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00:00Oh, no!
00:05Hello?
00:13Hey!
00:18Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house.
00:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:33Hello!
00:34And welcome to the Taskmaster Grand Final!
00:44There are some that say I'm struggling to write introductions
00:46after 20 series, and to those people, I say this.
00:49I've got a brain for business and a body for sin.
00:52I give out the points to decide who will win.
00:54I'm the Taskmaster, this show's magistrate.
00:56I'm inconsistent because of my swollen prostate.
01:00LAUGHTER
01:03Who dared to enter my realm of tasks?
01:05Three northerners are Gen Z and the Sanjeev of Basques.
01:08I'll give them all names, I'll give them all hope.
01:10But my allegiance, as ever, remains with the Pope.
01:13LAUGHTER
01:16So, for the last time, please welcome our five would-be champions.
01:21Anya Magliano!
01:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:25Maisie Adelaide!
01:27Phil Ennis!
01:29Reece Sheer-Smith!
01:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:32And Sanjeev Bhaskar!
01:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:36And next to me, a man who recently confided in me in private
01:40that he likes women who fart.
01:44..heers!
01:45LAUGHTER
01:46EINS!
01:47EINS!
01:48EINS!
01:49EINS!
01:50EINS!
01:51EINS!
01:52EINS!
01:53EINS!
01:54EINS!
01:55EINS!
01:56We know it so well, Greg, don't we?
01:57We do.
01:58Let's find out how well you know me, Greg, with a little quiz.
01:59Do you want a little quiz?
02:00Oh, is this your chat section?
02:01Shut your eyes. What colour is my hair, Greg?
02:04It's a pepper-pot ginger.
02:06Correct. What colour are my teeth, Greg?
02:08They're sort of an off-white,
02:10apart from one which is black and folded in on itself.
02:14Correct. And what colour are my eyes, Greg?
02:19Blue? No.
02:23They're brown.
02:25You can have a look if you want. Oh, God.
02:31Oh. You've painted brown eyes on your lids, that's it?
02:34And that's the springboard for the grand final?
02:37It's the grand final!
02:41OK, what's the prize test category that we've saved for the final?
02:45Well, the only one it could be, Greg,
02:47it has grand final written all over it,
02:49as each of them has brought in their very best tube.
02:56Five important grand final points for the best tube
02:59and five actual tubes for the episode winner.
03:01Shut up, Alex. Here we go.
03:03All right, then.
03:05Phil.
03:07Hi.
03:08Before we go any further,
03:09I would like to say you shouldn't grow your hair long.
03:15Because there's some glamorous pirates in this row,
03:18but you look like a man who'd try and sell me meat out of a bag.
03:21LAUGHTER
03:23What tube have you brought in?
03:24Is it a good tube?
03:25Er, it's a good old tube of lube.
03:30I found it in the park.
03:34I told you that's where we left it.
03:40This is why it's the best tube,
03:41because you know what kind of situation you're in with lube.
03:44If you're using it to get in something, it's a good day.
03:48If...
03:51If you're using it to get out of something,
03:54it's a bad day.
03:55Bad day.
03:57I think I've got everything I need to know.
03:59Macy.
04:00Er, I've brought my favourite tube of pasta, like...
04:03If you've just brought a tube of pasta in,
04:05then, against all odds,
04:07Phil's not getting one more.
04:08No, no, no.
04:09I've made a tube, but, like, I've made it into a tube.
04:13Let's have a look.
04:14As in the tube.
04:15With little pasta wheels.
04:19That's good, isn't it?
04:21I know what you're thinking.
04:22You're going, Macy, it still looks just a bit like pasta,
04:25which is why I've painted it to look like the tube.
04:29Here we go.
04:29Er!
04:32It's good.
04:33I've got nothing sarcastic to say.
04:35I like the tube of the tube.
04:37Rhys.
04:38So, I brought in a test tube
04:41with the umbilical cord of a werewolf.
04:44Here it is.
04:46Oh!
04:47God.
04:48You bought that?
04:49Yep.
04:49From somebody who told you it was the umbilical cord of a werewolf?
04:52Yep.
04:53Yeah.
04:54I knew it wasn't.
04:56But it was a display made lovingly
04:59by someone that crafts this sort of thing.
05:02I thought some bloke up north had licked a twig
05:04and put it in a test tube.
05:05Get me at you for 500 quid.
05:08Yeah.
05:09I've still got my umbilical cord.
05:11Shut up.
05:12It's still, it's still attached.
05:14I've still, I've just...
05:15Are you eating it?
05:16Oh!
05:18Oh, no.
05:18I quite often feed myself through it.
05:21You don't need to use a mouth.
05:22Yeah.
05:23Anya, hello.
05:24I've brought in also a test tube,
05:26um, but I've brought in a test tube that's, uh, filled with DNA.
05:30It's DNA that I've harvested myself.
05:33Alex, perhaps you could show the photo of me.
05:35Yes, this is Anya harvesting DNA.
05:37Oh!
05:38You've found a little hair, haven't you, Anya?
05:40Yeah, I don't know if you recognise that jacket, Greg.
05:42Ha, ha, ha!
05:44Oh, no.
05:45LAUGHTER
05:47I thought it would be good to finally get some closure
05:49on everything that's been going on.
05:50Um, so I sent off your DNA alongside some of my DNA to the lab.
05:55Yeah.
