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00:02Don't look away
00:16I might just do this all day
00:36I sweat I sweat when I eat I sweat when I sunbathe I sweat when I you know when I
00:42sweat
00:43But most important of all I sweat the small stuff the decisions that will make or break the spirits of
00:49a comedian
00:50So put some more water on the sauna coals and bring me some lemons because things are about to get
00:57hot
00:59Please welcome Amy Gletta
01:16And next to me a man who told me recently in confidence that whenever he walks a dog in his
01:21local neighborhood
01:22He never cleans up her poo and I quote him
01:25What do I care if people get poppy shoes they should watch where they're walking?
01:36Thank you
01:39Hello everyone
01:42Here we are I brought you water Greg for a little team bonding activity up for that
01:47Just drink it how I drink it ready. Yep. Here we go hit it
02:08MUSIC CONTINUES
02:09LAUGHTER
02:16Is that the end of this bit? That's the end of that bit.
02:17LAUGHTER
02:19Every cell in my body wants to chuck this in your face.
02:23Oh, I sort of want you to as well.
02:26LAUGHTER
02:30LAUGHTER
02:33APPLAUSE
02:40Right.
02:42Oh, God. Well, that is an unexpected erection.
02:47LAUGHTER
02:50So, on with the show.
02:52Is it time for the prize category?
02:54Yes.
02:55And the category is the best two things
02:58that become something even better when combined.
03:01Five points for the best combo,
03:03five great combos for the episode winner.
03:05OK, Joel, what two things have you brought in?
03:07I brought in a USB stick with my favourite Christmas song ever on it,
03:13and it's by Sting...
03:16..and Shaggy.
03:18LAUGHTER
03:19They made an album together, and on that album is Silent Night, right?
03:24LAUGHTER
03:24I thought I could sing it for you.
03:27Yeah!
03:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
03:32Thank you, darling.
03:33What are you to do Sting's part?
03:35Oh, typecast again.
03:38LAUGHTER
03:39There's some bells for you, Camille,
03:41and then I'll just come in with Shaggy's part when it's necessary.
03:45OK, go.
03:48Silent night, holy night.
03:54All is calm, all is bright.
04:00To the bye-bye, Shaggy!
04:02LAUGHTER
04:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:13Incredible, Joel.
04:14I think this is strong.
04:16Oh.
04:16Camille.
04:17Hi.
04:18Can you beat Shaggy and Sting?
04:20I'm a man of the world, Greg.
04:22You are?
04:23Pakistani, born and raised, I live in America,
04:26I'm shooting a show in London right now.
04:28Wow.
04:28So, I bridge cultures, that's sort of my cross to bear.
04:32LAUGHTER
04:34So, I've come up with a new dish
04:36that combines two very disparate foods
04:39into one amazing dish.
04:40It's a kebab with strawberry jam.
04:43Mmm!
04:44Invented a new dish.
04:45Hello, Shaggy.
04:46And I would like for you to try it.
04:48LAUGHTER
04:50APPLAUSE
04:52Wow.
04:52It doesn't look great.
04:54It doesn't smell great, if you don't mind me saying it.
04:56Well, I should tell you, the name of the dish is Racial Harmony.
04:59LAUGHTER
05:01So, if you don't like it, I'd like you to tell me
05:04you're not a fan of Racial Harmony.
05:06LAUGHTER
05:06I didn't think I'd ever say this,
05:07but Racial Harmony makes me feel sick.
05:11LAUGHTER
05:13Do you want to have a little nibble of this?
05:15Yes.
05:17LAUGHTER
05:19Down in one.
05:21LAUGHTER
05:21All of it.
05:23Oh, God.
05:24Oh, baby girl.
05:25Mmm.
05:27LAUGHTER
05:28What was in the room?
05:30What do you think?
05:32Yeah, we'll never have that again.
05:34Never have that again.
05:35LAUGHTER
05:36We've had it confirmed, it's disgusting,
05:37so it's not looking good.
05:40LAUGHTER
05:40Pop it in your drawer.
05:41Yeah, what am I drawer?
05:42Hello, Amy.
05:43Hello.
05:44How are you going to beat that?
05:45I tell you how I'm going to beat it.
05:46With a...with a glock.
05:48Or a four.
05:49A four.
05:50Yeah, so, if you've ever been eating anything,
05:53I can't get this in my mouth quick enough.
05:56LAUGHTER
05:58Well, that is where the glock comes in.
06:01It's a glove and a fork.
06:03OK.
06:03Who's using a knife and fork these days?
06:06That's a thing of the past.
06:07It's a glock, it's glock time.
06:09You want to see the glock?
06:10Oh, my God, it's glock o'clock.
06:13LAUGHTER
06:16It's a lovely, chic glove,
06:19and then chip, chip, chip.
06:21You could fit, like, three chips on chip, chip, chip.
06:23One finger, ah.
06:24Chip, chip, chip.
06:25I like the starting point.
06:26I'm not sure the reality is any better than racial harmony.
06:29LAUGHTER
06:30Armando, can you beat this?
06:32Obviously.
06:34It's a song featuring Lou Reed and the Wombles.
06:38It's not.
06:39LAUGHTER
06:41It's not.
06:43I just was about to write Armando five points.
