- vor 12 Stunden
Kategorie
😹
SpaßTranskript
00:02Don't look away
00:16I might just do this all day
00:35We've already had so many highs and lows I feel like I'm on a goddamn trampoline
00:40We've had so many laughs. I feel like I've been tickled by a flipping clown. We've seen so deep into
00:44their psyches
00:45I feel like dr. Sigmund Freud has combined forces with dr.
00:49Albaugham and had me dancing around inside their brains to his seminal track. It's my life
00:54It's the penultimate episode. There we go deeper. There we go cellular. Please welcome Amy Gledhill
01:02CHEERING
01:04Orlando Iannucci
01:06CHEERING
01:07Joanna Page
01:09CHEERING
01:10Joel Domit
01:12CHEERING
01:13And Camille Nanjiani
01:16CHEERING
01:18And next to me, the gravy to my roasts, the chips to my fish,
01:23the gusset to my gooch
01:26LAUGHTER
01:29It's little Alex Hall!
01:34I'll take that.
01:35What's the prize task category this time?
01:38Well, Greg, this is actually our 200th prize task.
01:42What?
01:43Is this the 200th show?
01:45I guess it must be.
01:46Have we run out of ideas?
01:47Well, judge for yourselves, because this time it's the thing you would most enjoy winching up from a well-inning.
01:57Yes, there's life in the old dog yet.
01:59But enough about what I winched up from a well-in-a-bucket.
02:02Let's see what the five contestants have brought in.
02:05All five prizes will go home with the episode winner.
02:07But will the episode winner have a well to winch them up from?
02:10I couldn't give a toss.
02:11Back to you, Greg.
02:12LAUGHTER
02:15Armando.
02:15The thing I'd most like to see winched up from a bucket from a well is the head of a
02:20water company with a turd in his mouth.
02:23LAUGHTER
02:35And the reason I thought is because it gets paid so much money that I think...
02:38I think to earn that money they must be down there all the time, just sorting it all out.
02:43And also the turd is there just to remind them how much work they still have to do.
02:48LAUGHTER
02:48Yeah.
02:50Yeah.
02:51Are you consuming?
02:52Really are, yeah.
02:53LAUGHTER
02:54Well, it's a powerful political statement, but I know for a fact that there's people over this side of the
03:01camp
03:01are just laughing at a man having a poo in his mouth.
03:04LAUGHTER
03:05Joel.
03:06I'm just going to show it to you.
03:08It's a note from someone who is down there that says,
03:12I'm stuck down here.
03:13No need for help, though.
03:14I'm having a well good time.
03:17LAUGHTER
03:17Yeah.
03:19Wow.
03:20By your standards, that's weak.
03:24LAUGHTER
03:24Go at that.
03:25I have brought 11 curly-whirlies.
03:30Whoa.
03:32Whoa.
03:34They've been unsheathed.
03:35I know.
03:36So, shortly after having my third child, of a morning, I would drop one child to school,
03:43one child to the nursery, and then one child would fall asleep in the back of the car.
03:46I would drive straight to the local garage and I would buy an iced caramel latte,
03:51a magazine and one curly-whirly.
03:53And I would sit in the car and I'd be like, oh, my God, it's my time just to have
03:57a rest.
03:58I loved, like, the chewiness of them, right?
04:00So I soon went to three curly-whirlies, but then I was like, it just wasn't enough,
04:04because I was like, oh, my God, I need the chewing, I need the chewing.
04:06So quite soon I went to eight curly-whirlies.
04:09Then I was like, if you're going to do eight, you may as well do ten.
04:12Then it still wasn't enough and I went, sod it, get 11.
04:15So I was eating 11 curly-whirlies every single day.
04:19Can you imagine that all clumped together?
04:21That's like the size of a bowling ball.
04:22I didn't like them after eight. After eight, I was just like...
04:25Don't bring after eights into this.
04:31And I made an intervention on myself.
04:34And now they're not allowed in the house.
04:36But if I've got the chance to post something up from a well,
04:38it's these 11 curly-whirlies.
04:44Absolutely fascinating.
04:46Kamel, what would you like to bring up from a well?
04:48Let's just look at it.
04:50OK.
04:50There it is.
04:57Doesn't matter what points you give me, I already have that.
04:59And that is actually Ed Gamble's trophy.
05:03And when I asked him to do it, if I could borrow it for this,
05:06he said, and I quote,
05:08It is my greatest love equal with my wife.
05:11If you lose, I will never speak to you again.
05:13So it's a real win-win for me.
05:16LAUGHTER
05:19Sort of renders the whole competition pointless,
05:22if you really got one.
05:23Oh, I've short-circuited your whole thing, man.
05:25I guess we'll have to abandon the competition.
05:28LAUGHTER
05:29Talk about curly-whirlies for a bit.
05:33Amy.
05:34I have brought in some custard in a bowl from the well.
05:38I love custard, and I used to have one bowl in my car,
05:42and then I went to five bowl.
05:44LAUGHTER
05:49Also, custard's amazing.
05:50So it's a non-Newtonian liquid,
05:53which I've been learning about,
05:54where the viscosity changes if you put stress on it.
