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00:02Don't look away
00:16I might just do this all day
00:33Hello and welcome to Taskmaster
00:36Five comedy show ponies put through their paces at the jimkhana of laughs
00:41The grand national of juggles the dressage of mirth who will get off to a good start on firm ground
00:47today?
00:48Who will refuse at the first jump and who God forbid will have to be humanely destroyed?
00:54Let's find out now. Please welcome Amy Glethel
01:12Who is surprising in so so many ways he loves to paint for example
01:17He's a keen bird watcher and he has a tattoo on his lower back that simply reads free britney
01:30I just think it's about time
01:32How are you going to irritate me in the first two minutes of this show i'm not going to irritate
01:38you
01:38I've got something that i'm going to show you that you're going to love because i got my very first
01:42smartphone
01:45You want to see it yeah it's a smartphone
01:49It's just it's just it's just my little little face
01:53It's a smartphone it's all dressed up smart
01:55Yeah
01:55Right yeah
01:57I thought you'd like that i mean i think two things i'm irritated because that will be the end of
02:00the joke
02:01There'll be no
02:02Right well you think there should be more is there a follower i knew i knew you were going to
02:05say that
02:06Yeah
02:06Make sure you think of a follow-up to the really funny smartphone
02:09I sort of think there's something in that i think sort of moronic teenagers would buy that wouldn't they
02:15Well i've got three so yeah maybe i'll ask them when we get home put the face up again it's
02:19my face
02:22Can we copyright that live on air that's a thing isn't it copyright copyright
02:30On with the prize task what they brought in this time well greg we've still got loads of good ideas
02:35for prize task categories
02:36But this week they've brought in the most fun thing to drag behind you on a piece of string when
02:40you go for a walk
02:42We all drag string behind us when we go for a walk but what's the most fun thing to be
02:46on that string
02:48Well the owner of the thing judged to be most fun will be given five points by you greg and
02:51also this is important
02:53No actually i'm done
02:56That was it
02:57You've been quite funny today
03:01Hello kamal
03:02Greg i'm a 47 year old man greg yeah and uh to me nothing is more fun than going to
03:08bed at a reasonable hour
03:10So what i would love to drag behind me on a piece of string is an early to bed kit
03:15let's look at it okay
03:18It's a it's a clock without an alarm set melatonin sleep mask and a diary with one plan
03:28That they cancelled on me on oh i'm getting hard just thinking about it
03:33Yeah
03:34This is one sweet bit of kit you and i should hang out more often
03:40One giant bed yeah biscuits 5pm dinner and then to bed
03:45Joel what's your fun thing to drag around on a bit of string a parachute
03:50Attached to your hip right um here is a video of me dragging such a thing behind me
04:04You might have noticed the sort of eagle-eyed amongst you that there was some writing on that parachute prepare
04:09yourself
04:09Craig you're going to absolutely love this here we go shoot from the hip
04:12It's a play on words it's a play you don't like play on words
04:16I know you don't don't like it i know you don't but i was really it's not clever puns aren't
04:21clever
04:23I'm not a fan of the mass singer i assume
04:26I have not missed an episode
04:30I don't mind the play on words i love you you having a parachute because you're far too healthy and
04:36fit and bouncy and happy
04:38And i like the idea of you being slowed down occasionally
04:41nice amy you're next what have you brought in
04:44well i've brought um a projector on wheels projecting a fun video
04:52and it is a fun video
04:55i shall be the judge of this
04:59this is what amy brought in
05:10that's just constantly playing to charge the battery 15 minutes and it'll play that for an hour
05:16it's uh
05:19i sort of think i think a phenomena of some kind
05:23that it's only the long breast i can concentrate
05:27i thought what's fun
05:31so you started with a blank canvas
05:34blank to your paper what's in life what's fun circled it yeah and then put a little circle in the
05:40middle of that circle
05:41a little circle and then even smaller one
05:45and then wrote fun bags
05:47yeah fun bags
05:48fun bags
05:49yeah literally fun one of those bags isn't fun
05:54i have brought a hip flask in the shape of a fish full of sherry
06:00yes thank you
06:02at last a sensible voice
06:06now my love of sherry started when i was about seven
06:13strapping
06:14so i lost my appetite after chicken pox my nan who was a matron in a hospital
06:19uh-huh told my mum the best way to get my appetite back was to give me sherry
06:23it's funny how medical standards have changed though for you
06:26so my love of sherry started then
06:28it then continued when we got our first dog a spaniel
06:31oh no hang on
06:34you weren't eight when you got the dog were you
06:36i know i wasn't
06:37we're not going year by year
06:41we used to take our dog for a walk down park mill which was this lovely place in the woods
06:46but there was a pub and then a big car park and then you'd walk out the back and there'd
06:50be the
06:51my dad would get the dog out and then they'd go into the pub get me a glass of sherry
06:55and i'd have my
06:56glass of sherry and then we go for our walk and so that is why i think everything in life
07:02is better
07:02with a glass of sherry so if i'm going for a walk i would have a hip flask full of
07:07sherry
07:07yeah funny isn't it not only have i had time to write down joanna one point i've
07:15i've drawn two flowers either side
07:18armando right fun i thought uh a person who um you'd be surprised to meet but then when you saw
07:25you think oh yeah that is fun uh which is lorraine kelly and i thought i could drag her on
07:30an
07:31improvised trolley okay which is what i've done yes no the winner of the episode gets this cardboard
07:46cutout of lorraine kelly on a trolley i don't know who that is how dare you that's like me asking
07:53you
07:54who thomas jefferson is lorraine kelly drew up our constitution 200 and every morning defends it
08:05on air i really liked all of those and it feels very mean to give joanna one point um but
08:11there we are