06:46LAUGHTER
06:49It's very beautiful.
06:50It's two completely contrasting things which, when put together,
06:54creates this natural phenomenon.
06:55It's sunshine and shit.
06:57LAUGHTER
06:58Have a look at this, Chris.
06:59Here you go, here.
06:59It's beautiful.
07:00There's a soap dispenser.
07:01Yep.
07:01So here comes the sun.
07:04LAUGHTER
07:08It's good.
07:10They win the soap dispenser today, the pigeon.
07:12Yeah.
07:13And the sun, I think.
07:14Oh.
07:15LAUGHTER
07:15Joanna.
07:17I have brought in my own tongue and a box of popping candy.
07:23Because when I was young, right, it was really hard to get home.
07:25There we go.
07:26We're in the 1980s, right, in Swansea.
07:30And now I've discovered, oh, my God, you can just buy it on the internet.
07:33I went online and I got a box of about, like, 45 or something, or about 28.
07:38I've got loads and it's really nice.
07:41You know when you pour that on your tongue?
07:43LAUGHTER
07:43There's that little...
07:46It feels amazing.
07:47So that's why I love popping candy.
07:49Yeah, she's brought in popping candies, the short answer.
07:51And a fake tongue.
07:52There we go.
07:53LAUGHTER
07:53I mean, I've got to say, it's great stuff, isn't it?
07:56Thank you, Joanna.
07:57So, one point, the glauque.
08:00The glauque.
08:00Well done, Amy.
08:00One to Amy.
08:01Two points to the kebab meat.
08:03What?
08:05With jam on it.
08:06Call it by its name.
08:08LAUGHTER
08:13OK, the second worst thing I've seen today is racial harmony.
08:16LAUGHTER
08:19Some popping candy in a tongue is better than racial harmony.
08:22Three points.
08:25You didn't invent the plopping pigeon, but it's a wonderful thing,
08:29and I wish I had it, so I will give it four points.
08:31And, I mean, how can I not put Sting and Shaggy,
08:35a wonderful example of musical and racial harmony?
08:39LAUGHTER
08:40Five points!
08:41Five points for Joel Dover.
08:43APPLAUSE
08:46Task time!
08:49Oh...
08:49Well, this really is...
08:51very exciting.
09:06I'm back.
09:08Alex, come out.
09:10Hiya!
09:11Hello, Joanna.
09:12Ooh!
09:13The drill!
09:15Yeah, no, you won't be needing that.
09:16I'm so sorry.
09:19Oh...
09:19Sorry, that shouldn't be there.
09:21Oh, really?
09:21Sorry, Joanna.
09:22Can I have a go on it first?
09:23Of course, yeah.
09:24Oh, God, no, I'm not going to, actually,
09:26because it might say if you touch the drill,
09:28I'm not having anything hampering me.
09:29LAUGHTER
09:30All right, here we go.
09:31Make something boring exciting.
09:35Most exciting boring thing wins.
09:37You have 20 minutes.
09:38Your time starts now.
09:41Watching somebody sleeping is pretty boring,
09:43but I think for some people it can be very exciting.
09:45LAUGHTER
09:46Like, if they don't know,
09:48that seems exciting.
09:51Don't put that in the show.
09:53LAUGHTER
09:53What do you find boring, Amy?
09:55Wood.
09:55Planks of wood.
09:57Rocks.
09:58I like rocks.
09:59I don't think they're boring.
10:00You don't think rocks are boring?
10:02No.
10:02Oh, Alex.
10:06OK, this is my first thing, right,
10:08because this is something that I do get worried about,
10:10and I'm very nervous about the whole thing, right,
10:12because I'm not a comedian, I don't do stand-up,
10:15and so I'm boring, and I'm going to say, me, me.
10:19Right, so we need to make you exciting.
10:21I thought this was exciting, my announcement.
10:24See?
10:25You think you're finished?
10:26Yeah.
10:26Yeah.
10:28APPLAUSE
10:33Kamal, are you fine watching people when they sleep?
10:36Exciting.
10:37But it's only exciting when they don't know.
10:40Yeah, what's the point if they know?
10:43LAUGHTER
10:45OK, we're going to start with Armando and Joando.
10:48LAUGHTER
11:00Come on, Alex.
11:02Let's go and show them what exciting really is.
11:07BELL RINGS
11:08Come on.
11:11Greg, I'm coming for you!
11:14Ready?
11:15I'm ready.
11:15OK.
11:16So most books are categorised by a system called the Duodecibel System,
11:20which, though effective, is a bit dull.
11:23So this is an attempt to make the act of book categorisation
11:30much more exciting by doing it in rhyme.
11:32OK?
11:33OK.
11:35Tell you what's boring, categorising books.
11:38Let's add some pizazz, so it's more exciting than it looks.
11:42I don't care about the rules.
11:44Yeah.
11:44And you know why?
11:46Because I'm exciting and I'm wild.
11:48This is poems by Tennyson, so poems with titles that rhyme with venison.
11:55This one's green and mouldy, so it's on the shelf of books that are oldie.
12:00AHHHHH!
12:14I'm finally out with a bang, categorising Joey and the Blackbird Gang.
12:19I hope you've enjoyed this attempt to sell categorisation of books
12:24that isn't Duodecibel.