05:57So once it's come up, you can, like, stomp on it and dance on it.
06:00And there's...
06:02I'm so sorry, Amy.
06:05You cannot dance on custard.
06:07Yes, you can.
06:08I've seen a TikTok.
06:11LAUGHTER
06:11Different generation.
06:13Right, ready to score all these, Greg?
06:14Yep.
06:15It's been over ten years now that this trophy has annoyed me,
06:19because it looks nothing like me.
06:22Sorry, I don't want to see this awful thing being pulled up from a well,
06:26and I want this to be the only one that people are caring about.
06:29You've shot yourself in the foot, my friend.
06:31One point.
06:32What?!
06:33OK, I accept.
06:34Oh.
06:36I think we all know who's getting two points.
06:39What?!
06:40LAUGHTER
06:40OK, I accept.
06:43Two points for Joel.
06:44Joanna, I'm doing this for your own good.
06:46I'm only giving you three points.
06:47OK.
06:47So custard's in the top two.
06:48Just checking that.
06:50LAUGHTER
06:51There's a caveat coming, though.
06:53Ooh.
06:53I think the state of the water in this country is abysmal,
06:56and I think there are some men, and or women,
06:59who should have a plop in their mouth.
07:01Four points to Armanda.
07:02Here's my caveat.
07:03I'm going to give custard five points,
07:04because I want to believe it's a special substance
07:07that defies the laws of physics.
07:08But unless I get written proof by the end of this episode,
07:11I'm going to give you one point.
07:13What?!
07:14I accept.
07:15And there we go.
07:15It goes one, two, three, four, five points to Amy Glidhill.
07:18But I'll meet Joel probably.
07:20Joel probably.
07:21Right.
07:22On with the first task.
07:23And now for a demonstration about renewable energy.
07:26Hmm?
07:26In a comedy show...
07:27Yes, please.
07:28Peace.
07:31LAUGHTER
07:51What are you doing?
07:52Just powering a battery.
07:55Which battery?
07:56Oh, here.
07:58Oh, wow.
07:59Oh, wow.
07:59Wind, solar, dynamo.
08:02Natural sourced energy.
08:04Oh!
08:05Oh!
08:06Work out what powers the bulb in the hat.
08:11OK, don't know what the hat is.
08:13What powers the bul...
08:14Oh!
08:15Work out what powers the bulb in the lab.
08:17Work out what powers the bulb in the lab.
08:21You may only give one answer and you may only enter the lab once.
08:26Fastest correct answer wins.
08:28Your time starts now.
08:30The bike, the solar panel and the wind machine are all charging up batteries in that box but only one...
08:42Oh, no.
08:47What's your logic?
08:48I haven't got any logic at the minute.
08:51Oh, it's like something...
08:53I need my husband for this, which I know is a terribly sexist thing to say, but it's the truth.
08:57I provide warmth and love and he does technical stuff.
09:02Well, you can give him a call.
09:09Thank you, Joanna.
09:10At last, someone's got the courage to say it.
09:13What's wrong with just women raising children while we solve all the problems?
09:20What's wrong with that?
09:21We go out and graft you, just potter around, have a coffee with your friends.
09:25And while she's out with the kids, I'm at work.
09:28Sure, I see a male colleague showering.
09:31Think I'm not going to jump in?
09:32Sorry.
09:34I'm so sorry.
09:35You've got me.
09:37Shall we see some?
09:38Yes.
09:39To work out what powers the bulb in the lab, one answer, one entry into the lab.
09:45Two people up first to have their lightbulb moment.
09:47He's from Gostershire, she's from Yorkshire.
09:49Yes, they're both here now.
09:50Joel and Amy.
09:53So if I turn on a switch and the light's not on, I know it's not that.
09:59Correct.
10:00But there's three things.
10:02Yes.
10:03I'm just going to do...
10:06Wind on.
10:06Dynamo on.
10:07Oh, OK, that's on.
10:09You're off.
10:09So wind on.
10:11Wind is on.
10:11OK.
10:12Wind.
10:13Wind.
10:20Ah, bollocks.
10:23I'm not allowed in.
10:25I'm going to get a stick.
10:26You're going to get a stick.
10:27Did you go in?
10:28No, I looked in.
10:30Oh, right, OK.
10:31Is that OK?
10:32Yeah, as long as you didn't go in.
10:33I didn't go in.
10:33I wouldn't dare.
10:34Solar!
10:35Solar, OK.
10:36Whoa, interesting.
10:37You like it?
10:38I like it.
10:39Oh!
10:40Oh!
10:41I've got an idea.
10:42What's your idea?
10:43I need, like, a mirror on a stick.
10:45OK.
10:46Have you got one?
10:47Well, I've got a cycle in.
10:49You've got to do that.
10:49That's all right.
10:50I'll work that out.
10:57Oh!
10:59Shit!
11:02OK.
11:04This is good.
11:04It'll be like, um...
11:05What's that thing called on a submarine?
11:07A periscope.
11:07A periscope.
11:08Something like that.
11:16Bloody hell.