08:14one point to joanna if you hadn't stuck the pun on it it'd have been right up there two points
08:17to joel
08:18okay honestly i think you'd be at the top of the pile if it wasn't for the long breast
08:24three points okay you're a man after my own heart four points um but how can i beat how can
08:30anyone beat lorraine kelly being dragged on a trolley of course five points
08:37what's up first please alex uh well we have an instruction heavy task that will give everyone
08:44a brand new earworm
08:55you must now sing these words with me hello hello are you okay have a seat okay
09:06how are you i'm good are you comfortable yeah you're loud
09:12oh hello
09:16okay before you open that yeah
09:25oh
09:39be better if the wind was going in a different direction
09:42they're biodegradable joel i'm glad you clarified that oh my god i wish i put those on first
09:49i bet it's gonna say time started when the competitive animal goes off i've i've seen this
09:54show nice to see you nice to see you it's a lovely day for tasking put on the headphones obey
10:02the
10:02instructions and build the tower when you think you have built the correct tower you must clap
10:08three times fastest correct tower wins your time started when you first blinked yeah you did blink
10:15when the confetti went off oh okay yeah but yeah i've seen it i've seen this show
10:24by grown adults who react to a confetti cannon going off in the way that normal people would react
10:30to being attacked by a tiger have to build a tower yes they do shall we then we shall and
10:36first up it's the edinburgh comedy award-winning stand-up amy gledhill and also joel dominic
10:46at the bottom of the tower there is a red brick at the top of the tower there is a
10:52blue brick
10:52on top of the bottom red brick there is a yellow brick you must hold up two green bricks within
10:58the
10:58next two seconds otherwise alex will dismantle your tower lovely you must now sing blue green yellow
11:06yellow green yellow your turn blue green yellow green yellow now wink at the camera
11:13above the lowest yellow brick there is a yellow brick above that yellow brick there are two more bricks
11:19then a yellow brick you must hold up a blue brick in your left hand and a red in your
11:24right hand in the
11:25next two seconds otherwise alex will dismantle your tower very nice you've got some confetti in your hair
11:31okay you must now sing these words blue red yellow yellow red blue red yellow red red oh
11:39it'd be better than that close from the bottom it goes red something something red something something
11:45green something something blue the bottom brick should be red yes now wink at the camera
11:54now wink at the camera now wink at the camera now wink at the camera blue red yellow yellow red
12:02that bit's
12:03right the bottom brick is red yes i know that blue green yellow green yellow is that a clue now
12:09wave to the
12:10camera holding a red brick in your right hand and a blue brick in your left hand otherwise alex will
12:15dismantle your turn you'll dismantle your town oh what was that oh fuck i forgot which way around it was
12:20no please don't do it you didn't wave to the camera you didn't wave to the camera
12:26let's start again blue green yellow green yellow yellow yellow blue red yellow yellow yellow red yeah
12:34now wave to the camera holding a red brick and a blue brick within the next two seconds
12:39otherwise alex will dismantle your
12:41i didn't know i didn't know what i said no no no no no no no no i have to
12:46dismantle your tower
12:47blue green yellow green yellow yellow yellow red yellow yellow yellow blue
12:58you may remove your headphones is it right looks right to me
13:05you're annoying
13:14amy i've got a question for you have you ever winked before
13:22i can't do without opening my mouth and sort of doing this horrible thing right
13:26well can we have a look at amy's way okay here's her wink
13:35were you annoyed at any point um yeah i was very sad when you when you grabbed them like a
13:41child
13:42wow i've never hugged a brick before you've never you said you've never held a brick before
13:47that was the first time that i felt like i'd done manual labor
13:53the times are not that bad joel 11 minutes 44 and amy nine minutes 53 in the lead at the
13:59moment
13:59well done very good
14:02shut up it's the end of part one you think of what you're talking shut up
14:17well welcome back to taskmaster where alex is tormenting our cast with his horrible whiny voice
14:23red green yellow yes they just have to follow my simple instructions to stack the colored bricks in
14:30the correct order when happy with their order they need to clap three times to end the task i can't
14:35stress enough how important that bit is and so comes the turn of two guys with very manly names
14:41it's armando and kumail hunky
14:47at the bottom of the tower there is a red brick at the top of the tower there is a
14:54blue brick
14:54blue is the top you must now sing these words with me blue green yellow green yellow yellow blue green
15:03yellow yellow green yellow the bottom brick is red remember yes the top one is blue okay now wink at
15:12the camera
15:13blue red yellow yellow red lovely guantanamo bay
15:19in the bottom it goes red something something red something something green something something blue
15:25blue oh my god blue green yellow yellow blue red blue red yellow yellow red when you think you have
15:45built
15:45the correct the correct tower you must clap three times blue red yellow yellow yellow red red yellow yellow blue
16:02when you think you have built the correct tower you must clap three times blue red yellow yellow
16:10red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red
16:15red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red
16:15red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red
16:15red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red
16:19red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red
16:19red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red
16:20red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red
16:24red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red
16:28red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red
16:29red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red
16:30red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red
16:30red
16:30Blue, green, yellow, green, yellow.