12:28BUZZER
12:28BUZZER
12:29BUZZER
12:29HUH, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!
12:35REEEY!!
12:36REEEY!
12:36REEEY!
12:38REEEY!
12:38REEEY!
12:40REEEY!
12:40REEEY!
12:40REEEY!
12:41REEEY!
12:42REEEY!
12:47Armanda, yes?
12:48Titsing a mother of four smashing a 1,500 pound sheep...
12:53REEEY!
12:53REEEY!
12:54your new book categorisation system into perspective.
13:00Yeah. It's terrible, isn't it?
13:02Because after I did that, I thought, oh, I've done really well.
13:07Did you feel free, Joanna? I felt incredibly free.
13:10It was very exhilarating. I really enjoyed it.
13:13But I do feel bad now because he hasn't got a face,
13:15but I didn't feel bad then. She was wrecked.
13:19Part one is done. Goodbye.
13:24MUSIC
13:32Hello. Welcome back to Trustmaster,
13:35where things are definitely not dull.
13:38Never, because everyone is trying their very best
13:40to make something boring exciting.
13:42Next up, they were both born in the 1980s,
13:44so they're a little bit younger than the others,
13:46but they're also not that young. It's Amy and Joel.
13:50LAUGHTER
13:53Standard boring plank of wood.
13:55Yeah? OK.
13:56Yeah? You ready? I'm ready.
13:58No peeping.
14:03Countdown for me.
14:05All right, here we go.
14:05From 100.
14:07100.
14:08More exciting.
14:0999.
14:1098.
14:14Are you ready to be excited?
14:16I really am.
14:1829.
14:1928.
14:20I regret the 100.
14:2127.
14:22OK.
14:24Not just a boring plank anymore.
14:25It's a sexy lady.
14:28Woo!
14:29And look at that.
14:30She's got boobies, Alex.
14:32Yeah, I can see that.
14:33See that?
14:33Yeah.
14:37It's me another bit.
14:39Five, four, three, two, one, zero!
15:02Come on.
15:03Yeah.
15:08It's on fire.
15:10Yeah.
15:20I wasn't convinced by the plank of woods when I first saw it, but as soon as the boob reveal
15:25happened, I was just transported back to those pens when you were a kid.
15:30Which, genuinely, first sexual experience for me.
15:33So, erm...
15:35I thought the sexy plank lady was brilliant.
15:37Great.
15:37There you go.
15:38Joel.
15:39I've never seen a boy so happy.
15:42Oh, my Lord.
15:43Since I saw the pens when I was growing up.
15:47I've never made a face like that.
15:51Well, it's time for the final attempt.
15:52On the big screen, Kamal has played a genetically engineered, cosmic-powered, near-immortal superhero in a global franchise.
15:58He's also spent 20 minutes doing this.
16:02LAUGHTER
16:03APPLAUSE
16:04MUSIC PLAYS
16:05MUSIC PLAYS
16:12WHEGLE
16:15MUSIC PLAYS
16:17MUSIC PLAYS
16:21Oh, my God.
17:00Good? Did we get it?
17:19It was very creative.
17:21And it was very exhausting running with all those things.
17:26That pineapple is very heavy.
17:29What are these muscles for?
17:31Decorative.
17:32LAUGHTER
17:34Well, I'm going to give poor Armando just one point,
17:37but I did think it was sort of adorable, Armando, I will say that.
17:40Thanks.
17:40Then there's a gulf between Armandos and the next person.
17:43I'm giving Tip Plank three points.
17:46LAUGHTER
17:47Moving up, I'm going to give you four points.
17:50There's a lot of imagination went into it,
17:52but I'm giving Joel's spinning bear heads five points.
17:56OK.
17:56And I'm also giving Joanna, liberating herself by smashing a sheep,
18:00five points.
18:01Well, thank you, Joanna.
18:04APPLAUSE
18:09Hey, baby boy, what's the scores?
18:10Well, she was winning the series, but she's losing the episode.
18:14Amy's in last place.
18:15He was losing the series, but he's winning the episode.
18:17Joel's in first place with ten points.
18:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:24All change.
18:26Estive claire une autre tache.
18:28Ah oui, monsieur, eh, qu'est-ce qu'elle est manger?
18:41Oh-ho!
18:44This is nice.
18:45A banquet.
18:47You may sit down.
18:48Thank you so much.
18:49Ooh!
18:49It's lower than you expect.
18:54That was much lower than I was expecting.
18:58Yeah, you don't look very big.
18:59No.
19:00People have said that.
19:02Oh!
19:03Oh, look, a clash.
19:05Oh, we're just adjusting the cameras to get your height.
19:07Yeah.
19:08Did this happen with anyone else?
19:10No.
19:10Just me.
19:11You set this up for me.
19:13I'm just going to get the child's tripod.
19:16Oh.
19:17Ooh, a leather.
19:19Sounds weird against an old chair.
19:24Right, you can open the task, but not the...
19:28Not the cloche.
19:30Not the cloche.
19:31I wouldn't dare.
19:31I'm claustrophobic.
19:36I'm claustrophobic.
19:37Work out what food is under the cloche.
19:41When you've done that, and only when you have done that, you must remove the cloche and eat the food.