05:56And we've just got some very interesting results.
05:58Here are the DNA results.
05:59The child there and your Magliano.
06:01If we zoom in, we can see what they think.
06:03LAUGHTER
06:06That's hard. That is hard.
06:07Hello, Daddy!
06:09LAUGHTER
06:10Well, that's, er, genuinely unsettling.
06:13Yeah.
06:14Congratulations.
06:16We'll talk about Christmas later.
06:19Sanjay.
06:19OK, well, this is my best tube.
06:22This is a tube that contains stories, history,
06:26but also warnings, danger.
06:28It's extraordinary.
06:29Er, it is a tube, er, like, er, and it's of my DNA.
06:34Yeah. Here we are.
06:35I know what it is, I guess, as soon as you start talking.
06:38For the third time in the series.
06:39Yeah. Yes, it's a tube of...
06:40There it is!
06:43Once again.
06:44Why is this piss better than your previous pisses?
06:49It's fresher.
06:52OK. OK.
06:53Tell me some points, Greg.
06:55I'm very fond of Phil,
06:56but the idea that he's last-minute grabbed a tube-a-loop...
07:00Half a tube-a-loop.
07:01I can't give him more than one.
07:03I'm sort of disgusted by the werewolf,
07:05but I like the story behind it.
07:08I'm used to Sanjeev's urine now.
07:10So the novelty's worn off a little bit.
07:12But I'm going to give them three points,
07:13both the werewolf umbilical cord and Sanjeev's urine.
07:17Wow.
07:18Now, I think this will, erm, reflect very badly on me.
07:21Please put a tube of pasta above your daughter.
07:27Greg, you've done that for 27 years, boys.
07:29I don't know why.
07:31I am going to give...
07:32I'm going to give my daughter four points.
07:35OK.
07:36And I'm going to give a woman who's made a tube out of pasta.
07:39Five.
07:40Well done, Maisie Adam.
07:41Five points.
07:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:47All right, let's get going.
07:48Let's get to a task.
07:49Well, what better way to begin
07:51than with the final team task of the series
07:53and a good old cup of tea or two.
07:56Or 14.
07:57MUSIC PLAYS
08:08Hi.
08:09Hello.
08:09Hi.
08:10Hey!
08:12Hi.
08:13Fancy meeting you here.
08:14Hello.
08:15What are you doing?
08:16Hi, Rhys.
08:17What do you want?
08:17Hi, Maisie.
08:18I want one of you to turn left into the living room
08:20and one of you right into the kitchen.
08:23Bothered?
08:25I'll go in here.
08:25I like a kitchen.
08:27You don't have to.
08:28That's the wrong answer in this day and age.
08:29Oh, yes, yes.
08:30Do you want to swap it just so that we'll...
08:32Do you want it just so you don't get an article about you?
08:34Yeah, yeah. Fair enough.
08:35Yeah, well, I don't know.
08:36Does anyone feel comfortable being on their own?
08:38I've spent my life on my own.
08:40I'm happy with that decision made.
08:42Let's go in here.
08:43OK.
08:44Right, good luck.
08:45Good luck.
08:52Cups.
08:53Tea?
08:54Tea cups?
08:55Mm-hmm.
08:55Oh, no.
08:56I think I've got more responsibility in this.
08:58I'm so nervous about letting Rhys down.
09:03OK.
09:04Make exactly the same-looking drinks as your teammates' drinks.
09:08Your teammate must make exactly the same-looking drinks as your drinks.
09:12Your entire team may only open two doors.
09:15May only open two doors.
09:16May only open two doors.
09:18What does that mean?
09:20Most similar-looking drinks wins.
09:22You have 15 minutes.
09:24Your time starts now.
09:25Your time starts now.
09:26Wish I hadn't gone on my own, then.
09:29Terrible decision.
09:30Your time starts now.
09:31I think it's a difficult decision.
09:32APPLAUSE
09:37I'm really afraid of letting me down.
09:39Often, Maisie's very worried about keeping you happy.
09:42It's quite frightened of me.
09:44Because you're fucking terrifying.
09:46LAUGHTER
09:47Let's get going.
09:48Let's start with a team of two.
09:49They've been a true power couple so far.
09:52Let's see how they got on in their final team task.
09:59Maisie?
10:00Hello.
10:01So, have you got the same task as me?
10:02It's about making the same drink.
10:04Yeah.
10:05Have you got seven drinks in front of you?
10:07Yes, I have.
10:08Of different colours?
10:10No.
10:11Oh.
10:12Right, OK, so, you've got the drinks, probably,
10:14and I have to make the drinks to make them like your drinks.
10:17Yes.
10:18OK, so, start with the first drink on the left.
10:21Like a cranberry juice.
10:23OK, so I'm going to look in the fridge for some cranberry juice.
10:26I'm opening it.
10:27Yeah.
10:28You've opened one door.
10:29Right, look for any of these things, Rhys.
10:32Yeah.
10:33Cranberry juice, tomato soup,
10:35anything that's, like, a bright green...
10:38None of those things you've said so far are in this fridge.
10:41Then it's a cup of coffee, but it's frothy,
10:43so I think that's, like, a latte with milk.
10:45Where am I going to get that from out of a cupboard?
10:47Well, I don't know.
10:48Just skip that one.
10:49I'm a bit worried about leaving the fridge door open so long,
10:52things will start going off.