11:21Oh!
11:23I saw the bulb.
11:24You saw the bulb?
11:24That's on, right?
11:25Wind is on at the moment.
11:26Wind is on at the moment, which means...
11:30It's not the wind.
11:33You've put solar on.
11:34Solar on.
11:36Video.
11:36Let's get a video going.
11:39OK.
11:43Someone look around.
11:51Oh!
11:53Ah!
11:55I think that's it!
11:58Solar!
11:59Solar?
12:00Solar!
12:00Stop the clock!
12:08It's solar!
12:10I've stopped the clock?
12:11I literally just could have walked in the lab.
12:12I could have had one look.
12:13Mm-hm.
12:14Oh!
12:15That would have been so quick.
12:22It's a clever idea, a periscope.
12:24I expect it from Amy, but not from you.
12:26Yeah!
12:27I just want to say I'm having a well, good time.
12:32Well, I also think that it is a great word in the Hull accent.
12:37Mm.
12:38Periscope.
12:40It was the solar power that turned the bulb on.
12:43Amy, 9 minutes 40.
12:45You've got that answer.
12:46Joel, 6 minutes 40.
12:47Whoa!
12:48Yeah!
12:50Now, it's Armando Iannucci.
12:52Yes, it's silly smart person times.
12:57Right.
12:57Is the bulb in the lab?
12:59There is the bulb in the lab, yeah.
13:00There is the bulb in the lab.
13:00One of us is controlling it.
13:02We all go into that box and charge up the battery, but only one of the switches works.
13:06Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:06Yeah.
13:06It's time.
13:07Time's involved.
13:07Time, yeah.
13:08Yeah, yeah.
13:08Fastest wins.
13:08Bye-bye.
13:09Yeah.
13:14Mm-hm.
13:15Hello.
13:17What works?
13:18Well, it's not.
13:18Is it on?
13:20Is it on?
13:21Is it on?
13:22Mm-hm.
13:23Right.
13:26And it wasn't on, was it?
13:29The slight problem was...
13:31Hello, Armando.
13:31The bulb wasn't really on.
13:33No, we haven't turned any of the switches on yet.
13:35Right, so wind...
13:37So that might have turned the bulb on.
13:39Yes, it might have.
13:43No.
13:45I'm just going to say dynamo.
13:48That's your guess?
13:49Yeah.
13:49You think I'm powering the bulb?
13:50Yep.
13:51I mean, I didn't understand your plan or logic.
13:54I'm coming to the realisation that I didn't have one.
13:57No.
13:57I don't know.
13:57I thought solar would be boring.
13:59And I know that's not a scientific answer.
14:03I've logged the time.
14:05I've logged that you find solar power boring.
14:07Yep.
14:08And you can go.
14:17Do you, um...
14:19Do you ever think that maybe someone else wrote Veep?
14:22Yeah.
14:25A ghostwriter, perhaps.
14:26Yeah.
14:27I think it happened during my nap time.
14:31It's the one task of all of these that I...
14:34I just know I didn't engage with it any way whatsoever.
14:39You think it's the one task?
14:41The one task.
14:43Absolutely fascinating.
14:45But we can all agree on one thing, I think.
14:47Solar.
14:47It's boring.
14:51You go and watch some ads.
14:53We're going to work on our abs.
14:55Aha!
14:56Yeah!
14:57Ooh!
15:01Ooh!
15:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
15:06Welcome back to Task Masters Part Two, and we're saving the planet with renewable energy.
15:11Yes, we are.
15:12One task at a time.
15:13There are three renewable energy sources on the go, but which one is powering the lightbulb
15:17in the lab?
15:18Well, we know that it's solar power, right, Armando?
15:20We know.
15:21But will Camille and Joanna figure it out?
15:24And if so, how?
15:26So, right now the bulb is off?
15:28Right now the bulb is off.
15:30Is the bulb on now?
15:31I don't know.
15:32You do know.
15:33Don't lie to me.
15:34Just say I don't want to tell you.
15:35I don't want to tell you.
15:37Is the bulb on now?
15:39I don't want to tell you.
15:42Is the bulb on now?
15:43I don't want to tell you.
15:44You're a quick learner.
15:46So, that, right, I don't think it's windy enough for that to be making any difference
15:50at all.
15:51I will tell you the joke.
15:52They've stored enough energy to be able to do it.
15:54That's been going all morning.
15:55This has been in the sun, so it could be any of them.
15:59I'm going to take a look at the lab, but I'm not going to walk in.
16:01You've turned wind on.
16:06Oh, OK, right, so that isn't on.
16:09That's not on now.
16:15All right, that was worth a shot.
16:18OK, so I've been in there and the lamp is off.
16:21It's off, yes.
16:22Well, all the switches are off.
16:25Oh, my God, so I have to turn one of these on to make that work first of all?
16:31Would have thought so.
16:32Oh!
16:33The wind's been on for a while now.
16:35Four minutes.
16:36But the battery won't run out, right?
16:37No.
16:38The battery won't run out.
16:39Wind off.
16:44Something about the bulb being warm.
16:47The bulb gets warm.