16:33Now, wink at the camera.
16:35Oh, stop the clock.
16:35Oh, my God!
16:37I forgot he could clap!
16:42Now, stop the clock, Amanda.
16:44I forgot I could stop it at any time.
16:46I thought I had to listen to all of this.
16:48Yeah, I enjoyed that.
16:49I'm glad you enjoyed it.
16:51You finished it half your time ago.
16:54So I did this for twice as long as I needed to?
16:57Exactly that, yeah.
16:58Yeah.
17:04I mean, absolutely textbook, apart from forgetting the three claps.
17:09Your wink was incredible.
17:10Oh, my God!
17:13One of the loveliest winks I've ever seen.
17:14Yeah.
17:15Well, when I was very young, my dad told me you should be able to wink
17:18so that only the person you're winking at knows you're winking.
17:21Wow.
17:22What a creepy bit of advice.
17:28No.
17:30Yes.
17:31Do you have a good time chewing that?
17:32One part of my brain, I was enjoying myself.
17:35And another part, I was thinking, why?
17:38Yeah.
17:39Oh, I mean, just reordering coloured bricks, you started weirdly coughing.
17:43Yeah.
17:44I don't know why it was coughing.
17:45I thought, maybe it's because I saw that thing about how it helped someone
17:48and who wants to be a millionaire.
17:50LAUGHTER
17:52If I just went, argh!
17:54It was sort of...
17:57Don't do this the wrong way.
17:58It sort of felt like we were watching someone playing a game in an old people's home.
18:02Yeah.
18:04I have taken it the wrong way.
18:07LAUGHTER
18:09There'll be some times.
18:11Yeah.
18:11Well, I mean, obviously, Kamal would have been the fastest so far by quite a long way.
18:15Really?
18:15Had he clapped when he was told to clap.
18:18But 12 minutes 06.
18:20Literally couldn't be closer to Armando's because he was 12 minutes 30.
18:23Oh!
18:23Couldn't be closer.
18:24Who's next?
18:25Finally, it's time to see Joanna Page stacking it.
18:30I'm on.
18:33OK, that's for the top.
18:36Blue, red, yellow, yellow, red.
18:39What the hell is that?
18:40It's green.
18:43Then a yellow brick.
18:44Then another brick.
18:46The top is blue, so that must be green.
18:49This is...
18:49It's not right.
18:50It's not right.
18:51Is there anything else that's going to show me?
18:56Wah!
18:57There!
18:58That's where it is.
18:59Right.
19:00Right.
19:01Right.
19:03OK, right.
19:05I've stopped the clock.
19:07I mean, I genuinely probably would have kept going all day.
19:10Yep, I think so.
19:11You were nowhere near getting it right.
19:13LAUGHTER
19:17APPLAUSE
19:22Well done.
19:23Well, I didn't trust you.
19:25I knew something was up.
19:26And also, I just couldn't follow the song.
19:28She was getting nowhere near.
19:29It was just like...
19:29Yeah.
19:30It took her 8 minutes 50.
19:31Oh!
19:33If we went by who did the tower first, I would have had the shortest time.
19:37Hugh Jiff, you did it the best and the second one.
19:39It's life there, isn't it?
19:40If I hadn't consistently eaten pies my whole life, I'd be able to run.
19:47LAUGHTER
19:47LAUGHTER
19:49Unfortunately, Armando, you're last with one point.