10:53Oh, I've set him off now.
10:55You've got, like, teriyaki sauce.
10:58Would that be like a brown drink?
10:59Yeah, that could be the last one.
11:01Bob that in number seven.
11:02OK, I'm doing it now.
11:03Keep the doors open.
11:04Yeah.
11:05Yeah, it's teriyaki.
11:06I've just smelt it.
11:07Oh, well, good.
11:08One done.
11:09So I've got tomato ketchup.
11:10Yes, take that out.
11:11Oh, look, here we are.
11:13Can you hear me?
11:15Yes.
11:16Yes, I can hear you.
11:17Hello, Rhys.
11:19Can't hear you.
11:20Maisie talking.
11:21Erm, what?
11:22Maisie talking.
11:23Oh, right, there you are.
11:24I've got you.
11:25Right, I reckon go to a cupboard.
11:27Oh, God.
11:28And we're looking for cranberry sauce to mount the soup.
11:31Right.
11:32But the problem is, though, Maisie,
11:33there's about three cupboards,
11:34and I don't know which one to pick.
11:36It's literally a guessing game.
11:37I'm just going to open one
11:38that looks like it's got things in it.
11:40I'm opening it now.
11:41This could be the end of the game.
11:42It's the end of the game.
11:44What's in there?
11:47I've opened the wrong one, Maisie,
11:48and there's nothing in it apart from plates.
11:50So now what we've got is some teriyaki sauce,
11:52tomato sauce and some milk.
11:54Is there anything that looks like tomato sauce?
11:57And we'll start with that.
11:58Right, number two, go 50% tomato sauce,
12:02mix it with a load of water from the sink.
12:05And then I reckon, number one,
12:07put a tiny bit of ketchup in,
12:08and then the rest, water.
12:10Because it's sort of a clearish red.
12:12Oh!
12:13Number five is a cup of tea.
12:15Right, I'll try and do a tea.
12:16What are you making your tea with, Rhys?
12:18Very accurate, some milk.
12:20It's going to look like tea.
12:22What's number three?
12:24Tea that has just had the bag in, but nothing else.
12:28Can you do that?
12:30Ah!
12:31Right, you've found the tea, have you now?
12:33I can do that.
12:34There was tea all along.
12:39It's an absolute one.
12:40It's like a fluffy coffee.
12:41Maybe just spit in it.
12:43I think my spit's bubbly.
12:45You've got one minute left.
12:46OK, right, so number four,
12:48I'll neck the green
12:49and then it's just both empty cups, isn't it?
12:51Do that, that's brilliant.
12:57That's all we're doing.
12:58That's your time-up.
13:02Are you all right, Maisie?
13:03Yeah.
13:04I think it was cucumber.
13:06And you know what?
13:07Have we done OK?
13:08Have we?
13:09That's not bad, actually.
13:10Oh, Rhys, we've smashed it!
13:12I think that's good!
13:13That's bagging!
13:14So which cupboard did you open?
13:15Oh, it was this one.
13:16Imagine at this point...
13:18But you can see through here!
13:19Well, this is what I thought.
13:20It was a trick.
13:21Thank you, team.
13:22I do feel a bit queasy.
13:24I bet you do.
13:33See, she's no doormat, really, is she?
13:35No, not at all.
13:36Although we did have yet another...
13:37Oh, I've set him off now.
13:39It's like some abusive, like, terrible ogre.
13:42You are, though.
13:44It is funny.
13:45Like, you open the fridge, which Maisie can't see,
13:48and you went,
13:49Oh, none of the things you've said are in this fridge!
13:52Like, it's her fault!
13:54It's frustration.
13:56It comes out in different ways.
13:57Yeah.
13:58I mean, they were pretty good, though.
13:59Yeah.
14:00As far as I could see.
14:01Well, considering they opened the fridge
14:02and a cupboard full of plates.
14:04That's a hell of a start to this task.
14:07We're off for a break now,
14:08so that means you are too.
14:10We'll see you in a minute.
14:11APPLAUSE
14:25Welcome back to Taskmaster.
14:26It's the final, and we're in the middle of a final team task.
14:29Whoa! You've got to be kidding me!
14:31Yes, the...
14:33The task is to make exactly the same-looking drinks
14:36in the kitchen as the drinks in the living room.
14:38The entire team may only open two doors.
14:41Most similar-looking drinks wins.
14:43Now, for the final time, it's Anya, Phil and Sanjeev.
14:46Phil?
14:48Bear with me.
14:50The first one has no flavour.
14:52But it's warm.
14:53About the same heat as urine.
14:55Fresh.
14:58Wait a minute.
14:59I could just open this door, couldn't I?
15:01I think one of our doors might have to be the fridge door.
15:04Oh, that's...
15:06I was...
15:07Yeah, I'm really glad I didn't just open the cupboard behind me now.
15:10Yeah, don't do anything.
15:12Oh, dear.
15:14Erm...
15:15I'm scared.
15:16I don't like leaving him unattended.
15:18Oh, wait a minute.
15:20Why don't you just bring them here
15:22and I'll just pour mine into yours?
15:24Oh, what, if we pour exactly half?
15:26Yeah, we can do that.
15:27That's easy, then, isn't it?
15:29Ha-ha! Suckers!
15:35Looks like he's having some trouble.
15:39One door open.
15:40We're opening our second door.
