I think she must be a carrier or something
09:03It's bad news in meeting her again this afternoon
09:07I remember the last time she hooked him
09:10I mean, up till then, we was doing all right
09:13Well, your mum had died
09:15And your dad had run off and left you
09:17But other than that tickety-boo
09:19Right
09:19Del was out wheeling and dealing
09:22And we was coming along nice
09:24Then she turned up
09:26I'd never seen anyone change the fasters, Del boy
09:30He was besotted with her
09:33They was engaged within the week
09:36Broke up within the month
09:38Little cow was out sky-liking around with other fellas
09:42Del had more fights than John Wayne
09:45Well, up till then
09:49He was always a strong believer in God and all that
09:52I mean, he didn't go to church nor nothing
09:56No, didn't carry it to ridiculous lengths
09:58But he always give the church a good few quid
10:02Towards their fund for a new roof
10:04He said it was a penance
10:06Seeing as I was in what nicked the old one
10:09But after that
10:12He lost faith
10:14Shh, act natural
10:16Stay vaguely at them tellies, right?
10:18And no questions
10:19Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
10:28gentlemen, attention, gentlemen
10:45Gentlemen and Grandad, I have an announcement to make.
10:51Pauline and I are engaged to be married.
10:56Don't all blast the blood vessel then, will you, eh?
10:59That's terrific, Del.
11:01We'll have to put an announcement in the exchange of Mark.
11:05That's a lovely idea.
11:07That's a super...
11:08Here, go and get some glasses.
11:09Go on, go and get some glasses.
11:10We'll celebrate, all right?
11:11Come on, celebrate, yeah.
11:12You think I'm going to celebrate my only brother getting hiked up to a gold digger?
11:16Listen, oi, listen, motor mouth.
11:19I know that you don't like Pauline.
11:21Oh, does it notice that much?
11:23Yes, it does.
11:24I know that you...
11:25Look, I know you don't like the idea, all right?
11:28But, you know, that's what I want.
11:31Come on.
11:33Come on.
11:34Come on.
11:35Come on, have a drink, eh?
11:36Have a drink, eh?
11:37Come on, have a drink.
11:37Yeah, yeah.
11:38Get her.
11:39I'll get some glasses.
11:40Yeah, get some glasses.
11:41Get some glasses.
11:42That's it.
11:42Here, Grandad.
11:43What are you feeling, Grandad?
11:45I ain't saying a word, Del boy.
11:47You want to put yourself in lumber for the rest of your life?
11:50That's entirely up to you.
11:51I'm saying nothing.
11:55Oi, listen, you haven't heard the best part yet.
11:56Listen, this is a double celebration because not only have I got engaged to Pauline,
12:03but my bride-to-be has kindly condescended to come and live with us.
12:08Well, don't say your congratulations, then, will you?
12:13All right.
12:25Say something, then, Grandad?
12:27There's a film on the other side.
12:30Lots of people get killed in it.
12:32I cleaned that table today.
12:50Good.
12:51Well, make my pimps of 30, will it?
12:56Del?
12:56Well, Rodney.
13:02Well, that was divine, my love.
13:04That was divine.
13:04That was, well, it was pas de calais, as they say in France.
13:09Long time since we had a steak like that, eh, Rodney?
13:11Don't have a long time, Del.
13:13Me and Grandad had corned beef.
13:15Corned beef?
13:17Well, I'm not cooking for them two as well, Derek.
13:20I'll cook for you and me, and you and me only.
13:22I didn't come here to be a skiffy.
13:24No, no, no, no, I know, my love.
13:26I know my pet, well, you see, the thing is,
13:28when I gave you the housekeeping money at the beginning of the week,
13:30I meant for you to get some grub for them and all.
13:32I did.
13:33I got corned beef.
13:35Ah, yeah.
13:36Well, there you are.
13:38See?
13:38You like a little bit of corned beef, don't you, Grandad?
13:40What's up with you, then, eh?
13:45It's her, ain't it?
13:47What?
13:48She's in my tea.
13:54Yeah.
13:55What are you eating his tea for, then, Petal?
13:58No, you don't know what it's like in this place.
14:01Well, you and Rodney are out the auctions of the market,
14:04but I'm stuck here with him.