16:50I think I figured it out.
16:52I keep one on.
16:54I turn one other one on.
16:55I go in.
16:56If the bulb is warm, it's wind.
16:58If the bulb is on, it's solar.
17:00If the bulb is off and cold, it's dynamo.
17:03Wow.
17:05Solar on.
17:08It's solar.
17:13It's solar.
17:15How do you know?
17:16Well, the bulb was on.
17:19Well, it's a sunny day.
17:20It's a sunny day.
17:21I don't think you're doing anything of any good on there.
17:24And it's not windy enough, in my opinion.
17:27I'm going to put that on.
17:28Solar's on.
17:28Well, my God.
17:29I thought it was more complicated, to be honest.
17:31I'm going with solar.
17:32There you go.
17:33And you have no idea if you're right or wrong?
17:34I have no idea.
17:35See you later.
17:36See you later.
17:42As usual, Joanna displays the confidence and authority that belies her actual ability.
17:48I didn't, and I still don't understand any of that.
17:52I know.
17:53And I think I thought that you just do, that you just, that you can't do that more than once.
17:59I didn't understand it.
18:00Joanna is winning the series.
18:04Can I ask, did she beat me on this task?
18:08I'm going to tell you this.
18:10Kamel, you weren't even quicker than Joel.
18:17Come on.
18:19Wow.
18:20Are you fucking kidding me?
18:22I thought my idea, when I went to the toilet, to fix my hair in the mirror.
18:29Amy was nine minutes forty, so two points.
18:32Kamel, seven minutes forty.
18:34Three points.
18:36Then, we know Joel got six minutes forty-eight.
18:38Joanna, six minutes forty-six.
18:41APPLAUSE
18:43Wow.
18:45Can I just check, so Armando got it wrong and was disqualified.
18:48Does he get any points?
18:49I don't think we can give Professor Sleepy any points.
18:52OK.
18:52There we go.
18:53Zero to Armando.
18:53The winner of the task was Joanna with five points.
18:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:57Oh, my God.
18:58Wow.
18:58Let's see a scoreboard, you smelly boy.
19:01Aw.
19:03LAUGHTER
19:04Well, I think Kamel will be very pleased to hear that he's now in joint last
19:07in the episode of Armando.
19:09You've got four points.
19:10Joanna's got eight points.
19:11She's in the lead.
19:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:31Oh, this is you.
19:33Hello.
19:35Aw, yes!
19:37Aw, yes.
19:39Yes!
19:40Yeah.
19:40It's tennis time.
19:44May I?
19:45Tuck in.
19:45It's a cooking apple.
19:51Tart.
19:53You play tennis?
19:54Yeah, big time.
19:56You're good?
19:56Mm-hm.
19:57You are?
19:58Yeah.
19:59Leave the most pink balls on the other side of the court
20:03at the end of the task.
20:05You may only touch balls with rackets.
20:09You will lose one pink ball for every blue ball left on your side
20:14of the court at the end of the task.
20:16Alex must freeze for 30 seconds every time you strike the gong.
20:21with the ball.
20:23You have five minutes.
20:25Your time starts on the whistle.
20:28So, Armando, my job is to hit blue balls into your side of the court.
20:32Oh, you've got the blue balls, right.
20:34Yep.
20:34And I'll also try to get rid of any pink balls on my side.
20:37OK.
20:41That was cool.
20:41That looked better than I thought it was going to.
20:45APPLAUSE
20:48Well, Alex, to explain the rules of this game to me,
20:52and I do think it's potentially very exciting,
20:54but for that whole introduction, VT,
20:56I just couldn't take my eyes off Joel eating a cooking apple.
21:01I found it excruciating.
21:03I had 11.
21:06Let's see the sport.
21:08I can't wait to see this in action.
21:09Up first on Centre Court,
21:11it is Joanna Page versus Alex Horne
21:13and Kamel Nanjiani versus Alex Horne.
21:16I can only use the rackets.
21:19OK.
21:28OK.
21:30Oh, no.
21:32OK.
21:38Back.
21:43Sorry.
21:50What?
21:51I don't even know why he said what, but...
21:53Wait, wait, wait.
21:59It's a relief.
22:15How the hell?
22:17How did this happen?
22:23How did this happen?
22:36Good game.
22:38Good game.
22:39Good game.
22:40You want to do the thing where you jump over?
22:41You want me to jump over?
22:42Don't be able to do that?
22:43Who wins jumps over?
22:44Don't think about it.
22:45Just do it.
22:46Just do it.
22:51How did you find the game?
22:53I mean, I hated it.
22:55I didn't think of the bucket.
22:57That was very smart.
22:58This has sat with me since we did this one, right?
23:00And it's really annoyed me.
23:02And if I was going to do it again, right,
23:03I would have just let you do all the blue balls
23:05and I would have just gone boom, boom, boom, boom,
23:07taking them all out and I would have got the bucket,
23:09run round and then poured them all out
23:10and then I thought I would have fought you.
23:12to the ground or I'd have got your waist and I'd have held you down.
23:19I would have helped you kick his ass.
23:20Yeah.