19:51Kamel, you get two points because you were so slow in the end.
19:54Don't.
19:55LAUGHTER
19:55Joel was third, three points, four points to Amy,
19:58but Joanna Page gets the full five points!
19:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:03Feels like it's scoreboard time, is it?
20:05It is, and it's so close at this stage.
20:08Armando, Joanna and Kamel in joint second on six points.
20:11Amy's in the lead with seven points.
20:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:17Give me more task!
20:19Yes, and just like our relationship,
20:21this task involves an equal amount of hugging and grunting.
20:24Mmm!
20:27BUZZER
20:29BUZZER
20:30BUZZER
20:36BUZZER
20:36Ooh, look, right, here's the donkey.
20:38He's... Oh, my God, he's got plasters on his bum.
20:41LAUGHTER
20:41Hello, Joel. Hello!
20:42Hello, Amy.
20:43Hey!
20:44Hello, Kamel. Please don't touch that or look underneath it.
20:46Sorry?
20:47Shall we, er...
20:48Yes.
20:49Let's have a look.
20:49Paint the best painting of the painting while hugging.
20:55Right, excellent.
20:55Oh, that must be the painting.
20:57One person must always look at the original painting
21:00and hug the other two people with both arms.
21:04The other two people must always look at the new painting.
21:09The hugger may only grunt.
21:11LAUGHTER
21:11Did you write this?
21:13The painter may ask questions for one minute.
21:17Then for the rest of the task,
21:19they may only say colours, shapes or directions.
21:23Colours.
21:24Shapes or directions.
21:25Ten minutes.
21:26Your time starts on the whistle.
21:29I can't draw for toffee.
21:31I don't mind.
21:32Do you want to have a go?
21:33OK, I'll paint, yeah.
21:34OK.
21:34I kind of want to paint.
21:35You want to paint?
21:35You want to paint?
21:36All right.
21:36I might actually put my hands under there.
21:40I'm going to get a paper in each hand.
21:43OK.
21:43OK.
21:44Are you looking at the painting?
21:46Oh!
21:47APPLAUSE
21:50I have no idea, on top of all your many talents,
21:55that you could do impressions.
21:57Who's that?
21:58Oh, well, you don't know your own impression.
22:01Let's see it again.
22:02Oh!
22:04Painting, I have!
22:05LAUGHTER
22:08Let's see them do some painting.
22:10Yes, here they all are, painting and grunting
22:12and holding each other tightly.
22:13LAUGHTER
22:16Is it a human?
22:17Uh-huh.
22:18It's a human.
22:19Is it the Prime Minister?
22:21Uh-uh.
22:22Is it an animal?
22:23Uh-huh.
22:24Yes, it's an animal.
22:25Yeah.
22:25Is it a horse?
22:26Is it a donkey?
22:28Huh?
22:28Is it a donkey?
22:29No, a horse!
22:31Is it a man?
22:32Is it just his head or is it all in his body?
22:35Uh-uh-uh-uh.
22:36It's a...
22:37He's on a horse!
22:39He's on a horse!
22:40Was that grunting?
22:41Yeah, yeah.
22:42He's on a horse!
22:43Uh-huh.
22:43Is a horse with a jockey?
22:45Is it Putin?
22:47Uh-uh.
22:47OK.
22:49LAUGHTER
22:51Is the horse brown?
22:53I'm going to start on a brown horse.
22:55Is there anything?
22:58Colors, shapes and directions, please.
23:00Is it blue?
23:01Is it red?
23:02Is it red?
23:02Is it yellow?
23:03Is it yellow?
23:04Orange?
23:04Uh-uh.
23:06Skin colour, white?
23:08Oh!
23:08Skin colour?
23:09Is that a shape?
23:12Colours, shapes and directions.
23:13Running!
23:15No!
23:18Any squares?
23:20Uh-uh.
23:20Square!
23:21Any circles?
23:23Circles!
23:24Any triangles?
23:25Triangle!
23:26Diamonds!
23:27Uh-uh!
23:30What other shapes are there?
23:32Rhombas!
23:34Boo!
23:34Seagull!
23:36In the sky!
23:37Green?
23:38Uh-uh!
23:38I've done quite a lot of green!
23:40Oh!
23:41Get brown down!
23:43Oh!
23:44Get brown down!
23:45Get brown down!
23:49Oh!
23:49Oh!
23:55Please stop painting, do not look back.
23:59Come on, you can look at what they did.
24:04Honestly, it's not bad.
24:06Yeah!
24:14You listen, I'm dressed in grunting, Amanda.
24:16I've never heard anyone grunt, he's on a horse.
24:20There was a bit of flexibility on the rules.
24:22They also said leg as a shape, and I guess a leg is a shape.