15:41Yeah.
15:42You may open no more doors.
15:43How much time have we got left, Alex?
15:44Seven minutes.
15:45Seven minutes.
15:46Ooh!
15:47What about that?
15:48Oh, yeah, that's good.
15:49Oh, good.
15:50Well, let's see how much is in each one with that.
15:52You've got a little bit of dribble on your rim there.
15:54You want to be productive.
15:55On the urine.
15:56See what I mean?
15:57It's the same warmth, isn't it?
15:58Oh, it is, actually.
15:59It's like when you give a medical sample.
16:00Yeah, yeah.
16:01I got texted the day asking for a store sample.
16:03And, er...
16:05No, just stop there.
16:06It's just a good...
16:07Yeah, yeah.
16:08I got texted the day asking for a store sample.
16:09And, er...
16:10No, just stop there.
16:11We'll leave it at that.
16:12That's really good.
16:13What we've done is amazing.
16:15There's a minute left, but you can leave at any point.
16:17OK.
16:18Are you just doing the washing up now?
16:20Oh, yeah.
16:21That's nice.
16:22Ten seconds left.
16:23Task is over.
16:24Excellent.
16:25Thank you, team.
16:27Thank you, everyone.
16:28Go team!
16:32Before the VT started, I wrote down,
16:34not to be negative, but I predict Phil will be shit at this.
16:37And then, within seconds,
16:40within seconds, and you said,
16:42I don't like leaving him on a door.
16:44Unattended.
16:45I don't.
16:46But he had a brilliant idea.
16:48Yeah.
16:49Just whip across, pour them in.
16:52Yeah.
16:53It was just a work of genius.
16:54Are you sure that was me?
16:55It was you.
16:56I think so.
16:57We didn't see that coming as well.
16:58I didn't see that as a possible solution.
16:59Very frustrating.
17:00And by the end of the task, it was just a lovely family dynamic.
17:04Yeah.
17:05Dad did the washing up while the two kids talked about wee and poo.
17:08LAUGHTER
17:10I really feel like you're the father who left me
17:12and Sanjeev is the father who raised me.
17:19Really good.
17:20Both teams were great, but obviously the team of three...
17:22Yeah.
17:23...knocked it out of the park.
17:24Although, I would say nearly all of them were fantastic.
17:28Oh, for f...
17:29Oh.
17:30Fuck.
17:31What?
17:32Well, I couldn't help but notice...
17:33Oh, don't do this.
17:35This.
17:36What?
17:37Um...
17:38Straw, straw.
17:39There must be a straw here.
17:41LAUGHTER
17:42Suddenly, this daddy's looking a bit more attractive, isn't he?
17:55LAUGHTER
17:57Oh, my God!
17:58Was it just me?
17:59Oh, just you, yeah.
18:00No-one else opened the door, Sanjeev.
18:01Oh, my...
18:02Yeah.
18:03I told you to watch him.
18:04You know he doesn't know what's going on half the time.
18:06LAUGHTER
18:07So, what happens now?
18:08He's disqualified, I'm afraid.
18:10All of us?
18:11Team of three, yeah.
18:13Um...
18:14Yes, Rhys!
18:15Yes.
18:16LAUGHTER
18:17It's a tragedy, yeah, and it's really unfortunate,
18:19but accidents happen, and that's the nature of the team task.
18:22Sanjeev doesn't look that bothered.
18:24LAUGHTER
18:26Couldn't give a shit.
18:28LAUGHTER
18:29You have an OBE. Some of us need this.
18:32LAUGHTER
18:33This is going to go on my gravestone.
18:35LAUGHTER
18:36There you go.
18:37So, the scores are zero for the team of three
18:38and five for the team of two?
18:39I'm afraid so.
18:41Well done, Major.
18:42Well done, Rhys.
18:43Sorry.
18:44APPLAUSE
18:45Can't we help the scoreboard, please?
18:47Yes, well, in terms of the series,
18:48there's only one point separating the top two players.
18:51Oh!
18:52And all five are still fairly close.
18:54It's exciting.
18:55Oh!
18:56In this episode, Maisie's in the lead with ten!
18:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:01Right.
19:02Next, it's time to make this final suck in a good way.
19:08In a good way.
19:09LAUGHTER
19:10MUSIC
19:11MUSIC
19:12MUSIC
19:13MUSIC
19:14MUSIC
19:15MUSIC
19:16MUSIC
19:17MUSIC
19:38MUSIC
19:39MUSIC
19:40FASTES
19:41FASTES
19:46MUSIC
19:47MUSIC
19:49MUSIC
20:08I mean, I won't pretend that I got it, but it's a clue, right?
20:11The mug is a clue.
20:13Mm, yes, the Pythagoras mug.
20:15First up, to slurp nearly all the apple juice,
20:18it's my favourite musical artists, Enya and Jay-Z.
20:22Here we go.
20:25Well, I don't think I should lick it up like a cat.
20:30I need a straw, essentially. I can move.
20:34Is there a straw anywhere?
20:36Oh!
20:38Underneath, there's a straw in there.
20:41Is that a straw under there?
20:42I've not looked.
20:44Yeah.
20:45Yeah.
20:51F***ing hell.
20:56I can't do it.
21:04Oh!
21:06I've got apple in me ear.
21:13Oh, it's really in there.
21:23It's gone.
21:24No, it's still there.