23:21I mean, I don't think you would need to,
23:23because I would bet the lives of all those dear to me
23:25that Joanna Page could have Alex Hawking.
23:27I could have it.
23:29I could have had Alex if I thought about it more.
23:31Yeah.
23:32I think a trend started during that VT
23:34of me getting distracted by one thing.
23:37In the last one, it was Joel eating cooking apples.
23:40In this one, it was something you said
23:42after a triumphant move.
23:46Woof!
23:48LAUGHTER
23:57Lovely stuff.
23:59Who's next?
23:59Yeah, so they got minus four for Kamel, minus 11 for Joanna,
24:03but there's more to see.
24:04And these two are grouped together pretty often this series,
24:07but they have very different life goals.
24:08It's Amy and Joel.
24:12You may only touch balls with brackets.
24:14You may only touch balls with brackets.
24:16You may only touch balls with brackets.
24:18Oh, I'm so bad at tennis.
24:20Oh, I can touch the bucket, I can touch the bucket.
24:22Oh, what are you doing?
24:23I can touch the bucket.
24:24Yep, that's fine.
24:25Ah!
24:26You may only touch balls with brackets.
24:30Oh!
24:30Oh!
24:32Oh!
24:34Oh!
24:35You've most only touched balls with brackets.
24:38Oh!
24:38Oh, I must only touch balls with brackets.
24:41OK, that makes it better.
24:43You do have two rackets, right?
24:44Oh!
24:45OK.
24:50Oh!
24:56Right, I'm moving.
24:57No!
24:57No!
24:58Stop!
24:59How's it going?
25:00It's pretty good.
25:01Yes?
25:02Yeah.
25:02How are you doing?
25:07Oh, sorry, sorry.
25:09That was very aggressive.
25:13Piss off!
25:14Alex!
25:15I heard that.
25:16Sorry.
25:17Sorry.
25:17Sorry.
25:17Oh, my God.
25:20Oh!
25:26Oh!
25:32Oh!
25:33Thank you, y'all.
25:45Oh!
25:47Oh!
25:48How are you doing, Joel?
25:49Oh!
25:51Oh, that was an absolute slab dunk!
25:54Oh!
25:54You're too horrible.
25:56You're a nasty little boy.
25:58Right.
25:59Do you understand all the rules of the task, Joel?
26:01No, not entirely.
26:02No.
26:03Have I done it bad?
26:03You're supposed to get the blue ones on this side.
26:06You're supposed to have pink ones on this side.
26:08Yeah?
26:08And no blue ones on your side.
26:10Oh!
26:10Hmm.
26:11That's bad.
26:12Yeah.
26:14Oh, no!
26:15Look at this mess!
26:17Oh!
26:18Oh!
26:18God bless you!
26:21Oh, God!
26:25Oh!
26:27Oh!
26:28Oh!
26:30Oh, that's great, Mum.
26:33Did you enjoy that, Amy?
26:35No.
26:35No, I didn't.
26:36There were clues.
26:37Piss!
26:37Oh!
26:38Look at all this mess!
26:42I...
26:42I like you, Alex, but for that, however long that task was,
26:46I hated your guts.
26:48You were so cruel!
26:50You really had the demeanour of a stroppy teenager
26:52who'd been called to tidy a room.
26:54Joel, I don't know how we're going to crush your spirits.
26:58I don't...
27:01You're like a cockroach in a nuclear war.
27:05I don't know what we've got to do to you.
27:07I realised when Alex was telling me the rules
27:10during the game of tennis
27:12that I was breaking all of the rules
27:14because it was such a delicious cooking apple.
27:18What do we do about the fact that he used his hands?
27:20Does he get any points in this task?
27:22Oh, come on.
27:23He's not going to win the series.
27:26LAUGHTER
27:28Right, that's part two, Teched.
27:29We'll see you shortly.
27:34APPLAUSE
27:41Hello, everyone.
27:42It's good to have you back.
27:44That's right.
27:45And I've been told to say I'm especially glad
27:47to see those in the 16-34 demographic.
27:50LAUGHTER
27:52It's...it's recap time.
27:53They had to leave the most pink balls
27:55on my side of the court
27:57at the end of the task
27:57and we'll lose one pink ball
27:59for every blue ball left
28:00on their side of the court.
28:01Here we go.
28:02It's Armando!
28:04Hang on.
28:05I've got to do this.
28:09What are you...
28:11Right.
28:12Look at that.
28:14And then...
28:19I can lob some apples over as well.
28:24Five more seconds.
28:27LAUGHTER
28:29Have I done something wrong?
28:30Huh?
28:31No, of course not.
28:32This is great.
28:32I'm enjoying this thing.
28:34Have I broken you?
28:37How long?
28:38I can move in five seconds.
28:39Oh, no, you can't.
28:41LAUGHTER
28:51Oh!
28:53Oh, I see.
28:54Right.
28:54Keep going.
28:55Keep going.
28:55I don't know, I should have something out there.
28:57LAUGHTER
28:59Played.
28:59Well done.
29:02APPLAUSE
29:06Oh, goodbye, Professor Sleepy.