24:25Well, no, it isn't. Is it not?
24:27No, it isn't a shape.
24:29Is it not? No!
24:31If someone told you to draw a leg shape, you'd know exactly what to draw.
24:35That's true. Very clever.
24:39We'll see their paintings after you have watched some adverts
24:43and Alex has flossed me.
24:46Bring forth the Gooch floss!
24:53APPLAUSE
24:57Welcome back to Taskmaster and an intimate team task involving painting and grunting.
25:02Oh, yes.
25:03One person from each team could look at the original painting while the painters held them
25:06and asked questions.
25:08The answers could, of course, only come in the form of grunts or, in Armando's case, quite a lot of
25:12words.
25:13Let's see the team of three's picture, first of all.
25:17This is what Joel, Amy and Kamel came up with.
25:21Oh!
25:22APPLAUSE
25:26You used to say that Freddie Mercury didn't ride horses.
25:31We don't know. R.I.P.
25:33Look at all those beautiful leg shapes.
25:35Yeah.
25:36And look at the direction of the horse as we compare the two.
25:39Yeah.
25:39Oh!
25:41The only thing that's laid it down. It's pretty good.
25:43Yeah. It's pretty good.
25:44It's not bad.
25:44Quite a coquettish back leg from their horse.
25:48LAUGHTER
25:50May I?
25:52You might not think it's quite as good when you see what the team of two managed to come up
25:56with.
25:56Let's go.
25:56Ready? They did this.
25:59LAUGHTER
26:10That was with Armando saying full word.
26:12Yeah.
26:13LAUGHTER
26:14I think I made the mistake by facing the man forward,
26:18because that's what Putin does in the photo I've seen of him.
26:21So, the man's forward, but the horse is sideways.
26:26What is the horse?
26:27It's got...
26:28Where's the horse?
26:29It's got years...
26:29It's years are done this way.
26:30The only way you have the horse is if it was painted seconds after it was hit by a bazooka.
26:35LAUGHTER
26:37I haven't said this in 20 series, but I sort of think you should be removed from the show.
26:42LAUGHTER
26:46Let's have a look at all three.
26:47OK, all three, and then some points, please, Greg.
26:50It says something when...
26:51..when that painting of Freddie Mercury on...
26:54..sitting on the back of an Anteater is by far the best picture!
27:00So, is that five points for the team of three?
27:02Of course!
27:03Right.
27:03Of course!
27:04And now it's...
27:06..how low do we go, I suppose.
27:08LAUGHTER
27:09So, I was going to give you two points.
27:11You do need to be penalised for Armando's flagrant cheating,
27:14so you'll have one point and you'll thank me for it.
27:17LAUGHTER
27:17It's one for the team of two, it's five for the team of three.
27:19APPLAUSE
27:23Let's get on with the next task, please.
27:25OK, and Taskmaster gets all classy now,
27:28as this task involves ascension via a gilded royal staircase,
27:32upon which there are boobs.
27:35LAUGHTER
27:47Alex?
27:48Kamal?
27:49LAUGHTER
27:52Ah.
27:54Ooh!
27:56GASPS
27:58Have you seen it?
28:00Have I seen what?
28:01Thanks.
28:03Like the echo.
28:04Me too.
28:05How are you?
28:07Good.
28:10There's so many boobs.
28:12Greg did the high ones.
28:16It's the alphabet.
28:19Nothing gets by me.
28:20Get to the top of the staircase.
28:23You must take one step at a time.
28:27On each step you must discard a letter
28:30and say at least one word.
28:33You must not use a word,
28:35because...
28:35I love to start it again,
28:37because I'm not listening to what I'm saying.
28:38LAUGHTER
28:39Get to the top of the staircase.
28:42Get to the top of the staircase.
28:45It feels like a bit of me, this.
28:47You must take one step at a time.
28:49On each step you must discard a letter
28:52and say at least one word.
28:55You must not use a word containing a letter you have discarded.
29:00And you must not repeat any words at any point.
29:03No, that's not a bit of me, this.
29:04Really not a bit of me.
29:06You must not repeat any words at any point.
29:09Otherwise you must start again.
29:11Highest step reached wins.
29:13You have ten minutes.
29:15Your time starts on the whistle.
29:17Do you understand?
29:19It's very condescending.
29:21LAUGHTER
29:22Yes, I understand.
29:24It's pretty simple.
29:25All the information's on the task.
29:28LAUGHTER
29:28If you want to put on the alphabet gauntlet...
29:30Uh...
29:33Look at this.
29:35This is going to go badly.
29:37There are 25 steps.
29:40Are there 25 letters in the alphabet?
29:43There are, aren't there?
29:44Are there?
29:45Roughly.
29:51So, early on you said,
29:52oh, this is a bit of me, this is.