14:06He's nibbling all day long.
14:08There'll be nothing left if I let him carry on.
14:11Don't worry.
14:12He gets his teeth back at mealtimes.
14:15I can't get it.
14:16All right, well, you know best, eh, Petal?
14:18Yeah.
14:19Eh?
14:20Why don't you and Grandad go out, Rodney?
14:28I wouldn't mind being alone for once.
14:30You want to be left alone?
14:31Of course.
14:32Well, I'll go with them.
14:33Come on, Grandad.
14:35I'll be alone with you.
14:37Oh, see.
14:37Well, we never have any time to ourselves in this place.
14:40No time to yourselves?
14:42You spend most of your lives in that bedroom.
14:44Giant pandas make quicker than you two.
14:46Ever since I moved in here,
14:51what we never seem to do of an evening
14:52is sitting here watching them rotten televisions.
14:55And that's another thing.
14:57Why does he watch two televisions?
14:59Because the other one's being mended.
15:02You mean he normally watches three?
15:04Yeah.
15:05He's going senile.
15:07Yeah.
15:07Well, wouldn't he be happier with company of his own age?
15:13You're not bringing your granny round here to live with us, are you?
15:15I was thinking of a home.
15:17He's already got a home.
15:19I know a very nice place down near Thames Ditton.
15:22Bobby Finch's Grandad died there.
15:25Can't put him in a home, Pauline.
15:28He's family.
15:29I'll be your family soon.
15:31What are you going in home, then?
15:33I don't want to go in no home, Rodney.
15:36I might catch something.
15:37Don't you worry, Grandad.
15:38We're staying put.
15:40Well, the only alternative is for us to buy a house of our own.
15:43Oh, me?
15:44Buy a house?
15:45No, no, I couldn't do that.
15:47Couldn't do that.
15:47Don't you see that as soon as I put my signature on a document,
15:50the authorities are going to know that I'm alive.
15:54Round here after their pound of flesh, quicker than the Mafia.
15:57But you can do what my other husbands did.
16:00Put the house in my name.
16:01Well, nobody's going to think it's strange me buying a house.
16:04Not with all the money I got on the life insurances.
16:07Have you got your life insured, Del?
16:09No.
16:10Never thought about dying before.
16:14Well, we'll have to sort that out.
16:16A wife needs protection.
16:17Especially with your luck, Pauline.
16:19I fancy an early night, Del.
16:24Oh, no.
16:24What again?
16:28Come on.
16:29Yes, all right, my love.
16:30A petal.
16:31Listen, you two.
16:35Hey!
16:44You ready, Grandad?
16:45Yeah.
16:46I just want to see what happens first.
16:49Eh?
16:50Now, don't start making excuses.
16:51We both agree we're not wanted here no more,
16:53so let's get out before Del wakes up.
16:55We can't go without saying goodbye to him.
16:58No, all right.
16:59We'll say goodbye, then.
16:59We'll get on our way.
17:02He's still up yet?
17:03No, he's still in bed.
17:04He needs his sleep.
17:05He had a bad night.
17:06Yeah?
17:07He didn't sound too bad from where I was.
17:10Go and wake him up.
17:12I'll wake him, Rodney.
17:13Rodney, I don't want you going in that room.
17:16That's my mum's room.
17:18It used to be your mum's room, Rodney,
17:19but it's mine now, and I don't want to see you in there.
17:22Is that understood?
17:22Jawohl, mein Opagopenführer.
17:25At your age, Rodney.
17:28Why don't you bike it, you old bag?
17:32You know why she don't want us in there, don't you?
17:35Probably filled up with her devices of sexual torture.
17:38I bet poor Del's in there now, bound and gagged,
17:41wearing a rubber mask, a loincloth,
17:42and being threatened with French lessons.
17:46Maybe that's why he's been looking a bit seedy lately.
17:49Yeah.
17:50And it's only through lack of food, is it?
17:52I mean, look.
17:53There are third world nations
17:54who give up their mineral rights for what's on that plate.
17:57I wonder what happened to his fried slice.
17:59Perhaps he didn't want it.
18:01His stomach's been a bit dicky, hasn't he?
18:03That's true.
18:08Hello?