29:09Dr Gong is in the house!
29:11Dr Gong is in the house!
29:11LAUGHTER
29:12Absolutely spectacular.
29:14And frustrating, from my point of view.
29:15You didn't see that coming.
29:16But it didn't say you had to stay in your half?
29:17No.
29:17Very good.
29:18I have to say it was the most fun I had, all serious.
29:22Just doing it to you.
29:23Did you know that that was the solution to it?
29:26Or did he surprise you?
29:27He surprised...
29:27There's never one solution.
29:28There's always ways.
29:29I know.
29:30Don't give me the whole thing.
29:32LAUGHTER
29:35Finally.
29:38Plus 50 for Armando.
29:40Yeah!
29:41That's bloody good!
29:42Wow!
29:44Canel, minus four.
29:45Four points.
29:45Joanna, minus 11.
29:47Three points.
29:47Joel gets two points for coming fourth.
29:49And Amy gets one point with minus 28.
29:51But it's all about Armando Iannucci.
29:52Well done, Armando.
29:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:57I would love one more.
29:59Pop on your flip-flops and prepare to be penalised.
30:02Mm.
30:16Alex?
30:17I'm getting on the target.
30:19Catch a flip-flop flung from the flip-flop flinger with one foot.
30:24You may not use your hands, you have five attempts.
30:27If you fail, you must do a flip-flop forfeit.
30:31Your time starts now.
30:34Can I remove my trousers?
30:36Yeah.
30:37Do I have to remove my trousers?
30:39Oh, yeah.
30:40No.
30:40No?
30:40It's not flurry accurate, but I'll do my best.
30:43I don't care how flucking accurate it is.
30:46It's all part of the flung.
30:48Like, do you know what I mean?
30:49It's so tight.
30:50Just that the cuff is tight.
30:53So it's with my foot, isn't it?
30:55Yes.
31:03Fail.
31:06Did you catch it?
31:07No!
31:08No?
31:08OK.
31:08All right.
31:10It's stupid.
31:11That's never going to happen.
31:15Ah!
31:17Oh!
31:19Right, there we go.
31:21There's an old Pakistani catching technique called giving birth.
31:25Let's go.
31:27Oh!
31:29Oh!
31:34Oh!
31:35Oh, man!
31:36That's all fly flung.
31:38Oh!
31:39I could have got that one!
31:41It's a floor fit.
31:42It's a floor fit.
31:43If you go to the flip-flop forfeit table over there, I'll meet you in one minute.
31:49Please select a forfeit.
31:51Do you have any recollection of flip-flop forfeits?
31:54I've never heard that term before because you made it up.
31:57You have.
32:00Write down a forfeit for a contestant who does not complete the flip-flop task.
32:07The forfeit that pleases the taskmaster the most wins.
32:20Great.
32:20See you later.
32:21Can't wait to do the flip-flop forfeit some day.
32:29Well, I don't think it's possible to catch a flip-flop on your foot.
32:32Yes, it was impossible.
32:34This is all about the forfeit.
32:35Remember, the forfeit that pleases the taskmaster the most wins.
32:38Let's see Camille and Joanna's forfeits first.
32:42Hmm.
32:44I don't remember what a flip-flop forfeit is.
32:48Plank for as long as possible whilst praising Greg.
32:52One of your fellow contestants wrote that, as you wrote one for them.
32:56Oh, my God.
32:58What did I tell them to do?
33:00God, this is lot.
33:01Oh, my God.
33:03Say I apologise for all the diarrhoea in three different non-English languages while putting on seven jackets.
33:11Seventy-eight jackets?
33:13Are they serious?
33:14Oh, it's seven jackets and they crossed out the eight.
33:21I don't know very much about Greg, but you're very tall.
33:27Seven jackets for you.
33:28Okay.
33:30One size fits all.
33:32Je suis désolé pour la poo-poo.
33:35Now going hoffy and khaki.
33:38There's a show, I think, where you play someone who cleans dead bodies.
33:41Love that show.
33:43So good.
33:46Italian.
33:49Non amore au pou.
33:54Je suis désolé pour le poo-poo avec le jus.
34:00Okay.
34:01You've done the forfeit.
34:04Seem like you take your vitamins.
34:07Uh.
34:08Really?
34:09Oh.
34:13Okay.
34:15You're ready for part two of the forfeit.
34:17Oh, no.
34:18What?
34:22Asterix.
34:24You must give Greg one pound per second of plank.
34:28Two minutes, 47.
34:30So that's 247 pounds?
34:32No, minutes have 60 seconds in this country.
34:39APPLAUSE
34:40Joanna, I think you're wasted in acting when you could have a perfectly good career in global interpreting.
34:46Do you remember what you said for the French one?
34:48Um, le poo-poo avec, with...
34:52Juice.
34:53Avec le jus.
34:54The poo with the juice.
34:55Yeah.
34:55Which I think sounds...
34:56Oh, yes.
34:57Oh, I see.
34:58It's diarrhoea.
34:59It's diarrhoea.
35:00It's the poo with the juice.
35:02Which I thought was really good.