19:49Alex will always incorrectly answer your previous question.
19:55And you must not repeat questions.
19:58Fastest wins.
20:00Your time starts now.
20:02I'm not good at these ones.
20:04I know.
20:10Well, I'll tell you now, I didn't mind claustrophobic at all.
20:14Oh!
20:15Not at all.
20:16Let's get on with it.
20:17I can't wait to see them.
20:18It sounds simpler than they found it.
20:20Right.
20:21Mr Nanjiani and Miss Gledhill are our first competitors to find out what nosh is under the cloche.
20:28Is this food dairy?
20:31I'm not going to answer that question.
20:36Is it a dessert?
20:38Is it a sandwich?
20:40It is definitely never a dessert.
20:43So it's a dessert.
20:45Could you feed this food to a baby?
20:48No.
20:48None of it has come from a cow.
20:51Is it sweet?
20:53It would kill a baby.
20:54So it's milky and a baby could eat it.
20:58Can I get a pen?
21:00No.
21:00Nothing about it is sweet.
21:04Is it a vegetable?
21:05No.
21:08So it is sweet.
21:10Is it custard?
21:13Yes.
21:14Is it a cow?
21:15No.
21:19Is it custard?
21:20Yep.
21:21Is it jelly?
21:22No.
21:23No.
21:25It's custard.
21:26I think it's custard.
21:28Are you asking me a question?
21:30Is it a food that rhymes with kernel mustard?
21:34Yes.
21:35Is it ten feet tall?
21:36No, it's not.
21:37But you can't open the cloche.
21:39Yes, it's jelly.
21:40And you can't open it yet.
21:42But you said it was custard.
21:44Is it made up of two parts?
21:46Yes.
21:47Is it alive?
21:48No.
21:49Yes.
21:50Custard and...
21:51What would you have done?
21:53Is it savoury?
21:54Yes.
21:55Is it ham?
21:57No.
21:57So it is savoury.
21:59Could you dip your finger into it and eat it that way?
22:03Always.
22:04Is it salsa?
22:05No.
22:06Oh, you could dip your finger into it.
22:08Is it green?
22:08Yes.
22:09Is it yellow?
22:10Yes.
22:10Is it purple?
22:11No.
22:12Ah!
22:13Savoury and yellow.
22:14Is it tomato ketchup?
22:17Yes.
22:17Is it spicy?
22:18No.
22:19Is it mustard?
22:21No.
22:22Ah!
22:22Is it mustard?
22:23Yes.
22:24Is it hot sauce?
22:25No.
22:25It's mustard.
22:27Is it custard and mustard?
22:28No, you can't open that.
22:30Ah!
22:31Custard and mustard?
22:32Yes, it's hot sauce.
22:33I'm going to open it.
22:38Oh my god!
22:40It's mustard and mustard!
22:42You have to eat it and then I'll stop the clock.
22:44I'm going to eat it together.
22:45Because fuck you.
22:52That was so much worse than I was ready for.
22:59That was a spicy boy.
23:01Do you want me to stop the clock?
23:02Yeah, stop the goddamn clock.
23:05BUZZER
23:05BUZZER
23:06BUZZER
23:07Woo!
23:08Yeah.
23:09APPLAUSE
23:11I've got it ended beautifully with the two quotes.
23:14Ooh, it's a spicy boy.
23:16And I'm going to eat them together because fuck you.
23:22Do you want me to tell you who was the slowest?
23:24Yes.
23:25The slowest just was Kamal.
23:2735 minutes, 56 seconds.
23:3035 minutes I did that?
23:32And 56 seconds.
23:34And weirdly, you've done it pretty well.
23:36Oh my...
23:38LAUGHTER
23:39Amy asked twice as many questions as you, but she asked a question every 11 seconds.
23:4533 minutes and 25 seconds.
23:48Wow!
23:49Well, now for two super-switched-on guys.
23:52There are Mando and Joel.
23:55Is it...
23:56Is it meat?
23:58Is it bird-based?
23:59It is, yes.
24:01Is it an egg?
24:03No.
24:04Wait, wait, what did you say no to?
24:06Wait, what did you say?
24:07Wait, wait, wait, wait.
24:08What did I ask?
24:09Have you ever thought about simplifying the rules?
24:11Yes, cabbage.
24:16Is it chips?
24:17Yes.
24:19What was my last one?
24:20Yes, it's chips.
24:22Was that a question?
24:22Is it trifle?
24:23Yes.
24:25Is it ice cream?
24:26Nothing to do with trifle.
24:29It's trifle then.
24:30No similarities.
24:32LAUGHTER
24:35What?
24:35Put it back on.
24:37You still don't know exactly what it is.
24:38Keep going.
24:39Do you enjoy them with vinegar?
24:43Yes, it's chips still.
24:46It's...
24:46It's chips?
24:48Yes.
24:51No, what are you doing?
24:52Oh, what?
24:54I thought I was supposed to say what it was in an opening.
24:57You have seen it now.
24:59No, I haven't.
25:00Will this stop if I...
25:10Is it custard?
25:11No.
25:12If you stab your eye with a fork, we'll carry on.
25:19Oh!
25:22Oh!
25:24Oh!
25:27Oh!
25:29Oh!