21:25I don't think you've drunk almost all of it yet.
21:27Oh, you want me to lick it out of the litter tray?
21:29This is degrading now.
21:37Hang on, I can touch that, though, can't I?
21:40Let's not touch the cup on the customer.
21:41Oh, yeah, fine.
21:42Oh, there we go.
21:44It does look like I'm drinking cat littered wit.
21:48I've got the clock.
21:51I've got the clock.
21:51I've got the clock.
21:55Bossed it.
21:57Bit in the ear, but no problem.
21:59Most of it in the mouth.
22:00Yeah.
22:03Oh, yeah.
22:04Listen to that.
22:05You know, not a lot of dignity there, but they seem fast.
22:13They didn't really use the Pythagoras clue.
22:15Well, look, it's a confusing task.
22:17There's no doubt about that.
22:18What that thing is, is a special Pythagoras cup.
22:21If you fill it over a certain level, it suddenly siphons down.
22:24If you suck from the bottom, it suddenly plunges forth.
22:26But you lapped it up like cats.
22:28I wonder if Phil's going to make this easy.
22:31OK, now, as advised by several professional people,
22:33we have put Phil all by himself.
22:35Here we go.
22:35Oh, God.
22:37Right, so that's not a cup.
22:38That is a cup.
22:41I think that's apple juice.
22:42OK.
22:43I haven't got any sense of smell.
22:44I got hit by a football when I was nine.
22:50What's this?
22:51Why is that there?
22:54That's nothing.
22:55That was a mislead.
22:57I don't think I'm missing something.
23:00Can I leave the room?
23:01All the information's on the table.
23:03Fastest wins your time.
23:04Oh, I could have just left the room.
23:05OK.
23:06What are you going to get?
23:07Well, weirdly, I was thinking tissue,
23:09and then soak it up and squirt it in my mouth,
23:10but maybe just a straw.
23:12Well, look, the clock's ticking.
23:15Is there any straws?
23:16Why is there never anything you need?
23:17I'm going to smash this.
23:23I panicked.
23:25Don't know why I've got the funnel.
23:26What is that?
23:27This looks like it's used to give a cow a child.
23:30I've never seen it before.
23:32I've never seen it before.
23:34Oh.
23:35Almost all, that's almost.
23:44What did it have to do with him?
23:45Have you finished?
23:47Almost.
23:48I've stuck the clock.
23:50Well done, Phil.
23:55I start watching a deleted scene from Oliver sometimes.
23:58Just this urchin looking around the posh house,
24:00not understanding anything.
24:03So many insights over the last few weeks into your childhood.
24:06You can't smell because you've got here in the head by a football.
24:09Yeah.
24:10Can you not smell at all?
24:11No.
24:12OK.
24:12Though I smell five points a foot.
24:14Did he get it down him?
24:18The juice?
24:19Yes, he drank nearly all of it.
24:20The time so far.
24:20Anya, 1 minute 39.
24:22Maisie, 2 minutes 13.
24:23Phil, 14 minutes 55.
24:27OK.
24:27That's halfway through this grand final.
24:31Be brave.
24:32Be strong.
24:33Be good.
24:44And a task involving the consumption of apple juice.
24:56Ooh, yeah.
24:57Big time, seriously.
24:59And we end with two Goliaths from the world of celebrity juice
25:02drinking Rhys and Sanjeev.
25:05OK, so, well, the theory of Pythagoras, I think,
25:09is something about displacement, isn't it?
25:11If I pour water into there, more diluted apple juice will pour out
25:17and I could start trying to drink it.
25:19OK.
25:27What?
25:28It's gone.
25:37Have you drunk almost all of it?
25:43Almost all, but there's a bit left.
25:45I've stopped the clock.
25:46I guess I didn't need to do the thing of leaning under it and
25:49supping from the fountain, did I?
25:55But I did.
25:56There you go.
26:06Is that almost all?
26:07It's almost all.
26:21Do you know what just happened?
26:23It's Bernoulli's Theorem.
26:26It's about displacement and water pressure, yeah.
26:29How are we spelling Bernoulli?
26:30However you like.
26:31It's exactly how it sounds.
26:33Bernoulli's Theorem.
26:35Can I have a wee now?
26:36Yeah.
26:37No, I need one to.
26:37Excellent.
26:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:41Count countless television appearances.
26:48What a career.
26:49And now this.
26:51Doctor Displacement.
26:53LAUGHTER
26:54That was textbooks.
26:55Sanjeev was completely correct.
26:57It is the Bernoulli principle.
26:59I'd never heard of it.
27:00He had.
27:01LAUGHTER
27:02You must be more excited about this victory than...
27:05No, I don't know if I've opened a bloody cupboard door yet.
27:08LAUGHTER
27:10I'll tell you now, you're safe.
27:12Am I?
27:12Yeah.
27:14I'm still feeling bad about the cupboard door for these guys.
27:17Rhys, again, knew about displacement.
27:19Yeah.
27:20And then, as soon as the stream started, complete breakdown.
27:23LAUGHTER
27:25I just went straight mouth to stream and was...
27:28I really enjoyed it, though.
27:30Yeah.
27:31LAUGHTER
27:32The robot had malfunctioned.
27:34Exactly.
27:35I was just glad that I did think to drink it from the bowl.
27:37So good.
27:38Well, we know who's won.
27:39So, Phil, yes, one point.