35:04If yours were tested, it would be mainly curly-wurly.
35:07LAUGHTER
35:08Come out.
35:09I presume you have some sweet cash for me.
35:12I've remembered!
35:15It's in Scottish.
35:20Let's talk, Dr Gong.
35:23Is this genuinely Camel's money?
35:25Uh-huh.
35:30I'm keeping it.
35:32Oh, let's see some more.
35:34Amy and Armando are next up to get their comeuppance.
35:42Cook an egg backwards, starting with cooked egg, poached, and ending with egg back in shell.
35:48You must hop at all times.
35:50Thanks.
35:51Thanks?
35:52It's a bit rude to put thanks at the end of that.
35:55Can I look at both?
35:56No? No.
35:56Right.
35:57Well, I'll just do this one, then.
35:58Be slapped once with flip-flop in any strength or manner you so desire.
36:07Do I need to nominate a slapper?
36:09I will be slapping you.
36:09You will be slapping.
36:10OK.
36:10Hello, madam.
36:12Thank you so much.
36:13Cook the egg backwards.
36:15Yeah.
36:15While hopping.
36:16While hopping.
36:18I want you to slap me in the flank.
36:22Yes, sure.
36:22Who do you think came up with this forfeit?
36:24Some wanker.
36:25Some wanker?
36:30Ow!
36:31Er, same place?
36:32A bit lower.
36:34Yeah, that's it.
36:37Pretty good.
36:39Oh, it'd be great if that closed properly.
36:41Urgh, Lord!
36:43You're just wringing out an egg, are you?
36:44Yeah.
36:45Really?
36:45Yeah.
36:50Yes, good.
36:52I will never do it again.
36:53Quite right, too.
36:54Sorry.
36:54Sorry, Mr Alex.
36:57Perfect.
37:04Hmm.
37:05I'm hungry.
37:10I tell you what, Amy, it's a shame you're not getting scored on how well you did the task.
37:14Yeah.
37:14Because you cooked an egg backwards beautifully.
37:17While hopping.
37:17And how about the slapping video?
37:20Actually, I had a twinge there, so it was quite good.
37:22You genuinely both looked like you were having too good a time.
37:26That's the end of part three.
37:27In the final part of the show, someone will win some chocolate, some custard,
37:31or the most worthless thing of all, the Taskmaster Trophy.
37:35We'll see you in a bit.
37:45Oh, hello.
37:46Thank you, and welcome to the final part of the show, and of course, the final forfeit.
37:51Here we go then, all alone, with a self-inflicted forfeit, it's Billy, no mate, Joel.
37:57LAUGHTER
37:59I'm getting this one.
38:02What have you got, Joel?
38:05Listen to Joel Domit's voice for one full hour.
38:09In brackets of book.
38:11From The Masked Centre.
38:12We've recorded Joel Domit's voice.
38:14You're going to listen to it for an hour.
38:17I really wanted someone else to get that.
38:19We'll pop that on.
38:23And let's play Joel Domit from The Masked Scene.
38:27Oh, my God, it's Greg Davies!
38:31From Nevermind the Bodskogs and Taskmaster!
38:36Wow!
38:38Oh, my God!
38:39It's so bad.
38:41It's so bad.
38:42From The Masked Centre.
38:43And from the whole section.
38:46And from the great friends.
38:49Wow!
38:52To your ears!
38:54Keep in love to you all!
38:56Wow!
38:58Oh, my God!
39:00It's Alex Ross!
39:01Good luck.
39:03And from the whole section.
39:14I hope you have a wonderful time with your own life.
39:19Joe.
39:26Oh, man.
39:29It was so bad. Yeah.
39:37Joe.
39:40Why did you still have no trousers on?
39:48Somehow made that whole thing worse, didn't it?
39:51Listening to yourself without any pants,
39:52you're ready for Hollywood, my man!
39:56Oh, it was awful.
39:58And it was just like, over and over, it was like a really short clip
40:01that just kept going over and over again.
40:02Even me speaking now, it's giving me PTSD.
40:06Forever. Forever.
40:07OK, well, I'm going to give one point to Joanna's bottom slap thing,
40:12purely because she made it so easy for it to be a pleasant experience.
40:16Yes, she is too nice for this time.
40:17Whilst I found it incredibly entertaining to watch,
40:20I don't think it was particularly hard to speak foreign languages very badly
40:25and mention poo, two points.
40:28Right.
40:28I think cooking an egg backwards is fiendish, three points.
40:32OK.
40:32I think that Amy has only got four points because I've got a pocket full of cash.
40:37LAUGHTER
40:38But I was watching you on your hands and knees and your pants,
40:41being tortured by your own soul,
40:45and I found myself welling up a little bit.
40:48You mean welling up?
40:51LAUGHTER
40:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:59Oh!
40:59Oh!
41:00Five points to the Broken Boy.
41:03Go on, go on!
41:04Go on, go on!
41:04Yeah!
41:06All right, everyone, please make your way to the stage
41:08for the final task of the show!
41:18Yeah, everyone looks silly apart from Joel.
41:21LAUGHTER
41:22Right then, Greg.