29:54Right?
29:55And then later you went,
29:56oh, actually, this is not a bit of me.
29:58What happened to change your mind that this was a bit of you?
30:01I realised that when I said, oh, this is a bit of me...
30:03Yeah.
30:04Uh...
30:05It was just steps.
30:06Right.
30:08LAUGHTER
30:08That's what I'm intrigued.
30:11So...
30:12So the thing that's a bit of you is walking up steps.
30:15Yeah.
30:16And I'm always interested in digging into an actor's method.
30:20Your method is to say the words, but not think about them.
30:25LAUGHTER
30:28Yes!
30:30LAUGHTER
30:31Yes.
30:33Right, who are we going to see first?
30:34First up, it's Ian, Dom and Paige.
30:37That's Iannucci, Domit and Joanna Paige.
30:48Hi.
30:49Just say the letter and then the word.
30:50That'll be crazy.
30:52Hi.
30:53Hi.
30:53Hi.
30:55Hi.
30:56Hi.
30:57Let's not say yes again, please.
30:59I'm discarding the letter X.
31:04Fruit.
31:05I'm discarding the letter Z.
31:09Dromedary.
31:10Dromedary.
31:12G, hamster.
31:14N, mouse, T, buzzard.
31:19Back.
31:20What's the letter?
31:21T.
31:21T back, OK.
31:22What's the letter yes?
31:27What's the letter ah yep?
31:32Why to j
31:35Yeah, you've got a T in helicopter unfortunately yes, but you can't use words using any of these letters
31:44Yeah, it's hardly thought it was
31:47Same
31:48Pardon same well. I don't think you can say that really because what was the one you just put down
31:53Free them all up and start again. I understand it now. Yeah, don't say anything else. I get it. Okay.
31:58We're in yeah, let's go
31:59Okay, I'm discarding the letter
32:04W be you oh
32:08Lovely we're halfway through the alphabet. Yes. Well, you can't really say yes. No
32:16Sorry about that. Can I ask a question? Do I have to say I'm discarding the letter? I don't know
32:20why you're doing that
32:24This changes everything G house B new
32:39X soppy soppy you've had why those let's start again. Oh
32:47This is where we got to last time
32:49This is where we got to last time
32:54Pardon you saying why?
32:56Start again
32:57Yeah
32:58There's a w
33:00Not appropriate
33:02One minute thirty left
33:03Two fuck
33:05Say
33:06Head
33:07Still got a minute twenty
33:08Head
33:09Balance
33:09Eagle
33:10Bomb
33:13Eye
33:1444 seconds
33:18Nail
33:19How are we spelling nail?
33:23Is it with an eye?
33:25No
33:28Are we spelling it wrong?
33:30Yeah
33:33Um
33:36Oh you can just like look at this
33:38Yeah, we've only got fifteen seconds now
33:40Just look at this and like spell stuff off that
33:41Well you said that twice so start again you got ten seconds
33:45Should I just take the ten seconds just to think for like a moment just enjoy the fact that we're
33:49in a beautiful place
33:50Yeah, yeah, let's have a look around
33:58B
34:01Thin
34:03And that is your time up
34:04Your language in the last one wasn't great
34:06Yeah, lovely
34:07Indiscar the NLF
34:09Yes
34:10Right
34:11I'm off for some ice cream
34:20I wrote down that Joel Joel and Armando are very different men aren't they?
34:26Mm-hmm
34:26And my evidence for that was that your opener was high and his was dromedary
34:34Would you all like to see a grown man say a word that he knows he shouldn't be saying?
34:38Mm-hmm
34:39Let's have a look at that
34:43Why?
34:49Yeah
34:53It's so cute, it's like a lady's going to be like, we've kissed, what should we do next?
34:57And you're like
34:59Why?
35:01You start going fucking bitch
35:03I shouted bomb
35:06Which I just thought
35:07No
35:08I know I just
35:09I wrote down something when you started bomb
35:10I wrote
35:12Armando has started to look like a politician having a breakdown in Westminster
35:17Joanna was most confident in her decisions
35:19I had a system and it was animals
35:23Every third word you said was an animal
35:25Was it?
35:26Which is a strange pattern of vocabulary
35:27She got the highest out of these three except for Armando
35:32She got the eleventh step, Armando the twelfth
35:35Joel very pleased with his eight
35:36I'll take that
35:37I'll take eight
35:38Yeah, I'll definitely take that
35:40I just enjoyed the step
35:43Right, that's the end of part three
35:44In part four
35:45Someone will wear the hip flask
35:47A parachute
35:48Some melatonin
35:49A video of a lady dancing in the nudge
35:51And a trolley with Lorraine Kelly in it
35:53It sounds like one hell of a night out
35:55Get me in
36:05Welcome back
36:06To the final part of the show on a task which feels like a sad metaphor for the ageing process
36:12Yes, I suppose you're right
36:13They're struggling to get up the stairs
36:14Then forgetting what they're doing
36:15And heading back down again
36:17And they seem to have lost the most basic of vocabulary
36:20It's a laugh though, isn't it, Greg?