27:40You were 15 minutes, almost.
27:42Maisie, two minutes, 13.
27:43Rhys, you were two minutes, 10.
27:45Just three seconds quicker than Maisie.
27:46Oh, Rhys.
27:47And here we know, one minute, 39.
27:49Sanjeev, 45 seconds.
27:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:55The Doctor Displacement has struck.
27:58Aye!
27:59Aye!
28:02I can barely bring myself to ask, but please...
28:06Oh, may we have the last task?
28:08It's sad, but it's also exciting, because...
28:10And get ready.
28:11This one involves the word...
28:13..whence.
28:15Quence.
28:15Ooh.
28:17MUSIC PLAYS
28:29Ooh.
28:30You like that?
28:32Yeah.
28:32It's just floating there.
28:33Yes.
28:35LAUGHTER
28:38What?
28:40Well, this is good.
28:41Make water squirt out of you in a surprising way.
28:46In 15 minutes, Alex will guess whence the water will squirt.
28:51Wence.
28:52Wence.
28:53Wence.
28:54I think I know what whence means, but I'm not sure.
28:56For every incorrect guess, you may squirt him for one second at the end of the task.
29:04Longest time squirting, Alex wins.
29:07That shouldn't even be a sentence.
29:09Your time starts now.
29:12What's going on with you?
29:24Ever since you've got your new laptop, it's all...
29:25It's so fast.
29:26It's all weird, sexy stuff, isn't it?
29:28I've seen so much recently.
29:30LAUGHTER
29:31All right, let's see Alex using a show to get his kicks.
29:35LAUGHTER
29:36Yes, please.
29:37We're starting with Anya's pipes and Rhys' pieces.
29:40I can see pipes.
29:50I can see tubes.
29:52I'm going to make my first guess.
29:55And the water is going to come out of the chest tube.
29:58Wrong.
29:59That's one second of squirting.
30:03Did you enjoy chest tube?
30:10How are you doing?
30:18I'm all right.
30:18How are you doing?
30:19I'm good, yeah.
30:21I think the water is going to squirt out of the mouth tube.
30:25Okay.
30:25Rhys?
30:26Yeah?
30:27Are you going to squirt me from your nose?
30:32No.
30:34Out of the elbow pipe?
30:35No.
30:36Are you going to squirt me from your groin?
30:38Well, let's see, shall we?
30:44No?
30:45Nothing coming?
30:46Nothing?
30:46Actually, it was a bit, but no.
30:49I'm going with right trouser leg tube, please.
30:52Negative.
30:53You can't help but notice there is a hose going out of this and over there.
30:56Yes.
30:57You know what?
30:58I'm going to follow the hose.
30:59Okay, yeah.
31:00I've got to follow the hose.
31:01Follow the hose.
31:01Goes in there.
31:02So it goes up.
31:03It goes...
31:04I'm not sure you can dismantle me.
31:11Put that back in.
31:12That might be part of something.
31:15Right, so the hose is a red herring.
31:18Well, it could be.
31:19Well, it is.
31:20I've just pulled it out.
31:20This is good.
31:21The table has turned.
31:22I'll give you all the information.
31:29The time has started.
31:31I'm going round the back.
31:32There's still some more on the front that you haven't seen, even.
31:36I am going round the back.
31:37Okay.
31:40Ah, yeah.
31:41Hello.
31:43Anya, is the water going to squirt out of the back of your head?
31:46Yes.
31:47Well, that's going to do that for eight seconds.
31:49Yeah.
31:50So, well done you.
31:52Is it going to come out of your foot?
31:57You've got it.
31:59Yeah.
32:00Thank you very much.
32:05Another terrifying character to add.
32:10Well, it was all about the ruses and the pipes that led to nothing.
32:13Yeah.
32:13That was what you had to say.
32:14And yet, for the vast majority of it,
32:16I just couldn't take my eyes off the nose.
32:18Yes.
32:19It was quite dominant, wasn't it?
32:20Yeah.
32:21How many seconds of squirting did he gain himself?
32:24It took 14 guesses to find the tube and eight guesses, of course,
32:28with Anya after I asked permission to go round the back.
32:31Yes.
32:33Making something that wasn't creepy so creepy.
32:37Who's next?
32:38It's now time for the cheesy guys.
32:39Phil, Adelphia, Ellis and Maisie Edam.
32:44Oh.
32:50Hello.
32:53I see.
32:57Well, let's start with this guy.
33:00What's that one?
33:00The little yellow thigh one.
33:02Yellow thigh?
33:03Mm-hmm.
33:04No.
33:09Hi.
33:10Hi, Phil.
33:11You all right?
33:12It's funny when you walk into a situation.
33:14I like it.
33:15I don't.
33:16Quite a lot of ends of hoses.
33:19Well, you never know, do you?
33:21You never know with a hose.
33:24It looks like that's where it goes, the hose.
33:26The hose goes where my rosemary grows.
33:29Is that where your rosemary grows?
33:31Yeah, it tastes rank.
33:32Head tube.
33:34Beat the head tube.
33:37No dice, baby!
33:41Let's go for a fish.
33:43A fish?
33:43This fish.
33:44My sternum fish?
33:45Mm-hmm.
33:45No.
33:46Penguin.
33:47On the head?
33:47Yes.
33:49No.
33:50Right shoulder.
33:51Wrong shoulder, baby!