41:23Yeah, who's going to read it?
41:24I think Armando.
41:25Would you like to open it or would you like me to open it?
41:26Oh, hello.
41:27Yes, I could do that.
41:28Put the correct sock on an appendage
41:31and poke it out of the correct hole first.
41:34The fastest each time goes through to the next round
41:37and one person is eliminated each round.
41:40Last player standing wins.
41:43Greg will say a combination of colour of sock
41:46and position of hole.
41:48Top, middle, bottom.
41:49It's then a race to put the correct sock
41:51through the correct hole.
41:53So...
41:54I feel like I should ask a question.
41:56Well, I'll answer it before you answer.
41:58You're not allowed to put a sock on your penis.
42:01LAUGHTER
42:02Are you ready?
42:03Remember, fastest goes through.
42:07Red, top.
42:09LAUGHTER
42:11On the...
42:12Oh, my word.
42:14Shit.
42:15Shit.
42:16OK, it was so close.
42:19I can tell you the first person through round one
42:21is Kamel.
42:22Well done, Kamel.
42:24APPLAUSE
42:24Next.
42:28Yellow, bottom.
42:32Oh!
42:33Oh!
42:33Another quick one!
42:35That was neck and neck between Dr Gong and Joel.
42:39It was between Dr Gong and Joel.
42:41He's come out of there!
42:42LAUGHTER
42:46The next person through is Armando!
42:49APPLAUSE
42:51Are you ready?
42:53Yes.
42:55Green middle!
42:55Joel!
42:58Oh!
42:59No contest.
43:00No contest.
43:01Joel, you're through!
43:02Goal.
43:02Through.
43:03APPLAUSE
43:07Either Joanna or Amy are going out from round one.
43:16Orange top!
43:23The next person through to round two is Joanna.
43:26We have lost Amy Gertel!
43:27APPLAUSE
43:29Poor Amy Gertel!
43:31To signify Amy's out, we're just going to swivel,
43:33so you're now just in prison.
43:36In round two, there are two socks and two positions.
43:39Here we go.
43:40Purple top, red middle.
43:42Purple top and red middle.
43:46Ooh!
43:47And red middle.
43:47And red middle.
43:48Red middle.
43:49Yes!
43:50Oh, yes!
43:52Ah!
43:53It's quite clear that Kamel Nanjani is through to round three.
43:56Well done, Kamel.
43:57CHEERING
43:58You ready?
44:01Orange bottom, green middle.
44:02Orange bottom, green middle.
44:04Orange bottom, green middle.
44:08Ooh!
44:09Comfortably Joel, I would say.
44:10Joel Domit, through to round three.
44:12CHEERING
44:14I think I finally found my vibe.
44:17It's Armando versus Joanna to stay in the game.
44:20Ooh!
44:24Yellow top, yellow bottom.
44:27Oh!
44:30We've lost Joanna.
44:31We have.
44:31We've lost Joanna Payne!
44:33Armando goes through.
44:34You'll be surprised to hear it's three socks.
44:36Three positions.
44:37Oh!
44:40I'd like to reiterate my rule.
44:43You must put one on the penis.
44:46Is that the one?
44:47OK.
44:49Orange top, red top, yellow bottom.
44:54Oh!
44:56Armando got through!
44:58Armando, straight through.
45:00Oh, very slow to Joel.
45:02So it's Camel versus Joel to join Armando in the final.
45:06Top, middle, bottom.
45:09Red, orange, green.
45:11Traffic light.
45:12Red top, orange middle, green bottom.
45:15Red top, amber middle, green bottom.
45:18Oh, look!
45:22Camel, through to the final!
45:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:28So this is the final.
45:29So you've got a phrase there, Greg, on your card.
45:31I will say, you will be using the side windows.
45:33What?!
45:34Both of them, please.
45:35Both of them.
45:40Jazz hands.
45:41Stripey socks.
45:43They've both got to come out.
45:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:53Armando wins five points!
45:55Well...
45:57I'll add that to the final scores.
45:58Come down and join me!
46:03I discovered that Camel had his socks every colour on a holster
46:07around his waist, but he only had one of each.
46:09So when it came to the final, Armando Unucci took it!
46:12Well done, Armando!
46:13Who thought?
46:14Who thought?
46:16So, on we go, final scoreboard.
46:18Do we have a matter to resolve first?
46:19Yes, I can't tell you how she's done yet,
46:21because Amy needs to give you proof that custard has a special property.
46:25Show him your custard.
46:27It's a non-Newtonian fluid.
46:29Does not follow the standard rules of Newtonian fluids like water.
46:33She's right.
46:34There we go!
46:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:37Wow.
46:38So that means Amy does get the full five points for the prize pass.
46:41She does.
46:42And that means that Amy comes last with 13 points.
46:46LAUGHTER
46:50The winner of the episode with 17 points is Armando Iannucci!
46:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:55Armando Iannucci waves!
46:58Please wander up to winch up your winning!
47:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:09MUSIC CONTINUES
47:09MUSIC CONTINUES
47:10MUSIC CONTINUES
Kommentare