18:09Oh, hello, Trig.
18:10Yeah, hang on, I'll get him.
18:12Pauline!
18:13Untied Del, will you?
18:14Who is wanted?
18:17I'm out, I'm out.
18:19Hey, what do you mean, untied Del, anyway?
18:21Nothing.
18:22Who is it?
18:23It's Trig.
18:24Trigger.
18:25Oh, hello, Trig.
18:25What do you want?
18:26No, no, no, he didn't disturb me.
18:28I had to give up anyway.
18:29I was wanted on the phone.
18:30Del!
18:31Hang on a minute, will you, Trig?
18:33Cut it out.
18:34I'm just popping down to the jewelers,
18:36put a deposit on that ring I saw.
18:38What?
18:38Another one?
18:39You've been engaged five times, married twice.
18:41You must have more rings than Bravingtons.
18:43Just shut it, Rodney.
18:45I mean, what is it with you, eh?
18:46Are you trying to corner the world's gold market,
18:48or have you just got a thing about wedding cakes?
18:50I'll bang you one in a minute.
18:51Leave her alone, will you?
18:53Don't forget you've got to arrange a medical
18:54for your life insurance.
18:56I'll see you down in estate agents.
18:58We can go on to the bank from there.
19:00All right, darling.
19:01Yeah.
19:02Zinkhole!
19:05Cut him out!
19:06What have you been doing?
19:07Sniffing that glue again, have you?
19:09Oh, dear.
19:11Well, I was sorry about that, Trig.
19:12Yeah.
19:13Now I was just Rodney having one of his fits.
19:15Anyway, what do you want to phone me about?
19:17Eh?
19:19Amazing.
19:20It's a delicate matter.
19:22Eh?
19:23No, I know you're in me, mate.
19:25No, I won't say that you're interfering.
19:28I promise I won't tell you to mind your own business.
19:30Just say what you want to say, will you?
19:33Yeah?
19:36Oh, did I?
19:38Did you?
19:41Did he?
19:43Well, listen, Trig.
19:45Why don't you mind your own bloody business, eh?
19:47Who do you think you are interfering, eh?
19:49Look, you just keep your nose out of it.
19:51All right, pal?
19:54That's Trig keeping.
19:58Do you know what he had the audacity to say?
20:00He phoned me up to say that he heard last night that the police had investigated Bobby Finch's death.
20:04Apparently, he died of food poisoning.
20:08Food poisoning?
20:10Oh.
20:11Your breakfast's getting cold, Del, bro.
20:14Yeah.
20:18Yeah.
20:19Thanks, Grandad.
20:22Yeah, well.
20:23Do you know what?
20:23I think I'm putting on a bit of weight.
20:25I think I'll go on a diet.
20:27Get off.
20:28There's no calories in weed killer.
20:33You make me die, you do.
20:37I suppose you think the Pauline's gone window shopping at Rent-A-Kills.
20:40Oh, well, I'm going down to make arrangements for my medical.
20:44I'll see you two later.
20:46No, you won't, Del.
20:47Because me and Grandad have had it up to here.
20:49We're getting out.
20:50Eh?
20:51What do you mean?
20:51You're leaving?
20:53No, leave it out, Rodney.
20:55What are you going to do for money?
20:57We'll get by.
20:57We're thinking of forming a partnership.
20:59A partnership?
21:00A partnership?
21:01You and Grandad?
21:02God, leave it out, Rodney.
21:04What have you been doing?
21:05Sitting on your brains again?
21:07You must have noticed at some time or another
21:09that he doesn't move.
21:12You know he made the front page of the Lancet, don't you?
21:14As being the only living man in history
21:16to be treated for rigor mortis.
21:19Where are you going to go, anyway?
21:21Aunty Rose is in Clacton.
21:23Aunty Rose is in Clacton?
21:25Yeah.
21:25Grandad says we can go there any time.
21:27Oh, did he?
21:28Oh, did he?
21:29Well, you'd better go there now, then, anyway.
21:31Go on.
21:32A pair of you.
21:32Get on your bike.
21:33Go on.
21:34Before Pauline comes back with me deadly nightshade.
21:39Rodney.
21:44Oh.
21:45Come on.