36:21It's a laugh
36:22Simple rules
36:23Simple rules
36:23Lose a letter every step
36:24Don't repeat words or say words that contain the lost letters
36:27Just two people left to go
36:28It is Amy and Kamel
36:34Oh
36:34Box
36:36Put it on the floor
36:38Wherever you want
36:40Right, now pick it up
36:41And start again
36:44You've discarded X and then use the word box which has an X in it
36:47I wanted to do the other way around, didn't I?
36:50Z
36:52Hello
36:52Hello
36:53X
36:55Hi
36:55Hi
36:57Hi
36:58No, you said box you can't repeat words
37:03On the step
37:04No, you've got to be on the step
37:08You can say X, that would be helpful
37:10X
37:11Great
37:12And what word are you going to say?
37:14Cheese
37:17W
37:18Ice cream
37:19J
37:19South
37:20G
37:20North
37:21L
37:21East
37:30East
37:31Helena
37:33East
37:34East
37:34Ci
37:38East
37:39West
37:40West
37:40East
37:41East
37:41East
37:44West
37:44East
37:44East
37:47East
37:48East
37:49T. M. E. I.
38:02N. A.
38:16What a performance from both, really.
38:19Strong. Wasn't it? Yeah.
38:20Apart from the double box nightmare.
38:22Oh, yeah.
38:23I didn't quite get it, and then I got it.
38:25Then you got it. Then I got it.
38:27And I knew you were sure when you got to the word loaf,
38:29because you said loaf so threateningly.
38:33Loaf.
38:34Very whole.
38:35Yeah.
38:36I never thought I would see a grown man discard a child's play letter
38:41and say aye, and internally go, aye, so cool.
38:47I feel like that was the best I ever did on any of the tasks.
38:50Well, you say that, there's a slight...
38:52Oh, no, don't do this!
38:53Yes!
38:55Yes!
38:55And I don't what?
38:57It's all right.
38:58Hey, hey, hey, hey.
38:59Ten seconds ago, I was saying how cool you were.
39:02Yeah.
39:03Can I say something?
39:06Wiggle your boobs.
39:07When...
39:08Oh!
39:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:13The thing was, you ended up with two letters,
39:15and Amy ended up with one letter when they got to the top.
39:1925 steps, 26 letters, but you still had two letters.
39:21Imagine if I did better.
39:24Nowhere near, John.
39:26Nowhere near.
39:27LAUGHTER
39:28There's no way Wankboy's beaten him.
39:31LAUGHTER
39:32We love about this episode.
39:33It started with someone struggling with a wink
39:35and ended up with someone struggling with a wink.
39:38Right.
39:39Isn't it right?
39:40That's right.
39:44Ah, that's...
39:45That's a lovely bit of work.
39:46Yeah.
39:47Once you've all gone, we'll re-record that with me, Sagan.
39:53Well, we couldn't understand what happened with all the letters,
39:55so have a look at this.
39:57H.
39:59Our.
39:59O-U-R.
40:01S.
40:02Rib.
40:03U.
40:04U.
40:04Was it rib or rip?
40:06Ba.
40:06R.I.B.
40:09U.
40:10U.
40:16BULL BE 청 fingers...
40:20Thank you, congratulations.
40:22I know the alphabet.
40:24LAUGHTER
40:25You didn't discard the U on a step until you took a second step with the U,
40:29so you took one extra step.
40:32You had already got to 20 at that point.
40:34I just want you to know that I did not cheat on purpose.
40:39That was an oversight. I would never cheat.
40:42That's what Nixon said.
40:44LAUGHTER
40:45I am not a cheat.
40:46So, points-wise, eight steps for Joel, one point.
40:50Joanna got to 11, two points for Mando, 12, three points.
40:52Once Camille, you got to 20 steps, you get four points,
40:54but the winner, 25 steps, all of them,
40:56and five points to Amy Frederick.
40:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:01Quick look at the scores, then, shall we?
41:03Yes, I think we could have our first look at the series scoreboard,
41:07an early look at that.
41:08We have three men in their 30s.
41:10Camille's on 37, Mando, 36, and Joel, 35.
41:13Two women in their 50s.
41:15LAUGHTER
41:17Joanna's got 50 and Amy's got 53 at this point.
41:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:21Let's take it off.
41:22Yeah...
41:24Yes, and also...
41:26PGRITOON
41:27Oh, for God's sake.