33:52This one?
33:53That's another guess.
33:54I'm just going to check around the back.
33:57Oh, dear.
33:58Oh, dear.
33:59Oh, dear.
34:00I'd like to put my hand in there.
34:01I'd like you to.
34:03Right wrist.
34:03No.
34:04Left wrist.
34:05No.
34:05Can I have Adele?
34:06It's a welcome mat.
34:07Crack on.
34:07I just want to see if it's going up or down.
34:10I don't know if you're allowed.
34:11That was my penis.
34:14Right elbow.
34:14No.
34:15Left elbow.
34:15No.
34:16Racking them seconds up, Alex.
34:1825, 39, 40, 41, and 28.
34:2229.
34:22I mean, I can see that some of these aren't going anywhere.
34:2530, 31, 32, 33, 34.
34:28Quick trip round the back.
34:36Right.
34:42Maisie, are you going to squirt me out of your arse?
34:44Yeah.
34:47OK, 21 seconds of squirting.
34:4921 seconds.
34:50Yeah.
34:51I can see a crease in your left boot.
34:53Oh, well, I hope we've got a winner.
34:56So?
34:5745 seconds.
34:5845 seconds.
34:59I don't think I feel comfortable wasting that much water.
35:06There's been a few tasks in this series where Maisie looked incredibly
35:11pleased with herself and smug and it has always ended in disaster.
35:15But that time, well deserved.
35:17Yeah.
35:18Pleased with herself throughout.
35:19And then delighted that she's going to squirt you from her arse.
35:25And as for the porcupine poet of squirting,
35:29a similar tactic to cover himself in stuff.
35:33Yeah.
35:33And some lovely messages for the kids there.
35:36Are you going to put your hand in there?
35:38I'd like to.
35:39I'd like you to.
35:40That's consent.
35:41Just one more small part left.
35:48Who will squirt Alex for the longest?
35:50Who will win the trophy?
35:52And who will take home the last?
35:53And I imagine the strongest of Sanjeev's urine samples.
35:57Stay tuned.
36:10Hello.
36:12Here we are then.
36:13The last part of our final and our 20th adventure together,
36:18my little friend.
36:25We got it together, didn't we, mate?
36:26We got it together.
36:28Finally.
36:34Here we go then.
36:34Just one more person for me to guess from whence the water will come.
36:39And it is Sanjeev Bhaskar like you've never seen him before.
36:43Yes, Sanjeev.
36:56My first guess, are you going to squirt me from your mouth?
37:05Are you going to squirt me out of your eyes?
37:10Are you going to squirt me out of your bosoms?
37:13From your tummy?
37:15Can I see your hands?
37:16Right, well, okay, so you've got lots of water balloons strapped to your chest.
37:23Are you going to squirt me from your chest area?
37:26Your legs?
37:27From your behind?
37:29Armpits?
37:30Flanks?
37:31Flanks?
37:32Flanks?
37:35Flanks?
37:36No.
37:38Would you mind opening up a little bit more for me?
37:40Right.
37:48Are you going to squirt me from your crotch?
37:50Feet, ears, hands, knees, neck, shins, nape.
37:55From your hips, top of the head, lower back, shoulders,
37:58tummy button, nostrils, forehead.
38:02That is all of you.
38:04Are you going to squirt me?
38:05From your body?
38:09From here to here?
38:12This side of you?
38:19Okay.
38:20Elbow?
38:21You're going to squirt me from your elbow?
38:24Woo!
38:25Okay.
38:26You're, oh.
38:27Flanks?
38:29Flanks?
38:31I would add another 20 minutes onto that for your sheer desperation.
38:35Another character that will endure, I'm sure.
38:41Who was that man of mystery?
38:44Flanks.
38:45Flanks?
38:46You were so upset by me suggesting flanks.
38:49I just think generally they're irritated by you this series.
38:51Yeah.
38:52I agree with that.
38:53You're the standard chance.
38:55Yeah, there were 29 guesses, so it's another nearly half a minute
38:58of squirting I'm going to have in a second.
39:00Points-wise, Anya, just the one point.
39:02It's two to Reece with his 14 questions, three to Maisie,
39:05four to Sanjeev, but Phil with his 45 questions.
39:08Five points!
39:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:12Here they are, then.
39:13Your class of series 20, Simply Squirting.
39:17Water on, please.
39:19BUZZER
39:21This is the best fun I've had yet.
39:47This is the best fun I've had yet.
39:49MUSIC PLAYS
39:55Ten, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve,
40:03mills, nine, eleven, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve, twelve.
40:07I'm trying to open my eyes to look at my walk.
40:21No, you're not allowed.
40:2230 seconds left.
40:28I'm happy with that.
40:29Thank you very much, Sanjee.
40:31Thank you for squirting me for 29 seconds.
40:33Triumph.
40:37Did you piss yourself?
40:39I didn't, I pissed myself.
40:40I don't know.
40:41I'm 46.
40:44Finally!
40:45It's another one off the bucket list.
40:46Now all I'm going to do is marry a swan.
40:50I need lent!
40:56It's difficult today who enjoyed it the most, doesn't it, really?
40:59All my dreams came true.
41:01The targeted crotch squirt from Rhys was good.
41:05But facially, the person who enjoyed it most was you.
41:12Looked like a 12-year-old.
41:15She was so accurate.
41:17All so great.