21:46Don't believe all that rubbish about food poisoning, do you?
21:49Course not.
21:51Eat your mushrooms, Del.
21:59Rodney?
22:00We're not coming back, Del.
22:01No, hang about.
22:02I'm coming with you.
22:02Yeah.
22:02Yeah.
22:02Yeah.
22:03Yeah.
22:03Yeah.
22:03Yeah.
22:03Yeah.
22:03Yeah.
22:03Yeah.
22:03Yeah.
22:03Yeah.
22:03Yeah.
22:04Yeah.
22:04Yeah.
22:04Yeah.
22:04Yeah.
22:04Yeah.
22:05Yeah.
22:05Yeah.
22:05Yeah.
22:05Yeah.
22:05Yeah.
22:05Yeah.
22:10Come on, Rodney.
22:11You bring the suitcases.
22:13Grandpa, you carry the light stuff.
22:14Okay?
22:16Ha-ha-ha-ha.
22:17Surprise, surprise.
22:19Hello, auntie.
22:20Bet you're surprised to see us, eh, love?
22:22Yes.
22:22Come on, come on.
22:23Bring that in, you two.
22:26Oh, yes.
22:28Very nice.
22:29Oh.
22:30I've got a phone number.
22:31Here we are.
22:32Ah.
22:33Here, granddad.
22:34Change the channels over, will you?
22:36It's racing on our post, too.
22:37Hi.
22:39What are you putting that note to Pauline, then?
22:44I'll just put, my dearest darling Pauline, the engagement's off, the wedding's off, and
22:50as you can gather from this letter, I'm off.
22:52I'll give you five clear days to get out of the flat, and do not ever come back, you money-grabbing
22:58old murderess.
22:59All my love, doll boy, and then lots of kisses.
23:02Well, I didn't put it quite as nicely as that, but that was the gist of the idea, yeah.
23:06God knows what we'll go back to.
23:08She might have probably smashed that flat to pieces.
23:10Have you had enough?
23:11Oh.
23:12That was handsome.
23:14Handsome?
23:14Well, it was Sean's Elyse, as a friend say.
23:18Now, listen, auntie.
23:19We're going to be here for about five days, so what I want you to do is take this money
23:24here like that, put that in your penny, because I don't want you spending your own money
23:28on us, all right?
23:29Well, that's very nice of you.
23:32Do you mind if I ask you something?
23:34Well, of course not.
23:36Mon air d'etra.
23:37No, far away.
23:39Who are you?
23:45Who are we?
23:48I mean, we'd been in your house for five hours, had all your shepherd's pie and had a bath each,
23:53and you don't know who we are.
23:53Well, I didn't like to ask, because you seem to know me.
24:00But we're Joni's boys, aren't we?
24:03Well, I mean, he isn't.
24:05No, no.
24:06You know Joni, my mum, married Reg Trotter.
24:09You were at a wedding.
24:11Don't remember you.
24:12No, no, no.
24:14Of course you wouldn't remember me, not at my mum's wedding.
24:17I was only a baby in arms.
24:19You still come down any time.
24:22When was this, then?
24:241947.
24:26So, here we are.
24:28Yeah.
24:29You must remember the wedding.
24:31It was at that big church.
24:34You know, Our Lady of the Divine Rosemary.
24:37Yeah.
24:38You know, Peckham.
24:39Peckham?
24:40I've never been to Peckham in me life.
24:43I think you should mention it, though, because the lady what owned the cottage before me,
24:47she came from Peckham.
24:48Aren't you?
24:51Auntie Rose has moved.
24:52Well, who's this thing?
24:53God knows.
24:55Joni.
24:56Joni Ollins?
24:59Married a Jamaican fella.
25:01Hey?
25:02Yeah.
25:02Yeah.
25:03Yeah.
25:03Yeah, but you don't look very...
25:06We're adopted.
25:07Yeah.
25:07Oh.
25:09Would you like some apple pie?
25:12That will be smashing, auntie.
25:14Shh, come on.
25:22Come on, come in here.
25:24Listen.
25:26Shh, be alert.
25:28Pauline could come rushing out of any one of those rooms in there,
25:31brandishing her mother of pearl hand or flick knife.