41:29LAUGHTER
41:29Take it out!
41:31Take it out!
41:32Take it out!
41:33Take it out!
41:34Take it out!
41:35Take it out!
41:36Take it out!
41:36It's been taking so long today!
41:38Awww!
41:40Just in time.
41:41Just in time.
41:43OK, everyone, please make your way to the stage
41:46Let's finish the final task of the show!
41:49APPLAUSE
41:57Hello, you delightful cherub.
42:00Hello, Greg. These are available at just £19.99.
42:04Who will be reading the task out?
42:08Armando Iannucci.
42:11The Colonel.
42:13OK, here we go.
42:15Transfer Greg's balls from your bucket to your beaker.
42:19You must wave with one hand at all times,
42:22and that hand must not touch balls or snooker cues.
42:25Also, your snooker cue must balance with one end
42:28touching the table at all times,
42:30and you can only touch your snooker cue with your non-waving hand.
42:35For every one of Alex's balls that ends up in your beaker,
42:39three of Greg's balls will be subtracted from your score.
42:43I'm already questioning this as I'm reading it.
42:45You have 100 seconds.
42:47Most Greg's balls wins.
42:48They had to be Greg's balls, did they?
42:51For this task?
42:52Everyone likes them.
42:53Really?
42:54You can all grasp your cues now, as Armando is.
42:58OK.
42:59And have one hand ready to wave.
43:01So they must be waving at all times.
43:02Greg, if they don't wave, we need to be on them.
43:04Oh, I'll be on them like a puma.
43:06It's grab and go.
43:07Start waving.
43:08And start transferring balls.
43:11They're off.
43:14Screaming�es, why?
43:16We're waving.
43:17Hey, Joe, waving.
43:18Waving, please, Joe.
43:19Waving!
43:23Waving!
43:24Waving.
43:25Waving.
43:26Oh, no, car.
43:27Whoa!
43:29Waving.
43:30Waving.
43:33isolate on the question.
43:33Waving.
43:35Hello, Camille.
43:44Oh!
43:47Oh!
43:48Oh!
43:48Oh!
43:49Your balls are everywhere, Greg!
43:51Oh, my God!
43:53Right!
43:53Right!
43:5415 seconds left, everyone!
43:59Oh!
44:00Oh!
44:02Oh!
44:03Oh!
44:05Waving!
44:08Three, two, one!
44:11Stop!
44:15You got some Alex's.
44:16I got some Alex's.
44:19Well, Greg, I'm going to have to count out how many Alex's balls
44:22there are in there.
44:23Beakers.
44:24Yes.
44:25I'll be honest, halfway through, I forgot which one was
44:28supposed to be in there.
44:30Which one were you supposed to have in?
44:32Greg.
44:32Greg.
44:33Greg's balls.
44:33Greg, Greg, Greg.
44:35Well, it was fun.
44:38Listen, we'll add them up.
44:38We'll add it to your final scores.
44:40Come down and join me!
44:48Well, well, well.
44:49Well, exactly, I didn't say that.
44:51Well, well, well.
44:51Well, the balls in tubes, were they the right balls?
44:53Well, interesting.
44:54I mean, Amy and Joel both got 11 balls in tubes.
44:59Oh, Joel's like a machine, Joel.
45:01Was like a machine.
45:02But was he like a good machine?
45:04LAUGHTER
45:05Six of me, five of Greg's.
45:07That's a score of minus 13.
45:08LAUGHTER
45:11Oh...
45:11Wank!
45:14APPLAUSE
45:18Amanda and Joanna both put four of Greg's balls in the bucket,
45:22correctly.
45:23Kamel put eight balls in.
45:25One was an Alex, which means you get a score of five.
45:27You're in second place.
45:28But the winner, five points, 11 of Greg's balls,
45:30Amy Gleddiel again.
45:31APPLAUSE
45:34Wow!
45:35Wow!
45:37You want to hear the final scores, then?
45:39I want to hear the final scores, then.
45:40In joint fourth, Joanna and Joel with 12 points,
45:42but in joint first, by herself, it's Amy Gleddiel with 22 points.
45:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:48Amy Gleddiel wins the episode.
45:51Please head up to go silly with your string, the Pauls thing!
45:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:59So what have we learnt today?
46:01Well, we've learnt a lot about people.
46:03Some actors don't think about what they're saying,
46:05they're just saying the words.
46:07Some people cough in words.
46:09Some people think that skin colour is a shape.
46:12LAUGHTER
46:12It's been a funny old show.
46:14Started off with someone struggling with a wink.
46:18LAUGHTER
46:19And ended with someone struggling with a wink.
46:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:41We're off again, but here's your winner, it's Amy Gleddiel!
46:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:08END
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