41:18So satisfied.
41:20Series-wise, there is still just one point in it at the top.
41:23What?
41:25OK, everyone.
41:26I'm afraid it's time for you all to make your way to the stage
41:29for the final task of the series!
41:37What a lovely collection of final pirates.
41:41Who's going to read the task out?
41:42I think Rhys is going to read the final task.
41:44Correspondence.
41:45Respond to the taskmaster correctly.
41:52When he says wibble, you say bibble.
41:55When he says bibble, you say bam.
41:58When he says bam, you say wibble, bibble, bam.
42:02If you dither or err, you are eliminated.
42:06Last player standing wins.
42:10So Greg will look at one of you and that's who he's talking to.
42:14You must respond correctly and quickly.
42:16If there's too much of a pause, you will be eliminated.
42:19If you make a mistake, you're out.
42:20You have to sit on the elimination bench over there.
42:22Wibble, bam.
42:23I will blow the whistle if there's a mistake.
42:25Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:27Here we go.
42:28Bibble.
42:30Bibble.
42:31Bam.
42:33Bam.
42:34Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:35Wibble.
42:36Bam.
42:38Fuck!
42:41It's always bibble after wibble.
42:44That's cool.
42:45Now the ruffle.
42:47Wibble.
42:48Bibble.
42:49Bam.
42:50Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:51Bam.
42:52Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:53Bibble.
42:54Bam.
42:55Wibble.
42:56Bam.
42:57Wibble, bibble, bam.
42:58Bibble.
42:59Bam.
43:00Wibble.
43:01Bibble.
43:02Bam.
43:03Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:04Bibbles.
43:05Bibb-bam.
43:07APPLAUSE
43:14What a terrible day for feminism.
43:18Silence!
43:19Benches on the benches.
43:23Are you ready?
43:24Yeah.
43:25Bam.
43:26Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:27Bibble.
43:28Bam.
43:29Bibble.
43:30Bam.
43:31Bam.
43:32Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:33Bibble.
43:34Wibble.
43:35Wait a second.
43:36We've lost Rhys.
43:37He said bibble, he said wibble.
43:38That's not right, surely?
43:39Oh, God.
43:40I protest, your majesty!
43:42APPLAUSE
43:43This is the final.
43:44Here we go.
43:45Bam.
43:46Wibble, bibble, bam.
43:47Bibble.
43:48Bam.
43:49Eestenờらle,
43:51Wibble, bibble,
43:52ELECTU 만들
43:57Wow.
43:59That's right, cesра.
44:00That's right.
44:01Wibble-bibble-bam. Bam. Wibble-bibble-bam.
44:04Bibble. Wibble.
44:05Wibble.
44:06Oh!
44:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:12You soft-haired lovely. Congratulations.
44:15We'll add that to the final scores. Come down and join me!
44:24Climax to the series.
44:27I was genuinely shaking afterwards.
44:29But well done. Five points, of course, to Phil Ellis.
44:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:34And so, we'll deal with the episode first, I imagine.
44:37Of course. It means that in joint second, with 16 points,
44:40it's Rhys and Sanjay!
44:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:44We're going up.
44:46With 17 points, it's Maisie Adams!
44:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:52Maisie Adams wins the episode!
44:54Please show up to the stage to be triumphant with YouTube!
44:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:01Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
45:03WOOOOO!
45:04WOOOOO!
45:08Hello, my friends.
45:10The crowning of a new Taskmaster champion is a historic event,
45:14which we celebrate just twice a year.
45:17That's right, quite often.
45:19But it remains of great significance.
45:22And so now I call upon my administrator, Alex.
45:25Just how close was this?
45:26I must tell you that in fifth place,
45:29but just a handful of points away from the others,
45:32one of my all-time heroes, it's Sanjeev Bhaskar, with 145 points.
45:38Just five points ahead of Sanjeev, with 148 points.
45:44Another of my heroes, it's Rhys Shearsmith!
45:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:49And only a few points above that, with 151 points.
45:53It's Phil Illis!
45:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:57And Maisie Adam!
45:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:01You've got a few seconds!
46:03And Annie Magliaro!
46:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:12It's never happened before.
46:14It is a series tie-break.
46:17A three-way.
46:18Yes, it's the most important tie-break in the world.
46:24LAUGHTER
46:25We want you to think back and tell us how many letter T's are there
46:30in the portrait of me and Greg in the living room.
46:34Oh! Are you fucking joking?
46:36Come on!
46:37Closest wins.
46:38You're going to have some cards to write down your answers.
46:40What do you mean, T's?
46:41The letter T.
46:43It's actually written down?
46:45There were letter T's on the picture the whole time you were there.
46:48They were hidden within the painting.
46:49And what...
46:50Roughly how many is it?
46:51LAUGHTER
46:52Write down a number.
46:53Nice and clear, and then keep it to yourself.
46:59Philip, how many T's were hidden in the painting?
47:02Ten.
47:03Maisie?
47:04Five.
47:05Anya?
47:06Sixteen.
47:07Here is the picture.
47:08You can see a T here, here, here on my dungarees.
47:12Oh!
47:13Here on the doorbell.
47:15Oh!
47:16And that is all the T's are a four T's.
47:17We have a winner!
47:18Oh, yeah!
47:19Oh!
47:20Oh, wow!
47:21The new Taskmaster champion is Maisie Eddard!
47:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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