25:30Oh!
25:31Oh!
25:32Oh!
25:32Oh!
25:42Oh, God!
25:46Is it custard in one bowl and mustard in another bowl?
25:50Yes.
25:57It's custard and mustard.
25:59Is this a flour?
26:00No, it's definitely not.
26:01Oh, so...
26:02So that's yes.
26:03So it's mustard and custard.
26:05You can now open the cloche and eat it.
26:09I've stopped the clock.
26:12Oh!
26:14I think I need to, like, seriously go back to school or something.
26:25What I don't understand was it got harder after I'd seen it.
26:30That's the bit...
26:31You were both quicker than the outside, too.
26:34But they looked at the food.
26:36Yeah.
26:36Exactly, yeah.
26:37Armando looked at it after ten minutes and got it right after 21.
26:41LAUGHTER
26:43Joel...
26:43Joel looked after six minutes and got it right after 26 and a half minutes.
26:47LAUGHTER
26:48Neither of them got it right in the end.
26:50They both looked again to get it right.
26:51So they get nothing?
26:53I imagine so.
26:54Yeah.
26:55Time for a break.
26:56Put that phone down.
26:57No doom scrolling.
26:58Stand up, stretch your legs, go into the garden and shout,
27:00I am alive into the night sky.
27:02I mean it.
27:03Do it now.
27:14Hello!
27:15Yes, it's part three and it's an incredibly irritating Tuscan play.
27:19All the contestants have to do is work out what food is under the cloche,
27:23whereas I have to answer their previous question incorrectly.
27:26Hashtag hard for horn.
27:27And...
27:28LAUGHTER
27:30There's just one person left.
27:33It's the final page.
27:35It's Joanna.
27:36Right, there's got...
27:37I can lift it and see how heavy it is.
27:39Ooh, it's very light.
27:42I can smell it.
27:45I can smell it.
27:46I can smell it.
27:46It's savoury.
27:47Is it savoury?
27:48Is it sweet?
27:50No.
27:51Yes, it's savoury.
27:55Ugh.
27:56I don't like it.
27:56It's not that nice.
27:57Is it runny?
27:59Yes.
28:00Is it hot?
28:01Ooh, no.
28:05No.
28:07Well, that means it's half and half then.
28:09Is it?
28:10Is it?
28:11Is it?
28:12Is it?
28:13Yellow?
28:14Yes.
28:14Yes.
28:14Is it cheese?
28:16No.
28:17What the hell is yellow and runny?
28:19Is it custard?
28:20Yes.
28:21And baked beans?
28:22No, don't lift up the cloth.
28:24It's custard.
28:25It's custard.
28:26But there's some other thing with it.
28:28Which is savoury.
28:29But it smells.
28:31It smells horrible.
28:32It smells of a bit like salad cream.
28:35I'm just going to say some things.
28:36You're right.
28:37It's mustard or something.
28:38You just said something.
28:41I've been saying custard.
28:43And you just said mustard.
28:46I'm making a guess.
28:48It's custard and mustard.
28:50You may open the cloth.
28:53Look, you managed to stack them.
28:56God, it stinks.
28:58Will you hold my nose for me, please?
28:59I'd love to.
29:00OK.
29:01Got it.
29:01OK.
29:02One, two, three, go.
29:03Oh, my God.
29:04I rolled them up.
29:05Oh, my God.
29:06I did the...
29:07I'll start with that.
29:08All right.
29:10APPLAUSE
29:16Well, I mean, let's say it as it is.
29:19Someone fucked up.
29:21He sabotaged it.
29:22I was doing so well.
29:23No, he gave you the answer.
29:24He didn't sabotage it.
29:26The shaking system was good.
29:28Mm-hm.
29:28Did you?
29:28Yeah, the shaking was a good strategy.
29:30You know what was a better strategy?
29:31Having you tell her the answer.
29:33LAUGHTER
29:35I mean, we're going to have to allow it,
29:37because it's his mistake, not Joanna's, so...
29:39But how did she do?
29:40She won.
29:41She did really well.
29:42Well done, Joanna.
29:43Yeah.
29:43Of course she did.
29:49Armando and Joel both cheated.
29:51Very naughty boys, so zero points each.
29:53Three to Kamil, four to Amy, and five to Joanna Payne.
29:56APPLAUSE
29:59Difficult task, isn't it?
30:00Difficult task.
30:00Yeah.
30:01All you have to do is ask one question.
30:03Yeah.
30:04Because I had to answer every question incorrectly.
30:06If you'd asked me what wasn't under the cloche,
30:08I would have told you there was mustard and custard.
30:12Done.
30:13Doesn't matter.
30:14Alex.
30:15Oh, God!
30:17Alex, you must fuck yourself.
30:20LAUGHTER
30:21On that.
30:22On that.
30:23APPLAUSE
30:28Let's task again.
30:29Like we did last summer, but for now, we're back in the lab,
30:32and it's everyone's favourite type of test.
30:34Multiple choice.
30:35MUSIC PLAYS
30:46Alex.
30:48Hello there.
30:51OK.
30:54Oh, jeez.
30:55Phil did that one.
30:56Two tasks.
30:58Pardon?
31:01Oh!
31:02Three tasks!