25:35Be like psycho in a tower block.
25:39Shh, listen.
25:41I'll take the living room.
25:42Rodney, you take the bedroom.
25:43Grandad, you take the kitchen.
25:45Right.
25:46And good luck.
25:48Right.
25:50Go on, my son.
25:51Go on, go on.
25:52Go on.
25:53Go on.
25:54Go on.
26:07She's not in the bedrooms.
26:08She's done any damage?
26:11No.
26:11All the beds are neatly made.
26:12She's even been round with the ova.
26:14She's not in the kitchen.
26:15Not clean and tidy out there.
26:18What's her game, then, eh?
26:19What is her game?
26:21There's no way that that Pauline would leave this flat
26:23without doing something really nasty to me.
26:25Eh?
26:26Whee!
26:28No, no.
26:30That'd be dark.
26:30Where would she get a bomb from, eh?
26:33Hey, there's a letter here.
26:35It's addressed to that no-good-lying two-faced creepo.
26:38Oh, that'll be for me, Rodney.
26:43Let's have a look, see what she's got to say for herself, then, eh?
26:47Right.
26:47Here we are.
26:48Look.
26:49Oh, well.
26:50That's more like the Pauline I know and love.
26:53Oh, dear.
26:54Look at the...
26:54Look at the...
26:55Look at the language here.
26:57Huh!
26:57You'd think an ex-aerostess would know how to spell better than that.
27:00Look at that, eh?
27:01Is that true?
27:03What?
27:03No.
27:05What?
27:07Bill, did Pauline really mean that much to you?
27:09Hmm?
27:11No, no.
27:13Not really.
27:15No, somehow it wasn't quite the same.
27:17Sometimes I think I'm not really cut out for this falling-in-love lark.
27:24I've got a confession to make, Del.
27:34You know that phone call from Trigg, the one about the police investigation into food poisoning?
27:40Well, it was a wind-up.
27:41Me and Grandad put him up to it.
27:43We did it for you, Del.
27:44You put him up to it.
27:52It was nothing to do with me, Del.
27:53I only suggested it.
27:56You know that?
27:57He only suggested it.
27:59Well, he was only thinking of you, Del.
28:01You was only thinking of me, you couple of rascals!
28:09Cool!
28:10What am I going to do with you two, eh?
28:11Hey, what am I going to do with you?
28:13Well, I've got your hat stuck, didn't it?
28:14Yeah, we're all right on our own.
28:16We don't need no birds.
28:18No, no.
28:19Not if you say so, Grandad.
28:21Here, go on, go on.
28:23Put the kettle on, eh?
28:24Go on.
28:26Look at this girl, the way she spells.
28:28Look at that, PTO.
28:29What's that, PTO?
28:30It's PTO.
28:30It's please turn over, isn't it?
28:32I know what...
28:32I know what please turn over means, don't I, PTO.
28:37I'm not illiterate and all that.
28:39Yeah, there's someone on the phone.
28:41It's Tim.
28:42Tim who?
28:42Tim the talking clock.
28:46Oh, the cow!
28:49She only found the talking clock before she left.
28:53And this is...
28:53Oh, Bennett, this is dated four days ago.
28:57I don't want to worry you, Dil,
28:59but this Tim's got a funny accent.
29:00She only found the talking clock in America, don't she?
29:08You're connected to America?
29:11It's amazing, isn't it?
29:13I don't know.
29:14I don't know.
29:15I don't know.
29:15Hang it up!
29:17I don't know.
29:22I don't know.
29:22They're not the only one ever after that.
29:23You've got some half-glass practice,
29:24some miles and miles of capital,
29:26TVs, deep freeze, and David Bowie OPs,
29:29pool games, gold chains,
29:31wuss names, and Edda Push,
29:32and Trevor Francis track suits from a mush,
29:34and Shepard's Bush.
29:35No income tax, no VAT
29:41No money back, no guarantee
29:44Black or white, rich or broke
29:47We'll cut prices and a straw
29:50God bless Hooky Street
29:55Viva Hooky Street
29:58Long live Hooky Street
30:01Same and defeat, Hooky Street
30:04Magnifique Hooky Street
30:07Hooky Street
30:10Hooky Street
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