31:05If you opened this task first, you must pop the balloon,
31:08then open another task.
31:10Am I allowed to open this?
31:11Because I...
31:11You've got a choice of three to open.
31:14If you open this task first, you must spin 360 degrees...
31:19Ten times, then open another task.
31:21Well, I'm not going to do that.
31:22If you open this task first, you must completely cover...
31:26..the balloon in tinfoil.
31:28Then open another task.
31:30What are you thinking?
31:32I'm...
31:33I'm...
31:33I'm not really.
31:35LAUGHTER
31:36I think I've realised that's not really my vibe.
31:42APPLAUSE
31:44Let's see if I can do some stuff for you.
31:46OK, well, first, just like my third favourite battery,
31:49it's double A, Armando and Amy.
31:51And just so you know, my second favourite battery is a C
31:53because they're manly,
31:54and my favourite is a triple A because they're cute.
31:56Here we go.
31:57Yeah, I'm going to do the balloon first.
32:00Complete all three tasks.
32:01Fastest wins and you must inflect your voice
32:03at the end of every sentence you say.
32:06Fastest wins and you must end every sentence with the word mate.
32:10Your time starts now.
32:11Mate.
32:12If you open this task first, you must pop the balloon,
32:15then open another task, mate.
32:21I'm scared of popping balloons, mate.
32:23Oh, right.
32:24Ooh!
32:26Mate!
32:27Oh!
32:30Mate!
32:33If you open this task second,
32:34you must put the tin foil and all the dice in the jar,
32:37seal the jar, then open another task.
32:39OK, mate.
32:42Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:44Right.
32:44I've not quite got the inflection.
32:46I've not quite got the inflection.
32:52I've not quite got the inflection.
32:53Two tasks done.
32:54Done.
32:54Two tasks done.
32:55Ah.
32:57If you open this task third,
32:59you must eat a yellow sweet,
33:00then you are finished, mate.
33:02A yellow sweet, then you're finished.
33:07Oh, you fucker mate.
33:09Is it one of these dice?
33:12It probably would be, wouldn't it?
33:13Hang on, I'll do this a bit more carefully.
33:20That was aggressive.
33:21Sorry about that, mate.
33:23Does it look like a yellow dice?
33:26Dice?
33:28Dice is nice.
33:31Oh!
33:33Oh!
33:34Oh!
33:37OK.
33:38I have to eat the whole thing.
33:39Yeah, don't choke.
33:40Don't choke.
33:41OK.
33:41Mate.
33:43I'm just going to look for a yellow sweet.
33:51I've got the corner, mate.
33:53Thanks, mate.
33:56Where did you go?
33:58I can't remember, but the good news is I found a yellow sweet.
34:02So, I'll just eat that.
34:07Where did you find it?
34:10Wrapped round a banana.
34:13So, the cock?
34:15APPLAUSE
34:22I thought until you found a sweet, Amy,
34:25I thought we'd finally broken you.
34:27LAUGHTER
34:27There was one mate that I said, not in my accent,
34:30and that's when I knew I was angry, because I said,
34:32MATE!
34:33LAUGHTER
34:34What did Armando eat at the end?
34:36LAUGHTER
34:37It was a yellow sweet.
34:38I mean...
34:39Well, you said it was previously wrapped around a banana.
34:41It was...
34:42Banana-flavoured yellow.
34:43You'd scratch the banana skin off and try to pass it off as a sweet.
34:46LAUGHTER
34:47Wait, so that was not a sweet?
34:49It looked like a sweet, didn't it? Yeah.
34:51Tasted like a sweet.
34:53Well, what was it?
34:54It was banana skin.
34:56It was banana skin.
34:56Why did you not take a piece of the actual banana?
34:59Yeah.
34:59Why is it the skin?
35:00LAUGHTER
35:01Why is it the only non-edible part?
35:04LAUGHTER
35:05I'll tell you this.
35:06You could make an argument that I should disqualify him for that,
35:09but I'm not going to, because the whole thing broke my heart.
35:12LAUGHTER
35:13LAUGHTER
35:16Two more?
35:16Two more!
35:17And now it's two stars from the 2020 film Doolittle.
35:21It is Joanna and Kumail, who are both in Doolittle.
35:23Aww.
35:24What?
35:25LAUGHTER
35:26I'm going to just do this.
35:27Fine.
35:28Yeah.
35:28Complete all three tasks, fastest wins, and you must say,
35:31I am Kumail Nanjiani at the end of every sentence.
35:35That comes very naturally to me.
35:36I'm Kumail Nanjiani.
35:38And you must exhale and shake your head at the end of every sentence you say,
35:43Your time starts now.
35:46LAUGHTER
35:46If you open this task first, you must spin 360 degrees ten times,
35:51then open another task.
35:53LAUGHTER
35:53You must completely cover the balloon in tinfoil,
35:55then open another task.
35:56I'm Kumail Nanjiani.
35:58One, two, three, four...
36:04Cool.
36:05One done.
36:06I'm Kumail Nanjiani.
36:08Nine.
36:08Ten.
36:09I'm impressed.
36:11OK, I'm going to go for this one.
36:13If you open this task second, you must spin 360 degrees twenty times,
36:18then open another task.
36:20I'm Kumail Nanjiani.
36:21If you open this task second, you must put the tinfoil and all the dice in the jar.
36:30Oh, my God.
36:31I'm assuming it's...
36:33Ah!
36:33Ah!
36:34Ah!
36:35Ah!
36:35Ah!
36:37One.
36:39Two.
36:40Three.
36:41Four.
36:41Five.
36:42Oh, and I've just found a sweet, but it didn't say to put the sweets in,
36:45so I'm keeping that because I probably need that for later on.
36:49I'm Kumail Nanjiani.
36:51I'm Kumail Nanjiani.
36:53I'm Kumail Nanjiani.
36:56I'm Kumail Nanjiani.
36:58I'm Kumail Nanjiani.
36:59If you open this task third, you must wrap the yellow sweet in the tin foil.
37:05Then you are finished.
37:08You must eat a yellow sweet, then you are finished.
37:11I'm Kumail Nanjiani.
37:15Oh, that's not a yellow sweet, is it?
37:18I'm Kumail Nanjiani.
37:19It's a pink sweet, right?
37:22Right.
37:22So I'm going to suck this one because it might be a changing one.
37:28Where is our sweet?
37:30There's a sweet somewhere, but where?
37:34Where is it?
37:42Even an idiot would have to agree that's a yellow sweet.
37:44I'm Kumail Nanjiani.
37:46What have we got?
37:47This is weird.
37:52Right.
37:54I'm going to take this apart.
37:56Oh, my God.
37:57I'm sorry.
37:58I'm quite astounded by my own thinking.
38:00I am absolutely an utterly chap.
38:03I've stopped the clock.
38:04Flipping it.
38:05I'm chuffed.
38:06I'm chuffed.
38:07I'm chuffed.
38:08I'm chuffed.
38:12I couldn't quite tell what sort of mood Joanna was in at the end of that.
38:15No, that's right.
38:16Yeah.
38:17It was utter relief.
38:19Yeah.
38:19Yes.
38:19I think I went in, like, cameramen's pockets and stuff.
38:22I was searching, like, everyone.
38:24Kamail.
38:26Greg.
38:26Were you asked to say your name in the style of Roger Moore?
38:31I can't help it.
38:32I'm Kamail Nanjiani.
38:34OK.
38:35Time for the final ad break.
38:37Today's episode will end with somebody celebrating on stage with a jammy kebab and a prosthetic tongue.
38:43Oh!
38:44I love jam.
38:45He does.
38:45He loves jam.
38:46See you later.
38:48See you later.
38:57Hello!
38:59It's the final part of the show and we need to finish what we've started in the lab.
39:03Our guys had to complete three tasks which they could tackle in whichever order they liked.
39:08One person left.
39:09He's part man.
39:10He's part egg.
39:11He's Joel...
39:12Domlet.
39:17Complete all three tasks.
39:19Fastest wins and you must repeat the last two words of every sentence you say, you say.
39:24Your time starts now.
39:25Starts now.
39:26Must pop the balloon.
39:27Then open another task.
39:28Another task.
39:33You must eat a red sweet and then open another task.
39:38Another task.
39:39Red sweet.
39:40Red sweet.
39:42Is there a red sweet in here?
39:43You're looking for a red sweet.
39:45I'm looking for a red sweet.
39:46Red sweet.
39:50You're thinking about eating the wax?
39:52I'm thinking about eating the wax.
39:56That's your red sweet, is it?
40:01That nice.
40:04Mmm.
40:05Okay, so we're saying you've done two tasks.
40:07Can't wait for that waxy poop.
40:09If you open this task third, you must spin 360 degrees 30 times then you're finished.
40:15Yes!
40:15I love this stuff.
40:16I love it.
40:16Here we go.
40:20I've just seen the red sweet.
40:28One.
40:29Two.
40:30Three.
40:31Four.
40:32Five.
40:33Six.
40:33Seven.
40:34Eight.
40:34Seven.
40:34Seven.
40:35Four.
40:35Two.
40:35Six.
40:36Five.
40:3726.
40:3727.
40:3928.
40:4029.
40:52You started so fast.
40:54I know.
41:00Look, this episode, I think we've learnt there's a lot of things I'm not good at.
41:06And spinning, I'm good at that.
41:08You were really good at it.
41:10I mean, you were so good you'd spun more than 30 times.
41:12Did you have to say the last two words for the whole thing?
41:15He was meant to, you're right, Kamau, and after eating the wax seal he stopped saying the end of the
41:20sentence again.
41:21But I imagine Greg didn't mind because he liked the spinning so much.
41:24I was just chicken.
41:24He just...
41:25Do you mind about him not repeating the word for you?
41:27I don't mind because he, um, spun so many times.
41:30LAUGHTER
41:31So it doesn't matter if you do the task or not?
41:34Not really.
41:35OK.
41:37LAUGHTER
41:38Here are the scores.
41:39Joanna, you were actually the slowest.
41:4111 minutes 30, so it's one point for you.
41:43Armando next, 9 minutes 12, including banana skin.
41:48LAUGHTER
41:48We'll allow it.
41:49Amy gets 3 points, 6 minutes 5 seconds, so it's between Kamau and Joel.
41:54One of you took 5 minutes 40, the other 4 minutes 57.
41:59LAUGHTER
42:02Joel, you get 5 points.
42:04Oh!
42:054 minutes 57, Kamau gets 4 points in second place!
42:08Oh!
42:09Well done Joel, on it!
42:15Gosh.
42:17That does seem grossly unfair.
42:20Please make you wait to the stage for the final task of the show!
42:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:31Hello.
42:34Well then, my boy, who will be reading out the task?
42:37I'm your baby boy, Amy Gledhill.
42:39Thank you, baby boy.
42:41LAUGHTER
42:42Be the first to communicate the item to your team.
42:47You must not make any noise.
42:49You must use your pencil and ball,
42:51and you must stare at both throughout.
42:54You must stay on your spots at all times.
42:58Best team of communicators after five rounds wins.
43:02Fantastic.
43:03Is this a task where we have to follow the rules?
43:07LAUGHTER
43:09We're going to come over and show Amy and Joanna the first item.
43:14This is the first one.
43:15Ready?
43:17It's like charades.
43:18It is charades.
43:21So, remember, no noise.
43:22You must use your items and stare at them.
43:25Ready?
43:26Ready?
43:27WHISTLE BLOWS
43:30Dog.
43:31Bowling.
43:32Dog's right!
43:32Austin!
43:33Oh.
43:34Right.
43:34It's a quick one and they're 1-0 up.
43:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:37Yeah.
43:37Good.
43:39OK.
43:41Ready?
43:46Don't look.
43:49Different reactions.
43:51Round two.
43:521-0 to the team of two.
43:53WHISTLE BLOWS
43:53Shout it out.
43:54Canoe.
43:55Rowing.
43:58Gondola.
43:59Gondola.
44:00Gondola.
44:01Gondola.
44:01Canoe.
44:02Ship.
44:02Canoe.
44:03Venice.
44:04Pirate ship.
44:05Sea.
44:05Sailing.
44:07The stream.
44:08The ocean.
44:09The ocean.
44:10Ocean.
44:12Ocean.
44:12Ocean!
44:14She's out of us.
44:14She's out of us.
44:15She's out of us.
44:16She's out of us.
44:16She did say ocean first.
44:17The gallery are actually checking it.
44:19Yep.
44:19Because here, we're all about the rule.
44:22LAUGHTER
44:24We have analysed the footage and the fastest team was...
44:29Joanna and Armando.
44:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:33So please sit down again.
44:35You're 2-0 up.
44:37One more will get you the win, but how big were the winners?
44:39Hello again.
44:40Hello.
44:40I'm bad at this.
44:42No, you won't be.
44:43You're in movies.
44:44You can do this.
44:46LAUGHTER
44:46Where's your Camel Nanjiani?
44:49I'm ready.
44:50Go.
44:55Please stay on your spot, Camel.
44:56The rules.
44:58Corn.
44:59Corn.
44:59Corn.
45:00Corn.
45:00Corn.
45:00Corn.
45:00Nice and silent.
45:01Pork.
45:02Nice and silent.
45:03Pork.
45:04Nice and silent.
45:11Pork.
45:11Food.
45:12Spaghetti.
45:13Yes!
45:14It is spaghetti!
45:15Incredible.
45:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:19Just about.
45:20That was great.
45:21Switch round.
45:22It's 2-1.
45:23They're back in it.
45:24Back in it.
45:25OK.
45:25Hello Armando.
45:26Hi Alex.
45:27Don't give anything away when you see it.
45:28Is that all right?
45:39Please look at your items.
45:41Cool.
45:42Greg Davis.
45:43Yes!
45:45It's 2-2!
45:47Oh!
45:48That was amazing!
45:50Wow!
45:51Right.
45:52Remarkable.
45:53Back in the game.
45:54OK.
45:55Well, it's the final one.
45:56OK.
45:57We can do this.
45:58We can do this.
45:59We can do this.
46:01OK.
46:05Whoever gets this wins the task.
46:07Oh, God.
46:12Javelin.
46:13Um.
46:14Brushing your teeth.
46:15No, a dragon.
46:16A dragon.
46:16Monster.
46:17Uh.
46:18You.
46:20Heart.
46:21Look at your item.
46:22Look at your item.
46:24Wax.
46:25Feel.
46:26A bird.
46:27A bird.
46:28A vampire.
46:30Yes!
46:30It is vampire!
46:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:38OK.
46:38We'll add those to the final scores.
46:40Come down and join me!
46:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:51Well, five points for the team of three, and then how many for the team of two?
46:55Well, they did OK.
46:56Three points.
46:57Three points?
46:58OK.
46:58So, three to the team of two, five to the team of three.
47:00APPLAUSE
47:03How's that affected the final scores?
47:05Well, Armando, you won't believe it, is in last place with ten points.
47:09The other two boys are at the top.
47:11Kamel's got 18 points, but the winner of this episode, the first time he's won a show,
47:14is Joel Domit.
47:15No way!
47:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:17Joel Domit wins!
47:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:22Please go and have your celebrations for the best combination!
47:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:35쉬 and
47:36get them on, all the rest of your team of 700 visitors.
47:39We are one of those three guys.
47:47Those are Legends games, we must listen to them!
47:49We will see you next time.uais
47:56toILLIONSavin
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